What Does ROCD/RA REALLY Feel Like?

[@itstiaamia]

Currently in the middle of a huge rocd flare up. Thank you for this kiyomi💛

[@Awakenintolove]

❤❤❤

[@ajdeming4416]

“What is wrong with me?” I can relate to that shame and guilt.

[@Awakenintolove]

#YANA love ❤

[@M.M.49]

A topic I would like to hear discussed is ROCD as a result of a controlling and abusive and violent relationship which used jealousy and accusations and shaming to remain in control of their own insecurity to “keep” you

[@krystalkriete7761]

This is the only thing I can find on the internet that actually dives into ROCD. I struggle with just focusing on my relationship even with nothing is wrong then I question everything and hate the feeling and intrusiveness I get 😢

[@alemaolonghi]

Yeah, I agree with you... I'm in a bad place now, where I have a fantastic partner and I think it's better to end the relationship with no cause :/ even though rationally, I'm certain that ending the relationship will be much worse.

[@Awakenintolove]

please know that you are not alone and there is hope to healing in ROCD. -AIL Team ❤

[@krystalkriete7761]

@@Awakenintolove I’ve been doing therapy for years now and I still feel stuck sometimes

[@Awakenintolove]

@@krystalkriete7761 we so understand love. Please know that healing takes time too. We want to ask if have you done the AIL ROCD/RA academy? Our course have amazing tools that will be so helpful in your journey. If you haven't tried the course yet, feel free to join here: rocdcourse.com/start. By joining, you will also get excellent tools and resources to help you find freedom from ROCD and get your questions answered.

[@Awakenintolove]

Need ROCD/RA support? Join Kiyomi Inner Circle (KIC) before this Sunday, July 30th, 2023, 23:59pm MST: rocdcourse.com/kic-publicoffer

[@Sofia_RR84825]

This was amazing, you seriously need to do more videos like this. It was so nice seeing someone truly understand and educate/speak on the topics. I definitely needed this and it’s helped my partner understand💗

[@Awakenintolove]

yay! we're so glad you like this video love. -AIL team ❤

[@kanemccreadie1689]

I get annoyed with rocd so much cause there are days where I wanna give up but then I remember that I do want my gf and that I'll trudge through getting better no matter how hard it is. Still hate the feeling of maybe it was the truth all along but I'll figure that out. Appreciate all you do.

[@Rushdia-di5by]

How is it now?

[@Existancexo]

The first time I’ve seen another male struggle with this, I feel like there is something so wrong with me, I have the best partner I could have ever asked for, loves me even with all my problems and all the mistakes I’ve made but for some reason I think she isn’t the one, and I’m not in love with her because I keep getting flashbacks and memories that intrude at the worst possible times that have to do with situations from my past and past partners.. I’ve only really noticed my thoughts since I went to therapy after a mistake I made early on in our relationship that was so small and has been forgiven that I can’t let go of, going to therapy I got diagnosed with a heap of issues regarding my upbringing (Cptsd, OCD, adhd anxiety and depression I was so unaware of all of it and thought i was somewhat normal, now it has all come up and I don’t know what’s true and I don’t know if the thoughts I have and feelings mean something and I’m constantly looking for answers and I think it will all go away if I leave the only person who understands me and my mental state, also looking for reasons to get out and have these unrealistic rules in my head that means it can’t work, along with googling things that tell me it’s not right when I know she is the best chance I have for ever having love and making a family to right the wrongs from my childhood. I’m 27 now and I feel like my eyes are open but no idea what the truth is and it feels very lonely

[@kanemccreadie1689]

Ups and downs, haven't given up

[@ClaudiaPerez-w9s]

@@kanemccreadie1689how are you doing now ?

[@elainemayronne7419]

This comment is about your OCD video which comments are disabled so i came to another video to say that i appreciate your title... 'Yu may have never heard of'.. instead of..'you have never heard of'. Very much appreciated. You say personal opinion and professional opinion which I rarely hear. Thank yu!

[@mpesposito6973]

Hands-down, one of the best videos that you’ve made! The story about the coworker really landed for me. I love throughout the video, you pointed out the difference between someone with ROCD and someone without, and how they both experienced the same things, but react differently.

[@BobG2fjdjdjsf]

Hey Kyomi. Just wanted to say this video was super helpful, especially since i related to so many of the examples you mentioned. Your work is much appreciated. Im seeing one of the AIL coaches next week for a consult. Just watching these videos has already brought me more peace. Im confident i can further understand these feelings and find healing. Thank you so much!

[@Mistical1982]

This is the best video I’ve found so far. Straight to the point! Love the examples…. I can relate to them all. I’ve felt defective for years.

[@marie12364]

Me and my bf started dating in 2022 (he’s my first real bf😂), then this year we spent a month separated (because I freaked out about the possible future problems in our relationship and my head told me that the only way was to brake up), I suffered so much missing him, and missing us! Then we came back and a month later this terrible thoughts started coming… I felt/feel so guilty because he’s literally the greatest person I’ve ever met, I KONOW I love him and e feel so peaceful and honest around him and his family… but this obsessions are killing me! Thank you for this videos

[@rachaelphillips9486]

Sometimes I have feelings of anxiety around my partner. Then I think that because I am not feeling completely relaxed around him that I don't want to be with him. Then I feel bad for my feelings and get serious anxiety. I was in a relationship for 4 years where I had severe anxiety with him and then left him. This makes me scared that this is happening again.

[@DreamerIsabella]

This was an Amazing video about Rocd! Thanks you. I'm in a relationship and experiencing all of this and was incredibile to hear all my thoughts in your video. This really help me to understand my situation better ❣️

[@angelfrench7882]

Thank you so much for this content! I’m in a new relationship and experiencing this, you explained everything so perfectly that I’m now understanding exactly what’s going on.

[@Awakenintolove]

❤❤❤❤

[@karol5502]

This happened to me, sometime my heart ex’s name comes to my mind, and I feel soooo guilty and bad, and start thinking and making questions

[@leopatraa6752]

Best video with great examples! You really helpt me to know for sure I actually do have ROCD. Thank you so much!!! ❤

[@jessicabrady5693]

So glad you’re back kiyomi! Love this video, hope you’re doing well 💗

[@Awakenintolove]

❤❤❤

[@MacheteKitten]

How do you explain an anxiety disorder or anxiety from a disorder like ASD (I have both) to a partner that doesn't have those things? Many people assume anxiety has to have a reason and cannot understand that anxiety from a mental disorder is different. They can take your anxiety way too personally and look for a 'logical' reason for it. It can be really hard to explain to someone "No, you didn't DO anything... My amygdala isn't functioning properly."

[@DT45763]

More videos on Relationship Anxiety. I feel like I very well overcame the thoughts and feelings of if I love my partner or not. Now I really just have anxiety about if they love me or if they want to leave me or don’t have feelings anymore. I feel like I read into everything they do and I’m not doing great

[@kamya6317]

how did you overcome the feelings of you love them or not? currently suffering from it for a month I'd really love some insight :(

[@lilynorris5230]

hi kiyomi!!🥰 you should make a video of when it feels like you truth but you are constantly going back and forth in your head!! YANA❤️

[@kyrier9827]

YES!! Please!

[@aidanik-s5w]

thank you kiyomi this video was so helpful same as all of your videosi relate to all of your examples!

[@Awakenintolove]

❤❤❤ you're so welcome love and YANA

[@renatadelatorre8965]

Thanks for this video, you are my savior!!!! Ready to join your courses 😼😼❤️

[@Awakenintolove]

Yay! See you in the course love. If you wish to join the AIL ROCD/RA Academy, feel free to sign up here: rocdcourse.com/start . And if you wish to join KIC (Kiyomi's Inner Circle) you can sign up here: rocdcourse.com/kic-publicoffer

[@theglowuplab27]

I’ve been with this for 1 year and I have good days but omg when is bad is really bad

[@Cece_vlogss]

I’m in the same situation, 1 year, I felt good from January-march this year tho, but I feel like it’s slowly coming back and is a horrible feeling, I just hope it gets better

[@bosniantheolog3451]

I feel like I love her but sometimes I doubt it and fear thoughts of separating and breaking up

[@cecilselormamediku9560]

Me too

[@alicja915]

hey is it symptom of ROCD when my partner feels like a stranger to me? like when i look at his pics he looks like a stranger and i cant remember his face and time we spent together

[@emiliebolling6825]

oh my god i get this too

[@macywilson8127]

I don't find others attractive to be honest, I don't entertain that as I feel like it's not fair if I don't want my partner feeling the same way, and I don't think I don't love my partner, but in that mindstate I feel resentment that I'm not the only one. It's stupid.

[@valentinrosa2645]

I people, I'm a french friend! I've start several exercices to accept this ROCD.. but right now, I've a horrible feeling.. this feeling that's not natural anymore with my partner , that there is only anxiety... I prey all the day that I will bé connected to her and natural with her again, too laught again, toi be myself... That's hard, I feel like I'm empty sometimes.. so depressed... Feel so down rightnow and I'm feeling like it will Never comeback... I wish you Hope and Love

[@Awakenintolove]

Hi love, please know we so understand how you feel. ROCD can be difficult, but please know you are not alone. There is hope to healing and finding freedom from ROCD. Sending you so much love. -AIL Team

[@beautifulvision40]

Not me watching this to compulsively check of i have ROCD and being humbled im the 1st 3 minutes 😀 Thank you for the work you do. 💚

[@MollyAnna-d9o]

Hey I’m new here I’ve been having normal ocd for a while a long time (about 10 years) now out of the blue couple days ago I thought “I don’t love my partner” “Have I ever loved him” “is it all a lie” “Am I just comfortable” “I need to leave him” But I feel so numb towards it like I can’t remember any previous feeling towards him I feel nothing towards him all of a sudden or leaving him what’s wrong with me? Is this ROCD

[@CoffeeYum13]

I just want to say that I have been struggling with this EXACT same thing you’re describing, almost word for word. I’m no expert, but I do believe that this is a form of ROCD. After about 3 months now of struggling with it, it is finally starting to ease up a little bit for me. The videos on this channel have really been helping me. I hope you’re getting the help you need and that things are alright, it’s really tough.

[@Sheislove144]

Try being with a man that has kids and a whole ex wife and you wanted kids and cant have them! I dint think i will ever want to be with anyone ever i feel guilty and bad for my thoughts and feelings and i want to just be alone than feel RJ! I want to literally stay alone forever

[@evanmcinturf6848]

I have suffered from every example you said

[@luisegunther7116]

What if I don’t take care to see him for 2 weeks ? I m constantly checking myself if I want to see him or not… my brain is so sure that I don’t love him anymore, but I don’t want to leave I just want the feeling again 😭

[@Awakenintolove]

Hi love, we so understand and please know you are not alone. -AIL Team

[@Rushdia-di5by]

How is it now?

[@movieadda4440]

How you doing now??

[@luisegunther7116]

@@movieadda4440 I broke up but it had nothing to do with my ROCD. This anxiety was real and had nothing to do with the relationship. You can heal from it -> meditation helped me a lot

[@bodhisattwabanerjee5803]

I wish to ask something. Can ROCD come on and off in a long term relationships?

[@Awakenintolove]

Yana love -AIL Team

[@DT45763]

Does it make sense to be scared of it my partner doesn’t it won’t give me enough attention and if that’s a reason to leave?

[@iamthatiam9966]

your mic is too low. I can hear you

[@sadac3500]

Subtitles please 😞🌸

[@Awakenintolove]

we will work on the subtitles love. -AIL Team

[@RaphaWasHere]

a lot of anger

[@Awakenintolove]

we understand how you feel love. Please know you are not alone. Sending you so much love. -AIL Team

[@cyndihauptman5857]

I have been suffering with this for over 4 years now with my current fiance😢 I have been divorced twice and am in a new relationship with a loving, caring, supportive wonderful man. My first marriage ended from my ex having an affair. My 2nd marriage of 21 years was with a narcissistic, abusive , hateful man that also had an affair. So here i am with an amazing man that i reconnected with from junior high school. The first 2 years were the best I've ever felt in my life, total honeymoon hormones and feelings. Then we moved in together and everything changed.... my mind wouldn't stop obsessing about hours this wasn't right, i picked apart everything he did, frustrated, felt angry, felt disgust at times over his habits, how he would talk, all the things. I couldn't get it to stop and it has continued for FOUR years!! I have cried, beat myself up, felt sick, felt so much sadness. Even with all these emotions, i still said yes when he proposed. My therapist told me to leave him and he just didn't sound like he was the one for me. I felt like i wanted to die honestly. This man couldn't be better than he is. I love him and i want it to work so bad. I had never heard about ROCD until the other day, and i feel so understood now, it's like a weight of clarity has come over me. I have been obsessively watching your videos and trying to learn. I pray this is the answer to my prayers. I don't want to leave this man. I have literally thought about suicide to end these feelings of despair. I have struggled with depression, anxiety, ocd, CPTSD my whole life from an abusive step father and childhood trauma. The thing i silly understand is WHY do we have ROCD? What causes it? Thank you for your amazing videos and caring heart❤

[@sunn129]

Please let me know how you plan to overcome it.. what you have told is soo relateable...even though we want to stop it and in our heart we know he is the best man one could wish for but those insecurities and distress just comes up ..and I cannot help it and stop it ..

[@cyndihauptman5857]

@sunn129 It's terrible! Sounds like you know how awful it is😩 This concept of ROCD, I have never heard before and I'm 54!!! I've been a mess my whole life🤦‍♀️🤦‍♀️. I seriously have felt like I'm never going to be at peace or feel joy. Hugs to you

[@sunn129]

@@cyndihauptman5857 I even went to the extent of diagnosing myself as having borderline personality disorder..and went to a psychiatrist ( I am a doctor myself too)..but she literally laughed at me that this is not how BPD looks like

[@cyndihauptman5857]

@sunn129 I can relate to this as well! I have been on this constant search for the answers. Believing maybe I had BPD too or is it Autism, or ADHD?! Self diagnosing everything under the sun and feeling like I'm crazy nuts. I'm exhausted! I still don't really understand what causes this ROCD/Anxiety, but I know it is EXACTLY what I've been going through the last 4 years. To be honest, I think it's been my whole life with every partner I've had. Granted my last ex husband of 21 years caused so much pain, physically, mentally and emotionally that it was justified I felt no love for him. I'm just so relieved to not be alone in this.

[@Awakenintolove]

we so understand love, and please know you are not alone and there is hope to healing and finding freedom from ROCD/RA. Sending you so much love. -AIL Team