Reaper's Creek: Onision wrote the ballad of 2020

[@sadrabbit53]

For Onion "literature": Dissections: Krim and Teya (StrangeAeons) Shitertainment: Pooky (you are here), Kappa Kaiju, Morges, Alizee Shitertaining dissections: Noble Lucy, Tater Tatiana Audiobooks: Jordan Barclay Be free, my fellow Onion Choppers. Edit: onion didn't deserve your fanart.

[@hujan1744]

Plus Krimson Rouge, who did hours long reviews on all 3 books, just to add to the list. Edit: Ok, i wrote this before she mentioned him, so if that's why you didn't have him there, i understand.

[@KamenRiderFeline]

Also, if you reallly *reaaaaally* need to know about the fourth book, mörges covered it and it is *very* NSFW.

[@KamenRiderFeline]

@@cassinihy God is deaaaaaad... Yup, it's been out since this May and it's worse than a week old roadkill in texan summer.

[@RinitaChan]

Plus MichaelLeroi for a much funnier reading than Onion deserves.

[@sadrabbit53]

@@hujan1744 KrimsonRogue is the "Krim" I mentioned. My bad 😅

[@CombustibleCake]

_sees shoutout to krimson rogue AND strange aeons_ ah, i see you are a penguin of culture

[@Ostentatiousnessness]

I mean, we already knew she was a classy penguin.

[@moomyung9231]

I came here from KrimsonRogue who I first found through Cynical Reviews, lol.

[@underatbr2212]

@@moomyung9231 ......noooo not Empress T that is the only thing I know of that has both of them in it

[@Doctor__Star]

@@moomyung9231 Literally my pathway as well. From angry British dog to American king on his throne of books to Canadian(?) Penguin And yes, Moomyung, It was through Empress Teresa.

[@thehermit8618]

Onion: "This is just me, who i was and what really happened at the time this story takes place" Also Onion: "And then me, the 6ft tall aryan Chad with a vegetarian body and sharp jawline, and my incredibly sexy clone finally killed God who totally has daddy issues and i totally got the girl and then my dad didn't leave and i was very cool and badass and everyone at the store clapped. The end "

[@reviewman]

I would have gone with super sayian wannabe, but aryan works i guess

[@artyomsaveli9681]

Pretty much that in a shell nut.

[@BigPuddin]

"I can bench press a million pounds despite having the physique of a lamp post due to eating nothing but Wheat Thins and blueberries."

[@aporue5893]

what on earth......

[@velvetsparrow]

kzbin.info/www/bejne/nJaWl36ohbSmbac

[@mungus4246]

Shout out to Pooky for ALMOST making Reaper's Creek make sense.

[@GameTavern2224]

It's really goddamn weird how Unions book only goes backwards in effort. Stones to Abigail was the "best" outta his books and by that I mean the one you can stomach. James was tolerable Then we got to "This is Why I Hate You" and oh man did I despise Arthur. So glad he is dead. Honestly I hate that book the most out of all three But this is like all the concept story boards for a God of War game but worked on by a coke addicted orangutan

[@yokaitoybox7649]

Gotta admit, she did a better job than the AUTHOR

[@reviewman]

ALMOST.

[@zscout1288]

I am excited to watch this now as I have watch countless people try to come close yo making sense of this and fail

[@thequeenofcringe1585]

The fact that she was able to do that is a feat on its own

[@Anna-tk7ui]

He took his daddy issues so far as to project them onto God himself. I just-- I don't have any words anymore.

[@GameTavern2224]

I do. It's all of Greg's horrid writing strategies in a book you can tell there isn't a lick of planning in it

[@witnessfox3509]

Hilarious?

[@loganwendigo937]

This book feels like a look into Onion’s head and I HATE IT.

[@thegeneralpopulace8513]

Not just this one ,ALL of his books are like a terrifyingly sad look into his mind . He can't even keep his IRL name(s) out of his self-insert fanfiction half of the time.

[@jojol.2630]

Man, who else could write a book where you fight and kill god and it’s boring??

[@irdiseddere7752]

Not you, him. It's all him. The guy is textbook narcissistic on top of all terrible things. Also yeah his books suck.

[@kcorphan308]

The guy that wrote Empress Theresa could. He would not because he's fixated on his character being a good girl who everyone wants to bang, but he's at that level of god powered character crstion and crappy writing.

[@ArchieRatsworth]

@@kcorphan308 I love that story. It's a 1st person perspective story of an evil selfish goddess.

[@vanroyal244]

@@ArchieRatsworth I t makes just as much sense as this book, too.

[@DemonicRemption]

@Jojo L. IKR? As someone who plays JRPGs, the prospect of fighting and killing God should not be THIS boring. But he pulled it off.

[@kenleyrhoten9033]

I'm so glad Handbook for mortals lead me to your channel

[@thehermit8618]

The only good thing to ever come from that book

[@lolrude4855]

Same

[@silverscreen842]

Same

[@aposterous4126]

Same

[@rosem4891]

This book has more "reviews" on youtube than it does unironic readers, and I think that's very sexy of us

[@Caldella]

I have a tendency to listen to Strange Aeons' and Krimson Rogue's reviews of Onion Boy's *ahem* (I suppose technically called) books pretty frequently for entertaining 'background noise,' the same way someone puts a favorite movie on while doing chores. Now I have a nice, long Pooky video to add to the list.

[@pretzel_balls]

same

[@gothicmuffinofdoom]

I do this too.

[@sarahtimberlake78]

I’m glad I’m not the only one 😬

[@tiacat11]

Same here! I listen to it as I'm falling asleep every night. The background noise helps

[@thenamelessghuleh]

Those serve as a large portion of my sleep playlist. Krim’s videos on and Fred Knudsen’s 3 hr. reading of Empress Theresa are worth checking out for background noise or a sleep aid.

[@koramagna]

Glowing forest animal who apparently gives super powers? So Graniel is Empress Theresa.

[@EclipseTheBirb]

oh no

[@Somefrickface]

Reaper's Creek? Ah, yes. The cp written by an alleged p-file.

[@sisyboy]

All these books are just him looking for excuses to graphically describe having sex with underage girls

[@erecbeaudoin8477]

@@sisyboy Or extremely over age, in this case.

[@obi-wan-pierogi]

Since Greg doesn’t like being told no, when he learned Deux Machinas were a writing no no and shouldn’t be done unless you know what your doing, he decided to make every action his Self Insert OC does only possible by divine intervention.

[@Danniku]

Lol Loop my kklmo look Mm l Ml to M no I'll L Lm Mk Ok kkk l All mk Km M Mk all llll mm mm o I'll. Mm . llll Am l

[@cthulhluftagn3812]

Page one "some of this is real, some imagined." Page two "I AM THE BEST AND ALIENS GAVE ME GOD POWERS"

[@Fattybobatty1224]

It’s amazing that the onion was able to create the mirror universe version of Empress Theresa.

[@moonyasnow36]

I gotta say, reaper's creek is probably my “”””favorite”””” book onion boi's made, just because of how batshit insane it is

[@reviewman]

Me too

[@voctur]

Agree

[@crowthewicked8344]

It felt like Greggory took 3 manuscripts of different books, blended them together, and called it done

[@vanroyal244]

@@crowthewicked8344 No, he took 3 manuscripts, his wet dreams, and his hate for Christianity , blended it together, then smashed it with a sledgehammer.

[@moomyung9231]

It's my bf's favorite also, because he literally kills God. You can't get more randomly OP than that.

[@lazyhammerwieldingpenguin2247]

Y'know when Graniel put blades in ladies hoo has there was at least one guy who was like, "YES FINALLY!"

[@Sophia-vk5bq]

Oh no sticks and bugs, Greg's weaknesses! Other weaknesses include: Chris Hansen, organized religion, organized sports, the truth, brain cells, monogamy, the word no, compassion, criticism, free will, paring knives, cutting boards, bathing, sanity, and the greatest enemy of them all, spellcheck.

[@ChelsbeIIs]

Don't forget locking windows (that two year olds may fall out of and get permanent brain damage)

[@stargazing_frog6079]

also we must not forget dating people of legal age and healthy relationships

[@ryngobrody1627]

Also fat people

[@NapaCat]

And: parental responsibility, sanity, mockery of his ego, Strange Aeons, KrimsonRogue, basically all reviews, and people who don't praise him.

[@dragenfire68]

Literally everything that God filed under "decent human being" what the pathetic excuse for humanity got was God's waste.

[@ALazyBat]

39:36 I’m guessing Onionboy saw the movie Teeth hence the “Vagina dentata” 😅

[@kcorphan308]

😳...Buwuh? Man, you were NOT kidding about the low hanging fruit. I have learned so much from this. Like, what even is the point of cohesion, pacing, or structure when there is author ego to sustain the narrative? Also that entire book sounds was like a 30 year old telling a story of a 11-16 year old from the perspective of a six year old. "I had this one friend and I don't like my family or religion. And then there were aliens- and then there was a bully but he died- and then I had a girlfriend and we did kissing and stuff, and then there were more aliens- and by the way I have a heart thing and I always fall over- then this guy did a bad thing and so I beat him up real good... but then more aliens came and they were sent by God because he was jealous of me- and there was super huge explosion and I was awesome!" ...Wait a minute, God raped and murdered His sister? Is the implication here that Graniel is their incest baby?😨

[@KeganLeavess]

An hour long video made by Pooky!? And it's about one of Onision's god-awful books!? AND IT'S REAPER'S CREEK!? Pooky! You spoil us!!!

[@Tareltonlives]

I love how each review of this book is different- this is definitely best in terms in visuals. Stick figures are all this book deserves, and yet can capture the rich insanity of this book

[@wyldhorn2277]

"like i said times a bastard and we are just all along for the ride babyyyy" i randomly skipped to this part of the drunk recording and im laughing my ass off

[@PuppetBoy.]

This is the fifth review of this godforsaken collection of words that I've watched and I swear to the third God fragment that I learn something new and even more batshit about the narrative every time.

[@Jokoko2828]

It's because everyone focuses on something different so if you watch enough of these Onion boi book reviews you'll know the books inside out without ever having to touch them yourself.

[@robinmask1012]

I hate how every Dad in this book is evil because it reminds me of the fact that Greg himself is a dad

[@nendymion]

It's the same in all is books. Apparently any dad in any of his books are secretly or overtly evil predators. Which Ironically he has become himself or always was.

[@LinxSphinx]

I do not envy Onion Boy's kid...

[@lemonbread8019]

Damn, you didn't even do the warmup just went straight for the worst one. I can respect that.

[@kaitlynm4771]

Jesus Christ Graniel’s impulsivity makes my ADHD look normal. Like, I may buy shit I don’t need but at least I don’t snap and astral project my angst and genocide a whole shitload of people

[@aperson9576]

I gasped seeing you did a Onision greg James Jackson book. I got super excited when I saw it was the book where Greg's self insert goes off the rails and literally went full 'I am so cool and smart I"m Better than god!111!!!!" Thank you for this. also fun fact: Greg's dad had to speak out against onison's constant bashing of him. Turns out Onision literally attacked his dad at one point. Edit: Another fun fact. Kappa Kaiju made a video about it recently. And he pointed out self insert boy at 11 is stated in the book to be 5'10. Aka the kid is meant to be taller than the average man at 11.

[@irdiseddere7752]

Wow, that's really terrible. But hey the onion guy has to present himself in the best light.

[@caitlynnhatch9254]

In his second book, he says "they eat copious amounts of deserts" about justifying their running or some shit. And im like "wow. Eating all that sand has to be calorie free" (I have the first two books cause i needed to laugh. Turns out i can only laugh at then when drunk)

[@SchazmenRassir]

2:15 Aaand now I'm imagining a drunk penguin waddling around with glasses and a wizard's hat, and it's absolutely adorable.

[@Thraxraganharapollyus]

"Prepubescent meatsuit" is a term I never thought I'd hear/read/comprehend... until now.

[@ninavale.]

The thing that got me with God was when Graniel was like "Devil was just aspect of God's divided personality, like anyone's father when he was in his worst mood'. Oh Gregory...the illustrations where hilarious tho. They fitted the book somehow XD and made this nonesene much more enjoyable

[@primrosett]

Fun fact about this book; onion boy once tried to start a cult and this book is basically the basis of said cult

[@crowthewicked8344]

I guess this was his bible?

[@DemonicRemption]

@@crowthewicked8344 But I thought he was an atheist. Since when do atheists start cults and write bibles...?

[@tiraXpyrrha]

@@DemonicRemption When you're trying to groom minors and scam people out of their money, you'll do anything to have people orbit your cult of personality.

[@maskmarvin803]

@@DemonicRemption I think it has to do with his narcs and hunger for control and power, when you think about these things and put it next to his odd contrasting pair of cultism and atheism, it starts to make a whole bunch of sense.

[@lemmonboy6459]

OH BY GOD *YOU* TALKING ABOUT *THIS* “BOOK” H E L L Y E A H

[@eldrichnemo9312]

Not only is this another fun Pooky review, but many thanks for recommending both Strange Aeons and Krimson Rogue, two more channels that helped get me through pandaunbearable year 2

[@tentacleandcapitalism8191]

I think roasting onision's books are becoming trend

[@thehermit8618]

As it must be. He deserves nothing but mockery

[@sugarm1860]

Good. Let people know how bad of a writer he is, as well as how skewed his morals are

[@deadmeme902]

God I hope it does

[@lolrude4855]

I love it though

[@swimmyswim417]

The saving grace of 2020

[@spinningiris]

"A giant tree that is on a string"...best typo ever!

[@isazephyr7405]

HOLY HALLOWEEN SPECIAL 57 MINUTES!!! We are feasting tonight folks

[@voctur]

IMO this is Greg's best book It is so bizarre, over the top, convoluted and nonsensical that I find it legit entertaining, unlike his two other books.

[@cymond]

Yeah, RC is far less disturbing than the ticking time bomb in the 2nd book. I mean, this is ludicrous. An edgy, traumatized, eternally offended, misogynistic college student who hoards weapons? That's actually scary.

[@imbion6965]

I shall add this video to the collection of videos that I re-watch making fun of onyon's books at least once a month. A fine addition to my collection indeed.

[@poitboing]

I can't believe you did this twice and one of them was sober. Sweet mother of nads. Your work ethic makes mine look like a wilted houseplant.

[@poitboing]

NAH SON VAGINAL CHOMPERS

[@reviewman]

49:07 “Actually, super easy! Barley an inconvenience!”

[@illusoryVice]

A plate of spaghetti, a cup of pumpkin spice coffee, and a new upload from GenerallyPooky. It's been a good Halloween!

[@plantemor]

I never got past the fact that Saddam Hussein wrote a romance book.

[@andrewb6194]

I’m still chuckling over that!

[@moomyung9231]

I've read part of a translation...it's actually not the worst thing ever. He tried to use description and set the scene. It's sadly better than a lot of amateur writers I've read. There was some part about the moon and a starry night sky and I actually could picture it.

[@Shivwuffy]

I love that you've seen everyone else's vids on this but still also missed his 2 sentence second sister. She's an amazing non event everyone just forgets. Greggy poo included.

[@mori6434]

EVERYONE STOP WHAT YOU'RE DOING, SHE'S UPLOADED

[@miadaorerk1681]

Oh yes ever since I saw the "low hanging fruit" i knew it would be an onion book

[@noviscor226]

as one part of graniel's father, i vote we disown him

[@kaeleylyons5776]

Bumping this, I agree.

[@Necroxion]

Nietze: I wrote that the ideal man must "kill God", as a representation of a man divorcing himself from societal values to forge his own moral code, to then influence the rest of mankind with it Onision, buying replica Blades of Chaos online from his mom's basement: *BOY*

[@Jokoko2828]

The German man had his writing used and abused by people that have no idea about what he actually wants to say, it's sad really because his stuff is about as far as you can get from edgy.

[@Necroxion]

@@Jokoko2828 you know you're underrated when the entirety of Nier Automata and JoJo part 7 were based off of your work

[@baccktooblacck4498]

When I saw the notification, I got hyped for a new Handbook for Mortals episode, and then I clicked it and it's a 1 HOUR VIDEO about the onion book!! Oh boi what an unsuspected halloween treat~

[@TayRayReads]

My lord. "if I fits I sits" breadloaf Graniel is going to get me every time I decide to rewatch this. 😄 😄 😄

[@Anyratac]

Weirdly enough, this wasn’t the first movie length video production that had a plot point about vaginal teeth.

[@themerchantof1175]

Onision, the most horrifying thing on planet earth

[@whateverperson2006]

I think Onision might have stepped in alien poop at some point.

[@TheBonkleFox]

Yassssss the penguin queen is back! This is like....I think this has been the third triumphant return of a channel I've seen Edit: also I wanna say that the way greg did the mom and stepdad dirty was just disgusting because it implies greg's mind control was the only reason the stepdad was a good person. Legit disgusting. Edit 2: yo an MHA reference? hella dope!

[@amandap7733]

So the age of consent in Ohio is 16 (I looked it up just for this). Graniel is 14 and Julia is 18 and that is Statutory. Gross Onion

[@foxboxtrot9436]

Wow, this sounds like if you took out all the humor and soul from The Disastrous Life of Saiki K. AKA: Reaper's creek is the live action Netflix adaptation of The disastrous life of Saiki K...

[@oddeyes9413]

Can the aliens please come and yeet baka-onion-San into the stratosphere?

[@laurenneal7875]

How could my youtube recommendations do me so dirty and not show me this video until today

[@thequeenofcringe1585]

Where Graniel goes out of his way to go to a place with alcohol where he knows he’ll be uncomfortable, I go out of my way to not do that. Though I really shouldn’t say that I go out of my way or anything like that because it’s not hard.

[@ThatNaelis]

Freud would've had a field day with Onision's books.

[@sterlingstarlight2320]

I always come back to this video. I blame the stickbugs and their sweet moves.

[@FemboyMisa]

The Onion is a disturbing creature. None of Lovecraft's abominations unsettle me as much.

[@tuskinekinase]

Ooooh my god, we're in this for a RIDE

[@wysteriacampion353]

*scrolls through code* Graniel: this is a sims four game? Graniel: reaches hand through the screen Player in this realm: sweats

[@GameTavern2224]

Ed Edd and Eddy reference? Oh lord how I missed you. Also. I see you put more effort than you should have in these drawings than ANY of garlic bois books

[@keshagriffin3375]

Mom can we have Persona 4? No honey we have it out home Persona 4 at home:

[@koimonsterkhaos6329]

This is like AI Dungeon when it doesn't know what to do, so it keeps making you sleep.

[@AlecMader]

15:58 "The flow of time itself is convoluted." ~Dark Souls II

[@forestspirit8713]

God, I'm going to enjoy this. Edit: Enjoyed it.

[@Ostentatiousnessness]

While I love Aeon and Krimsons' _MUTILATION_ of this book (and the whole series) your pisstaking attitude towards this keeps making me laugh so hard. Thank you for that!

[@cursedcontent4207]

I feel like you should know that "Time is a bastard and we are all just along for the ride, baybeeee" is something that has deeply ingrained itself in my vocabulary and I *have* used it out loud in real life.

[@sappy_]

When I saw this pop up in my feed, I was so pumped. I can't wait for you to tear this to shreds

[@King_Nex]

I heard of a book that's almost as bad, if not worse than Reaper's Creek: Empress Theresa. It's actually pretty similar in that aliens make someone omnipotent and they remake the world.

[@ingeborg-anne]

6:44 To be fair, the Latina girl's Pooky sprite is adorable

[@reviewman]

39:36 Onision probably ripped of the movie: Teeth

[@Seiaeka]

"Hip young-adults" yo, they're like 21+. They're literally ADULTS. Barret's like 35... You'd think, being a fan of the game, he'd at least know... >_>;

[@XaxaWashington]

If it makes you feel any better, Onision is why this vid was made, and thus was in my recommended, and thus why I watched it, and thus why I subscribed.

[@swimmyswim417]

Ah, the scariest spook of them all, just in time for Halloween: Reaper’s Creek. Onion’s masterpiece.

[@cymond]

Writing idea: main character has mind control, but wants to respect free will. I had the idea watching Jessica Jones. Imagine developing the power to make people do whatever you want. At first, you'd be a spoiled, abusive child. Maybe at first, you don't even know you're doing it. Eventually, you start wanting genuine interactions. You want people to truly like you, instead of just going through the brainwashed motions. Now, you've turned over a new leaf, and you're trying to be better, but it's not easy. You slip. You say things you didn't mean to be a command. You have to learn to phrase things very carefully. You're constantly trying to deprogram the people you accidentally brainwashed. It could be an interesting concept.

[@NyanHabeny]

SCREAMED WHEN I SAW THIS IN MY RECCOMENDED. SO EXCITED TO SEE YOUR ILLUSTRATIONS OF THIS MONSTROSITY

[@yvechapman9342]

HIP YOUNG ADULTS!!!! aka paintbrush hands

[@rvrsdrox]

i tapped for blue penguin lady, but i had no idea what i stayed for. my brain just slowly... numbbed over the course of the video

[@TayRayReads]

I am cackling. This was a wonderful retelling of this awful trainwreck of a story. This art decision was awesome.

[@nevernorest8315]

Even though I've seen plenty of reviews of this I want to see the art

[@allisonf3508]

Oh the hip swiveling, the glorious hip swiveling. So mesmerizing

[@cymond]

I kinda want a gif

[@adameins5622]

Nearly choked to death on a bite of my hotdog a couple minutes ago...before the video but damn...that was crazy

[@titociiku8969]

'Rotten produce chan' had me rolling.

[@Outlawcarl]

thank you for leaving out the bodies dialog

[@starlightmellie]

the way that i've watched this like twice a day since it came out.....

[@catalinaargyriou8603]

s p o o p y

[@gothicmuffinofdoom]

32:44 is the reason I keep rewatching this. I just love this bit so much.

[@Jay-pm8tp]

wait a minute. wait a damn minute. a serial killer... from washington... named gary.... who disposes of his bodies in a creek? did... greg just write his self insert CATCHING AND MURDERING THE GREEN RIVER KILLER??

[@generallypooky]

oh my god, WHAT?!

[@tjswanson7577]

Ohhhh my god! I came over here from KrimsonRogue for your Handbook for Mortals coverage and liked your art/takes enough to stick around, but for whatever reason I never considered you covering Onion Boy's... let's call it "texts". I haven't watched this video yet, but once I get some popcorn and a drink I'm prepared to settle down for a wild ride!

[@alphapockets]

You are the divine penguin we do not deserve with these videos

[@kaitlynm4771]

Also after the umpteenth watch of this video, I’ve realized that graniel’s mom being pissy after he stops emotionally puttying everyone kind of makes sense since she was all cool with it or whatever at the beginning.

[@Mousetrap1740]

Oh no. The dreaded third in an awful trilogy. The book with literal CP. oh no.

[@thatlycantomboy]

god, dammit, this would’ve been perfect for me to watch on Halloween. I’ve learned my lesson, I’ll subscribe now

[@graywolf2241]

Onion man has reached narcissistic levels we never thought possible

[@sweetiebun1840]

Saw this in my recommended. Love this channel so far! I hope to see more!~ 💓

[@TheDanishGuyReviews]

28:47 Vanilla Surprise in Her Cooter is the name of my bubblegum pop band.