Chapter 4

[@RenMakesStuff]

thank youu every1 for yourr support and respect with these!! we are half way through the chapters. I have a new song coming out on Thursday which includes moments from all of these chapters, it wouldd mean a lot if you can pre-order on iTunes or bandcamp

[@Tinkerbell9332]

Ren if you ever get the chance I feel a book would sell well in your merch store! Seriously! You are incredibly interesting! And thank you so much for taking the time to do this! Ps. (edit) I have already pre ordered on bandcamp my friend 😉

[@dancerbird76]

Done and done….preordered on both. 💜🔥

[@francesdoll4039]

Done in the first instant. Support and respect always.

[@anneelina]

Always

[@pointlesslab4179]

Looking forward to the film and the book. Preordering done!

[@sarahloveslyrics]

Love how you can still find the humour in life 🖤😉

[@alyralla8548]

I believe that the worst part of this whole story is not having an enemy to fight against... You're left alone with 'What the hell is wrong with me?' echoing in your head, to the point of worrying and feeling guilty for shattering the hopes and expectations of those around you (family and friends), when in reality it's YOU who is falling apart... You can have thousands of symptoms, but without a diagnosis, the doubt that it's all in your head persists, and it's possibly more dangerous than the illness itself.

[@PeachesandMoss]

Yep. That’s been my life for the last 12 years. Ren’s story is so relatable for me.

[@thehangingparsiple5692]

Wow! So perfectly put ❤

[@stefanoshiroi9078]

That's just my life in the last 15 years. I can only be grateful for having a strong mind and having always refused the psychotropic drugs that some doctors wanted to prescribe to me.. they would only have given me the final blow into the void. Thanks Ren for your wonderful music, empathy and contribution! Love from Italy!

[@Brooke_lux.vita.et.amor.]

Amen!!

[@jdguillot14]

The Marvin Gaye had me rolling 😂

[@jennypascoe1612]

My gosh Ren, I have Lyme and I'm in Australia where the government doesn't believe it exists. I sent my blood overseas for diagnosis and am being treated by an Australian Herbalist. I am so grateful I somehow stumbled across your work. Thank you from the bottom of my broken heart. 💛🌻

[@mstmy7082]

It's not that they don't believe Lyme disease exists, they just don't believe its contactable from Australian ticks. They seem to have based that on not finding the bacterium responsible in any ticks here in Australia. Not saying I agree with them because saying that none can have it if a few don't is a bit wierd, but that's their story and they're sticking to it I guess, lol

[@AndrewinAus]

Ren has definitely touched many hearts including my own. I am sorry that you seem to have been ignored by the medical establishment here in Australia. The accepted knowledge being that no ticks can carry the bacterium seems to be the norm. At least that is what I was taught way back when studying microbiology. The fact that very few seem to be capable of thinking it's a possibility is galling. I hope your treatment is going well.

[@theteanapper]

They say chronic Lyme doesn't exist here in a America also. I went to the ER with a Lyme rash and symptoms and they blew me off saying my age was too young to be sick. Here I am 8 years later worse and no one wants to help nor understand the stuff I deal with daily. I feel worse than a 90 yr old man.

[@Zalentsia]

Keep doing it and if you can start an awareness group for EVERYONE there!!!

[@ayararime3402]

I read your comment. Keep trust, you will end victorious. Thank you to have written. You are not alone. Real love from here.

[@NastyCrabcakes]

This was a whirlwind. Had me laughing in the first half. Empathizing with the panic attacks in the second half. Fortunately I've only had them a handful of times in my life, but I know very well how they feel. 💛

[@RenMakesStuff]

[@fanaccount4scumoflspmmmfd976]

​@@RenMakesStuff❤ hope you do song with Saigon

[@Tinkerbell9332]

Cyan, did you go awol from work?😂

[@NastyCrabcakes]

@Tinkerbell9332 no, I might when Troubles drops 🤣

[@Tinkerbell9332]

​@@NastyCrabcakes🤣🤣 I'm kinda lucky I work midnights 😂 Tomorrow's sounds interesting 😳

[@albamartinez4987]

Ren...do you know what would be nice? If you put all these chapters together and send them to all the doctors that were involved in misdiagnosing you or making you feel like a hypochondriac for all those years, if only to educate and maybe prevent the same happening to others. ❤

[@Phraeyah]

Should be part of the NHS training lol

[@BirgittHGer]

These doctors aren't reading Ren's story - they have so much important work to do - their time is too valuable. They all have a trash can under their desk and that's where these readings end up straight away! Sad - but true!

[@TalaAtTanagra]

Ren. Please, PLEASE don't stop talking about MEcfs. It's people like you who can actually get the rest of us some attention so we stop dying en masse. Much love, Ren!

[@Hexenkind1]

He will not. I can promise you that right now.

[@VaninaVlogs]

He will likely always talk about it, but I wouldn’t ask or expect him to…. He said in his first video, only in more words, that he doesn’t want to be the poster boy for it, doesn’t want to be the answer for it, etc. I have a chronic illness, and you sound like you do too? I know personally I don’t want to have to, be expected to, or be associated with my illness constantly. Throughout my life. I want a break from it in the verbal world, even though I will never be rid of the condition itself. Does that make sense?

[@TalaAtTanagra]

​​@@VaninaVlogs So, no one is asking him to be a poster-boy -and it makes sense why he wouldn't want to be, but there's a big difference between being a poster-boy and advocating for a cause. Chronic illness is horrible (and yes - I have several), but MEcfs is on another level. According to the NIH, it has a worse quality of life than untreated AIDS, MS, all cancers except a subtype of skin cancer, depression, COPD, stroke, heart attack, etc. Depending on the country, suicide is the 2nd or 3rd leading cause of death because it's so unbearable. Its nickname is the "living death." If you understood ME, you'd be agreeing with me. ETA: Plus, the ME community aleady has a poster-boy. If you'd like to learn about him, his name is Whitney Dafoe, and his father is one of the handful of scientists around the world who's doing research on the condition.

[@TalaAtTanagra]

​@@VaninaVlogsSo, there's a big difference between advocating and becoming a poster-boy. I don't think anyone would want him to be a poster-boy, as that would stifle his creativity. And yes, I have several chronic illnesses - but ME is a whole other level. NIH says it has a worse quality of life than *untreated* AIDS, cancer, MS, depression, COPD, stroke, heart disease, and pretty much every other disease in existence. Suicide is the 2nd or 3rd leading cause of death, depending on the country. It's got the lowest level of funding to disease burden in the world. It gets less research money than make pattern baldness - and a significant portion of sufferers are left to die by family because uneducated doctors still insist its psychosomatic. Even Ren said in a previous entry that "he has a responsibility" as one of the more high-functioning sufferers to bring attention to the issue. He's in a position to not just affect, but to save millions of lives.

[@Zalentsia]

I love what he already does, as he has the kit, thanks to the UK nhs I think that's enough. Try saying thank you and you altruistic all they do as a team ❤❤❤❤ They educate with **EVERY** post, video, etc etc, etc. that they do ❤❤❤❤ while being very ill 😢 of her was still under the NHS today, he would be left with nothing. England&Wales are in a very sorry state of affairs. You do realise that England voting to leave the EU has had a lot to do with this! Ask because you thought a blonde white muppet, with a few hands operating that muppet has got its into this place... right????? He is born in Wales, and if you haven't been there, you can't possibly understand the beauty yet poverty, unless you are rich or was a father getting eu grants. I lived there for 3 years in 1970s I went to primary school and had to learn Welsh and English. Then Germany for 3 years so had to learn German French and English for 3 years and so on 😆 My English is bad because I'm on my phone and can't see what I'm typing just hope it's right 😅 Stay safe and keep educating people your way. People will listen... I just did 😊

[@NiliG-wg6gd]

All mothering instincts screaming... Big hugs xx 🫂❤️

[@kellyt5341]

Same!!

[@thehangingparsiple5692]

Same

[@lizsolonenko]

Yes - he and my daughter are just a few days apart for birthdays - just an aching heart hearing Ren talk about what he has had to live with all these years ❤️

[@taurusclubgaming5919]

Same here ❤

[@VivBrodock]

I empathize so much with the inability to fully articulate exactly what is going on. most days I felt nothing at all, like I stopped being human and became a flesh automata, carrying out a prebuilt set of instructions for no particular reason at all, mimicking human emotions so that I didn't cause a fuss for other people. when most people say they are depressed they mean sad but I wished I could feel sad.

[@Efflife.2]

💯💯💯👏👏👏 bpd'er here ... I feel ya

[@francesdoll4039]

Panic attack landed me in emergency for the weekend. Led to open heart surgery. Know well that feeling. Know that separate feeling in self harm as well. That was 2004. This is the first time i said it out loud...ever.

[@JoRiceRenegade4Eva]

Big loves to you Frances ❤ Speaking pain out loud is freeing, I hope it is for you as it is for Ren xxx

[@kellyt5341]

He is so healing.....🤗

[@ClearTheRubble7]

Gifted storytellers, minstrels and bards have an almost shamanic power. Their truth-telling and ability to take their listeners along with them on heroic quests through light and dark realms has great healing power. That said, you are one of the best storytellers I've ever heard!

[@DanDLion222]

❤👁👂🙏🥁

[@Katie-k2l9n]

“I felt disappointed”. That speaks volumes.

[@tomothywalker]

Can you imagine a record company allowing anyone to be this candid and raw? Ren’s story is not unique, though industries have brainwashed the masses, and themselves, into believing that only perfection sells. Perfection is an illusion. Reality saves.

[@AidyShaw]

To me, this really is perfection though, an attested aim, vulnerability, humour and truth. It is beyond the thoughts and ideas of a record company.

[@DeJay7]

In a sense, at least how I see it, because perfection realistically doesn't exist, coming close (but still far) to perfection but being fake is just disappointing. Therefore, the more real one is, the more perfect they are. And I would argue Ren is purely real, and therefore absolutely perfect in what he's doing.

[@Talia7722]

Thank you Ren, the work you are doing here is absolutely beautiful. So so much love, we know how hard this is for you to have to do, but it is literal miracle work 🙏❤️ thank you.

[@rowanelessar5892]

Seconded.

[@kiwi4juss]

I’d like to send your mum a hug, I know as a mum having to watch your child suffer in pain and not being able to take it away. But you keep moving forward. I know she’s proud of you because you’re changing lives.

[@BirgittHGer]

Your story is like your music: Profound words, sometimes brutally honest - sometimes peppered with your great humor. With your music there's also this cool sound, you really want to move to it and then you hear the lyrics. Damn Ren - you always get me😂🥹😂👏🥹👍😂🤝🥹🙋‍♀️❤️

[@giafogg7182]

"Hold On" is one of my favorite songs. I was diagnosed with Celiac disease twenty odd years ago (before gluten free was all the rage). I still deal with doubters and people not taking me seriously. I don't have an allergy to gluten, I have an autoimmune disease. Gluten wrecks havoc on my system. It turns my insides into open sores and prevents my body from absorbing the nutrients it needs to live. I was extremely sick before finally being diagnosed. Fortunately, I work hard at being careful with what goes into my body but nothing is absolute. I strongly relate to your comment regarding feeling good one day then taking three days to rest up from it afterwards (I'm paraphrasing). I've learned to just say f**k it and be good to myself and take the time I need to recover. I'm getting older and want to keep doing so. 😊 Thank you for everything. The sharing, the music, and your Angels. Love it all. 💕

[@paulamarkx3564]

Is that what the song is called at the end of chapter4 "Hold On"

[@mirella1]

It is unbelievable how much pain one single person can bear. This amount should last for multiple lives. You have reached so much wisdom already in your young age that there will be no need for an reincarnation. We all can learn so much from you. Thank you for sharing your experiences and your knowledge.

[@rudyb.]

When your “Sick Boi” album hit No. #1 in the UK charts and the video that showed you crying for joy…I now really really feel the validation you seek. The disease that brought you misery is mostly memory now. Ren, continue to make music.

[@kellyt5341]

Beautiful..🤗

[@sammig0203]

Ordered on every platform I buy music on. Thank you, as always, for bearing your soul to the world. We are so blessed that you survived, and that you’re still here to tell us your story. It’s becoming more obvious every day why God (with your bravery and tenacity) has kept you here. We needed you. We love you, Ren! ❤

[@whitneyrivero5365]

I've never related to an artist more. You are an angel. So glad you are here

[@scamoart3096]

and you are shining again dear Ren〰🖤

[@FuturesPast1]

I have severe panic disorder, anxiety, C-PTSD and Derealization is the worst feeling in the world. I appreciate the way you described it. It feels like your soul left your body and left you in a automated shell of a body that just barely functions by instinct only. You feel emotionally numb and panic even more worrying if you will stay this way forever. Everything around you does not feel real and even looks odd and distorted. It is like a nightmare filled with doom and gloom you cannot wake up from. Did you ever see the painting of the melted clocks by Salvador Dali? Everything around you feels so bizarre and you will do anything just to snap out of it to feel real again. I was freaking out in my therapist's office saying everything in the room did not seem real and I did not feel like I was in my own body. I told him I felt like my head was like a balloon and it was floating away from my body. He picked up a tape dispenser and ripped a piece of tape off and handed it to me. He told me that by feeling the stickiness of the tape it would make me feel real again. I rolled it up into a ball and threw it on the floor and broke down knowing that they just do not understand how to help us. I do not remember driving home that day. The only thing I remember is having to pull over on the side of the road a couple of times to throw up from being so panic stricken and sick to my stomach from these feelings. As I was throwing up, it felt like I was trying to purge my body of this illness. I felt instant relief, but it was short lived.

[@michaelphipps8647]

The USA, is patiently waiting on you Ren!!!

[@TanyaQueen182]

Thank you. 💜💜💜

[@DebapriyaMaitra]

Love you Ren, glad you held on ❤‍🩹

[@KitelessThirteen]

I’ve been living with a brain infection (reactivated viruses) for four years now and your description of the shard of glass took my breath away because that’s exactly how I’ve been feeling for the last few months. I never imagined someone else could feel like this. I’m so sorry for what you’ve had to go through man. You’re so strong.

[@alexxswanson1766]

You are not alone in this feeling. Always remember, "this too shall pass" and allow yourself grace.

[@KitelessThirteen]

@@alexxswanson1766thank you so much mate, this is so kind of you to say. And you’re right - since writing this comment it’s been much better. I wish you all the best

[@sejbomb]

That thought process of going through absolute hell, but not wanting to worry anyone else around you, so relatable. 😢

[@adrienne1958l]

So important to tell his story. As a person who has lived with a chronic illness that hasn't been diagnosed, knowing that awareness is being spread is comforting . Throughout the years i have taken up , and given up the fight many times . I mostly live in silence. Except for the moments when i just can't physically abide . Those are the moments when I am emotionally overwhelmed. To be honest, because I am 65 years old I believe that i will pass never having discovered what has happened to me . Thank you Ren ❤

[@Veeliscious]

I had never understood self-harm until one time when i had been going through a prolonged traumatic period in my life and, unable to smash my head theough a glass door in frustration, I smashed a wine glass over my head, and the blood quickly began to pour down my face and at last I felt a release of some of the internal pressure and a visual representation of all that hidden pain within that words and tears seemed to fail to adequately express

[@Efflife.2]

I feel ya, I have a massive scar on my arm from a piece of thick fishtank glass..

[@TatjanaTomljenovic]

Imala sam napade panike nakon dvije smrti u obitelji, pila sam Normabel(Diazepam) a onda sa, čula tvoju pjesmu Diazepam i odbacila sam ga .Već godinu i pol ne uzimam ništa,samo pratim tvoju glazbi u sve što uz nju ide, Hvala ti Ren,na predivnoj glazbi.I ovome što tebe pati.Žao mi je ali imaš ti snage da se boriš.Valjda će i tebi jednom biti bolje.

[@staceyjayneplatt9527]

God love you Ren and love that you find humour in the darkest moments.A Fellow Brit who makes me proud to be British 🇬🇧. Ren you are moving mountains and opening hearts 🙏🙏❤️💙🇬🇧

[@kloii]

From someone else who (in a very different way) has also gone through inordinate amounts of suffering in their life, I see you. I see you and I see how you just keep going, no matter what. I'm so proud of you. Keep at it. Trust your path. It will bring you exactly where you are meant to go. Eventually, we find the key. And when we do, we start shedding that suffering like an old skin. I see you. I see where you are heading. And it's more beautiful than anything you could ever imagine for yourself ❤ PS: keep trusting the synchronicities 😉

[@tayaa4846]

There were many times that hurting myself was the only way to feel connected with my body. I can absolutely relate to that between derealization and simply feeling like I needed something that I could control. I’m on the edge of medical burnout again as I continue to be told that doctors don’t have anything to say or guidance to give. I finally have someone willing to order imaging for my spine and hoping that will be the key to better quality of life…but I’m also cautiously approaching it because it is devastating when something that gave hope doesn’t help. Thank you for sharing and being vulnerable…the relatability and not being alone means so much as you know. ❤

[@_raumplaner6575]

I love your old songs so much. Hope they get the attention they deserve by this series

[@TheEverydayPoet]

When someone dear to me experienced a medical blow, I told him I trusted he would "cope or conquer". He later told me those words gave him heart and became his mantra. It's through your words and everything involved with them that you're catalyzing needed healings in all of us, Ren, including spiritual ones. It's a communal POWER.

[@Celeste-in-Oz]

Completing each of these chapters with a song, turns a riveting monologue into creative gold ⚱️

[@milagrosmendez77]

Thank you Ren for trusting us with your story. Much respect to you. You have been through so much and yet kept on going. Your story is helping so many I’m sure. Your music has helped me so much when my heart was shattered when my son was taken from me. And also when I feel my body has decided to rebel against me being 49 and feeling 90 most days. Panic attacks sent me to hospital thinking it was a heart attack also. I suffer them daily and it’s horrible. I isolate most of my days. Sending you love. ❤️

[@dimitrasotirakoglou2553]

As the story continues i find my self inside some parts of your story and that really helps me! I appreciate you very much for that ❤

[@iamsquatty]

Ren, just the fact you can still find humor in your experiences is amazing💜💜

[@Shiroar]

You sure know how to make sure we’ll be there for the next chapters. Renny boy you’re such a tease 🤣 Seriously though, thank you for sharing all this ❤️🐰🕳️

[@LuisEduardoSampaio]

Very nice. Thank you for this

[@Conniejoy6168]

Fascinating. 🖤

[@kristofgaillet1474]

bonjour de la France Ren, merci de te livrer ainsi, tu es une personne sincère et vraie. Merci pour ton art et l'amour que tu nous envoi à travers.

[@harmkeryan5144]

Through your words and music I feel like I can understand the struggles my mum has gone through for 40 years even just a little bit.. and hopefully support her better. thank you for sharing with us, must be difficult to give a piece of yourself away. Just know that you are giving us some pieces extra

[@Hailstarr86]

I have taken much from the first half of your story already. Brought me tears, laughter, intrigue & hope already 💖 Don't worry Ren even if the Dr never called... Hell always be in your...... Heart 💞😁

[@a.shaeoconnell798]

my heart dropped when you said you got the piece of glass from the tv. i'm glad that, at least from my perspective, you're in a better world than you were in then- though i wish it was a better world, still. best of worlds to you, ren.

[@Efflife.2]

I once opened my arm up with a piece of glass from a fishtank after an explosive episode. I felt that alot. I am on that many tablets and have this disrealisation

[@allisonal]

Speaking of mitochondria and the learned people of the world, I find it amazing that it was only quite recently that scientists realized there were distinct lipid-associated mitochondria, with their own important functions. I guess previously, scientists had just assumed it was fine to discard the fat from their samples as an initial processing step. And as another example, the study of the microbiome has neglected fungal species, not because they’re not potentially important, but simply because it wasn’t until recently that scientists developed the tools to study them effectively. Couple those improvements with advances in microscopic imaging techniques, and I really hope the people of the future don’t have to go through all Ren went through to get a proper diagnosis and treatments.

[@kerrianderson2954]

Never loved a stranger before but your an inspiration......my 21 Yr old has a rare Epilepsy condition that took a long time to diagnosis, a life of medical uncertainly is a tough journey ❤

[@nrsvlda70]

Thank-you Ren, for continuing to share your story; I’m certain it’s helping many who are struggling along with you. Sending Gma hugs your way!

[@MoreKellBellPlease]

All I can say is thank you over and over.

[@michaelpodgorski1692]

I wish i could find the words to say what i want to, but I'm unable to. It's a complex feeling. I lack the strength and heart you do. I'm crawling, hopefully to a cure. I've spent my whole life (even as a personal trainer out of high school) with a body that did not produce testosterone. It went undiagnosed until i told my doctor i was about to start taking T, to see if it helped. He ran the test. At 28, my leveled after being on it for half a year were 134. At that age, a healthy person would have up to 800+. There are many other ailments i possess, but it is this testosterone that i feel is the key to truly start healing. If only my body would take to it. Right now the little i get my body turns to estrogen, but my doctor is adamant we can find improvement, even if there isn't a perfection (a boy who went through puberty without testosterone has lots of fails that can't exactly be fixed, even when levels are restored.) But your story, while immediately fills me with some shame for being so weak, it also gives me hope, and helps motivate me to give it my all, even when my all for that day is just surviving until i next sleep.

[@troydruckenmiller1751]

You are one amazing dude. It is amazing how you have made it.

[@LeeDenby-d2b]

Used to have panic attacks myself when i was around 17 up until my lates 20s . The first time i had 1 i thought i was going to die . I could feel it inside building up and up it felt like my heart was going to explode or just stop and massive overwhelming feeling of feer for no reason at all i was just laid in bed ,it came out of nowhere. Nothing to what ren went through and is sill going through But it was scary none the less

[@annanimity2034]

I have been there. I lost my best friend, my health and my mother and grandmother. I got help and I'm on the mend. Sending love and healing to you.

[@rudyb.]

BTW, an Arizona Renegade here. Love your “Coolidge Bears” TShirt!

[@davemannn]

Chicago Renegade here...that shirt is 🔥

[@goanna2012]

Can’t believe it you there , please come to Australia to wake the sheep up ,just found you and your the best ever 😮😊😂❤❤❤❤❤❤😊

[@essencesofgaia7491]

Here's to new levels of health, and new beginnings!! 🥰💜

[@loganfox5534]

Your description of derealization and self harm is so spot on. I’ve experienced it for most of my life. I go through periods where I don’t feel that, and I haven’t self harmed for many years. But it does come back every once in a while. Thank you so much for shining a light on mental and physical health.

[@MissMeKate]

Thank you for telling your story. The story too many of us have lived invisibly for too long. "Thank you" isn't enough, either for your music or your advocacy, but it's all I have left to give. ❤

[@fifiroxy]

Thank you for doing this ❤. It means a lot and I can imagine it must be difficult to be this open to the world. I appreciate the way you describe self-harm. I (used to) have issues with this and also with two autoimmune diseases (the self-harm and the diseases aren't really related to each other like they were, in a way, with you). Again; thank you for being this open en sharing in your own words, 💞.

[@joeminer559]

I appreciate you coming out of your shell, to deeply explain what many individuals will never quite grasp. You don’t let anything harsh your mellow and articulate topics extremely well. For those who suffer. Never Give Up. The music you create, resonates throughout the world. Music Heals, Thank you 🙏🏻 @RenmakesStuff ❤

[@petraradosevic4123]

I actually have no words for these chapters. You are such a fighter and you are winning this! ❤

[@katinka4288]

its crazy to me that you teach yourself the knowledge of a half doctor examina. And first and foremost that you even had to do that as the only way out of that situation. You are a very strong person and we are very lucky that you are still with us. Much love ❤

[@courtneycross8593]

I have always wanted to write down the past 7 years of my life to give to my children so they could understand me a lil a better when they are older, I think il just send them here to your journey the ME and panic the googling the whole journey

[@nina_kai]

Seeing so much solidarity amongst your followers is so inspiring. You really have cast light and hope into the darkness … just as you intended 🙏🏻

[@Mordecainen]

Thank you for sharing your story ❤ the hardships have made you who you are ...a shining 💎

[@belgand5555]

Thank you for your words and thoughts… you are relatable and not alone ever… we love you… ❤️❤️❤️xx

[@kellyt5341]

..💯🤗

[@Summeriz19..]

Words escape me, although a multitude of feelings envelop me. Dear Ren, you have my respect, love, and support, whatever I can offer is yours. Thank you for your magical talent and inspiring acts of education and support you offer to us all. ♥️ Sending you strength, blessings, and vibrant Health, Lizzie

[@janiceN4Nugs]

Love the fact your jeans have holes to suit the music at end. Unsure if planned but well fitted

[@kellyt5341]

Absolutely it was planned..."holes in these jeans.....Hold On". The first time I have ever seen him wear a pair of ripped jeans...it set the mood for "Hold on".

[@Deeb390]

Your humour and hope in the face of all this, shines through. Panic attacks have plagued me, on and off, for many years and your description is spot on. Please take care and thank you for being yourself and being honest. We love you, Ren.

[@dianamariamusica]

Thank you for sharing your story Ren! It motivates me a lot to launch my own art into the universe to see what happens, despite all the pain I’ve also felt. Thank you for inspiring others to create and share their stories! I think this is the most powerful thing an artist can do, create to help others create ❤❤❤

[@staceydavidson8212]

I relate to your story more than I would want to, because I wouldn't want anyone else to have lived with the same level of pain and suffering. Sharing your story is holding a light out for the hopeless, broken and wounded. Higher purpose indeed ❤️🖤❤️🔥🙏🏻

[@KristinPedemonti]

Sharing your lived experiences is powerful and healing. May you know what a difference you are making.❤🖤

[@holliemercer]

I love watching you and hearing your story. Thank you for sharing.

[@MePrettyThing]

Thanks REN, you help to calm me, help me take a breathe & think Sometimes my minds just fucking racing, your songs are constant for me & I still find more that lightens me ❤

[@quarksandatoms]

thank you for everything you're doing... and your charisma carries this videos tough subjects with a great energy. thank you. I'm 23 and living at home with my mum rn, and it's because im sick... not broke and lazy... and this reminds me i'm not alone.

[@hathorearthfyre]

Coupling your story with a song written during the time is very impactful and gives more insight into how you felt when you wrote them. Love and hugs 🎸🎼🌿

[@kellyt5341]

...💯

[@michellepower6765]

As with every single other person on this post , every single person who follows you, and more so those lucky enough to know you personally, I wish I could take it away from you, even for a day , you’ve already in the 4 short years I’ve followed you and your music, saved me from some dark times and places. Literally, some of your music found me with pills in one hand and drink in the other … but your words stayed my hand and broke into my heart forever xx Thank you … ❤

[@kellyt5341]

...💯

[@lajoyous1568]

Thank you Ren for everything you do 😁 I wish the road wasn't so difficult or the journey so long, but I'm glad it got you here to us ❤

[@slicerjohn1897]

I hope others who are travelling on the same path you have walked find your story and know there is hope ❤️👍.

[@megm38]

You are definitely a storyteller. I knew that by listening to your music, but you're a spoken word storyteller as well. Thank you for sharing! Hugs and big love!

[@lowkeyviben]

so grateful for these videos and your music. lost my best friend to drinking and driving in high school. been detached ever since. 15 years later cant escape the symptoms you describe now- depression, anxiety, fatigue, head spinning ears ringing. and now benzo dependence. the thought of my parents and sister keep me alive. gotta be a light at the end of the tunnel. keep doing what youre doing its saving lives and sanity. much love bro

[@heatherjane910]

…and we’re back! ♥️

[@Man_of_Tears]

Feeling worse than an 82 year old at age of 26 is something I'm familiar with. I'm glad this story exists. To be honest, it's as if I hear myself talking

[@theresashadwell9060]

Your story of your life heartbreaking and and yet i know theres a phoenix rising out of the ashes story coming too you're truly inspirational and that song 🔥

[@WilliamButler-jc5xw]

Love how open you are being about this!! Please continue to share your story it is helping us all even if we don’t have anything wrong. I wish you all the best man and continued good health!!

[@rexrogers1859]

Thank you, Ren. ✌️🙏

[@bridgetrendall402]

I really hope by writing and then talking about your journey will help you, it’s helping many others! Your words do make me chuckle at times - I love that you challenge your thinking style and through humour still manage to get the story out 😂 Dr Mike Evans has a YT video embedded in the HOPE program I am trying to follow. He says ‘The act of giving coherence and creating your own personal narrative to stressful events in a letter can be an effective way of negating the stress of those events.’

[@lunarobinson5837]

Thank you for shining a light on ME and sharing your story. Many people in the limelight would turn their backs on us.

[@MiracleTaj]

Absolutely enjoying these stories and the introduction to some of Ren’s songs I hadn’t come across before!!! Love the throwback 😅 👏✨👑✨🙌

[@carl2488]

Completely amazing Ren. Can't tell you how validated I feel by this series. I feel a sense of empowerment I haven't felt for ages that some of experiences are being represented by someone prominent. Thank you.

[@melaniel9620]

I hope you get everything you want and enjoy the rest of your life ❤

[@Hexenkind1]

This one was so fast paced. I couldn't really process one feeling while the next thing was already coming in. After that the first thing I was thinking was: The mere fact that you are still alive is a miracle. Thank you for holding on. ❤‍🩹

[@christinekeown5873]

Your story makes a old nurse cry! And all those beautiful comments, wow! BLESS YOU

[@leclanchebreitenbach948]

Listened to Hold on 10000 times. It hit different this time.

[@margaretburton5017]

Massive respect and love to you, ❤❤❤

[@bethanyblackburn9967]

Love love love this!!!! Thanks for speaking about such personal details and heartbreaking ways chronic illness affects our daily lives!!!! ❤

[@katherineemmusik]

You have no clue how much your story touches me. Don’t know you, but love you so much ❤