AUTISM CHILDHOOD TRAITS | Is This Autism? - My Autistic Traits Seen in Childhood

[@l8rliz]

my mom told me once that i had "woke up on the wrong side of the bed" so for a week straight, i monitors my attitude and which side of the bed i woke up on. in conclusion, they have *no* correlation.

[@kierasaurusfrost]

Oh my gosh this is the funniest thing. I used to take everything super literally too. I still do but not as badly as when I was a kid. But like, why couldn’t people be more direct? Say what you mean! Don’t give me these weird phrases that make absolutely no sense

[@nekochadechu]

Idk if i have autism but in elementary school i wouldn't eat what i was given at the cafeteria and a teacher told me if i don't eat i'll "fall in the apples" (a french expression to say you'll collapse) and i looked around and said there were no apples I REMEMBER I DIDNT KNOW WHAT THE TEACHER MEANT AND LAUGHED BUT GOT SCOLDED FOR LAUGHING 😔

[@anaarciniega6105]

hahaha I would literally look too much into that quote too

[@izzy08x]

omg, my mum use to say that and i always wondered how i dould have got out of the bed on the wrong side cuz my bed was against a wall.

[@0791mia]

Same

[@isabellabellabellabella]

paige: no one make fun of my makeup in the comments paige's eyeliner: *is literally perfect*

[@chaples_]

I was looking for this like she is gorgeous looking

[@ivan0kurnia]

I thought it's about the fake freckles?

[@Smith.S.sStocHasticSs]

Wishing my freckles looked so perfectly imperfectly sweet like that- WAIT A SEC- AH HAH! Make-up is genius....

[@zahraaal-qudsi3725]

Yeah I didn't get it either her makeup is literally perfect hehe she's so perfectionist

[@Cauldron6]

Yeah man I was gonna say, can you do a makeup tutorial!!!

[@MonicaBryant]

When I was a kid, my friend would come over and play with toys in my room. After he went home, I wouldn't touch any of the toys he touched because I didn't want to erase the memory of him coming over. I STILL do this. If a friend comes over, it takes me a long time to move a chair they sat in because it would make me sad to erase them. It sounds ridiculous typing it out but I can't stop doing it.

[@ohhmaii]

This is beautiful actually. I hope your memories that bring you joy all feel seen. ❤

[@anna20812]

wait is this really bc of autism?? i've done the same thing my entire life, still do, but i never knew what the explanation was. everyone who's seen me do that says that it's unusual.

[@alexhackett8023]

I did this too and I'd cry sometimes after they left

[@cutecupcake627]

this is really sweet!!

[@ellemarie1998]

Omg this!!!

[@tamekahensley4911]

I am not formally diagnosed, but this video makes me feel so seen.

[@ebonyblack4563]

If you're wanting a diagnosis I hope you can get it soon. I've been seeking for almost a decade, I mask hard, but I simply have too many of the signs. I even had one of my former teachers have a realization moment when I meet with her for my youngest brother who is diagnosed: "Oh you're autistic too." Great, could you tell that to my therapist for me? In her defence at the time I was in her classes females were assumed to just not have adhd or autism. At least I have the adhd diagnosis now, adderall has changed my life.

[@paracosmic_skye7854]

same

[@leoniek9359]

Same. I have self-diagnosed myself, because I have been reading about and relating to autism for SO long, and I thought, "Wait, why am I waiting for a doctor to tell me I have this. I have a friend with autism (she prefers person first language) and she thinks I am autistic, I struggle with all the same things as her, and also everything I read about it explains my life story in words I never knew would work so well together. I am this. I am autistic. I have autism." So yeah that's how it happened and... I'M WAITING FOR MY PROFESSIONAL DIAGNOSIS AND I WANT IT! ❤

[@cowber.t]

same tho

[@leoniek9359]

@@haydensl23 ❤❤

[@Mizore34]

You're either super relateable or I need to see a doctor...

[@shauna3742]

I feel this comment

[@MelieSue]

Yeah, none of this sounds that unusual. A lot of it sounds like typical kid stuff or just standard OCD...

[@haliensexist]

Can it be both? 🤣

[@evelyn-bz7hv]

SAME i’m so confused now omg

[@deinodinosuchus]

@@MelieSue who gon tell em

[@lemonboy7994]

17:04 I can accept that people have different views. What I REALLY struggle with is accepting that people have different views after being provided with information or points that in MY mind should be irrefutable evidence. Like did this information not change your mind????? How do you know this and just like,, dismiss it or something????? I think this makes me a bad debater bc I'll repeat the same point over and over again bc I feel like that should be enough to change your mind and if it hasn't changed your mind then??? I have to repeat it. Obviously I'm aware of this and I try to keep this in check but sometimes I do find myself getting super frustrated because I feel like people just aren't listening to me or comprehending what I'm saying.

[@lemonboy7994]

Like I guess in mind I just cant deal with the fact that some people just like won't change their mind no matter how much a reason with them and how much evidence I present them. Like I can (usually) understand that some people don't have the same information available to them. But when they just reject that information it's like what????

[@ebonyblack4563]

@@lemonboy7994 such a mood! I struggled with this for so bloody long, and my urge to just tell somebody they're being willfully ignorant is palatable so much of the time. I think learning to write essays helped, learning to do multipoint presentation, and just accepting that I have always been much deeper into most topics than others will ever be.

[@atinyevil1383]

@@lemonboy7994 I know this feeling very well and still have issues with it as a 23 year old. It’s sometimes overwhelmingly frustrating.

[@sleepyfucker09]

this... i havent related to anything more!

[@bumfrog8513]

PLEASEEEE I AM THE SAME WAY!

[@jazlynhall2094]

I’m weird about noises. Loud noise, with no pattern, that I can’t control are a NO...but I play all my music/movies/shows rlly loud bc it makes me feel safe.

[@amymurr28]

@Rosa Maria this is so me- the volume on the tv is always 10 or 12 and no other number but i can never really explain why ? my sister gets so annoyed at me when i’m so controlling on a freaking tv volume

[@sophiemccormick6796]

@Rosa Maria with me the volume has to be on either an even number or a multiple of 5

[@HistoryNerd808]

Completely the same way

[@NSR4235-e3x]

Omg yes

[@lucyferrara5489]

A lot of times I can’t listen to music if it doesn’t have a solid beat bsbsbs

[@katiemiller8313]

"I'm better with rules than I am with options." I relate so hard to this!

[@sciencenotsrigma]

Me, too!

[@Ch3lRae]

My daughter is autistic, she was diagnosed at 2. She’s 8 now. She hoards the weirdest things too and always has. If you give her a wrapped present, she has to save the paper, the box it came in and any other “garbage” along with the gift. She might even cherish the garbage part more than the actual gift 😂 she’s the freakin best kid ever 💕

[@turtle4087]

I am 25 and still have to force myself to throw out gift bags that are 5+ years old, wrapping paper that isn't torn to shreds, boxes, etc 😅 I keep everything that I might have any kind of use for within the next 5 years.

[@laureverie8675]

I used to do that too, but with food wrappers haha🌸❣️ hope your kid is doing well

[@ebonyblack4563]

If she doesn't do it already teach her how to put the boxes in each other so she can store more in a smaller space while still feeling like they're all secure. But do this by showing her with Your Own boxes, do not move or touch her's unless she wants help trying it after you show her. I've always hoarded containers, esspecially if they're specially shaped for what came in them. It's a security thing for me (as I got older I started using them for crafts too), I find it comforting to know I can store my precious things safely. To that end toys and games that pack up into themselves like houses that fold to reveal the inside but let you store everything back into the closed house are awesome. Also get her her own personal chest, and tackle boxes. A big chest reduces the urge to keep tons of boxes, and tackle boxes with all the little slots help with organizing and tracking urges so she can feel more comfortable carrying things as well as putting them away.

[@BookishlyBri]

My brother is autistic and keeps boxes too😂

[@stephsoohall6841]

I know that growing up that my siblings would save wrapping paper and they say we need to save this. Being the little kid I’m like… ummm no we don’t

[@BlackGryph0n]

Yep... yep, that all checks out. Especially the “Gabe needs to learn how to be a normal person” bit. Mom ended up homeschooling me because school was simultaneously too easy, and too stressful.

[@Shaun126]

My kindergarten teacher tried to hold me back a year because I was so bored out of my skull I was playing games with her in my head about what I knew. My parents were like theres no way she doesn’t know the requirements for the next grade she’s known them for a couple years now... then my parents pulled me out and homeschooled me 1st-8th grade lol.

[@yassiec5294]

too easy and too stressful! yes

[@gothicgrandma4559]

That too easy but too stressful really hit me. I didn't get my diagnosis till I was past forty so I spent almost my whole life wondering why that applied.

[@michelleviggue1950]

Hi black gryphon

[@meadowrae1491]

My mom home schooled me because they said I would need medication to sit still in class. I was also pretty advanced and incredibly bored in school all the way up to college.

[@elizabethshay1177]

I personified EVERYTHING as a kid, I didn't want it to feel bad if I threw it out, or anything. It got bad. Now though I basically let everything go pretty easy unless it was something someone got for me, then I feel bad. I do however have to keep all my hoodies, blankets, and a lot of my stuffed animals still. So ....

[@amymurr28]

i remember in my classroom i gave my chair a name and dressed it up with my coats and scarves aswell- i remember my best friend thinking i was soo weird but it is what it is lol

[@Divya-ry1uu]

explaining to people that I can't get rid of something someone gave to me even if I haven't spoken to them in years is the freaking worst bc _how do you not get it_

[@CocoaBe3tle]

I used to collect stuffed animals, and I had a lamb toy and my dad threw it out without my knowledge...I had a meltdown, I had only got the toy one week ago but I had already personified it and knew it was going to be lonely without me and I was devastated. I still think about that lamb toy

[@IdaNapieraa]

I had a stuffed turtle when I was a kid, a few years ago my sister’s plush got like soggy/soft, so I took the stuffing out of my turtle and gave it to her. I felt so bad afterwards, almost like if I murdered him? I still regret doing that lmao

[@IdaNapieraa]

And now I realized I have refered to this toy as him, unconsciously, after many years.

[@Delihlah]

My teachers did weird group things where they would have us switch groups every few minutes or "go pick a group" and I'd always just sit and stare having a whole panic attack in my head because I didn't have any friends and I didn't know who to group with or where to sit so I'd stay in the same spot and usually get yelled at.

[@lfairy6130]

Memory unlocked. 🥲💞

[@PanickedPluto]

I use to beg to work alone on group projects. Some would say no and some amazing teachers would say yes. Like if I’m willing to put in the work of a whole group project and get an A why not ya know?

[@Candicedickinsonllc]

i don’t think that’s a trait of autism lol . that typical school social anxiety 💀

[@Delihlah]

@@Candicedickinsonllc I don't have much social anxiety, I love people, I don't do well with change or in general making a lot of my own choices.

[@Delihlah]

@@Candicedickinsonllc but sure, you know more than my doctors.

[@alexklein3534]

I'm a social worker who works with foster children, some with Autism. Of course, they've also experienced trauma. However, the way you break down what autism looks like especially in young girls, is so enlightening. I've researched autism for my job, but mostly read from clinicians. Thank you for truly educating me from an actual autistic person's perspective. Keep doing what you're doing! I feel like I understand the kiddos I work with much better.

[@nunyabiznes3901]

You should read up on FASD. It is prevalent with foster kids and presents much like autism, so many kids get misdiagnosed. FASD needs different interventions than ASD even though the symptoms are so similar.

[@stephsoohall6841]

I have aspergers and wonder if anyone in my birth place knew what autism or what Aspergers was. Btw I was adopted from Seoul South Korea.

[@stephsoohall6841]

Oh my gosh not sure I had a anxiety attack first time ( not a melt down) I could t breathe I could talk and my boss asked me are you ok??? And all could do was stare at him in horror cuz my emotions were swimming my my mind. And all I could think of scream and cry in tears. One situation where I wanted to kick and scream. I don’t know if this is because of having Aspergers but I did feel so much anxiety that I couldn’t do anything.

[@stephsoohall6841]

The one time I see and won’t forget 206 cuz that’s when I lost my grandpa passed when I was 18 and since then I’m leery of those numbers.

[@stephsoohall6841]

I know that when I finished math first time high school it was hard I got a c but I said no I should be higher! I worked my butt off!!! I took it hard cuz I felt like it wasn’t enough. I ended up taking the same class same teacher again next year then I stopped math.

[@clairemilly]

I have OCD and the “everything must be touched equally” thing really landed with me!!

[@mugglepuff]

idk if this is why you do it, but I do it because if I do it an odd amount of times, I feel bad for the other hand/foot/etc. because they didn't do it the same amount of times.

[@arostea]

@@mugglepuff must equalize EVERYTHING /hj

[@LivLabelFree]

@@mugglepuff YES to this!!

[@efg1092]

Yeah same I have to touch Everything equally

[@itsdune079]

I don't have OCD but I have sensory hypersensitivities (but also a bit of sensory craving) and I need that too: it's called "sensory symmetry". I legitimately get irritated when it doesn't happen, because usually, the first touch was accidental, and so because I didn't want to be touching the thing in the first place, I'll have to touch it with my other side to make up for it. Orrrrr I'll have to touch it again with the exact same spot on my body that I touched it with before, because I need a sense of closure (evenness). The irritation comes from an undying need to control my surroundings, I know that for sure.

[@Claire-vm6dz]

I had a meltdown at 18 years old because the teacher moved the seats... they put all the seats back and gave me my specific one. lots of screaming, lots of crying. They didn't suspend me because I'm usually the teachers' pet and it was so disturbing to see.

[@Claire-vm6dz]

It's very interesting, I only recently found out that I'm autistic. BUT all my life I've been in programs for emotional issues/in and out of hospitals, and have seen so many doctors. I can now link SO MANY "emotional" issues with sensory overload. Dumb doctors.

[@Claire-vm6dz]

I JUST GOT MY PROFESSIONAL DIAGNOSIS! I AM AUTISTIC! I waited 8 months for this!

[@leoniek9359]

@@Claire-vm6dz AHHHH OMG CLAIRE!!!!! I am waiting for my diagnosis and I think I am losing my sanity waiting for some STUPID piece of paper from a very flawed medical system that tells me I have something _that I already know I have._ Sorry for that little rant, but I'm so happy for you because I know waiting for one sucks

[@leoniek9359]

@@Claire-vm6dz I'm starting my diagnosis process NEXT SESSION!! I'm so excited!

[@sylve2474]

@@Claire-vm6dz congrats, I'm glad that you have an official diagnosis to give better context to things

[@amandaballard971]

My daughters name is Aubrie she is almost 4yrs old she hasn’t spoke one word yet. She’s on a waiting list to be tested for autism but there’s quite a wait. We don’t speak about autism in the house bcuz her dad gets defensive. It’s hard for him. She walks on her tippy toes & she’s obsessed w her tablet. She holds the tablet to her ear 90% of the time listening to spongebob over & over just hitting repeat. A lot of ppl have told us she’s autistic but idk anything about it. She’s very smart very very smart w everything else just the speech she’s behind. My oldest daughter Destinie watches u on Tiktok & showed me ur channel. I enjoy watching u so maybe I can get some insight. U have given me higher hope. I just want my daughter to have a normal life & be happy.

[@the_parrots3579]

also watch FatheringAutism they have some really great content they share, what will also happy others

[@jennyarteaga9209]

I follow a woman on here because her 3 yr old has autism. She was diagnosed a year ago & reminded me of my daughter before she was diagnosed. Her channel is called RaisingAutism. The diagnosis itself takes some time to accept but it helps to know so that we can give them the support they need. I promise you it will be worth it. Bless you & your family 🥰

[@-Lola.]

You sound like a very understanding mother. So many parents are afraid of autism or act like ignoring it will make it go away. It’s good to see a parent prepare and educate themselves

[@kikisklaws]

Hang in there my son is 12 high functioning and is doing so well! It’s so hard to hear it but does not mean they won’t achieve anything, I always tell him his autism is like everyone is on the highway and he takes back roads......he can always get where he is going and achieve anything it just means sometimes by taking a different route.

[@rinrinri101]

No one's life is 'normal', but happiness is certainly achievable. I hope your husband stops being so defensive and starts educating himself. Autism makes you different, not better or worse than anyone else. We see things differently, and I'm certain as your child grow, she will notice her dad's behavior and it will negatively affect her. My father acted like this (autism was a 'bad' word) and it embedded the idea in me that I am a burden because I was not an 'easy' child. Luckily in my adulthood he's changed but, the internal issues thinking I'm a burden has not. It affected how I perceive myself and brought me down constantly. I pray your husband gets over himself before your child is affected. Please seek specialists in your area if you're able to do so. Also read up on the rights of those with disabilities in schools, so you know what your child needs and how they can adjust for her.

[@gittevandevelde2208]

"I am better with rules than I am with options, don't give me options" ICONIC

[@lethalprincess2087]

RELATABLE 😅

[@mrsanonymous414]

At least she’ll respect boundaries right😅

[@anakarinacortez5787]

OMG Y IS THIS ME

[@steveneardley7541]

I saw this really funny thing at an ice cream parlor. One father, with his six-year-old, listed all forty flavors for his daughter to choose from. She was confused and took forever to make a decision. The next guy in line, also a father with a six-year-old, asked his girl "What color do you want?" "PINK" she yelled almost before it was out of his mouth.

[@Death_the_Kinnie]

In the sixth grade, I had to get a pb&j from the lunch line every day cuz I was lowkey scared the sandwich was gonna be sad if I got something else.

[@echsemia]

I relate to this so much I always thought I was the only one

[@nekochadechu]

Omg before going to sleep in middle school i would draw a character sleeping and i would draw food so she doesn't starve but also other stuff so she lives comfortably while i'm sleeping ahsks

[@alexjane5193]

Before I was diagnosed with Autism I: 1. Collected stuffed animals and every one of them had to be on the bed with me and if one wasn’t I felt like I was hurting their feelings. 2. Eye contact with authority figures made me cry 3. Walked on my tip toes (I was also in gymnastics) but doctors took note that I walked and ran on my tiptoes for a very long time into adolescence. 4. Had meltdowns over not doing things in a specific order 5. Would watch movies over and over until I memorized every. single. line. 6. Have a strong visual memory of early childhood and can remember moments from age 2 and older. 7. Am obsessive over specific types of facts (collected animal encyclopedias) 8. Would not let people touch my hair or face

[@lindensalter6713]

I relate to all of these except 5 and only sort of to 7. I had a fascination with bugs but never had encyclopedias on them

[@IrisTaylor-c3y]

i do or did almost all of these things wth

[@rainesrhapsody2934]

Holy moly i relate to that first one so much.

[@robynv.g1245]

I did so many of these, still kinda do but less

[@rizoldak4594]

1, 3, 7 for me (and I can't even express how happy I am that the numbers I relate to are all prime numbers. It's like the world makes extra sense right now!)

[@bg695]

I have two children on the Autism spectrum, both with ADHD and so many of these made me laugh. The hoarding/collecting, the object permanence, EVERYTHING needing to be on display or it doesn’t exist, sleep issues since birth. My son is 12 and still has never slept a full night. My daughter taught herself to read at age 4 and my son also has a photographic memory. Thanks for making these videos they are so important! ❤️

[@niftythegoblin]

Oh and he might never outgrow it either lol I have (pretty bad) ADHD and I have not slept a normal amount of sleep in my 20 years of life. Either I go to bed early and wake up at 3am or go to bed at 3am and wake up early - or on a weird occasion, sleep for 17 hours straight and wonder if I missed the next election. It used to drive my parents crazy when I was little bc I wasn't diagnosed till I was almost 11 so they had to deal with an insomniac 8 y/o going to bed at 12 bc I just physically could not force myself to get to bed any earlier and boy did I try lol As for your daughter, I'm fairly certain teaching yourself to read makes you a certified genius, I don't make the rules ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

[@hnsfamily]

Please let me know how ur kids were diagnosed?

[@bg695]

@@hnsfamily both children diagnosed by a neurologist. My son at age 2, daughter at age 3.

[@harrietyes]

Today I took an Are You Autistic quiz as a joke (I have a lot of symptoms, but was diagnosed as non autistic when I was 8). There were statements, and you had to put how much you related to them. "I'm always putting my foot in my mouth." I took it literally and was utterly confused on why there was no, "EW GROSS" option... was pretty shocked when I realized it's a phrase.

[@Ellie_2007]

No but I'm pretty sure I took that same quiz 😭 I was literally so confused with that I'm like do people actually do that? Ewww??

[@Friendlyrat_]

When I was reading this comment I saw the statement and was like “what the fuck how is this autism related”😭

[@arielladoreo8909]

I found the perfectionist thing to be spot on. I didn’t even realize how hard I was on myself till my boyfriend told me. If I can’t do it right on the first try I don’t go back to it. Also the seating arrangements in classrooms, as soon as I got used to my new desk group it’d be switched around again. Honestly school was hell because of this!!

[@hayle.booksyt]

Omg i was literally so close to having a full on argument with my teacher after he moved my seat from the back corner of the class to the very front but like i hate confrontation so i just stood there accepting it but in my head i was crying and shouting

[@Kizzy_Is_Dizzy]

I actually have to finish it no matter how many times its not perfect, can spend hours or days to get it done:)

[@hayle.booksyt]

@@Kizzy_Is_Dizzy Same it’s really annoying tho for me cause I also procrastinate a lot so I end up doing things last minute so I’m up until like 3 am trying to make sure my homework is perfect when it’s literally due the next day

[@poppyjones5088]

with the seating arrangements, in the exact same. to the point where i sat at this one place at lunch everyday for weeks and my friend decided to sit there to piss me off. i started freaking out because i just needed to sit there

[@InshasChoice]

Someone mentioned this in another video and I was playing it out in my head. Now that I think of it, I really didn't like it either but as far as I can recall, I didn’t kick up a fuss. In high school it became normal for everyone to get annoyed by seating arrangements- that's bc they couldn't sit with their friends and the teacher was punishing us

[@SP4RT4N0MEG4]

Found out I had autism last year at the age of 18. Still recontextualizing my life

[@eddaeugenianewball5080]

me too, and its really wierd to not wonder how it went so unseen

[@SP4RT4N0MEG4]

@@eddaeugenianewball5080 I always had a hunch and knew to an extent I was different. I was labeled as gifted in school so I think people just thought I was introverted or a nerd. Or maybe that's what I think it was. But yeah since finding out, I'm surprised nobody noticed with how obvious some behaviors are

[@parfiq878]

I’m 17 and will be 18 this year, I figured I want to get diagnosed but I’m still contemplating if I should do it now or after I turn 18... Is there any difference?

[@SP4RT4N0MEG4]

@@parfiq878 the way I see it. The diagnosis matters yes but not really. I'm speaking more so personally. So take this lightly. I went through the process and stopped. Mostly because I felt like the place I was at was making me jump through hoops. They had told me I had lots of signs of the condition but they wanted to do more testing and keeping referring me to other people. Felt like a money grab of sorts. But I personally would've loved to get an actual diagnosis. But I think that only really matters more so if you really want to do advocacy work or something like that. Or you need some form of assistance because of it. I'm high functioning I guess. So for me it's been more about understanding my autism and how it impacts me. And just working on that. Which doesn't necessarily need a diagnosis. I'm basically trying to say. Because it isn't necessarily something debilitating. Just learning to understand yourself and metacognition is what I think matters and will help you the most.

[@eddaeugenianewball5080]

@@SP4RT4N0MEG4 same, I was also considered a nerd, but because I'm a woman coming from a very creative family, everything that was outside of the nerdy side it was attributed to that creative part, and artists are wired, right? So I can kind of understand that but yes there's a lot of obvious behaviors that went unseen. And I've always felt different.

[@LightByGrace]

OMG - assigning feelings and emotions to everything -- that is me, especially as a kid. When I was 8 or 9, I cried when returning boots that didn't fit me because I felt sorry for them. I will feel sorry for newspaper blowing around in the street.

[@realradiantrei]

this reminds me of myself when i was younger, i got this super cute doll that can transform into a cupcake, but i thought i was too old for it and then i felt sad because i thought how sad it would be forr the doll (also the doll was vanilla scented and it smelled so good )

[@LightByGrace]

@@realradiantrei Aww...Yeah, that would be me, too.

[@Hawthorn6852]

Me! I love buying crystals but sometimes if I consider buying one and then I decide not to I feel bad for the crystal because it just got rejected. So then I go back on my decision and grab it to buy it, but then I feel like what if it actually *doesn't* want me to buy it because that's taking it away from its friends??? So then I think "Oh well I'll just buy the one next to it too then" but then my brain is like "wait no that one's not its friend, that one is, no that one! No, that one!" And then I just have to make a decision and walk away or else I get in an endless loop of picking things up and putting them down again...

[@LightByGrace]

@@Hawthorn6852 Yes - the struggle is real!!

[@obscillesk]

oh christ... I used to (and still do) to a certain extent get extremely sad and depressed when I see a toy that's like... so clearly not going to be picked up willingly by any kids. Like, cheap knockoffs of offbrand type stuff thats just, barely mechanically capable of doing the thing it was made to do.

[@brigitteconradie4641]

People are also not allowed to move something of mine, I freak out completely. It's terrifying!

[@hayle.booksyt]

Omg same like literally in english class the person i sit next to always moves my books and pencil case because i like to have them in a specific order and he knows how much it annoys me but it literally gives me anxiety when he moves it cause its like its just not in the right place it needs to be perfect.

[@rayne_took_ur_firstborn1]

@@hayle.booksyt whenever someone would sit next to me and move my stuff I would push it back into it's place and if they tried it again I'd push their stuff onto the floor

[@hayle.booksyt]

@@rayne_took_ur_firstborn1 are you literally another version of me I did this once and it was whilst the class was watching a movie and his like 1000 page hardback book hit the floor and the entire class just turned and stared but yet no one said anything.

[@hayle.booksyt]

@@rayne_took_ur_firstborn1 I’m such a perfectionist to the point that every English lesson I would set everything up the same way I do everyday and then I would make sure that everything around me was also perfectly in line or in some sort of specific order just to make things look clean and crisp for literally no apparent reason

[@rayne_took_ur_firstborn1]

@@hayle.booksyt Yess I would do this to the point where people would know not to mess with me cause if they messed with my stuff I would get super angry

[@georgerobins4110]

“I couldn’t throw anything away, even garbage” oh mood

[@madeline9538]

ALL OF MY STUFFED ANIMALS HAD FEELINGS WHEN I WAS LITTLE AND I HATED THROWING ANYTHING AWAY. Not autistic I believe but can relate. Edit: was diagnosed with ADHD as an adult at 23

[@svendlarose]

My stuffies still have feelings, values and motivations, and I'm 34 and Autistic.

[@marcrussell54]

@@svendlarose No, you have feelings. And that’s quite normal. We all have attachments.

[@lyss5252]

same i always feel bad when i put them away under my bed, i have a schedule. My collections of mickey mouses, guardians of the galaxy plushies and squishmallows are always out. Then my new ones go on my bed + my comfort duckie.

[@jenlovesthisstuff]

When I was a kid, my Dad who loved Elvis Presley always referred to him as "Uncle Elvis" I seriously believed Elvis was my uncle until high school and when other kids laughed at me I just thought they were stupid 🤣

[@Imbriananeely]

I luckily never had to deal with thinking elvis was my uncle, but I actually live near tupelo ms. If you don’t know Elvis was born in Tupelo, so if you lived where I do, you wouldn’t be laughed at. People would believe you and ask what side of the family you’re on.

[@realpaigelayle]

hey! thanks for watching 🥰 if you guys could ask my mom one question, what would it be? let us know!

[@fish5282]

Hi Tracy, what is the number one thing you wish your past self had known while Paige was growing up?

[@jessy6649]

What are some autistic traits that you don't have? What would you tell other girls who think that they are autistic but the parents don't believe or understand? How can you get an autistic diagnosis as a girl? Does being autistic create prediges when applying to universaties/ jobs? Also p.s. I am so so so happy that you are sharing your experiences with mental health but especially autism, have a lovely day.

[@kelso18ful]

did she feel relieved or upset when she found out you were autistic? like did a lightbulb go off and she felt like everything made sense or did she feel upset like she had done something wrong?

[@Btipton1]

When you found out her diagnosis, was it a relief at finally having answers or was it anger/other emotions that it was took that long to get a diagnosis? At what age did you first suspect that ASD may be a possibility? I was 19 when diagnosed with ASD myself and that was despite my parents and psychologist sister pushing it for 5-6 years +

[@reyyyyy1130]

When your mother found out you were autistic (specifically during your diagnosis), what were her thoughts on it? Was she educated on Autism Spectrum Disorder? How did she view the entire event?

[@ganondorfchampin]

Yes, insomnia is connected to autism, I've actually been staying up all night/morning watching your video, and I'm supposed to do a sleep test this weekend once I actually go the sleep.

[@coyoteinthepool]

I hope it goes well! Is it one of those at-home versions or in the hospital? I recently had one in hospital with all the wires attached to me, and when they got the info back, they said I had to come back again because I just didn't sleep. -_- But how can anyone sleep with all those wires??

[@emilymegra6970]

Lmao when I used to say my prayers at night as a CHILD I would say my parents and siblings names repeatedly until I got the chance to say each of their names first bc I thought that they would be able to know that I didn’t say their name first and that they would think I didn’t care about them.

[@emanimarie4505]

Omg I did similar things

[@emilymegra6970]

@@emanimarie4505 I love this for us

[@amybergeron9637]

Omg yes me too, I remember compulsive prayers like this as a child!

[@emilymegra6970]

@@amybergeron9637 love this for us

[@inthefleish]

Me too!

[@faithinthereins1222]

I’m ADHD and some of these hit the mark, especially the sleep problems, apparently chronic sleep problems goes along with ADHD

[@jessicarector9538]

Yea same here I always have on and off chronic sleep

[@graceperreault6198]

Yea its fucking hell 💀

[@tteee7241]

Adhd and autism are almost the same except for a couple things. If you have sever adhd you’d basically have minor autism I would think. (Pls don’t at me I don’t know)

[@tteee7241]

@@HighLadyoftheSpiteCourt agreed :>

[@MyPammer]

I didn't know that! That explains a lot.

[@laurajones1476]

My parents took me to a psychiatrist when I was 2 because they noticed I had trouble with eye contact and from the ages of 6-9 I barely spoke and it was just a well-known thing that I would make cat noises instead of answering questions in class or speaking to anyone ever and somehow that flew under the radar and I'm still undiagnosed like....what

[@ebonyblack4563]

Cats understand us better than most neural typicals. I still default to feline sounds and a kind of pseudo tonal language when I'm actually content or comfortable with somebody. Luckily my partner embraced this, as one of our mutual friends also does it, said friend also displays many autistic traits as do many others in my friend group. Many of us also readily use shared references when communicating like a shorthand sub-language that smooths everything out, which I miss when talking outside our group.

[@birdwing1232]

Dude me and my sis didn’t talk in full sentences at 5, we had our own language. Ah that probably came off as rude, sorry. Dunno I think my twin sis is the normal one and I’m autistic and she’s influenced me a good bit or i probably couldn’t even speak now. Also we both had a traumatic childhood sorta but Im less affected by it dunno

[@jenniferreynolds9224]

Have you heard of selective mutism?

[@brigitteconradie4641]

The class assignment is so relatable! It's petrifying. Once I walked into class and someone sat on my spot and I started getting really upset. I asked first if I could have my seat and they told me to sit elsewhere and I started having a panic attack and then I sat on the floor the entire lesson.

[@showsgrl83]

You have me wanting to go get tested for autism. You’re describing my life.

[@julianicholexox]

Nothing to be worried about, get checked if it would make you feel better. You are YOU and that is PERFECT either way.

[@gooffig5685]

Me too!

[@ohhmangos]

same

[@jgbreezer]

Autism is also like a superset of neurodiverse traits, so adhd can look like bits of autism and vice versa (though underlying reasons for similar behaviour or struggles vary between them); they're also common together, more so than chance would suggest. I Iike Asperger's from the Inside channel for some other ways of describing them.

[@alicegoldenvalley]

same

[@crystapodrasky]

Omg the going to bed thing and not wanting parents to go to bed until i was asleep thing caused me so much trauma as a kid. I’d have full blown meltdowns and my parents would be so annoyed with me. I never knew other kids felt like that

[@justemine656]

This isn’t really that much of a question, more that I want to tell her, that she isn’t a bad mom at all. My parents haven’t even accepted the fact that I’m autistic.

[@cal920c]

Omg, I feel this... my parents are constantly like “there’s nothing wrong with you” then go on and ask why I can’t “x, y, z”

[@justemine656]

@@cal920c exactly. I had to go behind their back, to get a diagnosis.

[@cal920c]

@@justemine656 Aww :( I never had to go that far, and they were willing to pay for the Psychoeducational assessment in college, but at the same time they didn't really read/understand the report in the end.

[@tteee7241]

My stepbrother has autism and I have adhd but I relate so much to a lot of these. And lately I’ve been sobbing about such small things do you think it’s just severe ADHD or mild autism? Or nothin

[@tteee7241]

Also 2 sounds that will drive me insane : vaccum and babies crying

[@31zn3kc4m]

when you were talking about the sleep and not being able to unless your parents were awake and the tv was on, i had a similar experience but not the same. like when my parents were awake and i was supposed to be sleeping , i would just crawl out of my bed (or crib , i did this for so long) and "sneak" to the living room to watch my parents watch tv but they obviously knew i was there so it was just a game i played where i'd be incessantly giggling and they'd be like "oh do u hear something?" and then take me back to bed. it was like i couldn't sleep unless my parents acknowledged me and tucked me in 2-3 times a night , just to know they were awake and whatnot.

[@KhanaHatake]

Not autistic, but I did a lot of these things as a small child (and always since then) to cope with severe anxiety and sensory issues. I also had a LOT of meltdowns from sensory overload without knowing why I was so upset or acting that way. I'm lucky to have such a great mom that my meltdowns didn't negatively affect our relationship.

[@rachelcherry8290]

As a child I remember having certain clothes that I preferred because they were more comfortable. I hated how certain clothes would tug weird or have an annoying tag. One time my mom got rid of this one shirt without telling me and I was beyond devastated. I also felt stupid for making a big deal out of a shirt but it was one of the few things I liked wearing. I still have certain clothes that I prefer and will pretty much only wear outfits that are different variations of a few items of clothing cuz they are comfy. I also used to brush my teeth similarly and my mom would take away my toothbrush lol

[@ohhmangos]

wait a minute- I HAD THE SAME THING! I refused to wear certain leotards because they were of a certain material (i was a ballerina). Its my sensory thing with my ADD.

[@EliaAliceRaven]

When I was 7, I had a full-on meltdown because my mom threw away a pair of shoes that I loved while we were on holidays (they were admittedly in bad shape, but my mom had absent-mindedly promised me once that I'd get to bring them back with me anyway, and completely forgot about it but I DIDN'T). I found that out like a few hours later, while we were still in the same place, and I had to be physically kept away from the place where they held the garbage cans because I would have gone through every single one of them if I had to to get my shoes back. It's been nearly twenty years and I still haven't forgotten the feeling of that day. So... Making a big deal out of a shirt that was thrown away without you knowing makes perfect sense to me ! (Oh, and my entire wardrobe are variations of similar items, of even the same item that I bought several times because LIFE HAS TAUGHT ME LESSONS, so... Yeah. I FEEL YOU.)

[@rachelcherry8290]

@@EliaAliceRaven im so glad you and others can relate!! I also have clothing that is similar or multiples of the same thing. I have a thing for striped shirts so have of my closet is just black and white stripes. At least it looks cool haha. I would have reacted the same way as you with the shoes.

[@rachelcherry8290]

I remembered something else! I, to this day, will take things literally and just be so confused. My mom would say she was playing phone tag with someone, and I only recently learned that it isn't an actual game.

[@EliaAliceRaven]

@@rachelcherry8290 I love bright-colored shirts with only one color, and of a certain texture, so that's all I have as tops. Thirty or so variations of that. (Literally. I hardly feel the cold so I'm wearing T-shirts and a vague vest even if it's 0°C outside !) I'm basically a cartoon character who's always in the same outfit, minus a color change 😂 Everyone seems to find that weird, but it just makes sense to me ? Like, once I've found something that actually works for me, WHY WOULD I WANT TO CHANGE ? Glad to know that's relatable as well tbh !

[@littlem332]

I’m not autistic but had severe anxiety and OCD type symptoms as a kid. Mostly around sleeping. My mom could not go to bed before me. I could not spend the night at anyone’s house or I would panic. I had to say certain prayers a certain number of times and I believed I wouldn’t get possessed by demons at night... I didn’t spend the night anywhere until i was a freshmen in college and moved into a dorm. I was also obsessive with food in middle school. I could only have ___ number of sodas so I wouldn’t get kidney stones.... Multiple things like that! I didn’t have Counselling until college and girl it has made a difference. Thank God for therapy!

[@sierraanne2280]

Ya it's strange, I'm not autistic but if I would've gotten assessed as a kid they 100% would've thought I was. I was OCD and had extreme social anxiety, didn't understand others, and would have sensory breakdowns with my clothes, and had stims and seizures. And I had a photographic memory as a kid and wrote in an unusual way (more old-timey british than modern). But now that time has passed, I now don't have social anxiety, understand others almost as much as the regular person, don't have sensory breakdowns, and don't stim or have seizures.

[@taredo3]

Wow, Paige I really appreciate you because I teach children who have bee diagnosed with Autisim. This sheds a lot of light on some of the situations that I encounter.

[@penpal.writer2289]

WAIT OMG... you’re telling me it’s not normal to feel like a failure although my parents always tell me I’m not?? I’m just always feeling as if I’m disappointing them bc they’re telling me I’m smart and they’re like: chill, everything’s fine and I’m like NO I AM A DISGRACE, I HAVE TO DO BETTER

[@pickledmagnolia]

For me (not autistic but i have adhd), I was put in the gifted program early on so I always felt like I had to live up to the image of a super smart gifted child. My parents were always super proud of me, so I wasn't *negatively* pressured by them to do well academically, but I did feel like I had to keep that "perfect angel child" reputation to maintain their pride in me. Even when adhd started to make school difficult (though I didn't know adhd was part of it back then, we thought it was just depression), they would express that they don't care what my grades are as long as I do what brings me joy, but I'd still feel so much guilt and shame because I was losing that sense of being extraordinary or special compared to other kids... like if I didn't even excel in academics anymore, then what did I have left? There was nothing else I felt I could be *perfect* at and I was/am a huge perfectionist. Don't know if that's all relatable or not haha

[@jjupiter_nwn]

​@@pickledmagnolia Oh my god you just defined my life in one paragraph. My parents cared more about my grades though, but not as much I guess? Still it's gotten worse with time, not gonna lie. BUT OMG everything makes SO MUCH SENSE and I don't know if I should look into this cause maybe it's a normal thing, idk x'd

[@boubou_721]

@@pickledmagnolia So relatable. And I don't even think it has something to do with having ADHD, autism or else (I'm saying this because I don't to my knowledge). If you are good in school when you are a child, if everybody around you always tell you that you are sooo intelligent, then you can't help but feel that you must not let them down. But for me, the worst part about that is the more I grow up, the less intelligent I feel. Everyone around me tell me that I am, but I'm like "How can you say that if I don't know how to do this? If I have this grade? If this person is better than me at this specific something?". Intelligence is such a complicated thing to quantify. How do you decide someone is smart? In my case, I am probably just good at academic stuff, but I am pretty dumb when it comes to other things.

[@arostea]

@@pickledmagnolia ah yes, being put in the gifted program in 1st grade damaged us all.

[@senorita302]

Same !! 100% relate to perfectionism!

[@allyfleetham3247]

I cannot sleep without a movie, youtube video, podcast etc. playing in the background. I will lay awake for hours if I don’t have it

[@nicocorneillie31]

I have this aswell!

[@niftythegoblin]

That's actually why I'm here lmao this is tonight's interesting KZbin video to help me sleep

[@kianabrigham4458]

I do this but only with a fan. I need a fan, even in winter. I need it for the noise though.

[@Softboii.Connor]

Same here. I either listen to a specific playlist or the rocketman soundtrack

[@xiomayriediaz7338]

I can’t sleep without ASMR

[@ErutaniaRose]

I used to LOVE reading, but school literally ruined it for me. I was not allowed to read what I wanted because it was either "Too many pictures" or "Too many words" for my grade level... I was reading shark or ancient Egypt eyewitness books, and tried to read the cat warriors series. To this day I get physically scared to read and feel guilty for liking something I have read--like mangas or historical novels. And, I am really trying to fight the trauma and get my love for it back bit by bit. I probably would have been obviously hyperlexic if I had not been traumatized into not reading at all. I was the kid who attempted my bro's college-level reading when I was in 3rd grade (8 years old) and understood a good half of it. And this was in spite of needing reading glasses and having language processing issues. I still wanted to read and I still wanna keep trying! Edit: The stuffed animals and objects being personified thing...yes. Just...my childhood lol. I would apologize to BLADES OF GRASS I accidentally plucked wrong or hit too hard and bent. I would even ask permission to sit on the grass, because I thought that even if the grass could not speak, there was a grass goblin that lived underground and would drag me under if I wronged the grass. I would also just get on my knees and pray if I accidentally hurt my cat or even just bonked them.

[@lolmermaids]

Hey! I had the same issue with never peeing as a kid! I would get tons of UTIs as well. For me, I always had something I wanted to do more than pee. So I'd rather play or something, and normal bodily functions took a backseat.

[@ohhmangos]

omg- me tooooo

[@lfairy6130]

Yess oh god

[@awesomeenbyperson714]

same

[@katiewompus]

😳 I JUST started the video but yes. This was a thing for me

[@kingshark2357]

I watched the video... girl... when I was a child, mom rented us a VHS tape from BlockBusters. I thought the tape had feelings. I felt the tape and it was cold. So I put it in front of a mini heater we had and I melted the tape. I was so distraught. But even more upset because I got in big trouble about it lmaooooo 😭

[@jamiesmallwood4075]

The thing about not being able to sleep unless the others were awake watching something or whatever, was a serious issue for me! Never thought about it this way though.

[@realradiantrei]

its the exact opposite for me lol, i cant fall asleep unless the whole house is completely dark and everyone is asleep

[@samsantos9545]

Question for Tracy: I'm 24 years old and I might be autistic. I have been scared of the possibility of getting diagnosed and having to tell my parents because they only know autism from movies and tv, so they might not believe me because I don't fit into those stereotypes. Also, I feel like they might get very defensive because they never saw the signs when I was a child :/ I wanted to know how you reacted to finding out about Paige's ASD diagnosis and how you processed and accepted this information. Thank you

[@sammierain3544]

I'm in the same boat right now! I second this question

[@cheyennefines5785]

I’m also in the process of getting a diagnosis at 24 years old! I’ve struggled with this for years. My two sons are also on the Spectrum and when I sought for them to get diagnosed, I realized that I do a lot of the same things that each of them do. My sons are my inspiration!! They have truly opened up my eyes to acceptance and have motivated me to come to terms with who I am. Everyday I take it one step at a time. ❤️

[@ohhmangos]

When I was contemplating asking my parents to get me tested for ADHD/ADD i thought the same thing. Luckily my parents were supportive. The best thing to do is get tested if your worried since you know yourself better than anyone and if your parents can't handle it- it isn't your fault. Remember that.

[@585Courtney]

I'm almost 25 and feel the same way

[@meridsle6765]

I’m 18 and now wondering if all of my childhood behavior issues (some of them still being a part of me) were actually because of autism and not just from trauma.

[@averidanielle6644]

For Paige: I was diagnosed with autism in my twenties and everyone just thought I was a super weird kid. Most of these things were my things. For mom: my mother is very much against my autism diagnosis. What would you recommend I tell her so that she stops devaluing something that has made me feel so understood?

[@ZairaBandy]

why would he go against the diagnosis? is just a condition. Like you are who you are, this things are not going to change, having a diagnosis is just having the name of what is happening and will continue to happen to you. knowing this will allow you to live freely because now you know what is up to you.

[@pickledmagnolia]

What exactly does your mom worry about with using the autistic label? You'd want to guide your approach around her main concern. My mom thought that labelling myself with an ADHD diagnosis would make me feel bad about myself or like a helpless victim of the illness, and she said I should just work on time management and emotional regulation without the "ADHD" label. So I explained to her how having this label to my struggles feels validating and comforting, and finding communities of other people with adhd helps me feel less alone, plus I can learn techniques that are specific to the way my brain works (like accounting for issues with object permanence and memory). Over time she's realized more how it's helped me so now she's more comfortable with my diagnosis (actually, now she tells me she thinks she has it herself!)

[@annas.8902]

@@ZairaBandy I don't know about her mother but my mother thinks it's an excuse.

[@julia-qp1wb]

15:53 “whats an 85, an A plus?” *cries in american*

[@sofetchxx]

FOR REAL 😂

[@alanamaria1273]

I’m not autistic but the food thing is literally me. I HATE when my food mixes sm. Like when the juices from one thing touch another I physically cringe.

[@kierkier6388]

same

[@bumblebee6732]

Oh my god same, and people judge me so badly for it bothering me.

[@m.l3483]

@Jessica Wilson that is ME as a kid!! My mom finally got me to eat rice when she made them into little rice balls! Wonder if that would work for him?! 🤔😊

[@iwahha973]

Yeeah i do this too, sandwichs and soups were a nightmare, now the situation is a bit better

[@Dannythedinoxd]

Same

[@eliadore7003]

I always refused to share my room or have guests sleep in MY bed or bedroom. My parents still forced me thinking I was just being selfish. But it still hurt today that someone slept in my bed 10 years ago. Anyone else? I also walks on my tiptoes and could read before starting kindergarden :)

[@penpal.writer2289]

I even don’t like people sitting on my bed! And if they have to then at the end of it where my feet are when I sleep haha

[@lovislindquist7185]

This is the first time I've heard that someone also couldn't fall asleep after their parents went to bed!

[@sarahradis8453]

My daughter was diagnosed a month ago, she is five and she does all most all the stuff you are talking about. It is great to know that she is not the only one. Thanks so much for sharing all of this to the world

[@vee773]

I’m 14 and being tested for Autism, Here are some of my symptoms :) : Sensory issues (loud noises and materials, cat washes are a nightmare) Walk on my top toes ALOT Personifies objects Always ahead in reading, English etc. Meltdowns Oddly strange memory (I can remember the most random details from ages ago) Struggle with speaking to new people/people in general (not sure if that’s a symptom or not but) Have to listen to something to go to sleep Collect things (I still have a shit ton of teddy bears under my bead because I’m ‘emotionally attached’ to them) Wear the same clothes for a longer time (not under wear and all that nasty sht) Eating the same foods repeatedly then just getting sick of them after a while of eating them Touching things evenly. When I’m walking home I’ll count my steps on each slab of like stone if yk what I mean and it HAS to be even Dealing with change is a NO I will straight up just cry and cry This was pretty pointless but yw

[@natural91LC]

I do the exact same things. I still am attaché sto my stuffed animals and toys. And I’m 29! 😯

[@salfordnurse]

When you mentioned being at school, when you were talking about seat changes and said “since I have zero friends, how am I supposed to find out which people want me to sit in their little squad group” I felt like I’d been hit in the stomach, reminded me so much of me at school.

[@InvisibleRen]

My mom told me she thought I was just "peculiar, sensitive, difficult." She worked with autistic kids but never thought I was autistic until I became and adult and seemed similar to Sheldon. What did your mom think was up before you were diagnosed?

[@cd4536]

I got that a lot too. Oh you're just like Sheldon or you're a Sheldon. I don't know how helpful that character is given that the whole show is centered on making fun of him.

[@rizoldak4594]

My mom called me "overly-sensitive" and told me I was an "instigator." She's right that I would start crap with my sister all the time, but it was because she was WRONG and DUMB and NEEDED TO DO IT MY WAY.

[@ludovicariccardi6201]

Same thing. My mom and aunt work with disabled children and never thought I could be even if I showed clear signs ahahahah.

[@kathrinkaefer]

When I got diagnosed as an adult my mum said "oh yeah we did think you might be autistic but we never bothered to have you tested". Me: You WHAT??!!!!!!

[@aimeelllmckenna3745]

I'd love to know more about masking. I have a son with autism and I want to bring him up not feeling the need to mask, as much as I possibly can. I'd love your opinion on this xx

[@isabellemay7400]

That’s really sweet of you, trust me he’s going to appreciate it a lot one day :)

[@cornflake6877]

My mother brought me up and encouraged me to mask and “mix” with others as well as I could. She thought she was helping but it really didn’t work or help at all! It’s so good that you’re trying to help your son to not feel the same way

[@aimeelllmckenna3745]

@@isabellemay7400 thank you for saying that xx

[@aimeelllmckenna3745]

@@cornflake6877my son is 2 years old and so this is all new to me and his dad. We are from Ireland and ABA has not been mentioned through all his referrals and I'm concerned we have a health system that just uses a different name for it so I'm trying to steer clear while picking up help that's useful at the same time ( SLT, OT) Being nerotypical, Im nervous that I won't see masking for what it is because I am not autistic. I can't control every situation but if I could at least make him fell free to be his autistic authentic self at home I would be happy x

[@cornflake6877]

@@aimeelllmckenna3745 I am irish too! I’m sure you’re doing amazing :)

[@emokitten5394]

Thank you so much for sharing your journey. My daughter is 20 and recently tested for ADHD and is going to be tested for Autism in a few weeks. Watching you is like watching her. I have always known her mind works differntly, I just considered her unique. The information you have shared is beyond helpful to us. You are amazing Paige!

[@jasminejordan4187]

I'm not autistic, but the not being able to sleep if my parents went to sleep before I did is SO relatable.

[@Daniel_Paterson]

When I first started school, my teacher called my parents because I had made two or three kids cry by telling them Santa isn't real and explaining the background behind Saint Nicholas and how the presents from Santa 'appeared'. I got really frustrated they were believing straight up lies and held belief in magic and whatever.

[@jasminebevan3785]

because i had a little sister i was always taught not to say anything to other kids but i absolutely never believed in santa practically my whole childhood my mum spent trying to convince me he was real but i never understood how other kids didn’t doubt the stories so much as i did, now when i tell people this they can’t believe it which i think is really funny but i fully understand and have never heard anyone else say the same thing!!

[@dcdc139]

They didn't call my parents, but I upset a lot of other kindergarteners with my anti-santa tirades lol

[@gwelwynn]

I did the same thing in junior kindergarten omg

[@happystar7777]

I relate so much. Gifted, personifying everything to this day (I can't throw things out alone or i feel bad for it), and eating my signature sandwich every single day for years, etc etc.

[@becca147]

I'm constantly having problems with loud noises. I'm extremely jumpy and even my coworkers have noticed. It wasn't a problem when I was younger at all, but it's gotten way worse. Along with volume, there are specific sounds i can't tolerate. I can't listen to people eat or cardboard being torn.

[@majamannhard443]

I relate to it changing over time and becoming more overwhelming. I can't STAND the microwavesound and the sound dishes make so I always do the dishes like a fucking ninja not trying to bump anything together, new sound that has become painful is the sound of other people digging through their pockets...

[@erinsherwood4426]

This sounds like a cortisol problem

[@kindaphyco9726]

I’ve been asked so many times if I have problems at home. I don’t, I’m just incredibly jumpy at loud noises because they hurt half of the time

[@HistoryNerd808]

Yep. I'm the same way, even now. Especially if it's a noise I'm not expecting like someone opening my door without knocking. The biggest particular sound I hate is styrofoam. Makes me cringe just thinking about it.

[@ihopeicanchangethisnamelat7108]

I’m not autistic (that phrase is going to be autorecommended to me so much after commenting on this video) but I really like the sound of the cardboard tubes used for PE to store the target mat things for boules and kurling, they’re made of solid cardboard and they have plastic lid things on the end, and when you take the lid off one end, take the target mat out and hold it perpendicular to the floor then hit the end with the lid still on it on the floor and it makes a really cool echoey humming sound, it’s the best thing about learning kurling. A bit random, but the comment was about noise and I kind of connected that to the cardboard tubes.

[@madison216]

My daughter is 4 and she hoards everything! She also carries a purse or bag or lunch box or whatever she can packed different things. Toothbrush, rocks, always rocks, toys, food, any other item she can grab!

[@OnlyMusic16]

I'm 27 years old and just now starting to explore my many many "weird" childhood traits and what they actually mean. I still haven't fully accepted an Autism diagnosis but wow it's kind of jarring how many of these things I considered normal that are not normal. People used to joke about me being "the princess and the pea" because of how extremely sensory sensitive I am to EVERYTHING. I used to feel sorry for my childhood self but I appreciate videos like this that can normalize what I used to think was wrong with me. Thank you

[@sweetnothingacnh]

okay maybe I should talk to my therapist because this perfectly describes my childhood

[@riley2280]

If you do talk to her, tell me how it goes because I wanna tell mine

[@nicoleparm667]

i also wanna tell mine but i’m SCARED

[@becca_rose_x]

She literally said a disclaimer not to take the video completely seriously as facts. Some of these things in the video are completely NORMAL things children do!!!!

[@becca_rose_x]

@@nicoleparm667 stop being scared... it’s literally normal natural things a lot of children do!

[@Abby-kp7yg]

Dont u think ur therapist would notice if ur autistic. Lol. The reason u relate to this video is because this girl is normal, most people in the comments are too

[@nicolejclarke]

Yes my daughter sits in her chairs lol. same spot. same chairs.

[@SuperNovaJinckUFO]

7:53 This! Every food has an essence, or what I call "juice" that stays permanently attached to the utensil, even if it's clean (it has to be thoroughly washed a specific way in order to get rid of the juice). Juices aren't allowed to mix.

[@natashagarza2889]

For mom: My Hispanic family is always telling me the tantrums are because “you don’t discipline her”. Did you receive criticism for the way she behaved from outsiders? How did you handle it?

[@aimehring]

Oh my god, all of this, but the perfectionism thing especially!! I’m the exact same way! My mom was always proud of everything I did and never forced me to be perfect, but I NEEDED (and still need) to be perfect for some reason. I actually did the same thing you did with sports as well lol! I quit them immediately if I wasn’t good at them (the stress of competition and sensory overload aspects of sports also contributed, but it was mostly the fact that I sucked at the sport.) I had no idea at all why I’ve always been such a rigid perfectionist until I started researching autism. I’m pretty sure it’s a part of that black-and-white mindset that I have because of autism. So I either completely ace everything, or I’m a failure; there’s no grey area for me. Even when I tried to tell myself that all that matters is that I’m doing my best, it just never worked and I still felt like a failure. It was so hard for me to accept that this is just how my brain works, but some peace has come with knowing what’s causing my perfectionism now and that it’s not my fault.

[@KaliReadwin]

Wow, we have so many experiences in common, including hyperlexia overlap! You maaaay now be my special interest until I finish all of your videos

[@beckyls9068]

Paige I've enjoyed your videos. I was recently living with my relative who is autistic. I wished I would have known more as it had alot of stressful days.I think your doing a great job of advocating and I think the sky is the limit to what a blessing you are and will be in the future!!!!!

[@elizabethbriggs492]

Oh, my god. I've been suspicious I'm autistic for a year, found your accounts two days ago, but the being the last person awake made me TERRIFIED as a kid. Such an unearthly feeling to me being awake in a house that was asleep.

[@brandimcgriffadams4503]

I get every single thing you mentioned, so -SAME. I am completely stunned. No one has ever understood me, but you basically explained me to me.

[@compitioncheermusic]

This made me want to cry because there’s so many things that are so me

[@izzybroomxx4983]

brooo same

[@sam46653]

I’m aready 5 minutes in and so far i can relate to most of it. I’m autistic and i was diagnosed 6 months ago and things from my childhood, i’m like “how did nobody see that i was”! I, for sure, have always had hoarder tendencies. I had a sketchbook i filled with wrappers bc i couldnt get rid of them, and i still have things that have too much meaning to give away. Also with the “hold your shorts” thing, it reminded me of how i used to wave high and bye. I would mirror what others were doing to me so i waved backwards with my palm facing me

[@michellel1383]

My daughter will be 7 in a month. She was diagnosed with ADHD this past year, and we recently found she has sensory processing things going on, too. A psychological evaluation found her high likelihood of ASD. We actually had an ASD evaluation this past year, also, but the doctor was like, "she's making eye contact and speaks very well, so it's not ASD." I never trusted that evaluation.... SO MUCH of what you're sharing are behaviors we see in her. The favorite (for lack of better word) chair, the memory, the schedule/routine, meltdowns, food touching, different forks for each food thing... the list goes on. Thank you so much for sharing your experiences. It was helpful for me, her mom, and I think it will be helpful to my daughter one day, too. Everyone feels better knowing they're not alone and they're understood :)

[@gtgaming1534]

i’m not autistic but i ALWAYS sit in the same spot (idc abt the chair) at the dinner table and when my mom tried to switch i almost cried 😌also i have the same issues with food touching it’s DISGUSTING

[@alyssa4157]

as someone with pretty severe OCD, there's a lot of this im just like yeah same

[@Aryat51]

Yes. Especially with the bathroom thing. I used to HATE the sensation of pooping and so I just wouldn't until my parents forced me and I became extremely constipated multiple times 😃

[@beesshouldntfly]

Thank you for doing this video Paige. I was crying because for once I heard someone describing all the things I was going through my whole life. I used to get severely bullied for just the way my brain is wired and I thought I was broken since no one else around me ever made me feel normal. Thank you for making me feel valid with everything that made me feel crazy growing up.

[@kalieclarkxx]

1. i didn’t realize that being hyperlexic was a thing until i started learning more about myself and being autistic. i literally taught myself how to write in cursive before i started kindergarten and was reading at a college level by first grade. i also was told that i had to learn to “bE nOrMaL” and i too can confirm that i have been bored ever since 2. i have literally always had to carry a bag of things with me everywhere. i’ve gotten better at it, but it’s always been a bit excessive. it has ALWAYS made me so freaking anxious to not have anything with me. obviously as i’ve i’ve gotten older, there has been stuff that i actually have to carry with me, but even when i was really little- i *had* to bring xyz with me. why? just because. i literally don’t know what to do with myself if i don’t have anything with me (whether it’s a security thing or to have something to distract myself with or to have stuff for “just in case”/“worst case scenario” situations)

[@ariannanotgrande381]

The key reason I think I'm autistic and not borderline is, my issues started as a kid. Yet I barely have any memories from when I was a kid I remember feeling like there was something different about me and I remember my mom getting upset because I would say I have all these things (I was like 7) she just didn't understand. I remember thinking about myself negatively at such a young age and I look back and wonder what a 7-year-old could have been insecure about, being 7 should be the best time of your life. Now (I'm 14) I look back and I hate what I remember I hate my childhood, and I can't dicifure if that's because of trauma or autism. I just want people to stop overlooking my problems and listen, I may not know why I'm like this but I know how it feels and it's so hard.

[@jerainnium682]

I found it curious when you told the story of needing your parents to stay up until you fall asleep. My guess is it's the noise...How do you cope with silence? Maybe it's the need for auditory stimulus while you're awake.

[@selina3532]

i actually had this with my parents too, but only when i slept in their bed. i didn't even need to hear them, but if my mom started snoring i would feel really upset. this actually happens with my partner too when we're together in person. i wonder if it's related to object permanence?

[@cassierennoldson3185]

My eldest is autistic & he told me he likes to hear me ‘do things’ when he’s in bed. So i leave the washing up etc until he’s asleep & i run the dryer at night so he can hear that too. He says he doesn’t feel safe if it’s silent. Where as i’m the opposite, i prefer silence especially for sleeping. My spouse has the fan on & it makes my skin crawl hearing it buzzing & feeling the air on my face

[@bridgetuphoff5225]

My son is 22 and was diagnosed really early. About age 2. A lot of the things you've mentioned he did regularly as a child. He collected things for sure. I would find things hidden under his pillow, including garbage. He is still obsessed with Pokemon and Sonic the Hedgehog and knows everything about both. He has an extremely sarcastic sense of humor witch is fun. He hates change. His face never shows emition. I could go on and on about things that were unique about him when he was little.

[@caiimitchh]

Okay this is crazy I feel like I identified with every single one of these in my own way. I'm currently going through the process of being diagnosed and I've never felt this understood, ever. Thank you for sharing your heart

[@Kizzy_Is_Dizzy]

Does anyone else still carry a bag around with stuff to help them calm down or distract them?

[@SophiiLuca]

Yes, in my backpack I use for school... But that's because i don't go outside unless I have to go to school. People think I'm wierd since I'm 18 and keep to myself that much. The stuff in the bag helps handling the only social interactions I have to have.

[@jennifernybergpixie7958]

Yes. I have a backpack purse.

[@adriannedavison2159]

So many things... Lol

[@franchesqua-levi]

Me!

[@hollybramhall1351]

almost every time I go out I have a bag in which I have the book I’m currently reading, a journal (with a mechanical pencil and two pens in the pocket of the cover I made), maybe a sketchbook, and a bottle of water

[@pajunkissoja]

Omg I also used to carry around a Bag Of Things™ as a kid! It mostly consisted off of library books, and I had a really weird way of reading multiple books at the same time, and I had to read a certain amount of pages before I moved into the next book, then the next, always in the same order. Imagine a 10 year old kid carrying around a bag that had around 4-6 books EVERYWHERE. That was me :D It also had sudokus in it. I still have my bag, though nowadays I have integrated it into my regular bag. Or should I just say that I integrated the "normal stuff" into my Bag of Things™..? Anyways, I can't go anywhere without my nonograms or my noise canceling headphones I use for listening to audiobooks.

[@peachyanna1906]

This was me!!! I would read like 500 pages a day but never in the same book it was always like multiple books I didn’t want any of my books to feel left out so I’d just read them simultaneously.

[@TheActualJeffery]

1: Yes omg, I do this all the time 2: Yes. Not exactly this but I take things so literally 3: I don’t really eat, I don’t experience hunger a lot. 4: I can also recall things, and my teacher and parents call me a genius, I was reading chapter books at grade 1(2) 5: I hoard everything. Everything is important and has a memory to it! I feel this all the time. 6: I don’t exactly wear dresses, but I’m Very Very VERY picky about my clothes. 7: OMG I WALK ON MY HEELS TOO, I DO THIS ALOT STILL. 8: No. I have trouble brushing my teeth, it’s a sensory issue for me 9: I’m picky about my food. I hate it when people mix food, or mix utensils. I love salads though, but only if it’s leaves and croutons. 10: MELTDOWNS, ALL. THE, TIME. I HAVE MELTDOWNS WHEN SOMEONE MOVES MY STUFF AND I DONT KNOW WHERE IT IS THIYYGH AAAA Oh my god and I Hate when people change things, I’m like WTH WE NEED A PLAN I CSNT DO THIS 11: NO LOUD NOISES. I’m a loud person but anything other then myself scares me. Like absolutely scares me. 12: Sleep problems, yes. I do this oh my god I’m like, wth please don’t leave me. I got over it by putting a dim light in my room 13: Collections, I have Rock collecttionssssssssssssssssssss for daaaayyyyyzzzzzzzzzzzz. I barely look at them tho. 14: FUCK I DO THIS ALL THE TIME. FOR ME IT WAS LIKE 2:15? 15: I’ve had five or six before i was 9, and I did this a lot when I was 8 16: It was a specific Color of shirt. A green type. 17: I hate it when seats are changed, I always sit in the same place. 18: Perfectionist with certain things like smoothies, and tests. I legit sounded like I was like, AAaAAAAAaaaaAAAA 19: I touch everything, 20: It confuses me when people have different points of views, and it geniunely frustrates me. 21: Certain things I will bring with me. I don’t do this anymore but I would bring things I thought were important and would be upset that I left them

[@thsisntwndrlnd]

"Better with rules than with options! Don't give me options." definitely felt that deep inside 😂🔥💜

[@juanvalenzuela1418]

You've stolen a smile from my face, I simply did cherish when you basically told your teacher she was an ignorant and naive right in her face if she truly believed Bell had invented the telephone ;) ( Edison was also one of the biggest plagiarisers ever !) I actually did the same when being 10. You made my day

[@Magalicious4508]

Why did I do the same thing in 3rd grade jaja. My mind was blown, like this man really had the whole world believe he invented something he did in fact not! My little brain couldn’t believe liars like that existed, I never believed my teachers after that thus began my “doing my own research” rule

[@kyttynkross1121]

"I know where everything in my room is. But I don't have object permanence. If you move things around, *I don't know if I own anything*." That... suddenly explains a lot of my issues. The way you phrased this just hit me so hard it hurt and I nearly cried. I've never been able to articulate or explain my issues with other people cleaning or touching my things. But this issues was one of the biggest fights me and my mother had when I was younger. And now I think I understand it a little better. I HATE when other people clean things or don't clean them "the right way." And I'll have to go back over it to redo it. It's not that I'm a neat freak - I am waaaay not; I'm very messy. But certain things have a place and if you're going to "clean" those things need to be put where they belong, otherwise -- do they even exist? How will I find them if they aren't where they go? Other people's thought processes and perceptions often baffle me. HOW do you think differently? How does that thought process even make sense? This is clearly the only logical answer to the situation, how did you come to the subpar idea you've got there that really only created more problems for you? Did you not think about the pros and cons and how to even manage this idea? I can tell you now that this isn't going to work. that's dumb. you're dumb. BAG OF THINGS!! I have a bag of things that I started toting around when i was like 5. There are several activities to do; some are for entertainment, some are for distraction, some are soothing, some are just to look busy. But I never know which one i will need while I'm out, so i have to take them all with me. This included notebooks, pens, markers, nail clippers, reading books, portable video games, card games, fidgety toys, coloring books, at least one (but probably 2 or 3) crochet or knitting projects. Also utility things, like snacks or gum because I am hungry but there isn't anything i want to eat nearby, and nail clippers and a file, scissors and a pocket knife, several chapsticks -- including one sealed, incase a friend needs one, and menstrual products. A plush or blanket or safety jacket for comfort. spare socks and gloves and a hat. Sometimes spare shoes. Tea sachets and drink mixes. A wad of spare cash. When I wore contacts, I always brought an extra unopened pair, extra solution and a case, and my glasses. If I put on make up, I have a little bag I use to take the stuff I used with me, to touch it up later. A set of eating utensils: fork, spoon, knife, and chopsticks. Cough drops. a small travel bottle of pills with 3 different types of pain killers and my 2 different daily vitamins. Sticky notes. And this is just some of the stuff I deliberately put in my everyday work bag, and not any of the junk that it just accumulates over time. And I've tried to slim it down, but I can't. Because what if I need it? And I don't mean need like want, but like need like NEED it? Like, I need it or I'm going to shut down and dissociate, because I can't handle anything right now and the one thing that could have soothed me is now longer with me? But because of this, I am very particular about my bags. They have to be a certain size with a certain set up and a certain number of pockets and dividers. And I will use one until it falls apart and becomes unusable. Because I hate transferring bags. Something always gets left out until I need it. And then i have to fight with my adhd to remember to put it in the bag later. I always wondered if bag of things habit was more adhd, autism, or trauma coping? But I think it's just a bit of it all. I learned at a young age that I needed help regulating myself, even if I didn't realize that's what I was doing.

[@kweeka7479]

As a child, when we drove home at night, I would fall asleep. A lot of driving on the 401. Once that blinker came on, when we hit the off ramp, it would wake me up, and I felt like it was the end of the world, because my parents made it quite clear, I was too heavy to carry into the house.

[@adriannedavison2159]

This!!!! 😆😆😆😆

[@emceeunderdogrising]

My daughter wants me to carry her every single night to bed. She's huge now. But she's still so adorable when she says please carry me dad. I'll probably keep doing it until I need back surgery. For sure.

[@graceperreault6198]

@@emceeunderdogrising my dad carried me until he couldnt pick me up anymore (8th grade) 🥺 ur daughter will never forget how loved, comfortable, and safe she feels when you carry her

[@emceeunderdogrising]

@@graceperreault6198 That's totally the emotional response I get from her. Smiling ear to ear happy as can be. She always tries to sneak back to the living room so I'll carry her twice. She just turned 6. I'll remember what you wrote and try to carry her as long as I can.

[@rivermourafujii8444]

I’ve started therapy recently and she thinks I have autism, right now I can’t get tested but I’ve started researching about it. I don’t feel alone anymore and seeing that other people do the same things as me also helps

[@bowiechicke]

The whole ‘have food separated’ thing really resonated with me. I once used my tea mug (which my dad put it in the spot where my coffee mug goes. Not his fault. He did not know and was putting the dishes up for me because I was sick) for my coffee instead of my coffee mug. It threw my whole day off. It’s like everything kept going wrong. Not sure if it’s an autistic thing. I do not have an official diagnosis for autism. I also had a collection of snow globes and clowns as a kid. It’s all in boxes now. I think all the time about why did I collect those but I can’t bring myself to get rid of them for some reason. I was also in advanced classes until high school doing work 2-3 years ahead of my grade level.

[@TronBBX]

Hello im autistic i follow u on tiktok u inspire me and have saved me from stress and anger and for that u r the best person in the world thank you so much ⚡️⚡️⚡️⚡️✨✨✨✨✨

[@alicianorris9352]

3:20 reminded me that when my 8yr-old was in kindergarten & was being a bit disruptive (his teacher always handled it amazingly & she was great), told him to wait outside & she'd come talk to him in a minute. He literally went outside to the playground & started playing. 🥰 I'm sincerely glad of how that elementary was built; to where most doors to outside only led to the playground & actual outside doors stayed locked. 🙉

[@Damnationization]

You are smarter than most people in social media who speak for an entire group of individuals. I have also been to Daren Lake a few times, but it's been years.

[@MrPescaderoed]

YES, yes , and yes. I knew I was different than others by 5. Told I was dyslexic, had undefined learning disabilities, etc, but never given a diagnosis. Realized by 8 that I was smarter than most adults and started answer tests with answers they "expected" to appear normal. By 12 I was focusing on calculating the many possible courses of humanity through time. With a 144 IQ I just tell people what they want to hear, and often just manipulate the direction of reality around me. People that "know" me think I'm egotistical, but I'm just fulfilling my part here.

[@bexwyke4794]

1000% with almost all this.