Recognizing ADHD in Adults | Heather Brannon | TEDxHeritageGreen

Many people feel badly about themselves and have no idea why. They just aren’t interested in opening their mail or picking up their clothes from the floor. They feel ashamed because they believe the people around them who say they’re lazy, have a serious character flaw, or-at best-are quirky. They don’t realize that adult ADHD doesn’t look like ADHD in kids, and remaining undiagnosed can make them feel anxious, overwhelmed, and powerless.
Speaker Heather Brannon, MD, draws on 14 years of experience treating adult ADHD. A family physician who has been practicing for nearly 30 years, she realized that many patients who felt overwhelmed, anxious, easily frustrated, and tired actually had ADHD and that diagnosing it correctly and treating it was life-changing for those patients. She decided in 2014 to devote her entire practice to adolescents and adults with ADHD.
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This presentation debuted during TEDxHeritageGreen 2021: TRUTH, held in three short virtual sessions on April 23, 25, and 27-visit www.tedxheritagegreen.com for more info. It was a TEDx event using the TED conference format but independently organized by a local community. Learn more at www.ted.com/tedx. A family physician who has been practicing for nearly 30 years, Heather Brannon, MD, sees adolescents and adults and is very passionate about the diagnosis and treatment of ADHD. Her interest in ADHD began when, as a primary care provider in a family practice, she realized that many patients who felt overwhelmed, anxious, easily frustrated, and tired actually had ADHD-and that diagnosing it correctly and treating it was life-changing for those patients. She decided in 2014 to devote her entire practice, Greenville ADHD Specialists, to adolescents and adults with ADHD. Heather completed her internship and residency at Womack Army Medical Center in Fort Bragg, NC, and has served as a staff physician in a combat support hospital, behavioral science curriculum coordinator, medical director of a family practice residency clinic, and chief of staff of a community hospital. This talk was given at a TEDx event using the TED conference format but independently organized by a local community. Learn more at www.ted.com/tedx

[@Christineavila1]

Anyone else with ADD listening to the video but simultaneously reading comments and thinking about what the video is saying but also have a mental response to all the comments?

[@solokom]

Nooooooooo? 😅

[@officialWWM]

Yep…as well as looking at the column on the right to see which video I’m going to watch next…

[@hailz5496]

🙃🙃🙃😄😄😄 meeeee

[@Riannajean13]

I just met Sally in the video... So yes.

[@naharinalamloba2545]

Yep

[@5coldplayhurtsfan]

that is also my problem when it comes to choosing a career, every job seems either boring or too overwhelming, there's like no in between

[@Stephanie-iz5ke]

This is exactly what I’m dealing with right now! I’m very indecisive

[@KeepinItReal632]

This 💯

[@marylhere]

I found a job that is multi tasking all day with a deadline. Seems to work for me. It’s the deadline. I need a deadline for all my daily ventures.

[@sorol79]

Oh I hear ya on that! I just twist it by saying I'm a Renaissance man! I'm adaptable.

[@Dani-ICU-RN]

I'm an Icu nurse..its NEVER THE SAME DAY, HOUR, CREW..ETC

[@firstnamenicole]

Perfectly explained. Constantly in crisis. Cannot take care of myself or my home like I should. Cannot get organized to save my life, I constantly feel behind, etc. I feel so heard 🥺🥺

[@SanctifiedLady]

Try not saying what you can’t do. Try making a list to look at every day to check unchecked areas. I have to go to my list in the morning, afternoon and before bed. My cue is when the sun goes down and I have to turn on lights in the house…it’s time for checking the list and getting my sleep hygiene set up. Lavender oil, sound machine. Clean up things I left hanging around take a shower or soak… I start this a 7pm because it takes me 3 hours to get ready for bed. When I lay down my sleep is sweet ❤

[@robertocesarborges4463]

The first time I watched this video I cried copiously; It really hit me hard. Never before had I seen such a rich and detailed description of my own life. I can relate to every little thing listed, literally every one of them. I'm 40 now, but throughout life I'd convinced myself (and been told) I was simply lazy, unfocused and even unprofessional, but now you're giving it a name, and I thank you for that.

[@cindyb3028]

Same. It’s like she was talking about me. I watched this while I was late for work because I got distracted and decided to do other things knowing I was already late.

[@jonevans870]

Also 40 here and discovering this stuff for the first time. It’s like she just described my whole life up until this point.

[@HOBOsnake]

I was lucky to know by the time I was 16. However I can't take any kinds of medication for it because I have chronic pain that stimulants make worse. Sadly, I still don't feel in control of the adhd, but I guess things take time.

[@elvispenhaligon2543]

Me too. :(

[@romulusboicu660]

37, felt exactly the same when I whatched the first time a year ago, and the same now...

[@TooLittleInfo]

It's kind of funny how listening to her describe parts of my life in detail made me realise how many coping mechanisms I put into place to deal with problems that other people don't have

[@Nicholas1994]

Right. So many things I call my personality now and just say I've changed a lot are really just things I have to do to pass. It's not really who I am or how I want to be.

[@maike__-]

Half of my coping mechanisms right now are timers I set on my phone, which explains why I've struggled much more way back when I did not have a phone or was not allowed to use it eg during school times. Now, if I didn't have my timers, I would struggle to remember any of my classes. I have timers for every single one so I can log into zoom on time. I'm worried about when my university switches back to in-person classes....

[@KosmicAura]

I had this exact realization when a psychiatrist came to a job-training I was attending, explaining to the class how to cope with the challenges of the work we are performing. She was just saying everything that I was already actively doing in order to survive. I was so disgusted to hear these "techniques" for getting through each day that I felt deeply insulted. Like, imagine someone coming up to you and teaching you how to tie your shoes.

[@michaelpayne8691]

It's a Gift!

[@fauvecorrigan1233]

@@maike__- At work, I have all my communication apps synced to one app so I get all my reminders in one place. My calendar is hodge-podge of 'To Dos' and meetings. Sometimes at the end of the day, I'm stunned at the amount of tabs and windows I have open. I don't know if it's normal, but I know people who only work on a laptop. I have three screens. Only just looking into ADHD and I'm beginning to think I might need to get tested.

[@TurtleRocker12]

I'd add in the story about Tom, he may be hiding that mail, because it still "feels" important. So while the outside observer thinks it's a simple out of site out of mind thing, Tom is haunted by that mail and it makes him sick and he's hiding something as simple as that from people who love him 😔

[@tommythompson7941]

Brilliant. "Tom is haunted, "feels" strongly and it makes him sick." That nails it. I wish my doctors at the VA had your insights.

[@alaynagould17]

I'm Tom and I'm watching this while side-eyeing where I hid a month and a half's worth of mail feeling sick and knowing I need to pay my car insurance bill. But instead of getting up and paying the bill, I'm typing a comment on youtube

[@brannon89]

That is so true. I like the word "haunted". And that's not all Tom is haunted by. There are so many people going through this every day of their lives. Hopefully in the coming years, people and the medical community will understand more so the Tom's can get some help.

[@Hunter_IRL]

Sat in my car watching this, thinking about my bag of mail.

[@annekaenglish2939]

You are so correct about that.

[@BaolinLiu-gm6fq]

At my 37 years last year, I finally figured out what is wrong with me, the shame, frustration, anxiety has tortured me since my childhood. The diagnosis is life changing!

[@Mravacadobrain]

FR❤❤❤

[@planetI911]

Is there like a supplement that can help?

[@julieovervold8931]

The same way i am haunted by my pile of mail, i am haunted by every text response i never sent, by anything i've ever borrowed and never returned (i just dont borrow things now. and if you think i forgot to return something to you, or text you back, i did not forget. i think about it every day). It's a constant list that runs through my head at all times, alongside the papers i never wrote, the degree i never finished, the kickstarter campaign rewards i never finished, the crafts intended as gifts i never finished, etc... all wrapped up in a quilt of shame and embarrassment and white lies and fear that if i told the truth of my failures people would think that i am nothing but a lazy fraud. I know i have ADHD and the worst part about it is that its so bad that i can't possibly FATHOM making a doctors appointment and getting the help i need. The voice in my head constantly telling me "you've never been able to do anything, what makes you think you will do anything now?".

[@Lee33642]

I feel the same way, getting checked today the doctors had to force me I understand you really! you should get an appointment so you can become the best version of yourself I believe in you. :)))

[@trevorroberts73]

I understand I'm in my 50s on ritalin most of my life . Nothing changes

[@iluvsoramorethanyou]

Ngl that's why I don't think I can keep going anymore.

[@Gary-tc7zx]

My wife left me and it was the kick I needed to get an appointment with my doc. My ADHD meds have changed me into the person I've always strived to be but could never be, it's truly a miracle, I can not believe the difference. I used to get overwhelmed and over think every little thing, rarely able to make a decision about anything. Mentally wore out half way through the day but always pushing to keep going. 33 years worth of shame and guilt for feeling so lazy and worthless. Get meds! You wouldn't believe it!

[@llywelynddraig853]

Sounds like classic insecurity... but that would make it your problem. Adhd makes it a woe is you problem.

[@armfart890]

"These people are living their life in crisis all the time." Me 😩🤯

[@lillylambchops]

Me

[@sorol79]

Yesss... exactly.

[@Amanda-up3wh]

Nailed it

[@marsmorg]

i say on a consistent basis that my entire life is an existential crisis so when she said that, it hit so damn hard.

[@Amanda-vc1lp]

To be honest, I'm really impressed that "Tom" put the mail in the same place each week!

[@ThingsILove2266]

Mine all goes in the same 55 gallon bucket. Oh my gosh I really hate paper!

[@Angarato86]

nah i do this too. i assign specific places for specific items, cause if i dont theyre lost.

[@BruceBanner-tm9qu]

My mail is scattered from company van, truck and random places in house.

[@Amanda-vc1lp]

@@BruceBanner-tm9qu I try really hard but I haven't found the right spot yet I guess 😅 though everything is a bit easier now that I have the support of medication

[@BruceBanner-tm9qu]

@@Amanda-vc1lp Goodluck to you. I been trying to figure out whats wrong with me since I quit drinking right at 3 yrs ago. I have some of the adhd traits like not following through, procrastination, mood swings, unorganized. It kind of feels like I use every thing I have at work and let my home life go. Its really hard to deal with life lately...... will never go back to a mental health facility. No personal physcian, Going to try to find one and hope they will work with me on trying a stimulant, cause mental healths appetite supressants and antihistimines dont help depression , anxiety and general hopelessness, Im 5'10" 135pds by the way nice measurments for super model but not a 52yr old mechanic lol

[@jennalynnnelson]

Thank you for speaking so slowly and clearly and giving us ADHDers time to process what you’re saying 🙏 🥺

[@debasishborah8636]

Same tho 😂😂😂

[@someonewithsomename]

I watch at 1.75. otherwise it's too boring

[@ripdv]

i have adhd but not like this 😅

[@Harry-gc8kb]

@@someonewithsomename me too. Now im confused. Whats the difference between ppl with adhd who need to watch the video faster, and who need to watcht he video slowly

[@oliviagrubbstrom]

Listening at 1.5 speed ;P :D

[@KayRae1221]

I’ve always explained it with this analogy: having ADHD is like your brain is a puzzle… that was dropped from the top of the Eiffel Tower… and I am at the bottom trying to put the pieces together- seeing everyone else with their puzzles put together while I am overwhelmed, anxious, and pressured with just trying to put the pieces together. When ppl react negatively to the point that ppl with ADHD don’t do things bc they aren’t interesting, it’s enraging bc I’m not just sitting here avoiding everything bc I don’t find it amusing. I’m not consciously avoiding things most of the time, it just does that. Having the right medication was life changing.

[@AurinneA]

Yes, I always find it problematic to describe it as "not interesting," because it sounds like a concious judgment rather than something out of conscious control. It makes it sound like things just need to be more jolly and colourful and suddenly they'll be interesting enough to do. The point isn't that we've decided we don't want to do them, the point is that there's a subconscious lack of urge to act, even while we might be consciously motivating ourselves (or berating ourselves).

[@cgriley9643]

I'm over 30 now and I just assumed everyone was like this -_-

[@skittles2055]

Same, now over 40 here. Just thought I was worse at life than everyone else. Also check out “How to ADHD” channel here on KZbin...I keep seeing myself in SO many ways

[@romeosrescuers3962]

@@skittles2055 same here. I was diagnosed probably ten years ago and have been on meds, but it never occurred to me to do any research on it. It’s comforting to know I’m not alone, and that beating yourself up about being ADHD is a symptom of ADHD..

[@xoxounavailablexoxo]

I also think a lot of people are like this. I feel like the ones who schedule, get things done early, are hella detail oriented ones are the exception. I think pushing stress away for a later time is a coping mechanism a lot of people use. I definitely have done all of the above but I don't think I have ADHD.

[@brwnhilarybanks9953]

@@xoxounavailablexoxo yup !

[@sachab6098]

​@@xoxounavailablexoxo I agree, it depends on how life-altering it is really. personally I'm not sure if adhd fits me all that well, cause I do fold my laundry eventually (realistically, twice to three times a year) and the only important things i forget on a regular basis are deodorant, buying milk when we run out, eating, going to bathroom, the check in questionnaire for work, and vacuuming. but another person could be dehabilitated by the things they forget, like if they forgot their driver's license and got pulled over when they were speeding to work which they were going to be late for. like I am always running late and I do speed like everyone else who is and I would forget my license except fortunately I have a bag that I put everything important and some in. I haven't forgotten my bag but I have forgotten my lunch box a few times... someone with adhd might forget their bag and lunch 5 times a week! it also really depends on the person. so yeah, I think this video is general enough that a lot of people can relate to it. on one hand that's good because it's undereported especially in women and people go to their doctor to get checked out. but it can be harmful because some people get hung up on an idea that might not really fit them.

[@sidvyas8549]

Lol just showed this to my mom, the response? I’m spending more effort and time trying to prove to myself and everyone that I have ADHD than doing the work I need to do LMFAO don’t you love it 😂

[@amenazanzibarwalla]

My brain is telling me the same thing and I know that's because it's what I expect to be told if I tell any family or friends that I want to get tested 😂😂😂

[@thinkinglu6627]

@@amenazanzibarwalla I got tested, and literally, so I start to search information about it, because it seems unreal. Then time pass, and I'm still here looking, is like validating myself, try to prove it.

[@D.Sheridan]

That's my fear!

[@valeriemiller8114]

Dear people, Please don't listen to anyone but yourself, your intuition. This is not a "made up" condition. The drugs are LIFE ALTERING. Get yourself diagnosed. My daughter was and the diagnosis changesd all our lives as we understood we needed to get educated to help her and she is THRIVING! And guess what? As she was going through diagnosis and I listened to the questions I understood that I too have ADHD. All the shame had a name now. All the shaming people had done to me my whole life (my mother, my ex husband, even people that love me but don't understand so they put labels on you like "space cadette", "careless", in the clouds, disorganized, etc etc etc). Since the meds (which I believe need to be taken with caution and do try to live as much as you can without them) my life has changed, my daughter's has too, and we are achieving more and more each day and reaching our full potential. And what do I say to people who judge us for taking meds? "Until you can spend one day in my brain, mind your own business". Bless you all. There is a better day. Get help.

[@irrevenant8724]

Get a diagnosis. Don't personally take on the role of trying to convince everyone. Get word of god from an expert.

[@roeadam]

I spent 43 years trying to deal with ADHD on my own, and was consistently recognized as very good at my job, but not quite at the top level because I was inconsistent. I reluctantly decided to go on medication and was recognized as #1/357 in my career field the following year. The greatest gift of the medication was the reduction of anxiety, which allowed me to prioritize, which allowed me to focus on what’s most important. Now it seems obvious to make the major things the main things. Previously everything felt like a five alarm emergency.

[@nikissoftfurnishings4964]

This is my life! Everything is absolutely critical all the time! Even deciding what to feed the family causes feelings of impending doom and disaster!

[@yesterdayisgone6187]

What medication did you use mate?

[@roeadam]

@@yesterdayisgone6187 Adderall. Wish I didn’t need it, but it made a huge difference.

[@gayleneflower398]

what was your medication???

[@gayleneflower398]

@@roeadam Hi Adam: I am so frustrated. I have talked with physicians and continuously receive the same, "it is a addicting drug, I don't want you to become addicted, so let's try something else like Bupropion, etc.. Very frustrating! I just want to be able to have a life!

[@hananaltaf3353]

These adulthood responsibilities are making my ADHD symptoms much more conspicuous than they initially were

[@spencer0303]

Right it’s so Annoying this is why I can’t get my meds

[@honeychurchgipsy6]

One difference with me regarding the 'not doing things because they are boring/uninteresting until things get desperate' piece of the adhd puzzle is that, for me, I don't think it's a boredom/not interesting enough problem. I often have anxiety surrounding the completion of a task - even a simple task such as answering an email or reading a response to a message I have sent - sometimes the anxiety is totally unreasonable and unexplainable - but it nevertheless prevents me from doing the task. Eventually the cost of not doing the task (i.e the water being cut off for not paying a bill) becomes higher than the anxiety caused by the thought of doing the task, and then I manage to complete what is often a very simple task.

[@maretapedak1232]

Actually I was thinking the same watching this video. I think you nailed it. I spent the whole summer not opening facebook because I knew there's gonna be tons of new messages. It's definitely not boredom.

[@HazasDump]

@@maretapedak1232 I haven't logged on my Facebook for 2 years and now I'm thinking I should delete it; but the mere thought of seeing so many notifications makes me anxious.

[@kc4550]

Trust me, I quit FB because reactions-to-responses-to-responses-to-responses dominated all my thoughts and half the days getting wasted on it. I was afraid of offending people by not answering them. I was afraid of losing touch with people if I quit. But what got me to end it was the realization that for the whole existence of mankind, FB did not exist, nor Twitter, nor YTube, cell phones, etc.. So I quit FB and am almost never on Twitter or anything else. So what if I lose track of people? The hard facts are: I don’t get at all excited about seeing people’s family pictures or cat tricks, nor hearing their thoughts about the traffic, nor would the people you would find intellectually stimulating. Nobody’s kids, cat, or dog are as beautiful, talented, brilliant, amazing, and obnoxious as mine, and my time is worth SO MUCH more than what I would “gain” by watching someone else’s. Not to mention, their terms of endearment to their spouses. Barf. We don’t normally hear people talking like that toeach other because they’re too personal. Those things are like puffs of smoke that go away and never reappear, and so is our time. Giving up or not starting social media accounts has only ever helped me, and I am also not junking up other people’s minds with my kid/cat/dog pics or my not-so-profound thoughts about the traffic I had to sit through. Adderall has definitely helped, too. I highly recommend that or something else like it. So without further ado, I’m going back to my job now to practice what I just preached. And you’re welcome for me ending this.

[@Hartleymolly]

OMG! Yes! You put it perfectly into words! I do this too! It’s so dang annoying

[@robertbarrywright3770]

​@@maretapedak1232 I agree. At work ( I am an electrician) and look forward to what others say are boring tasks like making up a few hundred identical cable fittings ready for others to install in the Feild, Where once you get started your brain can have a rest for half a day or even a few day. I do think these inefficient tasks will become less and less prominent as a machine will be able to keep pumping product out and depending on the scale of production ,it will be much more cost effective.

[@jaimespade3946]

This was explained so well. I struggle to put into words how ADHD impacts my life. The shame and anxiety are no joke. I completely agree that medication can be extremely effective. I wasn’t diagnosed until I was 37 (last year), and my life has completely changed since receiving treatment.

[@dazea]

I was dx at 37 too

[@murphyshsu]

What is treatment?

[@brentt6714]

I'm 35 and seeking a formal diagnosis but finding a doctor and getting an appointment is so tedious

[@beesworld04]

Thank you for sharing I’m 36 and have been heavily considering getting tested.

[@brentt6714]

Update: I got around calling my Dr.'s office for an appointment. My primary care doctor can't diagnose/prescribe ADHD medication and I already know I'll need to get referred out to another doctor who can do that. Of course they wouldn't just refer me to that doctor over the phone, I need to go out for an in-person appointment next week. I hope everyone else has a more efficient experience!

[@annemohn1412]

"In their minds the only way to counter the shame of not getting things done it and then hearing about it is to do it perfectly." And thus not getting things done and feeling even more shame until the pressure gets to high. This! Like so many others commenting here: I cried as everything she says in this talk hits home.

[@aliceincokes]

Listening to this made me teary especially the part where she says most are perfectionists. I have been to 6 different universities and changed courses/programs for 5 times and at 25 still doing my undergrad while working. In a span of 23 months, I have been with 7 companies. I have wasted a lot of resources, money, and opportunities in my life. I couldn't finish anything and my mother keeps on telling me that I always stuck in the starting line. 😢

[@richardStretcher]

Same here, studying at the 3rd university currently, though I haven't got any job yet due to what might be some form of social anxiety. My interests are music composition, game design and development, story writing and telling... And just like you, I struggle with finishing things. Oftentimes, it feels like I'm a burden on my family. From what I have just read, you seem like a really strong and, surprisingly, persistent person. Even though you faced a lot of disappointment and failure in your life, you didn't give up, and you're still trying to achieve what you desire. This is not something many ADHD people possess; I'm quite jealous in a good sense! I wish you best of luck and hope you will stay a determined, strong person you are!

[@amandareid931]

Its fortunate that we have the help and support we need. I am in my 50's and recently got diagnosed after I couldn't finish my Law degree for the 2nd time. I cry about the lost decades, lost jobs and lost relationships. I have just started medication and can now see my potential. The world has opened up to me again. Get help now ❤

[@MissRikkiKat]

As are you. You are moving forward, and not giving up. You are strong and courageous. You can beat this game, you alone decide how many lives you got left so don't quit!

[@winterblitzen09]

It was the "negative voice in your head and external voices confirming it" that broke me 😢

[@donnawillis3439]

I have ADD and I'm DYLEX and also have OCD

[@tylerloconte8974]

So many ADHD tedtalks get it so, so wrong. Thank you for doing your part and being so informed.

[@roslynluyt7284]

Have you seen Jess's Ted Talk?

[@tylerloconte8974]

@@roslynluyt7284 I cry every time.

[@FanTitan333]

I'm crying, this hit me so hard. I'm not diagnosed but I've struggled all the time, especially now. I'm doing a research because the school it's too much for me and I need answers... I'm asking for help but my family doesn't trust me about having ADHD (I'm a woman from Mexico and the stereotypes are strong)

[@litadex]

I'm from Bolivia and I understand that you might feel ridiculous or ashamed for seeking for help. Don't wait to things get worse and worse I'm 37 no career, no job, no interests, I feel worthless so I had to hit rock bottom to finally look for help because i was lying to myself all the time that I was going to be more organized and not changing my mind all the time about my career and goals. Mírate en este espejo y no dejes que lo cultural te impida de vivir una vida mejor.

[@keepmovingforward9775]

Big hugs. School and research was my aha moment. And at 45. I so get were your coming from. Your family may not understand but they may with time. And right now that is ok because you dont need their approval or validation even though it may be wanted, it's not needed. Find a good psychiatrist or general practitioner to get tested and give meds (thats how it works in US anyway).and A good therapist to work through some of the stress your having. You can do this. It is your life and you can choose what and how you live it. Sending you strength and blessing. Goodluck!

[@Janna_Ash]

I feel you. This video summed me up instantly, now I’m trying to stop the tears so I can go deal with my kids. I’m a stay at home mom right now, and my husband is from Mexico so I’m familiar with common attitudes. Especially when it comes to ideas about what women should be able to do. I literally tried to explain this to him last night and he was instantly dismissive. He thinks it’s just “por flojera” and doesn’t understand that’s it’s a bigger issue. I’m not unorganized and distracted because of laziness. I’m overwhelmed and then the shaming on top of it doesn’t help anything.

[@suzannemcmillan3367]

Omg I am hysterical laughing thinking wtf someone filmed my life right there... Then crying with pain in my heart at the shittiest time in my life where I'm losing people I love so much, and they are judging my life, unable to deal with me. And my work where I have a great career but am just from being through disciplinary for things you've described right here... I have NEVER had anyone describe EXACTLY what it's like. I have no diagnosis but my people have no question in its reality. It's so difficult also living with punishing consequences from people I love, who are aware of who I am and have always been x

[@christiniyoutubesux]

I love the support in this comment section. Teachers tried recommending medicines for me but my mom didn’t listen to them or get me tested. A decade later, and it feels like there’s no control. I just want to find help

[@Mike_Connor]

I literally bawled in tears when you talked about the shame, because that's how I feel. I don't want to be like this, I try really hard not to be like this, yet I still am. As for the perfectionist part, I go back over work I've already done and wake up at 3am, wondering whether or not I have actually done the work I've done and will literally keep myself awake, debating whether or not I should check that I have actually done it or just hope that I have and that it all won't go terribly wrong. The shame and trauma is constant. I'm not diagnosed, but 99% certain I have ADHD

[@dthed11ms]

I get you, Mike. I've been only diagnosed, and as much as I'm happy about my dual diagnosis, I feel sad that I can't still give up my perfectionism. I may lose my job again because I'm always late, can't move to the next stage if I don't feel the previous stage is not perfect. People are saying to me that all looks great, my "customers" are happy, but I can't move on because I still see some imperfections. And then, I put myself at risk. I hear you're a great dentist, but we can't keep you because you run late, and it affects the business. ADHD sucks on so many levels. I feel better I know it now, but I still can't change it. I hope the medication is going to change my brain, I see small improvements, but it needs to be the right dose to work. I hope it will change me, before I lose another job that I love so much. I'm not the youngest..ADHD and my autism let me achieve a lot, but I think, I've lost much more. I hope the new generation gets the recognition and support, that a lot of us has never got.

[@terrigwyn9963]

Me too

[@jennylacy2615]

brought me to tears. I am just now realizing at 37 years old why I have struggled throughout my entire life.

[@CBTR21]

Yup. 38 here

[@doz3r943]

ikr 42 and just learned what it is got a doc app soon

[@minkahalstead8748]

Exactly. 37 too and I desperately need a diagnosis, this is life changing

[@ingenueee]

living a life of hidden shame...wow...that is literally me.

[@towelam2421]

I have gotten to the point that my inner monologue is abusive. It's like if I tell my self I am a worthless failure then it won't hurt as much when the people I fail confirm it to me. Cause I knew all along.

[@nancylane8092]

You have ultimate worth. Change your inner monologue to tell yourself that. Think of one or two talents or strengths that you have and repeat those to yourself. Make sure you are getting plenty of exercise. That increases dopamine and serotonin in your system and your brain which can help you concentrate on the task at hand and filter out distractions. 🙏

[@gmccabe6915]

That breaks my heart. Because I had that inner dialogue also. I've learned to forgive myself and others who have hurt me and I learned to accept my past. I have also realized that having a good friendship with yourself and motivating yourself truly makes a difference. I heard Joel Osteen tell this story where is says "one day I looked in the mirror and thought, I normally look good, but today I really really look good"! I'm not a great looking person, but having confidence and encouraging yourself, life isn't so bad. I hope you can find strength and let me tell you this, you've always had it, just tap into it🙂

[@paanazmi8062]

@@nancylane8092 thank you for your suggestion.i think im going to get healthy lifestyle

[@La0bouchere]

I had this for a while. What helped me was focusing on the stuff that I am really good at, getting better at those things to see progress, and really taking care of my physical health (sleep and exercise were the most impactful). It took a few months of conscious effort but after that I've been consistently positive towards myself for years.

[@cherylhafner]

I have fought these same issues my whole life. Asking a million times" what is wrong with me???". I can't believe the hope this woman has brought me.

[@king.aguinaldo]

Constant conversation inside one’s head, hard to build confidence, anxiety as an effect of adhd, WAITING FOR THE OTHER SHOE TO DROP, either mundane or overwhelming. I’ve never felt more seen in my life.

[@murphchic07]

💯

[@lunarcat1612]

This woman literally reminded me that I need to pay my water bill. It's currently in my coat pocket, you know, so I don't forget to pay it.

[@YolandaMorenoA]

But still, even though it’s on your coat pocket, u forget to pay it 😪🙋🏻‍♀️

[@lunarcat1612]

@@YolandaMorenoA I just now paid it. Thanks for the reminder.

[@marylhere]

I have two under the visor in my car. Both with the two checks and two stamps and unmailed. Just got a letter saying that a lien will be on my property. It’s the only bill that’s not on auto pay. Thank god for auto pay…wonder how many people’s credit report is effected (affected?) by adhd.

[@margarethamilton1562]

You put a smile on my face. I have to 1-20. At least ask the person who put the mail on the floor to pick it up and them sort it out with me. Sometimes a person around helps with boring stuff.

[@goo4450]

you reminded me that I need to pay mine. It didn't even click when the lady said it.

[@meemeeps]

i really… REALLY need to get tested… but the process of getting a doctor’s appointment is overwhelming😵‍💫

[@DonnaTriska]

There are online testing options available

[@jumpergodesss6882]

This

[@DonnaTriska]

I finally took an online test a few days ago through ADHDonline. I’m looking forward to being able to stay focused on a conversation. Read for pleasure again. An not being so overwhelmed all the time.

[@AndreaCrisp]

@@DonnaTriska thanks for mentioning this website! A lot of the local evaluation places are closed here due to the pandemic. This looks like a great option!

[@DonnaTriska]

@@AndreaCrisp you’re welcome. It took me looking and getting distracted and trying again before I found it an another six weeks before I remembered to take it.

[@Reverent1998]

Just got my diagnosis at 24 and got on Adderall about two weeks ago. It’s been night and day. I don’t procrastinate anymore, I’m way less anxious, and I can keep up with work, school, family, and keeping the house clean. I’m so thankful I can function and feel “normal” now. And being more productive has helped my confidence as well. Total game changer for me.

[@RE4ORGED]

I stumbled across your comment and wanted to help you with something I didn't know. Be aware that for me at least there was a "honeymoon period" with medication. It was night and day for me as well but eventually tapered off. It absolutely still works but I don't get the dramatic effect I had previously. I'm so glad you got your diagnostic though! I wish you the best!

[@aaunyea4799]

25 and just started Adderall and i feel the same way! Then I get sad, thinking about how much better my life could have been if I had help sooner

[@tokyococo6996]

How are things now?

[@gloriasaliba3395]

This is one of the most succinct explanations of ADHD, I tick so many of the boxes she mentioned

[@valerielander2310]

Thank you, thank you for this video. I was just diagnosed with inattentive ADHD last month (age 39). For so long I thought there was something wrong with me as a person. That I was a failure. That I was just bad at life. Shame, anxiety, perfectionism... You hit the nail on the head. It's hard to explain it to others and it's hard for others to understand because all they see are the outward results, or rather, the lack of results, caused by the disorder. They don't understand why I can't just handle everything the way they do. They don't understand the constant internal struggle and anxiety and feelings of worthlessness. I hope my husband will watch this with me because it explains everything so well. It's comforting to know that I'm not alone.

[@youradhdguide3134]

It's such a great video isn't it! I was diagnosed at age 40. I've worked hard at overcoming my ADHD ever since and I'm seeing big, positive changes in my life now. Once you know the reason for your struggles there are so many great resources online for learning how to overcome it.

[@oisinconsidine9016]

@@vanias.7309 Yes I would definitely talk to a professional about it (particularly someone who specialises in the ADHD area). I haven't been diagnosed but I think I could have it. I heard that it is so worth it to talk to someone about it

[@doratavano3983]

Hey I am 35 and I am just recently watching videos on ADHD in adults and RSD and it definietely sounds like what I have been going through my whole life! I need to explain my thoughts with a doctor and hope that there is something that can help me cope with this daily. I really thought that my thoughts were normal and everyone felt this way until I started explaining my thoughts to my husband and he told me that it is not normal for me to think this way.

[@TheHadi2008]

Don’t wait for your husband to agree with you about your situation. If you believe you are suffering from this condition then go ahead and get help. People will not understand.

[@tamarafields5703]

Yessss

[@joannelim7985]

Me with ADHD…. Scrolling my phone in the middle of the talk. 😬

[@alokkumaryadav6990]

Same here... 😂

[@kelin3012]

same

[@armfart890]

Same lol

[@msevolution2317]

Before the credits had ended🤦🏾‍♀️

[@kkkssss8376]

Sam

[@iveneverseenahealthyvegan.9885]

I was diagnosed 2 years ago at 52. In my research and lived life experience the ADHD brain is how it should be. Its modern day society, rules, and conforming that keeps our brain like a Caged Animal. We need to find our strengths as earliy as possible and build our life around this. Picasso Quote; The meaning of life is to find your gift. The purpose of life is to give it away. 🇬🇧🙂Keep up your good work.

[@donnatate6327]

I live your comment. I struggle with ADHD and have worked over 40 years with children and I see the hurried stressed lives of kids and realized that we suffer from a crazy, rushed world😅

[@tat1790]

❤🇬🇧

[@donnatate6327]

Amen!!! I work with children and you are so right!

[@donnatate6327]

Sing a song sounds of blackness

[@thtambitiousgrl]

Clifton Strengthsfinder is a great place to start

[@ohkaygoplay]

I recently got diagnosed with ADHD and autism, which clears up so much about my entire life. Everything you've said - everything - describes my life and I want to cry. The soul crushing nature of work is just physically painful to endure day after day after day. If I had the choice, and didn't need money for the right to live, I'd quit and stay home. It's a horrible physical and mental pain that far exceeds what neurotypical people experience. "Oh work is hard, but it's doable." And yeah, we can do it, but it's 10x harder for us to reach a neurotypical person's average.

[@JulieT..]

I feel the same. Sometimes I wake up and think: How can I do this today? I just have days that are harder than others and on those days all I can think about is the driving home part after work or if I can just get through the day is have the rest of the evening off or the next day. But everyday is a struggle. 🙁

[@CBReptiles1]

Time for a different line of work then

[@mjdedge3440]

The struggles are real! I'm 46 and have my first psychologist visit next month. I'm 95% sure I have ADHD. I get distracted all the time. I'm a construction estimator and price jobs from $10k to $6-10M. Yesterday I found out I totally missed pricing for a drawing detail that was worth $73k - Thankfully we haven't signed the contract for that project yet and we can add that to our bid....but that's the constant anxiety I live with - someone distracts me and I forget to finish what I'm doing. Plus, on the same day, the banana I had for lunch wasn't fully ripe. Nothing to do with my ADHD, just thought I'd mention it

[@jiggly229]

i had that banana thing happen to me at work before, too. it's just the worst isn't it? i thought about that banana for quite a while later that day.

[@hearthome.]

😄

[@beesworld04]

Please keep us updated on your journey

[@therexbellator]

I'm also in my 40s and have struggled with this all my life undiagnosed. That story about Tom and the piles of mail hit me hard; that may as well be me cause I have a pile of mail in one corner of my house (mostly junk mail but still). I feel so overwhelmed all of the time and have fallen behind on so many things. I really need to get myself evaluated.

[@DJ_Dopamine]

I'm 45 and I work as a Quantity Surveyor in construction and engineering. So very similar to you! Having just watched this video out of curiosity... it made me stop dead and think. This woman was describing my life. I will now go and get myself analysed/tested asap!

[@ILLRICARDO]

adhd is a never ending curse... a nightmare with no way out... i feel like a failure and wish i was dead, i cannot manage to do anything no matter how hard i try...

[@Veeolet-Luv]

💜

[@kidd3225]

Hey, feel you and there is way, not out but somewhere. Been there and you can make things, do things

[@DJohnsonDeejay]

I struggle like this and people chalk up as I am too much of an perfectionist and they are so far from the truth.

[@mab3900]

I feel the same!

[@ILLRICARDO]

@@simachakkalakal8804 no thank you... Don't want to end up being an addict ontop of all the problems I already have ..

[@markmendoza7868]

I struggle socially because of ADHD. I stay reserved because almost everyone I interact with cannot comprehend my way of communicating. I've been like this since 6th grade [age 12] it has shunned my social skills and developmental growth.

[@lucyliuschat7808]

I recommend you hit up this legit plug they're very reliable ship to any location they've got Adderall katemin dmt,lsd, Shrooms,spores,microdose and other psychedelic stuffs

[@lucyliuschat7808]

Trippy_psyche1

[@kathrynjaneway750]

"Living life in crisis all the time" That made me absolutely weep because nothing has summarized my life as succinctly as this phrase.

[@bookkrworm]

I've been considering getting tested for adhd for awhile now, and while I feel like it's a good idea, I'm also really scared that I won't be able to get the correct help. Or that I'll get told that nothing is wrong and get over it, because I've been told that so much in my life.

[@Erica-222]

It's better to know than to wonder what if! Finding the best medication and doses can often take awhile, but we are fortunate in that there are amazing meds out there and wonderful coping strategies we can learn to enhance our lives and those around us. Good luck with your journey of self discovery...I wish you all the best!

[@Erica-222]

I felt to add a few more things...lol! "how to ADHD" youtuber is a source of encouragement. Some coping strategies that might help: meditation (takes the edge off for some), when you need to get something done put headphones on and play ADHD music which helps hyperfocus (which is an advantage!!!), set alarms and back up alarms for important events daily, spend your pent up energy doing what you love...walking, running, jumping on a trampoline, swimming, stretching, write down all of your amazing positive aspects and remind yourself daily of these...you are so much more than a function...we are multi faceted beings and loving life is something we all have in common, get over other peoples opinions and "thoughts"...what you think and feel is your priority and they will either catch up of fall away...you are worth investing in yourself in a manner that feels great to you, take it slow and remember there is no race! You will figure it out and there is help out there! Trust your instincts and be kind to yourself. Lastly, you do not need a label to prove that you would benefit from some help...trust your knowing that something is amiss and trust that the answers will find you! I was diagnosed at age 49, a friend at 71 another at 44 years of age....medication has aided our lives. We are first and foremost loving ourselves just as we are and gently easing into new strategies that feel good and work....things will work out!

[@1-._.-Blue_Vr-._.-1]

Do it! Just got diagnosed today at 26. I had same fear and if someone does say you’re fine. Get a second opinion!

[@BabaShrimp69]

@@Erica-222 thank you im grateful and im sure many others are too for ur words

[@jenner81]

I was scared to go as well, but my life was unmanageable and having a breakdown one day made me realize I needed help. And if your doctor won't listen to you, find one that will. Medication has made a world of difference for myself and I'm also doing counseling. I hope your doing better now!

[@ingenueee]

I have been seeing a therapist for anxiety for almost a year. And stumbled upon ADHD...and things are starting to make sense to me now. I just wanna cry honestly.

[@MissPookajinx]

i cried for three days i get it. 😵‍💫

[@craigtillman5988]

Me too. This is mind-blowing. This my exact story. She's describing me.

[@HttaYann-yw5mv]

4:48 this is exactly how it feels everyday! It’s either mundane and not worth my effort or overwhelming 😢

[@tat1790]

Wow. The inside voice of negativity confirmed by the outside voices of negativity really got to me😢Unfortunately I got into abusive relationships too, so the voices putting me down were even greater. I got to the point I can no longer be in a relationship. I also have become less sociable and I keep my circle small. Undiagnosed for 52 years it’s really taken it’s toll on me.

[@borleyboo5613]

I’m 65 and I’ve lived like this for YEARS! Only after reading about autism/Aspergers syndrome did I find out about ADHD. I then knew this was ME! I am seeing my GP next week and asked no him for a referral to a specialist.

[@margarethamilton1562]

Good going. Keep at it. There's also a free magazine called ADDitude put out by a group named CHADD. Helpful hints. Short slideshows so you don't read articles. Get real help.

[@julz9378]

I’m about to be 60 just realizing I have high functioning anxiety probably caused by ADHD. Is there medication I can take? How are you doing

[@gayleneflower398]

Yeah, unfortunately, I just found out a few years ago as well. I have a difficult time trying to get a dr to prescribe me some meds that will actually help. good luck with the "specialist", they will try to prescribe you antidepressants or anti anxiety meds. It is insane. Im still working on it.

[@leslierzeznik3682]

61 and just diagnosed. Still trying to figure things out.

[@SuperPollywogger]

62 years old here and going to GP this Thursday for a referral. I knew I was ADHD, my friends and family took it as common knowledge... I developed "coping" skills but was never diagnosed. It's never to late!!

[@Alexandra-jz1ed]

As someone who felt so alone and confused when I was diagnosed with ADHD, unaware of what it really was, this video brought me to genuine tears. Thank you for putting into words exactly what ADHD is like both from the view of someone who has it and someone on the outside looking in.

[@nil_morphine]

I'm getting emotional listening to this. My mother was never the type to take time out of her day to seek help for her kids or herself. Growing up I realized it was because she is struggling with some severe mental health problems of her own. But then where does that leave me? I always felt weird and different. People around me made it look easy to just exist. So I didn’t understand why it felt so hard to me. Watching this video, I hope, will be the beginning of my self help journey.

[@laurenkuckelman701]

This made me cry…I feel so seen and heard. Especially when she talked about how we sit in a meeting “seething” bc we’ve got so much to do and we are so bored and feel they are wasting our time

[@TheTacticalMess]

I was just recently diagnosed with ADHD and for a while I still wasn’t sure I had it. This video helps reinforce my belief that I’m on the right direction though. So much of my anxiety came from what I now believe to be my ADHD. I was always having problems with executive functioning, getting overwhelmed easily, losing stuff, having terrible organizational skills, overthinking to the point that it’s harmful, being so bored by important things I need to focus on. The list goes on.

[@echol8087]

Think I have ADHD. I'm 40. I also have anxiety / OCD, but now that I'm doing all this studying on ADHD I'm thinking maybe a lot, if not most, of what I have, has been misdiagnosed? It's crazy! I've been this way my whole life, and always thought I was just anxious / neurotic. This video really hit home. Everything she said, I was like, "This is me!"

[@Ik-do7cf]

@@echol8087 Yeah I think a lot of things often get mixed up when diagnosing ADHD. Autism, OCD, gifted high intelligence and a lot more, it's because they express in similar ways. But also because they go hand in hand, I feel like its very common to have ADHD combined with OCD and anxiety, either because one resulted in the other or because you just had both of them from the beginning. It's never bad to get things sorted out if you feel you could benefit from it, even if it would just bring you peace to know. Hope it al works out for you!

[@Miguelskytwins]

I discovered thanks to my girlfriend that I had ADHD. It surprised me but it helped me a lot to understand what was happening to me. I can tell that it is very very very stressful most of the time, I get obsessed with stuff all the time, I struggle to study, get distracted by whatever... I can't believe that non of my teachers at school could see it, and they only looked for ADHD help for the most hyperactive guys, bullies, and in general guys that were up to no good, but couldn't see it on quiet guys like me. It all sounds kinda sad, but I have to say that thanks to ADHD, I have managed to be very active and fulfill the majority of my dreams cause I never gave up and I wanted to make my inner kid happy(obsession), and as I am perfectionist, I manage to have everything under control (under stress, of course). I'm about to receive help, and I am happy to take medication if I need to, cause my brain needs a rest, and I want to be able to study, going to sleep earlier than I do, and be less overwhelmed by my thoughts cause I genuinely think I will have a heart attack at some point... I found out this year (I'm 30 years old). I hope you all find the peace you need, I know is not easy. Hugs to everyone that suffers in silence, feel free to talk to me if you need someone that understands your situation.

[@user-nd8pj6hs1f]

lm 55aged korean woman who resontly dignosed adhd I am very plesed after read ur word good luck

[@Miguelskytwins]

@@user-nd8pj6hs1f thank you! All the best to you 😊

[@user-rf1wr3vc4z]

Am a Zambian male still waiting for assessment, i have suffered in silence for so long, am hoping for a relief one day.

[@Miguelskytwins]

@@user-rf1wr3vc4z I hope you can find it man. The NHS (British healthcare), told me to wait on the waiting list for about a year to get help, it's been way longer than that and they haven't tell me anything... I gave up. I hope you have better luck than me!

[@Brysonhundley]

I've been diagnosed with ADHD for around 3 years now (I'm almost 24) I've been on Vyvanse since I was diagnosed and I had started to gain a tolerance towards it so this past spring semester I started to see bad habits re-emerge. I took an internship out of state but my doctor said she couldn't send my meds across state lines so I would have to figure something else out. Even though she was wrong I procrastinated setting up an appointment (there's those old habits) I ended up moving to the new internship without a refill which lead to me being without my meds for 4 straight weeks until my GF came to visit and brought me mine. My life felt like it was crumbling apart. I was late for meetings, missed deadlines, & got extremely sensitive to rejection (RSD) to the point I avoided most social interaction. Ordinarily it doesn't cause this amount of anti social behavior but I knew absolutely no one here, so I could never be myself and I second guessed myself constantly. I got my medicine back and since I've been able to accomplish so much, it's like a fog lifted off my head. I feel so much more confident and self assured. If you have ADHD and arent medicating, do it. It's a huge difference.

[@stickyjiggy0247]

Hey there, im really glad that there are meds that seem to be able to soften the symptoms a bit. I know i have adhd, my therapist pointed it out to me ive had it since i was a little kid and now im 27. I come from a background where taking meds/pills is considered as weakness or generally just a bad thing, so i´ve avoided getting any. However after reading how the meds helped you, ive become quite curious. would you maybe be willing to share a few things with me like how the meds work, what kind of relief do they bring and so on. Thanks and all the best :)

[@janiebuck2938]

I just found out, at 61 years old. I've had treatment for years, but was misdiagnosed as Bipolar disorder - rapid cycling. It turns out that I have both. When I found out, I was angry! My diagnosis came way too late. I missed so many years of my life. The characteristics that Heather describes are precise to what I experience everyday. If you're behavior resembles what she's describing, get treatment until you are satisfied that indeed the diagnosis is correct so that you don't spend decades of struggle like I did.

[@jimwilliams3816]

61 too! I struggled more and more as I went through my 50s, and am on various meds now for depression and anxiety. I have looked at lots of disorders (including BPD), and am still trying to understand what I am. ADHD makes a lot of sense, and likely what my father had, but I'm probably on the milder end of the spectrum, or else have learned coping mechanisms that compensate some. Online comments from others with ADHD sound just like me, but the DSM5 criteria (which skip emotions, and are somewhat kid-centric) are hard for me to clearly get to 5+ in either presentation...I'm some of both. Also, I don't have that many memories of my behavior from before adolescence, though I remember lots of ADHD traits in my teens. How did you fare with finally getting diagnosed? I'd like to be assessed but I'm not sure it will present adequately.

[@Tabbycat7219]

I have both as well :)

[@gayleneflower398]

yep, me too...65

[@eventsperson5465]

I'm 66 and think I have it. Been on meds for depression and my horrible anxiety disorder for over 20 years. Scared to tell my doctor. What if she doesn't believe me? I'm desperate though.

[@janiebuck2938]

@@eventsperson5465 She'll believe you. Some doctors are better than others at figuring it out.

[@ashbyarts6989]

This seriously hit home with me! You detailed so much of what I feel and struggle with. Just figuring it out and feeling a lot of peace fo know I am not the only one feeling this way

[@nikkigotcutloose]

Ditto. I broke down twice through this video. I’ve attained enlightenment 😂

[@liammcadam6762]

This is exactly how I felt. I have just recently found out I have ADHD after never really knowing what it was. Having someone explain symptoms of ADHD of which I had thought all my life were feelings I would never be able to articulate is emotional. Just the peace of mind of how my brain works is different really makes a difference.

[@joelman1989]

Just started researching ADHD for my son and I have never felt more understood.

[@whydoyouwanttoknowthat]

@@liammcadam6762 same. Just knowing what it was has given me peace and helped me sleep better

[@chelseaw9009]

Did you end up getting a diagnosis?

[@katiefoster5369]

You just described my life. I have always thought I was lazy, inconstant, and disorganized. Thank you so much for this video

[@lauradominguez3229]

This video made me cry 😢 it's incredible how you grow up believing it's normal or just part of your personality... it just describes it so well... I felt understood for once.

[@4everyoung24]

Can relate! Procrastinating perfectionist is my name. I have to create fake “pressure” to get my patient charts done. Setting a timer to get five charts at a time done gives enough imposes just enough stress to focus and get the charts done without sitting and spinning my wheels over every little word.

[@bluedawning22]

I’m ADHD and this is everything I hear all the time. Sometimes I feel like it’s a superpower and sometimes it makes me feel weak. I take the meds but I still am late everyday to everything. It’s a joke if I’m ever early or on time.

[@csmoviles]

How sad

[@ethelekh9403]

I am 90% Tom, and parts of the rest. I had once read an article on a woman who had ADHD, lightbulb 💡 moment. I got diagnosed at 55. My kids paid a price as I was not the best mom I should have been. But they are incredible kids.

[@HarekaTysiri]

you did your best ethel :)

[@avalokiteshvara113]

You did your best Ethel. I'm really glad you got diagnosed.

[@Oneklickmedia]

I been dealing with these things for last twenty years yet everyone around me think it’s wild that I could even be labeled having ADHD. Sometimes people learn how to hide it in the front end of things but in the back behind doors, it’s a battle zone. Thanks for inspiring me to finally talk to my primary care and walk this new path

[@axl923]

Wow! After a lifetime (almost 50 years now) of being anxious, desorganized, putting extra hours in work, but never getting the matching results and thinking I'm not normal and not clearly knowing why, this talk was a game changer. Just putting the finger on the problem was a revelation. I feel I can go forward now. Thx a million!!

[@DozieVictory]

👆👆From the above 👆 handle get all your psychedelic treatments , LSD, SHROOMS, DMT, PSILOCYBIN, KETAMINE, MDMA, CHOCOLATE BAR

[@junm6664]

4:20 this is so me. I waste so much time procrastinating, doing nothing. And then whenever someone needs of my time, or let's say I'm at work, I keep think and stressing about how I could've been spending that time doing what I've been procrastinating on. But then again, if I would just not provide my time to someone else, or my job, I would still not do what I have to do. I'm not sure if y'all will be able to understand what I mean.

[@razvicool00]

very relatable dude

[@tlr1498]

Oh we understand....

[@anushkachakraborty8635]

I am getting anxious just listening to this woman describe parts of my life in so much detail!

[@natures_growstores2214]

👆👆👆 got you covered🍫🍄💊

[@charlottecannon5288]

This is my doctor! She is awesome!!!! I love her! She understands me!!! ❤️

[@sophieschoices9663]

She really does seem amazing! I can only hope to one day talk to a dr like her!!

[@ranger13]

Watching this has confirmed everything that i have been feeling.

[@madil5974]

Omg. I'm a very disciplined person and I've done well in my schooling and education. But when it comes to opening mails, cleaning the house, doing laundry....I get so overwhelmed. It's become a problem in my marriage and it's been so hard.

[@spacegoat_3d801]

There’s nothing wrong with you that shits just BORING

[@melaniethetruckdriver]

This stay at home mum is on day 5 of treatment and everything rang SO true 🥺🥺

[@pollackmorgan3149]

Hello how are you doing🙏👍🙏🙏

[@KryssLaBryn]

Right?! "Stay-at-home mum who is running around frantically all day but then the husband comes home and the house is a mess and she hasn't even started dinner" Yes! Yes, thank you!! IT IS NOT JUST ME BEING LAZY. The only way I manage to get the kids out the door each morning (and I do! 😁 ) is by setting extremely loud and obnoxious alarms on my phone for *every* timing I need to make. Because in my world there is just no such thing as "...and then, five minutes later;" it happens THEN or it doesn't happen at all. So, yeah, some alarms are literally two minutes apart. But hey, at least it works. Just wish it didn't drive everyone around me nuts so much. 😕 But if it isn't, then I just end up going, "Yeah, yeah, just a sec," and then *immediately* forgetting about it. Thank god for smart phones. Mine is always on me, of course, so now I keep my shopping lists on that, and wherever I am, I can just tell it to add whatever random thing I just remembered about, instead of trying to remember that we need more shampoo all the way from the upstairs bathroom where the shower is to downstairs and across the house to where my shopping list was. Because otherwise, even with a list, I would still have to go through every damned aisle anyways, to get all the stuff I completely forgot about until I saw it there. And ordering your groceries online!! :D Brilliant!! I just have to remember to get my order in before midnight (which I am still working at, sigh), and then it cuts my time (at least, at the one store hah) down from like an hour+ to ten minutes. If I just go shopping, it takes like 2-3 hours (even if I'm just hitting two stores) and is exhausting. Believe me, if I actually WAS just lazy, I wouldn't be wearing myself out constantly doing everything the hardest possible way! D:

[@lamonicahayes8766]

For years I couldn't understand why it's extremely hard to focus and complete simple things. Family always pressuring me to this and that say I'm moving to slow not getting things done, it hurts when others don't understand how hard it is to clean up or grocery shopping. I've been to school did 6 different courses trying to accomplish something with my life and the frustration of not sticking to it.The time it took just to write this. comment. Reading these comments shows we're not alone in this. We are still gifted and talented we just learn and do things differently. You are incredible inside and out💛

[@JoanneG]

Ha they actually sent me for a hearing test when I was at school 🙈 I was trying so hard to listen. I could hear but couldn’t concentrate unless I was excited about what they said. I’m in my forties now and still find this so hard. It affects confidence so much and makes socialising a nightmare! Work is the worst. It’s exhausting! Overwhelming for sure!

[@skinsmed]

I had to have a hearing test for my German class in grad school for the same reason. I struggled & struggled &, being an anxious perfectionist, learned enough to be considered "non-native fluent" (can't remember the exact term), subsequently learned Russian, and continued with French. Your comment is so enlightening because I was diagnosed with ADHD at age 46 as part of a "mild cognitive impairment" assessment by a neuropsychiatrist subsequent to a multiple sclerosis flare. Thank you for sharing your story. I think I had ADHD long before I had MS - I know I've had anxiety my whole life but wasn't given an anxiety diagnosis until I was 40-something.

[@authenticationstation2041]

This is probably the best explanation of ADHD I’ve seen yet.

[@thinkinglu6627]

I got tested since I was little, and at one point the medical person that was guiding me said, "you are now 15, we can't do much, it is time for you to deal with it". So now, at 24 never take meds or try new things, so a lot of these things happen to me, and family and friends were arguing about it, and I was causing so much chaos, but now searching about it, I just realize I shouldn't feel bad, or lazy, I just need to make the best out of it and to not let me get down.

[@EMartin70]

It's never to late to reach out for help. God Bless you.

[@originalhazelgreene]

Don't do what I did. I let family talk me out of continuing my meds past high school. It was the worst thing I've done my entire life. If you can get the meds, get them and take them. And don't let anyone tell you it's wrong or it's unhealthy or you should be trying natural alternatives or you should be grown out of it by now. Screw them. You take care of you. You know what your needs are. I'm 47 and never finished my degree because of lack of meds. Got pregnant and married real young after flunking out of college (of course). Never had much of a career since. Don't be me. Please

[@SweetStuffOnMonarchLane]

ADHD is genetic... it doesn't just go away at a certain age.... you will have it until the day you die, so do whatever you can, including medication, to make your life the best you can. That medical person was WRONG... so many are about ADHD.

[@ronniehopkins1457]

I’m truly so glad i was diagnosed, late 20s but not too late. My father died from a drug related stroke, he died at 60. He never knew he had ADHD, instead lived his life in misery, trying to scrape for dopamine as often as he could. It was only through my diagnosis that I realised that he was suffering in the same ways I had been. I’m now correctly medicated, I’m now sober, and for the first time in my life, I feel whole.

[@ianlackey237]

People with adhd have beautiful minds, when she mentioned the "do you need your ears checked" that really reminded me of so much of my childhood

[@wendypalacios3349]

Same

[@Universal.G]

The first step is to realize that the voice in your head, the "thinking" is not who you are. The real you, is the part of you that is aware of the thinking.

[@destinyyounge6303]

Woww… this was explained so well…Question, does anyone else have a really hard time reading, like it feels almost impossible to read something long. E .g, article or book I’m currently halfway in about 6 different books, all great books but I just can’t pin myself to finish them. It’s so frustrating

[@kittuojha]

I read as many pages as I can in the first go itself bcoz I know (from experience) I'll not open the book/article again. But I am better with videos and interactive learning.

[@sirleon3x]

Same here. Adjacent to my bed is a shelf that has about 8 books that I’ve started to read and haven’t finished, or haven’t started reading. I look at this shelf daily, hoping the inspiration would come, but nothing happens, and I end up on my iPad playing games, or Googling.

[@axl923]

Absolutely! I can only read short articles, and preferably not on the same topic. Since I work in the communications' field, where you must read lots of things, I have been strugling a long time. As an (undiagnosed) ADHD kid, studying (reading) was a major problem. With the anxiety setting in and all. Got help, including meds, for my anxiety, and it's litteraly 95 % better. I can breathe now. Now, I'm really hyped to control that ADHD. Hope you find your answers. Best to you.

[@seashells1460]

I can only read long articles or books if I'm very interested/basically obsessed with the topic. I've read all the Harry Potter books for example with no issues. But if something is mundane or uninteresting to me I'm probably going to really struggle getting through it and might have to read it a few times. This is even worse if I'm not taking good care of my health and stressed out.

[@Crystalthepistol]

I can’t put into words what this video has done for me. I have an appointment with my doctor tomorrow to see if this is why I’m having such a hard time. I cried the entire 8 minutes and 55 seconds. Thank you ❤

[@Dandylyon1]

I cried through it, too. It explains a lot, doesn’t it?❤

[@chelsey1657]

As someone who has been diagnosed since they were 5 years old. Here is a tip. Be nice to yourself while trying to improve your self. It sounds like a no brainer but it can help with the feelings of guilt.

[@pauldavis8981]

Me too.

[@halfcutonion6342]

So what’s the point of being diagnosed if there isn’t a long term treatment? I don’t want to be on adderall all my life, is there anything else I can do besides medications?

[@is_a_verb]

@@halfcutonion6342 I guess you learn more about how you work and how to deal with it? I'm in your boat, not interested in meds.

[@alyciagilb1643]

I’ve been struggling with focus and memory so much lately. My family has literally said “do you have to get your ears checked?” because they think I’m not listening. I become so overwhelmed at the littlest things and my immediate reaction is to start crying. I’m slowly realizing that I probably have ADHD and this video really helped me understand. I just wish I knew where to start.

[@alisonwest3142]

Thank you Heather. Excellent talk!! I was diagnosed with ADD in my mid thirties. I am a 60 year old woman. Being diagnosed with ADD changed my life. I finally had a reason for being different. But that was only the first step in my ADD journey. The second step (hurdle) was the getting past the stigma of using medication. I tried everything possible to avoid using medication and nothing worked, I still seemed to screw everything up, so I finally broke down and ask my doctor for medication. It was like having and living with 20/70 vision and putting on corrective glasses for the first...my world came into focus for the first time in 35+ years! Medication isn't for everyone, but it was everything for me. Each person must have the ability to make their own decision about using medication or not, without fear of stigmatism or criticism. Back when I was diagnosed, there was more misinformation about ADD than accurate information. And the information that was available focused on kids with ADHD, not adults. So I hid my ADD in shame. I didn't want people to know I had a mental disability or deficiency. I even hid it from my husband for the first 5 years of our marriage. Although he now knows, we don't discuss it. He doesn't understand it and never will. Trying to make him or anyone understand this...understand and accept me and my brain, has generally been a futile waste of effort and energy. Only someone who has ADHD/ADD can begin to understand what life is like for us and the challenges we face. It's only been in the last 7-8 years that I've learned about the numerous and diverse ways ADD/ADHD can and does manifest and specifically how it manifests in me, which as Heather explained so well, is in the areas of executive function. Armed with that knowledge, and the resources to research and continuously learn more about my ADD, I've been able to turn my ADD into my superpower and finally have the successful career I always wanted! So for those of you who are recently diagnosed (or are yet to be diagnosed), make learning about ADHD and understanding how it is manifest in you a priority. It only took me 40+ years, but with the internet and the information now available at your fingertips, you can start learning and become your own advocate today. It's talks like this one by Heather and other people like Jessica McCabe that will help you figure out how to turn this 'disability' into your superpower! You can do it!

[@bkfrance2]

This comment inspires me to keep pressing in until I get the help I need!!!

[@leslietownsend6167]

Did you use a stimulant or non stimulant med?

[@bkfrance2]

@@leslietownsend6167 I’m curious to know the answer to this as well!

[@ellecrescent9834]

Thank you Alison. I’m 33, just been diagnosed and I’ve started medication almost two weeks ago. It doesn’t seem to be the right dosage for me. I’m feeling so overwhelmed and am still processing everything, and on top of that I’ve had tinnitus and hyperacusis for the past two years. I’m exhausted right now. But seeing your comment gave me a little hope, that I will get through this eventually and live a better life

[@lillachrissay5564]

@AlisonWest Thank you for your post, it was so helpful for me to read. I'm 42 and just got diagnosed with ADHD and PTSD, and I feel scared about it. And I'm so in need of smth to change, because my life right now isn't working as it should. So reading about others who have done similar journey is comforting. So thank You.

[@HeyyItsShae_]

I am still in the process of figuring out if i have adhd and watching this video made my jaw drop. I am Tom, I am Sally, I am all those things and never even realized it could be something out of my control. Thank you for this amazing video!

[@sirik.1147]

Might not believe me but this made me cry. I'm 32,just got diagnosed as an audhder and still out of meds. This spoke to my heart. I wish one day I will find the right professionist to help me properly.

[@dzhuliaborisova1153]

I really cried on this video....it feels like she's talking exactly about me... I think it's finally time to do something about it...

[@Oldmajestic]

This has been literally eye opening for me. I have been holding back tears watching this, as I literally have gone through everything talked about in this video. I have struggled with all of these symptoms my entire life and I was diagnosed with anxiety at 16. Ever since then (I'm 30 now) I have been near suicide more times than most people would like to believe (Two generations above me have actually tried, one succeeded) and every single day feels like climbing a mountain, and knowing that I have to climb a mountain every day makes me feel so afraid of life, especially when I see other people climbing that mountain with ease. I've been called very strong willed, but it only shows sometimes, when I don't have these symptoms. Thank you so much for this video, I will be seeing my doctor asap and discussing the possibility that this may be the case for me also.

[@trishamorris9732]

Related to this talk so much and was thinking about it at work instead working. Super anxious, living in chaos, always trying my best but everything always fails. Came back and realized I only watched half. Watching again now.

[@bethanyasquith5451]

Watching this I feel so emotional. I'm currently going through the process of being diagnosed. I'm 29, a successful teacher who's always done well academically. But I've always known that in order for that to be the case, I've had to work harder than others and struggled with things that I really shouldn't. The part about the same hits hard, too. I constantly feel a sense of shame that I can't do things like others, I feel guilty when I feel overwhelmed and know I should do something about it but can't. I recently came across the term 'adhd pralysis' and that described parts of my life so well. Its reassuring to know that there are others who go through the same and that it can be dealt with.

[@legalgal12]

YES!!! Oh this made me cry. This is me!! And trying to explain why I have no time management skills is maddening. I think some task will only take an hour to finish, but it actually takes three. Or I think, “I’ll just do this for five minutes.” An hour later, I’m still doing it, thinking it’s only been ten. Medication has helped, but not entirely. I still have to use learned skills and tools to manage my ADD.

[@azzdogs93]

I cry every time i watch this. The most concise & clear description of my (& I'm sure other ADHDers) struggles that i have heard

[@ZakiBouzidson40]

This really helps understanding what’s really going on, & the fact that you have brought too many examples to explain the situation while emphasizing the struggle made me a focus champion for the entire video. Thank you very much for taking time to help I really needed this.

[@danamiddlemiss9223]

This has put into words exactly the way I feel all day every day! I have been referred today for a full assessment and hope that it won’t take long for a diagnosis

[@jakep6409]

Amazing break down. You’ve described things about myself I couldn’t even put into words. I thought I was crazy for thinking this way so it’s nice to hear I’m not the only one. Thank you.

[@ladybancroft2488]

This lady was explaining this topic really well and not speaking as fast as so many do, so thank you. My daughter has ADD and I have ADHD and were both autistic. I get all hyped up where as she's a little calmer, so we support eachother. I struggle a lot and now realise why I have struggled so much in the past by being bullied, abused and so desperately lonely as never had friends, wish I had been diagnosed as a child and had help and support. Thankfully I recognised similarities to other young girls I had seen during a documentary on autism and so I took her to my gp and so the journey began....its been a long journey but thankfully she's ot me to help her cope every step of the way so she doesn't suffer as I have.

[@jacieparsons5972]

I found this video after I called my doctor to make n appointment for a referral to get ADHD testing. Im really just now learning what this all means and im a 25 year old trying to become an LPN struggling so hard to prioritize and time manage to the point I hate my life and want to be in bed all day instead of even talking to my own boyfriend who I love with all my heart. This video really helped me to solidify that now is the time I get help so I can give myself the best chance at being happy.

[@haint7709]

Just diagnosed at 63. So many common issues that are in this video. I'm as happy as i can be about the issue being diagnosised today. There are so many resources available and that women are finally being included in the diagnosis.

[@brooklynnmanahan6670]

Thank you so much. This video I think is the push I needed to get myself tested for ADHD. I've just always thought I was a failure and I've always wondered why it was so difficult for me to do anything! You've perfectly described my life and how I feel on a daily bases. It's funny I actually physically recoiled when you "how could you forget or I told you ten times and you still forgot" because I hear it so much. Thank you again❤️

[@nikkigotcutloose]

From the bottom of my heart, thank you so much for your time. I’m so glad I watched this video. I now know why me and my mother were never on the same page and I can stop blaming myself for thinking that it just came down to my fathers genetics or ethnicity because of her.

[@beesworld04]

This video is great! I’ve watched other videos but I saw myself in EVERY situation. My mom once told me I “live my life in chaos” and I’ve also said “I’m a perfectionist once I can get to things”. I have to schedule my Dr appt.

[@joannelyn]

Throughout my life, many people, from teachers to parents, classmates, colleagues, service staff, struggled to understand why I was different, or just not getting something others would understand with ease. Now, this is beginning to impact me. Prime example would be saying something, asking a question. which nobody else would need to ask. Or other kids, wondering why I wasn't interested in one thing, but focussed on something else. Thank you for sharing this video with the broader community. It has given me plenty of insight, and a desire to learn ways to support myself, and how to access the support I have been missing. it would help greatly if others could understand

[@andyrharris]

I just got diagnosed at 40. I was watching this feeling/thinking that it spoke to me so much, and then she said the line about the college professor who is great at teaching , but struggles to grade student work on time and I had to pause the video to breathe, that is literally me, that is my job and that is very much one of my struggles. This is an awesome video and I think I’m going to send it to a few people to help them, understand.

[@violetm9045]

Hubby is newly diagnosed and this really helped a lot. Thank you

[@sarahsmyth5383]

Glad I'm not alone, everyday I'm anxious

[@Tk_vk9]

Never felt so much relief like I feel now...I understand whats happening with me...I am half way thru the video and I cant stop myself from gng to comments...everything she says is relatable and its like she gave me a hug thru this video...I cant do laundry...I cant fold clothes...I cant play a game for more than 2 days...I cant finish my crochet projects...I cant think of one thing at a time...its always everything all at once...

[@fluffiestmarshmallow6164]

I'm crying while watching this. this video is exactly what I need. it explains the things that i've been feeling bad about myself