Relationship OCD? 10 Tips for ROCD

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ROCD like all OCD lives in the imagination and the doubt and uncertainty tries to convince you that your doubts are true.
There are some common core fears in people with ROCD. These fears include:
• Making a wrong choice in partners
• Settling in a relationship
• Feeling unhappy, unattracted, or numb in the relationship
• Making a choice that will result in hurt, disappointment, disgrace, embarrassment or ruin.
• Missing out on a better relationship.
The doubts and the fears are there. But IT IS believing the doubts and fears as if they were facts. And reacting to the anxiety with compulsions and avoidance behaviors that feed and propel the ROCD cycle.
It is important to recognize compulsions so that you can resist them.
Common ROCD compulsions can include things like:
• Ruminating about the “rightness” or “wrongness” of your relationship.
• Comparing your partner to others or to past relationships
• Analyzing traits, especially negative traits about your partner
• Avoiding commitment
• Avoiding steps like being exclusive, moving in together, getting engaged or married
• Possibly frequent break-ups and then getting back together
• Obsessive confessing about your lack of feelings or attraction
• Compulsive Checking on your level of attraction or happiness
• Reassurance seeking from family and friends, therapists or relationship sites
Here are 10 tips to help you with ROCD:
1. Recognize that your doubt is ocd. Doubt may show up as what-if questions or even emotional numbing like it did for Rob.
2. The relentless confusion and the urgency to take action is also OCD. You don’t have to figure it out now. Allow the discomfort and the anxiety to just be there unattended and let time pass.
3. Use the I. A.M. method to help you with any compulsive urges or compulsions:
a. The (I) stands for Identify. Identify the intrusive thought, the doubt or the urge. “There you are OCD.” You can even name it or label it. This helps to separate you from your ocd.
b. The (A) stands for Allow. Just allow whatever is there to be there. You are not pushing it away or frustrated and you are not engaging in any compulsions to reduce your discomfort.
c. And the (M) stands for shifting your focus or attention in the moment to something else. It helps if you have something that you can do. This is what people do that have recovered from OCD.
4. You could plan more intentional ERP (exposure and response prevention) to trigger your core fears.
5. You could write, record and listen to scripts about your imagined, worst-case relationship scenarios.
6. You could set a timer on your phone for every 60 to 90 minutes during your waking hours. And when the timer goes off you read and linger on your obsessive thoughts on purpose without doing any compulsions to relieve your anxiety.
7. You could put stickers on your devices and throughout your home to remind to you to think of your uncomfortable thoughts on purpose in order to be less reactive to those thoughts.
8. With all of these techniques, it is important to vary them and always practice response prevention and resist your compulsions before, during and after your exposures.
9. And most importantly, practice self-compassion as ROCD causes so much personal anguish and recovery is a process.
10. There is also therapy called inference- based CBT that focuses on resolving the initial doubt and confusion.
#rocd, #ocdwithpaige, #ocd ,#paigepradko
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Until next time...I will see you in session,
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(Although Paige Pradko is a licensed psychotherapist, the views expressed on this video and this KZbin channel including comments or any related content should not be taken for medical, psychological or psychiatric advice. Always contact your physician and mental health provider before making any decisions related to your physical or mental health.)

[@codystokes9289]

Does anyone else ever have anxious thoughts about whether ROCD is just something that people made up to make themselves feel better about settling in their relationship? - to me, this relates to “what if this isn’t the right person for me? What if there’s someone that’s supposed to be better for me?” It makes sense, especially in the context of attachment… this reminds me of disorganized attachment. Im in the healthiest relationship I’ve ever been in with the most understanding and loving man… I love him a lot and it not perfect, but he’s open to communication and hearing me and my fears, etc. and I fear i wont be able to give him the love he deserves like he so effortlessly gives me, amongst so many other fears. Part of my anxiety is questioning if I’m just pushing down by “gut feeling,” which is really confusing cause my intuition feels so clouded all of the time, even outside of the context of relationships. I’m really starting to doubt the whole “when you know, you know” thing because for someone like me???? Who was never taught how to trust herself in life, and basically just taught to NOT trust herself????? It’s a much larger thing than just trusting any intuition… I often feel like my intuition tells me to BOTH stay AND to go… I’m scared to tell him about ROCD and I also don’t want to accidentally play with his heart by being so chaotic and back and fourth. 😩😩😩

[@marshall11011]

I feel exactly the same, it’s like I cannot trust myself. I question if I am just pushing away my “gut feelings” too and if all this ROCD stuff is just me trying to find reasons to not leave, even though I don’t want to leave. I keep questioning whether I actually like them or if I like them enough or if I’m supposed to want certain things or feel certain things and if I don’t then I must not like them. I felt like this in my last relationship and this one is only just beginning. It feels like I am always going to hurt people by leading them on even though I don’t actually like them, despite me knowing this can’t be true. I question my initial attraction to them as if it could be explained by something other than actually liking them; I tell myself I could just like the new feelings/ novelty or that I’m only into them for sex. It has helped me somewhat to remind myself that I am drawn to this person for a reason and I really like their personality and everything about them so why do I overthink it. I need to let go of the social pressures and expectations and learn to trust that I know how I feel and that my actions don’t define how I feel nor do my emotions define how I feel overall towards someone - just like how I can be annoyed by my family but still love them. I hope it helps to know that I feel these things that you talk about too, I wish you positivity with finding your way through these struggles.

[@bluevioletalien]

Same boat. What makes it worse is I was feeling more ok about things and my therapist last week actually suggested that I’m settling and I haven’t been able to get over that. I mean, maybe I am, how do I know? Like you, I have very little self trust. And it’s hard because it’s an LDR and the future is unclear because of my own life circumstances and we’ve yet to meet in person which would answer some questions. When I first saw her in video calls I also wasn’t especially attracted to her as I am to people I see around locally but don’t know how much to chalk that up to the camera and how much weight to put on that when I’m very attracted to her on a more emotional and intellectual level. I feel like I’m in a pinball machine for emotions and it’s taking a toll, but simultaneously I’m very afraid of the pain of ending things. Enjoyed things earlier on in the relationship but lately it’s been mainly anxiety. When I came across the term disorganized attachment, that seemed to describe a lot of things. Now coming across the term ROCD again I relate a lot except I don’t know how to distinguish real concern that comes from my gut that I should trust vs things my mind is inventing out of unhealthy anxiety.

[@ThatsassyGirlboss]

People who are in a happy,healthy relationship but you have OCD and get intrusive thoughts about somebody else and those are uncontrollable and they trick you into thinking that you're unloyal or are betraying and then get anxiety and think they're butterflies that you're feeling for other person. Lemme give you a quick reassurance that butterflies make you feel giddy while anxiety makes you stressed and sad and yk what I mean? Just let go and know that those INTRUSIVE THOUGHTS DON'T DEFINE YOU!!!!!!!!!! Listen to this one subliminal about controlling your mind,pray and believe that you'll get there! Love to you, bro/sis. Akky❤️

[@PaigePradkoTherapy]

Inspiring and encouraging message. ❤️

[@shreenithimohan175]

Thank you thank you thank you sister. You read my mind 🥺

[@ThatsassyGirlboss]

@@shreenithimohan175 girl you're gonna get through it just believe in govind. Madhav fixes everything!!💗

[@HanshikaSharma-]

Im also suffering from ROCD can you please please help me its hell I don't know what to do.... Please

[@JungleEd17]

That's a good explanation. Half a lifetime ago I dated a girl who gave me great anxiety, but also an sense of calm. The constant back and forth really did feel like butterflies and the OCD kept all those bad memories running on repeat. Wanting a sorry from someone and wanting love from someone feels very similar.

[@Brunofromaraguari]

I love my boyfriend a lot. But I started having thoughts that I didn't really love him, that I was going to cheat on him, even though I would never cheat on someone etc. I have a friend who in the past I even thought I had some minimal interest in, he was dating but now he broke up. And my mind thinks "how do you know you are with the right person?" but I'm not even interested in that friend anymore, even so my mind says "how do you know you're not in love with this friend and not your boyfriend?" And then I blame myself for thinking that. I honestly love my boyfriend very much and these thoughts make me feel very bad.

[@PaigePradkoTherapy]

I’m sorry that you are dealing with those doubts and fears. In my opinion, there is always some ambiguity and doubt in every relationship. There is no absolute answer and this is why OCD attacks us in this area of relationships. How does anyone ever know the answer to those questions. We all do our best and if we are compatible and happy, then it is likely a good fit.

[@Brunofromaraguari]

@@PaigePradkoTherapy thank you. I'm trying to understand that insecurities and uncertainty are part of healthy relationships. Your video was very helpful.

[@ED-cy8ss]

My main trigger in this theme is ‘I don’t have butterflies 24/7 like I used to, I must not be in love anymore’ I struggle between acting indifferent to the thought, and possibly changing my outlook on a realistic standpoint on love. This video was very helpful.

[@PaigePradkoTherapy]

I’m so glad it was helpful.

[@chayparker8604]

This was such a good video. My ROCD makes me obsess over whether I love them or not, this helped me not focus so much on that.

[@PaigePradkoTherapy]

I’m so glad it was helpful and that you are deciding to not focus on those intrusive thoughts.

[@aya123444]

SAME

[@AidenCassaroArt]

My soon to be wife just dumped me in the most excessively brutal way with way too much hate because of my OCD issues, I started medication for it recently but the damage was done, and she literally called me a monster in every way possible. I'm devastated because I wish, I didn't have OCD and was normal, I wish that I could stop my OCD. My compulsions were the worst because they made her feel unwanted and hated. I hate myself, but at the same time, I've suffered from ROCD in my other past relationships as well. I would suggest people with OCD to get treated, this is not the way to live life. Thank you for this video, it makes me feel like I am less of a monster.

[@gebii-]

You are not a monster. That is a horrible thing for her to say. She of been hurt by your thoughts and doubts but there are ways to get help together.

[@EmsLionheart]

I'm so very sorry. I know how much this hurts. But I know there is someone out there who gets YOU and will have patience w you because they love u all of u. Not just the good parts. Be glad she left. She likely did u both a favor. It will be difficult but you will find better. Don't let this define u.

[@trialgoddess]

Maybe apologize to her and do some joint therapy sessions so she can see you are trying to get better for yourself and because you love her. The most painful thoughts you can verbalize are that you don't trust her and think she is cheating...that cuts to the core.

[@chapiduh1044]

I have ROCD since 8 Years. This must be scary for others to read. But in all of these years I really had fantastic moments. I went to different kind of therapists. I have learned many tools from them. Now I am seeing a therapist who looks deeper inside of my childhood. I now know why I am like that. But ROCD got always its grip back on me. I had month and weeks where I was just happy and thought that ocd would never come back and that I am finally free. But then it latched again and I woke up with anxiety in my stomache. I developed a Trauma response to OCD where I fall into a derealization- kind of state when ROCD gets back on me. This video helped me to get back on my feet and to start again for the 100th time. Thank you.

[@PaigePradkoTherapy]

It sounds like you have great insight. We often begin again in life. I am glad the video could help you to do that. ❤️

[@InfamousAMH]

I struggle with multiple mental disorders. ADHD, ASD, and OCD. I have problems with just about everything in my life, and recently I noticed that I was having thoughts and feelings about my partner that were contingent with ROCD, and those suspicions have been confirmed, and remedied. Thank you for this video.

[@PaigePradkoTherapy]

I am glad the video helped you and I hope that knowing that will help you to feel more content in your relationship as well.

[@VIGUISEX3]

I have heard that people without ocd also experience days of doubt. It seems to be pretty much in our nature. As always, amazing content with the most helpful information that I've stumbled upon to date.

[@PaigePradkoTherapy]

Great point. Thank you so much. ❤️

[@Piecesoftheshadow]

Very true, I suppose the issues is with OCD, it turns into an obsessive thought pattern vs occasional normal thought from time to time.

[@philipblom6964]

Thank you❤. I have been struggling with ocd for about 10-15 years now. For the last 3 years I've been in an beautiful relationship, but I now just realised I might also have r-ocd. Thank you for your video❤

[@karolina8465]

You have no idea how helpful this video is for me. I've spent 4 years with a man and suffered anguish through 3 of them. At the end I broke up, because we were totally incompatibile, and it's been 10 years since then, which I spent alone. OCD feels like such a stigma, but I'm happy to name my issue and identify it. I'm 37 and I don't know if I ever be able to be with anyone having this issue, because it feels like I have no contact with my heart and with what it wants, needs or feels. And last time the anxiety was so overwhealming I could bearly function. It caused a lot of distress in the relationship.

[@wholesomeoatmeal]

I got an intrusive thought when you said it’s good for couples to experience new things together. I got “we don’t do enough together. We would be happier if we did” and then I almost had the compulsion to google things to do with your partner and then tell my partner we need to do more things together. Good lord… lol

[@PaigePradkoTherapy]

Oh no. I’m so sorry. If it makes you feel better, it is completely normal for every couple to have those same thoughts even without ROCD. It is a challenge to think of, plan and create new experiences. Even the best of the best couples only pull that off periodically. Most of us just are living normal, mundane lives. Romance can be built in the mundane moments as well. ❤️

[@diagnosal]

My FOCD came up when me and my boyfriend had an argument, I started to become really guilty and my mind yelled at me and called me names like “I’m a cheater.” After that stage it progressed onto “do I really love him?”, “should I break up?” Etc, and those thoughts made me really upset because it felt like it was in my head and not what my heart wanted. Now I don’t feel happy, I don’t feel love or anything and it bothers me so much. I’ve been feeling this way for 3 months and I’m so lost and still upset. I also got upset when I realised I didn’t miss him and when I miss him I usually cry but I don’t anymore and that bothers me. I don’t get butterflies anymore and that bothers me. My mind won’t shut up at all. It’s all draining me.

[@PaigePradkoTherapy]

I am so sorry you are going through that.

[@diagnosal]

@@PaigePradkoTherapy do you have any advice?

[@redmoon8217]

This video is the advice. Did you watch it?

[@pashaniane]

Thank you for the specific examples. It normalizes the experience. As a therapist, I struggle with ROCD and it affects my relationships. I like the things you said. Thank you

[@PaigePradkoTherapy]

So glad it was helpful. ROCD can be so challenging.

[@entropia-flaviacolacicchi5946]

We will do this guys, trust in love and everything will be fine ❣️

[@PaigePradkoTherapy]

❤️

[@matthewelizabeth910]

I am tearing up- you have literally just changed my whole world in 10 minutes. Thank you so much from the bottom of my heart. Thank you i am going to work so hard so one day I can finally be a good partner.

[@rach940]

Thank you for this video, the thoughts and constant rumination has been causing me so much distress. It has helped me to identify with my therapist and accept that I have OCD which includes ROCD. I will subscribe to your channel

[@PaigePradkoTherapy]

I am sorry for the distress it has caused you. I am glad that you have a diagnosis and can now get to work on treating it. I have an OCD course that can help you if you need any extra help to supplement your therapy. www.paigepradko.com/ocd

[@rafaelah3521]

Your face and your energy are so calming. Even through a screen you made me feel like im not alone. Wish i could have you as my therapist. Thank you for that!

[@madh.7497]

My boyfriend of 2 years and prior friend of 3 years has OCD, and throughout this video you helped me understand why he left me the way he did! I knew his darkest thoughts and compulsions but he didn't go to therapy anymore. You helped me reduce my pain so much because i understood that even because i thought our relationship was ideal he must have been in so much pain and thats why he left me. I hope he tries to help himself because he is a wonderful man.

[@PaigePradkoTherapy]

I’m thankful you saw this and can understand that it likely had nothing to do with you or your relationship.

[@karinafernandez6665]

Omg!!!!!!! I’m so glad I stumbled upon this video I never heard of rocd!! This is what I have !! I ruined my 10 marriage with two kids cause of this!! It’s ruin my life and now I’m in a new relationship and I feel like I’m about to do it again but before I make a move I thought maybe I’m bipolar cause I’m so off and on.

[@quackkkk6514]

i often have only negative thoughts. i can be imagining a scenario of me and my boyfriend and end up finding ways it could go wrong (we're laughing at a post on his phone and i find out he's cheating) thoughts of that kind and it's really draining because he has proven himself to me yet these thoughts ruin my mood which i end up reflecting on him i feel stuck and hurt because at times i cant control them

[@PaigePradkoTherapy]

That sounds horrible and I am sorry you are dealing with that. Remind yourself that the thoughts are OCD and that means they are created in your imagination. Then, move through the moment as if they were not there. I realize they may rob you of some of your joy of the moment. But they do not reflect reality.

[@jackybee13]

This was so helpful ! Thank you for putting words to what I feel and sharing information and advice on how to keep moving.

[@PaigePradkoTherapy]

You are so welcome and I am glad it was helpful! ❤️

[@mentesemplicemente]

Hi, I-m20 and recently my boyfriend of 4.5 years left me saying that he was a bit tired of seeing me never happy and he needed time alone. All these years i lived with ROCD and I tried to stay strong even if they exhausted me. now I can see more clearly that the problem is this and all his consequences. But know it-s like a persecution because I’m sad that he left me and i hope that there will be a future for us but the ROCD does not leve me experience my feeling both for sadness and hope. I can-t even trust my hope because ROCD keeps telling me that Im not attracted and so one. I just hope that I will overcome these horrible years. Thank you for your video

[@PaigePradkoTherapy]

I am truly sorry that you are going through this and have lived with this for so long. There is help and you can treat this. Even by recognizing the doubt as OCD can help you. Sometimes you may not feel what you want to feel, but those feelings can wax and wane even in the healthiest relationships. There are books on ROCD that may help you and I do have a course that covers treatment for ROCD if you are interested: www.paigepradko.com/ocd

[@kaustubh9759]

I spent well time with my girlfriend for almost 4-5 months. but then suddenly these type of thoughts started to appear.i know it's wrong to compare your partner in your mind. To look on negative sides, will i ever get back to old me. Please Help Ma'am

[@PaigePradkoTherapy]

Yes, ROCD tends to ebb and flow. You will get back to you. It helps to not treat the thoughts as if they are valid or significant.

[@patfitz6098]

This what exactly I'm going through.

[@ShubhPatel_]

That's what I am going through right now and the guilt that comes with these thoughts, really breaks my heart.

[@09anushkavishnoi22]

Can u plz tell r u ok now ????

[@09anushkavishnoi22]

Can u plz tell r u ok now or same thing is happening?????

[@MichellePoirier12]

This was so incredibly insightful. I have been going through a very confusing time with someone and I feel like you described the situation.

[@PaigePradkoTherapy]

I am so glad the video gave you some insight.

[@AmyBlakeley-k2w]

I had no clue what was wrong ! Thank you for this video. ❤

[@nyqu9681]

Wow thanks!!! I didn’t understand everything but recognizing a lot.. ❤ The last times I have thoughts like: when I leave my boyfriend, then I will be happy again and after leaving feel so much better. … And sometimes I start to believe that thoughts. Because I changed a lot in my life like change job etc.. but never ‘really’ changed boyfriend.. so thinking like: that change would be need to feel that happiness what I’m looking for. I’m 14 years together now. And doubt are coming back a lot times again…. In the past I break up sometimes.. but was not really what I wanted.. and very quick back together. But when I am with him, I feel so bad sometimes. And when he’s gone for work for few days, then I realize sometimes how much I love him and so glad we are still together !!.. so confusing sometimes.. the one moment I realize how much I love him. Other moment I think I feel bad because of him...

[@PaigePradkoTherapy]

I wonder if you can accept that doubt may come and go in every relationship. You have already experienced breaking up and have found that it is not what you want. I hope that you are able to accept the doubt when it pops up, but realize that it is not necessary to act on the doubt.

[@yousryakhamis5849]

I really dont know how to thank you , you really helped me alot ❤

[@LifeInSouthFL]

If while I am watching this video, I start to feel anxiety about the thought of choosing my current partner rather than continuing to look for my "ideal type" could this be a sign that I am experiencing ROCD?

[@PaigePradkoTherapy]

@@LifeInSouthFL without attempting to diagnose OCD on youtube, it is possible that you could be experiencing ROCD. Your doubt may be….what if I don’t find my ideal partner?

[@TotalRookie_LV]

Every night* I fall asleep happy next to her, we've been together for over two decades, maybe (just maybe) it's time I stop doubting my feelings towards her. * - the exception were a few months, when I was in tears nearly every night, after I found out my first girlfriend has died a couple years before that, it hit me incredible hard, despite the fact we parted in the past millennia.

[@Piecesoftheshadow]

What is your obsessions are more turned inward? I do obsessively wonder if we’re compatible, if we’re right for one another, if I would be better with someone else and imagine it even though I absolutely adore and love this person. But far more of my obsessions are me wondering if they love me, rereading their text to calm that anxiety, feeling I’m not worthy or good enough for them, needing reassurance over and over again about the things they say and whether they love me or still care about me. Obsessing over the fear of losing them because they the hurt me or I hurt them. Comparing us to other relationships and using it as proof they don’t love me as much or we’re not right together. And when we fight, then it really triggers my OCD and I struggle to regulate my emotions on top of it. Over and over again and it’s so exhausting and then I spiral with the shame and the guilt 😔

[@yolaa2732]

I love my boyfriend and I respect him. But lately I feel like that love has became too much that it's affecting us and our relationship negatively. I have devaloped an obsessive behavior and a controlling behavior wanting him to be all mine all the time and it's draining me emotionally. I know it's not healthy and I don't have access to therapy, so i'm just struggling by myself. I even think that he would be better off without me and that I'm just a burdon. These feelings are so strong and it feels like i'm drowing

[@elisaperino6851]

I need help, I've already gone through this phase but now the thoughts are stronger, as if I no longer trust myself and my memory, now I'm convinced that I cheated on my girlfriend and don't remember it, that I had dirty chats with other people and forgot about it, what should I do? I feel too bad

[@underratedphonker6395]

Hello , miss. Thank you so much for that video. I have recently went to a therapist to get myself diagnosed saying I have characteristics of ocd , although I won't need medications. I did it, because I wanna change for my new girlfriend. I feel numbness , like Rob and just wanted to say that I found this video very useful and I'd show it to her.

[@PaigePradkoTherapy]

I am so glad that the video was helpful. It sounds like you are working hard at recovery.

[@derkollege2723]

Would it be a good idea if you no longer see each other every day, I and my girlfriend see each other every day and I have the feeling that if we no longer see each other every day, but only once a week, that I have more space to heal and to find more about myself so that the relationship can get better... Especially the relationship with myself

[@livsaunders8029]

From my experience it doesn't reaaaally help with rocd. I've had this thought too along with thoughts like I have to break up so I can heal but lemme tell you. As soon as someone is not around anymore like for a few days you will ruminate. In my experience seeing ur s.o. is also kind of a compulsion and not seeing them is a lot worse. But at the same time you can do exposure work when ur alone bc then the thoughts come up more oftem

[@user-od3be8ny4o]

I don't doubt my love for my partner. I only doubt his love for me. I'm jealous. Paranoid. I check. I dump him. I calm down. The anxiety passes and we get back together. Help!

[@riaansvlogs2913]

I am too much depressed from rocd I am having not getting what to do my partner is now fed up with me

[@Britnie68]

Same. I was fortunate enough that my current therapist eventually recognized this as ocd. We start ERP this month. Just wanted you to know you're not alone because there's not a lot of videos that talk about this from this angle. It's my therapist's suspicion that there's a lot of people who are misdiagnosed with BPD due to the abandonment fear. Wish you the best.

[@garethclark2613]

Thank you for the video. I appreciate it , it has been very helpful. On of the most frustration elements of my ROCD has been feelings of numbness (like in the example) and disinterest. It comes and goes, but often I get in an obsessive checking of emotions and scanning various emotional responses. I was wondering if there was recommended treatment or practices for ROCD of this variety. Thank you.

[@PaigePradkoTherapy]

Yes, that obsessive checking of emotions and internal scanning can become compulsive. I prefer the method of identifying it is ROCD, and that means that the numbness is insignificant. It may be unpleasant to experience, but it has no significance in your relationship decisions because it is OCD. If you allow the numbness to run its course without trying to check and analyze your emotional state, it will resolve on its own much faster.

[@livsaunders8029]

My theme is that I obsessed for two years over someone else and now I am so stuck on this that I have moments where i'm CONVINCED I love him and that I love two people at the same time and the most scariest thing of all is that I sometimes WANT to be with this person more than with my bf. But in reality, when I confront myself with everything, I always choose my bf over anyone else bc I love him so much. But soon after this I start comparing him again to that person. Even tho he e.g does exactly something that I imagined the other person would do it rather scares me bc it makes me think of that other person and how I'll never get that fantasy real and now instead of appreciating him for being exactly like my Fantasy I am down the Rabbit hole of grieving and yearning and hyperfixating and ruminating and crying

[@tabitalykkeschou1450]

I have been doing this too …. It is so hard ….. worst part ….the other mann ….. i Think he feel madly in love with me ….. he has some deep issus too with love i Think ….. maybe he even have ROCD too - but i do not know for sure.

[@rafaelah3521]

I appreciate your video so much. I have a question regarding ROCD. Is it mostly intrusive thoughts of ''what if i dont love him'', ''what if hes not the one''?, or can they also be ''what if he doesn't love me and he is just pretending to'', when a minor inconvinience happens like, he takes a little too long to reply, hasn't told me he loved me today, prioritozed helping his friend out with moving instead of seeing me? That's what i have and i feel like i'm suffocating. Can't function in my everyday life and will even go a day without eating.

[@puntepal607]

Thank you so much for this wonderful video ❤

[@meicore8]

thank you for this video my ocd is so bad that it even tries to convince me that there’s no such thing as rocd and it’s my own thoughts, i feel completely lost ocd ruined everything for me, even imagining my partner’s face comes with distress, except the moments that ocd wasn’t there or wasn’t talking sometimes i completely live without it but the longest i could do was only one week but that one week was the happiest time of my life because i was fully enjoying my relationship i don’t want to leave my partner but it just keeps saying if i leave the problem will be solved immediately it’s so hard to deal with this

[@PaigePradkoTherapy]

I’m so sorry that you are dealing with this and it is robbing you of your happiness in life. You may want to work with an OCD specialist, possible be evaluated for an SSRI antidepressant (helpful for OCD), and possibly consider taking my online OCD course for help. You can treat this and have many more of those weeks without distress.

[@antoniopozo9311]

For six years I was insanely jealous of my best friend because I thought he was having an affair with the woman of my dreams. I spent $5000 on OCD therapy thinking mi intuition was completely wrong. It could not be. It was impossible. Not him. Not her. He was over 40 years her senior. Impossible, right? Six years later, I realized that I had been right all along. And, for all I know, they are still having an affair. Perhaps you do not have ROCD. Perhaps you just have an uncanny intuition, like mine. So, not because you may have OCD, it means that your intuition is mistaken. I was right all along and the therapy made me think it was all a delusion. The therapy actually masked the truth. Made me believe everything was just inside my mind. Now, I know it was all true. Every single time I thought they were together, they were. So, as they say, not because you are paranoid it means that no one is after you.

[@Jesusandmentalhealth]

Thank you so much for this!! 💙

[@PaigePradkoTherapy]

You're so welcome! ❤️

[@sophiehepworth8098]

this was really helpful, thank you!

[@PaigePradkoTherapy]

Glad it was helpful! 😊

[@Valentina-775]

I am in this state for 8 months and I am exhausted I feel horrible I love my partner so much but I feel like my feelings Has dissappered

[@PaigePradkoTherapy]

Feelings are so interesting because they are only experienced in the moment. When we stop and try to examine if we have feelings or emotions, they then become a cognition, or a thought about feelings. And our analysis of a feeling feels pretty dull compared to the experience of an emotion. What I am trying to point out is that it doesn’t help to analyze emotions. Do your best to accept that you may move in and out of this state where you are not feeling emotions in your relationship. That does not mean that you should make a decision about your relationship due to that state or act on that state.

[@guitarika8477]

Hi Dr, I have been suffering from this from past one year with my fiance but only recently I got diagnosed. My fear is that she will cheat on me or talk to guys behind my back and compulsion is calling her, confronting her and seeking reassurance. I have stopped the compulsion to a large extent. But the thoughts still keep coming, I hope it will go away too. I have no history of cheating with this person and our relation suffered a lot because of it.

[@PaigePradkoTherapy]

I am so sorry. Do your best to identify those thoughts as ROCD and continue to stop confronting and reassurance seeking.

[@guitarika8477]

@@PaigePradkoTherapy The hardest part is to call it out as OCD. In the moment those thoughts feel so real that one wonders whether it is really your OCD or real life but only later I realise that it really is OCD.

[@piak78]

Same here. The pain is agonizing. I doubt everything my husband does. I ruminate about his past relationships and question his loyalty to me.i too feel like he's going to cheat and is talking to others behind my back. His behaviour before marriage regarding women irks me. I go into a panic mode everytime I see him glancing at other girls. This unfortunately has gotten worse now. I do not know how to control my emotions or how do I make my husband close his eyes to other chicks. It's been a year since we married. I still obssess over everything he does or says.

[@guitarika8477]

@@piak78 Hi. Sorry to hear that. I wanted to let you know that I went to a psychiatrist and he prescribed some anti-OCD medicine and now its been about a month and I am feeling much better. You may also wanna go to a psychologist and then see whether you also need a psychiatrist.

[@samraAmir077]

Thanx i m suffering

[@사라-c2o]

You have thoughts about fake attraction to someone else?

[@chris-dempsey]

It seems that just about all the examples of intrusive thoughts you gave involve doubting yourself in some way (your love for them, your choice to stay, etc). But what about doubting your partner - their attraction to you, their commitment, fear of abandonment and ruminating on that, etc? Does that fall into ROCD?

[@PaigePradkoTherapy]

Yes, that falls into ROCD as well. Thank you for pointing that out.

[@rikaxch]

I have an amazing partner whom I love the way I can't even explain. This is my first and want to be last romantic relationship. I have a childhood trauma because I was abandoned by my co-called father. Those intrusive thoughts are driving me insane and make me so doubtful towards my boyfriend even though he has never given me any reason to. I'm like what if I get cheated on? What if he finds someone else? and so on. I came to conclusion that it all comes from my childhood trauma and leads to ROCD. Any advices I can take? I just want peace of mind, why is it so difficult for people like me :(

[@PaigePradkoTherapy]

I am so sorry that you had trauma in your childhood. Certain OCD themes can be triggered by past trauma and can make one feel more vulnerable in certain areas. Recognizing your doubt when it pops up as being OCD and past trauma and not based on facts will help you. You will have to stop yourself from getting lost in the rumination and analysis and treating the doubt as if it were based in fact.

[@ButcherShopEdits]

Great info. Thank you.

[@Rebecabritney]

Thank you for this video.

[@haileywithab]

if you write those intrusive thoughts down and start thinking about them on purpose - wont it make you believe in them? im scared that if i will keep saying to myself „im not that attracted to him” i will eventually stop being attracted, stop loving him

[@PaigePradkoTherapy]

If you were using ERP, you trigger the fear and do nothing to calm yourself and your brain will learn to not react to the fear. Similar to watching a scary movie over and over again. But you do not have to use that form of treatment. You could also remind yourself that your thoughts are OCD and that they are only in your imagination and therefore are not valid.

[@clareg87]

What do you think about journalling and "normal" talking therapy? Are these both just ways to ruminate further/compulsively analyse?

[@wendynoboa3580]

Please add Spanish subtitles✨🙌🏽 to share it

[@PaigePradkoTherapy]

I will have to look into how to do that. Thanks you 😊

[@sabrinacz]

Such a good video!!!!

[@sandyahumada7247]

What’s the difference between ROCD and BPD and CPTSD? There’s so many symptoms that seem to overlap.

[@ashleyb4984]

Would anyone be interested in doing a ROCD group zoom?

[@cheeseoneverythingplease]

Hi, Paige! What if someone with OCD also has strong fearful avoidant traits? How will they know whether the decision to break up comes from having OCD or if it’s fear of intimacy and commitment? There are so many layers. My ex is a fearful avoidant although he believes he was sure of his decision to break up with me , he went back to his old patterns of addiction and casual relationships. So, in such short time, how can one know if it’s not their fears speaking louder?

[@PaigePradkoTherapy]

That’s a really great question. If someone struggles with what they believe is ROCD, it would make sense that they would want to be assessed for OCD. Most people have dealt with several different themes of OCD besides ROCD and fully recognize OCD doubt and what-ifs when they experience intrusive thoughts. OCD is OCD and it does not just affect relationships in most people. Avoidant attachment patterns can be identified by examining past relationships, and these patterns would include avoidant behaviors but would not include intrusive thoughts or compulsions like rumination and reassurance seeking as in ROCD. But it is possible someone could have both OCD and an avoidant attachment style. This stuff isn’t easy. Here is a link to an OCD assessment: www.paigepradko.com/ocdquiz

[@cheeseoneverythingplease]

⁠@@PaigePradkoTherapywhoa! Thank you so much for your attention! It’s indeed heavy stuff. I know for sure he has intense doubts about relationships and intrusive thoughts since day 1 because he said so. He admitted he overthinks and analyzes intensity of feelings, comparing with past relationships, if there’s attraction enough, if it’s the right person or not, but he always associated the doubts to his fearful avoidant attachment. But you’re right, it may be both in different levels. Thank you again!

[@derkollege2723]

I got one question… I dont ask myself „does this feel right ?“… It dont feel right … Is there a difference ?

[@PaigePradkoTherapy]

With OCD, things that are right can feel like they are “not right”. Sometimes we have to bypass those feelings.

[@mojiburraju5259]

Few month ago my wife share me about her Ex BF. So i constantly ask her every single day what have you done, how serious that relationship. How was the dating situation? Both of you were so close? So when she told me al those thing. Its stuck in my mind. Now every single moment i keep thinking about that. I keep imagin how she touch his hand or hug or talk sweetly. Now i make my wife everyday cry regarding this issue. She tried to Council me that past is past. Now i love you so much. I but didn’t melt. I start hate her now. Even Hate to touch her. Feel like someone already touch you so i can't. Problem is always try to forgot all those thing throw all out of my mind and start love her. but i really can't. Completely no sympathy for her. Besides, i can't focus work, no future career thoughts. Stomach and chest pain. I don’t know what disorder i have. Weather its.. OCD? delusion jealously disorder? Or anxiety disorder?

[@PaigePradkoTherapy]

I am truly sorry you are going through this. There is an OCD theme called Retroactive Jealousy OCD and this is what you are describing. You can treat it with ERP or using some of the methods I discussed in this video.

[@_charwiecz]

I’ve been having thoughts about whether or not I ever loved my bf in the first place bc I didn’t think I liked him before he told me how he felt and ever since then I’ve just been in this fog of overthinking. I feel like I’m convincing myself I don’t have feelings for him and I hate jt

[@EmsLionheart]

Havent been touched in a decade. He sits upstairs while im downstairs. For as long as i can rem. I cannot do steps as often and the upstairs is TOO HOT. No matter how high we crank AC. He doesnt give a reason as to why he doesnt want to hang w me downstairs. He just doesnt do it. Til i bring it up. Then he will for a few days. But then reverts right back. Was raised by narcissist mom and her enabler my dad. Discovered late in life i was empathic. I think i chose a parnter who is the combo of my mother n father. 🕊

[@InicialesCMB]

Wow. Thank you

[@PaigePradkoTherapy]

You are very welcome

[@saniyasehgal6394]

I have rocd is it possible to have a full recovery?? I am 18 I can't live like this my whole life

[@PaigePradkoTherapy]

OCD and OCD themes can come and go throughout life. OCD is treatable and people are able to learn how to cope when intrusive thoughts pop up.

[@elenalousidi4260]

Hey… I’m 18 too and I think Im experiencing the same thing… Do you want to talk about it (I think it would help talking with someone the same age)

[@shlomifnunu7473]

by my experince live with OCD and motoric tourette always hard challenge, i live with stress emotion people around me high amount of emotion they not aware to this they never did. i was teaching myself emotions brain body work without aware to logic. emotions dont understand nothing only logic can think different. i think brain is always awareness when emotions goes hard its make the hard for think aware i know :( but i always work on remember emotions is old brain dont understand nothing. thank you

[@PaigePradkoTherapy]

Thank you for your comment. 🙏❤️

[@lianha]

What if both partners have CPTSD from previous abusive relationships/childhood abuse and trigger each other SO easily that it leads to fighting with instances of verbal abuse, and then one doesn’t trust the other as a result? Even with apologies and effort to change it is still so difficult to trust. Is there hope for that kind of situation? Especially if neither partner can afford therapy?

[@PaigePradkoTherapy]

I am so sorry. That sounds like real relationship issues that are not the result of OCD. If both partners wish to work on the relationship and cannot see a therapist, you may find resources in books, videos and podcasts to help you.

[@juliadooki49]

thank you so much

[@shivanikulkarni8181]

I have been struggling with ROCD since almost a year now, I had experienced the thoughts about do I really love him etc., but now my theme has changed and it’s about my partner’s family… if people judge them because our relationship has become official and I am also having thoughts like what if I break it off. Is this still ROCD? Is there anyone who has had similar thoughts? Thank you for your video.

[@oisincarroll6037]

Hi there, I have ROCD and I found this video really helpful. By any chance , do you deliver 1 to 1 sessions ?

[@PaigePradkoTherapy]

Thank you for asking. You may contact me at paigepradko.com. I have resources for OCD. I am available for individual sessions when I have that availability. 😊

[@Hi-levels]

Yeap i have this. With a more promiscous gf i was kept beating my self about her body count. Now i am woth a pure gf now i am questioneing everything. If we get divorced ill find a new one and i will still be mad getting anxious about everything.

[@vibingreverbs613]

I’ve been in a relationship with my boyfriend from 1 year but i have so many doubts about us. I always end us thinking he’s not the one for me, i can get a better guy , he’s not meeting my expectations etc. He has changed a lot and tries to understand me but i ALWAYS end up thinking i can get better treatment, this is not a relationship i always wanted. Though he is also becoming a better version of himself but idk it would be a great day with him and i would suddenly start to question my relationship. This is so frustrating plus he has changes A LOT for me and then too im having more doubts than ever. I would create scenarios that if this gonna happen im gonna end the relationship. Please tell me is this ROCD or im in a wrong relationship?

[@PaigePradkoTherapy]

I am sorry you are going through this struggle. Unfortunately, I cannot make that judgement on youtube because I would have to access you for OCD and take a full history, etc. Perhaps you can make a list of what you are unhappy about in the relationship and what you like about the relationship. Then, look at the items on the “unhappy” list and ask yourself if these are real relationship concerns versus OCD doubts.

[@vibingreverbs613]

@@PaigePradkoTherapy Thankyou so much Paige! Yes i will write down this stuff and figure it out

[@zoborzo]

I hope the guy leave you, so you will realize how good he is !

[@ZeroSpawn]

HahA. I'm 4 decades in and single for 10 years. Game over here. Impossible to get in to a relationship or spit out babies; no one wants to date a wacko. Ocd all my life, just found out 2 weeks ago. Yay 🎉.

[@therocknrollcook]

Can ROCD be comorbid or confused with Avoidant Attachment? Thanks for this.

[@PaigePradkoTherapy]

That’s a great question. I don’t believe so, although someone could have both. There are not compulsions with avoidant attachment.

[@michiko6489]

Im not diagnosed with ocd but i have this sudden big anxiety if i Love my partner, because of my previous relationship. You say here about focusing on the other persons flaws or how they can hurt us but what if i focus on my flaws and im terrified of hurting them? Is it the same? is it rocd or maybe something completely different?

[@PaigePradkoTherapy]

I am sorry you experience that. People with ROCD experience what you are describing as well. However, I cannot say whether you have OCD or not.

[@michiko6489]

Thank You for reply 🙏​@@PaigePradkoTherapy

[@Luke-Emmanuel]

What are 'generally' some of the root anxiety traumas that cause rocd?

[@PaigePradkoTherapy]

Trauma is not always in someone’s past with OCD. There is likely a genetic component and for some people, they may have experienced a trauma that expresses the genetics. The trauma could be anything. Perhaps losing an important person in your life. However, even having a virus can trigger OCD in some people.

[@Yyez-yy1]

I did many stuff with my partner such as hangout tgt ,do many stuff including..u know but suddenly my intrusive thought told me that that it was not me and how do i get rid of that thought when i know it was me who was spending time with my partner!!🙂😢 i don’t blame her but it was my own thought who made up this crap and i feel like wanted to kill myself even i trusted her so much

[@PaigePradkoTherapy]

I’m so sorry. You have to remind yourself that it’s ocd having those doubts and those doubts are only living in your imagination.

[@madison978]

Lmao I get all of the thoughts and then to make it worse I get the thought of what if it’s just my I tuition and not ocd and I’m just not listening to it and can never fully enjoy and relax in my relationships especially the ones I care abt the most

[@PaigePradkoTherapy]

I think having a sense of humor about what OCD tries to convince you of can be helpful. OCD can be just plain ridiculous at times.

[@elisabettajdj335]

those who seek out these types of videos are most likely to not have rocd. Think about it for a moment. It is like chain smokers going to tobacco company research and ads to confirm that smoking is not unhealthy, instead of thinking for themselves for a moment and confronting the inconvenient truth. No, you likely are not having rocd. And those rocd 'therapists' (I have not seen any of them with any credentials, not even a university degree or anything) of course are telling you that you have rocd. It is their only source of income lol

[@PaigePradkoTherapy]

😂 I am a board certified, licensed, practicing psychotherapist with multiple degrees and specialized training. My post graduate training in ERP from the International OCD Foundation’s Behavioral Therapy Training Institute is the highest level of training for treating someone with OCD. And, I am wondering what your qualifications are?

[@elisabettajdj335]

​@@PaigePradkoTherapygood, at least you have something to show for unlike people like kiyomi lafleur or sarah yudkin. still doesnt solve the issue that you are preaching about smoking to chain smokers who actively seek out videos that smoking is healthy. I dont see that being resolved at all, especially as the signs you point out are hard to distinguish from "im not into him/her, but i fear being lonely".

[@itstiaamia]

@@elisabettajdj335 please reconsider posting things like this under these types of videos, you are likely going to really trigger sufferers. If you don’t agree with the video or any of the things mentioned, that’s your opinion and it’s fine. But to say people watching the videos don’t have it and comparing it to smoking is harmful and insensitive

[@itsgrumpypants6056]

But how can you know the difference between these being valid thoughts and just what ifs that are you trying to scare yourself out of the relationship

[@PaigePradkoTherapy]

I love your user name. That’s a good question. Valid thoughts do not feel the same as OCD doubts. They are based in fact and the here and now evidence. OCD doubts are those “what-if’s” that make you question your feelings, your relationship and yourself.

[@ever-picky-mama]

What about things like being concerned you’re incompatible forever based on actual conflict ?

[@adriansvarela]

wonderful 10/10 video. It's such a relief to know i'm not alone. I definitely identify with this 100%!!! it makes me want to do stupid things compulsively without thinking. But I will keep my hands on the wheel through the fog.

[@ghostcleanseIRL]

i needed this. Thank you

[@PaigePradkoTherapy]

Glad you found it when you needed it. ❤️

[@karinanikoghos7285]

I really like the level of empathy I feel from watching this video. I am in this same hell as others who watch this. Recovery would feel so beautiful. Thank You ❤

[@PaigePradkoTherapy]

I am sorry you are going through this. It helps to recognize it as OCD when it flairs up. It doesn’t make it easier, but it helps to separate it from you.

[@sherrybizzetti31]

In Rob's example he was already in a relationship, already committed to that person for 2 years… I can't get even remotely close to that that I immediately panic and feel lots and lots of anxiety covering my feelings… I feel like this is the worst thing that could happen to me, it will never make me able to feel love

[@PaigePradkoTherapy]

I am so sorry you are struggling with this. 😥

[@azureart5180]

thank you so much for this Paige. your counsel has been so valuable for me as i’ve struggled through different forms of ocd these past years. there may be a relationship blooming for me right now, which is already such a crazy and new experience. i had BAD ocd yesterday because i had been smitten with this person ever since i met them, we talked nonstop, even have two more dates planned-but then i started getting doubts like, “am i really attracted to them? what if i’m not?” and i was compulsively checking to see if i was and was in so much turmoil because i couldn’t make those happy butterflies come back. your video has helped me realize i need to ignore my ocd and proceed. thanks!

[@PaigePradkoTherapy]

I am sorry this OCD theme popped up. OCD always seems to attack what we care about. I am glad the you found the video to help you through it.

[@hylancollins8428]

Hi Ive been dealing with ROCD for 8 months I’m 16 years old and this video helped me one of the main fears I struggle with is spending too much time together or my brain will try to make me anxious to hang out with her when I really want too. ROCD is super draining for me but this video helped me keep going. 🖤

[@PaigePradkoTherapy]

I am so glad the video helped you. ROCD can be very draining.

[@happyrule96]

Hi so my thoughts will consist of I love her and my mind will go no you don't or what if she's not the one? I know I love her so much and I really feel like she is the one. When we hang out in the moment everything is perfect and I am able to focus on her. It is when I am not with her that the thoughts come. I think this is still ROCD even if its not so much what ifs and just negative thoughts sometimes. Do you think this sounds like ROCD? Everything was fine a month ago I feel like I am spiraling. Also I was in an abusive (emotionally abusive) relationship 2 years ago, could this have started because of that?

[@PaigePradkoTherapy]

It sounds very much like ROCD, but of course I cannot diagnose anyone over youtube. I admire how you are able to decipher when the negative thoughts contradict how you think and feel normally. Don’t listen to those negative thoughts. 😊

[@angitapaul4198]

Ma'am I have all rocd symptoms......and i doubting my partner with his female friend........ for this doubt I feel like i don't love him.....i hate him.....but i really don't want to leave my partner......i constantly doubting him....what should I do.... please reply.....

[@Chaoss120]

But does r ocd also apply to friendships aswell not just dating someone

[@PaigePradkoTherapy]

Yes, absolutely. ROCD can cause obsessive doubt in any relationship.

[@patfitz6098]

Thank you so much, i cannot thank you enough for this info, This is what i exactly needed. I wish i can feel happiness again

[@PaigePradkoTherapy]

I hope so too ❤️

[@victorialovewareing3037]

Do you have a video on retroactive jealousy OCD? Where a partner cannot stop obsessing over their partners past sexual life / partners? Thank you.

[@PaigePradkoTherapy]

I do need to make a video on that topic. If you are struggling with this, you are not alone. It is related to ROCD, but different.

[@Petitemorte666]

This helped a lot! I am not currently in a relationship but I'm scared I will always be alone all of my life ,even when i have a crush on someone i get all the symptoms of rocd ,i also had rocd in my previous relationship and my ex left me when he found out

[@Teasy_32]

Thank you so much! Having got an explanation makes it reasonable somehow, doesn't feel like being a destructive creep searching for reasons for no reason. Being 52, just diagnosed autistic, I find the way back to myself slowly by unmasking intentionally more and more as I need it. Lifting the veil of not understanding myself by growing and having found t o o l s which I am learning to use when needed.

[@DessieFarms]

I live with this and it feels like there is someone in my mind that’s not me and I feel like I’m constantly fighting with it. I’ve been in a relationship for 2 years and have felt like this for a year. I know it’s relationship ocd because any intrusive thought I get I get so overwhelmed it feels like I’m going to explode. I sometimes can find little things that can make it go away for an extended period of time. But I have never been in healthier relationship and I’m just so scared because I love her to death and I feel like my minds fighting me and I can’t comprehend it.

[@PaigePradkoTherapy]

I am glad that you recognize that it is OCD. You do not ever have to make a decision because of what OCD tells you. Just leave those thoughts to themselves without examining them or arguing with them. Stay present with what you are doing, not what you are thinking.

[@suha26]

Ma'am i am in relationship from almost 3 months it was going all happy and good and suddenly ive started to question everything abt my partner and relationship im stuck on those thoughts i question my love and feel unworthy of him . I had this friend that i cut cords with i was so close to him and leaving him happened recently before getting in relationship so i have a little compassion for him but ik i dont want to get back to same old thing i left him for a reason which was valid still these thoughts make me question :- do i really love my partner why am i feeling bad for someone im no more in touch with . I thought of leaving my partner that means I don't love him . My bf does everything possible makes me feel loved in all ways and reassures me still i am like this .

[@PaigePradkoTherapy]

I am sorry that you are having those doubts. It sounds like you are in a wonderful and healthy relationship. It is possible to care about people from our past and that does not mean that we do not love the person we are with.

[@suha26]

@@PaigePradkoTherapy thanks alot ma'am. After reading this I am feeling kinda better abt myself ❤️

[@사라-c2o]

​@@suha26 You still have this thoughs?😢

[@bahohhblah]

My life is ruined

[@PaigePradkoTherapy]

😢

[@CharlieMorgan-ll4ht]

Hey, I’ve had some pretty bad types of ocd my whole life. I didn’t realize it was ocd or what ocd even was until I got in my first relationship. I’m 20 now and we’ve been dating for around 10 months. I know I have rocd and retroactive jealousy. Sometimes I question if I even love my partner, I try to list out reasons why I love them but only come up with “I love them cause they love me” type answers. She has never harmed me and it’s obvious she loves me. We have different interests which makes things difficult at times. I have frequent thoughts like “is she pretty enough”. Sometimes I don’t like the way she talks and it will just annoy me. Sometimes I’m embarrassed to bring her around my friends. I overthink things she says a lot. When she doesn’t like something I like it really makes me question whether she’s the one. It’s gotten a little better since I can label the stuff as ocd now. I just wanted to know if these are common thoughts? Do a lot of people with rocd share these same thoughts as me? What should I do about them? Anything would help pls!

[@peggyalexander4491]

Yes as long as those things are temporary ebs and flows happen do those things that annoy you also sometimes make you love her ?

[@ivanvukoja7654]

I feel like I wanna scream inside of me all the time.. every time thoughts come, rumination starts and automatically my inner self starts to fight and scream trying to resist..its automatic..i feel like Im possessed,like that voice is telling me all this lies and it feels like im believing it..

[@ivanvukoja7654]

And what's funny before OCD I have that thoughts aswell like every human,but there were not so obsessive and disturbing for everyday life..

[@carolinesb10]

Thank you so much, I really needed this. As soon as my boyfriend brought up engagement , I started to “pick him apart” and I feel like I’m on this pendulum of confidence and doubt. I feel this urgency to know what I need to do right at the moment. This helped me so much!

[@PaigePradkoTherapy]

I am so glad it helped you. ❤️

[@kristymarie6065]

Thank you for talking about ocd. Ocd 20 yrs and I can’t even work now. Can people work that have ocd?

[@PaigePradkoTherapy]

Yes, many people work that have ocd. There are different levels of severity experienced by people with ocd.

[@gigitzm]

Is there something you can you do when after all the anxiety, all the need for constant reassurance and blowing things over proportion and questioning and looking dissatisfied, you drove the partner away and created distance.And all the things that you feared now seem more likely to become real,when before they were mostly in your head. I keep thinking breaking up scenarios, trying to be prepared,and it devastates me.

[@livsaunders8029]

I think the best way to deal with thoughts of breaking up is literally to look at them as some way of preparing. It's not bad that you do it it's just you preparing for the possivbility of breaking up even if it may never come. It's like you have some Presentation at school and ur scared so naturally ur gonna catastrophize and go trough every scenario. It's something we were taught as kids. Remember, every time we were scared, someone asked: ehat is the worst that could Happen? The thing here is to realize its not that bad .

[@gigitzm]

@@livsaunders8029 I appreciate your answer! Thank you very much!