Star Trek: Picard Season 3, Episode 1 - re:View

[@sharpsonmusic]

As someone who has never watched an episode of Picard, I was ecstatic to hear that they renewed it for a 3rd season just because I knew it meant that Mike would force Rich to watch it.

[@srsieg1155]

Me too!! Lmao

[@Edax_Royeaux]

But I thought Mike and Rich said they gave up at the end of season 2.

[@funkrobot9762]

Same lol

[@soccerman9307]

​@@Edax_Royeauxthe hack frauds always lie, nothing's every really gone.

[@PhiTonics]

Second this! 🤣😂 I'm glad someone ruined their memories of picard for all of us 😂

[@darkpatches]

Beverly's son is definitely Picard's son. You can tell because of the English accent, so you know he's French.

[@Mind4orLease]

Everyone knows accents are genetic

[@RevanHorner]

@@Mind4orLease Every Soong looks like Brent Spiner. Genetics are beautiful.

[@david7522]

Would this be Picard's third surprise son?

[@scottjones2926]

Picard gets pretty busy for such a reserved man

[@shoestringscifi]

And they pointed out that Picard and Beverly had "tried" to be lovers.

[@WaxPenguins]

It’s sad to see addicts falling off the wagon again. I hope you guys get the help you need. 🙏

[@StraightWhiteMaleNews]

Yesterday I said to myself "Oh Picard's out? Guess I won't know what happens..."

[@thesultrystrangerdanger6824]

I think I need some counseling.... All I listen to is rlm... I dream about captain pickard and shakma chasing some kid with a cock on his shirt around the set of the hateful eight

[@gwynevans6440]

Yeah but how many more years could they realistically expect to live anyway? Two? One?

[@Fubar42]

I know we are talking about different addictions but I nearly rage quit when Raffi threw her drugs on the street for some kids to find. A fine Star-fleet Operative.

[@hobbitronic]

Yeah there's serious cope happening here. I would LOVE to be wrong but I'm not holding out and hope for any new star trek.

[@balaalalaslk]

I love how 95% of the people watching never saw an episode of this show and are just here to watch Rich and Mike suffer.

[@alexandereschmann]

That's literally me

[@leecroft1983]

Yep, me too.

[@josephcalpin9324]

I was looking forward to seeing them put a video out about it, even though the last Star Trek TV show I watched was Voyager.

[@ManOutofTime913]

Actually watching the show would require sitting through something executive produced by Alex Kurtzman.

[@xiamei704]

We all love a good train wreck.

[@progressivegerbils884]

Rich's forgetting major characters of the first two seasons is definitely a trauma response

[@Anacronian]

Well, let's be honest, It could just be because Rich is a raging alcoholic.

[@ravenshrike]

@@Anacronian I mean... they're all raging alcoholics.

[@jamesgrose510]

I don't think Rich drinks, is the funny thing. He's usually got a Coke instead of a beer in his hands. The meme of him on the couch with the beer is just some old-ass HitB skit

[@mladen8127]

It's a side effect of his diabetes medicine

[@josiahbahuaud2294]

@@Anacronian I think it’s the dementia.

[@vespertilio-ver]

Seeing Rich and Mike start yet another season of Picard feels like when you know Grandma is $200 down and catch her back on the 25 cent slot machines

[@valpergalit]

This actually made me laugh out loud. Great comment.

[@warlordofbritannia]

Except Mike isn’t laughing at the old people

[@mptesteroni]

Patrick Stewart is Grandma. Mike and Rich are the grandkids who've been abused for years and already correctly suspect they're not in the will, but have to take care of her anyway.

[@stevemiller1626]

I have literally had this experience with my own grandma

[@alejandronopasanada5302]

It’s definitely the dudes I see yawning after late night work to get (X amount) of lottery tickets when the jackpot is over Y (Y= the amount for the nightmare to stop) There’s this hope but the odds are so against us but we relate to a feeling and a what if. In this way, if they mess this up, it’s worse than the lottery. WORSE! So many more victims.

[@danpatterson8009]

The mixed emotions of watching someone in a bad relationship who genuinely believes that if they're just patient and forgiving long enough their tormentor will change.

[@kanimara]

Yeah they're in the classic cycle of abuse with Star Trek. Star Trek Picard has hurt and abandoned them, and now it's come back with flowers and chocolates and memberberries swearing it's changed.. this time will be different baby.

[@R3GARnator]

Counterpoint: Star Trek: Enterprise made a huge U-turn in quality in the second half. And the earlier series besides TOS each took a while to find their footing to varying degrees.

[@fiddledotgoth]

@@R3GARnator Yeah but not to the degree of Picard and STD...

[@QuantumElectricians]

This is exactly right

[@EionBlue]

@@R3GARnator Here's a second counterpoint: The tormentor, so to speak, DID change, quite literally, it's a new showrunner.

[@harvey1032]

When Rich says Star Trek has no soul, you can visibly see another fragment of what little soul Mike has left, leaving his body.

[@fajile5109]

His first horocrux is broken

[@friedmandesigns]

@@fajile5109 😆

[@gelraldoldo5152]

He might mean that most characters in star trek don’t have a soul where as in Star Wars is a bit more whimsical in that department.

[@TheGoodMorty]

​@@gelraldoldo5152 rich hates star wars

[@Pgo9ro]

"Local movie reviewer loses little bit of hope that he didn't knew he even had".

[@Pan_Z]

Gotta love that, despite Will Wheaton's relentless shilling, the writers made an entirely new son for Beverly Crusher, rather than bring back Whesley.

[@warwolt]

Haha somehow I forgot about Whesley while watching this video

[@FastAnimal75]

Bahahahahahaha

[@mitchellhouser1572]

Have they said why they refuse to have him on the show? It’s actually legit really sad and I know nothing about it apart from these videos. It’s so clear he wants to be included 🥺

[@LaneDenson]

@@mitchellhouser1572 He was in season 2, briefly.

[@Jammet]

@@mitchellhouser1572 They don't refuse him or anything. It just does not make sense in the story because the character is bound to "The Traveller", a timeless, formless thing that floats through the cosmos, now. Wesley is basically a sort of interdimensional being now.

[@lernaeanhydra5766]

I saw the headline "Wisconsin wins drunkest state in America award again" and instantly I knew RLM was watching Star Trek Picard season 3.

[@christiannovak5340]

This is like watching your alcoholic uncle whose 2 years sober reaching for the wine bottle on Thanksgiving.

[@voltijuice8576]

Or watching them eat the mutant turkey from _Blood Freak…_

[@MrKrtek00]

Listen, children! That happens if you watch Picard!

[@Around_blax_dont_relax]

@@voltijuice8576 oooOooOOOOooo Herschel!

[@das-9962]

Multi K comment right here

[@davidt8087]

No one should pay paramount plus. Just watch it for free online so their view count is so low they're forced to fuking give the fans what we want

[@hanspecans]

“This is Star Trek. There is no soul… That shit’s for Star Wars.” All time classic line from Rich.

[@syonsanteria9677]

Oh boy! It’s my favorite time of the year - the period of several months where Mike and Rich are drained of what little joy remains in their lives by watching the shambling remnants of their cherished and much-beloved franchise!

[@Transhumanist_Adam]

I heard it’s good this season 😢

[@maidros85]

We are truly blessed!

[@KariIzumi1]

@@Transhumanist_Adam I've heard that every season, this one just decided to go all in one the memberberries. I'll wait until the end of the season before I give it a watch. None of that "Trek shows need three seasons to get good" nonsense for me. 😒

[@GlitterMarcy]

"Its the most wonderful time of the yeeeeaaarrrr" haha.

[@axelhopfinger533]

Their suffering and desperation is our amusement in these dark, bleak and lensflare-riddled times!

[@thomasgiles2876]

" *Hanged* himself your father *hanged* himself. Your father was not a tapestry" One of my favorite ASOIAF quotes from the Freys.

[@albstare]

Sticks in my head literally every time I hear the word “hung” now lol .

[@warlordofbritannia]

Feast for Crows, right? When Jaime visits Darry?

[@VaporeonEnjoyer1]

Can you be hung if the person doing it considered you sub-human?

[@UFL3]

@@warlordofbritanniaAye, Jaime IV: "Outlaws killed him," sobbed Lady Amerei. "Father had only gone out to ransom Petyr Pimple. He brought them the gold they asked for, but they hung him anyway." "Hanged, Ami. Your father was not a tapestry." Lady Mariya turned back to Jaime. "I believe you knew him, ser."

[@john-el9636]

Glad to see some ASOIAF fans representing

[@Necron1999]

As soon as they announced the rest of the TNG cast would be returning I knew Mike and Rich wouldn’t be able to resist. Star Trek addiction is real and it’s devastating, people. Talk to your friends and family before it’s too late.

[@joshuabrien2970]

Worse than a coffee addiction and a going to the theater just cause you like theater popcorn addiction

[@PR0MAN01]

Get them on a rehabilitation program with The Expanse. Exposure to good Sci-Fi will fix you.

[@Blodhelm]

@@PR0MAN01 Good one XD

[@SuperDerp5]

So it's the heartbreak..😢

[@danposluns7894]

The moment when Laris is trying to get rid of Picard's old stuff and he grabs the flute from Inner Light and shakes it at her and says "Don't you understand how special this flute is, you ignorant poser? My god, woman, it's the thing from everyone's favorite episode of my adventures, just like that dog from Futurama" was solid

[@TerrenceNowicki]

Jean-Luc Picard's Ressikan flute cover of Walkin' On Sunshine is the 25th century's pan flute cover of Kiss From A Rose.

[@natewilson111]

And then everyone MORBED

[@clint9040]

That episode with the flute ... it stayed with me all these years

[@lookoutforchris]

@@clint9040same thing for me, except it’s that young girl in the stuck turbo lift with a pink jumpsuit camel toe. That’s my flute.

[@TheMarshmelloKing]

I really didn't think you guys would do this. This is like watching your loved ones slowly walking toward the edge of a cliff

[@davidt8087]

Don't pay paramount plus just watch it for free online

[@cceffect]

Again 😂

[@eldenringer6466]

Walking!? They're free wheeling off of it and are in free fall towards either oblivion and or smashed on old broken beer bottles lol

[@erfaniom9576]

well after the first two seasons its more like watching the ambulance come and gather the remains of your loved ones from the bottom of the cliff

[@strayfaery]

They were so close at remembering the daughter’s name - Her name is Calzone, a reference to Troy and Riker’s love for pizza and a symbol of their marital bliss at the pizza cabin.

[@peacemaster8117]

Burnt tomato!

[@VukLazarMusic]

Wasn't it Kendra, after Diana's sister who drowned in a pizza sauce factory?

[@roboverman4545]

Kelsa, Kelso? TNG =That 2370's Show?

[@CraigTalbert]

you win the comments

[@MsSSPA]

Kestra

[@DaBoweh]

"In my opinion, Kirk Bones Spock." - Mike Stoklasa 2023

[@headphonic8]

I think Seth Macfarlane explained it best why he loved the Enterprise-D: it looked like an office. There were plants, comfortable swivel chairs, etc. It looked like a place people worked in day to day. Could you imagine being stuck on a nu-Trek ship where everything is constantly dark, shiny, and sterile? Having to look at a bright screen your entire day? It would drive you crazy.

[@bencarlson4300]

The Enterprise in TNG has some of the most visually pleasing and welcoming lighting I’ve ever seen, it just looks nice.

[@lookoutforchris]

@@bencarlson4300it’s very cozy. Who wouldn’t want to live there, work in some lower level position without too much stress, stack those federation credits, and in your spare time just pump Ensign Robin Lefler full of gallons of baby batter as you cross the light years.

[@bencarlson4300]

@@lookoutforchris Uhhhhhhhhhhhh

[@wigglesfan69429]

And ruin your eyes!!

[@LittleJimmy835]

The problem I have with modern Star Trek is the same as what I have for most modern television shows. It’s that style of TV show that cropped up in the wake of JJ Abrams LOST which consist of… - Labyrinthine plots that layer in so many threads that by the end not even the shows own writers can possibly keep track of them all to wrap them all up. - Cryptic dialogue designed to sound mysterious but doesn’t actually mean anything when you think about it. - Cheap visuals attempting to look “cinematic” without actually understanding visual storytelling. - Plot structure that prioritises creating interest through mysteries, but rarely actually movies the story forward or changes the status quo. Much less provides answers for the mysteries. - Actors giving performances designed to be melodramatic and super serious, but rarely feel like naturalistic real people. It’s why I’ve all but given up on watching modern TV.

[@warlordofbritannia]

The episodic structure is also largely dead. *Everything* needs to have an overarching plot at the very least-which seems counterintuitive to me in this age of streaming. One would think a syndicated show is better adapted for binge-watching, especially with the norm being hour long episodes these days.

[@seanbirch]

There is so much modern tv of which there is plenty that is actually good or even amazing. Much of it better than old tv. You just got stuck.

[@tehbeernerd]

JJ Abrams and Joss Whedon have the longest shadows in Hollywood

[@arsenelupin9697]

@@seanbirch That's one of the most factually untrue statements, one could ever make ^^ If modernity is able to bring forth such great art, why do they constantly have to dredge up old properties? ^^

[@AvengerII]

At this point, I'm convinced JJ Abrams is a CIA asset. He's gotta be! This whole last 13 years of entertainment feels like one giant Psy-Op!

[@Cybershell13]

I clapped like a demented seal when they mentioned the purple space bazooka.

[@jamesgoss1860]

Can't not look at that one stunt guy who jumped after the explosion.

[@simoncobian2816]

Didn’t we all

[@spencers4121]

They tried to one up it in the first episode, Beverly is using a pump action phaser gun and it only had like what 8 shots.

[@warlockofwordschannel7901]

It's so dense. Every single frame has so much going on...

[@spacemanspud7073]

You should do a video on star trek: Picard; that's like right up your alley

[@jonnowocky8179]

These two warriors fighting to find love in a place it used to be is a real episodic journey

[@gwynevans6440]

They were; connected, but through the passage of time, they ulimately could not find the bond that they could not share.💔

[@VicAcid77]

This is like the television critics equivalent to battered spouse syndrome.

[@chazblank2717]

So in the story of Pandora’s Box, all human suffering is unleashed and the only thing that remains in the box is Hope… it’s typical interpreted as like the triumph of optimism, but the more philosophically minded are right to ask… what was hope doing in a box of all human suffering in the first place?

[@volbla]

@@chazblank2717 What i wonder is, if all the sufferings were let loose upon the world by leaving the box, why is it a good thing for hope to stay in the box? Doesn't that mean it's kept hidden from the world? An inconsistent story all around. Someone fire the writer.

[@kennyhudson9201]

@@chazblank2717 Because hope is suffering. Hope requires the absence of something so that you can hope for it. Hope means you are suffering from severe want. ???

[@JohnSmith-df6oi]

Mike "Kirk turned into a bloated space balloon." Shatner is gonna love you guys even more.

[@praeamble]

The cosmic ballet goes on.

[@mememachine-386]

Eh, fuck him. He already hated Mike.

[@hydrocooledcarrot]

🤣 surely they've given up on trying to mend that bridge

[@numinous2506]

I used to hear peoole say never meet your heroes. Now they are all on Twitter showing their twatters.

[@f0rth3l0v30fchr15t]

Kirk better not fly over Ohio, or the USAF gonna shoot him down.

[@ernekid7241]

Watching the light leaving Mike and Rich’s eyes is truly entertaining

[@alfredvalrie5541]

😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂

[@anthonygordon9483]

They seem pretty hopeful to me. I like this episode but like Rich and Mike said, the first show doesnt really reveal anything.

[@leshtricity]

dark, I like it

[@glen4662]

I get unreasonably excited to watch 2 men I don't know talk about a bad show I will never watch.

[@TherebehoesinAlaska]

Well I do know them and these Re:view vids are playing nonstop atop my RLM shrine

[@davidgaunt5018]

You'll never watch it, but you know it's bad. Strange logic. I've listened to a few podcast and KZbin hosts who say that this season is the Next Gen movie we should have got. These are people like Rich and Mike who absolutely hated the previous seasons.

[@shadowtrooper3764]

@@davidgaunt5018 Same. I've heard great things about this season from very harsh critics, and after the first episode my faith has been restored. Its not perfect, but nothing is. Pretty damn good start if you ask me.

[@Livingroomset799Dep]

“It’s just too painful, I can’t do it anymore.” - Mike “Yeah, I mean we don’t have to review Season 3. I wasn’t really planning to either.” - Rich Never change lads

[@macsmith2013]

But the audience demands it! I for one revel in their pain.

[@QuintessentialWalrus]

I was 100% certain they'd skip Picard Season 3 since they've missed like 3 or 4 seasons of Discovery. Never been so happy to be wrong :')

[@JoelBurger]

@@QuintessentialWalrus With Discovery I can imagine Mike and Rich can safely detach it from Star Trek as they know and love it. But they can't really do the same with Picard; it's in the name, they cannot escape its attachment to TNG.

[@christopheremmick5571]

I'm happy that Mike is opening up his heart and is willing to get hurt again for true love.

[@rgemail]

Star Trek Picard is a toxic abuser but he says nice things and we just keep coming back to him

[@mroctober3657]

Picard can change. Mike can change him.

[@onlynameMrBlank]

I love how they mention the thumbnails of previous seasons and how this one has them looking happy. I'm sure they'll get even happier as the season goes on.

[@Bitchslapper316]

I've seen reviews from people who equally hated seasons one and two but say season three was great. Dave Cullen is one example. Him and some others were given advanced screenings so they've watched the entire season already. His main criticisms were that the interior lighting was way to dark and they used curse words like they did in season one. He said unlike seasons one and two the story was tight and coherent and the dialogue and acting was good.

[@TheAltarOfMadness]

Season 3 is amazimg

[@quinn7876]

And… they do. Sort of. I’m as shocked as anyone.

[@sarov7658]

@@quinn7876 cause they are actual people who cares about the show

[@xStarblazer]

⁠@@TheAltarOfMadnessa season cannot be amazing if it includes Worf with 1960s seque Japanese white samurai eyebrows and a sword. That takes it down enough points alone

[@pauloricardo-wn6ps]

i love how mike quotes word for word the next generation and the original series but misquote the episode they just watched constantly

[@tarqsharq]

His senility didn’t catch the “One quarter impulse power” to leave space dock, where the Valeris quotes regulations that maneuvering thrusters ONLY should be used there! Sad!

[@JonCom3dy]

@@colonelharland7833 🤣

[@Trevin_Taylor]

When you do nothing but watch those episodes over and over it’s easy. Recently watched vs seen a million times.

[@FlyingKipperEh]

It is why Star Wars fans can quote hundres of line in the original movies but can't quote a single line from Rey or Poe. What people love, people remember.. and watch million times.

[@ArchibaldClumpy]

@@FlyingKipperEh To be fair there's little worth quoting in these new ones. There aren't many good Poe lines.

[@Xan3119]

YESSSSSS!!!!!! i'm disabled as of last year I'm just glad I live long enough to see you guys do this! you've got me through a lot of hard times. I love you guys! and I Love Star Trek. Be safe and take care of yourselves!

[@BBHood217]

I'm gonna keep an eye on Mike's shirt to see if it eventually morphs into "make it stop".

[@xuxuang8574]

I'd buy that teeshirt.

[@eqwerewrqwerqre]

This is actually an amazing idea

[@Trevin_Taylor]

The picture needs to also change into the facepalm meme.

[@chirho100]

Maybe it will evolve into resistance is futile. oooooooooohhhhhhh

[@jax3636]

That's fucking brilliant, if I was Mike I'd be kicking myself for not coming up with it first

[@GaryGyarados]

"The best episode of "Picard" yet"; ie "They managed to casually step over the lowest bar possible."

[@wocket42]

How to retcon that Picard is (not) a robot: "Hey, Picard, remember that day when we all told you, you are now a robot?" "Yes, I remember it exactly, it was the first of April three years ago. ... first of April! You bastards!"

[@XxDemon23xX]

Jokes aside, They use Stardates in Star Trek rather then a Gregorian calendar (which I suppose only applies to planet Earth anyway).

[@Col_Fragg]

Q turns Picard back into a human as a favor.

[@r0bw00d]

@@XxDemon23xX Stardates can be translated into Gregorian, in universe, and are a way to compensate for time dilation. Plus, we have no reason to think that non-Starfleet members use stardates. After all, if you spend your entire life on Earth, then what use is a stardate to you?

[@bcn1gh7h4wk]

@@XxDemon23xX stardates are only applied on ships and stations, because it's the way for them to keep track of shift changes. there's an episode with a character giving a debrief, and he states "this day at this hour, on stardate whatever,.... lately, on this date and this hour, corresponding to stardate whatever... and then one hour later, on stardate whatever...", so they keep track of days and hours, but they've simplified it to stardates 'for the record'.

[@stevenpick9451]

I wouldn't be surprised if they never even referenced the robot stuff in this season. It didn't happen!

[@androidmcd]

I could listen to them do the lofty schlocky S1/S2 Picard dialogue for hours lol

[@BanjoFrog612]

Mike talking about leaving the Space Dock in Star Trek 6 is so endearing. That’s pure love.

[@travisearly7879]

I love coming back and rewatching these in order just to see those two slowly realize the season turned out to be more than they could’ve hoped for.

[@BigX1]

I can't wait to see what eldritch horrors Rich and Mike turn into by the end of this season.

[@dutchbungis006]

Mike got pranked by Picard 3 times now. He's like the Nute Gunray of RLM.

[@SpacePopeIII]

It's time to hang up the old hat, Nute. You've been had!

[@crushedscouter9522]

😂😂

[@talonhammer]

He's still going along for the ride with all these jokers!

[@redtexan7053]

“This is getting out of hand, now there are three of them!”

[@MoragTong]

glorious reference :D "there's three seasons of them now?!"

[@CaptainPrivilege]

I thought this franchise was dead but five minutes into this episode Beverly Crusher executes a man by shooting him as he lays unconscious on the floor. In that moment I knew Star Trek was back. Thanks Terry Matalas.

[@itubeutubewealltube1]

exactly, i stopped watching after I laughed at that opening scene... I just couldnt do it.

[@amcgowan1970]

@@soulknife20 Boring!

[@thesnow2489]

Yeah, the opening was really tough.. I was yelling at my screen, when I saw the pump-gun loading mechanism of Beverly’s guns.

[@takerdust]

When Dr. Crusher vaporized that green Jo'Bril alien on TNG, Bev CRUSH-ER was born.

[@GilesMcRiker]

@Digitalismuk you couldn't be more wrong. I think Gene Roddenberry himself said that it's not star trek unless you have an (ideally middle-aged) girl boss acting like Screen Seagal in Under Siege! Eg Michelle Yeoh as Captain Georgiou, Rafi, Seven of Nine, Dr. Beverly "Bone" Crusher., Michael de Jesus Burnham, etc

[@ulture]

Mike saying "I'm gonna go home" at the end really spoiled the illusion for me that they just live in this abandoned warehouse with the wheel in one corner and the Plinketto board in the other

[@lookoutforchris]

Only Rich lives there. Mike has a house.

[@heatherperleberg7816]

​@@lookoutforchris Rich had to sell his RV so Mike could make rent on his warehouse for KZbin videos

[@aloneinthedark99]

I'm glad wil wheaton said "this is really exciting" otherwise I wouldn't know what emotion I'm supposed to be feeling.

[@leshtricity]

😂

[@mamba101]

Thrilling!

[@HickoryChip0]

He's so worthless

[@poppers7317]

I'm glad he didn't say "this is really boring".

[@snoitanicullah]

"I'm glad will Wheaton said" said nobody ever. Except you, recently, weirdo!

[@shonnewton3331]

The fact that they could not remember Christopher Plummer played General Chang and just called him bald Klingon is more shocking to me than all of Season 1 and 2 of Picard.

[@warlordofbritannia]

Tbf, that’s not one of Plummer’s more memorable roles. Plus, he’s more famous for playing a Captain.

[@jamesgoss1860]

It's fake. Mike is pretending to not know every conceivable detail to not embarrass Rich Evans.

[@warlordofbritannia]

@@jamesgoss1860 “…to not embarrass Rich Evans” That doesn’t sound like Mike

[@whompronnie]

You could say they've forgotten more Trek than these writers know

[@simoncobian2816]

I felt it was a gag

[@chubomikz7104]

I thought out loud, "no way they're still actually reviewing this show it has to be a joke", but it looks like they are actually giving it another chance. I want this show to be good *for them* at this point, I can't imagine having hope about something I love and it getting dashed three times in a row.

[@EternalFallNexus5]

Third time's the charm.

[@DJSwagz]

Episode 1 was noticeably better that season 1 and 2. Fingers crosssssed

[@qwopiretyu]

I give it till episode 3 till they hate themselves

[@targetthyself]

Exact opposite. If you eat the steak and then bitch about it. But you go back again and again and keep ordering it, your opinion means nothing. I hope its complete and utter shit.

[@obscure.reference]

@@qwopiretyu hmm i think it could go to five

[@aran998]

The innocence before the fall. Love to see it boys, good luck this year

[@Driftee]

Seeing these two beaten into submission but still remaining optimistic due to astronomical levels of Stockholm syndrome and nostalgia makes me feel not so bad about being a Star Wars fan

[@swagromancer]

You know what this means. We'll need another 10 favourite TNG episodes as a palette cleanser.

[@JosephDavies]

I hope so. While listening them confirm the problems in the new shows can be cathartic, it's a lot more plainly enjoyable to hear them discuss things they _actually_ find pleasure in watching.

[@calum0123]

Would be fun to get a 10 worst episodes too

[@Pixelkip]

@@calum0123 oh yeaa

[@JosephDavies]

@@calum0123 They already did videos for Picard S1. ;)

[@random__joe]

And a Mike vs Rich Star Trek Trivia..Jay can be the host

[@briantucker5322]

Seasons 1 and 2 of Picard were a nightmare, but... They made Red Letter Media shine.

[@eldenringer6466]

Rlm combined viewings of all the picard episodes far far outweighed Picard on its best day. That's saying something...And kind of amazing. ..And interesting.

[@danielcraig9666]

Man did you find the silver lining.

[@briantucker5322]

@@danielcraig9666 Mike: "Time is something that you wish you could reverse. The things you see in the scars left on your soul. We wish we could backtrack them all it's into the infinite... I'm not done with my dialogue... into the infinite cosmos of time, time, echoes, like a butterfly's wings when we see, things, that, that change...us..as the people we once were, but will soon become, or grow into. If we reverse the time into our lives, we have to recognize the moments that we share with each other now are priceless, and if we take those moments in time, and we appreciate them, and love them, and truly realize that when we look up at the night sky and see the stars as they are, those stars, once were different stars, and we realize in here, we become something new."

[@joshkkg1519]

Thank you for watching this series so I don’t have to. You boys deserve a medal

[@Xan3119]

one thing I love about Picard Every time they're on a Starship and a captain says 'open a channel' ...It makes the original sound from the next generation of opening the channel. It's a very distinct sound. Every time I hear that ring throughout the bridge it has to make me smile

[@believeinmatter]

Considering Mike’s love for old people, I’m surprised he doesn’t love every second of this show

[@Scott_Silver]

I think he only loves to laugh at them and their ailments.

[@Corbomite_Meatballs]

He likes olds he can laugh at...I don't think he wants to laugh at these olds.

[@BootScoot]

Even Mike knows that elderly abuse is wrong

[@BobofWOGGLE]

The worst part isn't watching your favorite media franchise shoot itself in the feet, devolve into self-parody, and be repeatedly refused the sweet release of cancellation. It's the cries from your fellow fans of "It's alive! it's gonna be good again! The new showrunner knows what he's doing!" every time they dig up the dead horse to start beating again.

[@JosephDavies]

Oh, and those fans will berate and belittle you for not enjoying it, too.

[@BobofWOGGLE]

@@JosephDavies tbf a lot of these once-respected trashfire IPs run a consistent cycle of overhype and underdelivery where nobody really defends the stinkers, just conveniently forgets about them when the next announcement rolls around and it's time to get excited again.

[@KasumiKenshirou]

"No, trust me, it's great! They invited me to the premiere party and let me see it early! I'm better than you!"

[@Null_Experis]

Hopium Springs Eternal

[@TerrenceNowicki]

"It's just a little airborne! It's still good! It's still good!"

[@jbman3082]

Mystery person is Worf . The short responses and specifically “You are a warrior” is spot on Worf dialogue.

[@PictishMiniPainting]

And as the text decrypts onto screen, its blink and you miss it Klingon Glyphs :)

[@QuantumElectricians]

I bet he's on the giant, sinister looking ship at the end. It's a red herring as a danger.

[@smash461986]

​@@QuantumElectricians it's not even a giant ship. It only is big in comparison to Crusher's knat. The Schimitar would dwarf it.

[@FalkFlak]

yeah, it was quite obvious. It's strange how RLM get the most tiniest of details but sometimes can't see what's right in their face.

[@notanactualuser]

trailers kind of point to this as well so I think you're right

[@MrOttawaalex]

The hidden figure talking to Raffi is Worf. The hidden figure referred to Raffi as a warrior. Gotta be Worf.

[@Lance37a]

You got it.

[@scotlandtheinsane3359]

Have a cigar!

[@nickj9049]

I figured that out right away.

[@BiggieTrismegistus]

The "warrior" part made it pretty obvious who it was going to be. Honestly I kind of wish they hadn't done that.

[@Afterburner215]

In retrospect, I think the text that is sent to Raffi gets decoded and is (briefly) seen in Klingon before translating to English. Not sure though

[@HNedel]

„She‘s pretty one-dimensional“ „That’s giving her too many dimensions, Mike“ 😂 Savage Rich, just savage 😎

[@Maves916]

You guys need the credit you deserve. Over the last ten or so years you have done more for star trek than anyone. Honestly just thank you for going far and above for maintaining the classic shows we all love.

[@shamboholic]

Agree, they turned this Star Wars refugee into a nostalgic Trekkie just from reminding me of watching TNG reruns on Nick at Nite. Every time they come back to these I wonder how it is that Paramount, Lucasfilm, or Warner have not at least asked one of these guys on in an advisory role just to clean their garbage up.

[@Beatleboylevi]

I haven’t laughed harder than I have with the “soundalike music” clip. Thank you for that gem 😂😂

[@clockworktuba]

Also Sidney LaForge is played by Ashlei Sharpe Chestnut, Mica Burton (pronounced mee-cah) is playing Alandra LaForge, and from the stills looks like she works with her father.

[@LonelyGothGirl]

I thought Rich and Mike would never do this again. But no one's ever really gone....

[@TerrenceNowicki]

Somehow, Picard returned.

[@ALRinaldi]

Secrets only the Gorn knew

[@ChrisKola]

Just when Mike and Rich thought they were out, the show somehow pulls them back in, like a demon dragging them into hell or something.

[@Fartucus]

A battered housewife going back to an abusive husband.

[@ChrisKola]

I think the demon's name is Eloisecole, but it's probably actually Alexkurtz'man.

[@arsenelupin9697]

@@ChrisKola Hey, cool it with the anti-elf remarks.

[@Corbomite_Meatballs]

It's like the Devil's tractor beam on their souls...

[@anthonygordon9483]

I think that goes for any star trek fan. Or at least the ones that thought picard was off his rocker the last 2 seasons. I could care less about the story line I am just watching just to see the old cast. Michael Dorn seems like he acts like the old Worf at least.

[@NefariousBear]

15:56 It took me way too long to realize Mike was saying "Kirk, Bones, Spock" and not "Kirk bones Spock" .

[@kerrychristensen7204]

I cackled 🤣👍👍

[@qwopiretyu]

I mean isn't that how The Naked Now goes?

[@hollenhammer]

your uncle jack

[@Baztee86]

Thank god someone else noticed, too

[@talonhammer]

Well, I mean.....

[@hjge1012]

Every time I see Riker and Picard in a scene, I always think it looks like and old man and his carer. That's really the vibe they give off. Picard looking all happy, telling stories and Riker leaning forward, trying to hear what the demented old man is saying, or explaining to him that he can't/shouldn't do something.

[@brigittechenard5562]

I want to sincerely thank you two for putting yourselves through hours of torture for our entertainment. I salute you men🖖

[@gregbors8364]

I mean, this KZbin gig is basically their job, right?

[@KevinJDildonik]

I'd rather they not. Like I'll watch it because ha ha, but I'd much rather see literally anything else they do. Like I'd rather see a timelapse of building the sets again. This whole paying a company to "ironically" watch their stuff is so last decade on Twitch.

[@whompronnie]

@@KevinJDildonik Speak for yourself. This is my favorite series, and I like them all

[@bangboom123]

I binged all of their Picard reviews this week, without watching the show or knowing there was a third season coming. I'm so delighted by surprise suffering!

[@Anamnesis]

Mike goes through the five stages of grief before accepting that the best we can hope for is anything that isn't an unwatchable cringefest. 😂

[@davidt8087]

Domt pay paramount plus just watch it for free online paramount deserves to see no views

[@quicksilver5794]

This was one of my favorite RLM videos in a while. You guys were firing all cylinders. Multiple times I laughed out loud.

[@thewalliest3956]

I think Raffi’s handler is Worf. When she was doubting herself and wanting to leave, the response was something like “Stand strong. You are a warrior.”

[@YIIMM]

Yeah, there wasn't much room for subtlety

[@spencers4121]

On the shuttle podcast Michael Dorn talks about working with her, he couldn't talk about the show. But the fact he was working with her would suggest they had a lot of scenes together.

[@Feck-de-stans]

nice catch 😮

[@Corbomite_Meatballs]

They pretty much show the two of them on a random neon planet in the trailer.

[@steak820]

Feels like a red herring. But probably not. The shows writers are not smart enough for that.

[@Bloodymecha]

I REFUSE to watch more Picard, but I will watch more of this.

[@desmondd1984]

Picard is dead to me after season 1. But I always enjoy these videos.

[@jean-lucpicard5510]

@@desmondd1984 Same here.

[@ninefoldrin5507]

Damn, how'd y'all get through the whole Season 1 recap without mentioning Data confessing his love to Picard before saying "please let me fucking die?"

[@SumDumGy]

I think the confession went the other way around.

[@thenerdzuero6002]

The fact that Mike sings the song of The Ink Spots by saying exactly what the guy didn't want to do makes me laugh. 17:16 - 17:30

[@hardy_har]

The ship flying off at the same time as the horn blast in the "sound-alike music" absolutely killed me. Y'all are too funny.

[@goflyers]

The "All Good Things" Troi side-by-side has my sides in standard orbit

[@cristopherderose]

This was the comment I was looking for!

[@psykodactyle]

Mike complaining about this Picard being a clone of the original Picard is really funny to me, because the Picard he loves is already a copy of the actual Picard that died in TNG when he beamed himself into space, and they re-materialized a backup of him from the transporter. The real Picard is still floating out there as a bloated corpse Mike!!

[@Kijinn]

I mean, I'm not a trekkie, but to my mind that's what beaming does anyway. Beamer makes a copy of your physical data and sends that across space - "copied data". You disappear and die. A copy of you is created at the beamer location. It reappears and believes that it is the original version of you, since it retains your memory, so for all intents and purposes you will still exist for the rest of the world...but for the original you, there is no value in that, because you just died. Your stream of consciousness ends at the moment of beaming. That especially holds true when going by the belief that there are no souls.

[@Lemon_Inspector]

What? Which episode is that?

[@psykodactyle]

@@Lemon_Inspector lonely AMONGUS

[@Lemon_Inspector]

He got dispersed into a giant space fart and they pushed him back together. I assume the Federation doesn't keep backups of people because of their kooky "dying is really cool, actually" philosophy

[@Flanponos]

OHHH MY GODDDDDDDDD *queue destruction of the set sequence and many sound effects of bottles breaking*

[@djrensk]

YES!! Never thought I'd see this day come! I can't wait to see the inevitable mental anguish and torment they put themselves through. Will never watch Picard but will happily sit through this.

[@SlartiMarvinbartfast]

Season 3 has been getting some great reviewers from reviewers who have seen all of the episodes. I know it's tempting to judge it harshly after the truly awful seasons 1 and 2, but it does sound like season 3 is worth our time. I enjoyed episode 1 at least.

[@trentb3148]

I disagree about TNG Picard not having an attachment to the Enterprise-D. If there's one thing Picard did tend to get wistful about, it was about his ship. After all, Picard definitely had a romantic view about starships, and he viewed himself like a classical naval captain. As such, he viewed his ships like a person, or even an extension of himself. I don't know that he favored the D over others, but of course, after 30 years, his views on the ship are going to be considerably more nostalgic than when he first left it behind. Considering how often he waxed nostalgic about the Stargazer on TNG, the ship he had some of the craziest adventures possible would probably be pretty important to him when looking back.

[@PodreyJenkin138]

But he wouldn't show it back in his prime Of course almost 3 decades can soften the heart and change someone I'm fine with Picard not being the same character, however rich is right the dialogue is shit and pat stu can't even deliver it well because it's so generic

[@horustheking7129]

I did wonder that too, because Picard did seem to be attached to the Enterprise D during TNG, and in Yesterday's Enterprise Picard does go down fighting with "Let's make sure history never forgets the name, Enterprise"

[@GerryRR]

I mean there is that line about there being "plenty of letters left in the alphabet."

[@Muzer0]

lol Picard favours the D No, I do recall that at the time in TNG he preferred the Stargazer to the Enterprise. At least in a nostalgic/first command kind of way like you say. But I think it's not completely unreasonable that he would eventually develop nostalgia for the ship where he had his greatest highs and most devastating lows of his career.

[@josephdonnelly2191]

Mike forgets Starship Mine. In the opening scene, Picard has a wistful moment of appreciation and love for the Enterprise bridge and steps in the turbolift a moment before the Die Hard terrorists walk in.

[@cmanprogrock11]

Mike and Rich watch Picard so that we don't have to. You guys are the real heroes. Thankyou for your service

[@Drefan13]

Did we just forget that Dr Crusher blasted a hole in the middle of a dude before vaporizing him? When she steals a shuttle to prove the ferengi scientist's shield theory. Dr Crusher got quite a bit of development in season 7 that I think a lot of people tend to forget. When Troi gets her promotion to Cmdr she and Crusher talk about it. Crusher didn't need to be a full Cmdr for her position as CMO (apparently), but Crusher wanted to be a qualified bridge officer. We learn that Dr Crusher has apparently all this time behind the scenes kept up in procedures and policies as well as been in the regular command shift rotation of the Enterprise. She kept up her "quals" so to speak. While not stated in dialogue, iirc, but after they lose contact with the away team on earth in First Contact she seems to be acting first officer. That would seem to put her in line of command somewhere around Worf. The XO, 2nd officer, and Chief Engineer are missing, the Security Chief is busy fighting and coordinating against the Borg, making her acting XO. She gets her own ship in All Good Things. All these make you think that Crusher really considered herself to be a well rounded Starfleet officer second only to being a doctor.

[@BiggieTrismegistus]

She also commands the skeleton crew left behind on the Enterprise during "Descent". She does a great job too.

[@PaulDozierZZoMBiE13]

You have no idea how happy I am to see this video in my feed. I honestly didn't think you guys were gonna do it. You had me thinking you'd really leave it be after the torturous finish to Picard s2. Thanks guys. Your suffering for my entertainment is the closest thing I have to a long-term relationship.

[@StanleyKubricksBeard]

Know that this was painful for you both to do, but it’s very much appreciated. Doing the lord’s work gentlemen 🖤

[@grantc61]

Doubt they would see it that way.

[@justthinking5091]

I laughed so hard at Crusher using the phaser like a shotgun ...

[@zizoumonk10]

It’s a Spaaaaace shotgun Definitely a case of the writers being like “hey wouldn’t it be cool if Beverly shot a space shotgun” and they didn’t think through the practicality or design….also hilarious how her enemies had a space machine gun with unlimited bullets

[@StuffedVulture]

A space shotgun is the second coolest thing after a purple space bazooka.

[@rubaiyat300]

@@zizoumonk10 I mean they would be effectively unlimited in relation to any random firefight. And honestly a fan of space weapons being at least AS effective as 21st century weapons. At least if we are gonna forget that phasers and other weapons back in the 23rd century could straight vaporize people so random crates or rocks are not suitable cover. But that is DS9's sin so I can't hold it against ST Picard.

[@Claego]

Oh yeah, she ran out of ammo and the bad guys just kept raining bullets. I noticed that

[@justthinking5091]

@@Claego Got to keep recharging those photons ...

[@Ennio444]

I would be happy to see Mike and Rich discussin every season of Voyager in detail.

[@stepheneaton4978]

It would make me happy because of how painful it would be for them

[@gvt5571]

Yes please

[@jackasslawyer]

Just episode where the Capt and Paris turn into salamanders and fuck would be enough

[@roberthawthorne7389]

I’ve never watched a single episode of Star Trek: Picard but must have watched 8 hours of episode reviews by Mike and Rich. 😂

[@notanactualuser]

you're doing life right, I watched the first season and I'm dumber for it

[@jean-lucpicard5510]

@@notanactualuser season 1 and I was done.

[@TheMrrccava]

This is the "Acceptance" stage of grief and I'm here for it.

[@Aravanus]

No, this is still bargaining. Watch the end again where they talk about "if they just do these minimal things we'll be happy." They have yet to reach the bottom.

[@mena88]

That Deanna Troy side-by-side😂😂😂

[@SlartiMarvinbartfast]

I thought that was brilliant. 🙂

[@mariiazubova7198]

I lost it

[@tartrazine5]

37:50

[@mrgoober6320]

Even a quick plot summary of Picard feels like a fever dream.

[@mik3lang3lo]

To be fair trying to remember the first and second season of Picard is a great dementia test

[@hezekiahramirez6965]

Person woman man camera TV... Agnes... Rios... Dopey... Sneezy... Charlotte... Miranda... Scrappy-Doo?

[@adamkares7549]

These shows make me want dementia

[@fiddledotgoth]

@@adamkares7549 Ah dementia, my beloved old friend...

[@mistersharkfilms]

Picard would recognise Jack Crusher immediately if he was a clone... He and Picard were close friends in their youth, but the writers might have forgotten about those details!

[@alanpennie8013]

Were they Academy buddies?

[@Muzer0]

To be fair Trek clones are a bit screwy, because Shinzon didn't look anything like young Picard. I feel like one thing linking Trek writers of every era is that they don't know what DNA is...

[@mistersharkfilms]

@@Muzer0 True. Especially with the Soongs, who are apparently not clones but yet they all still look identical. Maybe the laws of biology work differently in Star Trek. 🤷🏻‍♂️

[@itsd0nk]

Forgotten? That would indicate that the writers have watched TNG episodes.

[@ledarbyromeo9667]

@@Muzer0 I'd blame Shinzon on some shady Romulan cloning tech.

[@GeoffreySorensen]

Important correction: We have not yet seen Mica Burton in Picard. The character's daughter we saw so far was a different actress.

[@nope-fv9eh]

Nice catch. I didn't think the actress looked like Mica Burton when they showed the clip.

[@paulpolpiboon9535]

Dang, why didn't they just get his real daughter?? She's in the industry so maybe she had concerns lol. Thnx for the tip

[@levitwoguns9244]

Geordi has 2 daughters who will appear, one is played by Mica Burton, the other by Ashlei Sharpe Chestnut.

[@mangalores-x_x]

Confused the hell out of me on first watch.

[@jesuscoutofandino6280]

I can see an old retired military man growing softer and finally allowing himself to show emotional attachements, remember his golden years with a warm and love he couldnt allow himself when he was in command and had to be professional, unflappable, the rock the rest of the crew could stand on at all times. What I cant get is that whole second season of "no, that all was trauma, trauma so big one wonders how he passed any psychological examination to become Starfleet"

[@L4nd0C4lr1s14n]

Starfleet is NOT A MILITARY orgnization.

[@bkgrila]

Even though The Motion Picture already had a full episode with Jim, I'd love to see a 2-part re:View where Mike and Rich share their thoughts on the 6 original cast movies.

[@BeppyTurnip]

Mike not wanting to spoil Star Trek 6 made me want to watch Star Trek 6

[@CharlesP2009]

It's a really good film. It was my favorite as a kid since it was the only one that looked modern to me. (We only had mediocre recordings of the TV edits of the older movies.) Plus it shared a lot of TNG sets which I got a kick out of since the Enterprise D was MY Enterprise.

[@SlartiMarvinbartfast]

Good idea, it's a pretty good Trek movie. Personally speaking I think it's kind of overrated and that movies I, II, III and IV are far better (V is poor as you may know).

[@paulswietek3665]

@@SlartiMarvinbartfast Agree with you 100%

[@davfree9732]

It’s essentially a film about the de-escalation of tensions between East and West. Its Star Trek meets Tom Clancy where events dictate politics, and some people can’t let go of the hate that culminated in the past… that pushes events forward once more to reignite the war. When you look at the character of Kirk, it’s the film where he’s able to shed some of his baggage he developed over the previous films.

[@caseyglover7298]

Its my favorite of the TOS movies.

[@manwithoutfear05]

I legit didn't think we'd see RLM do season 3. I'm cancelling my plans, getting a glass of wine, sitting in my recliner and watching this!

[@aquiace]

The lighting of the ship's interior is as bright as the souls of the writers

[@svsguru2000]

Love the thumbnail. Mike is dead inside, and Rich fakes a smile, trying to contain his inner rage.

[@sangallo9574]

"This is Star Trek, there is no soul. That shit's for Star Wars." Gave me a big laugh, thanks Rich

[@MGMan37]

Yeah! It's called Katra!

[@ZeroFPV]

If they had a soul it's was gone the first time they used the Teleporter. Remember how this works? You are getting killed and replaced by a copy.

[@MelGibsonFan]

@@ZeroFPV I wish more people knew this lol.

[@ramonster163]

The set falling apart part way through this re:View kinda feels like a premonition for Picard S3 writing.

[@MarKBBQ]

you could say....it was a bad sign

[@richardgarcia1184]

It’s so juvenile but the added fart sounds to the Picard reviews always make me laugh

[@arthurdotson9579]

Up to 6:20-ish, on Picard's past, they also forgot to mention ANYTHING about his brother. His bro only appeared in one episode of TNG, but when I re-watched the series a few years ago, that episode was powerful and important, as Picard's brother helped him come to terms with what the Borg had done to him when they made him Locutus. Episode aired right after the Locutus two-parter season finale/premier, going into season 3 or 4. Picard's brother deserved some mention, and did not deserve to be forgotten. Especially since his off-screen death (and that of his family, including Picard's nephew, whom Picard was glad would carry on the family lineage, as Picards had a lengthy line of historical moments, like being among the first colonists on Mars).

[@hitomisalazar4073]

They also mention him a few times in TNG with notes of pride. Like I remember Picard doing a diplomatic scene where he's like: "This is a drink from my planet, called Wine. My brother, Robert, grows vines that provide the grapes for it" and the diplomat going "Ah, it's very similar to something we have". I want to say it was the episode "First Contact" where they meet the alien civilization about to go into Warp Speed for the first time, with Riker in the hospital as a disguised alien.

[@shauntrek]

They mention that he's away in boarding school.

[@arthurdotson9579]

@@shauntrek Oh shoot, my mistake? Sorry then. Guess I have to go back and rewatch it. Dang, seriously, so sorry. But also, thanks for the info!

[@arthurdotson9579]

@@hitomisalazar4073 I'm thinking it's time I binge the series again :)

[@fuzzywzhe]

It was bad writing to have them die IN A FIRE in the, what 23rd/24th century? We have sprinklers and fire alarms now. It's very rare today that somebody dies in a HOUSE fire. Apartment complex isn't so rare, but a house is very rare.

[@clintonarneson226]

12:40 ... Mike really nails it. Special effects reduced the intellectual burden on the writers. The last decade or so has been a testament to this fact.

[@mvprime8]

I mean, kinda, but that's kind of surface level stuff. Even if they had no budget for CGI, and had to write just people talking in rooms, it would still be god awful. Like just look at all the scenes of people talking in Picard S1-S2. That's the kind of stuff you would get. Yay? It would be terrible, with or without CGI. Simply because these are terrible writers, who know nothing about sci-fi, nothing about Star Trek, nothing about storytelling. The philosophy of writing TNG episodes was completely different. They were writers who were fans of science fiction. They read science fiction books, short stories, saw science fiction films etc. Writers of Picard S1-S2 (and nu-Trek in general) have none of that knowledge. Who knows what they've seen. Friends? Dawson's Creek?

[@GillesVandenoostende]

“Write some nonsense filler to get us to the next big CGI set-piece” is very different from “we don’t have any budget left for special effects/space battles this season, so I need you to write a couple of character-study episodes that are 85% people talking in rooms”

[@ABUBBA22]

@@mvprime8 but that is the point. This generation of shows and movies rely too much on bombastic CGI to keep an audience engaged. If they didn't have the CGI and had to rely on writing alone, the writers would either have to improve or no one would watch at all.

[@qnebra]

I am pretty sure CGI artists would much more prefer smaller episodes with less spectacle, as I think many of them are Star Trek nerds.