Revisiting Vaginectomy Decisions at The End of Phalloplasty

[@FinnTheInfinncible]

• For an exclusive extract video reading of my Phalloplasty memoir, sign up to my Finnstalment Newsletter! eepurl.com/dM7Zw2

[@charliestrickland6194]

I'm glad you addressed the issue. I'm also so relieved to know I'm not the only one who thinks having a "wet area" is horrible. It is the worst dysphoria to have when you know you can't hae surgery.

[@FinnTheInfinncible]

Oh buddy my heart goes out to folks who cant have surgery. It must be so difficult. I was saying in a comment to someone else that therapy can go some way to helping with difficult body parts when surgey isnt available. I can understand how difficult acceptance must be though.

[@rachaelgosser5659]

Your presentation of normally uncomfortable topics is amazing. You are so informative, entertaining, and make the viewer perfectly comfortable with any subject matter. Love you. You're gorgeous.

[@FinnTheInfinncible]

What a wonderful compliment, thank you so much!

[@cursivart]

Hey, Finn. I'm having some issues accepting my need for it to help treat a fistula that developed in that area post stage 1 meta. I am one of the people who experience pleasure in this area, but being in the US, I am just... not sure I can handle coming back to a state 1k+ miles away for potentially 2 or 3 more times to attempt repair the fistula again... and again. The struggle is so real, man.

[@terrydigenti8756]

I'm 3 months post-op bat cave closed!! .I'm very happy. The only thing I miss is my ability to get quite wet. But I have absolutely no regrets. I start my electrolysis in a few days and final surgery next year!!

[@FinnTheInfinncible]

I'm so pleased for you! Different perspectives are so interesting, being dry is so refreshing to me, I don't miss all that wetness! Good luck with your electrolysis!

[@blackshards3415]

Congrats!

[@TheShellie28]

So proud of you and the wet and dry explanation is spot on well done you lots of love x

[@FinnTheInfinncible]

Thank you so much for your kind comment!

[@thomasmorris9587]

Hey Finn. I was recently re-watching your phalloplasty journey videos again, and I heard you refer to it as the Bat Cave. I’m not going to lie, I spat my tea out laughing 😂. It’s the best name and reference I’ve ever heard! I hope you, Chris and Lamby are well

[@FinnTheInfinncible]

Haha! What a waste of tea! Yeah, it was the best way I could refer to it....it was a little like the batcave, underused and full of cobwebs..... We are doing good ta, despite shielding, we are coping OK! Lamby is struggling a bit, as he was looking forward to Glastonbury festival. Its the biggest field he gets to visit each year but sadly its canceled.... Hope you are well!

[@thomasmorris9587]

FinnTheInfinncible I am as good as I can be right now. ha ha it definitely was a waste of good tea. On the other hand, i laughed harder than I have for a while, so that was good. Bat cave is a great analogy for the old anatomy, and I think it’s one I will adopt myself. I am glad you are all coping. It’s all we can do at this time. Take it one day at a time. Aww poor Lamby, I can imagine you are both a bit down about the cancellations of festivals. I know how much you enjoy them. I guess on the plus side, the next one will be all that more enjoyable

[@carriefernandez9804]

I appreciate that you said at the end how important it is to take your time with these decisions. I'm almost 30, as are my friends, and I see a lot of them rushing their transitions and then having difficulty with things settling physically and socially. With both medical and social transition, there's little things that click into place along the way and things you didn't know you didn't know until you get there. No one told me that when I went on T and my voice dropped that I would have to relearn the physical mechanics of how to laugh with my new vocal cords. Puberty takes like a decade the first time anyway, rushing it the second time is probably not a great idea.

[@FinnTheInfinncible]

I absolutely agree with you. I have approached my transiton in the same way as I approach life, by taking it one day at a time and focusing on the journey, not the destination. I missed the right puberty the first time around, I wanted to savour the second one and not rush! And, taking time means we own our decisions and truly know they are right for us, and it gives more time to adjust!

[@karentriggs7272]

Thank you for your videos, I am a sex therapist andwork with young trans and gender diverse folk and there is a lack of helpful information around some of these topics.

[@FinnTheInfinncible]

Thanks for watching! What wonderful and much needed work you do! If I can ever help, please do send me a message, I have a book about my phalloplasty/seuality journey too. You can find more over on my website finlaygames.com

[@kevincollins53]

Thank you for this video, Finn. Over the years, this topic has occupied my mind at times - maybe even been one of the excuses I used to delay starting my transition. I would tell myself I can't really be trans if I still get enjoyment from my 'bat cave'. Knowing this a perfectly normal feeling has helped alleviate that stress. Top surgery is my immediate goal, so I have time to decide on what I want to do when I have bottom surgery, but thank you for letting me know that, whatever decision I make, it will be the right one for me. Love you, my friend. Hugs to Chris and Lamby! 💗

[@FinnTheInfinncible]

Kevin! I missed this comment! Doing whats 'right' when you are trans is an impossible standard. The only right is what is right for us. Bodies and identiy are incredibly complex, even for a cis person, so for a trans person its even more so, and then we have the issue of the pressure of being 'trans enough' on top of all that, no wonder we get stuck making decisions! I came to the conclusion a long time ago that I was going to give up caring what others thought and just do whatever made me feel happier and more comfortable, after all, its only me that has to live my life and enjoy my body, not them!

[@OleoBlog]

Part of me wants to get lower surgery, because I am dysphoric about it but I'm not as sure on it as I was with testosterone or top surgery. It was almost like with those two, I wanted both of them sorted, no questions asked. However with lower surgery I can live without it for now, but I imagine that dysphoria will worsen since my mind has only just gotten over the excitement of having had chest surgery. I think a lot of it is that to me lower surgery feels like being a bit more of a science experiment as it's so complex and there's much more uncertainty around the process. Also I feel so tired of being a medical patient, if that makes sense? I'm over 2 years on T now, had top surgery in Spring last year, and I also had a major back surgery back in 2015, so I almost just wanna live my life without spending half my time in hospitals and on the phone to my GP, y'know? I think I just need to spend a year or so watching these videos and learning more before I turn round to Charring Cross and tell them I do want to go through with phallo.

[@FinnTheInfinncible]

Hello my friend, I can absolutely relate to how you feel, it was exactly the same for me. I dint have huge lower dysphoria, nothing like my top surgery dysphoria, but rather a gradual increasing distaste for my lower half and a feeling of it just not matching the rest of me. Also, like you, I didnt want any more medical intervention, I just wanted to get on with my life and the thought of years more surgery terrified and saddened me. I tried to live with what I had, but in the end, I knew that I had to have surgery. Our experience isnt uncommon when it comes to lower surgery. I work as a coach and mentor and help trans guys work through lower surgery decions and options and the same things come up time and time again. This is far more of a complicated decision than top surgery. if I can ever help, do drop me a message. I shall link you to my website, which has additional resources as well as links to services and to contact me finlaygames.com/welcome/

[@OleoBlog]

@@FinnTheInfinncible Hey Finn, thank you so much for your reply. I appreciate that a lot. It's definitely a procedure that I want done, but I'm only 19, not too far off 20, so I still feel as if I have plenty of thinking time. Thanks again :)

[@nathanielmoneypenny3465]

Thank you for your absolute honesty Finn, love you xxx

[@FinnTheInfinncible]

Thank you for your lovely comment!

[@thezanderomaat]

Thanks Finn. I appreciate you sharing your experience. It’s helped me in my decisions.

[@FinnTheInfinncible]

I am so glad to know my videos help. I cant remember if I have mentioned it to you before, so forgive me if I have, but I also have a written blog and tons of phallo info there too. finlaygames.com/category/gender-and-sexuality/

[@elijah304]

A thousand thank you's, Finn! Your videos help me again and again. You are so genuine, and your positive outlook is so warming! When might your lower surgery memoir become available for pre-order?

[@FinnTheInfinncible]

I am so glad to know my vlogs help. The book is due early next year. I'm hoping to have more news for you soon, on pre orders and so on. 😁

[@George-iq1vt]

Endlessly grateful for you making these videos which are so helpful in decision-making processes for people like me. Thank you Finn!

[@FinnTheInfinncible]

Very happy to help my friend. In case you didnt know, I also have a blog with additional phallo info finlaygames.com/category/gender-and-sexuality/

[@George-iq1vt]

FinnTheInfinncible Thank you, I’ll check it out!

[@jenniferjack4346]

So awesome discovering you sir !!! Very medically informative,(without being too clinical) sensitive aaaaand just a kickass human sir. Speaking on closing batcave made me revisit "Southern Comfort...documentary( not drink)" the superb southern gentleman total badass pioneer isn't with us because the option of closing the batcave...was discouraged, and told it was unnecessary, the "experts" were wrong. The last bit that was female is what took him from us (and Lola,and his grandbabies who I'm positive still talk about their "paw-paw" ) if trans people(or any human) wish to know about the trailblazers....in trans community WATCH THIS. Love and peace y'all!!! Praying for all a SUPER AWESOMELY COOL MUCH BETTER BRAND NEW YEAR!!!!! Big virtual hugs and kisses babies!!!!

[@FinnTheInfinncible]

Hello! What an absolutely wonderful comment to find, thank you so much! Welcome to the FinnFam! Thank you for the recommendation too. If you want more of me, I have a website too! finlaygames.com. Here is to a much better year for us all!

[@flowersstorms8863]

I'm so glad you had choices in which way you wanted to take surgery! And, I have to join the chorus of approval for 'batcave' as an anatomical term!!! (BTW, at around 7:28 you say your memoir is out early 2020; I think you may have misspoken as I'm sure you've said 2021 before?) xx

[@FinnTheInfinncible]

Lol yes! Next year! Goodness this virus is messing with my head! I keep getting times and dates wrong!

[@flowersstorms8863]

@@FinnTheInfinncible Join the club, m'love! I managed to put face cream on my armpits the other day, and looked for a fork in the fridge. I'm amazed any of us, let alone those of us with MH challenges, know which way's up any more!!!! xx

[@wolfman75]

Thank You Brother!!!! Great Info!!! I never thought about it that way!! I just wanted every thing done!!! I all ready got the Hysto. I am wanting Top so bad but I have to wait to even go talk to the surgeon cuz of the pandemic 😵🤷‍♂️👍😎

[@FinnTheInfinncible]

Thank you! I hope you get to hat to your surggeon soon, this virus is cause too much additional stress for us trans folk!

[@karsonharris1991]

I just had top surgery and I'm already thinking about bottom. I don't want to jump in too early though and really think about it. I knew about the wet vs dry thing in my head but never really put words to that and it just made so much sense. The main thing I'm wondering is can you still feel your old part at all? I have nerve isses with my area as is and im afraid if I have it closed off I'd still be able to like feel it but not reach it if that makes sense.

[@FinnTheInfinncible]

Congrats on your top surgery! Yes, it is wise to take your time to work through how you feel. I can still feel my old part, even though it is buried, I can still access it. This videos about how my sensation has changed might be of help kzbin.info/aero/PL-xdbMjLqelL3efWb1uSGxJiAnMFU7R_Y

[@TransKameron]

I can relate....kinda. Maybe I will be brave enough to talk about my experiences about this on my channel one day.

[@FinnTheInfinncible]

It's a tough topic to share openly about that's for sure!

[@Sunflower-Boy]

Thank u for making such an honest video 💗

[@FinnTheInfinncible]

Thanks for watching and for your appreciation!

[@thoraneh7365]

Your beard looks even thicker than usual :D looks awesome finn :)

[@FinnTheInfinncible]

It's the beat thing to come out of the corona virus 😂😂

[@dmorgan4910]

What was the recovery time for removing/ closing the bat cave?

[@satunbreeze]

I greatly appreciate hearing your perspective on this topic. I know you might not be the best person to ask this, but do you have any resources on surgeons/information on phalloplasty while keeping the bat cave? Its SO hard to come by information on, and I understand why, but I REALLY want phallo, but I just couldnt bear to get rid of him to get a phallo penis.

[@playingindies6730]

How was the recovery? How long did you have to wait before the hospital let you go?

[@FinnTheInfinncible]

Hello my friend. Vaginectomy in the UK is done as part of stage 2 in phalloplasty. I was only in overnight and the recovery for thins was fairly straightforward. I have a playlist for this entire proceedure , which is my surgery diary which follows my hospital experiences and subsequent recovery at home. You can find it here: kzbin.info/aero/PL-xdbMjLqelIdsLeX8n9lHaBsjFfMlq2i If you have any question or you need any other resources head over to my Ko-fi page : ko-fi.com/finlaygames

[@playingindies6730]

@@FinnTheInfinncible I had mine last week Due to my sleeping issues I talked to the surgeon and came to an agreement to sleep at home :) Now preparing for phalloplasty itself :D

[@jamesfinlay5147]

Thank you for talking about this it's addressed a lot of doubts that I have

[@FinnTheInfinncible]

Very glad to help. Dont forget I have additional resources ovr on my website and you can also message me there too :) finlaygames.com

[@pmbluemoon]

Hello Finn! Lovely to see you again as well! You really look handsome with a thicker beard! I call mine the "man cave" lol your name is better though by far! 😄 I have an odd question about phallo, (or even metoidio) does it start itching when the nerves start growing in like with top surgery scars? I still get a terribly un-itchable spot here and there before I notice I have more sensation because more nerves are growing back even 3 years after my top surgery is done with. How about riding a bicycle? Do things get in the way or is it more comfortable? (I like to ride my bicycle because I can't drive, I ether walk or bike to my appointments) I'm an endless pool of odd questions lol! I still think, if you're up for it, to do a video on how to get used to back door pleasures... My significant other LOVED it until I transitioned, and I've been wondering what I've been missing (I have irritable bowel syndrome so I don't know how much of a good idea that would be for me or not, but I'd be willing to try it if it helped me out somewhat (strengthen the muscles maybe, or toughen up the skin back there, I'm one of those kind that think "if there's a will, there's a way") I tried watching gay porn, but NO. Not the answers I'm looking for. I would rather hear from the careful, considerate, compassionate people out there who are not into any type of things that I saw that I can't UN-see whilst perusing the videos I was watching. 😲 Anyone reading this comment, if you have any place I can go online and see something like that, I would be very appreciative. If I didn't have any back door problems I wouldn't be so apprehensive to try anything, but since I do, I really need some nitty-gritty advice on where to start. I'm also going to ask my doctor when I can go see him again (he's also trans FTM too, so he should be able to give me a bit of advice, but my significant other comes with me and they would be very crabby with me if I asked a question like that while they were there with me.) Thank you for reading my comments again! 😁😊 I know I like to write out long ones, I'm still on my journey and am going to be very interested in your book when it comes out Finn! 👍🥰 Everyone be well, stay safe, and stay healthy out there!

[@FinnTheInfinncible]

My friend I absolutely love your long comments! It means the absolute world to me that you take the time to connect with me so thoughtfully, and that you share your own story so honestly too. This is why I do what I do, because I love the connection that comes with it, with wonderful people like you! I did have a bit of itching post surgery, but most of that was to do with hair regrowing. There were some times though, where buts of me were super senistive to touch. When my frst displaced sensations started on my penis, they were quite sharp and not entirely pleasurable! Its all settled now, and sensation continues to increase all the time. I did find it really strange to get used to having so much in my pants. In some ways I was used to that, as I used the peecock device beforehand. But, having your own flesh fill youur pants is quite different! I returned to yoga after my first stage and had to get used to subtly shifting Finn Jr. around so that he wasnt in the way of certain poses! And yes, on an excercise bike I have to shift about so Im not sat on my penis or on the pump box, but again, this is all things I got used to pretty quickly. I love these questions, they are all great for the book and some are already in there! Backdoor pleasures is on my list to do. Im still working out exactly how to tackle the topic....but I will! I developed a sudden love of it post stage 2. hated the idea befoehand! Have you tried douching? That can really help, especially if you have IBS. And, using a small dildo can help, building up slowly to bigger sizes. Always lots of water based lube too. Its amazing you have a trans doctor, how awesome is that!!! I cannot wait for you to read the book! Im not sure if you are already subscribed, but I have a newsletter and there will be more details of the book in there too. Plus its another way to get more of me. You can subscribe here (its free!) eepurl.com/dM7Zw2

[@pmbluemoon]

@@FinnTheInfinncible Awesome for all the extras and advice, thank you Finn! I'm so happy to have connected with someone like you willing to help out with the intricate details of transitioning, you have no idea how much I appreciate your help. I'm glad that sharing my experiences can help out as well. We're all going through "uncharted territory" right now, we're kind of like the "We're doing this and posting it to help out those that are down the lines" that will have better ideas and ways of surgeries, transitions and such, it makes me happy that we can help out other generations after us have a better experience for sure! 👏🌟 I will be trying out your suggestions safely and gently just to make sure my bum is safe and doesn't get angry at me lol! 🥰 Much love to you and stay safe! I thank you for the link as well 😁👍⭐

[@cherjohnson5807]

Thank you Finn most interesting 👍

[@FinnTheInfinncible]

Thanks for watching and for commenting!

[@christopherfournier5499]

Hey mate! I have a very personal question that I need to ask you.

[@FinnTheInfinncible]

Happy to help if I can! Pop me a message ko-fi.com/finlaygames/commissions

[@AndersWatches]

Hey Finn! I don’t know if you ever bottom, but if you do, I wondered if you could talk about the differences in feeling post-vaginectomy during anal penetration? I know that a lot of the pleasure from anal for afab bodies comes from how thin the wall is so other internal bits are also stimulated. But if one no longer has those parts, can it still be pleasurable beyond external or shallow stimulation? I can’t seem to find anybody talking about it but it seems like something that should be talked about.

[@FinnTheInfinncible]

You are not the first person to ask for a video on that, and I have a LOT to say on the topic, just trying to work out how I can best approach it publically! But......I will......

[@DRockTransMan]

Thank you Finn for making this video! I have conflicting thoughts myself on this topic, as someone who occasionally enjoys batcave parking😂 I do think though in the long run having it closed for business would relieve the dysphoria of everyday life.

[@FinnTheInfinncible]

Hi my friend, yes I can relate to the conflict. However now, having chosing to close the batcave, the pleasure is so much better! But, I am also glad that I took the time to work through my descions. Having stage one allowed me to become far more certain as to what was needed in stage two

[@mauriziavilla3958]

My dear Finn, thanks to share your live with us. I can only imagine the hard period you lived, this is a very very hard decision, irreversible and the sexuality is important, it gives us a sort of balancing (I don’t know if this is the right word). I admire you because you’ve never lost your smile and humor with us, also in that hard period, Sooo......live to the fullest your happyness! Much love to you! 😘👍

[@FinnTheInfinncible]

Bless your heart, I love finding your comments! Much love!

[@channelmix6838]

How much is metoidioplasty

[@FinnTheInfinncible]

That all depends on where you have it done and who by!

[@reubenbryant]

Do you mind if I pinch the word bat cave? I absolutely can’t say the proper word. And I rather like this way of referring to it.

[@FinnTheInfinncible]

Of course!

[@FinnTheInfinncible]

I mean of course not if that wasnt clear! Happy to help!words can really help us to manage difficult feelings. Just be sure to let folks know of my awesome video from which the word came! 😜

[@reubenbryant]

FinnTheInfinncible I always let people know of your awesome videos anyway. But I’ll be sure to specifically mention this one. And alternative words for things we cannot say makes a huge difference. Thanks 😁.

[@FinnTheInfinncible]

My absolute pleasure!

[@ollieoolllliiee]

Very helpful video, thanks Finn c:

[@FinnTheInfinncible]

Very glad to be of service my friend, thank you for watching!

[@mayhmmaydn]

Oooooo that was awesome love!! Smootchies n coodles

[@FinnTheInfinncible]

Thank you! Much love!

[@technopoptart]

alternative title; is evicting bruce wayne right for you?

[@christopherfournier5499]

You are awesome!

[@FinnTheInfinncible]

And you are so kind! Thank you and thanks for watching!

[@travismaupin6617]

You look stunning it's been love the longer beard

[@FinnTheInfinncible]

Why thank you so much! Chris recently cut my hair....but l wont let him touch my beard!

[@swinngingfromtherooftops]

Finally first for something

[@FinnTheInfinncible]

Ah yay! Hello!

[@Sunflower-Boy]

Who was your surgeon?

[@FinnTheInfinncible]

St Peters Andrology in the UK. More info here ---> kzbin.info/aero/PL-xdbMjLqelIYaTrgQ-jo4uAJxeu2QvBL

[@sidiculous8869]

You definitely are my favorite trans youtuber. Since you so handsome I sometimes forget you trans

[@FinnTheInfinncible]

Ah how kind! Thank you!

[@hithisisme6332]

That's probably a really well intended comment but being trans doesn't make you ugly and being cis doesn't make you beautiful! For most trans people 'you look so good I never thought you were trans' is not a compliment but rather an insult. Just something to keep in mind

[@FinnTheInfinncible]

Thanks for adding this point. You are entirely right of course. People are often well intended, but don't realise what they are implying when they say 'you look good'. Or 'you dont look trans'. Passing is not a requirement of being trans, not all trans people pass, and not all trans people want too. Passing is often touted as acceptance by cis folks, that to be accepted,we must look cisgender. We are who we are regardless of how we look!

[@pmbluemoon]

@@FinnTheInfinncible I personally like being "in the middle" where people can't really tell what I am, it strikes up interesting conversations sometimes. If I know someone is genuinely curious/interested in my story, I'll tell them anything they have a question about. If they're only asking to be a gossip or to be a snoop, I give them a surface answer that keeps them guessing. Very good points for everything in this thread of comments!

[@suzannel2414]

❤

[@mawmawmakeup3602]

I'm a straight cis gendered female... I found myself on this side of youtube as a curiosity more than anything... found your channel. It's interesting.. I dont know much about trans people .. and sometimes I may offend people unintentionally. But I dont come from a bad place. My feelings surrounding it all is people should do whatever makes THEM happy What other people do with their genitals has nothing to do with me.. Anyways ; you are a very good looking dude. Congrats on your transition. I have a question. Do you have any issues now? With your lower surgery.. does everything function normally.. do you have sensation and can finish? Do you "finish' like a normal dude? Sorry if these are invasive questions. Like I said I'm just curious.

[@rodolfoerdogan4983]

Lol @ the batcave

[@eneedham789]

Bat cave 😂😂

[@FinnTheInfinncible]

😜