Refusing To Go 50/50 With A Man: Insights From A Nurse

[@UpdatedView]

Great video! Most top earning men are already married. My wife and I are top earners. We didn’t start that way and she made more than me at one time. Now I make more than her and we are completely debt free including our home. This is what we built together and our living expenses are only about 15% of our income. How can you build anything when the other person is spending it elsewhere without a plan? Now my wife can do whatever she wants whenever she wants.

[@KendraRN]

Thank you for saying this. Many are getting married to their peers while in grad school. I asked how many single, high earning men are women encountering on a day to day basis that are available. I made the video just to offer a glimpse of reality. Money is amazing, but woman just have to be real.

[@UpdatedView]

@@KendraRN You are absolutely correct. My buddies and I met our wives in college. I don’t have a great answer for women seeking these high earning provider men that are attractive and monogamous. I know of one guy in my network who divorced recently. He is a lobbyist in the energy sector. The guy is clearing at least $400k annually and has women of all races and age cohorts in a rotation. Unfortunately, this guy will probably continue to play the field indefinitely. The question for the ladies would be, “how would you get a man like this to settle down and pay all of your bills?” I honestly don’t know. Your logic definitely checks out, but I would never suggest anyone to settle for something they don’t want. Lastly, if they don’t change and listen to what you are saying, what’s the next step? 🤷🏾‍♂️

[@Crybaby-cz8et]

​@@UpdatedViewthe settling part is very true. Women who know their value don't settle for less, they rather be alone than take bread crumbs, it doesn't matter what age they are.

[@Huff627]

@UpdatedView, Kudos, lesson for all.

[@neveralone7]

These days, I would never put myself in a position where I have to depend on a man for anything.

[@KendraRN]

Say it louder dear.

[@landonprice5656]

You took the jab??? Big krit- serve this royalty... Curren$y- his and her Ferrari songs for you beautiful sistaz

[@awesomegirl97]

Yet you depend on a job that you can lose at anytime. There’s nothing wrong with being taken care of by your man.

[@ykwtfim]

@@awesomegirl97 i hear you sis and I agree there’s nothing wrong with being taken care of, I’ve been a housewife up to this point and before I got married I worked… but your argument goes both ways, he can also lose his job anytime too. However, for an RN…. There’s always another job waiting lol

[@awesomegirl97]

@@ykwtfim I agree he can lose his job at anytime. Notice I never said you should depend on him or not have a skill under your belt in case things go left.

[@ExTRAErrestrial_Travels]

As a man that makes around 155k (I’m an Infection Control Director & Own a consulting business doing the same) I’ve stopped talking to some women for this reason. I don’t expect 50/50 but I tend to like to keep things proportional. If I make 85% of the total income I’ll take care of that. But I’m also looking for an asset and not a liability. On my own I travel about once a quarter & live very comfortably on my own; adding someone to my life who doesn’t contribute and wants me to fully fund their life will bring down the quality of what I do on my own and it isn’t worth it.

[@chrisharris2367]

Some men don’t want to take care of their wives and that’s ok. But some women do find men to cover 100 percent of everything aka providers

[@ExTRAErrestrial_Travels]

@@chrisharris2367 it’s more so I don’t want to reduce the quality of my life; for the sake of having a wife. Especially with current divorce rates and how we usually get drug across hot coals during a divorce. So anyone I’m with I need them to have some skin in the game. Like if she only makes 45k per year I would expect her to cover 29% of the bills. I don’t want a dependent; I want a wife. I cook and clean already because I have to do this as a single man as it is. I don’t want a housewife (they are usually the worst in a divorce anyways 🤣).

[@chinneynz7861]

I am a black woman and I agree with you. Don't cut out dating though, if you still crave that companionship. Just look for a woman who brings value and is willing to be a real partner. Now, you must treat her well and don't take her for granted once she becomes your wife.......thuis is where men screw it up all the time. they STOP doing the nice things that make a woman feel special.

[@ykwtfim]

I’m in nursing school and my husband takes care of everything 100% plus pays for my school… and it’s TOO MUCH ON HIM. He is STRESSED. And it breaks my heart to know that he’s been working his entire life since his teens to support his family… I can’t wait to get my first nursing job in a year and a half and take a good chunk of that burden off his shoulders. I’ll immediately be making more than he does now and I plan on our respective contributions reflecting that fact. It’s only fair in my eyes. Besides fairness, I love that man and I don’t want him struggling needlessly.

[@KendraRN]

Awwwww this warmed my heart. It’s all about teamwork in marriage and making life easy for one another. Thank you so much for watching and sharing with us ❤️❤️❤️

[@ykwtfim]

@@KendraRN thank you for not being afraid to speak your mind and sharing with US! God bless you and yours, sincerely 💕

[@commentthin]

LOL, many women said that before but never reciprocate. He'll soon be called names and eventually kick out. #Write it down

[@mrstraore4782]

I think some women place to much value on how much a man makes. I'm a nurse and make more than my husband, but he gets up to go to work 5 days a week and helps pay the bills as well as doing many other things. Who's shoveling that snow at 5am off my car without me having ask? That's high value in my book 😊 .

[@ruthreddick8369]

Helps pay the pills?? So you are the main source of the home?? And he helps…got it

[@mrstraore4782]

@@ruthreddick8369 It's a team effort, we both contribute to the bills, food etc. Now, is it exactly 50/50? No because as I said I make more, so I can afford to contribute a bit more 🙂

[@mettamorph4523]

I like Suze Ormans take on shared finances being done on a percentage basis. If you make 70k and your partner makes 30k, financial bills are split 70/30, not 50/50. You go by the percentage of total income.

[@garlicgirl3149]

Amen to that!!! 🎉

[@career5690]

@@mettamorph4523As a woman I’m not going 70/30 unless I’m paying 30%.

[@paulasage3611]

I was not looking for a man after my divorce, I don't enjoy making the same mistake twice. Before I decided to go back to school and become a nurse, I worked 2-3 jobs, it was not a lavish lifestyle, but I was able to keep body and soul together. When I became a nurse and met my future husband, for the first time in my life, I had disposable income. I purchased my first home by myself. I never expected him to provide for me. When we lived together because he made less, he did what he could to help out, fixed my furnace, installed a hot water heater. Now that we are married, it's 50/50. We each put in to a joint account and have our own separate funds. This way, I don't ask about how many tools he buys, and he stays out if my plant purchases. There's peace and harmony, and we are boring, just the way we like it. Thank you for bringing up this subject! It's time for a reality reset!

[@KendraRN]

Awwww Paula, thank you for sharing. A reality reset is definitely needed.

[@paulasage3611]

@@KendraRN You rock!

[@billjames3030]

​@@KendraRNKendra I would soooo love to marry a great woman like you with a heart of gold. ❤ Millions of men dream about a total package like you. 💐 🌹 😊

[@rrt401]

Love this for you. Staying out of your 🌱 🪴 🌿🎋🍃 sent me 😂🤣😂🤣

[@rrt401]

@@billjames3030 Oooooo!! 👀👀 😅

[@nurseanderson6007]

At my age of 46. I do not want to date a man who needs me. As a RN i can pay ALL my bills solo, traveling, shop and enjoy life. So I want any man I date to be in that same place. So if we are together in a relationship. He should not need my help if i move in with him as he should be doing it solo before me. So no I dont need him to pay my cell phone, car note or insurance. But the house hold bills yes he should be able to cover 100% of the mortgage, gas and lights. I can pay for food and house supplies. I will not do 50/50 as a woman I NEED a provider, and that does not mean I just have fun with my money or I stop working. It means you can provide for a family with or without me.

[@KendraRN]

I don’t disagree. What I mentioned though is that where are finding these men? Especially since as black women, we are out earning them? Black men who are able to cover all the household bills also have the “I’m the prize” attitude. Thoughts? Are you willing to date outside your race? I feel like you and I are similar.

[@nurseanderson6007]

@@KendraRN I have done online apps and it was some high earning guys. But you’re right, up to this point. I have made more than every guy I dated. I will never do that again. Truck drivers, and business owners are a few that would make the same or more than us as RNs

[@KendraRN]

@@nurseanderson6007 I don’t blame you. It is why I mentioned too, if the man does not meet standards, are women okay being single and enjoying the fruits of their hard labor. I am hesitant to try dating apps, I prefer organically meeting someone but again, I’m likely to out earn them.

[@MsLotusBlooms]

Look,just be willing to work with the man who chooses to be with you.

[@career5690]

@@KendraRN Date Asian men and Hispanic men.

[@LifestyleArmyWife]

One of my best friends who is Caucasian put me up on game. They have this thing in their community called “ring by spring” 💅🏽 I’m grateful that she told me about this because I implemented that advice and went to medical school because I knew I wanted to marry a doctor. It’s called close proximity. You increase your chances of meeting someone equal to your income or more when you put yourself in that environment. It’s a very fundamental concept to grasp and again I’m very grateful for my friend that gave me this information because it worked. 💕

[@LifestyleArmyWife]

So yeah, it may sound foreign to some people the idea of going to school to meet someone but people in other communities have been doing this for a very long time… And it’s simple. If you want a high earner then figure out a way to place yourself in that environment where you could get respect, BE impressionable and increase your chances of meeting someone. 🤷🏽‍♀️

[@KendraRN]

Thank you for sharing. This is great information🖤

[@garlicgirl3149]

I was told that is how many other races do it. Makes sense.

[@career5690]

@@LifestyleArmyWife I noticed a lot of Asian men are in the dental profession and medical field,pharmacy and nursing so I’ll be likely to date them.

[@career5690]

@@KendraRN 😅

[@livinglifesosoft3344]

A man should provide for his wife and children if he can’t then he needs to stay single. Just as how Black Women are out earning the Black Men what is stopping them from getting their money up there is no excuse. Men don’t have to take time out to have kids women do and still manage to have kids and earn more than them, why is that? So these men need to get their money up to ensure that they can provide adequately for their wife and kids. We need to stop giving Black men the excuse to earn less and lean into their feminine energy as opposed to their masculine energy but still reap the benefits of a wife. If they can’t afford a wife they don’t deserve have one.

[@KendraRN]

I don’t disagree with you at all. Women also must know too that if in fact his money is up but he’s working all the time, there should be no complaining.

[@mrs.tishposh-paige3570]

Never let anyone speak fear or limitations in your life. I've never met beautiful, successful, happy women who speak limitations on "black" women💜 Proximity is power, be great ladies, and exceed limited expectations👑

[@ladynottingham89]

As a nurse who is a stay-at-home mom right now and looking to work. Stop looking for a man to support you financially. Don’t EVER stop working for anyone. I don’t care what these hypergamy bloggers say to women, they’re the fools for allowing themselves to be dependent on someone else. All that does is put you in a weak position and the man or his family will use it against you.

[@SweetUareDesi]

The only word on the street is: use your men’z money

[@dricky1149]

I’m glad I’m married because I have no idea what this 50/50 nonsense is about. My wife just asks me what she needs/wants and I handle the rest

[@Blissedx]

Because you’re a real man

[@KendraRN]

Love it and of course, she’s your wife!

[@wb1738]

@@Blissedx A man giving a woman everything doesn't make him a real man. Today's woman is walking away from marriage and getting 50 percent of a man pension and SS. This is a fact. So, if a woman makes more than a man in a marriage, I don't see anything wrong with this because at the end of the day a woman should assist her man and vice versus. A man doesn't care who is making the most and this is coming from a male.

[@career5690]

@@wb1738They should get more than 50%.😂

[@dionbrooks4981]

@dricky1149 how much is your mortgage payment a month? How many new cars in your driveway? How many times a year do you like to travel? Do you stay up on the latest clothes and shoes style... what type of entertainment do u like to do when u go out?... do your wife like to get her hair done and her nails?

[@missijb1603]

I agree with you 100%. I'm willing to go 50/50 and still can't find someone decent...lol

[@KendraRN]

We have to go out the country maybe sis.

[@dionbrooks4981]

​@KendraRN no u don't we right here in the US

[@KendraRN]

@@dionbrooks4981 ok 👌🏾 ok lol

[@Crybaby-cz8et]

@missyjb women were not created to go 50/50 with men. Think about this: God sends a man on your way to be a provider and then in your spirit you are saying you are willing to go 50/50. God will direct that men to someone who wants to attract men who will provide for them. What you manifest in your life is what you get.

[@jazzyjennshighway]

@@Crybaby-cz8etbut we are his “helpmate” as well. If he is a man that does not make more than the wife but he pays most bills & do man work needed around house etc I feel that if a woman loves her spouse she should help to lessen the load. together they are a “team”. Times are different from when woman are just stay at home moms like older days. But if he don’t need any help then by all means sit back & enjoy but realistically & statistically as Kendra says, he may not be able to do it ALL & I think that’s ok if he’s not a scrub but doing the best he can & loves you.

[@nurseadrianern]

I feel ya on groceries- I’m working on my dried bean recipes w these crazy prices

[@BrendaBaBoom]

Beans and rice or beans and greens🥬 never gets old. 😘

[@nurseadrianern]

@@BrendaBaBoom my Lentil Soup game is 🔥

[@SAHMtoRN]

My husband worked two jobs so I could be home with our kids when they were little. That was hard on him. Now, we want balance. He’s working one job and I’m in a second degree RN program

[@KendraRN]

Love this, marriage is teamwork and team effort.

[@ykwtfim]

Exactly our situation!!! I’m not trying to see my husband working nearly every single day of his life, I can’t wait to graduate my RN program. I’ve had a beautiful time in the house, it’s time for balance. In this economy, I’m scared for my husband’s health supporting us and his parents am by himself. It’s too much

[@KathieCash-s8z]

I have been married three times. Have tried 3 different ways to budget a home and family. I am now very happily single. I do what I want, when I want. I ask no one nor do I need anyone’s permission. My children are in their 40’s. My girls were taught that you can’t depend on anyone but yourself. They’re married with careers and children and their homes are jointly “run.”

[@KendraRN]

Being a single woman has many perks. I’m currently single and I enjoy not having to consider anyone else for now.

[@sostell]

I would never expect a man who lives on his own, with his own responsibilities to pay for 100% of my responsibilities.

[@dionbrooks4981]

Thank you baby

[@samuelunang630]

Thank you ..a Good relationship is TEAM work..NOT you depend on a Man

[@thuglife-po5ys]

pickmeisha save your money and allow him to be a man

[@sweetolives2467]

⁠@@thuglife-po5ysOne hand can’t clap. Go on with your rich man. 🤯

[@thuglife-po5ys]

@@sweetolives2467 sure will

[@bxbee1100]

Yes it is quite delusional to expect a man to pay all your bills..no matter their race. That is crazyyyy. This is a recession. And it seems very selfish. Relationships are about partnership

[@KendraRN]

It’s an unrealistic expectation and yes I agree, very selfish.

[@ruthreddick8369]

So who’s providing for the SAHM today??

[@Douglass10]

@@ruthreddick836970% of married women work. So who’s providing for the 30%? Probably the men that can afford it

[@career5690]

@@ruthreddick8369 Good question these women are independent and modern women.

[@nickysunshine8734]

I’m not going 50/50 with NO MAN! It’s not unrealistic!! I’m married and also a Nurse, and my Husband is not looking for me to go 50/50. I only work part-time to keep my license active. I’m home most of the time with my 1 year old son and 11 year old daughters. Choose someone who is doing better financially! It’s Not unrealistic! My husband is black as well! So if you want to Baby a man , or financially support a man 😅well okayyy do you boo 😂

[@KendraRN]

The keyword in your sentence is married and I never said it’s impossible. It’s not about babying a man either, I was very specific in explaining the situation. If a woman is truly desiring a man, partner, or whatever, there are multiple things she must consider, especially if she wants a certain kind of man. Your situation is different, you stated “married” and made reference to 2 children. What age group are you in also? Do the children belong to your husband? Working part time vs prn is a huge difference. Why not prn?

[@nickysunshine8734]

@@KendraRN I mentioned my children’s age. Only one is with my husband. I just recently celebrated my 39th birthday 🥳. I work per-diem for the flexibility. I said I work part-time because I average 24 hours…most of the time. So even as PRN my facility gives you part-time status if you average 24 hrs a week. I like the fact that I don’t have to request time off when I don’t want to pickup, I just let them know I’m available. Anyhow to each it’s own. I still believe even though you may have 2 children from a previous relationship and in your early 40’s I believe you mentioned. You still look good, you take care of yourself and if you go to where the men who have more than you spend their free time. I do believe you can get approached & can possibly turn into something serious. So even though you may not be married right now, I think you can do better than accepting 40% help from a man who earn less. That’s all I am saying. You are beautiful even without being done up, your hair pulled back, nice face, most men like natural nails etc. You look like you dress nice and classy… I just see better for you than what was mentioned in the video.

[@chrisharris2367]

A lot of nurses fall in the trap of taking care of a man I myself admit I got caught somewhat in that trap but one thing I stand on is never paying the mortgage Paying the mortgage and laying up w a man is reprehensible He’s really using you there But this is a slippery slope because in this day and age when ppl leave marriages on a whim I could never again stop working

[@KendraRN]

@@chrisharris2367 Thank you for your honesty Chris. A lot of us have done things that we now look at in total disbelief. Even I myself think sometimes, what the hell was wrong with me.

[@TiannaEss]

💯💯💯

[@Grace2me623]

...or you have a man that is paying 100% for your food, hair, nails etc. while dating you but has unaddressed debt, barely has any retirement savings, no investments, no life insurance and you're looking to marry them. As you said, if you are earning nurse wages it is a bit unrealistic to believe you will not be pitching in and he is financially secure all around unless he is making close to 7 figures

[@KendraRN]

Very unrealistic. Even more for black women looking to date black men. Black women are earning more.

[@NurseJuliaEzeji]

You made a valid point. A man paying 100 percent of the bills is way too much for him.

[@KendraRN]

If he is not wealthy.

[@brianbest6097]

Its also funny women who aspire for a man to pay 100% of the bills but then expect half in divorce. You see tyrese crying about child support, attorney fee's, and alimony. This is why im a firm believer if you have to pay for a womans submssion, feminiity, and loyalty its only a matter of time cause what happens when that man looses it. What goes up must come down.

[@JosephineEze79]

@@brianbest6097 Most of the time, when the woman gets 50%, they have proof that the husband wanted them to stop working or cut down their working hours to be more present in the home.

[@Leleeve]

So why can a single mother do it all? With 4 kids But a man can't pay all the house bills? Make it make sense

[@KendraRN]

@@LeleeveHow much is the man making? What neighborhood do you live in? What kind of lifestyle are you interested in having.

[@msstacey777]

Married but separated now! Big difference… if this ends in Divorce I will just take time for myself to know myself and just live. I don’t want a man coming in and taking care of me as just someone that I am dating. He needs his space and his place and he needs to be financially responsible for himself just as I am for myself. Now if he wants to treat me to something nice (dinner, flowers, mani/pedi, gas card, etc) I will take it. And I may return the favor!!! But if you’re married and say a SAH mom keeping the kids/home than yes he’s the breadwinner but the family will definitely be good. If we are not married but dating…you stay at your place, I will stay at mine and we will meet in the middle. Having a man is nice but not a necessity and this day and time… these men are soft and want a Nurse and a Purse!! Not this nurse girl!! I’m good by myself chile

[@KendraRN]

Lmao, not the nurse and a purse. I agree, marriage is different. I mentioned my married friend whose husband is the bread winner. Perfectly acceptable, she stays home with the 2 small children. You and I are in the same boat, I’m good with dates, flowers, etc. I am not looking for a daddy. Lol

[@msstacey777]

@@KendraRN not a daddy!!! And not trying to be a mommy!!! My 3 kids are grown girl!! Husband walked out (punk) and I’m left to fend on my own. I’m good so having a man is a stressor I don’t need. Shoot I’m looking for a weekend gig for extra $$ just so I can save more and maybe take a nice trip next year that I cash flow with other grown single woman!!! That gig don’t even have to be in nursing but I don’t think I have time for a man! I clean my own gutters, trim my hedges, fix things that KZbin university can help me with. These men nowadays always want something in return if they are just nice to you or help you with a chore…my 🐱 is not for sale! 🤣🤣 I done went on a tangent and all off topic Kendra

[@KendraRN]

@@msstacey777 lol, I love your take! Count me in on that trip when you’re ready.

[@msstacey777]

@@KendraRN yes ma’am!!

[@garlicgirl3149]

Nurse....purse😂😂😂😂

[@TheeMrsChampion]

Single women are already paying 100% of the bills. How are they then going to demand a man come in and pay it all? Like make it make sense!

[@KendraRN]

I think it’s social media portraying false expectations.

[@TheeMrsChampion]

@@KendraRN I agree sis.

[@barbarathomas7679]

I totally agree. Things are very expensive. I have been married for 11 years and I can't imagine my husband paying all the bills because it's expensive. That would be stressful. I'm okay with half, it's better than paying everything yourself. The cost of things are not like back in the day! Women have to be realistic. Love Kendra videos.

[@lawonyinye7056]

Yes, because they are paying only for themselves, that's the point of being single. Most men expect their wives to do all the cooking, house chores and child labour but can't provide 100%?

[@SammyNdlovu1212]

Are single women not paying 100% of their bills? I know a lot who do 🤷🏾‍♀️

[@sharondawilliams7707]

I love your realness about life even outside of nursing!!!👍🏾♥️👩🏽‍⚕️

[@KendraRN]

Lol, I’m very practical. Thank you.

[@sherryderrywade7712]

I agree with you. I watch KendraG show sometimes and think so many women are unrealistic. Numerous black women are earning 100k+, and unable to find males earning same. Character, consistency, time, talent are very important too, not only treasure

[@ReneeDeane]

until you divorce them for cheating on you because they wanted to take you down a peg; and the judge offers them alimony. Never date a man who makes less than you. i don't care if they only make $1 more.

[@KendraRN]

I agree, there needs to be a more realistic approach.

[@KendraRN]

Great point! Women should consider a prenup or refrain from marriage all together to avoid what you mentioned. Remember I said, if a woman cannot find a man that out earns her, she should be okay being single. But some aren’t, many women yearn for marriage/ relationship.

[@monique.thenurse55]

As a nurse myself, I am single , no kids, love living alone,❤️ I have a lot of nieces and nephews I spoil from time to time I still work in hospital as well as work for myself.. 2 incomes of your own is better than 1 .. therefore, I don’t need rely on a man’s income ,he will not live in my house ..I’ve always been independent, I like my own money I’ve been getting since I was a teenager..now I’m in the position where I am doing well for myself..💯

[@KendraRN]

We share lots of similarities, specifically on the making my own money mindset. I’m used to doing what I have to do because I’ve never trusted anyone enough to depend on them. Childhood issues I’m sure but that’s how it’s always been for me.

[@augustvirgo6773]

Me too I am single just bought my home stupid new Neighbors asking where my Man and Kids are. I guess a Man is supposed to come with the House I am not about to get married split anything in half. I had a former Manager whose Husband took her for everything the Lady had to sell her house see why some of us fly solo.

[@thenursesandhypochondriacs20]

Exactly! I spent $45.00 for an entree and a cocktail the other day for myself!! It's expensive to even date! These poor men out there.

[@KendraRN]

Super expensive, lol.

[@ruthreddick8369]

Poor men! No, men need to get creative! There are many things to do other than dinner! Museums, picnics, Off Broadway shows( very affordable). Stop feeling bad for these lazy men

[@career5690]

@@KendraRN Good thing you mentioned if you were to be with a man who has children because there’s black single mothers who have a type to be with men who don’t have children.

[@career5690]

@@ruthreddick8369 Women feel bad for men that’s a sign of being easy on them.

[@UrbanEconomist5]

I’m not going 50/50 when I’m handling stuff 100% on my own with my condo and lifestyle. It’s too many dudes that don’t even have a place to live and I don’t need a roommate lmao AND all my married friends that are 50/50 have two and three extra jobs! Their husband are watching football at night while they work (while also having a 9-5)at Marshall, Homegoods or bartend on the side. Child please 🤣🤣🤣

[@KendraRN]

You don’t have to do anything that’s not feasible for you. I’m highlighting the reality of what’s out there, specifically for women looking for a man who is going to come in and start paying for their expenses and upkeep. The reality is, like I said, the economy is terrible, what’s the percentage of black men capable and willing to hold down a household and that if the current science does not fit, there shouldn’t be an issue remaining single.

[@chrisharris2367]

Sorry to say but they may have lazy husbandS I have men in my family that provide for their wives Only thing is Men that pay 100 percent usually want a woman that acts like a maid in all aspects And I can’t

[@KendraRN]

@@chrisharris2367 So I was speaking only about dating. Marriage is a different ball game. When a husband isn’t lazy, you’re right, he’ll work to provide.

[@UrbanEconomist5]

70/30 is more my ratio but neither 100% or 50/50 is something I would aim for.

[@Missdarling_]

The reason why women quit their jobs in a relationship … is to take care of family. If you don’t plan on having kids or you are already been there done that… it is not necessary to sacrifice your career for your kids if all of them are adults. Also, you can still be a stay at home mom… yes even in today’s enconomy. But most likely you are not gonna have nice things or be able to do expensive things like going to a restaurant and getting alcohol.

[@Missdarling_]

It is SO RISKY, to quit your job for a man you are DATING.

[@garlicgirl3149]

Remember when people would invite you over for dinner? Dessert? Tea? Play cards...

[@stephaniepierre3938]

Im not saying forget about the money aspect, some aren’t even in happy healthy relationships, I’m not saying perfect, but respect me and I respect you first and foremost. Majority of the time that’s not even there. The money can be figured out if you disrespecting your relationship 24/7, what the heck paying for rent going to do when you’re sad or depressed?

[@KendraRN]

That’s an excellent point Stephanie!

[@garlicgirl3149]

Thank you, sister!!! I am so on that train. Can we talk about integrity. In my book, Jeff Bezos had none.

[@kraw7272]

Its nice to find level headed women like those in this chat 👍

[@Beauutyy1]

I love you Kendra. You are so real! I like how you don’t pander to any sex and that you look at things objectively. A lot of women need this from other women

[@KendraRN]

It’s being realistic. Of course we all want to be pampered and whisked away on Caribbean vacations not worrying about the bills being due, however that isn’t going to be the reality for a lot of us.

[@MNP208]

I’ve often wondered why single women don’t get a bigger place together and split the rent and utilities? Maybe even child care?

[@quackdracular7610]

Because contrary to popular belief, women really don't get on well together. As simple as that.

[@chrisharris2367]

The only way I could go 50/50 is if my future husband handed me his paycheck and I handle all the books I refuse to marry a man that doesn’t pay the mortgage That’s my minimum Because I bring a lot to the table

[@KendraRN]

I have no issue with your standard. Marriage requires a different level of financial handling.

[@fromcnatonp]

I have been married for a very long time and some arguments I just stay out of!! However, some a unnu single woman is very delusional I will say that 😂😂 Kendra you are correct! You hit the nail on the head and that is why nuff a dem single and a run down man that is not in their reach! Girl Aldi just lost me when I found out 😂😂😂 😩🤦🏾‍♀️

[@KendraRN]

Laurie I know you can offer a great perspective on this as a married woman. And girl yes, ALDIs need to count their days.

[@Gunngirl]

I agree with you on not expecting him to come in and pay everything. No, I’m not looking for or expecting that. But when you mentioned you feet and nails. Him treating you to a spa day or just a manicure once in a while, on birthdays or just a random surprise, would mean everything to me. Having a moment where you don’t have to pay for something 100% and can get pampered is a bonus for being in a relationship. I don’t know about you, but I’m easy to please.

[@KendraRN]

I agree with you. I would appreciate those things.

[@uchenwaugah2684]

You hit the nail on, there are no lies in all you’ve said

[@KendraRN]

Thank you for watching

[@CL99528]

As a man, who is not poor, I am not the only who is one saying no to not 50/50. Money I worked hard for!

[@KendraRN]

I’m a little confused. You don’t want 50/50? When dating or when married?

[@PatbroBro-sn8yo]

I've gone through a lifetime of various statuses and one thing that rings true is that my partner should never be "outweighed" from his good character, overall ethics and belief system that is the backbone of what I'd be attracted to. Any percentages of whatever the couple's statues and roles played within their dynamics should work out fine, as long as neither are taken advantage of, in any way, whether it's spiritual, emotional, physical nor finacial. That's just my opinion from a single standpoint. Not to mention that traditional marriages where the family has their roles, where homemakers that keep a house a home , so their partner can come home to. After all that's been written, I do believe in two salaries but the percentages, eh shouldn't matter if you with the one you truly love and the backbone of partnership is present.

[@KendraRN]

I don’t disagree, however there are a lot of unrealistic expectations being put out there.

[@michellefutrell3100]

You deserve a good partner because you are fair and honest. I sincerely wish you the best.

[@KendraRN]

I appreciate your kind words.

[@nicoletara353]

I'm all for 50/50, but that also includes house hold chores and cooking. If we are both working, then why not

[@KendraRN]

Marriage is a whole different discussion. There is more commitment and legal obligation. Married couples can work it out however they choose. For the girlfriends or single ladies wanting a man to completely take care of her is what I’m mainly speaking of.

[@dionbrooks4981]

@@nicoletara353 no problem long as you help me cut the grass fix on the car I'm good with it too

[@nicoletara353]

@@dionbrooks4981 no problem at all. I currently cut my own grass and take my car to a mechanic if it needs repairs

[@nicoletara353]

@KendraRN for sure, I agree with the video for the most part. I wouldn't move in with a boyfriend unless I'm engaged and have a date for the wedding scheduled. what I'm saying is I'm down to help cover for costs and have never expected anyone to cover 100%, but we have to meet each other half way when it comes to some responsibilities when married. that's just me. other people may prefer more traditional and that's okay. whatever works for them. if it's just a boyfriend girlfriend thing, 50/50 on dates is perfectly fine

[@nicoletara353]

@@dionbrooks4981 I cut grass and take my car to the mechanic if it needs repairs. also have triple A in case I get stuck somewhere

[@MsMikkiG11]

My Dad was never a rich man. He raised 4 kids and have been married to my Mom for 38 years. He paid all the household bills, maintenance, and groceries. My worked my entire life. Her money was used on my siblings and I clothes, shoes, sports, trips and whatevee we needed. My Dad is traditional man. I truly love that about him. Hopefully, my brothers will do the same with their wives.

[@KendraRN]

Sounds like they had a fair and balanced plan. Your parents sound like amazing people and I’m sure they are.

[@shannonbaker273]

My wife is a nurse and a clinical social worker. We have been 50/50 our entire marriage. It has worked for us. I would never entertain a woman that expected me to pay everything, but that's just me. People have to do what works for them. If a man wants to pay all the bills in his marriage, I could care less. That's their marriage. There isn't a right or wrong.

[@davidsejjombwe2313]

Interesting topic. First time I heard about 50/50 was when i moved to the USA. In African settings, it's the man 100% on bills and the woman 100% on nurturing.

[@KendraRN]

The woman is usually staying at home correct?

[@lawonyinye7056]

That is in theory not pratical. Infact, most women are the ones providing for their families. In an average African home, women even do more because they provide, do all the cooking and child care but because of how male centered African societies are, most African women will dare not say they contribute or are providing for their families. At the end of the day, the man gets all the glory for providing when in actual relality it's a joint effort with women doing more than 70%

[@wkwame06]

Hi Kendra, you are absolutely correct. Good partnership is key. From a black man's point of view, there are other things that we can do to add value to the relationship other than $. Consider all the costs associated with maintaining a home and family (i.e., home maintenance, car maintenance, etc.). To your point, having an expectation for a man to cover everything is unrealistic. I supported my wife during nursing school, and she supported me when it was my turn in nursing school.

[@mistermilkman]

Some people r delusional. 1 of the things I'm noticing with some of the black women ur speaking about don't even put themselves n position 2 meet guys that have the earning power 2 support 2 households (if dating). 1 of the things I've noticed with white women who end up with athletes or men who earn high wages, they frequent places & clubs that these high earners attend. They also keep up with their appearances. A lot of females that ur speaking of want a man 2 take them as they r, but don't consider if that high earning man is attracted 2 what they present. That's where the delusions come n. I'm finding that a lot of women r providing 4 men whom if they were able would never do the same 4 them. I'm big on being a man who provides, but within means. I'm not paying rent & utilities r 4 a girlfriend. It doesn't make sense n my mind.

[@KendraRN]

Right! I mentioned that, the part about what high earning, millionaire men are attracted to. We need to be more realistic, also economically, it’s rough out here.

[@mistermilkman]

@@KendraRN This is y I don't like or get n2 gender wars. It goes nowhere. There's really no nice way 2 put anything. U either get it or don't. Many r not even n these dating streets, yet bashing the opposite sex just bc it's the thing 2 do these days (clicks & views 4 some). It's really simple....we're not compatible, we move on.

[@234forte]

I'm a single woman and I would not go 50/50 while dating, I will date within his income range. I would go to restaurants with in his range, help him with coupons, groupons and suggest coffee dates, parks and other free or low cost dates. I believe that a man should pay for dates and gifts period. Also why would you get with someone who was paying his bills independently then move in go into 50/50 when he was paying his bills before I came. Your grocery scenario is off also, it will be 1 more adult so your grocery bill will be more so you will not save.

[@KendraRN]

Ummm who said anything about moving in together??? You’re adding things that were not mentioned. I clearly said he does not live with me - hypothetically because I’m single like a dollar bill.

[@ghettoghost305]

So if you move in with him what do you intend to do? You don’t intend to pay a bill but you are gainfully employed right? Very selfish. Like do you not intend to work or what if you move in with a man or get married? Then, how can you date within his income range because if I were a man, a woman wouldn’t know how much I make. I have three sons and I be darn if a woman thinks any of my sons are going to just pay for everything unless they’re married to the lady and she’s a SAHM. Even as a SAHM, once the kids get a certain age, the SAHM can get a side hustle because the worst thing is to get blindsided by a divorce when you are depending on a man for everything and literally having to start over especially if you have small kids that you as the woman get full custody of. A court order cannot force a man to pay alimony and/or child support and if you’re as a woman is strapped for money, good luck with hiring a lawyer to constantly fight for it, which is costly. Never depend on a man for everything especially if you’re capable of taking care of yourself.

[@Douglass10]

Well that’s why you’re single

[@awesomegirl97]

@@ghettoghost305 Are you married?

[@garryharden8830]

The fact that you are really putting truth to fantasy makes you high valued woman. Not that you weren't before, yet the simplicity and honesty you bring will make any man you date want to marry you and work his butt of for you and his extended family. Men don't want to (real men) live off women and drive their cars. But they do want someone who understands the struggle and that can move him possibly to a higher dimension and even higher tax bracket that benefits the family! Gratitude Queen.

[@sirbesente]

Right that’s why I like your nursing channel it’s very real , you just being real a lot of people be fake

[@tinaandtheworld]

If a woman who is not married to a man, has a man paying your mortgage and other bills, you're a high price kept woman to put it politely. Groceries, bills, mortgage etc... are your responsibility, if he wants to pay for dinner that's one thing, but the rest of that is absolutely stupid and ridiculous. Why are self-sufficient women trying to be a kept woman??

[@KendraRN]

I think it’s what people are seeing in social media. Curated content about being a stay at home girlfriend and having rich boyfriends are goals for many women.

[@okitojames5180]

Just like this girl I met online wanted me to pay her phone bill and never seen her in person before,I told can you help me pay my student loans becauseam broke.

[@KendraRN]

So you didn’t pay the phone bill??? Lol

[@Eli-tq8fj]

Lmao!! You never seen her! How much loan u got? Thats what is keeping us broke for real

[@okitojames5180]

@KendraRN lol no nursing have me almost 50g in debt

[@Eli-tq8fj]

@@okitojames5180 damn. I m in school and may have that

[@lrf1013]

The stats that show blk men earning significantly lower than blk women is glaring but also we as blk women should date where we are appreciated our options are many blk men have been n will date out til time is no more. Let’s do what’s in our best interest n stay hydrated!!! Love ya nurse Kendra!!! I appreciate you sharing!! Be well!!❤

[@KendraRN]

Very true. I’m not opposed to that idea at all. There are still so many Black women that refuse to consider dating other races.

[@ExTRAErrestrial_Travels]

@@lrf1013 The stats do not show that; average income for black men is $45,864 & black women is $40,188 in the US according to latest US labor statistics. As far as 100k+ earners it’s around 7-9% for black men & 3-5% for black women. People vastly overestimate earnings in our community. This data is easily findable on the BLS, US Census, Pew Research center etc. We as a community have to start sitting down and looking at the hard cold facts; instead of what’s around us. If you have a friend group of mostly nurses then your view on finances is warped when considering the community as a whole which unfortunately is second to the bottom only beating out Hispanics.

[@NS-zu4gm]

I'm glad you spoke facts about dating because I watch the kendara G dating show and I'm like these women are delusional when it comes financial status. Like Kendra G says millionaire men have expectations that you have to be ok with, like working long hours, having high chances of cheating, controlling, looking like a put together barbie or even younger looking. She says women want these millionaire men.But they don't want what comes with being a millionaire.Man like the things i've mentioned above. Because a millionaire man will go for a woman who makes way less because he's not looking at finances, but he's looking at everything else. Kendra G says the same things you say. She's like women are going to lose out on great men with this expectation of they got to make six figures at all times or be millionaire.

[@KendraRN]

I am glad you got my point. Not every man is making high 6 figures to pay all the bills and provide you with a luxury lifestyle. That’s the key part too, many woman are wanting trips, luxury purchases, beautiful homes that are aesthetically pleasing, luxury vehicles. What are the chances of meeting a man who can provide all of that????

[@MsLotusBlooms]

​​@@KendraRN which is weird. If bw care more about resources, why are they refusing to go to the men with the most? Stop trying to make poorer men become rich.

[@lawonyinye7056]

But an average earning man can still have these terrible qualities so what's the point? You think being 50/50 prevents a man from cheating or being controlling?

[@mushii965]

Aldi’s is a hit or miss. My fiancé and I go EARLY on Sunday morning (before 10 am), and we buy groceries for the week. About 70% of the time, we’re able to stock up on 50% off produce (chicken thighs, chicken breast, ground beef, salmon)- otherwise it’s regular price. Since we don’t have kids, we can afford to be an “ingredient only” household… no premade snacks/ready made food, which is probably the reason it’s difficult for families to shop there. Overall, we typically spend $120 a week for a full grocery haul, and about 3 hours of meal prep on Sunday (he buys the food and I cook and meal prep the food )

[@KendraRN]

Sounds like you all have this down pact. Having children and grocery shopping in these times is a hell of a combo. I’m hoping we can get some relief soon.

[@marlenesmith1076]

With BM it's never 50/50,BW will end up paying more and sometimes all. Been there done that with no returns. Happy single. I choose me. Period!

[@KendraRN]

I don’t disagree. It’s important to ALWAYS choose yourself 1st. That’s why I said a lot of women must be content and comfortable remaining single if they cannot find a suitable partner.

[@marlenesmith1076]

@@KendraRN All the best for you and your family Kendra. Protect your energy!

[@notyet2345]

They want to you to pay half of the bills but they don't want to do half of the chores..........I personally am too lazy for marriage and kids.....as a single child free woman, I wash clothes once a week, I clean the house once a week and I cook when I feel like. My workload quadruples as soon as I get married and increase with each child. THere's no way in hell will I go to work full time and than come home and do household chores by myself....if he ain't doing 50% of the chores, I'm not paying 50% of the bills.

[@KendraRN]

Marriage and cohabitation requires a different standard. Women end up doing more in those situations, most of the times, so 50/50 does not apply. I was speaking about dating and wanting a man to provide you with a certain lifestyle.

[@UpdatedView]

Honestly, it really doesn’t work like that. My mom and dad had all boys. We cooked, clean, did laundry and many more household chores both indoor and outdoor. I actually cleaned better than my wife. We have a housekeeper that comes 4x per week now. There are men that don’t mind helping around the house. Trust me

[@lindondavid8764]

You spoke the truth Kendra. Awesome!

[@constantiariley6642]

Please to do a topic on self care for newnurses Eating properly, going to school and time management

[@KendraRN]

@@constantiariley6642 I can try. It’s a struggle

[@LazyFitChik]

Great Topic!! 💪❤

[@KendraRN]

A little controversial but much needed. Thank you .

[@cwht1708]

Honestly I’m not even worried about coupling with a man right now. FIRST you have to find a man WORTHY…. When he’s on his own he’s paying 100% just like we are….. I’m not willing to cut a man a deal. I’ll meet him and see what HE’S OFFERING NOT WHAT HE’S GOING TO TELL ME WHAT HE’S GOING TO GIVE ME! Been there don’t that! Will not settle ever again!

[@KendraRN]

Owwwww!!!! I like that! 🙌🏾🙌🏾🙌🏾

[@cwht1708]

@@KendraRN ……And you know what to add…. As you mention we out earning those men…. These men are at a better advantage BECAUSE of our career choice and WE SIGNED for those student loans. WE HAVE WAY MORE INVESTED! Unless he is willing to help me pay off my student loan debt that he would benefit from, I would not take him seriously. ….. So we have the house, car, insurance(s), student loans, career, our divinity and body…..naw! No breaks! We have far too much to lose! I won’t suggest what you should do but grading on a curve is NOT THE PLAY 💕

[@KendraRN]

@@cwht1708 thank you, I will definitely remember your take on this.

[@cwht1708]

@@KendraRN Much love always 💕

[@Lovebk98]

50/50 works perfect for roommate situations not in marriage.

[@KendraRN]

This chat wasn’t for marriage or married folks. Only for people who are dating and not even living together.

[@richarddean1854]

I myself also PCT. Nurse and agree with the other nurse, myself and both parents were college educated but it took longer for Dad to make it so Mom was a administrator and making all the money in the house until pop's finished college and got a high paying careers I don't have a wife but I personally have let other women like my sister live with me and support her for some time she never paid back a dime but that how family works the other guy in the column who said he and his wife are very high earning but she was the one first that usually how it goes i personally know a pair of Doctors the wife supported the house hold until the husband finally finished school she still makes more than him but they pay the bills together fifty fifty or what ever it takes. PCT Nurse. now I'm holding down additional jobs in a few states hospital are closing due to the economy and other hospitals in the area which is dangerous because people need emergency services.

[@FezCaliph]

Thank goodness. I thought the title meant you refuse to go 50/50 😫

[@KendraRN]

Hahahaah😂😂😂😂 not at all

[@nicolehinds1650]

You're perfecto! That is why most relationships will not work. People have to be realistic and be fair. The best way is to work together and share.

[@KendraRN]

Instagram came and changed the expectations, lol.

[@BrendaBaBoom]

FOOD HAS ALWAYS been an important element in my life with most individuals I come to interact with. 🍱 🥘 🍲 🥤

[@gwilliams54]

Putting money over God destroyed our people.

[@rrt401]

Another 💯% on point video Kendra!!!

[@KendraRN]

Thank you!!

[@85robinw]

Totally agree. There is no way a man could do all of that, yours and his comfortably, legitimately...

[@KendraRN]

When dating, exactly. Some people started mentioning marriage even though I was not talking about married couples, only folks that are dating.

[@missb1982]

No lies here. Excellent points.

[@KendraRN]

Thank you! All I’m doing is pointing out the reality of what’s happening out here. The statistics aren’t lying and Black women who want to date Black men have to be aware. What we see on IG is very curated. How many of our men can provide and give us the luxury lifestyle many women desire??

[@peacefreedom4930]

I think there are nuisances to this conversation. There are cultures where the men are expected to be providers and they live up to that expectation, regardless of the state of the economy. In the black American culture that hasn’t been the standard and therefore most BM aren’t prepared for that. Most BW have been raised to provide for themselves. But there are many BM who want to be seen as the head, respected like a provider, when in fact both people are working full time. BM feel emasculated when we don’t pretend with them. Many BW end up working full time, getting a higher education, being the primary caregiver for children, and managing the household, while the man works full time and believes that’s all he’s responsible for. That’s not 50/50. BM believe you should be a superwoman. So why is it unrealistic for you to believe they should be a Superman? If you need to carry/birth children, nurse them, nanny them, cook, clean, run errands, be an assistant, counselor, planner, personal shopper, chauffeur, point of contact, organizer, host, s3x partner, companion, college student, all while working a full time job, why can’t he pay the bills? Men have audacity and high expectations. Women have been conditioned to accept the bare minimum and we get exactly that. BW have been running themselves ragged trying to live up to these expectations while men coast. If BM want 50/50 they need to start being true partners and take on more of the labor, including emotional labor. Otherwise, being with them is more work for the women.

[@SanctifiedLady]

I am a nurse and i do OMAD...😂 one meal a day and I eat high quality home cooked meals. I prep a lot on the weekends and carry my lunch to work usually ribeye steak and veggies. Yep, one meal, i grocery shop once or twice a month. I cook cabbage, greens, and freeze it in bulk, cooks all kind of bean dishes and freeze it. I have spaghetti frozen in bulk. Every is so much more flavorful. You are right about everything, if there is a nice man out there, we don't know what package he will come with. I think if we are able to provide for ourselves individually and what we brought into it.... we are doing great to start. The issues may arise with blending in comes, lifestyle creep... him wanting you to get your nails and head combed 😂😂😂 jk. Lifestyle creep is so easy with two incomes. ❤

[@KendraRN]

I need to start being like you when it comes to the meal prepping. Thank you for watching and commenting.

[@bellatcup8]

We both work. He takes care of rent and utilities. I take care of FOOD and some household items. I take care of my self care (maintenance) we both have student loans. It’s a team work. Yes he makes way more than me but, I do my part. I spend $480 on food monthly for family of 2! You are absolutely right. We live in real time and people need to wake up.

[@KendraRN]

This sounds fair and balanced. Thank you for sharing ♥️

[@angangaus]

i have many good friends who are women and am honest with them when i say... once a man travels outside the country... the women here are invisible to him🙏🏿😪. And am not referring to sex tourists, who are in their own right to do whatever they want. Nothing about the dating culture here is appealing to most men of substance.

[@JAYWIL01]

💯

[@onmycameraroll]

I definitely think a woman should have her own. But, 50/50 is something that I could never do because if both people are not earning the same amount of money then someone (typically the woman) is actually paying more out of her income. And another reason is because there are men that are taking care of other MEN financially so men have no problem doing it they just do it for who they deem worthy.

[@MadeByTriniLena]

Well sis, we definitely have to be realistic in this day & age

[@KendraRN]

We do! By no means am I saying settle for less but if a woman wants a man that does all the things, she also has some things to do and maintain.

[@MadeByTriniLena]

@@KendraRN Indeed

[@Melaninking33]

I feel like when it comes to finances, most people are not looking at the right things. If you’re a high six figure earner, male of female, but you don’t have a good amount saved for retirement, have lots of high interest debt, student loans, terrible spending habits, then what difference does it make if you make more than your partner who doesn’t have all those things? We have to stop focusing on How much people make and pay more attention to what people do with their money.

[@KendraRN]

This is an excellent perspective. It’s not how much you make but how much you keep. Very true.

[@ReneeDeane]

First, there is no expectation for men we aren't married to, to pay all our expenses. Second, women work full time and we are not coming home to do all the cooking, cleaning, and childcare and then still pay half. Something has to give.

[@KendraRN]

Agree! Marriage definitely requires more thought. When I did this video, I wasn’t speaking about married women, only dating. ♥️

[@awesomegirl97]

I totally agree with you!

[@Simeon1212]

We should normalize 50/50 . Honestly it also gives woman more freedom and flexibility to make their own decisions.

[@KendraRN]

In a marriage or when dating?

[@Simeon1212]

@@KendraRN when dating . But in a marriage it’s a little different. & I agree ☝🏾 with your post !

[@KendraRN]

@@Simeon1212 For sure, marriage is a different ball game.

[@guitarsinger1231]

Being totally dependent on a man ALL the time, wouldn't be the best move. I don't necessarily agree with 50/50 either. Someone put another perspective in mind when they said if you have children there is no 50/50 when you are bringing his children into the world. Body totaling changing, hormones all over the place, losing hair & teeth, hard pregnancies, sometimes death.

[@KendraRN]

Living with, having children together, married, are quite different than dating, no kids, living separate . I don’t disagree.

[@acivilright]

I always make more than men I date. I always plan to split expenses proportionally. 50/50 is unreasonable in my circumstances. However, I never tell the guy I'm dating this until things are serious. After we are serious, it's reasonable for us to alternate who pays on dates. I plan to cover myself in the beginning always, but if he offers to cover me or go Dutch, I will accept. You're point about thean never being around if he pays for everything is very valid and real. This is why imo so many "my man covers everything" women I know don't actually like have good relationships once you put everything under a magnifying glass. If he has to work 80 hours or more a week and is only home when he is sleeping and you are doing your job plus taking care of the household plus any children... well maybe you didn't want a relationship really but rather someone to sleep with who pays the bills. I don't want someone who just pays bills. I want a companion, someone who helps with the household tasks and any kids, and someone who contributes to the bills 🤷🏾

[@KendraRN]

Thank you for sharing and understanding me. Many of us will out earn the men we encounter, so having unreal expectations will only set many women up for disappointment. Thank you, thank you for your input.

[@seansterling8211]

It is call humble and respect.

[@nuiwai5402]

Well said Kendra❤ in New Zealand its hard here to.

[@KendraRN]

Hi there! Thank you.

[@firandcurly84]

I definitely have to do 50/50 ill pay half the bills and then whatever Zi want to buy for myself,grandchildren, it's whatever my hearts desire I will not be begging and pleading, with anyone. I have have an equal say in my household.

[@regi3875]

Yes this not your usual topic but I like it!

[@KendraRN]

Lol. This topic just popped into my head randomly a few weeks ago and I had to get it out.

[@deanayousef]

I tried the intermittent fasting to save money too 😂😂 only to end up going through a drive through & eating & spending way more than I would. 😅

[@jomo3735]

A man should be bringing more than a woman because they still make more… If he doesn't than he should bring more 😂😂😂 I thought you were married?! In reality it all depends… I prefer being by myself than having to deal with some buster at the moment💁‍♀️😂

[@KendraRN]

Lol. “Were” is the keyword, 😉. It’s always nice if the man makes more but that isn’t the case these days. Also if he is, he might be busy working all the time.

[@garlicgirl3149]

You know Kendra I used to be afraid to talk about this topic with other Black women. No more! Like you said, to each his own but from what I see on my area. Black women are alone. I see all these videos discussing Black wo.en and the horrible attitudes. This is from Black men and women, old and young. Where did these attitudes come from?!! What I have noticed is that if a man does want to pay for it all...are you willing to reduce your standards of living? Be creative with how you live. No, most are not willing to do that. Our parents and grandparents did not have a lit. Big Mama could always feed everyone and make it delicious, too! I was listening to Michelle Singletary on the radio. Most people she said do not know the difference between need and want. Truth! Reality...most don't look at her until the end . Then it is too late.

[@KendraRN]

@@garlicgirl3149 we need these conversations. I don’t have an issue with women, Black women having high standards. I just wish they would be more realistic. You can’t have it all.

[@dinolemma]

All I know is I need to raise our children so my husband has to pay the bills.

[@KendraRN]

Sure thing! There’s not enough money to pay a mother who focuses solely on child rearing.

[@career5690]

Maybe your friend only dates within her race that’s why she out earns them poor thing.😢

[@KendraRN]

Lol, not “poor thing” 🤣🤣🤣. You’re correct, she refuses to venture out, lol.

[@career5690]

@@KendraRN sad 😢

[@MsLotusBlooms]

​@@KendraRN She doesn't qualify for other types of men. Any woman that chooses a low earning man is choosing struggle. She is self sabotaging and want to be a victim of her own making.

[@seansterling8211]

The Bible he who does not provide for his family is worst than an unbeliever. The imperative word is “he”. And not she. So to solve this issue go back to the true word of our Lord God. Our problem is we think we know more than our maker. We obeyed man’s law so y can’t we obey the word of our Lord God.

[@KendraRN]

But is “He”, doing so? The men are the ones that need to hear this.

[@seansterling8211]

@@KendraRN The word of our Lord God through Jesus Christ is free for everyone. You either obey or not. It’s free will. U go to the traffic stop u obey. U don’t say I don’t feel like. Let’s c how far ur feeling take if u do not stop on red at the traffic light. We not only create problems for ourselves but problems also to others at the traffic light. We have to choose peaceful life and order at that light or problem and confusion. The devil is the author of confusion.

[@kwameopoku3576]

Great vid btw ❤️from 🇬🇧

[@KendraRN]

I appreciate you watching. Thank you!

[@KathieCash-s8z]

I meant to send you this tidbit, but I forgot. Several weeks ago out unit, orthopedics, received a pt with a fractured humerus. Of course it was a weekend and it wasn’t considered emergent so he was scheduled for Monday. Well, his PMH and social history was not complete and you guessed it. He’s an alcoholic. So by Monday he was beginning to go through DTs. He was climbing out of bed. Bed rails are not a deterrent. The day shift called director to request a 1:1 sitter. Well, director said she couldn’t give approval, only the CNO could!! This person hasn’t been at the bedside in many years. Approval was finally given. They’d had the order for a long time. This still irritates me to no end. After surgery a couple of days later he went to ICU. He should have been sent there Monday. Even Ativan and haldol were useless.

[@KendraRN]

I can only imagine how time consuming caring for him was. Hospital admin do not care. The director not being able to approve a sitter for an obvious safety issue is wild to say the least.

[@mrmoe110]

Yeah there’s a reason Sams club and Costco stay packed every day. Buying in bulk is better than shopping at a regular grocery store. But everything costs more. So you might spend a lot at the warehouses but you won’t have to shop as much

[@KendraRN]

I’ve never had membership to either. Maybe I’ll check one of them out for the new year.

[@TheLegend-uq1gz]

Whatever you are looking for in a potential spouse, you have to be that person yourself. For example; a 3-piece suit doesn’t go with a flip flop.

[@KendraRN]

I don’t disagree at all.

[@LadyLetii]

USA has intentionally made it so that 2 incomes are required to stay afloat. Marriage is a partnership. Biblically women brought in income as well. The man is the main bread winner though.

[@KendraRN]

Great point, thank you for your input. You’re so right!

[@abandon.3897]

6:57 Facts ...

[@Don-kk7ou]

American culture is so weird for others black around the world.

[@KendraRN]

I’m sure, lol

[@vivimanchester2541]

No, Kendra!!!’ You deserve more than $80 towards groceries. Especially, at Whole Foods. Cmon!!! Olive oil alone is $40. If he can’t give more than I can give myself, no deal 🙅🏾‍♀️ lol

[@vivimanchester2541]

FYI-Target has organic food, and it’s cheaper than Whole Foods.

[@KendraRN]

Lol, thank you 😊

[@KendraRN]

Lol, thank you 😊. My daughter works there, so I get 20% off. Remember though, he has his own place, he’s paying for all the dates, etc.

[@vivimanchester2541]

@@KendraRN lol Yuh still deserve more! You bring a lot to the table. It’s possible!!! 😘

[@xCapone47x]

​No, Kendra is right, and that “it’s possible” attitude is keeping too many women nowadays single throughout the best years of their lives until they reach a certain age and realize they’re no longer being approached by men only to find that they’re now desperate and on the path of dying alone. The economy and times are different now, this is not the 90’s and early 2000’s. That small percentage of men that every woman is looking for is not abundant and available for every woman. Women just need to focus on finding a decent working man that they’re attracted to that’s willing to build a life with you.

[@laurap7624]

I have come across people who would say anything online like they partners are doing 100% ...meet the finances behind closed doors...they ll go with the social media flow..but...ah haaaa...again..some people...😮

[@appeav]

Agreed

[@acivilright]

And yes girl I shop at Whole Foods, Wegmans, Costco. I have been to Aldi. And no, it ain't cutting it. Just like Trader Joe's isn't. 😂 TJs is cute or whatever but no they don't have everything I need quality wise.

[@KendraRN]

Same!!! I don’t know how people do a full grocery shopping from Aldi’s.