RiffTrax: Stitches (Full FREE Movie)

[@deanfiora4227]

MRS. ALBRIGHT: You think I'm making clever conversation. BILL CORBETT: No, I don't! 😆😆😆😆😆

[@sideshowratt]

A fascinating study in costuming a period piece when you have no budget, can't sew, and have never seen clothes before.

[@scottmiller2591]

Exactly WHICH period? I missed that detail.

[@sideshowratt]

I THINK it's supposed to be 1920s.

[@rosebudbaxter4671]

😂😂😂😂😂

[@user-os7ec4dm8x]

@@sideshowratt The fact that it looks like the 1990's in half the shots, sugests you're correct as they are clearly absolutely clueless.

[@shenloken2]

0:01:19 “Heheh…Homer Simpson!?” 😂 It really did sound like Homer screaming!!

[@U_N_Owen]

My favorite part was when they established she needed people’s souls in order to impersonate them, then immediately had her impersonate someone whose soul she hadn’t acquired yet, causing what little story there was to implode into tedious gibberish.

[@nonprofitgirl]

Tedious gibberish. Classic.

[@favoritemustard3542]

An expert exert from the writer's diuretic diary.

[@DefaultUser61]

How about a “Spoiler Alert” next time jerk!

[@myrdicac338]

In all fairness, once something is committed to film, that's it! There is no going back or way to "fix" anything. There's no way. None.

[@Lotsoflettersforaname]

​@myrdicac338 James Nguyen is that you???

[@andrewforbes1433]

It seems unlikely that the writer and director would never have experienced any human interaction prior to making this, but the evidence is fairly compelling.

[@Wildcat_93]

That joke about the chair being the one that ignored Neil Diamond was the best

[@dadahyena]

1:07:38 "Unwholesome, disturbing, and yet goofy as hell"...I've now found the perfect words for my epitaph! Thankya, Kevin!

[@darthbiz2095]

7:35 "Terrible Trivium doll, nice!" I was not expecting a Phantom Tollbooth reference, but I am glad that it's there

[@gregmark1688]

You have to give this movie credit for one thing it does right: it does not attempt to set up a sequel. More movies should learn this lesson.

[@markalexander3659]

"this staircase may be the best actor in the film" - it's certainly the least wooden

[@adamfowler350]

"You know an easier way to find out demons are real, I wanna hear it!" LOL Mike man

[@fanofeverything]

This is a rare case where I actually enjoy the movie itself. It's cheap as hell, but very atmospheric and the demon is a decent actress

[@Tareltonlives]

The riffing is amazing but man this makes Rock N Roll Nightmare look like the Shining

[@mclovin6829]

If American Horror Story was a straight to TV 90s movie

[@scottmiller2591]

I remember when Satanic pacts had to be signed in blood, and weren't just a passing remark in a casual conversation. Now we have this, and EULAs.

[@fatcat8033]

“This orgy sucks! “ 😂

[@adamellis6785]

References to Dr Demento AND Neil Gaiman's "Neverwhere" in ONE riff!? My cup runneth over!

[@nightshade1682]

AND the Phantom Tollbooth!

[@alexanderfaust4192]

Thanks guys! Just bought your Amityville Dollhouse riff too btw. Been a fan since the MST3K days going back to some of the first seasons in the 90's. You all still haven't lost your edge! :)

[@abundantYOUniverse]

Finally we get to see what really goes on behind the scenes with the Golden Girls.

[@johnran6015]

This is a cheesy movie but I feel like it tried it's ass off, at least it's now immortalized in the Rifftrax halls of cheese

[@seansoccer100]

It wasn’t bad compared to some of the other slop we’ve seen.

[@feltongailey8987]

This truly is a thouroughly reprehensible movie. Good job guys!

[@thelostone6981]

A scary movie for Halloween…and by scary I mean frightening that someone made this dribble. Full Moon Features, am I right?!?

[@archstanton9073]

Drivel.

[@deanfiora4227]

@@archstanton9073 Oh, I don't know. I can picture saliva dribbling down the screenwriter's chin as he typed the script.

[@StarryCactus]

Quite the feat to make a period piece without the period.

[@deanfiora4227]

My best guess is that it's set in the 1920s or '30s.

[@riceymartin2203]

This movie blows period

[@Tareltonlives]

Or the piece

[@leannetuckwell672]

I used to sit and watch MST3K with my dad when i was a kid in the 90s and am still a huge fan of you guys! Happy Halloween!!👻🎃

[@pony_bonnyman]

How great to have a dad who was a Misty! Lucky you!

[@ajs3994]

I love it when movies pretend to be real movies.

[@nonprofitgirl]

That’s hilarious..can I use that line??

[@marcherwitch9811]

it thinks it's people...

[@dalesanteford7432]

I think I'm in the wrong theater but I'm going to get comfortable and watch anyway

[@Ferich11]

Every time I watch this I feel like I need to take about 90 showers to just begin the cleaning process.

[@Eisenwulf666]

This looks like a neat idea for a "Tales from the crypt" (or similar) episode, with better acting and a tighter script. The main actress isn't so bad frankly, just...with a better direction it could work

[@ShikiHisashi]

Anyone else know that the woman who plays Mrs. Albright is the wife of that pastor who made that cringy rap with the line. "Jesus Christ is my nigga"? This is now the best movie of all time knowing this.

[@evenstoats2639]

Who knew ivy leaves were so powerful! I've got to put one in me neighbors house for those early morning rock outs.

[@ThreeToesofFury]

Thanks Riff Crew! always super cool of you to put up whole movies!!!!!!!!!!

[@AlfYngve]

This movie reminds me of those Jack Chick comic-book tracts.

[@favoritemustard3542]

If I didn't always watch my step at the state fair, I might not know what you were talking about! 😉 /hj but that was the honest first mental image your comment invoked lol

[@gregarioustumours2397]

What?!? A new free movie!!!! You guys rock!

[@s_nunyabiznez]

You can totally see one of the crew reflected at 59:42

[@Cobra-ky9bt]

"Stay away from the stables." Oof. That was clever.

[@cylondorado4582]

I got home after working late and was looking for one last Halloween movie to watch before Halloween ended. Then I saw this and I was like, JACKPOT!

[@riceymartin2203]

How can a film set in an ambiguous time period feel so dated at the same time?

[@gbalfour9618]

Throughout this whole movie I wasn't sure if the people were replaced by the devil or if it was just bad acting.

[@mlpfanboy1701]

If they were replaced by the king of lies they would be better actors.

[@Cheepchipsable]

@@mlpfanboy1701 Which is an ironic title sine the devil is the most honest character in the bible.

[@onslaught147]

The devil's actually a terrible actor. The greatest lie ever told is that he'd kill on Broadway.

[@jenniferoneal6313]

Thank you for this Halloween treat! 🎃👻

[@andrewforbes1433]

It’s raisins.

[@KalTorakDinnerTheatr]

I hate to upset anyone, but the movie is more than likely set between 1913 and 1920. Radium wasn't used medically, at least not extensively, except for the first part of the 20th century between 1913 & 1917. Plus the comment of the juries having all men meant it was more likely to be a time before or during suffrage, definitely before 1920. And let me say it so no one else has to: NEEEEERRRRRRD!

[@Thinminteater]

This is actually fascinating!

[@jean-lucpicard5510]

This looks like the puppet master movie from 1989. Except that they couldn't afford actual puppets.

[@elafimilo8199]

19:27 She just keeps on taking off layers until she's revealed to be the dead rat from Wayside School.

[@leannerose6181]

😂😂😂😂that's a deep cut

[@kanna-san.]

Deep access memory unlocked.

[@malwolfmoon8931]

Thanks so much for this!!!😂Been watching and laughing since I was a kid in the 90s Long live rifftrax and Happy Halloween!!!🎃🤘

[@typacsk]

RMSA is no joke, I almost lost a friend to it once. Infection at the hospital? No, they watched "Stitches" and tried to run out in front of a bus.

[@ultraturbojack2926]

A Rifftrax I have yet to see/buy! I can’t wait! Happy Halloween everyone!

[@Crabby303]

In fairness this has an odd dream-like quality. Well, at least my dreams, which are usually shot on low-end digital cameras with non-union cast & crew.

[@s3.14dervision]

You too?

[@AlcoholicBoredom]

I think it feels more like those cheap community theater plays my dad used to force me and my siblings to go to during visitations. 🫤

[@toddtyoung]

👊🏼

[@jean-lucpicard5510]

This is giving me Kickassia flashbacks. Only this is 720p instead of 480.

[@calypsokiosko9067]

That's just called "having garbage cameras."

[@fromvault801]

The girl being illiterate makes me think she is in real life. She just smiled and wasn't aware of what she was appearing in.

[@wiseblood1984]

You guys and gals at Rifftrax...man, you make me laugh! What can be more valuable... TCB ⚡️

[@M.Alexander.Esq.]

This was like a feature length retelling of the Mighty Boosh's Nanageddon. Only with lower stakes and it makes less sense.

[@r_jd279]

You're the best, guys. Appreciate it!

[@karenstarr]

Why is it when I looked this movie up, all that showed was a slasher movie with a killer clown? Even Google has never heard of this movie.

[@deanfiora4227]

As if the movie weren't bad enough, KZbin interrupted it with ads every five goddamned minutes! It was like watching a movie on an independent TV station of the 1970s.

[@YellowJeep]

This is a nice birthday present. Thank you!

[@marcelomelison712]

Have a wonderful birthday! May your most cherished dreams become a reality in this new year of your life.

[@teaoverflow3146]

Happy Birthday!!

[@gummieworms3909]

Happy Birthday 🎉🎉🎉😊

[@nonprofitgirl]

Happy BDay! YellowJeep, it’s gonna be a good year for ya!

[@ViolentStillness]

Thanks, Rifftrax crew! Happy Halloween!

[@jonathanevans9598]

Woohoo, that's a... that's a rough watch. Thank you for polishing a turd of a movie into something I had to muster through to watch.

[@traxx3639]

Do you guys recognize the old lady from somewhere else? She’s in the infamous YT video, “Jesus Christ is my N….”!!!! (The one where the old couple raps about JC) It kept bugging me where I saw her before while watching this, and I looked her up on IMBD!

[@Thinminteater]

Omg, I would have never made that connection. Thank you

[@specialpatrolgroup92]

"This'll teach you to eye my lemon drink! "

[@jnwestray78]

Have not seen this one, hurray!

[@BingFox]

Reminds me of an FMV video game from the 90s.

[@MelindaFrancis-o1l]

I'm getting a really strong Canada vibe in the filmmaking ♥️♥️♥️♥️

[@kanna-san.]

In that it was clearly made for gov'ment money?

[@JackErnst-y7p]

"Keep rolling!" LOL, love it when that shoes up in episodes.

[@calsavestheworld]

It's not stealing the mini shampoos. It's included. They want you to take them. Also the towels, hair dryer and artwork.

[@lynngreen7978]

I would give anything for a better movie. Oh no! I was watching the Rifftrax version! Oh why did I make such bargain? Ah.

[@mattblatchley2061]

I really enjoyed this one. Several times...

[@mattblatchley2061]

The abused wife intentionally OD'd in her 40s...was sad to read

[@thomascozart1095]

Thank you gentlemen!!

[@rowsdower6950]

This guy was wearing PJs the whole time!?😂

[@kingl33725]

The limp is real. CATHRYN STOP IT!

[@water.77]

1:16:10 this score is bonkers like from a Sega game

[@bobbob465]

Not just the score. The whole thing is lit and shot like a Saturn FMV title.

[@kaironarnold]

"Time to practice my stripper routine"

[@nonprofitgirl]

Can I either marry or live w Kevin Murphy?? He is priceless and his riffs always make me giggle. Same humor. Love it!

[@endlessnoise9173]

Well, I understand where you’re coming from. I’ve always thought of Kevin as the “cute one” of the group.

[@reesetorwad8346]

Ehh, get in line!

[@nonprofitgirl]

@@reesetorwad8346 could I just bring a tent and put it in the hallway? okay, this is getting weird. Kevin Murphy and the rest of them, too…National Treasures if you ask me. :)

[@nonprofitgirl]

@@endlessnoise9173 they’re all adorable! Kevin’s sense of humor just always hits w me. Heaven help me if I’ve smoked anything.

[@HungryForTastyFoodAndComicArt]

K/M/B and Rifftrax are the only way to suffer through this suckage-salad of lamebrain-leaves covered with incompetence-croutons, slathered in dullard-dressing. But, credit also to everyone in the comment-section; you are funny and hilarious too, similar to wonderful, heart-warming and funny dvd-extras.

[@ThatArabGirl10]

I think I've seen this movie. The riffs are right on point. Happy Halloween!

[@mguiggey7835]

You’ve what!!!?

[@ryanb4940]

@@mguiggey7835I know! I’m floored!

[@LibraGamesUnlimited]

I actually rented this movie many years ago on DVD with another movie called "Dead and Rotting" which is just as bad. I didn't know what I was getting into that night.

[@ThatArabGirl10]

@@LibraGamesUnlimited That happened to me a few times, lol.

[@LibraGamesUnlimited]

@@ThatArabGirl10 Happened to me a LOT. When home rental became a thing a lot of really bad movies got really cool-looking box art and descriptions that made them sound way better than they really were. Very tricky they used to be. :)

[@StrainVanLoms]

Thank you for the movie, it was very entertaining! Happy Halloween to everyone! 🎃👻

[@Iwantthe90s]

The most unbelievable thing of the movie is all that screaming and no one heard anything?

[@tfmaster96]

2:40 wait a second- THOSE ARE THE SCREAMS FROM THE OPENING OF LOST TAPES (specifically from seasons 2 & 3)! I knew it sounded familiar! though, it's used to far lesser effect, here.

[@FreejackVesa]

Probably generic low cost sound effects libraries

[@thedefonegamer636]

Who’s free FULL movie! Awesome!!!

[@johnl5350]

When you've got movies like Tom Cruise in them, you can't lose!

[@docholliday1112]

I give this movie 4 bags of popcorn, and a little pocket bible to keep the demons at bay

[@marlasotherchannel9847]

"No, it won't do" - Mike Nelson

[@mamagrubbs]

2:20 as a Lana Stan i loved this 😂

[@Azzatur]

I liked this for the 667th time. And I'm not sorry. Someone had to.

[@joshuawiese8446]

Thanks for the Halloween treat!

[@srbrant5391]

18:51 - He's undressing either Ann Coulter or Oderus Urungus. Same thing, really.

[@GymbalLock]

Background music came out of a 1990s Lucasarts CD-rom game.

[@Wishbone4evr]

Thanks for uploading Stitches riff on KZbin tho. Saw this uncensored already on Amazon Prime~😁

[@shawnfields2369]

Lucky...as usual, the entire riff is hilarious as every other riff ever done by these guys.

[@Wishbone4evr]

@@shawnfields2369 yep!

[@jr9083]

Can't wait!

[@JD-xt8cj]

Great job folks!

[@6Shooter28]

1:16:27 Production Accountant Eric Cartman

[@Breigh_Miller]

Happy Halloween Rifftrax! 👻🍬

[@michaeljones9301]

Haven't heard of this. Sounds cool.

[@amandaszymczak388]

I thought this was the " stitches" clown movie....disappointed, but I'll hang in there, it's not the same stitches 😂

[@LaineMann]

Ngl when I saw that title I thought it was gonna something VERY different😂

[@soosquatch4236]

Sitches? All about different situations

[@Birdmouse77]

Love you guys 🖤 ❤️

[@BootlyLee]

52 minutes and its still a toss up between 1794 and 2012. What year is this?!😅

[@user-bh8cg1cl2z]

19XX

[@kanna-san.]

20x6

[@user-bh8cg1cl2z]

@@kanna-san. A Challenge?

[@kanna-san.]

@@user-bh8cg1cl2z I WANMA BE THE GUY TOO!

[@brianketelboeter8522]

why would a demon decide to come to a boarding house?

[@TheGrandOracle]

Man haven’t heard Dr demento mentioned since the early 2000’s

[@michaeldonoghue9015]

I can’t even read the book about how to kill good!

[@dimasusominion1127]

Production Accountant is Eric Cartman. All makes sense now

[@shawnfields2369]

Of course! Only Cartman would work things out with the devil itself!

[@MariktheGunslinger]

Skinwalking demon lady who tempts innocent people into evil is legitimately creepy. Shame she's in this. I hope that actress has been in better projects.

[@andrewforbes1433]

I’m sure she’s been in much better projects, like regional furniture commercials and dinner theatre productions of Calendar Girls.

[@MotownFan1962]

@@andrewforbes1433 She's the lady from the old "Rappin' for Jesus" video. And she played a nun on six episodes of "Days of Our Lives".

[@clintmesle7613]

RIP Debra Mayer. Gone way too soon.

[@JereR]

Happy Halloween!