Star Trek: Picard Season 2, Episodes 6, 7, 8, and 9 - re:View

[@williamgrimster1658]

Hearing Mike talk about how Picard has ruined old Trek for him was actually really sad. The man's favourite show in the whole world that he always talked about with such enthusiasm can't bring him joy anymore

[@markbisone6169]

It made me feel all the feels. I CRIED ACTUAL BUTTERFLIES AND RAINBOWS

[@EimiShahrizai]

I'm not there with the series overall, but damn if this hasn't ruined my feelings on Picard as a captain. Just knowing what Patrick Stewart actually wanted to do instead of the Picard we got is pretty damn stark. It's hard to feel that same love for Picard even in TNG knowing all this.

[@arbiter8246]

All things have to die.

[@LoLArchives]

@@arbiter8246 Not if Hollywood has anything to say about it! *slide-whistle noise*

[@UCannotDefeatMyShmeat]

@@LoLArchives “yeah this corpse has flesh falling off its face, but a little tape will fix that!” *replace android/alternate universe robots with Borg real quick*

[@counterfeitsaint7479]

The fact that Whil Wheaton has been shilling as hard as he physically can for this show since day 1 and he's the only cast member not invited back for season 3 will never not be funny to me.

[@schirmc1]

While that is laugh at out loud funny, he is a paid actor for Picard. His role is to shill. You have to be an actor to sell this crap as gold.

[@krampuskardashian5890]

@@logicplague He's qualified for the Upper Decks.

[@ZylonBane]

He talks like he's in an infomercial trying to sell the Slap-Chop 9000. It's just so laughably over the top.

[@shugaroony]

I don't watch this but they could have at least revisited Wesley's story once; as annoying as some found his character in TNG, he did have an arc and it might have been interesting to see what became of child genius Wesley Crusher - probably like a lot of high-functioning early geniuses, down in the gutter with the rest of us when they hit adulthood. That might have been something else to do, over this nonsense.

[@redpillcoach1855]

@@shugaroony They could have included him easily. In the books Wesley becomes a Traveler. Wesley could have been the mysterious time dude Guinan introduces him too. Thank Christ they didn't do that.

[@Acesman12345]

Now that Mike is too depressed to even acknowledge the existence of Star Trek, it's time for Jay to challenge him to another Star Trek trivia showdown. Strike now while his shields are down!

[@SK008]

This is a Last Jedi situation.. Jay is too dumb to attack at the right time at the right place..

[@sneakyking]

(Kharn theme intensifies)

[@Escayargo]

And have all the questions be only about Picard and STD

[@TerrenceNowicki]

@@sneakyking Jay: "I'm laughing at the 'superior intellect.'"

[@RandyHawkeye]

Jay keeps buzzing in and guessing wrong answers. Mike just stands there, silent and motionless, with a thousand yard stare.

[@keithvoss9048]

Mike's monologue is greater than anything Akiva Goldsman has ever written.

[@TheTaskmaster]

how far akiva "What killed the dinosaurs?" goldsman has fallen.

[@coralcomet]

And also Akiva Goldsman is obviously snorting a lot of coke 😐

[@mikedouglas9863]

It really was though, poetic

[@jasonbowman9521]

This is the only way I'll watch anything woke and yes Mike's delivery is truly Oscar worthy. I tried watching Strange New World's and as soon as Pike's Grand Daughter said " My security clearance is higher then yours." I felt myself do an eye roll. She's to young and inexperienced in my view to already have security clearance higher then Captain Pike's especially in these early days of the Federation where you would think some experience matters. I sound knit picky sure but I like a pinch of logic even in fun nonsense or it takes me out of that imagitive universe. I know this is suppose to be about Picard but Strange New World's was my last attempt to take Star Trek seriously-except the older stuff The Original and Next Gen. I only really liked Quark from Deep Spice Nine but all the old stuff is still a master piece compared to STD and Picard. Like an idiot I had believed we would get one new good Star Trek eventually but I must be suffering from Stockholm Syndrome.

[@jarradchapman4271]

"Three-time Razzie nominee (worst screenplay) Akiva Goldsman", you mean... Give him the respect he's due, y'all.

[@shweatypalms4423]

By Rich forcing Mike to watch season 2 of Picard he has ruined one thing Mike holds dear to his heart. Rich Evans has finally got his revenge for years of abuse.

[@aleksneedshelp]

It's not abuse if it's the elderly, just ask your lawyer!

[@michaelsteffeck6114]

You know Mike is truly sad when he doesn't add fart noises to Rich in the edit

[@johnnyzen4282]

@@garfself Rich lost his sanity long ago when Mike forced him to role-play a gay fireman.

[@sir0nion]

Jay wins in the end. If Mike stops watching Star Trek, then overtime he'll forget the details and Mike will no longer bring up Star Trek in HitB or BotW.

[@sir0nion]

@Bronlonious Until Paramount+ comes out with "Ghost Adventures: Bagans"

[@ItsAGundam]

This is the only way I will watch Picard

[@onwardsumo5189]

Have you passed out trying to listen to all of this yet?

[@MrThonius]

Agreed

[@berserkasaurusrex4233]

I've only ever experienced Picard, Discovery, and most of Disney's Star Wars through Mike and Rich's depressing reviews.

[@Mr-Garibaldi]

I support RLM and the Party Line ✊

[@ElewIV]

If Picard would have been on TikTok, I'm sure Papa Gundam would have reviewed it.

[@warlordofbritannia]

Rich calling Picard a “show for dumb people to feel smart for watching” is perhaps the most accurate assessment of modern Star Trek as a whole

[@stanley13579]

Big Bang Theory did that successfully, so they figured they'd try with this, too. Only more swearing, because "edgy".

[@axelhopfinger533]

So it's a show for the woke left TikTok generation.

[@doomstadt2371]

@@stanley13579 "but the jokes are scientifically accurate!!" So? That doesn't make them funny! Ugh i hated that show, but the defenders of it were the worst!

[@manjackson2772]

@@axelhopfinger533 no

[@warlordofbritannia]

@@axelhopfinger533 And they’re not even watching it 😂 I’ve only known one person under the age of 35 who’s into Star Trek and he was as far from being on the left as you can imagine

[@gewhiz1494]

The zoom in on the writer rubbing his ‘coke nose’ was both brilliant and explains everything.

[@whompronnie]

They must have changed the formula, because in the 80's, coke produced some really great films and television programs

[@diegocastaneda3829]

@@whompronnie Don't forget entire musical genres!

[@ManOutofTime913]

If he was on coke, this show would be a lot more interesting than it is.

[@SeanHyperfire_PS]

​@@ManOutofTime913Not if your dealer is Kurtzman

[@LiveforHM]

Happens at 34:09 for anyone wondering

[@bad-people6510]

"My mother hung herself..." despite the fact that in TOS they cured mental illness and in TNG Picard had a photo of his mother as an old woman. He also spoke with a phantom version of her as an old woman, as if she were perfectly recognizable as his mother. Also, he's right about the hung/hanged thing.

[@30noir]

As an educated Englishman, Stewart should know better. I can only imagine they put 'hung' in the script and he didn't bother to object.

[@BlueThe1up]

i feel like theres arguments to be had about the tos curing mental illness thing like we understand now that mental illness is a very complicated issue with a lot of facets and i fully love the idea of a world where theres no mental illness and we can just exist and be happy and not torture ourselves but i would like to see that interrogated someday of course it wont be interrogated by these writers because they didnt watch the show

[@mockturtlesuppe]

TOS abandoned the idea that they had cured mental illness immediately after that episode. There were episodes later in the very same series which people were noted to be mentally ill and no mention of the cure was made. The continuity issues are hardly new. ST:Picard addresses the vision of his mother in TNG by saying he would often imagine her as an old woman. The phantom image is clearly portrayed as a physical manifestation of Picard's imagination. That's like the whole premise of that episode. So, if he's just imagining it, it's reasonable that he would recognize her as his mother, despite the fact that she never reached that age. ST:Picard is not a great show. It's pretty dumb. But these pointless canon complaints are pretty much the dumbest criticism of the show.

[@LastCourier]

By curing they ment the ones caused by brain damage, which they do, for example in one of the voyager episode

[@mechadeka]

@@mockturtlesuppe Bro he literally has her old lady photo in his photo album.

[@fogwar]

The torture has ruined them so much that Rich is wearing a Christmas sweater out of season, and something has happened to Mike's fringe.

[@vanitymarks8798]

the fringe is just to protect what's left of mike's brain.

[@richardbuckley1232]

Or Mike’s bangs for us Americans 😀

[@CrimsonScrewdriver]

He's wearing the Christmas sweater to remind him of the time of the year when suicide rates are at their peak, because that's more joyful than the absolute state of Star Trek

[@Pixelkip]

Mikes lookin like emo band member circa 1990

[@Corbomite_Meatballs]

@@richardbuckley1232 As many drag queens would say "Not everyone looks good with a chopped bang".

[@UncleErnie71]

"Secular Blasphemy" is possibly Rich's best Richism to date. He's like a modern Mark Twain.

[@egamruf]

It really is fantastic. "Emotional Star Trek is secular blasphemy" explains it in a nutshell. I feel that could be expanded to cover the whole slate of modern sci fi, from the Star Wars sequels to things like Another Life. Where sci fi has succeeded (The Expanse, Arrival, Ex Machina, Devs, Severance, Annihilation), it doesn't ignore that humans are emotional animals, but it's more (or at least, as much) interested in its core concepts as it is the emotional stuff. The balance in a lot of things has been completely skewed.

[@bwpow]

What is the first one? Coupon shot? Edit: Well, I read it wrong. I don't know why I saw "Rich's second best..." New star trek probably broke my brain.

[@MrHutto1]

He also invented a new profession. Barberer

[@johnsanko4136]

It'd be a great heavy metal band name

[@astrosci8864]

I would have to agree here. It is glorious!

[@wibbleclarke6784]

It's way sadder than the death of a friend. It's seeing your friend live with dementia; he doesn't remember who you are and who he was.

[@dekachin6895]

Wesley Crusher IRL 30 years later managed to be more annoying than his character on the show.

[@Armathius76]

I didn't like Wesley... like everyone else. I ignored Wil Wheaton too, but this Wil makes me want to punch him in the face. Watching his joyous overacting about a show that is (like Mike feels) destroying all of Star Trek for me... it's worse than the show itself.

[@Escapist26]

Careful, he may have some sort of debilitating disease like Bruce Willis

[@MagpieDynamics]

He’s in serious need of a good, hard “shut up Wesley!”

[@justinb2824]

Still desperately searching for Patrick's approval I guess.

[@extreamaussieguy2968]

@@MagpieDynamics no it's "Shut Up Will"

[@vinesauce]

I cannot watch this show anymore. Thank you for suffering through it so I don't have to. EDIT: Mike's speech at the end actually made me feel sad. Wow, an actual emotion, something no nutrek has accomplished for me. I agree, let star trek die please.

[@homelessend8557]

Same here. Tbh, can't even watch the rest of the franchise anymore, it's just been pure disappointment since 2017.

[@WesWesley]

I'd rather be subjected to 50 seasons of the Grey Leno Show if the alternative was watching a single episode of nu-Star Trek.

[@pyro380]

This show will make Gene Roddenberry SPEEEEEEN in his grave.

[@ninjalokust]

Its like someone has lifted our collective foreskins while we sleep and then forced fire ants underneath and then filmed our collective pain as we wake up and need to travel to the hospital.

[@TheDarkIllumination]

I watched the first three episodes then couldnt stand anymore. As bad as season 1 was, there were at least a handful of decent moments that kept me watching through.

[@darrenjohns7570]

Wil Wheaton legitimately acting as if he is taking part in RLMs nerd crew parody is hilarious and sad at the same time.

[@d3nza482]

Naah... The feeling is cringe and disgust. Not sadness.

[@MisteRRYouTuby]

He didn’t pass auditions…

[@JarrettHouston]

@@MisteRRYouTuby I don't know, I don't think he could have made the show even worse. And we all know it's not quality they are looking for anyway.

[@patrickstuart3497]

There needs to be a long German compound word about the pain of having to witness Will Wheaton

[@mistercereal9624]

@@patrickstuart3497 Wheatonfreude

[@popnlocknes]

I have never watched a single episode of Picard but have watched every single one of Rich and Mike’s Picard videos multiple times. I think this was the way to go

[@roncarv1121]

I'm split between wanting new trek to not exist because of what it's doing to star trek and loving watching Rich and Mike hate it

[@RaptorRockDrakeJesus]

I've seen picard season 1 only bc my mom made me watch it with her. It's as bad as they say

[@richardgarcia1184]

Same

[@MrDrako2012]

At this point I'm watching Picard just to stay up to date with these

[@JohnSmith-df7uo]

You know.....when no food is present, as a last ditch effort, pelican mothers will stab themselves with their beak so that their children can drink their blood for nourishment. Thank you Mike and Rich for being our pelicans.

[@davemeyers6474]

Is next season going to be ST: Pelican?

[@lawrencescales9864]

Not true but, the thought counts

[@michaelstein7510]

Our state flag in Louisiana is actually based on that, funny enough. Thanks to Rich and Mike for watching this garbage so we don’t have to.

[@TunezCottage]

They don't actually do that, it's a myth, but yeah like Lawrence said: it's the thought that counts.

[@spillanegottleib1681]

Your example is for the birds.

[@Jokoko2828]

Mike's bullshit speech with Rich's ghost floating over his shoulder was a thing of beauty.

[@Huggbees]

This show just keeps on giving...pain.

[@thepolarphantasm2319]

How it's Really Made: Stomach Ulcers

[@rapter229]

There isn't a rinsing machine in existence powerful enough to clean my brain of this pain.

[@BeetsBeetsBeetsBeets]

You love it.

[@usefulrooster9600]

And you know pain Mr. "I streamed every Dangonrampa Game and also the entirety of Persona 5 Royal".

[@Erreul]

Yuuuuuup

[@megapixzel]

Transcript of Mike's speech: Time is something you wish you could reverse, the things you see in the scars left on your soul. We wish we could backtrack them all into the infinite cosmos of time. Time echoes, like a butterfly’s wings, when we see that change us as the people we once were; but, will soon become or grow into. If we reverse the time into our lives, we have to recognize the moments that we share with each other now are priceless, and if we rake those moments in time and we appreciate and love them and truly realize that when we look up at the night sky and see the stars as they are, those stars once were different stars and we realize in here, we become something new. I like to think the speech starting off as something approaching prose before turning into a grammar destroying run on sentence was intentional

[@serberus5233]

All of it is so true!! I cried butterfly tears!

[@manwithoutfear05]

Thank you so much for transcribing this!

[@alanpods2]

It’s actually quite beautiful

[@Tesla_Death_Ray]

I have literally no words. I'm getting goosebumps.

[@A_Haunted_Pancake]

@@alanpods2 You've been told by its creator himself, that this is total pseudo-philosophical gobbledygook, yet you're still admiring it ? That's quite impressive - but not in a good way.

[@Dragonpsychologist]

“There are some people who don’t watch Star Trek… they just listen to us talk about it.” That’s me! He’s talking about me!! I CLAPPED WHEN HE SAID THAT!!!

[@jashm3915]

I think we're trekkies now

[@Bloodynine606]

I KNOW WHAT THAT IS

[@bencarlson4300]

Yet we’re all bigger Trek fans than Alex Kurtzman

[@Psilocybin77]

AT ST AT ST!

[@idHeretic]

@@jashm3915 uuuuuuuuggggghhhhhhhh

[@z41m0kum1zu]

Mike and Rich then: Picard Season 2 isn’t too bad so far! Mike and Rich now: *There is nothing but pain.*

[@Knightfall182]

The fires of hell burning harder than S1.

[@HansKlopek]

I knew their sliver of hope was foolish.

[@Jammet]

We need a fan-edit. Picard minus Picard. Just like with Garfield. I think this would be hilarious ... going unnoticed by many.

[@greenoftreeblackofblue6625]

It's basically a stock that always goes down. short that stock

[@The_Butt_Cracker]

I mean, they already knew that it was going to get this bad. They were just surprised it didn't completely start off that way.

[@marcespinoza6068]

I love hearing "We won't be watching season 3", it brings back fond memories of them saying "We won't be watching season 2".

[@robovinefilms1811]

It's like poetry: it rhymes

[@jpetras16]

I hope they continue this series tbh. I enjoy their suffering.

[@weedpuff]

Haha, I thought that too, but he didn't give a speech at the end about a part of his life/soul being crushed. I think this might be karma for all the crap he gives Rich and Jay.

[@biggielittle1384]

Considering that they’re bringing back the entire TNG cast out of sheer desperation (except for Wil Wheaton lol,) they’re going to be forced into watching season 3 just to see how big of a dumpster fire it’s going to be.

[@jorgamund07]

@@biggielittle1384 This time, it will be Jay forcing both of them to watch it.

[@sugarcombfilms3467]

Hearing Rich Evans sympathize with Star Wars fans after watching Star Trek rot from inside and seeing its corpse danced around for every penny they can get is a bitter sweet catharsis.

[@psmith6512]

Agreed

[@splicer0169]

Jay's now experienced it with the Exorcist. It's all fun and games till its ur favorite things turn.

[@Martin-xd4jl]

I felt more for Mike during his Stand by Me metaphor than I did for any character in either season of Picard.

[@JustSomeGoy]

Hit me right in the feels too😥

[@Domus_Maximus]

Mike's "Stand By Me" comparison had more genuine emotion behind it than anything Alex Kurtzman could write.

[@smirking8457]

It applies to virtually every beloved IP in the current year

[@dakcity]

@@smirking8457 Yup pretty much how I feel with Halo right now lol

[@hentaidadTFR]

I legit felt bad for Mike, especially this time around, he's watched the whole thing burn right infront of him, so you could tell his analogy was at least heartfelt, it's how you know they cared (at one point lmao)

[@MusicoftheDamned]

Stuff like this is why I feel lucky to have no real attachment to any brands or franchises. Closest I can personally ever got to the feeling was when Capcom bodied all of the _Mega Man_ series for like three years and when Overlord Disney was trying to deemphasize and even kill off the X-Men when FOX still held the rights, and even then both of those things mostly righted themselves. (R.I.P. _Mega Man Legends 3_ though, and unfortunately Disney still owns Marvel as a whole.) I imagine that saying the feeling fucking sucks is a vast understatement. Reminds me of the vague sympathy I had for _Star Wars_ fans when Disney was ravaging that series.

[@jamesmills2163]

I'm genuinely sad that Star Trek has been ruined for Mike. I could tell Rich was genuinely concerned for Mike too.

[@Kyle-sr6jm]

Rich is a great actor.

[@nameynamename3758]

i mean if you can't seperate a show you love from what 40 years ago from a new show that's completely different with new hack writers i don't feel bad

[@seanlynch6737]

These guys have protected old Trek for me. I actually got emotional at Mike telling us he can't watch it any more. I'm so sorry bro, your grief is real. We are all here for you.

[@haruthewhiteninja]

It's truly, honestly, sad.

[@GuineaPigEveryday]

me too, even though Star Wars got screwed over for me as well, I've been able to avoid watching Picard, and luckily saved myself from Discovery after seeing the first season. I mean I see people excited for Strange New Worlds but I doubt it'll do much. Also I understand what Mike means when he sees Picard's face in TNG becuz honestly the way they ruined his character, and how Stewart himself ruined it for a cash-grab, definitely makes it hard to avoid being reminded of that

[@Chronz]

Let go of your emotional attachments. The globalists know you love these franchises. You must evolve past your childhood, become something harder

[@Kable_TV]

Rich evans is dancing funnily He says “you know your phone camera is always looking at you” “Can I have some water?” Asks Mike Alice Barbara hands crossed with a frown stretched across her face tells mike sternly “no, you may not” Mike had a few he’s probably parched he should have a drink I think it’s fucked up Alice Barbara won’t let him have a drink After some deliberation they bring him a cup of water This water tastes weird” Mike grunts “That’s becuase it’s not water it’s alker seltzer, get some rest” Alice Barbara says Mike was deceived he thirsted for water They gave him alka seltzer when he had asked for water and didn’t tell him what it was Now Mike is cautious he doesn’t trust these secret agents now he wonders if it’s really alka seltzer or if that alka seltzer is only there to cover up a drug put into the drink to put him to sleep He remembers her words “get some rest” The fbi has drugged Mike Stocklossa his head grows light his eyelids grow heavy and he passes out Rich is furious His childhood friend is unconscious on the floor He begins weeping Jays eyes remain dry, not at all surprised by the drugging I can hear Rich evans yell at the top of his lungs “it’s ALL TRUE” I hear a beeping noise A distinct “Clear!” A defibrillator is pressed to mikes chest to resuscitate him Mikes eyes open back up Mike stocklosa says “my heart stopped…”

[@yurifairy2969]

@@Chronz ooookay then don't OD on redpills alex jones

[@juliovictormanuelschaeffer8370]

_"How does it feel to have lived long enough to see all your franchises go down in flames?"_ _"Feels great"._

[@gelraldoldo5152]

Great like the Great War or depression. Those were the days.

[@brandonlink6568]

Babylon 5 is getting a reboot and Amazon just bought Stargate so we're not done yet.

[@juliovictormanuelschaeffer8370]

@@brandonlink6568 why are we sent here? Just to suffer?

[@brandonlink6568]

@@juliovictormanuelschaeffer8370 the lesson to be learned here is never enjoy anything because it will eventually be ruined by greedy executives.

[@codinghusky5196]

@@brandonlink6568 NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo......................

[@StevenOBrien]

I never thought the day would come when I'd see "the whole TNG cast are reuniting for a new Star Trek season" and just feel my stomach turn at the thought of it.

[@Parallelwurlds]

The only way I’d be excited about it is if the hired brannon braga or Ronald d Moore

[@RobinOttens]

It's such a shame. I would absolutely love to see all these actors together on screen again. But not as written by this show's writers.

[@saiyanaurag8845]

They'll all get to direct their own episodes. Lol it's gonna be hot trash

[@pootispenser5089]

I can only imagine Michael Dorn, Gates McFadden and the others watch that garbage fire and say: "Wait, can we get a paycheck, too? And can Wheaton go screw himself?"

[@StevenOBrien]

@@Parallelwurlds Dude, I would take fucking Rick Berman and his wallpaper music back at this point. Just put RIck Berman back in charge. Please.

[@MrJellyton]

I want season 3's re:View to just be Jay and Josh talking about how much they loved it.

[@urishima]

In Straightjackets, with the orderlies standing next to them.

[@brandonlink6568]

I wish I could tell you that season 3 was great and that they loved it. I wish I could tell you that, but the writers still just don't know what they're doing.

[@doctabaldhead]

Nah, they would despise it for entirely different reasons. I could see Jack alone rambling to himself about how much he likes it or something.

[@garrettdark5668]

Actually I think this is a pretty great idea, have the non-Star Trek fans of the RLM crew review season 3 so it'd be unbiased when they also conclude it's a train-wreck from a non-trekie perspective. That way the excuse of "old-trekie fans just not liking new trek because it's different" can't really be said.

[@fonkyfesh-old]

Jesus christ this made me spit my coffee

[@nathanbeaudoin3828]

Man I love when Mike and Rich watch something they despise and talk about it

[@BrentStarling]

@@Xavier_Coogat_the_Mambo_King Well I just love listening to people’s criticisms, whether they’re repetitive or not.

[@RiposteBK]

Can't wait for the Obi Wan Kenobi show

[@whitenoise0065]

outsourcing

[@DroolingLizard]

Especially when I haven't watched a second of it

[@larzkruber822]

@@RiposteBK you think it will be bad?

[@SportsGhost]

I think back to a young, wistful Mike Stoklasa who thought Star Trek: Generations was such a departure from the true TNG that he launched a review series and character that changed film criticism on the internet forever.

[@scotteous]

That’s a great point!

[@TheGava4]

I've always loved GENERATIONS the photography is beautiful. The dialogue and pacing is poor but I've still liked it.

[@AmericanZergling]

@@TheGava4 Generations and First Contact were dumb, but I could still watch them again and the characters still acted appropriate for the most part. I'd watch them both before Star Trek V again. Insurrection was abominable. I ignore it entirely. Nemesis just felt tired. It doesn't feel very 'Star Trek' and the pacing is bizarre, but I guess I could watch it again if someone else really wanted to for whatever reason.

[@caseyl1440]

Considering his old age, I don't think he was young

[@sharonc9618]

Hw needs to re-watch TMP so he can retain some love for ST (old version)

[@ohlordy4567]

The contrast of Rich and Mike’s overlapping and dreary dialogue with Will Wheaton’s overly forced enthusiasm is putting me on an emotional path that I have not yet traveled

[@OptimusN1701]

You're boldy going where no one has gone before.

[@jakobsichler8775]

@@OptimusN1701 boldy going where no one ever should go.

[@swansonjoe7121]

I thought it was just my phone not syncing the audio properly :/

[@DagobertX2]

So I guess you haven't watched Picard season 2. 😂

[@joeleustice]

Let's see Will's enthusiasm when he has to react to season 3, the only "main" cast member to not be invited back to be on the show.

[@rahn45]

Picard with his robot body (basically Data's body) gets hit by a car (where the car should lose), is taken to a doctor instead of a mechanic or engineer... They beam down the appropriate 'brain tool' to help Picard, and instead of one of the trained officers using the device they hand it over to the doctor who has no clue what that device does. Which is like handing a defibrillator to a plague doctor and expecting him to know how it works. And also gets a mind meld. Either they retconned how androids work, or they retconned Picard being a robot, or both, or they don't care; or all of the above.

[@RichardBarclay]

He's not an Android like Data he's an Android more like replicants in Bladerunner, biologically indistinguishable from humans.

[@Shockblock99]

@@RichardBarclay Then he's not an android! Replicants aren't androids!

[@RichardBarclay]

@@Shockblock99 remind me they name of the book that Bladerunner is based on?

[@PraxesArdenn]

@@RichardBarclay Have you read it? Blade Runner barely resembles it.

[@RichardBarclay]

@@PraxesArdenn yes I have and the main crux of the movie, that androids are indistinguishable from humans, is present in the book.

[@JohnJones-ir8ce]

Wil Wheaton plays such a convincing villain in these Star Trek: Picard reviews.

[@stealthmooserules]

My phone has started to autocorrect his name to Shill Wheaton. I don't know if I should be amused or concerned, since this show taught me AI is the big evil.

[@burgertim7878]

He's just happy to get paid.

[@regularnormal]

lmao

[@Martin-xd4jl]

@@burgertim7878 I'm not sure if it's just wishful thinking or projection on my part, but something about that horrible rictus grin and forced 110% enthusiasm he's got going on make me think he's hated every second of the new show and he's dying inside through every second of the promo material. I think Will Wheaton comes off as kind of an ass at times, but he's always struck me as someone with a genuine love of and appreciation for TNG.

[@HellsFallenAngel1]

Wil Wheaton, trying vainly to convey genuine enthusiasm, "There are Five Lights"; knows those emotions are disingenuous.

[@rockpaladin9031]

Mike's ending note on being done with Star Trek was a real punch to the gut. Damn.

[@aldunlop4622]

I made the same decision last week. I’m going to watch next week, only because it’ll irritate me if I don’t watch the last episode, but then, that’s it, I’m done. Deleting my subscription, and never watching anything by Kurtzman or Abrams ever again.

[@IrisCorven]

@@dominicmarazita6058 You could even say his journey to the Dark Side is complete.

[@SenorBigDong69]

@@aldunlop4622 you’ll be back for Strange New Worlds

[@aldunlop4622]

@@SenorBigDong69 nah,I’m officially done. I’ll wait 10 years and hope the franchise moves on to someone who actually cares about it.

[@SenorBigDong69]

@@aldunlop4622 sure buddy, I’ll keep a seat open for you anyway

[@jakefairley6993]

You guys should get Wil Wheaton on an episode of Best of the Worst, he seems like a really down to earth and a totally 100% genuine person

[@cobracommander8133]

😂🤣😂🤣

[@sir0nion]

And Dave Wascavage is a genius and visionary director.

[@natelax1367]

Oh man I would pay good money to see him watch that abortion horror movie with the killer sewer fetus from BOTW.

[@ChrisCarterWanderinChild]

Little Known Fact: Federation starships are powered by a controlled reaction between Macauley Culkin and Wil Wheaton

[@RobertJRoman]

And Alex Kurtzman

[@TheMattastic]

Mike's impressions of Picard's rambling emotional monologues are better than every single scene of Star Trek: Picard.

[@VentriloquismCo]

I’ve always loved Mike’s absurdist humor but he actually seems genuinely weary here. First discovery, then the Shatner fight, and now Picard. Understand why the dude is off his favorite thing.

[@DomVonDoom]

Well they say "trouble always comes in three's"....

[@SeagullsGather]

Force Awakens, Last Jedi and the other one. 2 dead 'franchises'.

[@Flashlegz]

Good thing he has his ghost stories to fall back on

[@kawuniadarunia2]

Since both Star Trek and Star Wars are dead for him now, the only thing left for him to do before dying is a Plinkett review for Indiana Jones 5.

[@bojovic78]

@@DomVonDoom trouble always comes in sevens of nines

[@andyelkerton361]

"I've seen the body" is a phrase that can be applied to so many current franchises. It's a battlefield out there, and we're in the middle of no man's land.

[@BoyWithTheCoolName]

Ironically, the Battlefield franchise is also a new body

[@billyfloyd2872]

Star Wars was the first body, it was wounded in 1983 then murdered in 1999, what we saw in 2015-2019 was a reanimated zombie.

[@christiansonderfeld2793]

At least they won't ruin Back to the Future!

[@MW-cx3sb]

The woke infestation has destroyed everything they touch.

[@Kriizikaan]

@@christiansonderfeld2793 ha yea, i can't believe they're remaking that

[@videopotamus6047]

Feel so sad for Mike losing his best friend Star Trek. He loves it so much. It was like watching a child who just lost their dog. Sorry, Mike.

[@Skusioh]

Getting roasted by William Shatner left a mark as well i guess ^^"

[@d3nza482]

He's takin one for the team. The team Humanity. He is paying the ultimate sacrifice so that ALL OF US could live with ourselves beyond the existence of Jar Jar Trek. In a way, his suffering for our entertainment makes him the Jesus for the modern age. Minus the whole lepers thing. Mike doesn't do lepers. Sorry lepers. Have you tried less conventional solutions, like 20th century medicine? I heard that those ancient healers had knowledge of powerful remedies called antyubeeyeoptiks.

[@squ1sh]

I cackled out loud thinking of Picard waking up saying "I've had the most FUCKED UP dream!" That scene is cannon as far as I'm concerned. In my head.

[@mmjahink]

Out of character for TNG Picard but easily in character for ST:P Picard

[@CreeperOnYourHouse]

There's that one episode where he lived 40 years in a few minutes because of an ancient alien space probe....

[@JarrettHouston]

That moment, when Mike "gets real" for a second, genuinely made me feel bad. I felt bad for him, but also about the state of Star Trek. I can't think of another show that made people feel this way, I'm only certain that no show, that supposedly was made for entertainment even, ever should. Although I would have loved to watch their review of Season 3, I fully understand and respect that they won't do this to themselves any longer. Thanks for all the great entertainment guys, we sure as hell couldn't have gotten it from that show.

[@mechadeka]

I'm sure we'll get an edgy grimdark reboot of MASH at some point that's about killing all the bad guys.

[@Lirka_906]

@@mechadeka the fact that we just got a dark and edgy reboot of Fresh Prince of all things, says anything is possible.

[@JohnDoe-xf2ke]

Star Trek was built on a noble vision of humanity, however, this travesty of Star Trek is what actually results from a philosophy of pure "equality." Petty squabbling and deconstruction of heroic figures. If you want to reclaim a noble future, you have to reject the lies that were embedded in Star Trek to begin with and rebuild from a vision of humanity that embraces hierarchy, order, and heroism.

[@g_e_o_m9369]

@@mechadeka Don't you fucking dare put ideas in their head.

[@stefan1024]

@@Lirka_906 I want ALF as gritty reboot.

[@biggielittle1384]

“New Trek is the dumbest writing that has ever been committed to paper.” - Rich Evans, who also watched Ryan’s Babe

[@1skulldan]

Bold of you to assume Ryan's babe had an actual script

[@biggielittle1384]

@@1skulldan To be fair, the fact that there is a distinct possibility of retconning the first two seasons into being a fever dream should indicate Picard doesn’t have a real script either. (Comment edited for clarity, unlike the show)

[@YevOnegin]

Ryan's Babe, unironically, had a stronger premise than Picard. Whether it had an actual written script is debatable, but the superior premise is without question

[@odigity]

I'd rather watch Ryan's Babe.

[@anthonypuch8473]

Ryan's Babe is fucking Casablanca compared to this visual gonorrhea.

[@caseysmith4206]

This was the saddest video Redlettermedia has every released. “What was once magical to me…is no more”

[@robertx1603]

This one plus the Shatner fight which you could see gutted Mike. This was the final nail.

[@michaelbeemer8019]

"I have dreamed a dream, but now that dream is gone from me."

[@Zontar82]

@@robertx1603 what Is this Shatner fight you guys talk about

[@underwaterlevelz1947]

+Casey Smith Check out the vid Mike Stoklasa A Star Wars Story by Plumwax

[@mikfhan]

"Fate, it seems, is not without a sense of irony." -- It took both franchises' writing crews nuking them into oblivion, but maybe now from the ashes the Star Trek and Star Wars fandom can finally move on. I guess this is what growing old means - your heroes eventually let you down. May the 4th be with us all - live long and prosper!

[@Dazkkai]

Will Wheaton could easily be part of the cast for the Nerd Crew podcast.

[@stevenlannister184]

Nerd Crew looks more accurate every year.

[@RogueAstro85]

He wouldn't even understand that they're being ironic, he'd just be ecstatic that he found 3 other people just like him

[@aarondavis8943]

Red Alert!

[@windgraceproject]

"Grief the final frontier. These are the traumas of the Star Trek writing crew. Their continuing mission, To explore painful old memories, to seek out old wounds and old miseries. To lamely go where their therapist recommended they go."

[@billygreggory7899]

Omg.

[@NCRRanger7753]

(Theme played entirely out of farts)

[@RipOffProductionsLLC]

to quote the intro to an amazing star trek RPG stream("Star Track" by the Courtesy Flush, featuring Tex of Tex Talks BattleTech as the captain who delivers said intro); "...Yes, we collect space garbage..."

[@willamahrens538]

I am convinced that any average, life long fan of Star Trek could produce a far superior version of Picard. Like literally go to any convention and pick the first person with Spock ears and make them the show runner.

[@dunningkruger5823]

It's amazing to think of it that way, but you're right.

[@1SaG]

Doesn't that show exist already? Because what you're describing sounds a lot like "The Orville" to me.

[@LastCourier]

To be fair i was in a few star trek ttrpg session and gms always make stories like this

[@ScottyKirk1]

As cheesy as the fan production Star Trek Continues could be, you could just tell they loved the material and understood the characters implicitly. The dumbasses in charge now, obviously could obviously care less about the legacy of the franchise and what it means to people.

[@MarmiteMangoMachine]

So true that one could make the case that it is a deliberate act of cultural demoralization.

[@Keira_Blackstone]

the random cuts to Wil Wheaton shilling are an amazing piece of editing that really drills home how soulless this show is.

[@Kyle-sr6jm]

*Trying to imagine the reality where Will Wheaton has a soul.

[@mangalores-x_x]

@@Kyle-sr6jm hey, he has mental issues (he is open about it) and supports a family. We all have to make a living. He is not responsible for the train wreck of new Trek, he just needs work.

[@KiltedCritic]

It's Shill Wheaton.

[@Pauly421]

Editing Wheaton overreacting to everything during the intro was HILARIOPOUS

[@LumpyTouch]

Some of the worst television I've ever watched. An AI could write this show better. Thank you to Mike and Rich for slogging through this, I only watch Picard to suffer along with them. If they are both done, I'll gladly tune out.

[@hannibalb8276]

We don't know an AI didn't actually generate these scripts

[@GillesVandenoostende]

Love your work lumpy

[@LikaLaruku]

I tried watching another episode after Angry Joe ranted about it, but after 5 minutes I could feel my brain cells dying & decided to watch Hey Arnold instead.

[@noahsichel7764]

If you watch it as an extremely aware comedy it's watchable

[@RayLilith]

@@LikaLaruku everybody to the limit!

[@BenHeckHacks]

Ya'll are heroes. Like soldiers going off to war, and dealing with the PTSD so the rest of us don't have to.

[@O1OO1O1]

Thank you for your service.

[@Borgforce]

Didn’t you mean: STPSTDPTSD?

[@SomeOrangeCat]

Ben Heck parroting the haters. I never thought I'd see it.

[@TheNervousnation]

These tasks have taken years off their lives.

[@Gopslav]

And they keep going back, it's the only way they know how to live now

[@strawbarry7834]

"Secular blasphemy" is the most concise term I have ever heard, not just for Star Trek, but for *all* of these beloved franchises that have been destroyed before our eyes. Absolutely brilliant.

[@camdflage]

Terminator, alien, ghost busters, star wars to name a few. RIP original, quality content.

[@BenHeckHacks]

I like to call it "cultural vandalism"

[@SomeKindaSpy]

@@camdflage Halo, for some of us who like video games.

[@autolosss]

Doctor Who under Chibnall's current run

[@johnbrown1860]

@@camdflage I will respectfully disagree a little here. A lot of the franchises mentioned above never really were franchises, or at least not "successful" long lasting ones as we'd understand it. They are one (or two or at most three) popular and successful movies that quickly spawned worse content. Like the 2016 Ghostbusters movie was bad but I can't really see how it "ruined the franchise" when the second movie was panned and Ghostbusters was otherwise a Saturday morning cartoon that got cheap and bad very quickly. Star Trek is a bit different because it had five different television series with 28 combined seasons, plus however many movies. It was a thing that had its ups and downs and its innovations, but had its core outlook and value system, and it absolutely *worked*. But then ever since 2008 or whatever CBS I guess just decided to throw absolutely all of that out the window, and has been surprised that the results have been so bad. Like, the formula is *right there*.

[@chrisguevara]

"He was hit by a car...Not a Science Fiction beam" made burst out laughing

[@rafbeard4975]

What I thought during Mike's monolgue; He just kept talking and talking, moving from topic to topic so that no one had a chance to interrupt him. It was quite hypnotic.

[@jamesepace]

Perfect!

[@Johnny-rx4hs]

I couldn't help but hear the Picard Song while reading that

[@skinder124]

@@Johnny-rx4hs aaaaaaaand now i'll be hearing it for the next couple of days

[@abrax23]

Not only is that an apt quote, but it's a good example of the kind of charisma that Picard and the other characters had in TNG that is completely absent in New Trek.

[@steve-from-toronto]

My new ASMR.

[@ironrex6979]

“Secular Blasphemy” this is the quote of the century. Bless what is left of Rich’s soul. I’m dying here 😂

[@RipOffProductionsLLC]

I mean, if you've seen how totalitarian politics work, there's a reason they call the culture around many dictators a "cult of personality".

[@Miketar2424]

I love the concept and impact of this term very much, and I only have to consider how to use it wisely.

[@TheMrAmberlamps]

Even though you guys are probably clinically depressed from watching Picard, I sincerely hope we get more Mike and Rich's fav TNG episodes!

[@nunyabizness6595]

Their review of Strange New Worlds will be very interesting.

[@NubileReptile]

I'm hoping for discussion of Deep Space Nine. They've talked a lot about TNG, but I'm genuinely curious to hear what they liked and disliked about its immediate successor series, since it changed so much. Mike's speech at the end leaves me pessimistic we'll ever get a video about it, though. Kind of a bummer.

[@jpetras16]

@@NubileReptile more like DogShit9

[@TheMrAmberlamps]

@@NubileReptile Mike did seem genuine in saying it has ruined his enjoyment of the old series. Maybe this is the end of Star Trek on RLM :(

[@DreamwalkerFilms]

16:50 Rich's quiet smile when Mike simply mentions "The Next Generation", as if he's looking back at a beautiful life that was once lived

[@jadenkarpoff9158]

I see Mike's paying homage to The Fanatic with his Moose cosplay. Honestly it wouldn't be surprising if Moose had a hand in writing some of these scripts...

[@frankmerker630]

Poppycock

[@cebraulkenne8571]

Mike does look regal as fuck.

[@whompronnie]

Mike is in the house!

[@glitchedoom]

Heeeere's Mikey!

[@blueblood2486]

Moose would write a better script

[@Freshy300]

That 80-year old Patrick Stewart impression was so spot on, just like Mike's Palpy's impression.

[@oneinathousand2156]

Someone NEEDS to do an animated version of Mike’s epic monologue as Picard.

[@Corbomite_Meatballs]

@@oneinathousand2156 The internet will provide, I have no doubt.

[@swagromancer]

He's got his speech pattern down to a T, it was beautiful.

[@krenwregget7667]

I really appreciated Mike getting real at the end and how he feels about Star Trek is how I've felt about Star Wars for a long time. Not only do have to watch something you loved so much die but you also have to watch countless idiots lap it up and call it amazing. It's like you live in an alternate reality where nothing makes sense.

[@BawdyBadger]

I feel the same. Star Wars, A Song of Ice and Fire (Game of Thrones) and now Star Trek.

[@lovablesnowman]

Well it is Mike's fault Star Wars is rubbish now. So there's that

[@walterloehrmann5213]

It just means that we're getting older.

[@walterloehrmann5213]

@@lovablesnowman because he suggested in his Star Trek (2009) review that Abrams should direct Star Wars movies?

[@wwyd4akb]

@@walterloehrmann5213 someone must bear the blame, might as well make Mike the martyr

[@apocryphalbebop]

44:33 Is honestly one of the heartbreaking things I’ve ever heard. Having watched and rewatched every RLM program regularly since 2015 and gained an uncanny knowledge of Star Trek (something I’ve absorbed maybe an episode of in my entire life otherwise) through Mike Stoklasa and now hearing him say that it’s been dirtied in a way he can’t recover from leaves me deeply, unfathomably saddened.

[@qjc1142pigs]

At least season 3 healed that wound by miraculously Being good. Against all odds

[@vanzzini]

"The Stand by my" analogy is powerful. Mike is a genius. I think we all grew up a little after this video.

[@meatstring]

Man I've had a few laughs from RLM over the past few years but that analogy broke me into tears of laughter.

[@0675rs]

And a lot of us threw up after watching "Picard" Season two :P

[@dixonhill1108]

You can pretty much extend this to all of sci fi at this point.

[@sithlordzach8418]

@@meatstring Not tears of laughter, dude. Just tears. It's the death of nostalgia. All the warm, fuzzy feelings of Star Trek or Star Wars are just gone. All we're left with is a profound sense of loss and regret.

[@ChibiViolin]

I like how Rich realises the genius that is occurring and just goes along with monologue.

[@wjlasloThe2nd]

That monologue melted all the fat on Rich's heart

[@phunkracy]

35:29

[@karenlusted298]

I think Rich is just so proud of his apprentice and how far he's come along with his improvisational monologues.

[@chimeratheo1855]

I think the thing that pissed me off the most was when Raffi told Seven that "It was okay to be a Borg." As if she needed someone to tell her that. As if she didn't spend several seasons on Voyager exploring that side of herself, and deciding for herself that it was okay to be what she was. As progressive as this show claims itself to be, its shockingly not.

[@Thanatos2k]

Bold of you to assume the writers watched Voyager.

[@jthom0027]

@@logicplague Thank you for bringing that up. It always drives me fucking crazy when I hear about these shows being written by progressive types. These assholes are not progressive. If a vote to help people get better wages came up, these pieces of shit would vote it down because of the affect on their stock portfolio. These people are empty suits who only have moneyed interests. If being horrendous bigots was fashionable with the majority of society, this show would be full of cis white men blasting a rainbow coalition of borg.

[@davidanderson4748]

That’s because the “writers” of this show have the perfect blend of stupidity and arrogance to think that they are the first ones to think of this stuff.

[@Wraiths_and_Wreckage]

'You've spent your life running from this.' No she effing hasn't. She was frickin proud to be borg, thought she was better than mere humans for a long time. 'Of course I can do it, I'm Borg.' If they had confined it to the last twenty years, maybe. Like, she's wanted to be rid of it and fit in more, cuz toward the end of voyager that was a thing. So it might be a nitpick but it was like... one of many things with seven they screwed up. I shouldn't be surprised, but they barely talk about seven so I've been blissfully unaware until I read some articles this week. Mistake.

[@jameskingman1227]

I mean if you really want to go a bit deeper, Voyager aloud 7 to realise she was neither human nor Borg any more and she had to discover what she really was and what role she had to play, much like Data discovering his role in the universe. I just don’t know what this show is trying to say…

[@misterwishart]

35:29 - Setting a tag for myself because I will be back here for Mike's sarcastic Picard speech for years to come

[@goranpiljic9362]

Thanks, I just needed it myself.

[@thealexis6647]

Damn, when Mike said he can’t even watch it again with the “Stand by me” analogy, it broke my heart man. It’s not *just* that it was bad, but it hurt so deep that it broke the magical bond with a show that he has admired for years. Isn’t that like one of his favorite things?! I really feel for people who still give a $H¡+

[@Goldenbaba430]

This was their goal all along. To destroy any hero’s that are left.

[@MegaGanash]

@@IVthHorseman That's really, really sweet man

[@raptorshinryu]

​@@IVthHorseman I feel the same way about Star Wars. If the people handling your franchise have no fucking clue on how the world works, or how characters act, or just deliberately go against all those things, it's nothing more than bad fan fiction. It doesn't deserve to be critically deconstructed, nor does it deserve your passion in the longterm, be it anger or sadness. Just hold the good stuff close and know there's millions of people, likely the vast majority of the fanbase, who feel the same way.

[@jmhthe3rd]

I'm in the same boat as Mike, though my ennui is farther along. I'm *fond* of old Star Trek, but I've lost the passion. I just no longer care, not enough to get angry, not even enough to laugh. Ditto for Star Wars, and other fandoms for that matter (AGOT is dead to me. We'll never see TWoW, and idgaf). Mainly now I just read old sf novels from 40+ years ago.

[@raptorshinryu]

@@TheEFedsAreComin lmao

[@emmywestwood]

This was a real rollercoaster. Hearing Mike's heart just sink at the admission of the death of one of his favourite franchises was truly heartbreaking.

[@PanAndScanBuddy]

It's the Rise of Skywalker but it's just hour after hour unrelenting

[@TamJam]

So nice of Mike to destroy that table at the end to keep their resident carpenter, Rich Evans, from running out of work. What a good friend!

[@amandakrueger6462]

I love all of the Will Wheaton cuts, they're so excruciating (and the long cut of seemingly the entire cast dramatically downing shots in every scene, so good).

[@PanzerblitzRnR]

"Forget the promise of progress and understanding, for in the grim dark future there is only war. There is no peace amongst the stars, only an eternity of carnage and slaughter" - Alex Kurtzman

[@noman8412]

And the laughter of thirsting executives.

[@keenanhoward4680]

"... and the laughter of thirsting showrunners"

[@TheAmbassador117]

If the show ends with the corpse of Picard wired to a golden throne I wouldn't be shocked in the slightest. THE EMPEROR PROTECTS

[@warlordofbritannia]

“Rudimentary creatures of blood and flesh….You cannot escape your doom. Your words are as empty as your future. I am the Vanguard of your destruction. This exchange is over.” Wait, wrong sci-fi…

[@alext5497]

The United Earth Directerive

[@dazedgalaxy6792]

Man I didn’t expect to feel anything but devilish delight watching this train wreck, but Mike’s speech at the end was very deep and emotional… Much like my favorite show Star Trek Picard

[@liteney]

I know what that is!

[@Goodbrew84]

I rethought my whole life.

[@counterfeitsaint7479]

Rich's analogy about how this is how most people have felt about Star Wars is 100% me. I've been laughing at distraught Star Wars fans since The Phantom Menace, but ever since STD first started airing.... oof this shit hurts. And I can't stop watching it.

[@defenstrator4660]

I am so glad Mike understands that we are far more entertained watching them die inside watching Picard than we ever would be by actually watching the show.

[@Wilburgur]

I hope your next review opens with Rich hooked up to life support. Mike just looks at Rich and says "So, Rich! You watched the Picard Season 2 Finale, I see."

[@warmlycalculated390]

Honestly, it wasn't that bad. And Strange New Worlds is a goddamn revelation.

[@beastiebear7231]

and i'd like to remind you that it's your fault.

[@Emperorhirohito19272]

@@warmlycalculated390 honestly it was that bad. The Q hug scene made me throw up then Wesley made me end it all. I’m sending you this message from beyond the grave

[@LordTalax]

Wilburgur! We need more vids

[@warmlycalculated390]

@@Emperorhirohito19272 I mean, it wasn't good but I didn't feel the desire to self-harm as I did during some of those mid-season eps.

[@gravitronlocksport9925]

I'm reminded of a line from Chief O'Brien in TNG that perfectly sums up Mike's feelings about Picard. "It's not you I hate Cardassian. I hate what I became because of you."

[@Jimoshi1]

its from DS9 not TNG i tnink.

[@therwfer]

That's completely wrong though. For the analogy to work the quote wouldve had to be: "It's you I hate Cardassian. And I hate what I became because of you."

[@MexxProtect]

I feel like this is more what TNG would say to STD

[@DracoDDD]

Mike using "Stand By Me" as an analogy for his feelings about Star Trek as a whole feels so honest because it is a universal experience at this point. That's what the current Star Trek, Star Wars, and Lord of the Rings series are to fans. Things that once held great meaning, but no longer do. The art and the message that was important to you in the past have been completely subverted for the lame nefarious purpose of squeezing out a few extra bucks. There is just a emotionless machine churning out product to be consumed, and enough idiots to keep consuming. As a side note, here is my pitch for "Stand By Me 2"! Have it be based around the guy who died. A meaningless and trite exploration of a character who's life is completely pointless to the original story.

[@d3nza482]

I'm not sure that a movie about River Phoenix would fly just yet. For one, Joaquin Phoenix would probably show up, throw a fit and then start ranting against milk.

[@charlottecorday8494]

@@braceforgaming Dr Strange is going to be the straw that broke the camel's back. Thanks America Chavez!

[@Jakeonkuningas]

I mean we haven't seen an episode of the Lord of the Rings series so we don't really know what it will be like.

[@charlottecorday8494]

@@Jakeonkuningas Except we do, we really do. Have you not read a single word of the creators attacking ALL the fans and calling them bigots?

[@warmak4576]

Ye knowing that the TV lotr trilogy is in the future and there are no black elfs/dwarfs/hobbies you start to ask some serious questions

[@orenalbertmeisel3127]

Wil Wheaton is a living satire. Can’t believe he’s a real person

[@matthewcollins4773]

He's not. That's the ESH - Emergency Shill Hologram

[@JohnDoe-xf2ke]

He's not

[@mariopenulli1395]

He has no personality, he is so deeply insecure that he is jumping into ideology to fill that void.

[@mathewtheis9139]

It’s sad now, I’m 36 and I get far more entertainment, humor, and sense of direction watching movie and television show reviews then watching the shows in the movies them selves. Thank you gentlemen for going through the hell that none of us really want to anymore and providing us with some sort of entertainment. You are the true heroes and you deserve no medals.

[@Dazen101]

Wow, he was so optimistic in episode 1

[@treadstone1970]

Never really expected it to last long.

[@FortWhenTeaThyme]

Imagine writing a show so poorly that you literally give a previous fan an existential crisis.

[@thewittyusername]

Welcome to Star Wars.

[@phunkracy]

We don't have to imagine

[@superfamilyallosauridae6505]

@@thewittyusername at least there's a couple good star wars shows though. it's actually pretty easy for me to pretend the sequel trilogy never happened because it's so incomprehensible, if you choose not to think about it, it's like nothing changed. it starts in such a weird fake futureish version of the universe we ended with it might as well be an entirely different thing.

[@thewittyusername]

@@superfamilyallosauridae6505 the "good" star wars shows are just more overly complicated pits of references of nostalgia bait. Season one of the mandelorian had potential but the second ruined it by being almost nothing but tie ins to the animated series. Everything at this point is beating a dead horse and all the fans who don't know what a horse looks like when alive.

[@superfamilyallosauridae6505]

@@thewittyusername i know the boba show is trash. Season 1 of the mandalorian was good, yeah, and mostly what I was referencing. A shame, having not personally seen season 2 yet. But none of it is quite the interdimensional insult picard, std, etc have been. I wouldn't even consider myself a major star trek fan, I just remember some really good TNG episodes my mom used to watch. additionally, what's particularly grating is that patrick stewart actively participated and has a role in making this show as bad as it is. while, for instance, Mark Hamill voiced concerns several times over the garbage movies. the star trek makers fully buys in to this day like the worst of when the sequel trilogy was coming out.

[@dr.paradox]

You know, I've noticed that Mike doesn't do many "remember when in Star Trek" breakaways anymore. Now we know why.

[@Chromeberd]

But mainly because of STP.

[@coreyjones9183]

Now he's only got Ghost Adventures

[@tarman47]

Oh god it’s true. That makes me so sad.

[@mmjahink]

Well I mean, why would this show make you think of real Star Trek?

[@davidstinger1134]

Props to Jay or whoever edits the videos for putting up with Will Wheaton's shilling enough to find clips to edit in.

[@ajt_channel]

Mike's eulogy at the end of this episode really made me sad. Sad because not only have I lost star trek, but I've lost redlettermedia sharing their love for star trek with me. Thank you Mike and Rich, you made me love old trek even more with all the content over the years. I will miss this.

[@wormfood83]

There's the directors cut of The Motion Picture coming out this month, so maybe there's that to look forward to.

[@Lemon_Inspector]

Seeing people in the comments agreeing with Mike that they can't look at Star Trek and Star Wars the same way anymore made me realize that these shows lived far longer that they were intended to. I think of men in their 30s making hour long videos speculating on the number of phaser doodads mounted on starships that only appear as background dressing in one scene of a single television episode. Perhaps Alex Kurtzman is the Van Hellsing to Star Trek's Dracula. A vampire can't be given a gentle send-off. They can't end on their All Good Things. You stuff the vampire's mouth with garlic, drive a stake through its heart and cut off its head. We've seen these beloved franchises murdered before our eyes and recoiled from the brutality of it, but perhaps it was the only way. The fans will turn away in disgust, the people who like the dumb action schlock will eventually get bored and forget. The final death.

[@KingBarnaDuke]

Truth. It's deliberate. It has to be. But, I'm not sure if that makes it less worrying than the alternative.

[@OrphanMartian]

I feel like I've hate-watched this entire series vicariously through RLM. Thank you for your sacrifice, guys.

[@internetsideshow]

I feel more like I'm commiserating with people who have watched a mutual friend die from cancer.

[@Lirka_906]

“Our misery is what gives people joy” Yeah pretty much. I’ve read a lot of comments on websites that showed clips or trailers of Picard, that said the best thing that came out of Nu-Trek is your reviews. And I agree. I can’t tell you guys to watch season 3, but I kinda still hope you do.

[@KatKaleen]

I don't even think it's Schadenfreude at this point, we just want to suffer alongside them.

[@gibberconfirm425]

Remember in 2012 when everyone said "even if new Star Wars movies are shit, we'll watch the Mr. Plinkett reviews" as a joke? That is the exact dystopian future you've been transported to.

[@goonsgoons1]

Yeah fr I’ve never seen a single episode of Star Trek but I love this shit. I also wish they’d do season 3 but… no. They deserve peace

[@TransRoofKorean]

No, I'm actually fine if they don't. I remember TNG so fondly from being a kid, just whatever random episodes came on after school each day, and I'm thinking of going and watching them all through now. I like the fact that I can have them see Picard and it hasn't really ruined TNG for me... I think. I dunno. Maybe I'll always be more jaded about the great Captain now than I'd have been otherwise but oh well, c'est la vie. If they just ignore a season 3, or do a quick "yeah they did this like we expected and not that like we expected and either way it SUCKED" that'd be enough. I wonder if Star Trek is really dead to me. Was never a huge fanboi. But it does give me a bit of dread... not gonna watch that new LOTR show but that's the only great work of high fiction / fantasy that I would feel just as broken inside if it were truly destroyed. The Hobbit was stupid enough but I could ignore that, kinda like the Star Wars movies 20 years ago were ignorable... but I wonder if this Rings of Power or w/e show would make me feel that way of Tolkien... if it did it would seem so weird to look at that section of my shelves, where I've got like 40 Tolkien-related books, it would be so sad to think "well that's truly dead now" and just let it go forever.

[@Kable_TV]

Rich evans is dancing funnily He says “you know your phone camera is always looking at you” “Can I have some water?” Asks Mike Alice Barbara hands crossed with a frown stretched across her face tells mike sternly “no, you may not” Mike had a few he’s probably parched he should have a drink I think it’s fucked up Alice Barbara won’t let him have a drink After some deliberation they bring him a cup of water This water tastes weird” Mike grunts “That’s becuase it’s not water it’s alker seltzer, get some rest” Alice Barbara says Mike was deceived he thirsted for water They gave him alka seltzer when he had asked for water and didn’t tell him what it was Now Mike is cautious he doesn’t trust these secret agents now he wonders if it’s really alka seltzer or if that alka seltzer is only there to cover up a drug put into the drink to put him to sleep He remembers her words “get some rest” The fbi has drugged Mike Stocklossa his head grows light his eyelids grow heavy and he passes out Rich is furious His childhood friend is unconscious on the floor He begins weeping Jays eyes remain dry, not at all surprised by the drugging I can hear Rich evans yell at the top of his lungs “it’s ALL TRUE” I hear a beeping noise A distinct “Clear!” A defibrillator is pressed to mikes chest to resuscitate him Mikes eyes open back up Mike stocklosa says “my heart stopped…”

[@thecampion2420]

Wil Wheaton literally feels like a character from Galaxy Quest.

[@PhillipDampier]

Remember, Wil Wheaton is the guy on Twitter who raged that he wasn't Wesley and his life didn't revolve around Star Trek. Then someone added a zero to a check and it's all different. Patrick Stewart said bringing back Picard would be tiresome and boring, but then they added two zeros to his check... and it's all different.

[@LessDevoid]

Wil Wheaton becoming the Howdy Doody for Star Trek: Picard is poetic.

[@janus3555]

For Wheaton, it's (D)ifferent.

[@TNTspaz]

Wheaton has always been a complete clown. However, this whole production just exposed him as the entire circus that he truely is

[@RedGreenLugar]

I keep forgetting that's Will Wheaton and I keep asking myself, who's the douche in the suit with the annoying voice.....ooohhh.

[@sleepydan9818]

The man who continues to watch VHS tapes off the Wheel of the Worst, Plinketto Board, and black spine shelf has said "I'm done with Star Trek." How embarrassing for Paramount.

[@andrewr880]

Oof, that is the best and most sobering comment here so far

[@whom382]

I don't watch any of those Best of the Worst episodes because they are awful and not fun. I only watch the ones with actual movies.

[@sleepydan9818]

@@whom382 You're watching this and Picard isn't an actual movie.

[@TheRealThorOdinson]

Will wheaton is so insufferable that even having him in this as a comedy aspect gives me a headache.

[@russ8446]

He looks like he's off his meds

[@at0micl0bster]

Good old Shill Weaton

[@silentsigma2917]

He looks like those unfunny, insufferable late night talk show hosts.

[@chickenitza8]

Hes starting to look the way he makes me feep

[@Mechotronic]

Hey Willy boy, this is Tom from Paramount! Say, what's your soul going for these days?

[@onepouchman]

Mike's Stand By Me heartbreaking analogy is how I feel about Star Wars since the Last Jedi. I feel his pain.

[@justintimothynelson]

The overlapping talking to summarize the first 5 episodes was comedy gold. I nearly lost it when wil Wheaton started overlapping

[@Sparkdaddy69]

Mike said, in no uncertain terms, that his ability to ever go back and enjoy TNG has been destroyed. This is precisely why, after watching the first two episodes of Picard season one, I chose to stop. I had learned my lessons from Star Wars. Thanks for taking one for the team Mike. I'm sorry that had to happen. Perhaps hypnotherapy and time will help cure this, or maybe binge-watching two seasons of The Orville.

[@lenoigel2626]

I watched the first 2 episodes and didn´t feel like watching Star Trek ("sheer fuckin hubris"). So i thought i will watch it later, maybe i just need some time to adjust. Then the reviews came in and suddenly i knew what my problem was: This is not MY Star Trek. Like Discovery. MY Star Trek is a future i would want to live in. A Utopia. An ideal, a goal for humanity to strive for. New Trek is a garbage fire to gather around to escape the cold. So i never started again. But the reviews are fun. And the Orville is, too.

[@mrdangerdave]

I wish that I did the same but instead I watched the entire first season hoping that it would improve.... Although I've ignored season 2 and gave up on the other New Trek shows, I'd say its greatly tarnished TNG and to an extend DS9 as well as Voyager for me. Although not unwatchable its lost its shine and I have to actively block out Picard. Kinda like someone taking a hump on a new Couch, although the stain is gone it'll never exactly be the same again.

[@noandno9144]

i never started. i learned from game of thrones. i was reading those books before the series and the series seemed so awesome and then, in the end, ruined the whole experience. i knew to not even start picard, like so many other things these days. ive basically given up on anything new.

[@GrandLordGeek]

Nothing can tarnish TNG

[@barbaraludwiczak4728]

This is the reason I didn't watch any episode of Picard. I had enough watching the first season of STD. The mere existence of these shows is the proof of the creative bankruptcy of tv studios.

[@BeerdyBruceLeeCentral]

The FBI agent had been searching for alien life for 40 years. And then he finds a legit alien and a man from the 25th cenury, and just lets them go. Alright then.

[@vasenkasi4846]

He has been useless for 40 years, so why break a habit of a lifetime?

[@carlsagan2371]

The went from Oceans 11, to Thelma and Louise, to Fast and the Furious, to Cheers, to fucking X-files, to Battlestar Gallactica!?!?.... to what now?!

[@FlowersInHisHair]

Discount John Ritter FBI guy was nothing but an obstacle. He wasn't important at all, and the characters that we are told are "Picard" and "Guinan" were merely delayed by him and the problem was solved with yet another fucking flashback. 3 episodes of complete filler material with "Picard" (the supposed title character) and "Guinan" in a dingy set doing nothing at all. You know what show never got stuck in flashbacks? TNG

[@patricktew]

Just let them go, and was absolutely totally chill with it. Didn't beg them to let him come on their mission to help, or say how truly revelatory this experience has been for him, or show any real sign of being overwhelmed by completing a whole-ass life quests. And in fact, one of the most seemingly unlikely-to-fulfil, extraordinary life quests one could have - seeking out intelligent alien life... Just kinda grumpy he got fired, and thought he might as well do a nice gesture on his way out the door

[@dennyk295]

"Well, you see, those aliens you've been obsessing over your entire adult life were really aliens, but they weren't bad aliens, they were good aliens, and they just wanted to dig around inside your mind and erase your memories (totally for your own good, of course!), but they must have screwed it up somehow. I know this because, unlike my alien friend in the other room, I'm a completely human android time traveler from hundreds of years in the future, and we're here trying to save humanity from becoming evil space Nazis (but not the evil space Nazis from that mirror universe, you see; *different* evil space Nazis...). Now, having been prompted by my alien companion giving herself an aneurysm to pass along a completely irrelevant and meaningless phrase that the currently powerless godlike being who's been fucking with your timeline muttered to her on his way out of your highly secure government facility, let me recite to you a few paragraphs from a pretentious self-help book whose title sounds like one of those horrible word art things in every bad real estate listing photo ever..." "Oh, well, I guess that clears everything up. 'scuse me while I go torpedo my FBI career to get you off the hook. Goodbye forever!"

[@themightydog677]

"The scene where Picard has his feet up." Enough said, Mike gets Picard more than "Picard" does. 100%. Done.

[@iuserprofile]

Watching Star Trek Picard has been an experience like witnessing an old friend falling into a chaotic dementia. Thank you for sharing the pain.

[@mmjahink]

There's more character growth with Mike and Rich's viewing of Picard than there is any one character in all of ST: Picard

[@mangalores-x_x]

false presumption. There are no characters in Picard to experience growth.

[@slwalsh]

The Stand By Me analogy is… wow. “Star Trek is the body.” To see Mike say it is very sobering, I actually felt bad. And this works for my Star Wars fandom too. We’ve seen enough.

[@gremlin66n]

I was struck by this too. Perfect analogy

[@tango6pl]

I was reminded of how I felt after the last couple seasons of game of thrones.

[@kacperrybka8489]

@@tango6pl and people still see it as one of the best shows ever made

[@UCannotDefeatMyShmeat]

@@kacperrybka8489 that’s mostly because a lot of people pretend the ending literally never happened

[@mr.mammuthusafricanavus8299]

Ironic that Will Wheaton starred in Stand by Me

[@CrimsonID4]

Man, I remember when William Shatner's pet project *_Star Trek V: The Final Frontier_* was seen as the "worst" of Star Trek. But compared to Stewart's Folly, I think now most of us would rather go back to a time where a fan dance, a low beam, and "78 decks" were the biggest crimes against Star Trek.

[@RappingNinja]

….ok, no. Star Trek V is still legitimately next-level awful for 90% of its runtime. On a level that makes this actually seem palatable because at least there’s Patrick Stewart’s acting and the morbid curiosity in what weird-ass thing will happen next.

[@dbroadwayvfx]

I've always legit loved Final Frontier. It's not the best Star Trek movie ever made, but damn it, it's entertaining. The the Kirk/Spock/Bones scenes are excellent, emotional, and NAIL those characters. You know what's not entertaining? DSC and PIC.

[@biggielittle1384]

@@RappingNinja I’ll have to agree here. STP has reached “so bad it’s hilarious” territory, given that the show stars a human android without the advantages of an android. ST5 is just the boring kind of bad.

[@pascalfibonacci]

You can never top Kirk's *pointing finger at heart "Maybe God was in here the whole time"

[@CrimeComunismFagotry]

Shat Did Nothing Wrong

[@whzpoor]

The editing of wheaton into frames is amazing, the analogy of the show to a childs drawing on a fridge is hilarious & ive subbed.