Rebuild Intimacy After An Affair: How to Overcome Sexual Trauma

[@johnsonjj117]

I find it easy in the moment to move past the sexual trauma of my wife’s affair, it’s the rest of the day that bothers me. I’ll find myself randomly looking over at her and picturing her with other men and it breaks me every time. It feels like looking at a complete stranger wondering “how could this woman do this to me”

[@ShaunyP26]

I'm sorry man. I actually feel thankful mine barely tried and made it easy to divorce her.

[@bittehiereinfugen7723]

I feel the same way. I think we have to come to terms with the fact that our partners are, to a certain extent, strangers. And sometimes treated us like strangers with whom we had no relationship. They can easily exclude us from their lives.

[@jayguy887]

So true, yet theres still moments during intimate times where I find myself pausing, freezing, and just wanted no longer to be there. When she moves differently than before. Tries new things, or does something better than before. And when questioned afterwards - not accusatory but just like, "so, what have you been watching/reading to do that?" And her responses are to brush it off or say things like, "oh, you just forgot because its been a while since I did that for you." While I'm thinking - "well in 15 years that was always a deal breaker for you, always refused it with valid reasoning. So why now?"

[@bittehiereinfugen7723]

​@@jayguy887Please please, take care of your mental well-being! I didn't do this and it did me a lot of harm. If you suddenly find yourself unable to go on during intimate encounters and freeze, stop immediately! You can communicate before, during and after, but please don't force yourself to do things that you don't feel confident about yet!

[@shareenchoudhury-leighton1748]

Can't be done! Once the trust is gone...there's no going bsck

[@cesarportillo2330]

Agree... Never stay with a cheater no matter what

[@bittehiereinfugen7723]

Just nope. I had way too much patience with my sneaky cheating husband. Sincere and honest support and care has always been a one-way street here. I don't need him or a new partner and I don't need anyone for sex. I'm happy to finally be free inside.