Reviewing Colleen Ballinger's Apology Song

It's technically music.
Ludwig's video: • This is the worst apol...
Philip DeFranco's video: • MrBeast Almost Died, W...
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[@mrhanekoma86]

Andrew Tate practicing the Ukulele as we speak.

[@mdragon5536]

💀

[@Hydrolysis_Moment]

All the strings are tuned to G

[@daniellavaladez7820]

LMAO

[@williammoyle1385]

​@@Hydrolysis_Moment💀💀

[@josephtafur]

Oh god, please no

[@samatkinson3436]

Im not a felon, im just a melon

[@username-1999]

heat

[@my-spinning-wheel]

Bars

[@woongielovebot7089]

🔥✍️🔥

[@hellothere6927]

🔥

[@andreborba]

Next YWN Melly verse

[@minecraftjunky2001]

This is possibly the greatest act self-sabotage ever. Millions of people who had no clue who she was will now forever remember her for this and only this

[@oliver-04]

Most people knew who she was, just not what she did

[@henrykillinger9533]

​@@oliver-04 "most people"? This isn't serious right? What did you poll your friend group for this statistic?

[@oliver-04]

@@henrykillinger9533 she was insanely popular back in the day, you’re too young for the Golden age of KZbin

[@aliskprado]

@@oliver-04 I had no clue this person existed before this "apology" song.

[@coconuts7960]

@@oliver-04 alright so i was born during the "Golden age of KZbin" as you wanna call it to add random importance to your own life that isn't there and yea I knew about her in the slightest sense but like henry called out MOST people is a delusional statement. I could go to every single one of my friends and show them a picture and they would go "eh ig i remember" and we grew up in her peak popularity. MOST people have zero clue of who she is her target demographic was prob a 5 year range around 13-18 thats not a whole lot of people in the grand scheme of things let alone those who actually watched her or remember who she is.

[@twalker5801]

She effectively communicates 3 points. 1: The victims are lying. 2: But she actually did do the bad stuff, it just doesn’t make her a bad person, as proven by the ukulele! 3: She is “taking accountability” by blaming everyone else.

[@billbill6094]

Don't forget: 4. Everyone is just using buzzwords to hate on me. 5. Please please please don't look up what I actually did, just believe the chorus and listen to me not respond to one actual allegation. 6. Guys I'm really sad you keep mentioning I made those kids uncomfortable as a 30 year old, including sending my underwear to someone's child.

[@207humanity]

That sounds like a textbook narcissist. Deflection and denial is what these type of people do, when they’re confronted for their own actions.

[@click_beatty]

Narcissism, hunner fiffy mall nair. The chorus ain't bad. What a waste

[@dawsond4123]

Guys, those victims were lying! But I did actually do it. But they’re lying guys! But I’m also taking accountability. But th-

[@fernandozavaletabustos205]

7. I am a one trick pony with the ukulele

[@neverknowsbest1717]

As a theatre kid, i think perhaps its time to oppress theatre kids

[@SidV101]

Maybe the bullies were onto something after all

[@sora1498]

when did we stop oppressing theatre kids

[@lunaa8831]

help XD

[@dradenlol8667]

Didn’t realize that had ever stopped happening lmao (I was the bully) (then I joined drama and loved it)

[@sabahk]

fr no wonder ppl hate us, wtf is this shit😭

[@alwkw3783]

I feel like if she wasn't "famous" she'd be one of those middle school teachers you hear of on the news who got arrested for an inappropriate relationship with a student.

[@thecaptain6520]

And dudes would be like "Woah, that kid was lucky"

[@thenablade858]

@@thecaptain6520 Every middle-aged father of 3 in the Daily Mail comments: ‘I wish I had a teacher like that’

[@Undeniably_Asher]

@@thecaptain6520yeah, happened at a high school people I know went to and that was what a lot of people said 🤮 I was pretty alone in thinking it was disgusting and the boys (there were more than one) were victims who would have a lot of trauma to unpack.

[@Remedy462]

Buh..buh...buh...they're more mature than their age and we're in love!!!!!

[@ashwin2k]

Inappropriate relationship if it's a woman teacher, assault if it's a male teacher

[@RobbieLugos]

I’m not a rapist. I’m just a bassist.

[@boogeyperson316]

ABAR All Bassists Are Rapists

[@xtra_krispy693]

"Im not a rapper nor a rapist or a racist"

[@justaghostinthesea]

​​@@boogeyperson316 ACKBAR It's a trap!

[@nightwalkerj]

"Im not your friend, you're not my friend." I respect that. Thank you for being honest.

[@DGlesterHadunkichud]

On my computer after he said that he winked and said "sike" to me specifically.

[@Kadenpng]

“I’m not a groomer, just a loser” don’t sell yourself short colleen, you’re both! 🥰

[@RacingSnails64]

Lol yeah. Of all the alternative words she could have picked, "loser" was the last thing on my mind lol.

[@sucharithavavil6860]

She's stealing sza's lyrics from 'special' and making em worse

[@POPDATA]

Boo

[@semper_music]

@@sucharithavavil6860oh my god I knew it sounded familiar

[@korndud]

Do ppl not know what a groomer is? What she did was inappropriate, but it wasn't grooming. She wasn't prepping them to have sex with them or date them.

[@HeroicPenguin]

What Anthony fails to understand is that Colleen is a creative, and sometimes creatives feel the need to musically demolish their careers and social lives.

[@donovan4222]

Me and the boys are hopping on the toxic gossip train

[@BonJoviBeatlesLedZep]

She's a creative? Could have fooled me.

[@Bubaiel]

Had me in the first half ngl

[@ninjaFootball6]

😭

[@TrackpadProductions]

What's kind of sickening is that, if you ignore the context of everything she's saying... it's actually a pretty good song. It's pretty well constructed; the rhyme scheme and meter flows pretty well, and the chorus is, even I have to admit... kind of an earworm. Not to mention - she hits. Every. Single. One. Of the most popular and effective manipulation tactics these people use. Pretending to turn off the camera, preemptively saying that people will call her manipulative to stave off criticism for it, calling her actions "weird" instead of anything actually self-critical, thanking her supporters for "being there for her" to create an facade of vulnerability... and the, let's be honest, not half-bad acting. It's honestly kind of scary how effective this would probably be if you were already on her side.

[@rachelmacdonald3256]

She couldn't even write enough lyrics to get her to the 10 minute monetization mark lol. She made us listen to that damn chorus a million times.

[@Sweet_Dee]

Colleen's PR team discovering this musical atrocity like: 👁️ 👄 👁️ The way I'd quit, leave the country, and change my name

[@emberblaze2459]

It's past their bed time

[@LunaBey777]

This has to be the most insincere and condescending apology I’ve ever seen on the internet.

[@caseyw.6550]

Girly is PISSED. The passive aggressiveness is off the charts!

[@p0werfu11]

Aren't almost all apologies like this? Something is better than nothing. I don't think my parents ever apologized to me.

[@caseyw.6550]

@p0werfu11 This is way worse than nothing. Nothing would have been better. Sorry about your parents!

[@Vynzent]

​@@p0werfu11No, something isn't always better than nothing.

[@seonghyeoncho6003]

@@Vynzent i would argue that this passive aggressive song significantly worsened how the public sees her, in addition to bringing more attention towards her situation because this is just so goofy bruh 😭😭

[@whoobastank8616]

If she played a keytar I would've accepted her apology

[@ItDoesntMatterReally]

What if it were still a uke, BUT she had a piano keys tie on the neck of it?

[@CadChamberlain]

otamatone apology

[@MrYowen88]

I’d watch a zither based apology video.

[@dipper7373]

Nah melodica apologies are where it's at 😎 🔥 💯

[@Vexas345]

Truth. You can't be a villain and play the keytar. I'm pretty sure you'd actually burst into flames if you were to pick one up while having darkness in the heart. Kind of like a cross, but not make-believe.

[@davedavis1755]

Could you imagine if some guy on "To Catch A Predator" gets busted by Chris Hansen, and when he asks the line: "Well if there anything else you would like to say, we'd like to hear it?", the dude pulls out a ukulele and starts singing "Toxic Gossip Train" for like 10 minutes?!

[@luancervantes6124]

hello there mister, I'm here to let you know such scenario actually did kinda happen... somewhat Stephen Coates was arrested during the Riverside, California sting, this guy was a musician before and continued to make music after TCAP (of course he had to kinda change his name to Stephen GC) and in his last musical effort he released a song called Thought Crime where he's basically framing his experience chatting up a 14 year old child as some kind of "1984 the government is listening to you" kinda way. check it out, it's batshit insane.

[@davedavis1755]

​@@luancervantes6124 Thank you, I definitely will!!!

[@Tw0Dots]

@@luancervantes6124thanks for the info dude 😂 i gotta see this bs

[@kmonti1]

​@@luancervantes6124 Ugh, Stephen Coates is truly insufferable. He's one of the busybody predators responsible for getting KZbin to take a lot of TCAP-related content down for """""""harassment""""""" (i.e., commentary on their crimes and read-alouds of their own chatlogs). Thank you for spreading awareness 😂 He's awful and more people need to know

[@iheartruby01]

everyone agreeing that her apology video and her are both horrible is the closest we are getting to world peace

[@TheTELproductions]

Exposing people who act like she did definitely gets us closer in the long run lol

[@Jul_Italia]

​@@borutokawaki-cv2flShe's a groomer, she deserves it

[@iheartruby01]

@@borutokawaki-cv2fl yes she is?? there r many screenshots to prove it

[@billclockwell]

Like the hbo velma show, she is the great unifier

[@Homer_Noobson]

​@@borutokawaki-cv2flNext time eat a salad.

[@Lil_Lobotomy69]

SHE NEEDS TO APOLOGIZE FOR THIS SONG NEXT 🗣️ 🔥🔥🔥

[@NelStone1]

With another song! Creating an endless cycle...

[@Joe90h]

@@NelStone1 I'd say each time she uses a more heinous instrument, but she hasn't left much wiggle room with the Ukelele off the bat.

[@RhinoHorn7]

@@Joe90h There's still a harmonica, drums, a trombone, a recorder, a whistle, bagpipes, and more, surely.

[@NelStone1]

@@Joe90h "Accordion Apology 15 Minutes"

[@Duck-de9dw]

@@RhinoHorn7i wish this would happen just to see how she would handle making an apology while playing a wind instrument

[@theonlysuperduper12]

Colleen: "Don't monetize my demise." Also Colleen: *monetizes her demise*

[@badgasaurus4211]

Badum tsss…

[@quarklot]

Jokes writing themselves

[@jamesmiller3824]

I got an ad right after that line 😂

[@PaulBenjaminJenkins]

Makes sure video is just over 10 mins so she cashes in as much as she can… 😂

[@TheoCynical]

Think her vid’s reached 7.8Mil so…damn

[@estellemariexo]

Colleen: MirandaSings is PG-13 and always has been Also Colleen: Attends Nickelodeon Kid’s Choice Awards as MirandaSings

[@nevadanate4957]

Not only that, there is proof out there that her website didn't say pg-13 until 2018. And on top of that, worth pointing out that most of her victims were over 13 anyway

[@DissedRedEngie]

​@@nevadanate4957also, 13 year olds are still CHILDREN.

[@KalCounty]

"I may have acted really inappropriate with children I didn't know on multiple occasions, but the worse crime is you guys being mean to me about it."

[@lexysaccount]

Colleen : sends her panties to a 13 yr old fan boy at 30 Colleen : ALL ABOARD THE TOXIC GOSSIP TRAIN

[@allend1982]

Ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh.

[@hillelkita2354]

I have never seen the word "abourd" spelled out, I always thought it was "aboard"

[@k_schreibz]

It's also hilarious when she was like "That was 6 years ago, I've grown since then and learned it's not okay to be friends with fans who are minors" ??? Girl you are the 36, 6 years ago you were fucking 30 lmao

[@shepardice3775]

​@@k_schreibzShe doesn't even have the excuse of starting KZbin when she was super young and poorly adjusted like most content creators. Her online career started when she was in her 20s after graduating college lol. Not that people in their 20s aren't often barely more mature than teenagers, but she doesn't have the excuse of her formative years being disrupted by her online fame.

[@k_schreibz]

@@shepardice3775 Yeah it's a crazy excuse, by the time your in your mid-late 20s and early 30s, the "I was young and didnt know any better!!" excuse goes out the window.

[@zaystation.]

Vote melon 2024

[@InkAndPoet]

Where can I find them saying they told her not to do this?

[@amanmaratha10]

@@InkAndPoetshe said it in her song lmao

[@woongielovebot7089]

the first verse, too lmao

[@Joe90h]

I had heard there was a controversy regarding a channel I'd never engaged with, and I didn't engage with this information because I was neither qualified or interested. Now I know Miranda Sings/Colleen Ballinger as the woman who did the ukelele gaslighting song.

[@shovelhead4201]

​@@InkAndPoet A little over a minute into her song. The first spoken part goes: "Hi everyone, I've been wanting to come online and talk to you about a few things. Even though my team has strongly advised me to not say what I want to say, I recently realized they never said that I couldn't *sing* what I want to say." That's why it's a ukulele jam instead of a normal deflection

[@axelbruv]

It’s very confusing. One moment she’s saying she made a mistake, and the next she’s saying the allegations are all lies.

[@theboogeyman2590]

Shes trying to do that thing where she admits to one thing (texting kids) to release herself from harsher consequences and so the lie seems more realistic. “I DID text kids so sorry for that, but I didn’t groom them” type shit

[@umjammerlammy9993]

I love when toxic or harmful people say deliberated decisions and statements are mistakes. A mistake is rear ending someone because you took your eyes off the road for a moment, not grooming minors

[@umjammerlammy9993]

“Hey guys, I had a moment of weakness and made a mistake when I said trans people are all sex offenders, solicited pornography from minors, and killed someone on a cocaine bender” man I don’t think those are mistakes

[@umjammerlammy9993]

Like, confiscating the word “mistake” from celebrities

[@PuddleBurger]

I love how she plays both sides. "I didn't do anything wrong, it's all rumors guys" followed by "it's ok we all make mistakes we're all human". No admittance for wrongdoing followed by her forgiving herself for wrongdoing that apparently never happened. Also, the comment she made about knowing what the comments are going to be like, they'll say she's gaslighting and lying. THAT'S CAUSE YOU ARE rofl... smh

[@boogeyperson316]

She is gaslighting them by claiming that they would claim that she is gonna gaslight them.... Gaslight-ception.

[@Cdr2002]

Fucking centrists

[@TreseanDaise-bj2dt]

“We shouldn’t have let white people from my generation touch the ukulele” I died 😂😂

[@kurtadams9740]

She's jewish

[@CrazyBeatlesFanatic]

But then there would be no music for tech commercials or people shilling drop-shipped crap from China.

[@Dezzreck]

@@kurtadams9740and white

[@captaintoast4675]

​@@kurtadams9740...and?

[@malikjohnson8459]

​@@kurtadams9740that's white💀

[@overlookers]

the ukulele community may never recover

[@larryinc64]

they deserve it

[@TheNinja94a]

@@larryinc64 I have my problems with the ukulele community but no one deserves this. Thank God she didn't freestyle on a synthesizer or bass or I'd be fucked.

[@fauxcommander]

@@TheNinja94almao can you fucking imagine it tho 😅

[@gulermo]

good

[@TheNinja94a]

@@fauxcommander my apology video for eating my roommates’ pet rat alive will include me sampling jazz records into a hip-hop beat while rapping about how he deserved it for never doing the dishes

[@SharkOfTheRedSea]

Remember, she had to think about how to apologize, write the song, practice it, hit record on camera, watch the recording and upload the video, there wasn't much stopping her from making this decision

[@rawbebaba]

I feel like if Ghislaine Maxwell had just grabbed a ouekelle and did a "yall is actually toxic" song she would be a free women right now

[@Squidward_Tikiland]

I hear jizzlane maxwell, i laugh. Tim Dillon rocks!

[@rawbebaba]

@@Squidward_Tikiland Tim Dillon probably stole that from the podcast True Anon

[@lordfatcock]

This isn't a apology. Look how smug she's being. This is a diss track to the people accusing her and shes acting like this is some petty drama about her farting or something.

[@ovahlord1451]

This is the white girl's "Hit em up"

[@V4Lanz]

@@ovahlord1451 sheeeeshh hahahaha

[@TheLuckster]

i would've forgiven her if it was called "to pimp an apology"

[@dreadlord1265]

Same

[@mikejohnston8275]

Actually like that for a song title

[@lexcbaybee]

Oh my God 😂😂😂 A light 9?

[@henrietteviskum4635]

😂😂💀💀

[@jenm1]

light 9

[@LazyQahnaarin]

I don't know about everyone else, but I think she down played her allegations a bit. I never had a "quirky aunt" ask me what my favorite sex position was, nor send me lingerie.

[@JJBeauregard1]

She predicted that people were going to call her a gaslighting narcissist but predicting that people are going to state the obvious doesn't make it any less true, lol. "I foresaw you were going to call me 'X' which means that I'm clearly not 'X'! Checkmate, haters." That's not how it works. :'D

[@holylucane9019]

I like the face you did at the end >_

[@thunder_claw]

"There is no quicker way for people to think that you are diddling kids than by writing a song about it." -Rob McElhenney, 2011

[@maryjanedodo]

Rolf Harris - "My Body, Your Body" song 1980's

[@CadgerChristmasLightShow]

"Do not diddle kids, it's no good diddlin kids, you can't mess around with someone younger than your daughter or even younger than your wiiiife"

[@mayamcfadyen7757]

@@CadgerChristmasLightShow ‘my wife was old n i have no problem getting it up with her’

[@thbyrne23]

This is it. Best comment on youtube. we can shut it down now. all done

[@BranTheBald]

-Ronald McDonald

[@DrunkBiden]

It's not an apology. She's scolding you through song to accept her pedophilic behavior and framing it as crazy if you don't. She's insane.

[@Vincisomething]

She's trying to say she didn't do anything pedophilic and that WE'RE causing gossip by looking too much into it. And trying to guilt-trip and further gaslight on top of that. "over a fart joke"... Lady, you know that was not it.

[@actualfirstname1079]

Actually unhinged behavior. I have no idea how you get to a place where victims are actually coming out against you and you reach for the ukelele. A true specimen of mental illness what a ride

[@k_schreibz]

It's also funny because, like Anthony, I had only a vague sense of who this person was and had never heard the allegations against her. After watching the video I'm a) Insulted the way she talks about the audience as antagonistic, b) slack jawed that the only time she acknowledged she was in hot water for child grooming was saying, "not a groomer, just a loser" c) and baffled that she chose to make a sing song child's song defending herself from allegations she GROOMED CHILDREN. True or not I now hate this woman and think she deserves whatever's coming lol. Nice job Colleen!

[@baby.goblin]

It was weird and inappropriate not pedophilic .. this uke video is just cringe af

[@danlapidus3827]

@@Vincisomething also the "fart joke" in question traumatized the person at whose expense the joke was made

[@garretth3786]

"This is why theater kids shouldn't be allowed online" Anthony Factstano

[@abigailc9322]

i'm a music and theater kid and he's absolutely right she's just the embodiment of every obnoxious theater kid stereotype out there

[@chrisgaga6970]

A pure example of someone who peaked in the 2010s with that goddamn ukulele singing

[@babieeden]

Colleen: *takes a breath & strikes the first chord* Melon: "no."

[@cgill914]

The intense eye contact right away just feels gross. Her own apology just confirmed her guilt to me 😕

[@gauravagochiya4218]

This might actually have been the quickest that Fantano has ever said no to a song. Like, EVER.

[@tasha3939]

I know he was cringing and dying on the inside 😭😭listening to Colleen sing...

[@notatallfunctional]

I would’ve said no the moment I saw the ukulele

[@TheKilopoo]

Immediately no

[@MosesSuppose]

At this point the only thing that can salvage this for her is an Ice Spice feature

[@sparksparkle]

Grrah My girl did nothing wrong like

[@sparksparkle]

I'm a baddie just like my girl Colleen

[@manateelover12534]

@@sparksparkleLMFAOOOO

[@dyldragon1]

​@@sparksparkleAss so fat it don't fit in my jeans, like

[@sparksparkle]

@@dyldragon1 YES

[@everdarkraven]

She's almost 40...so when she says things like "I haven't done it in years" we're still talking about someone in their 30s doing the things she allegedly has done. It isn't a 20 something year old who messed up in their late teens.

[@morganqorishchi8181]

I can't tell if Colleen is trying to gaslight people or if she thinks getting a kid onstage, spreading her legs in a dress and leering down at her is so totally a-okay that the only thing she can imagine people disliking is the fart joke part of that.

[@rouge939]

Definitely gaslighting. Which is ironic because she accuses the audience of it

[@loganluna2048]

Colleen, there are simply some situations in life that you can't just Zooey Deschanel your way out of.

[@thestraydog]

Weaponized quirkiness

[@maryjanedodo]

🎯 The Eww Girl

[@Arrrghjay84]

Manic pixie groom girl

[@tjenadonn6158]

​​@@Arrrghjay84anic pixie sleep paralysis demon.

[@bryanrobinson712]

oh my gawd this might be the most perfect analysis

[@mysg36]

it’s honestly a great song if you ignore the lyrics and context and accusations and tone of voice and expressions and ukulele

[@notoriousstrikes4284]

Yeah it is really a great time if you listen to it on mute and don't watch the video

[@big_sea]

yes

[@_shivam_vij]

ikr!! i loved the song😍😍

[@goldswaggamer4007]

It's annoying as hell to listen to but I liked the ukelele. If she was doing anything else besides discussing controversy, it would've been pretty decent.

[@luisconde6201]

W

[@13lood13ath]

Update/Warning: Colleen just got a copyright for the song and she's making the rounds giving out copyright strikes for videos featuring clips of the song.

[@yaboi-km2qn]

You get copyright as soon as you write the song.

[@t.l.7854]

This falls under fair use. She can't sue for shit.

[@PuppetMasterIX]

I never expected someone who makes musical content for a living to make an apology video as tone-deaf as this.

[@yeahyeahyeahyeah987]

the fact that an apology video for child exploitation and grooming has a chorus is mind boggling

[@arandomhippo4798]

Honestly if you think about how crazy and deranged you have to be to think something like this was ok to put out on the internet considering her actions it is absolutely insane. Like she had to write this song and film multiple takes and never thought how this would be received

[@victorhugosouza-xc9tc]

Would be sus if the chord was A minor

[@fighthive4808]

⁠@@arandomhippo4798 i mean she even predicted her comments section so she knew this would be a disaster. but in her twisted worldview the only reason anyone would call her out is because they’re out to get her. it’s unbridled narcissism.

[@charliepaige196]

Did she even really apologize tho??💀

[@Draxacon]

@@victorhugosouza-xc9tcshe actually does play an A minor chord in this song. *COUGH* “she fingers A minor, on the Uke” 💀 😬

[@kirramisu]

the most infuriating part of the song is the fact that she could come up with a hook, verses, a bridge & an encore but couldn’t come up with a single chord progression

[@hayk3000]

She also couldn't come up with a single good excuse for grooming

[@ember9361]

@@hayk3000there isn’t

[@WobbledWeenus]

⁠@@hayk3000 I’ve gotta ask, what IS a good excuse for grooming???

[@LavastormSW]

This made me laugh, thank you

[@arianna1906]

​​@@hayk3000care to share some *good* ones?? LMFAO I'm pretty sure there's no excuse.

[@danielbarreto9263]

"Even when apologizing she can't be age appropriate" Funniest shit ever

[@plantemor]

I had zero idea who she was until a few days ago. The more i looked into her and learned about her behavior over the course of her career the more i went from "oh, people are taking her out of context and exaggerating things she did and said" to "holy shit, this bish is actually a female Onision.

[@daffyphack]

"This video won't change anyone's mind about me." It did for me. 24 hours ago, I knew there was some YT comedian who wore way too much lipstick, but I didn't know a single thing about them. Now I know they have well documented accusations of grooming against them because their response video is so monumentally tone-deaf.

[@ad2094]

Honestly same, I just sorta knew her for doing some character with messy lipstick

[@DanniShelton]

I used to be a big fan of hers. I was slowly turning against her and this video was the final blow. She disgusts me now

[@MFBloosh]

@@HadenBlakeAnother insane thing is that she was in some of those group chats with minors up until a week ago. She acts like she was young and dumb when she did these things, like no bitch you were 32. You were literally in the middle of sexually harassing children last week! She’s insane.

[@annapapadimitropoulos7495]

yup i had no idea she'd done anything until seeing "hi."

[@Idontwant1]

I'm sorry!!! It's that easy. It's insane that she had 3 weeks to write a real apology to her victims. But instead she wrote this long accusatory song. Instead of taking responsibility for being a creep and rotten person. Crazy isn't it?

[@isengrim99]

Nothing quite like a woman accused of sexual offences involving minors adressing said accusations with a passive-agressive ukulele performance

[@nathanmedina2809]

You make it sounds like someone was hurt or attacked lol 😂😂

[@Zenith_Star69]

​@@nathanmedina2809cope

[@arianna1906]

​@@nathanmedina2809 The kids were harmed. Emotionally. They could've sincerely gained a warped sense of relationships that occur between children and adults in their lives. Adults should not lean on little kids for support, and they shouldn't be therapists.

[@Tao_Tology]

@@nathanmedina2809 You make it sound like you're trying to downplay the behavior of an adult towards minors.

[@fortynights1513]

Out of curiosity, what's a worse apology: This, or The Fine Bros?

[@supremebuffalo6322]

10:30 sums it up so perfectly. I kept thinking "how many takes did she do without having that self realization?"

[@jakek1735]

Every time she insists that she's "taken accountability" it reminds me of the scene in Breaking Bad where Gretchen confronts Walt over him involving her in his lie to his family without her consent or even her knowledge, and he says "I'm sorry" once, without actually acknowledging or owning up to anything, and when she understandably demands an explanation from him, he gets indignant and insists that he already apologized and doesn't owe her anything more than that, and keeps patting himself on the back for his "apology".

[@The116thDoctor]

“I’m taking accountability” in the same line as “everyone is just making stuff up and lying for attention” well. I’m convinced

[@jonisraeli83]

it's quite the paradox

[@MFBloosh]

And then acting like she was just young and dumb, like no you were 32. She was literally in group chats with children up until last week. The amount of hypocrisy, denial, deflecting, and downplaying in one video is mind blowing. She’s insane.

[@nignamedmutt7270]

I wish so fucking badly that her LEGAL TEAM would upload their reaction to this.... That's the only reaction I REALLY wanna see. Imagine how fucking baffling it would be to be consulted one minute.... then immediately after realizing THIS is what you're tasked with "defending" Maybe Legal Eagle can do a "if someone came to me and responded like this" hypothetical response.....

[@dysmissme7343]

“I’m taking accountability” ≠ taking accountability 💀

[@adityabhujbal6891]

Everyone, I just want him to give EARWAX by Six Impala a listen or two and review it with a Yellow Flannel, which he will surely wear the day he does.

[@IndigoPhoenix21]

Offering "this is what's wrong with society" platitudes instead of actual ownership, an influencer apology classic.

[@malakhi3836]

Thank you. She acts as if she just misspoke on a video or something and it’s like no…you literally groomed children. Even so, why so performative? You already don’t care what your legal team has to say, so you might as well just make a regular apology. Her whole “apology” reeks of “IM A VICTIM,” when in reality she’s a creepy woman who has groomed kids. I don’t know what she thought she was doing but this apology is neither cute, nor an actual apology.

[@kurtadams9740]

​@@malakhi3836but she's jewish

[@malakhi3836]

@@kurtadams9740I’m sorry, I don’t get what you’re implying😭

[@phoenix1900]

@@kurtadams9740what the fuck do you mean by that?

[@liamjamesrockwell]

no fr it’s wild

[@Alix_Mei]

The worst of this is when you find out that she is a mother and her child will know any time that her mother accepted this pedo side of her.

[@AluminumFusion22]

She apparently has three kids, so even worse.

[@Alix_Mei]

@@AluminumFusion22 oh shit 💀💀💀💀💀💀

[@candy-ninja]

I hope she doesn’t have custody

[@KodyeWhobrey]

12:04 that freeze frame

[@marioi.carrillo6264]

She pulled out the "white women with an ukelele" defense. Pretty solid if you ask me.

[@peterbauer1494]

I appreciate the correct pronunciation of the word “ukelele” implied in your comment

[@baintreachas]

@@peterbauer1494 ? the Hawaiian spelling is ukulele (and for anyone curious, it's pronounced "oo-koo-le-le")

[@weiyin8046]

@@baintreachas if one was to pronounce ukelele by the broadly accepted yet incorrect pronunciation (i.e. yoo), 'a ukelele' would make more sense. since the original comment used 'an', this implies the correct pronunciation (oo-) which you described. i hope this explains it!

[@baintreachas]

@@weiyin8046 ahhhhh I see, thanks for the explanation. I’m not a native English speaker, did not realize “a” vs “an” implied that

[@OlYables]

That defense would have worked in 2009 for SURE.

[@stevieodonnell]

as a theater kid who’s been institutionalized a few times i know that you have to sign off saying you won’t buy a gun for like 5 years but i still feel very unsafe knowing that i have access to the ukulele that has been chilling in my dads garage since like 2015

[@revvolutions]

Don't do it kid.

[@that.neurodivergent]

Lmfaoooo

[@morganqorishchi8181]

Don't give into temptation!

[@marhepto]

this is one of the funniest things i've ever read

[@Kamasado99]

absolute banger of a comment, i give you a strong 10

[@sixtwentysix]

Every KZbin commentator should be thanking her for allowing them to create non essential reaction content to fill the time

[@polter5195]

All this needed was a kazoo solo to truly drive it home

[@leslieeunice1]

“Even when apologizing she can’t be age appropriate” this had me dead 💀😂🙈

[@SlurpeeBoy9999]

"We got to write a song about how we do not diddle kids." "There is no quicker way to make people think you are diddling kids than by writing a song about it."

[@gauravagochiya4218]

Reality is turning more and more into an Always Sunny episode with each passing day

[@nathanmedina2809]

But she's not doing that by Fact

[@maryjanedodo]

Exactly - Rolf Harris has a song called "my body, your body" about keeping your hands to yourself 🤢

[@synthesizedpdx]

It's not good diddling kids

[@RileyWritey]

"Mr. Gorbachev, tear down this wall!"

[@tomoakley760]

The creepiest part of the "song" was how it effectively tries to frame child grooming as being somehow "quirky" and harmless when it's a woman. If she were a man doing the things she's allegedly done, and then doubled down with a gaslighting song, she'd be absolutely annihilated. Like, full on lynch mobs and prison justice and shit. I'm glad basically nobody is buying her bullshit, she kinda outed herself by being so obviously sketchy with this video that will almost certainly be used against her in court.

[@C-Farsene_5]

Yeah cooler heads have prevailed in this case like what happened in the Johnny Depp case

[@michaeldonnan6767]

She didn't groom anyone. She wasn't trying to have sex with these boys. Does that fact matter to you at all?

[@HeftyDan]

​@@michaeldonnan67671:51

[@AluminumFusion22]

​@@michaeldonnan6767She acted inappropriately around kids she didn't even know, she spoke about sexual/adult personal topics in her DMs to underage kids, and the on-stage antics she's been involved in are part of the allegations too.

[@tomoakley760]

@@borutokawaki-cv2fl ooh we got a level 9 badass here

[@HouseholdDog]

On topic. This lady has a fantastic sense of rhythm. She stops for ten seconds and picks up the beat dead on. All while singing and acting.

[@marvintank3649]

Imagine messing up an apology so bad that even Anthony Fantano has legitimate grounds to make a video about it. This is a new level of Streisand Effect.

[@allysonbeaulieu7351]

just like a true theater kid, she’s a really bad impression of barbara 😂

[@popeyboy5108]

Not sure that's how the Streisand effect works

[@HarvenHaven]

fr ive never heard of her until the apology lmao

[@redshamrock05]

Wtf is Streisand effect

[@popeyboy5108]

@@redshamrock05 The Streisand effect is an unintended consequence of attempts to hide, remove, or censor information, where the effort instead leads to increased awareness of that information. It is named after American singer and actress Barbra Streisand, whose attempt to suppress the California Coastal Records Project's photograph of her cliff-top residence in Malibu, California, taken to document California coastal erosion, inadvertently drew greater attention to the photograph in 2003.[1]

[@recursiveslacker7730]

Ghislaine Maxwell would have won her court case if she just brought a ukulele onto the stand.

[@ytviceman7495]

Underrated comment

[@seanwilson9117]

I like how she had the audacity to send this video to someone she directly victimized by sharing their adult content with her underage fans while critiquing it and simultaneously acting like they were their best friend.

[@CoMcDougal]

The smash cut between this apology and her blackface performance of “Single Ladies” is just… *chefs kiss*

[@offbranddorito9668]

The "crazy, I know

[@DanniShelton]

Because she actually, in her messed up mind, is convinced she’s the victim in all this

[@queennai6471]

She didn't make a "mistake". It was a messed up, evil decision that she chose to do, which deserves punishment, that entire line is just wrong.

[@andrewSPgaynor]

I've an inlaw that talks like this. Like they're the first and only person to discover empathy and understanding. Just constant patronizing to every person they meet 🙈 I think I'll buy them a uke for Christmas

[@monimoo88]

It’s because she knows her audience are children even though she claims her content is not meant for children,

[@Doc_Fun]

Just makes my skin crawl

[@RoweReviews]

crazy how she dropped a 10 minute spoken word theater core singer-songwriter uke ballad with twee elements as an apology

[@thehousecat93]

To be fair to her (fair?), she didn't release this as an apology. If it were an apology, she'd need to apologize for something. Even the Paul brother insincerely apologized for the video about that forest in Japan. This is a "Kevin Spacey's 'Let Me Be Frank'"-tier deflection/self-defense.

[@shahs1221]

​@@thehousecat93her "apology" was "You're all delusional and this is wrongful cancelation, sweaty"

[@oo4758]

@@thehousecat93 it's so awful. The only thing her video has going for her is that she didn't pull a Romeo Lacoste and blame the victims for being victims

[@gulermo]

the song is also in A minor

[@donovan4222]

I’m feeling a light to decent 4 on this one. Tran-sition

[@CJJ2201]

13:10 “I’m not a groomer just a loser” that hiss after she said that was such an instinctive response 😂

[@papayer]

1:52 can we appreciate Colleen asking a minor for pics and them replying with 'go away b****' LMFAOOOOO

[@justinurbealis6234]

This was so painful. There’s been some awful KZbin apologies over the years, this easily takes the cake.

[@coffeedude]

For me the interpretive dance one is still the worst

[@ezgames6925]

And it somehow is even more embarrassing than that Sienna Mae did where she did that “Interpretive dance”.

[@kyled6108]

@@coffeedudeyeah nothing beats the dance☠️

[@fxbashful8947]

The Draymond Green mini documentary apology is also in the running

[@b0t123]

Can't wait to come back to this comment in the next few years

[@jett3474]

What makes it funnier is that she's like "my lawyers never said I can't sing" but then she spends half of the song just talking while strumming at the same time, like some pseudo-spoken word thing

[@goblazeher]

For real 🤣 this whole video was a fever dream

[@jtw.111]

I watched Colleen for years, and I always kinda got a weird vibe from her. Like there were times where she would complain about the weirdest stuff and have a 'woe is me' attitude. It just seemed like there was always something and that it was someone else's fault.

[@DarthFlavor]

Monetize eyes demise is the actual equivalent to lyrical spirtiual miracle

[@snazzeed]

this woman had the nerve to make a prog-rock length ukulele song thats the most unforgiveable part for me

[@lemmmakestunes8312]

like she couldn't have like justified the length and like paid out the mars volta to produce this shit for her with her youtube drama money?

[@ruthpayne9146]

some insane shit fr cool pfp btw

[@TheSubzeto]

It just needs 3 kazoo solos

[@firstnamelastname7244]

in the court of colleen ballinger

[@joaquinlezcano2372]

Where is Steven Wilson to remix this?

[@philly_sports1558]

I have no idea how she managed to write this song, perform it probably with multiple takes, film it, and upload it without her or her legal team realizing that it was a terrible idea. The level of delusion is disgusting.

[@nekotj_]

Her legal team absolutely told her it was a terrible idea, she just ignored them entirely.

[@Cadaveralien]

"Even though my team has strongly advised me to not say what I want to say, I recently realized they never said that I couldn't sing what I want to say." She at the start of the video

[@nastyasfrick]

Charlie legit said the exact same thing

[@t_ylr]

Are you saying the woman who let her teenage fan run her Twitter account is making bad pr decisions??? I'm shocked 😂

[@skylermikalson6159]

I don’t think she actually has a team. She just said that to have a “cute/clever” line to justify responding to the situation via a song.

[@cameronbethea123]

5:30-5:45 "Even when apologizing, she can't be age appropriate" Lmfao

[@xk4597]

Best song ever 10/10 -blaming people -telling lies -ukulele -child grooming and harrassing Whst you could ask more.

[@whoisxenon]

“ruin the life of the person you despise while you dramatize your lies and monetize their demise” was some lyrical spiritual miracle type shit fr

[@TheNinja94a]

she thought she ate

[@ba6561]

​@TheNinja94a so many goddamn crumbs

[@gremloid]

​@@ba6561theres still a whole meal left

[@chandra_creator]

@@gremloid entire banquet

[@owengreaves9997]

@@TheNinja94ashe did let’s be honest

[@All-ze9cl]

I just love the irony of her saying that we're "monetizing her demise" in a video that is ten minutes long so she can get monetization from it.

[@eshiadeserriere8913]

Real 💀

[@lunaticticboom8659]

Is that really still a thing?

[@xXsillysussyXx]

mid roll ads are if a video is 8 (maybe 6 i forgot) minutes long now btw

[@AluminumFusion22]

Supposedly that's why she stops, gets up, and looks off-screen; she's checking to see if she can monetize the video. She uploaded the song to Apple Music too and she may or may not have tried to get this very video taken down, as she's issuing copyright strikes on any video that has the song in it.

[@dawsond4123]

@@AluminumFusion22 in a twisted way, it’s smart. She made it a song, and copyrights any video making fun of her video because it has the song in it. Pathetic, but smart

[@matthewdekker6064]

I'm not sure how she doesn't recognize the hypocrisy of the song - in one part she says these are all "lies and rumors," but in another part, she basically says "yeah, I was like the weird aunt who says inappropriate shit." She's simultaneously saying she did these things and *didn't* do these things. I'm sure she's only technically referring to the really bad shit when she says "I didn't do it," but she had to have known how it would come across. But I guess she's just so narcissistic that she can't see it from anyone else's perspective.

[@toomanyfandomskiddo8932]

Honestly a part of me wonders if she knows she can possibly lose custody of her kids if one of her victims decides to take her to court. Unfortunately, her being the mom lowers the chances of her kids being taken away (since family courts commonly lean towards the mom’s favor) but the possibility is still there

[@bruuuuuuuhh]

could you imagine if your lawyer goes up to the stand and says: "your honor...." *WHIPS OUT THE UKELELE AND BREAKS INTO SONG*

[@yunggizzum23]

your honor im sorry sorry sorry sorry headass

[@LateshaO]

“My team strongly advised me not to speak about this but… they never said I couldn’t sing my closing arguments… YOUR HONOR GET ON THE TOXIC LYIN TRAAAIIIN”

[@shahs1221]

The judge just goes "JAIL. FOR A HUNDRED YEARS."

[@volkova6209]

​@shahs1221 🎵 jail jail jaillll for a hundred years babyy 🎵

[@aurorethebore]

@@shahs1221 I was just here for a traffic ticket 😭😭

[@Anthonycheesman33]

I mean she can’t be guilty she sang a song melon lol.

[@brandonwhite2401]

Murder on my mind type vibes?

[@sudevsen]

Sory by Akon

[@TCH534]

ahh the R Kelly defense.

[@devign3800]

Oh shit that’s true

[@Rain_Reign]

And it was so quirky!! 🥺

[@robh7800]

I would have never heard a thing about this woman and the horrible things she’s done if she didn’t choose to write this song.. so I guess we can thank her for that, really got the word out

[@TheJillers]

As a former thester kid. She thinks this is her act 2 relevatory solo when this is clearly the act 1 character set up song that will be used as a letmotif all the way through act 2 where she gets her comeuppance/has an epiphany/etc.... and sings this song again with some key phrases and intonations changed, put in a different key, and possibly sung at a different tempo. Unfortunately i dont think she has the actual emotional capacity to be act 2. Shes firmly stuck as an act 1 and will never grow and change.

[@ApocalypseMoose]

Since that one KZbinr apologized by interpretive dance and Colleen apologized with a song, I can't wait for the eventual KZbinr Apology: The Musical!

[@TheNinja94a]

God help us all if the guy who made Hamilton turns out to be a horrible person. Our eyes and ears will be graced by something terrible.

[@shankieinthefridge]

Actually a good idea

[@heckicusdoomicuswizardus1382]

​@@TheNinja94ahe already did, he made hamilton

[@thepanpiper7715]

Welcome to the 2023 Rewind! (No idea if they’re still doing them, don’t particularly care, until they green light this)

[@Mattimaginex1]

@@TheNinja94ahe kinda is but it’s only his home country that “hates” him

[@emmabostic2516]

every time she gets to the “monetize lies demise” bit my brain just can’t help but think Real Eyes Realize Real Lies

[@mbr2000_]

Bro SAME

[@Idontwant1]

I never heard that saying before. That's a keeper and totally great to use on someone trying to tell you a fat lie. Thanks

[@sezedal]

That's a quote that I'm definitely gonna use a lot

[@alfonsalenius2482]

BEST LYRICIST OF THE 21ST CENTURY ‼️‼️🔥

[@AJ-dw9or]

🤣🤣🤣

[@thedeathdealer3918]

It's not an apology. It's a confession!

[@shaylacourteau]

6:03 as a theater kid, he’s correct

[@RSG_TheMonster]

This new Colleen Ballinger apology, is *NOT GOOD*

[@venurian]

I heard the fucking explosion and his voice with that too lol

[@kurtadams9740]

But she's jewish

[@stevenhomre-93]

Her singing is quite pleasant

[@loftw_]

i love when the world comes together and collectively says “that’s bad”

[@yk-who-it-is]

FR same there are not many things in the world that at least 80% of humans agree with so it's refreshing to see.

[@publiusventidiusbassus1232]

There is a surprising amount of support for her in that awful song's comment section

[@sonnieM]

@@publiusventidiusbassus1232Because the bad comments are being deleted

[@j01sonofsleazy]

@@publiusventidiusbassus1232 buying comments is a thing.

[@notatallfunctional]

@@publiusventidiusbassus1232 Well that’ll happen when you’ve been conditioning your young audience over the years to trust you and be comfortable with your inappropriate behavior.

[@dirtycupcake25]

I made a severe and continuous lapse in my judgement, and I don’t expect to be forgiven. I’m simply here to apologize. What we came across in the woods that day was obviously unplanned. The reactions you saw on tape were raw; they were unfiltered. None of us knew how to react or how to feel. I should have never posted the video. I should have put the cameras down and stopped recording what we were going through. There's a lot of things I should have done differently but I didn't. And for that, from the bottom of my heart, I am sorry. I want to apologize to the internet. I want to apologize to anyone who has seen the video. I want to apologize to anyone who has been affected or touched by mental illness, or depression, or suicide. But most importantly I want to apologize to the victim and his family. For my fans who are defending my actions, please don't. I don’t deserve to be defended. My goal with my content is always to entertain; to push the boundaries, to be all-inclusive. In the world I live in, I share almost everything I do. The intent is never to be heartless, cruel, or malicious. Like I said I made a huge mistake. I don’t expect to be forgiven, I’m just here to apologize. I'm ashamed of myself. I’m disappointed in myself. And I promise to be better. I will be better. Thank you.

[@Carlos-ln8fd]

:'(

[@millacernemusic]

You know it’s bad when Logan leads by example.

[@TheClevelandSteamer]

“A mistake doesn’t make them a terrible human, it just makes them a human” in reference to her Demonic behavior. 16:44

[@Danonza]

I hope genius reaches out to her so she can break down the lyrics 🤞

[@WhelmedButReady]

As if she didn't already do that during this mind numbing 10min video

[@boobiesexmachine]

underrated comment frfr

[@la2aru593]

MONSTAAAAAAAAAAAA

[@MadeOfConfusion]

LMFAO "I made some mistakes" mistakes highlighted ---> Was highly inappropriate for an extensive amount of time with people from the ages of 13-17 😀

[@emaezing]

Hahahaha

[@Jwitzzz]

I would've never known she was a creep if it wasn't for this song.

[@TheNinja94a]

Seriously, all I knew about her before this is that she made what I'll call "internet music" that my sister watched like eight or nine years ago. I don't know what else to call it, it was music that seemed to result from internet culture. But yeah that's all I knew. Then yeeeaaaars later, when I haven't thought about her in a while, I see a nostalgic name pop up next to the worst accusations, and those accusations are true. Before that, hearing anything from her just gave me nostalgia of sharing my room with my sister. She fucked herself so hard with this shit. Biggest "pride leads to fall" lesson I've ever seen play out on the internet so far. Edit, second biggest. Forgot about Andrew Tate.

[@t-pain1827]

I just think about how self satisfied she must’ve felt while writing this song.

[@captaincap96]

I LOVE how you added the Philly D clip!! Great creators, both of you.