When the final boss is a gen Z

[@JoCat]

LAHABREA WHAT HAVE YOU DONE

[@Serachu01]

Gotta say, if the credits weren't there, I wouldn't have known that was you. Great voice acting!

[@YukkiofBlades]

How many takes did this take, I can't imagine speaking all of that without breaking into laughter

[@StraToKxe]

Happy to see you still have fun with 14 Much love

[@TransientWitch]

I guess breadman must be resurrected and rendered toast once again?

[@lilwyvern4]

We miss you. We love you dad.

[@Rong_Rong]

*This Cutscene Cannot be skipped*

[@linkerspinkers]

Even the normal cutscene is so long

[@gameviller2740]

Despite knowing this, all players instinctively hit esc, hoping that one day, you get a skip prompt.

[@aboriginite]

The thing that makes this truly evil and menacing.....

[@RIN-nj5po]

AHHHHH MAKE ITTTT STOPPPPP 😭 💀 MY BRAIN HURTSSSSS AHHHHH

[@BloodTrinity]

*Does the good old close application and reconnect to skip it*

[@algore7]

Never has a 3 minute video felt so long

[@andibachtiar8788]

Do you mean so rong?

[@GloriousJP]

You hit the nail on the head with this comment lmao

[@Emerald-kun]

Wait that was 3 minutes 💀

[@kamil118]

It was so long that gaius hit enrage

[@Zulk_RS]

Rong rong makes 3 minutes feel very long long.

[@phoenix402]

"garlemald garleseethe garlecope" - Gaius, probably

[@iantaakalla8180]

Given that Garlemald’s schtick is that they are justified to conquer because aether manipulators ruined their lives and moved them to Ilsabard, but also seem to be just a second coming of the Allagan empire, and both are created to be as destructive as possible by the same person, GarleMALD is actually a good pun for what that empire has become. Also, in Endwalker Garlemald was really GarleCOPING hard that they still had some fight in them.

[@MyVanir]

@@iantaakalla8180 They then Garleseethed when they were offered a reasonable path forward that required them to get off their high horse and work with others instead of calling them barbarians.

[@sunbeames]

You can tell he's evil when his words causes actual harm.

[@renzo2able]

either that or he's a bard

[@MeriMomento]

@@renzo2ableconsidering he’s a gunbreaker…I highly doubt that…he’s spamming Provoke…

[@Astrawboy_NameAlreadyInUse]

Yeah, the harm.

[@Doppia1581]

the fact i can understand this, either means i am online too much, or i have done praetorium too many times, i dont know whats worse

[@Gamemaster-64]

Yes

[@iantaakalla8180]

Best/worst part is that most of the slang is used correctly. Primals are likened to simping. Gaius does indeed see himself as speaking hard truths fr ong. And he does see himself as the alpha male amidst the beta Eorzeans who are split and rely on Primals.

[@insa9026]

Can you translate? Because I didn't understand shit...

[@Gamemaster-64]

@@insa9026 Just listen to the original speech.

[@insa9026]

​@@Gamemaster-64 ok I found it... Now my brain is translating this into the original...

[@thyleria]

The remaining 2 braincells in my head fought each other while watching this video and none survive

[@coconuthead98]

"Such devastation.... This was NOT my intention"

[@NeoSpira]

@@coconuthead98 i gotta know the gen z equivalent to this lmao

[@theuzi8516]

​@@NeoSpira"Major oof... mb fr fr"?

[@seblh]

you are lucky I had only one left

[@MyVanir]

@@seblh Did it commit sudoku?

[@AGrumpyWitch]

[Upon proceeding to the video, several colloquialisms will play in sequence.]

[@iantaakalla8180]

[It is recommended you have multiple tabs open to search up the slang as you go along.]

[@GRAVKEN]

This how formal english will sound like after 1000 year

[@corruptjet6134]

I'm glad I'll be dead for that.

[@letsrank9349]

Oh god

[@GRAVKEN]

@@letsrank9349 it sounds funny , Imagine someone saying this in a poetry contest with a straight face and everyone claps and cheers.

[@sammicopor]

​@@GRAVKEN After Jesus Christ returns & a thousand years go by, you will be surprised by how language will sound, it will be much more divine based.

[@GRAVKEN]

@@sammicopor Isa (peace be upon him) was syriac on earth , but I am not ignoring the fact that he might be able to talk in other languages

[@ariannasv22]

I starting losing all reading comprehension, and when I looked down at the play bar, only like 30 seconds had passed...

[@nationeer]

Gyattus van Baelsar, truly the worst thing that the Garlean Empire ever unleashed on Eorzea

[@Another_Dusk]

Garlean empire in Ohio be like

[@Dude_Nice]

Gyattussy van BaeLSUS

[@kogorun]

Gyattus Von Baelsar, the Black Airforce of Garlemold

[@RegalChalice]

You know what, maybe the Endsinger had a point-

[@BlueWoWTaylan]

More like Gyattus van BASEDsar

[@asnail7346]

*Metal Pipe Sound Effect* "...Big yikes, this was out of pocket fr."

[@Irimu_]

Praetorium but it physically hurts you.

[@hawk4558]

So just your average Prae run…

[@Irimu_]

@@hawk4558 It used to hurt. Now it's short enough to be manageable.

[@gensationaldraws]

At least it would make me feel something

[@EN4myX]

Praetorium is suffering already

[@lemnlyme]

so, the exact same

[@AntizombiRUS]

"and in this land of COPE that one hot take is FACTS on god" Not sure why but this is my favourite part

[@ilucasz]

Because it may be the only sane thing said there.

[@iantaakalla8180]

Honestly, out of slang this is basically the child saying the emperor lacks pants or something like that. A person daring to say what has been danced around.

[@TheDool]

"Your L shall serve as proof of my readiness to COOK" is my favorite line.

[@spell105]

prolly the way he enunciated ON GOD, is just so good

[@Zephyranthes-23]

Smart move Gaius, you have basically destroyed their brain cells even before the fight has started.

[@divineroc]

When has a single WoL ever had a working brain? They are simply told where to go and who to kill.

[@mediocremason]

"What drives men to GYATT" So deep...

[@Ieatpaste23]

Me, a gen x: I... don't... know? 🤔 We need a gen z to english translator.

[@UH-60_Blackhawk]

​@@Ieatpaste23 gyatt = buttocks. big ones specifically.

[@matthewbrennan1036]

who hurt you for you to make this

[@Rong_Rong]

The Ascians

[@DewaKardika]

@@Rong_Rong You mean the Asians?🤣

[@zeurgash1456]

​@@Rong_Rong DAMN YOU LAHABREAD!

[@juanperezwar8748]

Your mom bro.

[@sandyholmerin2925]

@@Rong_Rong Such devastation!

[@Takinu]

Reviving JoCat just to make him voice this is one of the biggest power moves I have ever seen.

[@Froggsroxx]

You literally compressed the pain of a full preatorium into 3 minutes, that's like against the Geneva convention or something

[@hoodiesticks]

Does this count as cruel and unusual punishment?

[@El_chino944]

⁠@@hoodiesticksit was cruel and definitely unusual

[@chickenfate5235]

And brother. It’s *mogtome* season…

[@cheesemuffin8129]

A pre-rework praetorium

[@InquisitorThomas]

I mean honestly this scene is a highlight of the Preatorium, because at least it’s voice acted and very quotable, there are several other long drawn unskippable cutscenes before this that grate way more.

[@xrli82]

Maelstrom company adventurer: what is he saying? Twin adder company adventurer: I don't know. WoL & immortal flames company adventurer: hold up, let him cook.

[@coconuthead1361]

So Rong yet so right

[@IDESTROYER236]

0:59 for the spicy frame.

[@Notsu01]

why.

[@IDESTROYER236]

Why not @@Notsu01? It's tradition.

[@Notsu01]

@@IDESTROYER236 no horni allowed here

[@FinalShieldnobi]

I prefer 2:44

[@BlazeFiresoul]

It’s about 1:00

[@zackr.7628]

The area in my brain responsible for cringing: "Such devastation..."

[@megaultrasonic]

Ring Rong: This *was* my intention!

[@AudaciousBean]

What can man do against such _reckless kringe?_

[@iantaakalla8180]

And in this land of stuffiness and stagnation, this one meme will bring its ruination!

[@KenanVonKaiser]

*THIS CUTSCENE CANNOT BE SKIPPED!*

[@IUbeef9]

His speech is bussin frfr no cap... It's also a cognitohazard Help

[@Ch4pp13]

I don't like that KZbin gives me the option to "translate to english"

[@melissas4874]

The funny thing? YT asking me if I want to translate your post to English.

[@ariannasv22]

Can you speak English please

[@Drasoini]

A MTF has been dispatched to your location, please remain calm.

[@kazueglassheardt7185]

KZbin doesn't believe this comment is in English.

[@patornzgd164]

Ah yes the infamous legatus of the 14th gearlean imperial legion, Gyatus van Rizzler also known as "The Sigma Wolf"

[@JaceGarrdok]

watching this is like swimming through concrete

[@LoremasterLobsang]

I saw the thumbnail and clicked for the laugh, didn't expect CINEMA

[@LynSain]

Watching this with 100% audio without skipping a single millisecond is a torture. Yet my masochism demands it.

[@Jacethederg]

Watch it again

[@BlueWoWTaylan]

You were so preoccupied with whether or not you could, you didn’t stop to think if you should...

[@blushingralseiuwu2222]

THAT'S JOCAT????

[@ShinwaneKido]

From his Crap Guide series (Monster Hunter World, Dungeons & Dragons, and FF XIV Online), it's definitely him

[@notmousse]

Yes, his "normal voice" is the act.

[@hoodiesticks]

I'm actively trying to hear Jocat's voice in there, and I still don't believe it

[@cloud09gaming]

Honestly I'm just happy to have JoCat still doing things!

[@PhunkieZero]

Jocat's villain arc

[@realKenM]

I hope all your queues take hours to pop, your rolls to be hardstuck on 0, your tanks to never enable stance, your healers to be Cure 1 spammers and market placings to be permanently undercut

[@AmayaTetsuki]

the cure 1 spammers is going too far. (delete freecure)

[@artkrub7]

RIP How very glib you will be missed.

[@gateauxq4604]

RIP creeping mendacity

[@HyperfixationWizard]

When he said "Louis Vuitton" I fucking lost it. That pun was 4th dimensional. JoCat out here doing triple T-spins on that joke.

[@Agilku117]

By the gods! Don't let the boss speak ever again.

[@LocalSlasher]

YT asked me to rate your comment for some reason

[@nir4s63]

crazy how it's almost 1:1 recreation. Highly recommend playing in alongside the original cutscene

[@Mentosalon]

I'd join the dark side after that speech no questions asked.

[@MrAlloy-rc7rt]

Eorzea is Cringe and the Empire is Based, you'd be making the intelligent choice.

[@luckystriker842]

​@@MrAlloy-rc7rt Eorzea is cringe. You ever been to Limsa?

[@freXampl]

1: Huh? 2: Your mother 3: I should go 4: Stay silent

[@Gridiron992]

I respect you both for being able to make this without dying inside completely.

[@ackbarreserve]

I've never felt so old. My blood Is powder, my sinews dust, my bones bleach on the banks of the Styx, my Soul and Mind long shattered and dispersed through Cosmos

[@LowIntSpecimen]

jocat! also that is a pretty killer gaius impression

[@blackh9604]

This video is a masterpiece. The editing, the poses, the pacing. Choked on my enchiladas

[@Aibadenshi]

When your average gen Z got isekai as the final boss.

[@Sithreis]

This was delivered WAY better than any other similar skit Ive seen. its not even close. bussin/10

[@JS-kr8fs]

Yes, Bahamut? This one over here.

[@KawaiiNeko333]

Welp we're getting an 8th, 9th snd 10th Calamity.

[@icefyer2]

@@KawaiiNeko333 Fantastic. Just a few more shards to go then!

[@TyloThorn]

"The sigmas summon chads to touch grass in their stead." Humanity in a nutshell.

[@Another_Dusk]

Such devastation, *that was my intention*

[@arahabaki9325]

I just want to know how many outtakes this has, no way in hell someone can record this in one go without laughing their ass off 💀

[@MyWifeistheMC]

He just... kinda kept going

[@TheSrSalvatore-]

Look at the damage that not being able to skip a cutscene does, ARE YOU HAPPY YOSHI!?

[@thedigitaldummy3098]

“You don’t understand. You can’t translate Japanese to English 1-1. Sometimes changes need to be made as a part of the localisation.” The localisation:

[@bimasetyaputra8381]

If the original was meant to be cringe, then this would be quite a faithful localisation lol

[@Tudsamfa]

The fan translations that pride themselves on not making any changes literally sound the exact same. Replace all the slang with Japanese words and annotate them to the point they fill the entire screen, and you have your average "true translation" done by fans.

[@hihihi1q23]

These changes are objectively superior to the original version, though. Clearly, you are both a simp and cringe.

[@frogglen6350]

I like how instead of 4kids censorship, we're just getting gen z tier dialogue

[@Synest2]

one of the reasons I learned japanese (despite liking the language, playing japanese-only games and planning on studying there for a year) is to actually not have to fuck with both fansubs and localizations... both are equally bad but for different reasons

[@pocketdirt338]

Even with this brainrot dialog .. I can still hear his actual dialog. Curse you mogtome evennnntttttsss!

[@keishii2648]

Truly a GOAT that can cook, dub to hear my Sigma JoCat still *_B U S S I N !_*

[@mightydreadnought5205]

I can feel my brain melting with each sentence

[@ArifRWinandar]

New accents and languages are born when a group of people are isolated, but in a world where everyone is connected, the thing isolating them is not space, but time.

[@__Hanasei__Levinus__]

such wisdom found in this dung heap of a brainrotting video... thank you, you are the flowering lotus amidst filth.

[@NicStride]

I think I've watched this 5 times in the last 24 hrs, I don't know why I love it so much

[@MsSiwy96]

AAAAAH my brain..... the neurons.... dying..... grey matter...... rotting..... ugh.

[@voices4dayz469]

*ENDURE IT!*

[@jeremiahjohnson2784]

Your L shall serve as proof of my Readiness to COOK

[@MarioSonic46]

Lahabrea: Speak Plainly, Garlean.

[@iantaakalla8180]

Gaius: “I do speak plainly, it’s just that you always use antiquated terms. It marks you as sus when you vent in front of the Scions then claim you were scanning yourself at medbay.”

[@GRAVKEN]

Two legends cooperated together to create an immortal masterpiece , our sons shall see this and must be the thrice knowledge which live untouchable in their brains.

[@Blablarrr]

All jokes aside, its legitimately interesting to witness the world's (ergo, most of the internet's) official language evolve. I'm not a native speaker, but i've been terminally online most of my life, and at first i kinda hated being able to understand this new "dialect". Now I feel like an observer, witnessing culture unfold on a globally connected level. Even if a lot of it is influenced by underdeveloped brains.

[@silverdragon122]

Personally i hate it. A friend of mine talks like this in real life and it's genuinely exhausting trying to decipher every god damn word and sentence.

[@winmanzerodeaths776]

When I close my eyes, I can still hear it. Such poetry.

[@kaltsssit]

Never before has a single video sparked so much hatred in my soul before. This is truly cursed, thank you op

[@omarjimenezromero3463]

my max was 1 minute, i can not endure more of this sht. kudos to rong rong and be able to make this video without having a rage episode.

[@notmousse]

JoCat's revenge.

[@2videosilike]

i got to two before i went comatose

[@Rashtor]

Security doing the "let him cook" motion was something I didn't know I wanted to see until now.

[@Hagnkerchief]

I was not prepared to invuln the Jamiroquai Grab

[@iamthinking2252_]

Virtually insane

[@iantaakalla8180]

Actually that grab would be very cool as a mechanic. One play is marked and they have to move away from everybody else lest they grab others and throw others for extra damage and a longer stun time than him grabbing just one player.

[@Egolithz]

As a millennial, I now understand when my parents told me they couldn't understand millennial slang....

[@deadboyo2773]

This is very difficult to justify pressing like

[@Ariuss3]

I played this during the cutscene and it matches the timing really closely. I'm impressed!

[@TheDR70]

Dude.... Why do you do this to us?

[@ricijs2000]

You know.....maybe Bahamut was right to destroy the world after all

[@Icy-nee-san]

This is it. This is your best video. You can't ever top it.

[@Reaper1722]

Imagine getting Richard Epcar to voice this. He has a Cameo iirc.

[@Rong_Rong]

I actually tried contacting him to voice this, but too bad he didn't reply.

[@smolangelo9969]

Between RongDong's funny ah animation and JoGOAT delivering a straight bussing yapp, this was true sigma cooking.

[@KayinDreemurr]

by the seven hells, Lahabrea show up please have ultima cast, well, ULTIMA and save us!

[@piranhazzzzz]

30 seconds in and this is already painful

[@kevins9148]

Everyone is worried about how many times they heard the speech that noone stopped to question how jocat got Gaius's cadence and mannerisms down that well

[@piewolfyt]

My memory will make space. This speech, forever sealed in my brain.

[@EXxCloudEXx]

I felt like i was the only one entertained and impressed he actually summerized the speech through brainrot perfectly even tho im not even gen z and was born on jan 1990.

[@Surge_N_Destroy]

Lost it when the guy said let him cook. As if he wanted to hear where his monolog is going.

[@DAMNSKIPPYINC]

I saw that you uploaded and i was so excited. Heard Jocats voice and i screamed, and then the remaining 2 minutes and 30 seconds of this video made my nose start bleeding.

[@daiekimashin]

Magazine Extension : Hollow Point

[@itsmoggintime]

Gaius said "COME" and they came even the kupos

[@lvl5Vaporeon]

2:43 If you say so...

[@09nicco]

And when i thought Urianger was hard to understand

[@Irimu_]

Pain

[@larry9351]

I like how instead of revealing that their gods will destroy the land he just calls them mid

[@leonardomedici7449]

JoCat and Rong Rong in a Gaius video!!!! i needed this in my life.

[@ClamantesDaemonium]

The fact that I have some semblance of the meaning of this monologue, despite not being familiar with the source, has me, as the kids say, shook AF

[@psychoh7329]

rong rong remembered the password and yet he was far too gone

[@marshroverv5632]

reading the credits: "...JOCAT!?"

[@MorningSunGamer]

This is physically killing me. Please revoke this weapon of mass destruction. I am dead.

[@shukurogane]

It's only 3 minutes, but it feels like I have watched it for 3 hours

[@rixardinho7791]

When the boss verbal abuse hits harder than his attacks 💀💀💀

[@junglecack]

Just turned 35 and only had to look up one word. Thanks twitch chat for giving me all this brainrot.

[@aliultimate009]

This video basically compressed the whole Gen Z social media terms - trends & memes into one place ... mind F[___]y at best 🤣

[@farisanwari777]

I know nothing about the game's lore, and so spent a hot minute trying to parse that... smorgasbord of words. "Uhh, Eorzea's unity is a lie, they summon champions to fight in their stead while the common people rest complacent, the champions know this and are dripfed with wealth and power/aether(?). Only I am capable of leading humanity to their destined glory." Is that right? My brain cells are steaming in agony 😢

[@FTW1230]

Kinda, the “they” are referring to the beast tribes which are the more sentient non humanoid creatures that inhabit eorzea and they tend to summon primals (false gods) when they feel threaten. There are a lot of reasons why primals are bad, but it’s mainly that they both drain the land dry of aether and usually require sacrifices of either crystal or lives to sustain them, but from the perspective of beast tribe, there gods have come to save and protect them from humanoid races as the relationship between eorzeans and the beast tribes are extremely rocky at this point in the story. The bad guy in the video is for garlean general named gaius van baelsar who is spear heading the war on eorzea, why? Cause garleans view other nations like eorzeas as a land of savages and they want to unite the world under garlean rule for the betterment of man kind, from their perspective, hence the long monologue about why he feels it is just to claim this country as his under garlean rule.

[@farisanwari777]

@@FTW1230 thank you!

[@Luna-Starfrost]

@@farisanwari777 That was pretty on point, ngl.

[@triela7502]

It made sense for the first like 3 sentences

[@sarnicholas4053]

This is one of the most insanely cursed things I've ever had inflicted on my eardrums. Excellent work, I love it.

[@mikhael3336]

I am suffering

[@vknives]

I did not expect this to actually be funny. This is great.