Rock, Paper, Scissors - a Short Film on Teenage Depression & Cutting

**Warning: Some scenes deal w/ sensitive subject matter (cutting) and may be triggering to viewers. **
Written & Directed by Cheryl Nembhard
Produced by Youth Unlimited & Exousia Media Group
Director of Photography: Jendo Shabo
Original Score by: Joel St. John

[@Syangforeal]

Telling someone to stop being depressed is like telling a person with cancer to heal themselves

[@deinodinosuchus]

or someone who is drowning or someone with asthma to "just breathe"

[@AaliyahRandolph-rt5qz]

“Why do you have depression, there’s so much to be happy for” “Why do you have asthma, there’s so much air” Sick world we live in.

[@gr4vedg0re]

idky everytime i relapse after a longish time i come to these short films

[@CherylNembhardTV]

I'm so happy this short film has impacted you. I want you to know you got this and that you are not alone!

[@lillyturner5342]

Same

[@jessicasuzanne___]

Same 😭

[@_melk_]

same

[@dyl_pickle.i]

I think I come back to these films too avoid my own relapse 😅

[@alexmorphis4237]

Im 182 days self-harm clean!! Go me!

[@I_like_potatosss]

Congrats!

[@b3ir]

GOOD JOB!! ❤❤

[@Jazjess061]

I hope your still clean and I'm SO PROUD OF YOU for staying clean that long!!!

[@Inka-protu]

Good job!! Hope ur still clean!❤❤

[@Liightxx]

Great job!!! Omg that's so cool, I hope you're doing well!

[@geometrak4999]

"I made a mistake" "I went too deep" "I won't do it again" all things I've said. Six months clean but it feels much longer considering how long it went on. It's still hard to believe it happened and that I'm here watching this and seeing a very familiar story.

[@HannahAmbris-dt6js]

I’m so sorry that happened know that your not alone and I love you 💗

[@geometrak4999]

@@HannahAmbris-dt6js Aww, tysm, this was a really nice surprise to see today :) hope you're doing well

[@LarryxStylinson28]

Said the same thing last Tuesday after cutting down to fat(less than a week ago). Look at me now. I’ve gone even deeper. It doesn’t feel like a mistake when I know I deserve it.

[@jasbeloved]

the fact that made me start sobbing was that whenever they say jess it sounds so much like jas

[@Gyarukeir]

my parents act all su[ortive but when I relapse they be all like why do you do it and they threaten me with psychtric stays

[@amazinga2514]

same 😭 😭 😭

[@Gyarukeir]

@@amazinga2514 life sometimes really sucks 💀💀

[@EmoExpression]

I've struggled with this for 16 years. Started when I was 11. The worst part about it is that you get so good at hiding it. Because if someone finds out, then you get locked up. People treat you different so you pretend it doesn't exist. The happy smile, the laughter. "Insert normal person here." Talk to someone you trust and learn better coping skills. You don't want to be almost 30 and still doing this.

[@ashhh9922]

The therapist is just so kind

[@vent315]

frfr

[@ShockResistor]

Shes unlike any ive been to who look down and judge or act disinterested

[@charliekitten5631]

My scars have all faded away, and I know it's stupid but I wish they hadn't. I want something to show for my pain. Something to remind me all I've survived. People say that cutting is temporary, that it doesn't make the pain go away forever. But it makes it go away a hell of a lot longer than my therapist does. I'm so stuck, and I don't know what to do. And I'm afraid because I met someone who made their skin their canvas and their blood their paint. And I was able to save them. We cut ourselves together once, in a bathroom stall. I couldn't sleep for months afterward. I had always told them that I used to cut, but I was better now. I was fixed. That was a lie. You can't fix something if you don't have all the pieces. But I wanted to save them because I knew I couldn't save myself. And I did. I held them close and I told them, "I love you. Never fucking forget that. I love you so much." I haven't seen a mark on their wrist since. I can't say the same about myself. But I'm never going to see them again, and I'm afraid of what will happen. If they'll be okay without me. They have no other close friends, and their parents are negligent and selfish. And I'm not okay. I'm not okay, I'm not fine, I'm not good. And I'm sick of saying I am. Because I'm losing the people that have kept me alive, and honestly I'm starting to think that means I would be better off not living. I'm so scared, but at least I haven't been alone. But soon I will be. Soon I will be alone again. I can't be alone again.

[@melanieprados5271]

Ur not alone

[@charliekitten5631]

@@melanieprados5271 I wish that was true

[@audreydavey8201]

Hey, I'm so sorry about all this. I really am. I love you so much and you ARE worth living. Please keep fighting. You aren't alone. There are so many people out there who are also struggling. You aren't alone. I'm here for you and I love you ok?

[@charliekitten5631]

@@audreydavey8201 You're the first person whos ever told me that. The past week I've felt so down, I've taught myself how to tie a noose, in case I ever got so low I couldn't be pulled back up. You pulled me back up, at least for the moment. Thank you.

[@sunsetbun2662]

I hope you are doing better now ♡ and don't forget, you are worth it! I've gone through the same thing as you (except my friend helped me) and I'll never see them again. Hope you are well and have a good day/night!

[@kornonthekob4]

This is why I’m never letting my parents know

[@MarieHolzner]

I let my parents know (suicidal thoughts/depression) , for me it was a big mistake. They try to help but they only make it worse.

[@sarahhoogwerf1548]

Not all parents react this way. Mine were supportive and nice

[@Rylie-tu3xl]

It’s ok girly. Same here. Try to open up to a friend. Mine saved me ❤️

[@Inka-protu]

My parents accidentally found out and were mad af. My friends have saved me tho

[@HannahAmbris-dt6js]

Please tell your parents ml parents are understanding they just wanna protect you Ik I’m some random person but I love you and I care abt you 💗💗

[@user-sh6zg4mh2m]

I’m always scared to come out to someone and tell them abt what’s going on but then the therapist just sends me to hospitals

[@Music_Lover579]

Wow... like literally i've started cutting when I was 13, now im 18 and still cutting...

[@AngelRiri_]

Omg same i just turned 18 and i started around then

[@Music_Lover579]

@@AngelRiri_ Omg Really!?

[@bettercopynow]

@@Music_Lover579just know that you are loved. there will always be people to care for you, and there will always be someone to talk to. i hope you feel better now. i’ve been through what you’ve been through. you can get through this. you *can* get through it, i know you can.

[@Music_Lover579]

@bettercopynow Thank you. I really needed that

[@bettercopynow]

@@Music_Lover579 you seem like a really nice person. i hope you feel better soon :)

[@kn1fed]

Anyone else been doing this for so long that their just tired and wanna quit but like u go back everytime because it's ur only hope other than doing it

[@akiorihara]

13:03 this part just reminds me of me and my friend, I'll probably never see her again but I've always tried my hardest to be there for her, even while I was miles away. Know your never alone, there will always be someone there gor you even if you can't see it.

[@girlinthe_stars]

This is so amazing. Sad, but amazing. I suffer from depression and cutting too. This film helped me a lot, I was not at a good place, but now it`s better. Thank you for this.

[@CherylNembhardTV]

Hey Maddie, I'm so glad to hear that the film spoke to you. I'm so happy to hear that you're beginning to feel a lot better and that you're in a good place now. You are not alone, God loves you and so many of us are cheering you on!!

[@mochiia8049]

I never thought I'd find a video that has captured my relationship with someone and how it reflects the chain of help. My friend has been guiding me through the past month or so and I know they had someone who filled the same role for them a while ago.

[@em-jonesx07]

The ending hits hard, from both POVs

[@miawagner4245]

9 days clean I really want to relapse but I want to do this for a friend I really liked

[@toriokeefeokeefe1111]

I know you don’t know me but I’m proud of you for making it 9 days and I don’t know if your religious but I believe that God is proud of you and loves you💕

[@kn1fed]

Hey how's it going

[@miawagner4245]

@@kn1fed I ended up making it to 15 days the I relapsed I'm currently 3 days clean

[@kn1fed]

@@miawagner4245 I'm proud of u for 3 days remember relapse is apart of recovery

[@CherylNembhardTV]

I'm so proud of you! Keep going, you got this!

[@catqueenowo513]

I love how real the film feels and how respectful the therapidt was to ask if she could pray for her. Because not everyone is comfortable with it. This just feels so natural

[@samssams666]

This is me....I've only had one relapse this year and I distract myself so I don't do it again.....now I'm counting down the days until next april when it will be a year free and am hoping I make it. It was march when I relapsed and idk when nor do I recall why. It's one of those things where you just feel it as an instinct to do it ya know

[@CherylNembhardTV]

Hey friend, I'm so moved that you see yourself in the short film and I'm so sorry to hear that you've had a tough journey so far. Super proud of you for all of the amazing progress you've made. You're not alone, please know that God loves you & made you with incredible talents and Purpose. We are all cheering you on to your one year anniversary goal of freedom! 💜🎉🎉🎊🎊

[@samssams666]

Thank you so much! You've really made my day! I hope you do great as well! 💖💖💖💖

[@Rylie-tu3xl]

I relapsed this month. I had an Ed and was depressed for 3 years, and was 8 months Ed free and 4 sh free. I’m just trying to move past it.

[@HxdrxYT]

@@Rylie-tu3xlI believe you can do this!

[@Rylie-tu3xl]

@@HxdrxYT Thank you! I relapsed for the 6th time in my SH about 24 hours ago and i think i have a friend who has convinced / scared me into not doing it again 🥰😗 Ill be ok and thank you so much for your support

[@imnotaddingmyname2696]

i grew up in a toxic / poor family my dad would drink often and not care about his kids or wife’s feelings it would be the smallest things that made him mad him getting mad while drunk was the worst part i have so many childhood memories but not the good kinds their was this one time that my dad was mad at my mother and my mom was sitting on the couch my dad pushed her head down bending her and sat on her back nearly crushing her i remember hearing my siblings scream and cry in fear their was another time where my dad was beating my mom this may not have been the smartest idea but me and my siblings ran to the park i remember my sister saying “ stop crying or they will call cps” i wish they did call cps but after my sister said that my mom speeded to the park in her car and told us to get one or two of my siblings got in the car then my dad pulled up and said “ ashlynn if you get in that car i will hurt you “ or something like that i wonder what would have happened if i got in that car their was also another time where i was doing bad in school and he told me if i didn’t do good he would drill a hole in my head i remember being so scared and sobbing while he was telling me to stop crying or he would beat me there was another time where i spilled popcorn in my closet by accident and i was picking it up and my dad walked in for some reason and my closet was open so he saw it and got mad and started yelling and then my mom walked in and was defending me my dad wasn’t to happy about that and they started fighting i started crying and then this is stupid but my mom told me to stop crying and that this was my fault i couldn’t even feel safe at school as a child i was considered “ugly “ people bullied me so much i was convinced i was ugly but i didn’t care that much i was 9 but when i got to the age of 10 i started caring i used to cry myself to sleep nearly every night at the age of 11 i started cutting but with dull scissors i am currently 12 i now use blades and have a big cutting addiction my dad doesn’t beat me that much anymore but after all that trauma my anger turned into sadness I’ve cried so much and also held back so much tears i can hardly get any tears to fall my parents are so annoying i hate them so much if i get caught crying they will say “ stop crying whiney baby” and make a total fool out of me they also sexualize me any time they get i can’t wear anything without them saying i’m gonna get raped at this point they don’t even care about my feelings they only care about money being in their bank and their feelings this is what causes me stress all of these memories it shatters my heart and makes me stressed with the urge to cut myself my parents asked me if i want a therapist and i’ve said yes but they just ignore that and move on with there life i am only 12 and i don’t want to continue life anymore everything seems pointless school is just stressing me even more i have all of this hard work to do and annoying people picking on me i haven’t got the help i need yet but hopefully i will soon

[@marlenbayona9904]

A year ago you wrote this .. I pray your life situation has gotten better , it saddens me to read how you been treated, don’t give up hope and just know that Jesus loves you so much and he is looking out for you , if you haven’t yet reached out to him , he is waiting for you to talk to Him .. He is what helped me . He’s the friend we need . Take care , be strong and don’t ever give up .

[@sunnamoon2092]

I teared up reading your comment, I truly am sorry. Please know that its NEVER your fault, I genuinely hope you are better now. ❤

[@b3ir]

Hey, Are you still there? How has it been? I hope everything is fine now. I suffer from this addiction as well but I believe in you getting over it and starting anew, putting down the razor for good can change your life and make it better, instead, take up a hobby like art, crochet, knitting or playing an instrument, Those helped me for a time but my parents forced me to stop but i also noticed that handsy projects really get my mind off of the addiction, like painting and using clay to make something you want to keep forever, I promise, if you at least try with a little effort, things will be easier, my love. ❤ (I'm 14 and hoping you're okay rn!)

[@Aishycheesecrackers431]

I hope you r feeling better as it’s been a year but if not I’m here for you ❤️.. I’ve been thru smth similar so ik exactly how it feels like! 🤕 luv y’all and fyi I’m 14 too!

[@kedidegilimkeskeolsam]

how are you now, did you get the help you need

[@izzy5823]

I relpased with my bilimia and self harm last night but im trying im gonna come back from it

[@Jazjess061]

Hey, I'm so sorry that this happened and I hope over the last week or so you've been doing a little better. You deserve to be better. You deserve to feel valued enough that you don't need to put yourself through that just to feel ok. I'm here if you need to talk to anyone at any time.

[@JalapenoCat1933]

You got this! You can get through this, stay strong!! :) ❤

[@izzy5823]

@@JalapenoCat1933 thank you so much ❤️

[@addies4066]

I feel you I see you I hear you I relate to you and you are not alone. Hang in there girly ❤ I will pray for you 💗

[@amazinga2514]

Keep going Don't give up 💟 Remember that even if your close ones don't care about you, just remember there is always someone on the internet who does You might not believe me but I thought the same a while ago Now I understand just how true this is

[@Thehurt13]

18:09, when she tossed the scissors aside I started crying again.. because it reminded me of a point when someone else did the same for me, and I hope one day I’ll get to help someone along the way

[@weirdo_duh]

I have scars on my left arm. I have scars on my shoulder and wrist. I can’t help but run my fingers over them and think about cutting and feel the blood drip from my arm. I relapsed twice and in both times i still think about cutting. I hade multiple therapists that either helped my mom than me, that I couldn’t keep (due to financial reasons), or because they weren’t consistent with scheduling/ didn’t attend to meetings. I see my scars and wish for mor, but reading people’s stories of overcoming and surviving is the thing that actually motivates me to seek out for help. My brothers makes me feel comfortable more than my mom does. I struggle so much mentally that I wonder if my mom is even trying to understand what I’m going through or if she is just trying to convince me to follow her religion.

[@juliaanderson7779]

I used to cut too. I'm so proud of you for surviving and so sorry you are going through that. 🫶🏼🫂 Something that helped me was "therapy" apps- ive got 2 called calm harm and Sanvello that have helped with my mental health. Thinking of you and sending good vibes 💛

[@arohaarmy3524]

Came to watch this because I was this close to relapsing right now

[@FacialVomitTurtleFights]

I live vicariously through films such as these.

[@rawr5693]

Same

[@yaboifredrickscadon]

I hope you are doing alright brother/sister.

[@heleneeeeeeeee]

this is one of the most underrated short films on this topic!!

[@hornet7698]

how did they do to fake the sh scars/cuts? it looks very realistic

[@ELine39]

not really 😂 there are random chunks on the left side that look like foam painted pink and her arm doesn't look anything like what it would look like had she gone to the extent of losing that much blood. ... nothing very accurate at all in my opinion

[@k1yv2xii]

why are my dermal cuts tingling while watching this

[@blueduckey2]

Wha

[@k1yv2xii]

@@blueduckey2 wha

[@blueduckey2]

@@k1yv2xii strange

[@k1yv2xii]

what is strange@@blueduckey2

[@blueduckey2]

@@k1yv2xii that your cuts tingle when you watch a video lolz

[@susiemelirosa7182]

I am 1 year and 8 months clean from self harm but I really want to do it again but since it’s almost summer I can’t find anywhere to do it without my mom losing her shit

[@natsuki2133]

Congrats that is such great progress! Plz try not to do it again

[@heleneeeeeeeee]

i’m so so so proud of you!! keep going i know you can do it

[@heleneeeeeeeee]

@@natsuki2133 it’s an addiction and really hard to get away from saying try not to do it again won’t help, for some people even make it worse

[@dana8774]

I’m literally crying I need someone 😭😭😭

[@CherylNembhardTV]

Hey Dana, I'm so glad that my short film spoke to you. Hope you're doing okay and please know that you're never alone. :-)

[@dana8774]

@@CherylNembhardTV thank you

[@dana8774]

@@rishigaming9708 thank youuu

[@Fwkatiee4]

Stay strong love remember you are amazing and you matter and I’m sure there’s someone that loves you very much if you did anything they would miss u 💗💗

[@alianewman6506]

me too, me too, I'm balling my eyes out

[@denkikaminari8475]

I wished people understood me like they did... Instead im seen as a psychic patient.. my dad scares me telling me that i ruin his life that everything i do gets reflected onto him that I'm not the victim... He is.. i have been suffering so fucking much, i just want it to stop..

[@paytonlundy4673]

I wanna tell my mom but I know she would be furious. She wouldn’t want to help me.

[@JalapenoCat1933]

If it’s dangerous for you, don’t tell her, but please get some help from a helpline, or just a friend who you trust

[@ursula8264]

2022 and I’m still here

[@Jocelyn_Herrick]

I cut to forget. But I always remember 💔

[@JalapenoCat1933]

You can get through it, stay strong!!

[@D0.Not_DIsturb_01]

“I’m fine I won’t do it again I promise, I made a mistake” I’ve said that to her before. She’s caught me twice since 2020. And both times I had to tell my therapist because she made me. I have not gone to a hospital yet for it

[@Mizu_571]

If you need to vent I'm here

[@kathrynhunt7320]

I feel so alone

[@maddyparry3413]

I hope your ok now, if not im happy to talk to you :)

[@Jazjess061]

I hope your doing better, and even if not I'm here.

[@theaudreyfam3274]

im trying to be one year self harm clean and one month clean from bulimia .... i just wanna stop but i dont know how... i feel like no one cares and im not good enough

[@elene_hbm]

hey im super super proud of you! I care okay?

[@mysticallily3128]

I care. Please stay strong for me. If you can respond, respond daily or monthly and I can check up on you. Find an interest you can stick to- as for me it’s musical theater or math. It gives you something to look forward to. ❤

[@user-kz4vj6im5k]

Good job honey!!!❤❤❤❤❤ I'm so proud of you

[@coolhans9685]

17:22 that is past me I still do it everyday one time I almost died it scared 😱 the sh out of me I couldn’t breathe my lips were blue my lungs were almost out of air and my eyes were red cause I went through the skin and it cut multiple veins I thought I wasn’t going to make it but I went to the ER and they saved my life so that was my experience of life and death and my face was covered all over with tears I was hard crying 😭

[@davidsonmusicofficial]

Damn this hits hard.

[@Blipboy401]

Im scared my parents would be informed i cant tell anyone

[@Jazjess061]

I'm here if you need to talk. You deserve to be cared for.

[@unreliablekid4172]

at this point im just gonna jump off the 5ft floor of my fkin school why am i searching for this again

[@jessiea4250]

Are you still with us??

[@mimosaaw758]

hey?!

[@Cam-mt1zy]

are you okay?

[@j3mma_p9]

are you good?

[@unreliablekid4172]

I'm good but I took 10 paracetamols yesterday everything is getting worser I failed school everything I still feel nothing tho it might either off me or damage my liver

[@cool.noodle014]

life is hard, you know? i wish that just telling yourself that its gonna be okay worked, but it doesn't, so people just find other ways to numb the pain. I have scars too, and I barely wear short sleeves because it's embarrassing for people to know what I do in the dark, and when I'm in pain. all I know is that it gets better, and I wish you all the best:)

[@depressedmotherflunker6539]

This reminds me of me and hurts because I have gone through this (minus the near suicide) and my name is also Jessica, and everyone calls me Jess.... I cut myself almost daily, in fact, I am laying in my bed with a bit of blood running down my arm... (Don't worry, I'm not in danger to suicide atm. I also cut pretty shallow so it's all good).

[@mollyvisentin7764]

Please even if its shallow, you cant do this you have so much to live for

[@missequestrian3448]

When you’re trying to comment but not freak everyone out lol. This reminds me of talking on the suicide hotline - it’s like I want them to know I’m hurting but I also don’t want them to call the cops on me... Hope you’re doing okay, try to find a way to get help, even for the small stuff. It won’t just go away, it’ll get worse if you don’t do anything about it. Good luck beautiful person!

[@depressedmotherflunker6539]

@@missequestrian3448 Lol, ya. Thank you, and yes, I get it, it's hard cause you want to tell people, but you don't want them to freak out, or tell everyone around them or even call the cops like you said. And thank you again, I hope that you are doing good as well. 🥰

[@missequestrian3448]

@@depressedmotherflunker6539 thanks! 💖

[@jessiea4250]

My name is Jessica but I like to be called Jess. When it's summertime I sometimes were a jacket with a hood so please don't judge me. We are all human.

[@nex7071]

6 years in XD trying to skip around heading to mental hospitals :P

[@kaitlynvanvelzen6914]

And my parents trust me with a knife in my room 😅😅

[@changeyournarrative]

Such an important topic to shed light on. What gave you the inspiration to create this?

[@Kate_AF]

Does anyone know who the actress who plays Jess is

[@Kai-kn8kn]

This is literally me

[@Therealcirrus]

7:10 Saving my spot! Interesting story so far

[@metalfamilyfanandqueenfan]

Hi

[@LittleAsian_]

💕💕💕🥺

[@The_Service_Doodles]

These films always make me wanna relapse

[@shannonhill4901]

At first my parents did not believe me

[@Liightxx]

So sorry that happened to you, hope you're better now!

[@m4Sk3D_w0Lf]

i always like watching these but the gore and thought of if makes me feel sick. i did “minor” self-harm never with razors. i wanna watch these but man my brain really fucking hates them.

[@yd9mb2]

Cutting pain won't work, the only way to heal is to talk to someone, I promise it will work

[@FyodorIsAliveFyodorIsAlive]

I get threatened that when i relapse and summer comes by they will publically humiliate me. They promised me 7 months ago i would get help. it was a lie. At this point i dont even care i cant even make 15 hours clean and ive prepared for the 13th of may (my mother's birthday) to give her the present she always wanted- peace and to not be bothered from my bullshit lol :3

[@MeyersFamily15]

This is sad

[@Lumityobsessed22]

I’m sorry but the blood was so dramatic every time I’ve tried no blood

[@lily-may1971]

I need help

[@metalfamilyfanandqueenfan]

U okay?

[@user-sh6zg4mh2m]

I’m always scared to come out to someone and tell them abt what’s going on but then the therapist just sends me to hospitals