Rich and DawnCheré Wilkerson - Asking For A Friend: Q&A Part 1: Singleness, Dating and Sex

Whether single, dating, married, or "it’s complicated," the reality is we all crave guidance and answers for our relationships. What better place to seek counsel than a community of believers?
Concluding the "Asking for a Friend" collection, Manouchka Charles moderates as Pastors Rich and DawnCheré Wilkerson take the hot seat alongside a few members of the VOUS community to answer some of our relationship FAQs centered around the topics of Dating, Sex and Singleness.
Asking the right questions is an important foundation to build meaningful relationships. Healthy things tend to grow as we plant them in good soil. Our relationships are no different, we will see them blossom into all they are designed to be when we encourage a nurturing environment.
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[@55phe]

“If he’s gonna chase you , you have to be moving.” DawnCheré!! 👏🏽

[@milton5417]

Phe 🤯

[@eunicemuguku9638]

I felt that also

[@kiileetsoku2397]

Eh uh yeyi !!! Haha those aren’t even words.😭😭

[@jesusiskingofmyheart]

This!! 🙌🏼💯❤️

[@vanessaloy1049]

Where does the Bible teach that?

[@samantha199426]

“Purity is not a work of your flesh..it’s a work of his grace” ☄️🌟

[@faithhenry5003]

Amen

[@platypuspatty6057]

Side note: The host was made for this! Job well done!

[@zoeolawore1932]

right! she's so charismatic

[@maxinec1616]

She really did a fantastic job!

[@ThatRoyalKid123]

Two minutes in and you can tell she’s TALENTED!

[@elledeanne462]

Oh Manouchka is amazing. A true woman of YHWH 🥰🥰

[@nasland38]

But there was one couple who didn't even speak

[@aggiesoldier]

Yes there are a lot of cheers for her singleness because IT IS OK TO BE SINGLE! Nothing wrong with you if you are still single.

[@kays4127]

Tony Rowan What was the reason they haven’t found a spouse ?

[@MiaCarter7]

True! Unless you don’t want to be. Then it sucks lol

[@vanessaloy1049]

Unless you want to be a mega church pastor, then you must be married.

[@aggiesoldier]

@@vanessaloy1049 must? Yeah where in the Bible does it say that.

[@vanessaloy1049]

@@aggiesoldier It doesn’t, but if you’ll notice, it’s practically unheard of for high-profile pastors or ministry leaders to be unmarried.

[@nicolegordon129]

We elevate chemistry over commitment. So true.

[@tenesiwaather7365]

What about the couple in the middle? :(

[@alexeejc]

Wow I loved that.. if you want someone to chase you, you have to be moving!!

[@cendaleebundy104]

I really needed this message being a 20 year old who has never dated or anything I have been feeling like something is wrong with me and that I'll always be alone.Just hearing these works of wisdom and encouragement is all I needed.

[@sarahkamara5689]

HI Cendsi, please don't rush into ....Use this time to focus on yourself and God. God bless x

[@thatcrazyxoxo]

I’m in a similar situation. It’s hard. This was a much needed message

[@marcerisa2391]

I'm right there with you. I'm 22

[@estheringabire2597]

Same and I'm 21

[@Amanda-sv9ro]

My first date was when I was 19. I felt like all my friends had bfs and guys who were pursuing them. And so I went online to find someone for myself. I regretted that date so much. A decade later, because of soul ties, we are still hurting each other, on and off again. "Guard your heart with all diligence" girl. You are called to be set apart. God knows your heart but will try to protect you until the right person comes along.

[@Essie914]

Wish the other couples could have been incorporated in the discussions a bit more.

[@VOUSChurch]

thank you! This is our first time doing a Q&A on a Sunday. Good to know you want to hear from more couples in our community.

[@esterabellaa]

I agree! I was waiting on other couples to sharing some of their stories and advice. However Rich and DawnChere did a great a job at answering the questions. I also noticed that there was a time limit - just a suggestion, there's nothing wrong if the sermon goes a little ahead of time schedule, sometimes the Holy Spirit works more powerfully and reflects more of it's wisdom and knowledge if we just allow it to - if everyone who was there weren't so time consumed, I think everyone would have had enough time to contribute. But thank you to everyone who was there, these questions and answers were amazing! I am grateful that we have such platforms to listen to such powerful and great messages! Thank you.

[@jaidabug9460]

The media definitely does effect the way you view love. I use to have a void in my chest and I would try and fill it with relationships and would still be empty but once I spent time with the lord that void disappeared. Amen

[@jillyproduction4813]

Saaame thing! Totally agree 🧡

[@lisamgonzales73]

So my husband and I have known each since we were 14; together off and on then moved in together at age 17 married at age 22 and still fighting... lol fighting to keep our marriage going strong. We are now 47.

[@oaklandsoldier8520]

Wow. I can never imagine that. I'm 35 years old and never had a true girlfriend.

[@jondstewart]

Tony Rowan it’s 2020 and he’s 70 and never dated or had a GF. How has he survived that long without being accused of being a complete social outcast or the F word?

[@Bani347]

@@oaklandsoldier8520 and why's that? Are you a shy person or something like that ?

[@tsenge4763]

When I grow up I want to be Dawn Chere....beautiful on the inside and strong and wise in God!!!!

[@jondstewart]

Tsenge she was a stuck-up little bleep in all the times I remembered her at First Assembly of God. But she was just a preteen and the pastors daughter. She was entitled to be that way!

[@FishRFrenzNotFood]

"dont give cliches to actual wounds." "im not just gonna go through this but im gonna grow through this"

[@FishRFrenzNotFood]

Amen!

[@sdfoster1785]

"if you want him to chase you, you gotta be moving" 😝❤️💯

[@mutelarsorhougbe4606]

‘There is just one, but that’s the one you choose.’ Naaa that’s good🙌🏽🙌🏽🙌🏽🙌🏽

[@wshelby83]

Mute LarsOrhougbe4 I totally agree with you!!

[@rphunzl]

"they say this is the LIT service, so imma TURN IT UPPPP."

[@sietesavone]

I loved this! One thing I think about...I think you CAN choose but if God is not involved you can easily be moving off of your flesh...Off of past trauma...or familiarity. God's word says acknowledge Him in all of your ways...Meaning His "yes" or "no" matters just as much, if not even more, than yours. Just a thought. So although you want to say YES to a person, if God (who still speaks) says NO then things will truly be all thrown off because God's PERFECT will is being hindered because of the PERMISSIVE WILL. God selected ESTHER intentionally...for the king...and for the kingdom. Vashti was the KING'S selection but we see she was dishonorable which was contrary to God's heart for women and households...GOD'S choice was Esther..and she brought GREAT protection and favor to the king's kingdom. So I think it's important to ALWAYS include God especially in something as weighty and life-altering as marriage and courtship.

[@ginamonique]

Siete Savone I absolutely agree with you! We are free to make choices, including who we choose to be in a relationship with, but Jesus must be at the center of it all 😊

[@eileenkuks]

I agree with you, we have to be in the perfect will of God not in the permissive will of God. Let's go back to the bible not go by our sense knowledge. Romans 12:1-2 “…And be not conformed to this world: but be ye transformed by the renewing of your mind, that ye may prove what is that good, and acceptable, and perfect, will of God.” When we decide to let God to follow our choices, the path we choose is ours. God doesn’t strike us dead or throw a lightning bolt at us when we dont seek his way. He simply lets us live the path we’ve chosen and we later deal with the consequences. If you want to enjoy full blessings stay in his perfect will not his permissive will.

[@wachera]

I feel like the couples at the back were totally forgotten. Could y’all do a sequel? But then give time for the couples to actually share as well?

[@wrightabbey]

For real! DawnChere monopolized the conversation way too much :(

[@melaniemartin4319]

🤐🤐🤐🤩🤩🤩

[@amyschuhmann1814]

Manouchka is soo hilarous!! :D She's doing a great job leading through this, smart and beautiful lady!

[@EdzDayuha]

Pastor Rich & DawnCHere, thank you for being God's voice on hot issues like this, for such a time as this! Im 32 now, and Never been in a relationship. There were so many times that I felt lonely and empty but thank you for making me realize that singleness is one of the most fruitful seasons in our life. I'm mentoring some singles right now, and I impart the wisdom that I learned from you both. Thank you for always emphasizing the beauty and blessing of our Season right now as Singles. Your life as a power couple is giving me a clear vision of what I desire and aim for in my future married life. you are such a Great inspiration!

[@roar007]

This is really problematic, that you are mentoring other singles and you have not had a relationship at age 32. Sorry, I don't mean to denigrate you and what you are attempting to do, but this is a little above your level of expertise. I certainly would take what you would counsel me on with a grain of salt. But I do wish you well, I just don't see that is something that others can avail themselves of, because there will be questions and situations that you would not be able to chime in on, by virtue of your lack of experiencing them. But I nevertheless wish you well in your efforts to make a difference in other people's lives.

[@EdzDayuha]

roar007 first of all, im a Certified LifeCoach so you cannot tell me that what I’m doing is problematic. Secondly, it would have been better if u asked me first what i mentor the singles about. I believe I HAVE experience in what im imparting to them. I encourage and inspire them to Wait, to have faith, to STAY PURE and to develop and maximize their potentials while they are in the wait. And just because i said that I’ve never been in a relationship DOES NOT mean I don’t have any experience about this issue - dating, courtship, etc.. I am not an alien to never understand and encounter such issues. So rude of you to say such unkind words and judge me when in fact you don’t even know me yet and what I really do.

[@roar007]

Sorry that you took the comment in the worst possible way because there was never any intention to denigrate as I even stated, and I did wish you well. But I have to say that I was asking questions and making assertions that apparently were not comfortable, or went under your skin, for some inexplicable reason. So neither was it an intellectual schmooze session where warm fuzzies were given freely because we were all sympatico with all points of the discussion. But it does really look like I didn't have to ask what you do because I guessed right, associate religious piety with virginal status and repress every aspect of your sexuality with guilt-tripping and shaming. That has really become the cause celebre with the Christian right thinkers of today so it seems. If you had also read Linda Kay Klein's book Pure: Inside the Evangelical Movement That Shamed a Generation of Young Women and How I Broke Free then you could give a balanced point of view on this subject. But let me guess - you didn't read it. Sexual purity is a crock but sexual integrity is not and there is a big difference. Purity is for measuring water, particulate matter in the air and soil contaminants with meters and gauges not human intentions, motivations, and actions. Approaching a subject with honesty doesn't necessarily result in an efficacious and expunging dialogue with clarity and concision. You are still young but a woman of 42 or 52 would look back on her life and wonder what went wrong. These ideas of yours are all time dependent and would mean even less as the years pile up on you (didn't mean to make this sound so intractable). I hope they don't for your sake. And congrats to your achievement of Certified Life Coach, to be honest with you I had to google to know what it was but it does seem comprehensive enough for many to avail themselves of in whatever life situations and circumstances they might find themselves. So good luck to you with that.

[@abelhara2835]

Eden Rose Dayuha Bless your heart 😊🙏🏼

[@LiztheLark]

Hi Roar007. I did read that book by Linda Kay Klein, and I have grappled with all these 'sexual purity; ideas. I have since rejected these 'abstinence' educators and religious leaders that I do believe are exploiting the sexuality of young women. They are entangled in all these past gender roles and are loaded with anti-feminist sentiments all over the place. It doesn't matter to me that these fundamentalist church groups and evangelical cults think this way even if they do exert some sway with regard to influence, but it's just not as much as one would think. It makes us all so defensive and too reserved that we just cannot seem to be self-assertive when approaching men and really feel comfortable and confident, which is the most important thing, in just having conversation with guys. I'm 33 now so I've been through that, it's in my past, and I really like the place I've landed as a still-young woman that is open to learning about life. I've had a long-time beau for a few years now and we do include lovemaking as part of our relationship and it seems to be working for us. Because we are mature and see eye-to-eye on so many things we have respect for each other. Christian -originated guilt tripping and shaming as you called it, is so counterproductive and meaningless now that I'm in a healthy place in my life. That's why I previously stated that it really doesn't matter how any one takes these ideas, because no matter what side you land on you have to apply them the best that you can if they are to work for you and produce health and happiness. Take care now and stay well.

[@shannelnewton9236]

Thanks DawnChere, you're the bomb preaching lady. Live a life full of security, full of joy. If he's going to chase you. You got to be moving... Preach! Love love...

[@iseunifeoluwaakinkugbe330]

Pastor DawnChere is on 🔥🔥🤯 Her wisdom is out of this world!!🧠🗣

[@jondstewart]

Iseunifeoluwa Akinkugbe she’s a crony. Her father was buddies with David Wilkerson and she married into the right family. She was a stuck-up little blank when I attended that Shreveport church. I tried to have friendly conversation with her at around 27 picking up my toddler from the daycare when she was around 11 and she ignored me. Megachurches are full of this. It’s unlikely she’s experienced real life.

[@iseunifeoluwaakinkugbe330]

Jon Stewart That’s a bit harsh. You can’t judge her based of her past; Jesus has never done that to us

[@Tastendream]

@@jondstewart I've seen several comments of yours like this. I hope you've finally healed. You can't be hating so much on someone, yet, keep watching all their videos

[@jackattack8916]

But what about us who aren't lonely but still single? Or am I hiding loneliness? Wow what an amazing sermon! Really helped me in the season I'm in. AV36 yr old single mother who sometimes doesn't get invited to gatherings because it's a "couples" gathering. Thank you! I needed to hear this!

[@emmanueloyalabu2328]

Our 1st priority is growing in our relationship with God 🕊💫

[@robzee5038]

Amen ! A relationship with our almighty Father in heaven is the only relationship that will ever complete and fulfil you and he will lead you to the right person at the right time if you are lead by his Holy Spirit and trust him in the process.

[@josieelectric1330]

This is wisdom. And exactly what I been walking through as a single and never married 48 yr old woman. I agree with everything spoken today. As much as I love Jesus, it would be nice if we could take my husband to be to the movies with us .. 😝😊

[@SOI-wl2lo]

Ooh, Pastor Dawn-Chére 😍❤️. Goodness, I love her, I could honestly just sit at her feet and listen for aaagessssssss. She's such a gift & powerhouse ❤️💪🏽

[@Jazzberry101]

BEST SERMON EVER!!!! Thank you all for speaking on the fact that women should not take the man role in pursuing amen!

[@jesusiskingofmyheart]

So true! 💯🙌🏼

[@prettysimplemusic]

You guys are knocking it out of the park with these videos in EVERY WAY!!! Real Life knowledge, with so much laughter and realism!!!!! 🙏❤️💯🔥🔥🔥🔥

[@VOUSChurch]

Thanks so much!!

[@rabeccamutheu2120]

"Purity is not a work of your flesh but a work of His grace". Worrrrdddddd!!!!!🙌🙌😭😭

[@8mints134]

This is awesome!! Would Have Loved to Hear More from the Other Couples. Especially The 42 Year Marriage Of Wisdom!

[@VOUSChurch]

Noted!

[@WarrenWarSantos]

"In the presence of God, he meets you and gives you what you need" -DawnCheré Wilkerson. Amen! Thank you, Vous Church!

[@jasmineadjei2552]

This was powerful, just beautiful! DC boy the softest voice yet she’s gangster! Get it!

[@lidiapinales9429]

Absolutely love that I came across y’all! 🥺❤️ This was a huge blessing to me. Love it!

[@Miikarrab]

This is so good. Man... it’s like the questions literally followed my train of thought! So good!

[@bymonicacastro]

Rocky is the cutest! Loved his story 😭 Glory to God!

[@shielamariejara9087]

I feel like this is gonna be one of my favorite sermon of the year. it really shook me.

[@zoebellanfante5017]

Its funny how this pop up on my feed and i know god wanted me to watch this thank you for being obedient to speak on these topics and being open and honest.

[@DamianGriffin_]

Just started following this church. I'm loving the wisdom!!!

[@NicoleD733]

I like my Vous people. Great words!

[@telitagrant]

This was such a real and relevant conversation on this topic. Thanks Pastors

[@neya292]

I love that he mentioned how people say, "Date Jesus". I get it, we are to draw closer to Jesus, however, practically, that answer doesn't suffice all of the time.

[@charlenemaeder8027]

whits water SUPER LIKE! =) I tried that for years and met no one!! You have to meet people intentionally if you aren’t. Period.

[@neya292]

@@charlenemaeder8027 So true! During this quarantine- I realized that I have just been waiting for God to drop him on my door step. Lol. What brought me to that realization is that even before the quarantine, I was already living like I was quarantined but expecting things to magically change in my life! I have to, as you & that Pastor said, be intentional. I'm working on it & drawing closer to Jesus at the same time! :-)

[@charlenemaeder8027]

whits water good for you! SO many people in the church over spiritualize it while the years go BY. I wish I could go back in time and not just “wait on God.” I’m in my 30’s now and had never had a boyfriend until super recently when I finally just stepped outside the church and went out with guys from online dating. I didn’t even know I was pretty. No guy at church had every even looked my way. I encourage you to take bold steps and really go for it! :)

[@neya292]

@@charlenemaeder8027 I am in my 30s too! I wish that I realized it sooner as well. I am 34, my last relationship ended 3.5 years ago and until now, I have just been waiting. I will be praying for us and others who are in our boat, tonight! Hey, maybe I will give online dating a try! Yes you are pretty & not just bc a guy thinks so!

[@charlenemaeder8027]

whits water yes and amen! Also, feel free to friend me on Facebook girl! it’s my name. :)

[@rol1011]

The wisdom! God is so good🙏🏾❤️

[@Rae-gf6kg]

Rich and Dawn are so relatable. Very transparent and down to earth... Thank you! Also, thank you for having a diverse panel. Great video!

[@christinawatkinsyoutube]

So awesome! Thankful for this channel so I can be inspired all the way over in Berlin

[@VOUSChurch]

Great to hear!

[@heavenboundc]

This was Awesome !!! Thank you Pastor And Lady Wilkerson ! God Bless!

[@paulmillr1]

Great series.

[@marykilong2755]

Really blessed I found this channel 🙏❤️

[@victoriauwera1496]

God bless Y'all

[@ching-hangcheung5953]

Powerful and insightful. I needed to hear this so thank you.

[@jasd4704]

“Purity is a mindset” LOVE this

[@bettywilliams3372]

God is Sovereign ✨

[@nadiakaym9547]

So so good! Thank you for this!

[@KaylaCaroline]

"Purity is not a work of your flesh, it's a work of His grace." SO GOOD!!!

[@denisebay5800]

Love this conversation ❤❤🙏🏽 God bless youu

[@raymondong349]

Thank you for this. Blessed me so much. Sending love from Singapore!

[@deborakamitanji8602]

Thank you for uploading this. So much wisdom

[@VOUSChurch]

Glad it was helpful!

[@jtsmith451]

This was so good! Gonna have this on REPEAT

[@katereaves8710]

Thank you so much for this. It really helps. ❤️

[@queenm5394]

Amen🤗 you cannot threaten to leave each other it does not work. 💯

[@stacysharena]

Such a good talk 🙌🏾🙌🏾

[@kristinakader1940]

Thank you for sharing 🤍 it's really helped me to grow in my faith ❤️

[@tr2713]

so good, I needed this

[@angelmartinez9733]

Spanish subtitles needed. Awesome q&a

[@yourfavegirl2345]

Wow 🤩 I loved this!!! I wish the video was longer. Please have more Q&As in the future.

[@deejea5413]

met my husband at 16/17 and 2 kids..and 13 yrs later we are still crazy in love. God's grace has been upon us!!! ups and downs has made us so much stronger!

[@jesusiskingofmyheart]

Such words of wisdom! 😭🙌🏼❤️ So glad I came across this video in my season of singleness. Thank you Holy Spirit for leading me here! ✝️✨

[@Chryslerdealership]

Amazing wisdom!!❤ this helped me so much👍

[@qreat_things4846]

I like this panel. I learn a lot from sermons but I learn even more from panels

[@Miss_Kinya_]

This was so good. I've learnt so much. I only wish the other couples were given equally as much time so we could learn from their experiences as well.

[@sheisstrongpodcast]

Love me some vous church and them teaching us some serious stuff praise God

[@go_me_]

Thank you, pastor Rich and DC

[@unravel-win8783]

Yes Rocky! You are the man MAN!

[@ashleyhernandez7577]

SO AMAZING!!!💜

[@kulolamwangeka3946]

This is sooooooooo gooood!!!!

[@fabial7547]

❤💛💚I needed to hear this tonight

[@daniellea7005]

This is so helpful - I like this pastor

[@shanieabejuela8833]

Praise God for all your lives! Especially to Pastor Rick! 🥺💗 Thank you po!!!

[@emploridel]

Thank you so much for this. 😍

[@anikamassey6479]

Amennn 🙌🙌🙌🙌 i was so blessed.. Having personal relationship with JESUS is the best thing I have ever had.. HE completes me🙌🎊

[@sharaskeete3014]

Amen!!🙌🏾🙏🏾😊 Complete in Christ!

[@Enjoyinglife53]

This is so good.

[@thekhakiobserver3128]

Wow this was so good. You all took broad swords to some of the biggest lies and misconceptions of the enemy and culture. Thank you for sharing this!

[@zoebellanfante5017]

im typing now and never even realize now today i watch this before because how can u forget a message god give you, but iam thankful iam in a place to fully surrender to what god has for me , there is power in the name of jesus

[@brotherleoalvarado7099]

Thank You Brother Rocky Old School Young Soul

[@breeb5913]

VOUS church!!!❤️❤️❤️❤️

[@ChattingWithCarli]

This was sooo beautiful and I'm blessed as I am a young 22-year-old believer. I would love to see a black couple up there hopefully just to portray that we have healthy and Godly relationships within that community as well ! I will continue to support VOUS Church y'all are amazing!

[@hellomanouchka]

We had different couples all day! So much diversity in our community thankfully. We love you!

[@ChattingWithCarli]

Manouchka Charles that’s amazing ! love you Manou ! Heard your story on Jackson Cherry’s album and was amazed so happy you’re here and great role model for Haitian girls everywhere. 🤍

[@kira2742]

Did you check out Mike and Natalie Todd's 10yr anniversary video or Q&A session? they're so sweet!

[@vitushka01]

So this video kept popping up on my recommendations yesterday I avoided it for a reason cause I thought it would be cringy and all I’m so grateful I actually gave it a chance and it truly did prove me wrong Thank You God for actually letting me watch this and thank You for using YT as a platform to give me this message

[@VOUSChurch]

Amen! So glad to hear that it helped you! Share it with a friend!

[@cynthiamonclaire1]

Amen i feel like i neeed this word cause i been feeling like its me but its not anymore when i heard this .. Its beautiful love this. ❤❤❤👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏

amazing content

[@sandradrille5360]

Great sermon🙏❤️

[@innnnak]

just wow. thank you

[@GregJBurgess]

So so good. lots of great wisdom here.

[@VOUSChurch]

Glad you enjoyed it

[@jonahchikezie8347]

My goodness, this is how to host a show. Well done.

[@toshinaro2666]

I loved it

[@bettymofokeng3404]

Wow what a great eye opening discussion thank you pastor Rick and your beautiful wife ❤️❤️❤️

[@perezwillie-nwobu3269]

Love this! This is amazing for the youth and people who are getting to know Christ. I just wish I also heard from the black couples as well.

[@lindacharlien9282]

wowww..i love so much this....

[@malinadsouza4854]

I just saw the movie marriage story just normalized divorce while you still love someone.... And i truly believe so many issues can Be solved but end up in divorce, as it is normalized. I wish people really realize the value of their marriage. I just saw another sermon on Model home by td jakes. This message also talks about commitment.

[@rashadbrownmitchell7136]

“Are we doing this” 😭😭😁. Hilarious. That was a very powerful discussion on a topic that hAs been perverted. S/O to Vous Church and there engaging and warming energy. Will make sure to check out some more vids. God bless

[@cortneywebb3741]

Dropping Jewels!

[@nasonakauzeni8156]

Thank you for all that was shared. Maybe it was an issue with time but please have time allocated for each couple to speak, you had a couple on the panel that didn’t get a chance to share whatever it was that God could have placed on their hearts too.