How To Regulate Damaged Emotional Perception After Abuse

How To Regulate Damaged Emotional Perception After Abuse

[@BePresent.]

I've started self defense and boxing after 15 years in an abusive relationship and your advice about the confidence is superb...I feel like I'll never learn to protect myself but after hearing this I'm just gonna concentrate on the skill ....and the confidence will be the byproduct I think x

[@sarah8sea]

Show off

[@sarah8sea]

Tell me can you stick a magnet to your forehead

[@sarah8sea]

Well now

[@sarah8sea]

I guess I received the big boy milky shake

[@sarah8sea]

No no I am the winner

[@Moshka627]

To the gentleman who asked how to stop ruminating. Perhaps you will see this and it will help. A neuroscientist taught me that ruminating thoughts produce chemicals that cascade from my brain into my body, that overtime my body develops a chemical dependence and a vicious cycle is born. I've meditated, exercised, tried focusing on other thoughts, distractions etc., but nothing helped me stop ruminating thoughts like the awareness that my brain was manufacturing a drug to feed an addiction. This awareness can stop an obsessive thought in its tracks in real time and has been a powerful, life changing, habit busting tool for me. I use it to change negative self talk into positive, loving thoughts about myself. I use it to cultivate diplomacy in my interactions with others, especially when I feel like I could fly off the handle and say regrettable things.

[@annmurray2832]

So bible says "hold every thought that exalts itself against the knowledge of God,captive.

[@djnquire]

Very helpful thank you

[@user-sg8wf5qo9s]

Thank you!

[@brendaplunkett8659]

I agree. The endless ruination of your brain trying to figure out the conundrum ans sort the cognitive dissonance. Knock them off the pedestal you put them on. It is all smoke and mirrors,.It is all a trick, a dog and pony show, with a demented ringmaster.

[@brendaplunkett8659]

@bromelaina8076 I know you didn't ask me but what helps me in those moments.I do the hand mnemonic and it centers me enough.

[@Amanda-if1wn]

Its amazing how wether you are young, old, rich, poor, abused or loved and protected. It comes down to your moral compass. Your free will. Most people hoard and destroy others who do not essentially worship them superficially. A few make the world a better place.

[@NumeroUnoYo]

Counselors at a DV safe house were telling me I was borderline. After some time away from family and toxic people I'm just fine. Not over emotional not showing borderline traits anymore. I'm able to look objectively at even my abus, Fortress mental health on KZbin from Grannon is a MUST. Richard's book is amazing, CULT OF ONE. Get it, read it!!!

[@dollarsmum3453]

Do you not feel crudely diagnosed? I've had a misdiagnosis and know it, (bc of 30 yrs of many psychiatrists visits due to attending clinics for therapy (and seeing the overseeing MD to make sure I was okay), so that when a new one wanted to diagnose me as having a manic episode for the 1st time at age 57, I said, "If I wasn't nearly just murdered, (literally), then it's still a stretch; and don't you think that that accounts for the 'scared to death' reaction I may appear to have? There's no mania, no wide awake, not symptomology that spoke to mania, nor bipolar, yet they'd insisted in an almost irate manner it wasn't due to my distressed, (even having had my pets murdered), state of mind?" How to find righteous counsel is very frustrating. I'm just curious--you're relating to the emo flashbacks, are you? Thank you for your comment and in advance, should you reply. [Meanwhile hold your head high! Sounds like you're doing all the right things!]

[@thebatmom]

I had to get away from my family because they would annoy me so much that looking back now, was a completely crazy person. My family are good people, but toxic to my mental health. I can still get emotional when I feel like I'm being belittled, it causes my defense mechanism to spark up but nothing like I did living with family. I was diagnosed with bipolar, ADHD, ptsd, bpd and more within 1 year... Each doctor diagnosed me with something else, I ended up being a Guinea pig, I was taking 7 different meds daily at one point. I've been off of it all for 5 years, I function as a normal working adult on the outside, but I experienced abuse 3 years ago and I've been in survival mode ever since, always confused and 2nd guessing my every move. My brain is tired, I just need a list to tell me what steps I need to do to work through this.

[@andrewsmith3257]

Good for you. I have BPD and I was nuts

[@mightymouse1005]

I don't think counselors are qualified to diagnose mental illness. That's a psychologist or psychiatrist.

[@mightymouse1005]

​@@dollarsmum3453true mental illnesses take many months or years to diagnose because they have a pattern, highs and lows....medical professionals are too quick to throw a label on people and appear more intelligent than they are. This is coming from a nurse of 30 years

[@franniejoynes2798]

Richard Grannon, the saviour of my sanity. To go through a nightmare life, completely alone with endless suffering to finally be understood so deeply. I consider you a fellow traveller Richard and am deeply grateful for your bravery and honesty.

[@SarinaBlom]

Jesus is your Saviour.

[@Karen-fx8ek]

HE heals the brokenhearted and binds up their wounds! Psalm 147:3 The good Lord is clearly working through you Richard; I’m so grateful for your wisdom on this subject! Yes walking,dancing,singing,movement is so crucial to our healing! I missed this live chat,will try again! Keep healing us!!! I like when you said” we must stay close(in touch) with our feelings; so important! God bless us all! Praying for all!

[@Mummabear1111]

My life is legit suitable for a true crime doco. That’s validating.

[@dollarsmum3453]

I've often thought if I could just write it out, it would be, too! These, our stories, really ought to be much more prevalent on mainstream media, I swear! It would help us who've suffered be allowed to talk about it, and still be accepted, despite not deserving the initial trauma, much less the societal shunning that follows the original damnation we've already been through, and so-called "survived" but folks don't want to be made aware of, much less be supportive about. I don't need pity--but some understanding of my past would be nice.

[@Mummabear1111]

@@dollarsmum3453 yeah I’ve had several people say go to the media and write a book. It’s not over yet. So right now I’m relying on the Most High and expecting freedom and breakthrough first. These systems, cults, groups and governments are dangerous. 🙏 but the Most High is far above them.

[@true2theoryapriori497]

Agreed! I’ve often thought a movie, book or tv drama! Maybe then someone could explain it to me!

[@brendaplunkett8659]

We should create that somehow. I would much rather garner insight and compassion from real story. Not Netflex definition, which is it " not fiction". Did it f@unking happen or NOT to the point of lawsuits.

[@jenbodhi1133]

Same

[@TRsTake]

This was helpful. For those of us no longer in the throws of abuse, just trying to be a normal human moving forward...the distorted perception is real. I'm going to head over to the flashback course. Thank you

[@johannagrace7768]

I thoroughly recommend Richard's courses. I have gained so much by implementing the skills he teaches. ❤

[@Mummabear1111]

This explains why I’m often quite tired. Have to keep moving but yes.

[@johannagrace7768]

Richard, I realised while watching that the heaviness of my past is gradually becoming lighter as I practice my skills and allow the time/space for grieving. I also realised why I have been so uneasy in the presence of people who have not lived through intense, prolonged trauma. When the wolves at the door are the members of your own family, the sanctuary of the safery of the 'cave' just does not exist. I simply cannot relate to people who have a genuine sense of safety and security. Being in the presence of these people has always made me feel more hyper vigilant. And now I know why. I feel trapped by them. I feel as though I need to shake them awake from their cozy sleep. I feel like I need them to recognise how bad the world can be so we can all fight against it together. Thank you, as always, for your wonderful work. ❤

[@chiliart8056]

I know that feeling

[@johannagrace7768]

@@chiliart8056 Thank you for your reply! Its validating to connect with people who can relate!

[@Helen-cl8hl]

My body has been doing this 2 sharp breaths thing spontaneously on and off for years and when my stress levels increase- so I just thought it was a stress response thing and I must admit it worried me that I was developing a tick, but thanks Richard, that's good to know

[@theoriginal7727]

Yeah… For the past three years, my CNS has been almost constantly in fight or flight. And finally, collapsed much of the time. I would realize after minutes, or hours that I was holding my breath, my whole body was literally clenched. Decades of trauma and neglect, plus fresh abuse from me borderline/NPD back to back, having everything ripped out from underneath me during the smear campaigns…. I am a survivor and a fighter, but there’s only so much that a human body can take.

[@theoriginal7727]

Finally realized it was all TRAUMA!!! Stacking and building, complexifying and compounding all the fractures of my Soul. Frkn nacs

[@bbdn5123]

​@@theoriginal7727 it's scary, yet nice to read. I "discovered" a few years back I held my breath. Trembling legs flip-flopped my life from the restless legs, everything changed... Again... Exhaustion is real. And so are my body pains.

[@dollarsmum3453]

​@@theoriginal7727cancers and heart attacks with no heart disease, so I know--word for word as I read your statement, felt very well stated what I've been living. We are survivors, and it is hellaciously hard, I know. But, for whst it's worth, you'd helped a desperate woman with your words of pain and suffering tonight. Thank you so very much. Of course my gratitude for 6 years goes out towards Richard, but also for some of the community comments like yours also make a difference, and when feeling so alone, it's especially potent. Blessed be, and wishing you all the best in what you do!

[@annettegardiner7270]

Which is why Ekhart days it's all a narrotive in everyone's head, becoming enlightened and practicing stillness helps some ppl as well as your vids Richard

[@christianbernfeld1489]

Richard thank you so much for your service to us Codependents! I’ve woke up from a 15 year marriage to a narcissistic woman and am going to stop fixating on if she is or isn’t a narcissist or just abusive. I’m working hard to take back my self and show our kids a healthier path. Thank you 🙏

[@yellowdayz1800]

Does she do reactionary abuse?

[@christianbernfeld1489]

@@yellowdayz1800 yes always.

[@christianbernfeld1489]

@@yellowdayz1800 yes

[@novairene6880]

Thank you, as always. I am currently in a time of intentional solitude with emotional sobriety as I work through my trauma and healing. I still have connections, just very limited. Most days I spend time in growth education and self assessment mixed with some entertainment of movies or books. Just resetting and growing following over twenty years of ebbs and flows from micro and mega abuse. I enjoy hearing your input and perspective. Gives me things to ponder.

[@Helen-cl8hl]

Super interesting about the origins of the English language, thanks for that. Yeah I get the the past present connection - have to check myself frequently, because yep, was traumatised by the psychotic hands of my father especially during late teens, then by my ex husband's, only months ago. I'm still alive, have the deep cuts, and he's still stalking me. I'm super tired, my body aches, and I almost want to give up. Not on life, but on the hypervigilance that feels necessary in order to stay safe, but I cant give up the hypervilence yet, its keeping me safe, until my ex is deported on criminal charges. Which is exhausting.. but yeah, your spot on, still reliving it, because I'm still dealing with the fallout, the Police, data recovery, security cameras, statements etc I'm not doing anything addictive other than watching your videos which are helping me stay grounded and validated. I'm not drinking, not taking any drugs or over shopping etc. vaping is about the only thing l do. ( Which is not good I know) In the meantime, yeah I'll keep checking in on myself, and check out the mental health protection Fortress course/program. I ask myself the questions, have to, otherwise how else can I self regulate. Living on my own, is good in the sense that I have the privacy to have those chats with myself out loud. 😅 So using meditation to ground myself. Yeah I think the exercise is key. As soon as I get a window, I'll jump in. ( Im worried Im still stuck and making excuses ) And therapy, transactional analysis sounds really positive, and yes I also get the lineage DNA passdown. Do you have any advice for me? I miss the live sessions, I live in Australia.

[@Z.Theory]

Very helpful for most men, Ego is the man’s first killer

[@annettegardiner7270]

Yes I agree 👍

[@dianearena2516]

The more I listen to you, the more it's resonating with me. I love your honest, calming presence. Thank you very much.

[@leslieb8614]

Finally an explanation that makes perfect sense. The more traumatized I am, the harder it is for me to break free from my past/default settings. No wonder I'm struggling so much trying to let go of the colonized parts of myself that need to die. Thank you, Richard. This helps a lot. The darkness of my past is really trying to drag me back into the pit. But I'm trusting God to heal me, deliver me, and set me free in the Name of Jesus Christ. 😊❤

[@martafiscus]

Your humor is very grounding. I laugh out loud and smile big. It’s refreshing and helps balance the pain of discovery during this journey. Great information. Thank you, Richard.

[@kristenstockford8655]

I’m only about 15 minutes in, but so far the breakdown and explanations used to teach are excellent.

[@AndreasRohdin-MrGamer]

The emotional over-reactions, feeling the wrong thing, not trusting your emotions.... All of these things is what I am suffering. This is the hardest. I'm a big guy with a need for weight-lifting, and as luck would have it - there is a free out-side gym not even 30 meters from my current place, to top it off I just recently got medication for my ADHD and worst post abuse symptoms. I guess the world is trying to tell me something. And damn, I'll do this thing. Thank you Richard, you're an inspiration.

[@CarlyFaith15]

Richard, I'm only 21 minutes in and I just went through this yesterday. A psychologist was online and he wanted to talk about how trauma can start before you're born. He warned that it could be triggering and I thought, nah. I've been through so much what could he possibly say? He said, if your mother didn't want you while she was pregnant and you felt it from before you were born it can mold you for the rest of your life. I lived that but, there was a disconnect between what I heard being said, how I was treated and then, how I was constantly being told that I was blessed to have my parents. I was blessed however, my mom didn't want this pregnancy because, she already had a 9-month-old. My mom had a very sensitive nervous system and she was always anxious. I know I felt that and she only weighed 105 lbs and I don't think she gained any weight with me. She had her reasons and they were valid. But, I was born full-term but, underweight. My nervous system was not completely developed. And, because she couldn't cope, I was left alone. Now, I'm a grown woman that struggles to understand the world. I really live in a frozen state. If I referred to my mom as she... I got chased down by my dad who just swatted me on the back of my head. It didn't hurt a bit and it broke my heart into a million pieces. That meant the only one I thought loved me didn't. I am so many different kinds of opposites. I can be afraid to walk to the corner alone but, if someone I love needs me, I can do the almost impossible. I can't bond to anyone because, they'll leave me eventually. Most likely by lying to me. The trust is broken and they're not real to me anymore. I have a genuine love for human beings. But, after I spend an hour with them, they trust me and I'm exhausted. I don't know how to get over all of the trauma. It would take me 6 months of sessions with a therapist just to give them my trust. When I finally grew up enough to go out in the world and I even was speaking in public, I realized that I could tell by the way people reacted to me that I have something that translated into them feeling my empathy so deeply that they bonded to me quickly. I felt that there was something different about me. And, maybe it was good. But, at the same time, I would tell you that I'm garbage. I will give away everything I have and I have done that. But, if I receive something as a gift that's a value to my heart, I'm glad but, I don't feel like I deserve it. I'm going to watch this whole video but, it's going to take me a week. You don't talk like other people because, you have insights that other people don't even go near. I was so scarred by the time I was four that in movies and photos I can see that I went into a dysphoric state. Life feels painful even when everything is good. I am tired all the time. But, it's like a soul tiredness. Thank you Richard, for sharing what you know. I feel shame just by the fact that you understand this. I hope that I learned to enjoy the ride for at least a little while before I leave this earth. But, I don't see how. Take good care of yourself. Your knowledge is precious. 💙

[@nicoletalmadge7276]

Sending you ❤ I hope you are gaining healing through Richard's work and that you find a good therapist if that's what you decide to do.

[@lindaelarde2692]

Neuroscientist, Lisa Feldman Barrett (author of How Emotions are Made) tells a story of her daughter's anxiety in a martial arts competition where she was the smallest competitor in her class. Dr Feldman recounts how the instructor coached her daughter in this threatening situation. He did not invalidate her appropriate apprehension...he told her to "get your butterflies flying in formation." Brilliant. Dr Feldman Barrett's work on the theory of constructed emotion is a game changer.

[@monique-y6o]

35:55 36:12 50:04 50:17 51:00 52:02 52:41 52:57 55:24 1:29:21 1:31:26 You must be doing something right. I feel that you have healed quite a bit since the first time I listened to you back in 2020. Thank you for this presentation. Very helpful and informative. Your insight of the ENGLISH lesson alone helped me tremendously. Much to my amazement…..Time stood still as I was learning without leaving the PRESENT MOMENT. I will always remember this. Thank you Richard….💯🤍🕊️🙏🏼🕊️🤍💯

[@Melborn0915]

I also learned about the physiological sigh from Andrew Huberman. I’ve tested it at my doctor’s office and found that it will indeed lower your blood pressure. I now recommend it to anyone who suffers from “white coat syndrome. “.

[@MW-bv3wu]

I work in a dental office, and we often need to bring someone's NO down. I will start showing them the physiological sigh. Thanks for the idea!

[@sarahgregory5812]

So glad you're talking about emotional dysregulation. It feels like the thing that isn't spoken about. Learn yourself, accept yourself ❤. X

[@MW-bv3wu]

Richard, you are my favorite narcissism expert. But the English language was being written in the 600s. Very different from what it is now, but written and continually written over the centuries with a clear pattern of development down through Chaucer and his contemporaries, through Shakespeare, to us. The first English monarch to use English in official correspondence was Henry V, during the Hundred Years War. I could go about when, why, and by whom Latin, French, and German were used, but hopefully this is all the nerdy outburst I need to let me get over this little issue and listen to what you actually came here to say. Carry on.

[@RICHARDGRANNON]

Give us more , I love it ❤

[@MW-bv3wu]

Well. George the First never learned English, and the rest of the House of Hanover kept on speaking German because they kept marrying minor royalty out of Germany and they WERE all German. When Prince Albert died, Queen Victoria lamented, "There is left now nobody who addresses me in the informal second person singular!"

[@dollarsmum3453]

@MW-bv3wu I too dig this, so thank you! I LOVE IT! ​

[@MW-bv3wu]

Head over to your local library and read the first chapter of Ivanhoe, wherein a swineherd and a fool have an in depth discussion of class, nationality, language, and dinner.

[@sacredrain7757]

Another reason English has so many words is the number of foreign words that are accepted in English, especially informal/slang.

[@JoshLoyd-oq8nv]

"If it's hysterical, it's historical," that's a useful, if very oversimplified explanation taken from twelve-step programs for extreme reactions based on previous negative experiences. I'm a fan of this one.

[@blumenaue7590]

OMG, Richie. You are so BRILLIANT! You’re a life savior in trying to understand this shitty abuse! I hope you know what you’ve done for people.

[@evelyngarrison6007]

Wanted to add, thank you for the breathwork part and for the patience it takes to always repeat yoursef. The Fortress Mental Health is partly responsible for the progress I have made, as well as the physicality of the work I do. It's not the gym but it's close. I also like doing the somatic stretching and shaking of the limbs. It's coming back into the realm of friendships after so much isolation that has me feeling stuck again. But I'll get there.

[@keariewashburn4680]

Just stop and breathe. It works and is very necessary. ❤ Thank you Richard 😊

[@blivion]

I wish I could give this video a million thumbs up. Thank you💗

[@magicmoonmedicine]

Healing is an ongoing journey. Thank you for the reminders, Richard. We also need to treat ourselves gently, and forgivingly, and might I add, a sense of humor doesn't hurt. Love your energy! Thank you❤

[@michaelagiddings1520]

The information you provide is beyond priceless. I've learnt so much more that i wasn't even aware of until you triggered that emotion again. i see now i have so much more healing work to do. Thankyou for just putting it all out there. The way you deliver with raw truth is very refreshing from the constant deception received for virtually in reality my entire life. Thankyou for just being on this screen helping so many of us understand what has and is happening to us. and giving us the tools to heal. God Bless you in all ways.

[@Mummabear1111]

I really like this physiological sigh.

[@dollarsmum3453]

Love that he's utilized Dr Andrew Hubberman's knowledge/training--but of course he is, bc he's only using the best of the best!

[@Mummabear1111]

@@dollarsmum3453 he’s adorable. Very good and very professional.

[@beatrizfallis1694]

Thank you for sharing this. I appreciate your ability to make something so complicated more practical. It's super helpful!

[@ninashirley432]

I have learned to stay away from people now . Thank you for your help.

[@sacredrain7757]

I’m sorry you feel that way, as I wrestle with the same impulse. But, I have been really enriched by being open to something good happening. I wonder how you might be a blessing to another. I have self respect now, and I can speak boundaries, and I can SHUT THE DOOR if someone doesn’t behave. I met you on this site, so I have faith that you are growing and changing, one epiphany at a time. I can’t judge people I haven’t even met yet, so I have hope.

[@cooperotoole]

so helpful. I try not to watch you too much since completing the matrix course last year (it was really healing). but it's good to see you and have your support every now and then.

[@LolaAileenVanslette]

Thank you for clarifying that what happened in your past is still in your present. My now-ex kept saying, "Why do you keep bringing up the past? Let it go!" Then explained how he locks his bad memories into a space in his mind where he doesn't have to think about it. Wonderful for him. He was neglected by his parents, not beaten by them. Does that make a difference? I think the traumas we live through determine how we adapt to it. He's a vulnerable narcissistic person, I'm a scapegoated daughter of a psychotic narcissist. Since his actions mirrored my mother and other relationships, his actions triggered my lack of self-worth that I couldn't adjust to. Thus, he's my ex now.

[@MickManningly]

Gratitude for your sharing your knowledge Richard ! Your on the Noble path & it,s reaffirming for me that there are a small quantity of humans who are sane , intelligent , compassionate , not monstrously deformed & vicious etc ,out there. Thru your work & others doing the same thing , I,m becoming able to identify a narcissist, but I still can't deal with them . Just today I was confronted with one acting almost stereotypically .....why are you ignoring me ...after all the things I've done for you (ripping me off , B.S. ing. me , causing inconvenience etc ) & I would have liked to be flat , non interested, nonchalant etc , but what you,very been talking about on this video came to the fore , rage & a desire to get stuck into them physically . I abhore violence but being raised by a narcissist " mother " I guess that's part of the poison she injected me with , & I,m stuck with it. At the age of 70 my life , such as it's been& it ain't been a fruitful one , is almost done so maybe it,s karma , but the spooky thing is , I can't seem to avoid running into narcissists even tho I live on the edge of society & stay alone as much as I,m able. Is this global psychosis advancing exponentially ? Anyway , thanks for your sharing knowledge & being upright & True . Keep up the good work ! P.s. sorry about that glitch word back there , this stupid I pad I,m using changes words if it so desires .

[@Mummabear1111]

Thanks for making this sooo easy to watch 😂

[@bryanvincent4927]

It would be amazing to see a podcast with you and Chris Voss.

[@JarmilaXymenaGorna]

Thank you Richard. Very informative, inspiring, entertaining. There’s hope.

[@lostcause6100]

Yes! It is now. It is always now. My traumatising event was in the Autumn of 1988 and lasted until Summer 1990. But it is always now. So nearly 35 years ago in time but now in the body. The feelings are as fresh and raw as all those years ago. I keep getting flashbacks. I keep returning to the triggering event. Because there is a huge lesson there. Otherwise I would have shrugged it off at the time. Miriam Margoyles is well into her 80s and wrote in her autobiography about the bullying she experienced in Cambridge Footlights and said 'It was over 60 years ago and it STILL hurts.' Thank you Miriam. I still want to kill my abuser. The power of my feelings is as fresh and raw as ever.

[@jehudididit9243]

Wow That physiological sigh is POWERFUL!

[@eqyogi]

…..and the work continues, thank you Sir 🙏🏼

[@Zenmiss24]

I’m hearing exactly what I know deep down without way or perhaps courage to say or allow myself to trust those thoughts or feelings. Thank you Richard for helping me realize I have the strength and discipline to overcome what I’ve allowed myself to endure in abusive relationships (narcs) . I am for the first time in my life at a place of radical acceptance by practicing mindfulness, listening to your words and follow stoic philosophy. You save lives and at the very least your saving souls. Thank you ❤

[@jbricks3358]

IFS (Schwartz) has been monumental in resolving this for me, via the identification of traumatized parts stuck in time and then helping those parts know how old I am (we are). It takes repetition, and over time I have been able to fully resolve the lizard-time-confusion aspect of my cptsd.

[@birdagram]

yes me too IFS and Brainspotting has also been very helpful

[@mylveilleux]

Thank you for taking the time to address the lashing out I’ve been witness of and for doing it in such a kind manner.

[@michaelleroux5879]

Oosh sensay. It’s like you heard me out there sir. Been contemplating reversing the emotional/nerve damage of trauma. Was emotionally beaten while down already long term. Am rising again

[@mightymouse1005]

Same here. Was still saddened and wounded by my beloved late husband passing when a narcissist sought me out....not understanding the evil I fell into the web of lies , deceit and abuse......my brain was like scrambled eggs with him......no peace, no comfort and no real life

[@missrabbit777]

I'm so grateful for this video . thanks Rich your a legend 🙌

[@andycodling2512]

Thank you Richard, gave me a lot of food for thought ❤

[@stompthedragon4010]

If a title ever caused me to immediately click, here we are. That is an adorable story about the 3 year old. As I'm listening to you about the past, I'm thinking if we are cut- off from our past we are rootless. R8chard, thid msy be one of the clearest, most fascinating talks I have listened to.

[@robertorhymes]

Waow synchronicity I had an emotional flashback recently Triggered by a someone who said I was wrong because the experience of being invalidated was so strong Thank God for you Richard

[@lindaelarde2692]

Huberman is the best!

[@Oracle4DeAtlantis]

Beautiful, brilliant analogies …

[@bethderrett]

@Irene Lyon’s programmes on healing trauma and building nervous system regulation are incredible for this kind of healing

[@veronikachocholova2693]

Yes! ❤

[@vevans777]

'It's like bomb disposal' - great analogy. This resonates with my experience of someone who's still showing signs of trauma experienced decades ago because he hasn't sought help to process and heal from it, so I felt the full force of his rage. Scary.

[@mariaelisanaimegiovanardim1102]

Excellent content. Thank you Richard.

[@dariabondavalli4070]

This video is sooo liberating; explains it so beautifully and all of it. Thanks

[@Smartbeautifulawesome]

Makes a lot of sense…I don’t think I’ve ever felt envy maybe brain confusion and a lot of shock

[@Marie-mg7zp]

35:12..on point..Still working on making new memories.

[@jwilson1118]

This is a good one Richard! Thank you !

[@susansimon4255]

Trauma has taken its toll on me in the form of mistrust, but I can tell you that my spirituality has made the weight of it a lot lighter. Like the way you smile when you talk about children

[@Perry.Okeefe]

59:02 "how to cope with a narcissistic family?" Destroy your own soul, crush your personality down to nothing and become a groveling worm who only exists as a disposable prop in the life of another person. If that doesn't sound like the life you want, dont cope with narcissists.

[@evelynkreiger6210]

Hi Richard, I want to give you many thanks for your videos. I have made progress, that was directly because you invited yourself into my mind to be by my side at the moment of being disregulated in a situation.😅

[@Levandetag]

Thank You Richard! This is so very Important, to acknowledge, both in oneself, first, and also in the outside world, more than ever. What has the culture in me, or others, imprinted us with, and Why? What has it done with me-us? How can I work with it both psychologicly, and most important, within my own body. When do I feel, those things appearing in my own body, and how do they affect my whole beeing? How can we work on that, to become more of what is within us, that we never got, to be, or feel or whatever sits in between the wholeness in us :) I have worked wihtin myself with so many diffrent methods, since 20 yrs, and breathing is the best, to learn to feel where it sits, and to let go with. One has to become curious, of whats inside, to know oneself. Where one is, and where one ends. Balance.

[@anniesherburne2983]

grateful for your wisdom and for speaking out

[@wendyrainey2849]

As a massage therapist, he's right, the body does "remember".

[@christinacatalano]

This was *PHENOMENAL* Thank you, thank you. Also- at 57:00, I recently read “It Didn’t Start With You” and have felt conflicted and think about it often, so thanks for the question from that viewer!

[@SugarFreeVegan]

You explain things in such depth and detail. Thank you.

[@melinadoria4208]

Woooahh! That very first part!! I spend all yestarday doing the double breathing without even thinking why i was doing it, but i felt like I was a kid each and every time….. so i Guess at least on this, im doing it right…….. 🙏🏻💞

[@JosCampman-qj3oi]

Thanks again Richard for your help♥️♥️

[@nadineelizabeth195]

Yes my perception is on point and messed up at the same time

[@heidisandvoll5860]

great video Richard!!

[@eilishhynes301]

Im just a person Different and same I don’t know if I belong here And that’s ok When I die I want to return as a cloud Belong to wind Never stay the same shape Change colors in light Dissolve into the atmosphere Thank you Richard

[@waterbabe2697]

Thankyou Richard, I needed this . 🎉🎉

[@annmurray2832]

Thats why swimming is so soothing to me!

[@jacquienel7576]

Your explanations are very helpful

[@JoelReeves2006]

Organizing the thoughts, in order to figure out the problem. I am experiencing this.

[@alankeeling2946]

My dad smashed me in the face at the age of 9 for "breathing wrong" in the back of a car - it stood out of all the abuse and I have relived that moment and others 1000's of times over my life... when you're forced to live with your abuser and smile at those same kinds of people... just so as to survive, you have no choice but to become hypersensitive to danger - or die. I spent my whole life avoiding getting killed by these kinds of FAMILY members.

[@ninjacat508]

🫶 wishing you well.

[@doctorstreamspunk9996]

The question I never stop asking is this: Why does suffering drive some people to empathy while it drives others to callousness? I know this is simplistic but there are so many variables and not all of them can be accounted for by genetics and nurture. I know its unfashionable to believe in free will, but I think we all have choices we can make about who we want to be. Perhaps I'm deluding myself and this is just another script written by my ancestors, but at least I comfort myself with this notion.

[@bridgetsieger2261]

Yeah why Is my body torturing me with memories. I wish brain would protect me but that is a silly thing to say. I’m overwhelmed, thank you for this video it is helpful.

[@chiliart8056]

I had flashback in coffee shop I couldnt stay my bodey just neded to move.I don't know should I expose more to things or practice handmnemonic

[@bridgetsieger2261]

@@chiliart8056 what is hand mnemonic?

[@chiliart8056]

Richard knows better the thing you do with 5 fingers of hand.

[@bridgetsieger2261]

@@chiliart8056 I looked it up. Sounds interesting and complex.

[@StaceySpence-f5w]

This man makes my ovaries tingle. So handsome, witty and intelligent.

[@BrendaFenton-j4k]

Thank you Richard 🙏❤️

[@alycewarr5332]

He came after my dear close friend last week. We talk several times a month, a 40 year friendship. My friend is suffering dementia and can’t remember why my ex tells him messages to give me. They’re extremely hurtful. My friend and I are very triggered, as the narc knows. My friend doesn’t know about triangulation. It’s been 15 years since I left. I’m hiding in the mountains and he absolutely won’t let me heal.

[@Jane-xn7mm]

I don't have problems with envy or anger, mine is debilitating fears. I am trying very hard to overcome them. I have been told I have PTSD from childhood. Not really sure what that means but my main fears are heights, water, bridges. I haven't listened to you but a little occasionally. I had a dream about you the other night that you were my counselor of sorts coming to my house several times almost as a friend. You came the last time in my dream and I noticed I had on tattered clothing and I apologized for that to you and said you've been here many times and I've never shown you my home and I showed you the other rooms quickly but not really hurriedly, if that makes sense. You didn't act anyway in particular but we both knew it was coming, you said my next visit will be my last one. Its time to move on. I don't know why but in my dream after you left I cried my eyes out. I woke up crying. I don't know you and before the dream I had barely ever saw you online or have never thought of anything like that about you. In my dream I felt love and I thought I loved you and I actually felt love. When I awoke I felt that when I saw you online again it would mean something very important for me to hear. This was the next time I listened to what you had to say. It did mean a lot to me this time. I got a great deal from it. Thank you, but I'm not sure why I had the dream unless it was for me to really listen to you this time. Thats all I have to say about it.🤔

[@nicoletalmadge7276]

Just started video so awesome your doing this subject!!! Thank you!

[@evapawlowska]

haha I loved that bit about disorders being adaptive :D I think so too

[@Person-jn8pf]

Loved this all so much ❤️‍🩹🙏💗

[@gaylewilliams5645]

Excellent. Thank you I am grateful

[@cipher940]

Divine appointment for exponential growth.

[@NatashaBailey]

great demo of a nervous system regulation

[@evapawlowska]

Hmm this is super helpful. Yes I feel all of these things lol was just dwelling on it.

[@sarah8sea]

This is even funner then contacting and reporting people on ebay.

[@Smartbeautifulawesome]

You don’t want to make people feel like they’re hurting you for being themselves or who they are

[@evapawlowska]

I was just lost ruminating and flasbacking because I've had ppl close to me ignore attempted sexual assaul/unwanted advances towards me and continue to befriend those people.... just had a situation arise that brought all that up. Suddenly feel anxious, betrayal, even rage. Yes, it's OK :) Yes to be grateful, acknowledge usefulness, and yet disconnect and understand it is the past...and also a signal of potential dangers, or at least whose judgement I can trust and whose I should be wary of. lol I was feeling quite lost thanks.

[@paryaseo9036]

Learn to connect to the earth and move all ur bad feelings through ur feet to the earth....and after that learn instead of relying on people,rely on earth only for stability and for being strong ,not people.even if they are not narsisit, dont merg in anybodies world out of balance....learn that u have to had ur own stable world in any relationship

[@dollarsmum3453]

Lovely! THANK YOU FOR THAT!!

[@CamStubbs]

Absolutely love this talk on how our traits are only maladaptive in today’s society! I have always described my condition as a tribesman stuck in a technological world. PS Pokémon is the shit, not because it was a craze but because for me it is as iconic as Mario, half-life, call of duty, elder scrolls or any other game title. It became a craze by being the first augmented reality game that kids were into. Once the kids pick it up the rest of us have permission to as-well. The game then ages with the youngest group that picks up the title. Genius in terms of marketing… 38 and still play from time to time

[@brendaplunkett8659]

The answer is he turns into a flower. The universe has spoken. Just during the live I got a package from my sister from my birthday of 50 narcississ bulbs. She thought see was sending blooming flowers. Even funnier. I got the rye humor and I got what i love most about her is her wicked sense of humor, dark humor .

[@mandymckeown8625]

I take long breaths at night it really calms my anxious thoughts down as well as staying no contact from my mummy dearest 😮