Rejection Sensitivity, Purpose, and Insomnia

[@florencefauna]

Hearing how Bob talks about his wife makes me teary eyed. He is seems so pure and sweet.

[@maciw456]

I have watched / heard probably hundreds if not a thousand videos over the past several months and this is the first one that brought me tears

[@blondefisk]

I was Diagnosed with ADHD at 30, and at 32 with ASD as well. Raised believing I was simply a problem to everyone. I still only expect rejection in all the forms it comes in. The daily pain is awful.

[@LadyBlacksheep]

Loved the rant

[@tatianamyers4820]

Woah. I had no idea rejection sensitivity was more prevalent in people with ADHD. Thanks for chatting about this. Super helpful.

[@Irohsteashop92]

don't feel bad Bob! I still find that moment hilarious :D

[@miriam9357]

Bob! Thank you 🙏🏽 Thank you for your kind words on purpose, I was walking home when I was listening to this and I’m doing ok now but your voice of encouragement took me back to when I didn’t appreciate my surroundings. Two years ago I was really focusing on all my griefs and I’m not sure what changed but you saying “hang in there” feels so rewarding to hear now looking back in hindsight ❤️🫂🫂🫂🫂 it’s so small but I’m going to write how this made me feel in my journal to document it. And thanks Dr Honda for letting Bob feel sadness when Bob thought about his wife. I liked that you didn’t rush Bob into a different subject. I really like how I feel listening to you podcasts Hoonda 👍

[@LT-tf8co]

I think Bob's love toward his wife is healing his own childhood wounds.

[@stephaniesilvan3526]

In my next life, I want to find someone who loves me like Bob loves Colleen - and learn to love like that in return.

[@irisbear9421]

Rejection Sensitivity is something one of my teens still struggles with, and we are trying to work through it. Thanks for addressing this.

[@MAIMEDWOLF]

It is such a good thing that you are trying to work to understand them, you are doing the right thing as a parent that sadly a lot of parents dont do.

[@Shannon-gz9pg]

I appreciate the frustration with the state of the pandemic but as a current graduate student in public health I think the blame on individuals really misses the larger picture. Folks who are vaccine hesitant or anti-vax are doing real harm and we need to combat it. However, this doesn't come out of nowhere. People are turning to this type of rhetoric in response to all sorts of outside factors like valid medical distrust and feelings of powerlessness in the face of illnesses.

[@MS-42]

As a therapist with ADHD who also works with a lot of clients with ADHD, I also think that a lot of people with ADHD (maybe especially those who weren't diagnosed when younger?) are often hyper aware of other people's moods. Perhaps this is because of the schema of rejection that is already there, but I do think that there also may be something to the theory that people who are neurodivergent have overactive mirror neurons and high empathy--not low, like many people characterize people who are neurodivergent (it seems especially so for people who have autism) and the experiences that result from that high empathy are so intense and overwhelming that they feel a need to dull that empathy or move away from interactions with others or however it ends up manifesting. With the schema of rejection already being there, when they perceive someone's anger, hurt, etc, they then automatically think that they must have done something wrong. I often see this with people with CPTSD, as well, who had to learn to be very aware of their caregivers moods and emotions--they often later misread the *why* part of a person's mood more often than misreading the mood itself.

[@roglacken]

To the lady in Scandinavia, I would suggest getting a pet. Our cat has been the best therapy we have ever had. She is the only soul in our life who has given us unconditional love. We take care of her and she takes care of us. Just a thought. -John

[@QurVgn]

Yes. I was thinking about my dog. I don’t have human friends and my dog is my love. 💕

[@badmamjamma]

True! Volunteering at an animal shelter, etc, is also helpful. Or if one happens to not be an animal person, volunteering for any good cause that you have affinity for is wonderfully helpful.

[@QurVgn]

@@badmamjamma Yes! I’ve been on disability after spending a decade getting my BA and going to grad school - and having my dreams just blow up - and my life right now feels meaningless. So I have to find meaning somewhere else - like volunteering. But the volunteering has to be a good fit. They have to let me do something that isn’t just stuffing envelopes. I had my stuffing envelope years already. 😉

[@avocado184nhs82]

i've had sleep problems for years. ill fall asleep but i will be anxious while im sleeping and ill wake up feeling anxious and super tired (not in a sleepy sense). the other day i felt for the first time in a very long time actually tired and ready to sleep. that week i had exhausted myself and been through intense stress, so im guessing thats why. when i cant sleep i try deep breathing either taking 10 deep breaths or counting my breath going up to 10 then backwards to 1 and so on. seems to work most of the time. ive also been afraid of sleep before, and i dont have that now but that was terrible, would wake myself up everytime i was drifting into sleep, not even consciously but my body would react that way. also theres nothing wrong with getting some help with medication. our bodies need sleep and maybe some people can function on little to no sleep but to me it was awful, and i will be alot calmer throughout the day if im getting good sleep. also sleeping is like the best feeling ever

[@abandonablesnowman]

I always love the pride Kirk takes in his short shorts. Idk if he knows they’re actually in style now

[@therabbithat]

The hand push thing was talked about in the est cult that Tony Robbin's was into, he famously used it with a woman who asked about MeToo a few years ago and got a lot of criticism, because in the est version (that he uses), no matter how the person responds to you pushing on their hand you say it is a reflection of something bad about their personality. A woman who asked about MeToo, he came into the audience and came up to her, told her to hold out her fist, and then started pushing her across the room. "Why are you pushing back? I didn't tell you to push back. You're still pushing on me, why are you still pushing? Why is she still pushing? When you push someone else, it doesn't make you more safe"

[@theamp1986]

I still struggle with rejection sensitivity. Thank you!

[@emilaubry6856]

Thank you for articulating this issue of how many ignorant irrational fear-mongering selfish children there are in America.

[@PlantBasedBride]

Love the Star Trek talk at the end! You should definitely watch DS9, it’s the best series by far.

[@therabbithat]

Yeah DS9 and Voyager... DS9 for the characters and politics and Voyager for really creative stand alone sci fi plots

[@pascalelewis]

Yoooo the pandemic talk was ROUGH tho! Hearing Dr Kirk bang on the table in anger and helplessness really got to me. It's just so maddening to think that we could be dealing with this virus or variants for the rest of our lives 😣 That thought / reality is terrifying to me and honestly it gets me into a really dark mindset sometimes. It's dramatic but since the pandemic hit, I feel like I'm constantly mourning the life I saw and wanted for myself, meanwhile I'm sacrificing A LOT in order to prioritize staying safe and avoiding contamination. Ugh, it feels hopeless sometimes, I know it isn't hopeless but it's still such a scary time... Everyone out there - stay safe because you deserve it, you really really do ❤️

[@irisbear9421]

Having a "uniform" saves you from decision fatigue. I highly recommend it.

[@sunnypie2]

☺️ you guys are so fun to listen to. I love the ending conversation and how it jumped around 🤭

[@Indigo00eyez]

BUY THE TOP COLLEEN!!💖💖

[@therabbithat]

Iran already has IR and their population is much bigger than ours so I think they deserve it. Also the Irish name for Ireland is Eire so it's like the first letter of the English name followed by the first letter of the Irish name, so that's nice. They could have gone with IRL or ROI .. I dunno, I like IE, it's friendly.. were those two letters associated with Ireland before? I don't know.. There's also .irish for stuff related to the language.. In some countries you do actually have to memorise the textbook more or less. I studied psychology in Spain and they would have tiny details on the test. EVEN THE FOOTNOTES. Sometimes things that weren't even related to psychology, I got a question about myocardia wrong because the writer of the textbook put it in as a fun fact and I Didn't think it was important to remember it as it wasn't about psychology

[@velvetsofa]

Hi Dr Honda! I absolutely love your podcast and videos. They have had a truly significant impact on my life. I am so grateful. Dr Honda, this is incredibly minor so please feel free to ignore it, but would it be possible to make the podcast's outro music a slightly lower volume? I like the outro music but I must admit the volume almost always startles me into a bit of a jump! 😂

[@lannaintajak80]

Dr. Kirk, I want a "For sure" t-shirt.

[@biaabiaa]

More on RSD please!!! Also, could you do a reaction video to the new episode of bachelor in paradise?!

[@Dr.AlexMora]

It's not about heroism. It is a matter of common decency. This is an idea that can make you laugh, but the only way to fight the plague is common decency. " Albert Camus; The plague (1947)

[@snicolex]

Wear whatever you like kirk ! Let the haters hate 😋

[@TheGamingFilly]

"It could be a symptom of Borderline" - OHHHHHH, so *that* is why so many autistic and ADHD women report initially being misdiagnosed with BPD before getting their autism/ADHD diagnosis (I'm not denying that there is high comorbidity between the three as well). RSD is something I see discussed a lot in neurodivergent social circles

[@norbertavecchio1996]

It's surprising to hear Dr Honda slam the desk in frustration at the people who are scared of the Covid vaccine. The frustration is completely understandable, but usually Dr Honda has compassion for everyone and sees that events beyond their control led them to make really poor decisions.

[@avocado184nhs82]

maybe he was having a bad day

[@tinkerbelltheredhead]

Really enjoyed this 👌

[@kristaquin]

P.S. Will you invite Daniel Erichsen to guest on your show? Should I become a patron to make this happen? Just tell me where to put my money to make this happen. Thanks byee

[@jagger8357]

In order to combat my anxiety as I try to fall asleep, I have to fantasize about something all-encompassing or super dramatic. Mostly sex or death

[@theablue9224]

Hey guys! Do you know where Kirk father and grandfather were working? He was mentioning that couple of times and I always miss that 😅

[@dilaudum1075]

Yeay Bob!

[@Indigo00eyez]

For RLS I get up and walk around for just a couple of minutes and it’s fine.

[@Indigo00eyez]

I live in KY, please don’t assume that all southerners are flat earthers! My town is full of nurses, residents, etc. The vaccine will have to be mandated!

[@racharina]

I m so tired of people doing the wrong thing... and the sad part it is for political reasons

[@jollyrogers75]

Wow - my comment was removed. How incredibly disappointing. And telling.

[@quiescenttaro6642]

HOBBIES...STRENGTHENING YOUR FAITH IN YOUR RELIGION AND MAKING NEW FRIENDS WITH SIMILAR INTERESTS THAT ACCEPT YOU CAN HELP COLLEEN

[@aisoaification]

The way the guest spoke about his wife was creepy to me sorry, I know it may sound immature or insensitive but it was so creepy and cringe to me for some reason