ROCD Q&A

[@lorrainecorbin2180]

“If you are anxiously attached, you are overly sensitive to cues that your partner will abandon you. As a result, you become overly dependent on your romantic partners.” I read that somewhere and it's true. Do you agree jazmine ?

[@lilyofthevalley40]

Please please please do more ROCD videos I think it helps us so so much I love the way you explain everything I can relate so much

[@inhighdefinition1111]

Lydiab same !! Never related to someone’s story so much

[@CL9193]

Ugh missed it !! You inspired me to go the a psychiatrist + OCD psychologist and my life has changed for the better. Keep inspiring ❤️❤️

[@lilyofthevalley40]

Here in France ROCD is very unknown I struggle so much to find a therapist that understands what I’m going through.. they just say « maybe you’re just not in love anymore » or « you’ll find your own happiness » doesn’t help at all!

[@fobluv2011]

Lydiab oh I feel for you

[@son9213]

Hello Lydiab, as-tu finalement réussi à trouver un thérapeute en France qui s'y connaisse en ROCD ? C'est une vraie galère...

[@lilyofthevalley40]

@@son9213 Hello! J’avais commencé des séances avec Rodolphe Hurlot par vidéo mais je n’ai pas vraiment réussi à accrocher, je le trouvais assez détaché et il avait tellement de clients en même temps que les séances étaient souvent annulées ou très en retard.. d’autres ont trouvé très bien et ont pu progresser avec lui chacun à son propre ressenti :) Aujourd’hui je vais beaucoup mieux grâce à un travail sur moi même et surtout du temps!!! N’hésites pas si besoin

[@son9213]

Merci Lydiab pour ta réponse super rapide ! J’ai tenté plusieurs fois de joindre Monsieur Hurlot puisqu’il a l’air d’être le référent des ROCD en France mais je n’ai jamais eu de réponses à mes mails ou à mes appels. J’ai découvert la chaîne OCD recovery uk qui m’aide beaucoup, j’ai lu plusieurs livres en anglais (« overcoming intrusive thougts », « brain lock ») mais malgré tout j’avoue que je patauge un peu, c’est difficile.

[@lilyofthevalley40]

@@son9213 oui je pense qu’il ne peut plus gérer l’afflux de patients et étant le seul référant en France il est surbooké. Après ne te bloque pas la dessus comme je te l’ai dis au début je pensais qu’il était mon seul espoir mais finalement le travail c’est à toi de le faire, essaye de faire de la méditation pleine conscience, de te recentrer sur ce que tu aimes faire, et surtout dis toi que tout est permanent. Les pensées dont tu penses ne jamais pouvoir te détacher se détacheront petit à petit, il faut beaucoup de temps.. aie confiance en toi :)

[@kimianderson5352]

What about constantly have intrusive thoughts? Like everyday, driving in the car, getting groceries, it always just there and it won’t go away. I know I love my partner but my brain is constantly doubting everything and has me feeling like an imposter 24/7

[@rnbwgldfsh]

idk of ur still dealing with this or what but i tend to go through periods of really bad rocd first it happened for about a week straight and it was all i thought about i felt so anxious and it was just constant worry and thinking then i was fine for about a month everything was normal again until it started again and it’s been a little on and off for probably almost the past month but when i have my bad episodes it’s just like how u say i’ll go a full week where no matter what i’m doing the thoughts are always there and i can’t get my mind off of them it has gotten better as i’ve learned about it though and i definitely think i’m less anxious and better at dealing with it now so just know that there is hope and that the thoughts aren’t real or important they don’t have any real meaning u just have to remember that u know the truth and let the thoughts pass through ur mind try not to prove them wrong or worry about them i know it’s hard but it really does help

[@cydney.p]

@@rnbwgldfsh hi im going through those periods and i just wanted to ask if you’ve ever felt like you’d be happier with someone else even tho deep inside i know im gonna hate leaving my partner:(( like he’s such a good boyfriend but idk why i feel like this and i hate it so much. Its like everything is telling me to leave him but I really dont want to, my thoughts just keep going on and on

[@rnbwgldfsh]

@@cydney.p i had many intrusive thoughts that i’d worry over about leaving my girlfriend for someone else or wondering if someone else could make me happier. if you know you don’t want to leave him and you love him then everything will be okay. If you want the thoughts to stop i suggest distracting yourself whenever one comes up. Don’t go over the thought just do something else and u won’t even remember the thought. i think i’ve gotten way better at dealing with them and i hope you can too! good luck♥️

[@rnbwgldfsh]

@@cydney.p i also recommend reading overcoming unwanted intrusive thoughts!! i haven’t read the full thing yet but when i was going through a really bad time i read the preview of the book and i think it helped me a lot

[@shirayuki6119]

@@rnbwgldfsh does your mind tricks you too that "what f you leave your partner?" then I question myself, "Do I really want to?" Then it will be answered by my thoughts, "I guess you wanted to" And I suddenly feel that I really wanted to. I'm having these troubles rn and I don't know How to deal with this.

[@Cr3lex]

When she was reading some of the questions almost all of them sounded like mine loll

[@ultr4v1ol3nce]

is it normal that this started when i met a guy which i found handsome? now i am scared that i like this guy, like i am almost sure about that but the thought of it makes me sad, i cry almost everyday and i feel so bad...i just want to be happy with my boyfriend but i am scared that i like this guy. starting therapy tomorrow, i hope this will work

[@daniwood6274]

Your videos help so much 💖

[@sydneywieland2816]

How are you constantly battling your thoughts? I have not been diagnosed but I can relate to you 1000%, my boyfriend and I want to be engaged soon and the top two thoughts are 1. do i wanna marry him? 2. do i love him? and this is causes me to ask myself questions and recheck my feelings and my body vibrations and then if i dont get the correct feeling im like what the heck, down spiral. How do you deal with this ??? its been like 2 years with him and like i seriously cant imagine a life without him and its frustrating when I cant just accept the facts of my love for my partner and thats it without questioning it.

[@jazzminlauren]

I think you need to learn that you don't have to "battle" them. You have to learn to accept them. Not accept what they're telling you, but accept that it's a defense mechanism in your brain! It's a pattern of thinking that's meant to "protect" you when in reality it's simply self sabotaging! Learn to have the thoughts and instead of spiral down a path of "what do these mean?!", try to tell the thoughts "I hear you. I see you, but I'm going to find out for myself." And then carry on with your day/life as if the thought never popped up.

[@ralu5784]

@@chelseafredericks1928 she is married with Arthur now :)

[@Savannah26889]

Does anybody have thoughts hat being in a relationship is holding them back? Or if you want to go out and date around and have casual sex? I love my boyfriend to death. I don’t even like partying or causal sex or dating..... but my brain is telling me “WHAT IF YOU CHANGED AND YOU DONT KNOW ANYMORE?!?!” I’m scared if I don’t know for sure that I want to be ina. Relationship. I’m scared of hurting both of us. I love him so much, I truly do..... but I’m lost and EVERYBODY I’ve asked says they have never felt these feelings or thoughts before?

[@dolores9886]

I have!

[@carriecanfield218]

Does anyone know if she still puts out videos...because I think her latest one is from a year ago?? I hope shes ok

[@marycerda958]

Is it normal for a long term healthy relationship to have a point of not being in love?

[@jazzminlauren]

Totally! I think realizing that you are in love, it just feels different. It doesn't feel like "love" so we tend to think we fell out of it. Long term relationships are notorious for making us challenge these love feelings because they actually are very unrealistic! As one of my favorite therapists said, "Love is like a bowl of oatmeal".

[@marycerda958]

Jazzmin Martinez is it possible for sometimes for the love to just not be there?

[@emilyrohl9337]

Mary Cerda I’m no therapist or anything , this definitely isn’t professional help but I have ROCD and I always thought “what if the love isn’t strong?” Or “is the love even there?” And I talked to Kiyomi, (I think that’s how you spell her name), and she told me that sometimes you don’t always feel love because you fall into a deeper state of love. As in you’re transitioning to something more “serious” and a deeper connection with your partner. She also kept reminding me that love is a choice so even when you don’t feel it, try and still loving actions with your partner. Like I said I’m not a professional but from my own personal experience and things I’ve learned from therapist , you won’t always feel love and sometimes it does go away because feelings come and go. But it will return!!

[@marycerda958]

Emily Rohl is it normal for it to lay for months?

[@emilyrohl9337]

Mary Cerda omg I just saw this now in my notifications lol. Sorry!! But from what I experienced, I would definitely say so. Like I said I’m not a therapist or anything but my partner and I broke up last July because I thought I fell out of love. It’s been almost a year and I still struggle with it. I think it could definitely last months. I hope you are finding peace and you are working through everything💗 wishing you the best!