Richard Reeves - “Of Boys and Men” & Reframing Debates About Gender | The Daily Show

[@EmrysMerlin8807]

There was a time not too long ago where this conversation would have been literally impossible to have. Bravo

[@avaleen]

This is such a brilliant conversation. What a brave, powerful and productive posture to take on this issue. Our society would benefit from a willingness to have more important hard conversations like this with openness and levity.

[@agilemind6241]

This was a pathetic conversation - a man looking weak and scared of being called out by a feminist, while saying not to blame feminists, while also blaming feminists. Seriously now? What's happened to men that the only ones I see in media are rage-fulled idiots, creepy weirdos, or those scared of shadows? hbomberguy, folding ideas, and shaun are all more impressive men and trying to provide a positive way forwards for men in the 21st century.

[@kyledavis5912]

This is a conversation that fathers and mothers, needed to have with thier sons, about 45 years ago. Societal change starts from within the home, always. Ideals are passed generationally. Learn this one particular trait from your grandfather (because he does --- well) but also this other trait from your sister (because she does --- better than others) ...as a child and teen you need multiple examples to learn from in order to find the balance later on in life, of a semi-well adjusted person.

[@TheEvolver311]

Lol most kids grow up barley interacting with their parents they are to busy working pay check to pay check

[@kyledavis5912]

@TheEvolver311 You're absolutely right, I won't try to argue against that. But I did say 45 years ago and that would've been when one earner households were still quite common. Never the less, this is one big reason in how we got here. As distracted, tired, unwilling parents unengaged with their children and teaching the nuanced things about themselves that nor school or friendships couldn't. Working tirelessly paycheck to paycheck is super rough, been there...but as a parent, you don't (or *shouldn't) have a choice but to also put energy into your children. A lot of people used that as an excuse and now we have a generation of men that have no awareness of what it means to be positive influence in masculinity....and so they looked elsewhere; and found a false representation of manhood in a spray tan diety.

[@Hendrixski]

It's also a conversation we have to have with our wives and daughters about no longer ignoring the inequalities faced by men.

[@TheLongGreenLight]

We have to rise together! Or we don't rise at all! Yes!

[@emilyoud5190]

Yeah, if I remember HIStory correctly, there are a lot of cultures that did really well even when woman were bound to the house, like in the birthplace of democracy: Athens. So, no don't like the argument. But do wholeheartedly believe in a world of freedom, peace and prosperity for all.

[@andretoth]

This guy is is an incredible scholar and doing such important work, thanks for having him on

[@gregoryisom7741]

Why would they if they didn't lose an election. don't assume this station actually cares about anything but the next election.

[@pekka75]

I couldn`t agree more! 💪

[@coreywall1977]

I am surprised to see this conversation occurring like this. Respect.

[@jayff0000]

I feel like he is the best or at least the most diplomatic at talking about this stuff - which is important because if you don't have basically a perfectly fair frame around anything gender related many people will rush to stop listening and retreat to their own flawed and biased perspectives about us versus them, etc.

[@DmGray]

Honesrly, kinda disagree. The man has to bend over backwards to be the most diplomatic and inclusive of women's issues at all times. This IS a comedy interview, obviously, so the comedic exaggeration and silliness from Desi is on brand... but can you REALLY imagine women's issues needing so much extra context? I've been discussing gender politics and men's rights online for around a decade. Things are WAY better now than they used to be... but some accountability should really be taken by feminists. THe man here very diplomatically suggestred that the refusal to talk about these issues left a vacuum. There was no "refusal" there was outright hostility. I watched as men's issues were VERY successfully taken over by the right wing, who offer no solutions and are objectively worse in every metric for men, while the left cheered it on. Last election was (hopefully) a wakeup call. But some of us have been sounding the alarm for YEARS. And being called every name you can imagine for it. Just remember the rhetoric about "Bernie bros" Look up "self made man" by Norah Vincent (and how little traction it got) Look up Cassie Jaye's "the red pill" Folks have been trying for a long time to point out the flaws in gender politics discussions. It really hasn't been men who are unwilling to listen or compromise.

[@LanceCorporalKitty]

@@DmGray I here you completely. I am a woman and I wouldn't call myself a feminist but I obviously have a stronger lean towards women's issues. However, what i've recognised is that academic conversations are great and very necessary, but in the real lives of women many things haven't changed for the better. Some of those women are then chronicaly online discussing their personal issues and seeing EVERYTHING through the lens of their personal trauma and woe betide you if you fail to disagree with that narrative. Women's issues become popular and lucrative both financially and socially and generate a type of cultural capital that become addictive because it feeds the vindication of the aforementioned personal traumas. It's actually a hot mess! This then does leave a massive void for those with nefarious purposes to swoop in and pick up the boys and men who feel left behind and have no other framework other than the Andrew Tates of teh world to figure out how to be. We NEED to have these converstaions, all of us, but we need to have them from a place of understanding that sits outside of our persoanl traumatic experiences otherwise the listening will never take place and nothing will ever get better. BUT, it's because of all of that framing and the long history of female subjugation why I totally understand the necessity for Reeves to be so diplomatic. He won't be heard if he isn't.

[@timblank4432]

This was great. I understand the criticism in comments, but to get this sort of conversation at this level is fantastic.

[@p382742937423y4]

Its sad that this is somehow a win. People are killing themselves, but we have to first talk about how we respect women, before we can talk about the problem.... its sad really. And the jokes are completely inappropriate

[@Rowsy91]

@p382742937423y4 lol cmon man you sound so soft

[@aidenkendrick9144]

Great book! Really changed my view of the gender debate and made me approach the issue in a whole new way.

[@fmcg5364]

I was startled when he mentioned wages falling for men. I had to stop the video and look up declining wages for males, what I found was yes, the male wage rates declining the following text in the quotation marks is from Brooking Institute 3-4-2011 "Have Earnings Actually Declined?" "The median wage of the American male has declined by almost $13,000 after accounting for inflation in the four decades since 1969. This is a reduction of 28 percent!" Remember this statement is from 2011, so this 2011 money.

[@Emanon...]

That's a general statement for the US. The average American has become far poorer if you look at purchase power.

[@frydac]

at least the rich got richer ;D

[@TessTearoe-zp5xv]

The rich men beating down other men

[@tv19463]

⁠@@Emanon... might call it the median American if you will

[@ItsJustDan1]

Excellent conversation. Really important stuff.

[@l.t.m.a.6968]

If teachers got a half decent pay in the US , more men would be interested in jointing the profession

[@MatthewTheWanderer]

A LOT of men, including me, are still teachers anyway! What a profoundly ignorant thing to say!

[@frydac]

profoundly even, care to explain? I would guess higher pay would just attract more ppl, including men. Maybe "on average", men prioritize higher pay more than women? I have no clue, I don't have actual stats, but if that is true, than it is not that profoundly ignorant I would think?

[@tallspicy]

Let me get this, women should expect less pay and that is why they are willing to be teachers? Grossly entitled. And in many places teachers make will close to 100 K.

[@MatthewTheWanderer]

@@tallspicy Exactly! I HATE OP's argument. It's ignorant and sexist.

[@JBS512]

@@MatthewTheWanderer He didn't say there weren't a lot of men in education. There is a gender gap, and if we want to attract more men, then the reputation for low pay for hard work is not helping. There may be other reasons, but it's not the ignorant, sexist, worst comment of all time like you are making it out to be. Do you think increased teacher pay wouldn't bring male interest to the field?

[@msam2357]

I really enjoyed this interview. The combination of humour and “charts” level of detail worked well. I do think one of the things we do as a society that is a disservice to the boys and men is that we don’t consistently hold them accountable. We as a society, including parents, often have the attitude of “boys will be boys“ or “that’s just locker room talk” or even some actual reasons that start to sound like an excuse when we say that boys are growing up later. And with “later” this continues with authorities turning a blind eye to domestic violence (regardless of gender, we know the predominant instigator is male). Whereas with girls, they are often told to be these super performers who can’t let anything escape or they’ll be relegated to the dustbin of society. No pressure! Yes, I know there are parents and community who do hold their sons accountable. Keep doing it! We have to weave that further into the tapestry of our society and our expectations of each other. 🫶

[@prof.jezebel]

Yes! and once again we're being told it is women's responsibility to fix it; that when we call out the toxicity, we make it worse; that we need to make men feel better about themselves, not worse. Poor babies.

[@Ziggster625]

Well Said Richard!

[@dharmakaurkhalsa3923]

Love your interviews Desi. This one is no exception. ❤

[@harrisonjay-l5v]

I've been hearing the phrase 'toxic masculinity' for decades. almost always uttered by women. it's always interesting to ask a woman -- 'so who raised these men?'

[@prof.jezebel]

So it is women's fault these men are toxic? Because it is their job to raise everyone? Wow. And you really can't see the misogyny in your position?

[@GremlinRadiation]

Single mom

[@prof.jezebel]

@@GremlinRadiation The phrase was invented by Robert Bly, who started a men's movement in the 80s. So women are to blame for raising toxic boys and to blame for all men's issues because of calling them toxic. Got it. Yeah, we women are responsible for everything and you guys don't have any accountability.

[@LanceCorporalKitty]

@@GremlinRadiation not always a single mom. And teh mom being unattached to the father shouldn't mean the father is not fathering the son (although i do aknowledge that that does happen due to irrconcilable differences between the parents). Often its traumatised parents who are not focussed on the mental health or developmental behaviour of their sons.

[@lorenzosegote]

This is why young men are gravitating to the right wing. I am a male and a feminist, but I am also aware of toxic femininity. It works both ways. Gender is a spectrum and we treat it as it is a polar term.

[@PassportAdam]

No.. there male and female.

[@andrewstevenson118]

Gender

[@nomis2496]

@@PassportAdam 🤣🤣🙄

[@andrewstevenson118]

Is jen der the same as sax?

[@VermillionRii]

Are you a feminist? You should probably know toxic feminist, the type that actually hate men, are rare and actual feminists want nothing to do with them.

[@noble_sword64]

I don’t know if he addressed this in his book or not but part of the reason why men are not in teaching positions or enrolled in higher education as much has to do with "male flight" where as the proportion of women in a field increases, men actually move away from it and it then becomes seen as a "woman’s job" - which also leads to devaluing and a decrease in pay for such roles.

[@karlyn132]

Bingo. Imo he missed a few things.

[@moralesjjvideo]

You should read the book. As much as some organizations/industries/ companies were non-welcoming to women, the opposite has been true in the teaching organizations (Unions, districts, etc) and many men. Yes, pay more for teachers.

[@rankat1841]

In this particular area, it's not a competition. It's an attempt for understanding.

[@ManinaHarris]

Hey, more men in teaching? up the pay scale for all teachers and stop disrespecting teachers by calling out parents who defend their kid’s bad behavior.

[@suitestheband]

as a former male teacher, the idea that you need a "second income" to make it work is so pervasive. Even the men talk about their bread-winning wives a lot. Which is fine, but like, why does teaching have to be the secondary income job for a man or a woman?

[@streampunksheep]

Its parents fault sit the friend down

[@agilemind6241]

Yes, but also that's not how society works. Gender-biases are so entrenched in society that pay follows gender rather than the other way round. Teachers are poorly paid because it is a women-dominated career, IT jobs are well paid because it is a male-dominated career, when the gender-balance of these fields was reverse so was the pay. We need to have the really hard conversation if we actually want to fix things rather than pointing fingers at each other. Just take a moment to think about why is nursing and teaching female-dominated while doctors and university professors are male-dominated? Because it is all about the societial perception of "caring", caring is associated with women and vehemently not men so careers involving caring for others are seen as women's work. The decline of men in teaching closely parallels the shift from teachers as disciplinarians to teachers as nurturers of student potential. So, if we want to reverse the trend, what do we do? Do we go back to allowing teachers to spank students? Or do we teach men that they can be nurturers too?

[@jgaffney567]

Teacher pay across the country depends on geographic location...is 125k poor pay...in the NYC area this is common with tenure

[@lucasdonahue365]

I'm currently studying to get my Doctorate Nurse Practitioner license in Psychiatry. That will be one more.

[@andrewstevenson118]

That is some decent work. Thank you for advancing humanity.

[@phildg4266]

It's all and only the rich fault. Period... People from every race, creed, culture, gender are struggling 100% because of the RICH... Share their wealth, problem solved, it's not easy but it's that simple yes! 100%

[@AsifKhan-hf9zy]

Elon Musk did share his wealth with the hundreds of stockholders of twitter when he bought it.

[@christianbartl1982]

​@@AsifKhan-hf9zyhow? And if he shared any of his wealth, why did his net worth go up by so much?

[@Hendrixski]

Yet instead of blaming the men and women of the capitalist class, so many people pretend like it's men who are the oppressors. That's part of why young men shifted right: they see wealthy families exploit men for profit (especially with military drafts) and then hear insane theories about how it's men's fault. Blame the rich not the men.

[@craigbelesijr]

@@AsifKhan-hf9zyElon go home and stop commenting on stuff bud

[@AshleyBidensBathTime]

@@AsifKhan-hf9zy Totally worth it. He helped save America. What price can be put on freedom of speech?😃

[@methodsocratic]

Wow. If *only* Jon had encouraged this frankness on TWS late last year. Just watch the last several minutes of that episode: it’s a picture-perfect example of people treating this topic as a zero-sum competition between men & women, as if addressing either issue mutually excludes the other.

[@Xcalator35]

Sorry about my ignorance (I'm not american...) but what is TWS? Thanks

[@Altruistic-General]

@@Xcalator35 The weekly show, Jon Stewart's weekly podcast

[@georgejanzen774]

The episode was a bit lackluster, I agree. The stuff they ended up talking about was interesting as well, but it wasn't what they were supposed to talk about.

[@Gronmin]

Great to see Richard on the show proper after the podcast

[@valerievaughn9219]

Love this guy!!

[@GoodMenstruationAttitude]

Desi's such a great host

[@MoodIndigoFire]

It’s an important discussion and I’ve read the book but I wish it was more solution-focused than recitation of statistics and the problem statement. If Biden promotes more women in STEM and women also have the natural tailwind of pursuit of/desiring education, there is synchronicity. If there was a push for more male teachers, but men have declining education outcomes, there is a headwind inherently in developing more male teachers. Where I live, there are more volunteers that sign up to become BigSisters than BigBrothers…how do you make men also care more about mentoring men?

[@liamrooney5314]

What an insightful and significant interview. And on a comedy show of all places!

[@FlyingDwarfman]

I'm curious if his book and/ or other works go more into plausible causes for the decline in ratio of men succeeding in upper secondary and tertiary schools and ratio of men working in primary and secondary education. I wouldn't be surprised if they are highly tied to the declining working conditions for teachers and from there have become a vicious feedback loop. I, myself, was a teacher for years and got pushed out by the combination of non-living income and toxic work environments.

[@prof.jezebel]

In Canada, we used equity hiring to promote male teachers in the younger grades in the 90s so male applicants are chosen over female applicants. Also, in Canada, teachers are well-paid. We improved the ratio somewhat but male teachers just aren't as interested in teaching younger students. And it didn't make a big difference in educational outcomes for young men.

[@kylehansbrockmann848]

Well this conversation is 10 years too late.

[@TomBeardshaw]

It's never too late, and this conversation was happening 10 years ago... it only just reached a platform where you saw it.

[@frydac]

so, maybe just forget about it? or better late then never?

[@kylehansbrockmann848]

@@frydac whether I think about it or forget it makes no difference

[@kylehansbrockmann848]

@@TomBeardshaw oh, no harm no foul then, those college admission rates will just self correct before the women become infertile

[@ZodyZody]

So refreshing to hear the voice of reason to bring us into a better future!

[@msantos545]

This is an amazing conversation!

[@anonimushbosh]

There’s toxic masculinity and toxic femininity - and if one’s more prevalent or dangerous than the other I have no idea which. Every time we frame something as one gender vs the other we keep making the same mistakes…

[@Dreamtime_958]

it's 99 to 1, not 50 50.

[@SpicyMarshmellow3]

I'm a guy who was trapped in an abusive relationship with a woman for 20 years. Feminism is directly responsible for many of the circumstances that kept me in that position. I've been following Reeves for a while now. This was the best interview he's done. If they were all like this, I'd probably have a more positive opinion of him. But I don't really want him to have the position he's been granted at this point as THE acceptable spokesperson for men's issues. Because he's made it very clear in other interviews that he refuses to acknowledge that men like me exist. He and I are opposed on the issues that matter to me most as a man.

[@Commentator488]

Patriarchy kept you in that position.

[@Yo1297]

Loved the bit about men in education. I may not be a classroom teacher but I do teach after school and it can be just as important. My job is more than just hanging out with kids. It's leaading club and activities and teaching those activities. Very intresting segment.

[@stephen1462]

Scott Galloway makes similar arguments, but Reeves does it in a less abrasive manner and provides some hope for change. His ability to use humor to explain the problem makes the message more receptive to others IMO.

[@prajnachan333]

As a man, I never gave a single thought in my life about "masculinity," and I've done just fine. I am masculine, I don't have to think about it. My mother gave me feminine qualities, too. I live my energy. I don't think about what I do or don't have. I am alive. I don't think I am alive!

[@yin-yang-gal]

Totally agree, and I support your liberated view of yourself. I'm a woman and I clearly have both masculine and feminine qualities. I don't have to think about it either... I seamlessly apply whichever is most effective in any given situation. Its not like life only throws us one kind of experience 😂. We get all kinds of opportunities and experiences, and some are better dealt with through our feminine energy, others through our masculine energy. How is this still such a taboo and edgy subject. Grow up, people! We are both.

[@GremlinRadiation]

Well if it works for you

[@ericgeneric135]

Sounds interesting! I'll add this book to my reading list. 👍

[@Chosen1_of.the.NONexistent_God]

Toxic masculinity, privileges and white fragility are maybe useful in academic context, but used colloquially they become counterproductive.

[@hefoxed]

Use [internalized] misandry instead of toxic masculinity. It's more useful and less stigmatizing.

[@Hendrixski]

Let's be honest: "toxic masculinity" is not used in its academic form, it's used as an insult. It's an insult based on the gender one was assigned at birth. Calling men "toxic" stops dialog. You can't have meaningful conversations after insults are thrown around. Do not use the term toxic masculinity. Ever. If you want the academic equivalent talk about "internalized misandry" and the hatred of men who dare defy traditional gender roles.

[@richardpaquette8429]

Part of the problem is that most people are NOT capable of more than one thought at a time.

[@ethor7676]

This is really great.

[@danaw23]

I just had the same reaction I had when I started reading White Fragility. Thank you for this very important point of view.

[@ZodyZody]

We need a new paradigm about teachers. The pay and benefits need to be better in order to attract the brightest applicants.

[@tclm]

5:54 we need to talk about men’s issues, absolutely. But show me how men’s issues were addressed by Republicans. When did they address men’s issues? Out of all the Democratic policies, only one targeted women. One. For someone to say Dems were only for women is disingenuous and factually incorrect.

[@sykogurl05]

@@tclm 👏👏👏

[@Sitbear]

Republicans of course haven’t addressed any issues. But they talked to men. Republicans are anti-labor, but they won uneducated workers. Same reason.

[@danielessex2162]

They kinda did by right wing grifters. The Andrew Tate's and those other white supremacist losers like Charlie Kirk. These idiot convinced boys that the left had abandoned them for women and women abandoned them. They only way to go was the right where they could be men and the right wing men loved men.

[@Halauris]

It's just like he stated the Democrats are barely speaking about it if they notice it at all. While the Republicans are showing that they've noticed now it doesn't mean they're going to fix the problem, but they're giving attention to the problem.

[@hefoxed]

82 mentions of women/girls in the Dem platform. 4 of men. TheTinMen (on most social media) has a post with more stats and examples of how Kamala's campaign failed to target men/half the population. Her ads that did target at men either appealed to getting men laid or for them to protect their wife/daughters, not to any actual big issues men face.

[@orsygodri1155]

I agree wholeheartedly but it feels like we women are asked again to care about both sides and are expected to follow through on it while men rarely are held to the same standards to follow through. This can lead to a lot of division when one side is constantly held to a different standard. Men need to step up more for young men and show them that toxic masculinity is not the way to go. They should be able to feel vulnerable. Heck, look at ads directed at men. It's showing a very one sided image. TV shows and movies too. Society needs to do better to allow men to be soft and feel their feelings without shaming them for it.

[@prof.jezebel]

Agree 100%! And there is a false equivalency suggested here that men not succeeding is as serious an issue as all the oppression and violence women experience. I am concerned about young men, do work on this issue as parent and educator, but am aware of exactly what you point out: women given way too much responsibility and men none.

[@GremlinRadiation]

What are you talking about? Every single gain women have made in the western world has been with assistance and approval of men. For centuries before that, men fought and died to protect the women in their lives. Was there oppression? Of course, most men were oppressed as well. Only in the warped history of a feminist did women achieve their current place in society without help from men who cared about their circumstances. Yep, I remember the great Battle of the Sexes in the 70's where women all across America bravely fought and died for their rights. I support Women's rights but you feminists are a joke.

[@Martha-q8p1b]

Teachers are not paid enough, which could be why fewer men teach.

[@maddyrosenberg6802]

Precisely. You want to encourage men in a field? Raise salaries. And everyone wins.

[@romabqui]

My kid's first grade teacher makes $115K, more than her dad.

[@FlyingDwarfman]

@@romabqui Where is this?! As someone who had been teaching for years, I can't imagine that being a public school job anywhere in the US. The median pay across the country is significantly less than half that. Even in the highest paying States, teacher salaries will barely push median for all jobs across the country

[@hefoxed]

Men are assumed to be SA-ers/p3dos, that's probably more the issue.

[@TheEvolver311]

​@romabqui so your kid goes to one of the most exclusive private schools in the country because no public school teacher is making that

[@greggswentor5883]

Awesome book. We need more conversation re mature masculinity.

[@cloudbullets]

The Will To Change is also another book I’d recommend next to this one.

[@Starless85]

Awesome to see. Just listened to him on Jordan Harbinger like a month ago.

[@TheCook80]

Thank you a reasonable logical man. BRAVO SIR, BRAVO!

[@jjoohhhnn]

If you think about it, mens lib which is what Richard advocates for is entirely in line with feminism. Mens issues (as Richard frames them) are sort of essential for feminism to succeed, because one half of the population still hasn't been liberated from the old system, and will/do try to drag everyone backwards with them. It has always been strange to me there that this dichotomy has arisen.

[@AnitaLichtenberg]

Exactly! While we don't need men to become entirely like women, the fear of any amount of feminity is the biggest obstacle to men's lib, and as a consequence, to women's lib I wish we would stop labeling so many things as masculine or feminine that don't need to be

[@spiscione]

I like this guy.

[@cammieg4381]

Society (in a democracy anyway) always swings like a pendulum - too far one way, then too far the other way - but with conversation from both sides with each other, we CAN work this out fairly for everyone! alas... not for a few more years yet anyway, hopefully the damage by division won't be too far gone...

[@ModernConversations]

“From your lips to God’s ears.” I found that to be incredibly inscrutable.

[@mfanakithi2002]

Love him

[@tylerbailey9329]

It needs to be better-communicated that fighting the patriarchy helps everyone

[@dkoli]

Nah the imaginary patriarchy is the problem

[@tv19463]

Or fighting the hierarchy

[@prof.jezebel]

feminists have been making this point for decades

[@uzul7742]

Care to explain how „fighting the patriarchy“ helps these boys?

[@GremlinRadiation]

Care to start?

[@tclm]

1:50 no way. His theory on why women don’t talk about it is way off. In addition to not wanting to center the discussion on men, women who do talk about men are told to stay in our lane. Men can talk for themselves.

[@Halauris]

I've never heard that.

[@hefoxed]

We need women to talk about men's issues as women are more likely to listen to other women.

[@Commentator488]

@@hefoxed We need more men to promote feminism than for the same reason

[@juligrlee556]

Schools and parents need to have emotionally and developmentally appropriate learning pods for children. I was the youngest in my class and was mistreated along the way. My daughter intentionally on my part was the oldest in her class. She graduated at the top of her graduating class, the top of her science classes, math classes etc. from the 5th grade onward. She graduated college with a doctorate in three years with advanced placements from her freshwoman year throughout her academic career.

[@gridman2742]

When was the last time you even heard the word masculinity without it being attached to the label toxic masculinity?

[@Sitbear]

The fact that you have to preemptively qualify a conversation about men by talking first about women just demonstrates how wide the empathy gap is and how much democrats and feminists have abandoned men.

[@Halauris]

Exactly.

[@masonc8140]

Because the two things are linked. The current identity crisis in Men is directly linked to sexism towards women and how men view women. Why can't boys look up to their mothers or sisters? Girls are allowed to look up to their fathers. Why are "feminine" traits viewed as bad in men? Men should be free to be themselves and not be bullied by other men (or sometimes women) into fitting into the same narrow box of what they think "masculinity" is.

[@Commentator488]

Men never supported feminism. This is the internet, go and see for yourself what men think about feminism. Men are the ones who don’t want to accept feminism and are advocating for patriarchy. In a patriarchy, men need to be strong and masculine and definitely not weak, feminists fight against that narrative for too long, but if a man doesn’t want to change that, there’s no amount of feminism who can help them.

[@Mintpepperoni]

What's wrong with becoming "more like your sister"? Why shouldn't boys see girls and women as role models too?

[@davidpeet2109]

It’s not about role models. Anyone can be a role model for anyone. “Be more like your sister” implies that the male is a defective female, just as the reverse “women need to be more like men” implies that the female is a defective male

[@DGas-rg1pk]

The same thing that's wrong with being "more like your grandfather." Don't cherrypick the quote.

[@Rowsy91]

Lots lol

[@dkoli]

You're part of the problem

[@GremlinRadiation]

Everything. She needs to be "more like her brother"

[@P4yn3]

Richard gets it, if we had more people like this in the democrat party I MIGHT vote blue.

[@andrewstevenson118]

Swing voters win elections. Your vote is very important. 🙂

[@FuinFirith]

And what would it take to get you to call the party by its actual name, my friend? 😛

[@timothyha2854]

I’ll never vote blue again. Joe Biden was my last ever democrat I vote for. These people don’t care about us, they care about the billionaires and the social Justice movements. Not real people working hard jobs

[@P4yn3]

@@FuinFirith funding of the police, low crime, a strong economy, low inflation, wage growth 😛

[@timothyha2854]

Joe Biden is the last democrat I’ll ever vote for. I’ve seen what these people do, and who they serve

[@zain8246]

“Let me grab the worlds tiniest violin” - Desi is part of problem on this issue, proving his point in real time

[@EdmundSnow98]

She was making a joke. She's a comedian.

[@georgejanzen774]

Like Richard also said right after this, this is a kind of emotion/reaction that is quite understandable, all things considered. But that's part of why it's a difficult conversation, cause everyone kinda has to set these kinds of reactions aside in order to have it

[@RobVespa]

Aside: Sadly, "most people" refers to a percentage of less than half the population (read - start with less than half and then make that number smaller).

[@Blackwing_Earth-2_]

❤❤❤❤❤❤

[@stacyliles5534]

Great conversation. That coming from a feminist leaning white dude.

[@rw9207]

The term "Toxic Masculinity" did not" first appear in 2016... It was coined in the, 'Mythopoetic men's movement' in the 80'S and was outlined in 1990, in the book 'I am John' by Robert Bly !.... I personally have been aware of it since the late 90's! It did NOT "revolve around crime".. it was primarily in reference to the negative aspects of traditional masculinity. The harmful social expectations of the narrow definition of masculinity, forced upon men and how that can lead to violence and drug abuse..... It was about men's health!!

[@prof.jezebel]

Yes! Thank you! It came from a men's movement! The book is Iron John.

[@alexrice2302]

Let him mansplain…. I’m a feminist and I understand this….

[@christopherjohn5575]

Imagine being a woman who wrote about woman’s issues, and going onto a talk show with a male host who makes a bunch of stereotypical jokes about your gender. We actually don’t have to wonder because you can find plenty of examples of it. Now that the roles are reversed we see it happening in this very interview.

[@jjoohhhnn]

Yup, almost like we're all just individual people or something crazy.

[@dantealighieri4258]

I love Desi Lydic’s work (and it’s been great to see her as host over the last year or so) but I really feel like either she just wasn’t the right person for this interview or was having a bit of an off day here.

[@H4Z37]

??? What do you mean, I thought the interview went great…

[@georgejanzen774]

She was the perfect person for this. While understanding Richard on an intellectual level, she also did her part as a comedian by acting as the ideological opposite. Which is believable because she is a staunch feminist (nothing wrong with that) who needs to hear Richard's message. To me, this was a beautiful interaction

[@johnknight9150]

Ah, but I read a thing from that Jordan Peterson bloke and apparently everyone's wrong! I've no idea what he was saying (there were a lot of long words instead of plain English) but it seemed jolly impressive! Now it's time to start a carnivore diet, that'll sort everything. ;-)

[@uncan]

I have never seen Desi so uncomfortably polite and struggling to be funny..."from your lips to god's ears"?!? Where did that cliche pop out of? It felt like she was fighting every instinct in her body (um hmm, yeah...), which backs up Reeves' point. It's become zero sum battle: feminism vs. male well being.

[@omvilla7469]

Finally this show brings a Topic about Men and the struggles of men. For such a long time this program has been about promoting leftist propaganda. You can see how uncomfortable she is.🙄 Kudos. This probably would have NEVER happened if Trump didn't win.🙄🤷

[@AustinThinker79]

Desi looks kind of uncomfortable with this subject.

[@alexrice2302]

3:04 amen

[@moralesjjvideo]

Richard is great. Really the interviewer is not that great and you can tell it hurts her to have a serious conversation about this topic. I used to really love the daily show but it is part of the problem with pushing narratives that aren't necessarily accurate.

[@dkoli]

Mention men during a talk about women and its "whataboutism" and "were talking about women" - but you cant talk about men without mentioning women 😂 Another double standard

[@surfaceoftheoesj]

Finally

[@iyyakamusicvideo4369]

👍🏻👍🏻👍🏻👍🏻👍🏻

[@justincastillogayray]

Donald had nothing to offer young men but fear.

[@MatthewTheWanderer]

Exactly! There is NO legitimate reason for anyone, including men, to have ever voted for Trump!

[@GremlinRadiation]

Didn't vote for him, but he doesn't call them trash.

[@SidewalkCitizenLA]

1:40 I fully disagree with his theory as to why women don't talk about it. It's because our struggles and issues are perpetually ignored or dismissed, so WHY should we acknowledge theirs? Tad juvenile, I know, but still a fair question.

[@SteelTiiTan]

I think that many men would say their issues are dismissed or ignored. If this mentality was held by everyone then nobody ever will reach a hand out to others to help, and I'd argue we have been moving more towards this.

[@Snake369]

women's issues and struggles have absolutely not been dismissed or ignored. they're constantly pushed in our faces. Dude can't even have a conversation about men without constantly pandering to women.

[@audreywellham2413]

@@SteelTiiTanit’s a correct and accurate statement. Sigh.🇺🇸⚖️🙏🏻🩺💙🗽🕊️✨

[@justingutube]

What struggles are you trying to say are often overlooked?

[@andrewstevenson118]

Fair point, but two wrongs don't make a right. (But two Wrights made an aircraft.)

[@natelecarde962]

Stewart 2028

[@efuller3333]

✨🌟✨

[@uncan]

Interesting interview. Not sure I buy the girls are better ar/more mature than boys and girls used to be kept down explanation for why their educational success has reversed in the last 20/30 years, but at least he acknowledges that's not his expertise.

[@richardblock2458]

Amazing how he has to apologise for himself just to deliver facts. How he has to point out the obvious hostility, totally permitted, towards anyone presenting these facts on TV, especially to a woman. Desi tolerates him as a man because he is grovelling to her and the audience for asserting facts and that he poses no threat to feminism.

[@Gulfstreams]

What about the 70,000+groupchat of men confessing to abusing the women in their life? What about the frenchmen who drugged his wife and let hundreds of men abuse her? Repetitive of the ongoing discourse without talk of accountability. Can we redefine a aspirational masculinity without knowing whats toxic?

[@jjoohhhnn]

Believe it or not people can understand what toxic is without essentializing it to a gender

[@prof.jezebel]

Exactly! Can we hold men accountable without addressing the toxicity? The argument seems to be: holding men accountable makes them feel bad so they double down on the toxicity. Maybe men could do something else to not feel bad? Like fix their own toxicity? Hold each other accountable?

[@GremlinRadiation]

@@prof.jezebel Prisons in the west and filled with men who have committed crimes, why is it you seem think men are not held accountable?

[@kevinatenine9797]

Imagine the irony of making a video pretending to care about men's issues while deleting comments of men critical of the author.

[@bettertomorrow791]

The Daily Show does not delete your video. Anyone in the comment section can report you and make your comment disapear.

[@MatthewTheWanderer]

@@bettertomorrow791 Yep, I'm so sick of idiots complaining about their comments being deleted "randomly" or because of some conspiracy theory about them criticizing something that would offend KZbin or, in this case, The Daily Show. Such foolish ignorance!

[@hefoxed]

KZbin hides half my comments -- I doubt the show is paying someone to moderate the comments.

[@MatthewTheWanderer]

@@hefoxed That's one of the biggest lies I've ever heard.

[@appaatemomo-freePalestine]

So this is not what toxic masculinity means. It is absolutely not about there being something inherently toxic about masculinity; closer to the opposite actually. I would agree that it's not incredibly helpful to use that term with individuals, but to discard it altogether because it's offensive? What a horribly misguided approach to a term that helps us understand societal expectations, gender performance, and the harm patriarchy does to us all.

[@hefoxed]

The definition doesn't matter -- what men hear when the term is used does. Use [internalized] misandry instead for toxic aspects of male gender role, like we use [internalized] misogyny for toxic aspects of female gender role. There was absolutely no reason to use such a horrible word that has hurt so many men. Discard patriarchy -- that term is not helping anyone atm. Everyone contributes to gender roles, and people of all genders both benefits and are marginalized in different ways. If you consider the ways women benefit from society more then men, then it's arguable they have it better -- but that's not a useful discussion, just turns into a counterproductive blame game.

[@prof.jezebel]

Exactly! The term toxic masculinity itself implies that there are other forms of masculinity that are not toxic! No matter what term is used, it seems men are going to hear "You are holding me accountable and it makes me feel bad so eff you."

[@appaatemomo-freePalestine]

@@hefoxed What an incredibly intelligent comment. A word's meaning doesn't matter, just how it makes certain people feel? Patriarchy isn't a helpful concept, as if gender roles aren't a product of it and perpetuated by it? Women benefit from society more than men? Profound stuff. Thanks so much for sharing.

[@toneylowery1166]

She's not yours, its just your turn.

[@candywarmuth6241]

If women hadn't talked about expecting better from men, we never would been a need for this book.

[@Amoxicycline]

I fully agree with this guy in his philosopphy and principles, but the message of "care about everyone" is one of those things that everyone agrees with in theory (like world peace) but isn't marketable to any one group. Specifically if we're saying the Democrats should've somehow embraced this message to gain young male voters (and maintain young females),, there's just no simple way to present that to voters.

[@vietimports]

i still dont understand how these perceived problems for young men would be solved by voting. for example the issues of the male education "crisis" and the male loneliness "epidemic." what is supposed to be done politically? to solve the education issue should schooling be made easier? should we stop women from going to school to boost men's confidence by allowing more of them to graduate over women? to solve the loneliness issue should we force women to date men? should we create a national draft where men draw a lottery to get married?

[@KA82205]

Talking about the issue is a start.

[@PassportAdam]

You are too far left to even empathize with others. Your way of thinking is why I don't consider myself a democrat anymore. Trump, Elon, Vivek, and others were also democrats most of their life

[@fullyactivated]

Well one party cares about men and another party doesn’t so voting the latter out would have to be the first step

[@outlaster3431]

No but if your political party doesn't exactly show support in anyway then why wouldn't receive support

[@VermillionRii]

​​@@fullyactivated Which party is that? The one that literally didn't mention a single bill/law that would help make male mental health issues or the lower rates of college amongst white men , and would rather use that money to acquire the Panama Canal? Or the one with the woman?

[@goloth]

This guy is so full of it. Nowhere in Harris's campaign was the message that we need to get rid of men. No Dem leaders are saying this. 56% of college professors are men, so there's not exactly an issue with under-representation of men teaching. Desi's a great anchor, but a terrible interviewer for not pushing back on any of this stuff.

[@er...]

firsties 😊

[@josher0139]

2nd fastest

[@er...]

@@josher0139 👍

[@andrewstevenson118]

How come the timestamp has an hour ago? Is it a timezone thing?

[@er...]

@@andrewstevenson118 I am from the future.

[@andrewstevenson118]

@@er... Yeah, well, it's 5:45pm on Thursday where I live, so I win. 🙂

[@CarigisX]

what a depressing career choice

[@bugbuggy3866]

Awesome conversation ! Why don't we have more of this 🥲 Then we wonder why there is so much gender disparity.

[@andrewstevenson118]

YT doesn't help.

[@prajnachan333]

In my simplistic way of seeing things: the mind is the problem; it doesn't solve problems as much as it creates them. My father passed on when I was 11. When I heard I went to school anyway. Not as an avoidance but because my life doesn't have to stop while I feel grief about it. So I didn't have a male role model - except the spiritual masters I was reading from India and China. But my point is there are so many ideas floating around in everyone's head about what's "wrong", what's "lacking". We forget to just live! For me, it's the mind that creates problems in the first place and then goes on and on about how to "fix" or "solve" them. Oh, how boring. I'm going to listen to music. Walk in nature. Read an inspiring book by people who have been some of the wisest people on earth. That's enough, more than enough for me to be joyful and enjoy being alive. And to be grateful for it. Give it a "thought," but not too much! Give it awareness is better.

[@MatthewTheWanderer]

Why does everyone need "role models" anyway!? My parents were and are terrible people who I did NOT want to emulate or look up to in any way whatsoever. I never looked up to or idolized any other adults while I was growing up, either, and I still became a successful student (I've been a bit less successful as an adult, though).

[@jonathanmilo]

For many thousands of years, before Christianity, before any religious or political beliefs, men and women have performed rites of initiation. Contrary to preconceived notions (of savagery, or the lowest of animal needs), these rites fused a highly sophisticated awareness of an individual’s place within the cosmos, and the ongoingness of life and community, to a specific gift, a purpose infused with the deepest meaning of existence.

[@nataliechazvemba4929]

If the economy was like the 1940s or even 60s then the society would be like those decades. I think many women would love to be housewives with hobbies and also basic modern conveniences but we can't because the economy.

[@LF-pe9ok]

This is ridiculous. It doesn’t do what it says it does. It creates divisions that weren’t even there in the first place.