Rekindling Romantic Intimacy in a Relationship

[@chrismilligan1824]

This is spot on; I was married at 19 (now we're both 45). We were clueless and naive, and nearly separated several times. Now, 26 years into this marriage, we are using these techniques to grow closer and communicate our wants and needs regularly. And I can also say that our sexual frequency is nearly unbelievable.

[@Milestonemonger]

My husband and I love to make each other laugh. We've been married 40 years now 💘

[@IlluminatedWings]

Sharing in laughter builds intimacy💗😊

[@hannesRSA]

Cool, my wife and I like to make each other miserable. But I still have 18 years left to perfect the art.

[@JaketheJust]

Congratulations

[@Serena-Vanderwoodsen]

I’m not crying YOURE crying! 🥹

[@londochel]

Congrats

[@carolm6126]

My husband of 58 years passed 9 months ago. I miss our intimate times most of all.

[@sitcomchristian6886]

I'm sorry for your loss. I can only imagine.

[@PinkSallyProductions]

I feel so fortunate to be alive on this earth at the same time as Jordan Peterson. I may never get to meet him, or have the money to afford to have him as my therapist, yet I still learn so much from him. Thank you. Be well 🌹

[@liannewilson9701]

When my husband proposed, he promised to ‘woo’ me forever. He has kept that promise 💕

[@ultimatedoug2227]

Hopefully he doesnt have the same attitude when you need to be corrected constructively

[@alenaadamkova7617]

I think in every habit Ed Mylett "compound pounding" effect is the best solution... in sport, in business, in relationships. 1. If you use compound pounding in sport, (exercissing for an hour) you will see no results in 5 days, but you will see big results in 100 days. 2. If you will say a good morning to people, you will see no effect in 5 days, but you will see a great difference in 100 days. 3. If you will practice the compassion for your partner and make some good deed, you will see no or small difference in 5 days, but you will see a great difference in 50 or 100 days, you will see how much you mean to them. People see this compound pounding effect in the nature.... the garden looks the samne after few days, buta ftera 100 days it looks different. Therefore you can not tell if your values are working after one week, because you see the effect after 100 or 140 days. Maybe each couple should practice this technique, If I will make something small to make my partner happy, for a little moment, they will remember these little moments. and good calm or happy mood increases the immunity of the body by 50 percent in 4 days. So their kids will learn the same technique. They will learn that if they will read a book 10 minutes a day, it has great impact on brain. Next time it may be 20 minutes a day. But if you stop doing the healthy habit now... after a week it makes no difference after 140 days the results change for worse, you loose muscles or you lose some skill or motivation etc. Good deed may be also making a pizza or small things. People actually enjoy small things much more than big gestures. because it´s about living in the moment...... Big gestures (expensive car) mean that you actually burned out too much energy to make a small effect, rather than small gestures that after time create a great effect of connection, and people like you for your authentic personality.

[@judegrindvoll8467]

@@ultimatedoug2227Corrected? Dogs and children need corrected, not adults.

[@ultimatedoug2227]

@@judegrindvoll8467 ok lol good luck in life

[@stung3848]

@@ultimatedoug2227what a weird comment

[@JaketheJust]

I’m afraid whatever it is that girls like, I don’t have it. I won’t find much happiness but I can still find meaning. Becoming more competent at my job, be there to provide for my family, get myself stronger at the gym, and be a better Christian.

[@themk4982]

If you keep being a good person, stay open to relationships and are willing to take the chance and make a move, there is a chance. It’s hard to believe but you need to be open to other people being interested in you, if you don’t think any girls could like you, you won’t notice when they do. Good luck and God bless.

[@michaellezama1398]

Bro u don't need all the girls. U just need one. And u don't want someone liking for someone u aint. Be yourself. Develop non romantic relationships with females. You can't handle a relationship if you can't handle a friendship. Trust

[@kaledon6]

I also feel that way, because modern girls are hypergamous, and there´s ALWAYS a potentially better man out there for any girl you´ll ever think about being intimate with

[@roberttyler1206]

Do you have love in your heart?

[@michaellezama1398]

@@kaledon6 Agreed. There will aways be someone more popular, more confident, more charasmatic, more articulate, more successful, more competent. But the mark of a relationship isnt all those things. Its time spent and willingness to love the person as they uniquely are. To see the world through their eyes and be a friend to them. To trully treat them as if they were made in the image and likeness of GOD. I think the same goes for any type of healthy relationship

[@AFringedGentian]

I feel like intimacy was absolutely the most physically, emotionally, mentally, and spiritually healing thing you could both have done in that dark time. Intimacy is instrumental in easing pain, both physical and emotional, and releasing hormones and neurotransmitters that aid healing and bonding. As much work as it was, it was absolutely worth it, and may have saved your lives as well as your marriage. I think we don’t talk enough about intimacy between older couples and I’m glad you two are beginning that conversation because it’s important. Older people are, according to the studies I have looked at, having more and more satisfying sexual intimacy than young people, and that is a wonderful beautiful thing. A good example for many other couples.

[@IlluminatedWings]

Agreed!✨

[@mazklassa9338]

I think people get turned on mostly by younger couples. Old people humping isn't so attractive.

[@RandomPerson-nd2ey]

Yeah, but... Are they having more than the younger generations because they are increasing their amount or because the younger generation are decreasing their frequency?

[@AFringedGentian]

@@RandomPerson-nd2ey I don’t think we know because of the paucity of research that has been done on the sexual activity and satisfaction of older couples. It’s for sure a field wide open for research work of someone wished to undertake it, and then we could begin to answer those questions you raise.

[@RandomPerson-nd2ey]

@@AFringedGentian hmm, just learned a new word. "Paucity". Thanks for that!

[@IlluminatedWings]

Physical, Emotional & Mental Intimacy between a couple is a conscious decision. Honest communication is the key❤& Dating one’s spouse is so important😊

[@AFringedGentian]

Yes, communicate like it’s your last hope, because it is!

[@EvalynChurchill]

Cool video, My relationship of 5 years ended a month ago. The love of my life decided to leave me, I really loved him so much I can’t stop thinking about him, I’ve tried my very best to get him back in my life, but to no avail, I’m frustrated, I don’t see my life with anyone else. I’ve done my best to get rid of the thoughts of him, but I can’t, I don’t know why I’m saying this here, I really miss him and just can’t stop thinking about him

[@PrettyTasha-k8q]

its difficult to let go of someone you love, i was in a similar situation, my relationship of 12 years ended, but i couldnt just let him go i did all i could to get him back, i had to seek the help of a spiritual counselor who helped me bring him back.

[@EvalynChurchill]

Amazing, how did you get a spiritual counselor, and how do i reach him?

[@PrettyTasha-k8q]

His name is Father Obah Eze, and he is a great spiritual counselor who can bring back your ex.

[@PrettyTasha-k8q]

he is father obah eze, he has great powers, he can help you.

[@EvalynChurchill]

Thank you for this valuable information, i just looked him up now online. impressive Wow I just looked Father Obah Eze on the net he’s very legit thanks once again ❤

[@hollydayrobert]

16 years and 4 kids, all close in age. As a Christian wife, the book “The Good Girl’s Guide to Great Sex” changed my (then dull) perspective within our 8th yr of marriage. A book we both read that changed us for the better is “Sacred Marriage” and then we did the devotional together. Both are Christian books. It’s also amazing to understand the intricate health benefits that God created along with our more basic thought of intimacy. There’s so much more to it than we even know now, I’m sure.

[@marteumar8429]

Eh the title of the book sound gross

[@sherbetstraw]

I am a Christian and sorry I found the title of that book a bit painful too! Not that my opinion matters… glad it worked for you!

[@arielfonseca7148]

Thanks for sharing what helped you! The other comments show people really do just judge a book by the cover 😂 super immature

[@destined4purgatory643]

​@@marteumar8429🙄

[@destined4purgatory643]

​@@marteumar8429🙄

[@Christopherurich33]

I get this sense of respect for Dr Jordan Peterson like relating his values too how my Great great grandfather would of raised his son's, a man of respect, and honor too the hierarchy of the world

[@AmandaJYoungs]

This is the most healing thing I could have heard in respect of the most important romantic and intimate relationship in my life, that I chose to leave 20 years ago. (Yes, it still needed some healing, even after all that time.) I feel like what I was trying to do has been validated, however badly I might have done it, and I'm really grateful for that. Maybe if there is a next time round it will be different and better. 🙂

[@Rahul-ml2xb]

20 yrs!, means the chances of romantic relationship happening is preeetty slim. & Even after 20yrs if u need validation for your decision, means deep inside you know you f*cked up, either leaving him Or choosing him in first place. Tbh.but Hope ur doing fine though.🎉

[@BellaGlam92]

Just simply, if you are in committed relationship you need to work on it, have lots of sex, and never compromise on it, and continue dating. Beautiful!!

[@SaystheTruth3]

😂

[@confusedwhynot]

I totally agree! I wish my husband had kept the promise he made to me when we were first married. He promised to date me regularly and he never did keep that promise. We are now separated after 30 years. I wanted us to spend more time together. Also there is so much more to dating/marriage than the act of sex. My husband's view of marriage was: Go to work for 10-12 hours, come home eat, have sex. That is not what I would call building a relationship. He also doesn't have a relationship with any of his children as their father. It is deeply troubling in my heart to know he could form a bond with our children. Even more so that he could build an intimate relationship with me. Compassion and a desire to face hard times is also important in a marriage. Life is not easy and our mortal bodies can and will struggle. Love for your spouse has to go much deeper than the physical act of sex.

[@fenriswolf-always-forward]

Men express their love through long and hard work for their family. That's in their mind. Many women don't know this, and it's a shame. Men don't speak enough either. Ask him if that's true.

[@sitcomchristian6886]

@@fenriswolf-always-forward The 5 love languages can be a helpful starting place. My husband's primary love language is words of affirmation, so I talk him up regularly, because that's the kind of love he most appreciates. Acts of service is one of the love languages - it's unlikely that it's the primary one for half the population though.

[@TheForexExpert]

So it's all his fault is it? Have you really listened to this talk? Have you talked to your husband and told him what you want? Have you asked him what he wants? Listen to this talk again and ask yourself what can you do rather than just blaming your husband,

[@sirrys]

@@TheForexExpertshe clearly stated that her husband didn’t care enough about her happiness. I don’t see how she’s to blame

[@kantraxoikol6914]

i really love how he talks to people, instead of lecturing them or telling them. he relates this all as if it happens to him, and of course, it does.

[@ArtByHazel]

What a wise and solid advice. Open communication is necessary and building intimacy is essential for a healthy relationship.

[@kandieb3]

In my 17th year of marriage and can’t remember the last date we went on. We have 2 kids and no family nearby to watch them. For our last anniversary my husband just made a Facebook post, no card, no happy anniversary in person. I’m still very hurt by this. Now that our kids are 12 and 14, old enough to be alone for a little while I mentioned dating again. One going out date a month and one free or low cost date per month and we take turns planning the dates so each person gets to have a chance being surprised. My husband agreed.

[@elizabethxoxo5]

Yay! Good luck ❤

[@bonniebrown5102]

My husband and I are in a similar situation..two small kids with no family to watch and we cannot afford to pay a babysitter often. He is also recovering from testicular cancer (both chemo and removal surgery for one) so that has caused some problems. I wish you best of luck with your dates!

[@wendyduncan9084]

So how is it going? Are you finding your way back to each other? I hope so. Romance is so very lovely.

[@wendyduncan9084]

@@bonniebrown5102I’m so sorry you are going through this so young. When my husband had his strokes the youngest person in the support group was 20 years older than me. None had kids at home. Few were even working. If you are part of a church there are often older couples who would love to babysit for you for free. I know I would adore babysitting. We never lived near family either and it does make it much harder. I hope this gets better for you.

[@megalopolis2015]

Oh, yay. I hope everything goes better than you planned.

[@markof.4361]

You're amazing, man, ALL AN EXAMPLE TO FOLLOW!. Sincerly, a young man who's learning A LOT since discovers you!!!!!

[@Lisamiller-ls6mg]

I’m always intrigued and enjoy his talks with his family

[@kristadavis2825]

I wish I could send this to my parents. I feel like they are on the verge of another divorce. They were divorced for 4 years when I was in high school. They haven’t been sexually intimate in about 15 years due to physical issues from both of them. Plus, they struggle with communicating and living together when Dad isn’t working. He is 71 and really needs to retire but she pushes him to work due to their marriage issues. He is the most loyal. Despite her remarrying the day of their divorce he never even looked at another woman and kept his wedding ring with him at all times.

[@maxonout]

Saddest thing I have ever heard due to the 2 totally separate paths on the same road.

[@sherbetstraw]

How about couples counselling? Sending them this video might be just as helpful though actually

[@Nairrrrrrr]

​@@sherbetstrawcounselling is wack .Figure it out yourself.

[@sherbetstraw]

@@Nairrrrrrr I think counselling has its time and place! I do think if you’re self aware then working it out yourself is better but sounds like these parents aren’t very self aware

[@silverseeker3368]

Thank you for sharing these words of wisdom and very practical useful advice. Thank you for walking the talk, and showing respect to each other, cherishing one another. A voice of hope, giving light in a dark world. Much appreciation for both of you !

[@ugwukenechukwu2062]

I just love the picture used for this videos thumbnail.. There's just something aboit the pose and the gestures from these two phenomenal individuals that's so deep and heart warming. I wish Dr. JBP would do a breakdown of what the symbolisms mean😇🙏🏽

[@user-uh2cr9so8l]

Well done Jordan. I'm glad you and Tammy made it back together

[@Noworries555justdreams]

Despite everything, bottom line, he loves her, always has, you always hear it in his voice and sees it in his eyes, he even crosses his legs pointing toward her. Lucky girl.

[@believe722]

I very much enjoy these talks with your family.

[@Aspiepilled]

I just want a hug

[@CatCassandra]

Crying my insides out now… I am living in a sexless relationship daily… but still believe it can be fixed. The hope of a woman is profoundly different than a man’s I guess. So grateful for this man and his insights! Thank you for addressing issues like this Jordan

[@ruantristancarlinsky3851]

That is super sad. Praying for you Cassandra. May God renew your intimacy in Jesus Name.

[@Blitz1276]

Living through the same as a man. Have had the conversation about it many times to no avail. Hope still remains on my end - hopefully the same holds true for you and things work out!

[@ruantristancarlinsky3851]

@@Blitz1276 I pray God helps your marriage. This is so sad to see couples deprive one another of the most important act keeping marriage together.

[@wyleecoyotee4252]

It can be fixed with a divorce. Why put yourself through this?

[@akferren1]

Same.. roommates for 10 years.. no sex or even a date in 10 years.. I cannot wait to be divorced

[@DALE959595]

Good talk, but I can't quite believe you squeezed it all into under 12 minutes. A lifetime of good multipurpose advice in under 12 minutes, my hat comes off to you and yours, Jordan.

[@mchristr]

Human beings develop an affinity for anything in which we invest. If there's distance, begin to invest in each other. Think good things about the other. Practice compliments and kindness. Do little things that make the other person's life just a little easier. If you persist the emotions will follow.

[@amyrose33]

Not just rekindling a relationship but men will provide for and protect the woman they are procreating with ~ Alison Armstrong

[@maxonout]

What if you are in a relationship with a man when you are over 60? You cannot be suggesting all bets are off, are you?

[@SaystheTruth3]

😂

[@NatureIsAbsolutelyCalling2023]

I really enjoy listening to this content! It delves into a topic of paramount importance, extending far beyond intimacy. I believe it revolves around the art of effective communication and the fulfilment of our physical, psychological, and emotional needs as thriving individuals. Personally, I've noticed that my emotional well-being is intricately linked to meeting these needs on a daily basis. When any of my needs aren't adequately addressed, I experience subsequent emotional episodes. My emotions become a guiding compass, nudging me to halt activities that are detrimental to my overall well-being, encouraging me to listen and take positive action.

[@SilverBackELTorro]

Wow. Outstanding point of view and explanation. He’s the best. ❤❤❤

[@jennymcgowin9140]

That’s the most brilliant explanation for having a great sex life I’ve ever heard. Communication. Action.

[@mryman3656]

This was from his show in Brussels Belgium! Loved every second of it.

[@sphatnani5213]

Jordan, being intimate does not mean having sex. It could be hugs, holding hands, random touch when you are togather in outside environment. Sex if less than once a week is deteriorating, that analysis could be based on cultures that you are dealing with. If you were to expand your horizon and look into other cultures & other countries, couples are happily married long terms inspite of sex less than once a week or even once a month. Being married is more about how well you both of manage/deal things in life as togather rather than worrying about how many times you are doing it in a week. My parents are soul mates and they are so well bonded that they dont need to express that via sex. Real love kicks in when you are down and your partner partner steps up to care and hold you strong. Thats way more powerful than worrying about how many times should we do in a week.

[@bapr3887]

Sex is needed for man ~3-4 times a week. Period When men dont need that much, he is ill for something.

[@kathyb1011]

I don't think anybody's children know anything about their parent's sex life.

[@sphatnani5213]

@@kathyb1011 your's just a view of point. You have not lived with them. Intimacy overrides sex, as love gets deeper.

[@kathyb1011]

@@sphatnani5213 ive been married for 50 years. We have 4 adult kids and grandchildren. Whats your record? You are lecturing to Jordan Peterson telling him intimacy doesnt = sex. Yes it does. Hugs and holding hands and public displays of affection does not = intimacy. How many abusive ppl do that? Come back to me when you've been married 50 years and still maintain a healthy sexual relationship with your spouse. It doesn't however live in a vacuum. There is play, fun, sarcasm and all other forms of interaction that = intimacy. You seem to have no idea

[@sphatnani5213]

@@kathyb1011 culturally still different, it's not the same worldwide. Appreciate and congrats for being 50 years of marriage, 4 kids and grand daughters, still does not count as you have not lived in my place and also doesn't represent other households elsewhere. Please widen the horizon/perspectives.

[@chrismcbee4653]

I can tell immediately if I would be attracted to someone even before speaking and it's not based on just physical attraction.

[@1castellp]

Never stop starting. When you start, don't stop. Even if you don't start, never stop.

[@henbayumlembam7988]

Man, speechless. I'm so grateful that I got to hear you❤

[@jacobbos2208]

Logical concise and in touch with the truth of our emotions. Great lecture

[@Lisamiller-ls6mg]

Yes that’s right. It was a great and wonderful lecture

[@conniedean3787]

Your marriage should be a sacred soul connection, have the same values, have compassion for the poor, sick, disabled, homeless, migrants., Help other people., and have peace and harmony.

[@hannahhaws6853]

I was driving home tonight from a thing and this beautiful talk was on the radio!! Really loved this quote: "There are lots of limitations in all of us that we hope our sweethearts will overlook. I suppose no one is as handsome or as beautiful as he or she wishes, or as brilliant in school or as witty in speech or as wealthy as we would like, but in a world of varied talents and fortunes that we can’t always command, I think that makes even more attractive the qualities we can command-such qualities as thoughtfulness, patience, a kind word, and true delight in the accomplishment of another. These cost us nothing, and they can mean everything to the one who receives them." - How Do I Love Thee? JEFFREY R. HOLLAND Of the Quorum of the Twelve Apostles February 15, 2000 • Devotional

[@hotchihuahua1546]

Without putting yourself in the same shoes as your spouse , to the responsibilities they have , you can’t appreciate them and the roll they play in your life ! It is a learning experience for both of you as you mature . To even begin to start off in a relationship with someone , prior to marriage , you have to also love their family and they they need to feel the same toward you . I get a laugh every time I hear the ferry tale ending ….. and …..they lived happily ever after ! You get out of it what you put into it and hope your partner fells the same . You have a better chance making it if you do !

[@jMerkyJJ]

Take away his license? ARE YOU FUCKING CRAZY This man gets it and has uncovered the hard truths. Come to America Jordan. We love you and we have the 1st Ammendment.

[@HamiltonRowan-r6z]

No sometimes one needs to recognize that you are the problem, and dating or romance just aren't for you! I reached the point where I just want to live by myself. I am single and celibate and staying that way from now on.

[@redtobertshateshandles]

Relationships are just so tough I think I'll let Jordan explain it. My wife admitted that she didn't like me for the first decade/s of marriage. I haven't mentioned that I didn't like her. We're going OK. I think I'll leave it at that.

[@maxonout]

Does she like you now? Do you like her now?

[@jsharkee]

Is your wife Michelle Obama? She said that too about Barack.

[@redtobertshateshandles]

@maxonout she likes me now. I like parts of her. I should look into this shadow of mine.

[@redtobertshateshandles]

@jsharkee she's certainly a strong person. Which is great when they're supporting you but bad when they're not. My mother in law is a tough woman who married a younger man. She was the oldest child in a big family. She's the boss. Michelle Obama is obviously tough, Black people receive a lot of harassment and bullying. What doesn't kill you makes you stronger.

[@RilkeForum]

Mr Peterson I wanted to know what you think: to me love means supporting each other to grow into the most authentic selves. This can be hard. It can mean reevaluating values over time. To me holding on to the other, even if they begin to need something else, by all means, is not love. It is selfishness. I think it is love to let someone go if their values and goals for authentic growth do not match mine any more.

[@con_doorman]

My wife is going through the menopause, and sex has reduced to about once every 3-4 months. My mindset is changing to not wanting sex at all, and I'm feeling more spiritual and grounded as a result. Maybe it's better to release yourself from wanting sex than to want it and hardly ever have it.

[@alexarihani2902]

Maybe ask her to try HRT. It really helps with libido

[@sitcomchristian6886]

@@alexarihani2902 Her hormones are changing for biologically normal reasons. Please don't mess with them. Think of all the stuff coming out about birth control lately...

[@sitcomchristian6886]

You sound like my husband, in a way. Only we're on our third baby, and our oldest isn't 5 yet. My sex drive is pretty low right now, which I'm told is normal. He hasn't initiated sex with me for at least a year. I actually can't remember the last time he did. I'm the only one who does, even if it's a few and far between quickie. It honestly breaks my heart, and bringing it up with him hasn't changed anything. I'm a normal BMI and he says he's attracted to me. It makes me feel like I've lost some value I had to him. Have you tried initiating the act with her?

[@con_doorman]

@sitcomchristian6886 Actually, since I wrote this almost 2 months ago, we went on holiday, had sex a couple of times, and now have sex every couple of weeks, though I initiate as usual. I figured that having sex brings us closer together and our home life is more relaxed.

[@jrosner6123]

​@sitcomchristian6886 your husband, in his mind, may subconsciously be afraid of being rejected, feel he's respecting you by not bothering you about it, or a combination of both. Hash it out with him. I was that guy, and did not realize how it came off.

[@SweetieTarian]

The thumbnail photo is just darling. Cheers Peterson family.

[@christa_thompson]

DREAMING and COMMUNICATION - AMEN!

[@austinlittle1638]

Neither I nor my wife believe the other one goes to the bathroom and I think this is what has kept us going strong for so many years.

[@maxonout]

Sad. Hope neither of you ever get sick. This is the saddest thing I have ever read, seeing what my father did for his lovely, beautiful wife who had dementia. I suggest a far higher view of your wife. Please.

[@austinlittle1638]

@maxonout I'm kidding. Also I'm not married.

[@nnylasoR]

It is torture that most examples of desired frequency are opposite to me. I’m the wife that longs for more intimacy, and way more often.

[@govindvijayakrishnan9891]

Appreciate how the interviewer does not intervene during Mr Peterson's long monologue

[@elyz98]

She's his wife

[@govindvijayakrishnan9891]

wow I didn't know that !@@elyz98

[@JakeNolen]

Fellas if you’re anything like me (God help you) you’re going to fail at being charming and sensitive from time to time. Life is messy and marriage is rarely a fairy tale. But almost 12 years in she still hasn’t given up on me and the more time passes I become undyingly grateful to her for her loyalty and companionship. Focus on what *is* instead of what *isn’t* - it’ll work wonders and the rest will spark from there. Serve each other. Putting God first doesn’t hurt either…

[@markamd1]

God bless you and your family Dr. Peterson.

[@mammi3577]

I love their relationship so much, I wish they stay like that forever ❤❤❤❤

[@sophiaalvarez6137]

Me and husband recently discussed this as i noticed he wasnt initiating sex as much. I saw a video about a girl whos husband had a secret pron addiction, so i asked him how often he uses it. Not addiciton level but more frequently than id imagined, was the answer. We compromised that we would be intimate 3 times a week and both happier from my perspective

[@destined4purgatory643]

I haven't had sex weekly with my husband since our daughter was born 5 years ago. Few times a month max. 3 month old baby now so maybe once a month. I think he watches porn more than I'd like him to but mama's tired so I'll care more when the baby's older lol

[@flash12319]

@@destined4purgatory643I’d dread being in your husband’s situation. I understand the baby is young. But as a man I bet he is struggling I truly don’t understand why women don’t understand how much sex is a critical need in a man’s life Have you asked him how he truly feels in the relationship and in his sex life? Is he satisfied?

[@destined4purgatory643]

@@flash12319 2 or 3 times a month is fine with him. I keep it fresh and make it seem spontaneous (it's not I plan that shit all day lol). I know it's important. I may not always be in the mood but the benefits are great. He's happier, more helpful, and pays attention to me and the kids more. The older the kids get the more I can actually enjoy it too (no worry of them waking up ect.)

[@BQ900]

@@flash12319my husband has a habit of getting home from work and expecting dinner and sex. I talked to him about dropping one of the days. He got upset. I guess it is very important.

[@SaystheTruth3]

​@@flash12319agree!!

[@Corato4535]

A US priest who counsels married couples said that 2 things that cause issues in a marriage is not praying together and lack of intimacy.

[@Lisamiller-ls6mg]

Just stay true to yourself and be open minded

[@JosephR24]

Jordan Peterson priceless! Thank you sir !

[@castirondude]

Going on date nights is tough when you have small children, especially when you're home schooling and don't have family or close friends where the kids can stay.

[@stevejones224]

But arranging a date night at home when the kids are asleep is much easier 👍 it’s not the venue it’s the act

[@radhiadeedou8286]

We're in the same situation (except the homeschooling part) this is why putting the kids to bed early and in their own beds is non-negotiable

[@robslifting4life]

It's hard, but we're badass. Our family is in FL. No one is close to us, no one. Not a whole lot of friends either. We're doing just fine.

[@castirondude]

@@robslifting4life Yes that's us too. We have a big family so our kids are their own playmates and we're doing fine. @stevejones224 We also do the date-at-home thing, agree you can make a dinner&movie night at home just as much fun as in a theater/restaurant.

[@jennylhenry78]

Same. However we have done weekly at home dates now for the last 3+ years. Pick a night a week, give the children macncheese early for dinner (yes mine eat this every single week) and put them in their beds with books (if you have to give them a tiny bit of melatonin that night then so be it). Then one of you either makes dinner or picks up takeout just for you two. Eat by candlelight. Don't wear your pajamas. I bought a nice wood tray and wood bowl that is only for date night snacks; a nice cheese, roasted pecans, and some olives. And wine. Or make popcorn with a movie cuddled up in the couch together. It will take some training to make sure children stay in their rooms but it will be worth it. Trust me. And we enjoy great, regularly scheduled s*x 3x a week.; Sundays, Tuesday or Wednesday and Fridays. 👍🏻👍🏻👍🏻

[@saidaabukar4937]

Your the best Dr.Peterson. ❤❤❤

[@ironlionwelding686]

This is a very profound idea, and I thank you for it.

[@jadonlawrence4909]

With all due respect to JP, there is a mathematical error in his statement (7:15) with regards to making love to a partner. 3 times a week for the next 30 years is 4,680 not 30,000 times(which is way of)😅

[@weetabixharry]

You're right. I calculated 4696, but if you approximate a year as 52 weeks (364 days), then it's 4680. Certainly not 30,000.

[@conniedean3787]

LOVE THE SOUL NOT THE BODY. the inside of the person not the outside.

[@sarahtaylor2121]

Yikes, these comments make me feel super grateful for my spouse and our marriage! Anyone should plan to have this conversation once the first kid comes along, IMO.

[@BKing007]

Lack of any kind of intimacy for long periods of times is a big no no for a relationship, okay noted sir

[@westxranchin]

Thank you for this dr Peterson

[@Flylikea]

Sometimes it happens, and you need to invest conscious effort. However, if you are constantly running after rekindling romance, you are in the wrong relationship. If we add "similarity" (aka how much you have in common, how easily you communicate, how useful the other person is) in one axis and "value" (how different you two are and this difference is perceived as an advantage) in the other, a common issue I have noticed across multiple couples is scoring very high on the "similarity" axis and very low on the "value" they struggle way too much. In fact, I think they have plainly bad relationships. There's a goldilocks zone for each one of us and staying away from miserable people.

[@fauziajasia2548]

great point of view

[@seekinggodseekingtruth]

Good 👍. Thank you Dr. Peterson

[@jt9031]

my ex left almost 6 weeks ago and I miss him so much!

[@user-iu7xt7uy8o]

I wish this was possible to do. He doesn't talk for few months when he is mad at something and there is no intimacy during those months. He doesn't see that as a problem and I am feeling devastated but nothing works. I am learning to do yoga and to just love myself and fill my life with other things. I really need help but can't do anything. Maybe he is a narcissistic person. I don't know.

[@srishtishubha1469]

Very insightful 😊

[@jeffreyelya9996]

This is such a rediculous subject to talk about, yet it's a need. Marriage is about intimacy, so therefore if you're not getting up close and personal, you have every reason to ask, why bother? The real problem is, if you don't give it to your partner, the both of you are at risk with the relationship.

[@celebratecreatingwithkathr9353]

Love this info!

[@tasossavva8471]

Bravo.. Thank you!! Again and Again.

[@Pikkenostertjie]

I have never been tempted. Trapped in a loveless, sexless marriage. And I have never been in a situation where cheating was possible. How is this possible?

[@wyleecoyotee4252]

Why don't you just divorce? Why are you trapped in it?

[@j-life8502]

So true ! So good. 100 percent

[@terrathunderstorms3701]

Practice makes perfect 😁

[@mamalovesthebeach437]

Spontaneity is fun after scheduled intimacy.

[@lauraorizaga6402]

I’m afraid that speaking to my partner about it, because whenever I tried to, which is really hard for me to do, his response makes me feel bad, he gets into a position that is hard for me to deal with.

[@rebeccacampbell585]

I havent been on a date that i havent planned in years. Yes I'm married. He isnt much of a participant.

[@davidthomspson9771]

Wow...this is fabulous thank you

[@ContentRemoved___]

Had another vivid dream that incidentally included You Dr Peterson. Perhaps Freud could explain. We were awaiting a museum tour and I was on cell phone with a lady. She asked what “a” is so told her it’s an article. You started talking about Dotyesky and she didn’t understand. That dream ended in a small prison fight… Vivid dreams of late. I see a manufactured end of days coming yet I still wish for my better half. How silly.

[@missmolly5129]

Jesus! Delusional! I wish I thought about that word earlier in relationship to people's life expectations. As for me... Here's one thing I'm going to take with me, one that pervades the tests. "If I could have what I wanted, what would it look like? (Hardest question to ask yourself about anything, especially when your neuroticism is through the roof and your industriousness is through the floor). Then you can stumble forward stupidly and approximate getting it." Mornings with dr. Peterson. :)

[@Michael-cp4bg]

The people laughing aren't living it - that's for sure.

[@mzubuki]

Matthew 13:18-23 18 Hear ye therefore the parable of the sower. 19 When any one heareth the word of the kingdom, and understandeth it not, then cometh the wicked one, and catcheth away that which was sown in his heart. This is he which received seed by the way side. 20 But he that received the seed into stony places, the same is he that heareth the word, and anon with joy receiveth it; 21 Yet hath he not root in himself, but dureth for a while: for when tribulation or persecution ariseth because of the word, by and by he is offended. 22 He also that received seed among the thorns is he that heareth the word; and the care of this world, and the deceitfulness of riches, choke the word, and he becometh unfruitful. 23 But he that received seed into the good ground is he that heareth the word, and understandeth it; which also beareth fruit, and bringeth forth, some an hundredfold, some sixty, some thirty.

[@whenraindropsfall]

why is my single ass here 😂

[@wildolive53]

I just love this thumbnail💕💕💕

[@baigandinel7956]

Yes, but perhaps not in the grotesque modern "dating is a job interview" way.

[@sirdudeness1386]

My friend and I use to joke around and would say, the man who gets laid stays. I don’t but that may be true for women also.

[@alittleofsomething]

So, in other words, communication is key to a good relationship. I might not have a boyfriend now, but I think that it can be applied to any relationship. I mean, my relationship with my mom is tons better noe that we can express each other and talk things through. And the same reason my relationshio with my dad is deteriorating with each year, and I want to see him less and less. I mean, he hurt me badly the other day, and he probably doesn't even remember it anymore.

[@solaveritas2]

Talking to your father about what happened will be great practice for life with a future husband. You don't want to let things fester for years or decades. I'm older, trust me, these things do affect relationships way down the road. There's a simple formula for these situations: Ask at a good time for a moment to talk. Say: "When ...happened, it made me feel....I need you to.... . " Do not blame, do not argue, do not hold a whole sermon, just factually explain in few words those three points as they apply. Leave it at that. Their reaction doesn't matter, it's not in your control. Keep your cool. Example: "Dad, when you told me the other day that I will never live up to your expectations, I felt hurt because I never wanted to disappoint you. I need you to believe in me and support my plans, even when they're not what you had imagined for me. This is important to me, because I love you."

[@alittleofsomething]

@@solaveritas2 He's mentally unstable and I think him calling me a thief after he caused the problem (I'm solving on my own without his help) was in one of his manic episodes. Not to mention he probably caused a lot of other problems for me, because of legal crap he got me involved in. There's a high likelyhood that he ruined my credit score, if that's a thing in my country. I had to go to court because he couldn't pay bills after grandad died. Because he legally binded this apartment crap on me. I think I will let it go eventually, but I'll make sure to never get involved with him legally ever again. It's a nightmare that probably patially ruined me legally down the road. A real father would never put his daughter in that situation.

[@alittleofsomething]

@@solaveritas2 basically, it's definitepy not a standard miscommunication type of problem, but dealing with a mentally unstable man type of problem.

[@sherbetstraw]

That sounds very very tricky and I’m sorry you’re going through that. Some dads are just not cut out to be dads 😢

[@alittleofsomething]

@@sherbetstraw dude, he has 2 kids. And for the second one, as I heard, my dad was never written down into the baby's birth certificate. I can't even claim I have a half brother, legally 😑

[@eugeneswanson7508]

Used to participate in dating in my 20s no success . 14 years later I'm still lonely, bitter and resentful. Good advice though.

[@vanessachristidis9252]

After 20 years of marriage and being together 23+ years hubby would agree with the 4 times a day seems reasonable 🤦‍♀ We have a great sex life, incredible relationship, and most of all he is one of my best friends 🧡

[@edenevermore]

Dealing with this behavior of his and mine is so difficult. In fact, yesterday we tried to have sex, he went soft I went numb, I dismounted and cried. Then I told him I do t want to have sex anymore

[@NikiBechusWTF]

He can still satisfy you without an erection and you can still have the bonding intimacy.

[@julianrudert7779]

If that happened, dont you think he also might be hurt from the way you acted? I mean if i had troubles getting it up and then my fear happened and my girlfriend would dismount and cry and then would say, that she wouldnt want to be intimate with me anymore, that would destroy me. Wtf

[@SaystheTruth3]

​@@julianrudert7779Yeah that sounds pretty heartless to me.... If you care for someone you don't act like that. She sounds like a child to me...

[@Amywazwaz06]

There is medication for that. You do not need to take that as a personal issue. Health issues cause that not mental or heart issues.

[@sitcomchristian6886]

Everyone has a bad round every now and then. It sounds like you all might not be in the best of health (not to be presumptuous, but since you mentioned the details of flacid-ness and lack of sensation). Try cuddling naked, with no expectations for sex. Really, NO expectations. It will help you to bond and hopefully relax. I would reach out to a naturopath if you want to get to the root causes of what's limiting your mutual sex drive, or the mechanics of it. Modern medicine can band-aid the problems, but they can be problematic in the long term. I'm sorry you all are going through this, but it can be alright if you keep working through it :)

[@hasannaomir.3037]

Yayyyy!!!! Wonderful

[@CorinthianIvory]

In my personal experience, even if you are very attractive to women, even if you don't do them wrong; if they decide it's "screw you", it's done. Do your best, but it's really not up to you if the intimacy or even the love lasts.

[@lukasbryant9881]

It's not up to you. It's up to the both of you. As he talked about, communicating and dreaming together, and practicing giving to the other what they want.

[@MZRTMusic254]

​@@lukasbryant9881all that doesn't matter if she's not up to it is what I think he's trying to say from his personal experience

[@apebass2215]

Imagine being so detached and disempowered you think the success of your personal relationships is "really not up to you".

[@singingstars5006]

Don't date women who are without character traits like honesty and integrity and devotion. If they don't have character, you're better off single. Find a devotedly religious lady that's actually serious about that religion, if you can. Otherwise look for quiet sensitive types who don't have sxual experience. Quiet, sensitive types tend to bond better. And any woman who has been with fewer than six men is still capable of pair bonding. A woman who has been around isn't often capable of truly pair bonding unless she has found God or something transcendent and her life becomes motivated by more than self.

[@denisejones1863]

With age comes sexual physical differences. I have very painful intercourse and have tried everything to help it. It has made our relationship very hard. My husband also has problems with maintaining a erection. Men feel like failures as do women when they can't perform. My goal now is to keep intimacy in other ways, which is very hard.

[@patrickfrazier7104]

Neueve supplement changed my life in this area. No pain at all, was in the same boat

[@patrickfrazier7104]

This is his wife that the above comment is coming from😊

[@patrickfrazier7104]

Also, try tribulus and ashwaganda natural supplements for men. A game changer

[@mannysamson4091]

I'm 19 and I watched this video. Then I finished and wondered why I even watched this.

[@NonHumanity-mt5nk]

Only interested in myself

[@4DIVID7]

I was in a relationship for 4 years and I wasn’t even allowed to talk about sex without her showing disdain and disgust as if I was just a pig for wanting sex. It had to happen spontaneous now I just realize she was a narcissist and needed to be in control of the most powerful aspects of our relationship.

[@miaqueen9578]

Maybe you were just a shitty person? I know if my husvand treats me like shit, i HATE the though of having sex with him. To women the emotional side playes a huge part. And i dont mean just be nice when you want sex, treat her and the kids with love and she will gladly have sex with you

[@aoyenngoc502]

I'm so sorry to hear that :( It's heartbreaking to be seen that way by our partner. I hope you have found a way?

[@keithjohnsonYT]

Yeah… “Line ‘em up” - James Taylor