RECOGNIZING THE MANIPULATION OF TRIANGULATION!

Clearly see how narcissistic people try to control information flow by going through other people, their desired "flying monkeys." Are there other people in your relationship with the Hijackal who are being approached by the Hijackal to serve their purposes? Do they engage them? Learn how to think about all that!
SO important to recognize triangulation when it is happening! If it's already happened, you can benefit from seeing the interactions and taking action, too.
HIGHLIGHTS OF TODAY'S EPISODE:
🔹 What triangulation is and its purpose
🔹 Why Hijackals feel powerful using triangulation
🔹 How unsuspecting people get taken in by the Hijackals manipulations
🔹 What flying monkeys are
🔹 How flying monkeys play into triangulation and are seduced by a false sense of loyalty
The point of triangulation by a toxic person in a relationship is to create stress, confusion, anxiety for others while creating a sense of collusion with the narcissist, anti-social, histrionic, or other Hijackal. It works. It particularly works on you, the target, because you have learned to second-guess yourself and even question your sanity, in some cases.
Hijackals use triangulation because it makes them feel important and in control of the relationships, the one with you and the ones with others colluding with them.
Triangulation is when a toxic person brings a third person into a relationship so that the toxic person can remain in control and manipulate the situation. The whole strategy is toxic, too!
Why they do it, how they do it, and how to recognize it while it's happening is the topic of this episode.
Not sure how to begin setting boundaries with a toxic person in your life? I'm here to help.
* * Remember, narcissists and other toxic people come in all genders and ages * *
and toxic relationships can be at home, at work, at play... with your parent, boss, spouse, sibling, friend, co-worker.
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I am Dr. Rhoberta Shaler, The Relationship Help Doctor.
Are you in relationship with a Hijackal®? That's someone who consistently puts you down, love-bombs and gaslights you, creates confusion and chaos, and causes you to second-guess yourself? I can help you understand that kind of narcissistic behavior and how to keep yourself safe and sane.
As I work worldwide, through private, secure video conferencing. we can certainly work together to figure a few things out.
CONNECT WITH ME:
Website: www.ForRelatio...
Facebook: / relationshiphelpdoctor
Twitter: @RhobertaShaler
LinkedIn: / rhobertashaler
Instagram: @DrRhobertaShaler
KZbin: / forrelationshiphelp
Get my free ebook at www.Hijackals.com
Take my free checklists: www.forrelatio...
💙 Looking for relief from the pain, confusion and drama of toxic relationships? If you're ready to reclaim your power and have strategies for changing your relationship dynamics, keep watching my videos. When you're ready, let's talk.
You can take advantage of my one-time new client Consultation here (only $97 for a full hour)
www.ForRelatio...
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#triangulation #boundaries #Hijackals #toxicpeople #narcissists #difficultpeople #emotionalabuse #verbalabuse #stoptoleratingabuse #toxicrelationships #manipulation #walkingoneggshells #mentalhealth #emotionalhealth #narcissisticabuse #personalitydisorder
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Optimize Life Now LLC & Rhoberta Shaler, PhD makes no representations about the suitability of the content of this site for any purpose. All content is provided “as is” without any warranty of any kind.

[@mikecoleman9228]

Thank you Dr Rhoberta! My mother is the main narcissist and sister is her flying monkey. I’ve endured this tag team my whole life. I’m 59 and once again have gone no contact. This time I turned tables on them and gave family members my story. The two demons didn’t like that too much! Why is that? Ruins their delusional self image? Thank you! Joanne

[@ForRelationshipHelp]

You're welcome! Sharing your truth can be helpful, especially if the Hijackals are short on flying monkeys. I'm glad it worked for you.

[@Gugoon2007]

Dear Rhoberta It's said when the student is ready, the teacher appears. You appeared in my life at accurate time. That's the sign that angels do exist. Your words are full of experience and wisdom. It sometimes seem to me when I m listening to you that you are sending me the vibes. Thank you is a very small word. Immense blessings and love to you.

[@ForRelationshipHelp]

You are so welcome. Namaste.

[@Alibrose]

Attended therapy with me because they thought they would sway the therapist and it did not work.

[@ForRelationshipHelp]

Great!

[@denisejones881]

I SWEAR FO LAWD THIS LADY IS READING MY LIFE STORY! MY STORY IS ONE OF A STUDENT AND A PROFESSOR!

[@karenherrera287]

Thank you for sharing your marriage story. I look at you, and you are so smart and so strong. I look forward to complete healing like you

[@karenherrera287]

I am still learning new things from you! Thank you

[@crystals6352]

Excellent video. Very helpful I saw this play out a couple times. Last year I was wise enough to stay out of it. Many years ago a hyjackle tried to manipulate me as a flying monkey. They are very skilled at their technique. I feel very sad for the victim.

[@kpippink]

I am living this right now. The mother of my husband is a covert hijackal and I caught her talking to him on the phone telling horrible things about me and manipulating the conversation to the point saying it was ok for him to leave me pregnant alone with no insurance. For now we set up boundaries and are not taking to her. Unfortunately he can’t see the extension of how she has been doing it his entire life and affected our relationship really bad.

[@ForRelationshipHelp]

That's sad and difficult, for sure. Is your husband willing to work on this issue with you in counseling?

[@kpippink]

@@ForRelationshipHelp thank you for replying to my message. The first video I watched regarding the toxic in laws relationship was from you and I totally love it!!

[@Uberqueenbee]

Years ago I went to pick up my father-in-law before my stepdaughter's wedding. My son was with me and wanted to see his grandfather and when we arrived, my husband's 1st wife was present. I couldn't have created such a scenario, but she had been receiving my son's birthday and Christmas gifts for over a decade since his father had died along with the Christmas gifts my in laws would send for her children and she had kept them. It was brought up in front of my father-in-law and she started stammering and claimed she didn't know where we were because we moved so much and my son chimed in that she was lying because I told him he needed to keep in touch with his siblings himself, I couldn't take their mother and had given him his own address book when he was 6 years old.. He had always kept in touch. And she knew where my mother's house was, where she had lived since the sixties. She was shameless.. In the ensuing years, her lies only got bigger cothat bigger, even through her 3rd marriage she was pretending to be my husband's widow. In public settings. Yes somehow she has failed to ever suffer the consequences of true criminal acts much less all the Patty stuff she did. And my son can't comprehend why I might still be upset that he ever sees her under any circumstances much less holidays or as holidays or breaks bread with her considering how much trouble she caused for all of us.. A woman who had wanted to divorce my husband and initiated it and got it. I should have known, she fancied herself an actress and was the 3rd in a generational line of dance teachers.. The damage that she and her minions did was incalculable. And I am the bad guy for bringing it up.

[@ritadoran5039]

Thank so much Dr you always have great topics and very helpful advice bless you for it🥰

[@ForRelationshipHelp]

You are so welcome

[@annamonaco3363]

Yep this happened to me

[@amandabaker4496]

I think my stepson makes false allegations against my daughter and my husband always believes him. Its frustrating. He just lied to his mom about staying up all night while camping with us. I just dont understand why he doesnt think he would lie about my daughter?

[@ForRelationshipHelp]

That's difficult! It seems he may be trying to undermine the relationship between you and your husband. Could that be the reason?

[@amandabaker4496]

@@ForRelationshipHelp Thanks for your reply. I also wanted to say that in the past, I felt like my stepson was holding me”emotionally hostage”.He would refuse visitation with dad.He would ask if my daughters were home.If yes, he would say they were mean but the next time was no,& he said he would be bored.(contradictory statements)Then I felt like it was my fault my husband was missing visits w/ his son bcuz if my kids were the cause I should have done something.(I dont feel like that too much anymore)

[@sunshine-db2zm]

My mom did the same to me but none of her flying monkeys ever came to me at all they just heard her side and believe her completely...

[@wendyyoung9842]

Unraveled not happening never can be so I’ll talking about this problem is dad a lot more a lifetime bs. Loves actions being a prick I’m Claiming Grace to be there for me. Forever and a day. No one can remove Jesus is. My Way. He will make anew this today - the Rest must leave and pray not snooze my life likes away!

[@antonioespinoza5134]

The flying monkey is a close friend of the highjackal. I cut them off but I don't really think that's going to stop the triangulation

[@ForRelationshipHelp]

You're wise to cut them off. Then, if the triangulation continues, it's effects on you will be minimal.

[@taraarrington2285]

These demons are relentless.

[@d.m.schwarzer3729]

So here is another form of triangulation, I finde very little discussed online. Maybe you can cast some on this behavior? I try to describe it from 2 - 3 different angles. First, a couple of years ago, I dated this guy, who then started to talk about the other woman, who "is so much better than I was". I elskede away, wished him good luck. Well obviously , what I didn t understand back then, this was a strategy to put in more work to give him more fuel. The whole thing backfired enormously and ended with him stalking me for 3 years, as I was not interested in his bs. Now I m in this work situation, where I felt a bit triangulated as well. But more covert, as he ( a different person) ever said something concrete to me, while he was with the other woman. The only thing I recognized was he was looking for validation and attention from me more than usual. ... So a couple of weeks ago I ran all of a sudden into the other woman, and she came straight forward to me, and told me - that he speaks always so highly of me, and how much he loves me, and how raw I am , blabla. ( When in reality I feel he doesn t give a damn about me, even yells at me, and can be very verbally devalueating from time to time. I sort of felt confused to begin with, but I understand now, that I probably had to see the same coin from the other side. Only now, I was also being manipulated and triangulated by the other woman - as she wants to get rid of him. I feel this sort of triangulation is way too little discussed, and it really took me a while to figure this out. ..Maybe you can make a video on this?

[@NycoleIdris]

Triangle, they come at you on all three sides!! Cowardly tho, by illegally monitoring you, your life and including others without you knowing

[@NycoleIdris]

It becomes a game, catch the stalker, catch, person whose trying to hi jack your Life, behind the scenes!! You don't even talk to the person They reach out to people

[@NycoleIdris]

My ex and mother would hack my phone to record me then if I say something about someone they will alter the text or allow that person to hear me, the use we worry about her just to create discord and chaos If they were worried why would you intentionally want a person to hear me talk about them if I mention their name in a conversation or place I THINK I AM IN PRIVATE