Roommate Is Insisting I Don't Use Certain Ingredients Due To Her BF's Allergies r/Relationships

[@paden1865able]

When you dump a kid, don't expect to walk back in and take them back from the people who've been raising and loving them. The child is safer without the birth mother, sadly. All children deserve loving parents but not all parents deserve a loving child.

[@Nathan_Bookwurm]

The kid certainly wasn't the main priority in the sisters life. I'm glad the kid has loving parents now.

[@fromsami]

Couldn’t have said it better myself!

[@jackspring7709]

Well said.

[@juliemcgugan1244]

Agree! In the UK, there have been so many high profile cases where, because the authorities here regard the reunification of mother and child paramount to all else, there have been disastrous consequences where children have died in the home of their bio-parents, who have not been sufficiently prepared to take the child back.

[@maxinejones2314]

​@@jackspring770999

[@Tyler171819]

They are being entitled. This is HER guest, trying to dictate what YOU, a grownass adult own in your own apartment.

[@kemonono]

@@HEFFATIM imagine her parents owning his allergen products in airtight containers in some cupboard, what they gonna do? shout at them too? 💀

[@SherlocksLeftNipple]

If he's that deathly allergic, why can't the roommate just go to his place? No chance of him catching his death from his parents' cupboards. He has no right to try and control what OP has in THEIR kitchen, in THEIR apartment. The roomie needs to stop babying Kyle and treat him like a competent adult, who has to take responsibility for his own allergies. Edit: Ah, the classic controlling mooch. What do you want to bet he's unemployed and planned on living off of Laila, while sitting on his ass, eating OP's food? Good riddance.

[@tallyp.7643]

Considering he still lives with his parents and doesn't have a job... yeah. OP would be paying for everything. I knew that was the case when Laila freaked out that she couldn't afford to pay all the rent. Guess the relationship's gonna go bust if Laila goes back to her dad's, boyfriend's at his parents' house, and they don't have the place with OP to have their schmexy-times in private anymore.

[@oakmaiden2133]

People with these kinds of allergies should eat at home and quit expecting the world to adjust to their needs.

[@janejones7638]

The fact the roommate thought that her boyfriend could move in for free gobsmacks me. I just can't understand that level of entitlement. Good she went home to her parents, as they'd be the only ones who'd put up with her behavior.

[@stirrednotshaken4823]

Wonder if her boyfriend goes to her parents house (if they are still together) and if he does, do they make the same demands to her parents? I can just picture her father getting irate over being told he has to get rid of his mixed nuts (that go so well with his beer) and chasing the boyfriend out the door yelling don’t come back! 😂

[@MaryTheresa1986]

I'm glad she moved back in with daddy because clearly she hasn't finished growing up.

[@kaitohkid7229]

This kind of entitlement is more immaturity combined with social nativity. Mostly fresh out of the home and no experience with reality...😂

[@AndyyWithAY]

She told him right. I would've told him the same. If I'm paying the bills here, someone who's not paying the bills isn't dictating what I'm doing. It doesn't sound like he's having any reaction to the closed jars. He's just being annoying. They need their own home where it can be nut free. But these 2 are nuttier than a jar of peanuts 🤪

[@ceeshnia]

Not hard when peanuts aren't actual nuts, but I'd like to say maybe raw bitter almonds; seems safe, but in reality can be deadly.

[@ReyK_47]

Right, OP was considerate to not have airborne allergens when he was going to be there. I'm allergic to peanuts, and my roommates just wouldn't open their peanut stuff in communal areas. The closed jars in the cupboards didn't kill me lol

[@jaymevosburgh3660]

It definitely sounded like Layla was trying to help her idiotic bf move in without Op's consent. They both sound like awful people. Glad Op was able to convince Layla to move out.

[@thomasjoseph5876]

@@jaymevosburgh3660 I am willing to bet that most if not all the suggestions, including moving in were the roommate's boyfriend making them. He was putting a bug in the ear of the roommate in an attempt to basically take control over both women and the apartment so he could move right in and not be required to pay for anything and probably have one or both of them cook for him. I think the roommate was just used as a useful idiot by the boyfriend.

[@jaymevosburgh3660]

@@thomasjoseph5876 Oh yeah, definitely this! This is what I assume the end game for them was. Not sure how they expected it to work 😆 Stupidity is always great for some laughs but I'm so glad I was raised to be confrontational in order to stand up for myself.

[@rinpaisys]

Story 2: “hangs out with junkies” oof op sounds in denial that their sister likely IS one of those junkies.

[@stirrednotshaken4823]

Definitely! You don’t hang around them without being coaxed at some point or “just try it once”, then you are hooked cause once turns into another and another. 🤷🏼‍♀️

[@guestact]

@@stirrednotshaken4823 this an old comment but i know a lot of people who are friends or acquaintances with people who would classified as "junkies" and have never done anything stronger than maybe mushrooms and even that's a one-off never to do again. it's completely understandable why people would jump to that, but to say that to hang out with a junkie you have to also because coaxed into drugs is such an unrealistic way of looking at humans. lol

[@ineedhoez]

Right?

[@LilFeralGangrel]

Story 1: Sounds to me like Layla's boyfriend is a controlling and manipulative person. Glad Layla moved out and now OP can have her bestie as a roommate instead.

[@ddavis8988]

So, Layla isn't just as manipulative?

[@GalliaUchiha]

​@D Davis not necessarily. When being abused alot of people adopt poorer life choices and can't see how bad those decisions are. Hopefully the former roommate can see whatever manipulation more clearly when her parents tell her she is being ridiculous trying to police their food eating.

[@LilFeralGangrel]

@@ddavis8988 y'all are annoying

[@ddavis8988]

@Varinis Everybody is not a victim. That woman lives alone and if she wanted to be away from him, she easily could. She not locked in a dungeon somewhere and he ain't even there most of the time. Adults have options.

[@ddavis8988]

@@LilFeralGangrel Some people see accountability as annoying.

[@paulagoeringer9466]

Anyone who truly loves their child would move heaven and earth to be with them. Jane has shown her true colors. Anyone who would allow meth and meth users around their child shouldn't have access to the child. She can come around when she gets her life together, but the child's safety and well-being come first.

[@notcompletelynormal]

Anyone who truly loves their child would move heaven and earth for the child to be safe and happy, even if it meant staying away from them.

[@quartzskull8772]

@@notcompletelynormal sure bud or you could get clean but nah just drop the kid

[@RandomTrinidadian]

So.... if the kitchen thas things that could "kill" him.... then why is the room mate brining him over so much???

[@immapotato1]

they wanna eat on OP's dime and the current food he can't eat

[@mbyerly9680]

He lives with his parents so I'm guessing no sexy times at his house.

[@samalvarez8776]

Last story, some people really don't understand how damaging it is to be ignoted since you were little. I was ignored by my parents. My parents didn't even know the date of my graduation, that's how little they payed attention to me. For them to go shower the youngest one when the middle one goes get the care they need finally, while completely ignoring the eldest. Its so so sad.

[@ToxicSunrise132]

Story 1: I knew that they were trying to wear OP down so she would let the boyfriend move in! Glad OP didn't fall for it and was able to force the entitled roommate to move out instead!

[@maurer3d]

Story 1 (before update): NTA, you were being far more accommodating than you needed to be by changing thing when he visits, but these request are beyond appropriate. If his allergies are bad enough to still be effected, then he needs to stop visiting your apartment, or you roommate and him have to pay to break the lease so other living arrangements can be made. Story 1 (update 1): And the reveal she had planned on moving he deadbeat, penniless BF into the apartment. Depending on your lease, this would not be allowed anyway, not without a change to the lease it's self, and all previous parties agreement.

[@darklightmagus1222]

Story 2: The sister probably consulted a lawyer and the lawyer recommended that she willingly sign the adoption papers. The sister was looking at getting charged with child abandonment if she lost her case. The scenarios are to win and she gets her daughter back but will probably be liable for a small payback of child support on top of the financial cost of having her child or lose and bear the cost of a fine and jail time for child abandonment plus legal fees. Either way was gonna be a financial loss. But if she willingly lets go of parental rights, she will lose nothing financially and won't face charges.

[@Russman67]

Story 2: Jane doesn't want to lose access to Sara. Mind you, Jane can't take care of Sara. Blaming OP for stealing her baby is a lot easier for her to face than her not being able to take care of her baby.

[@faeb.9618]

it's not even not being able, it's not wanting to. if she really wanted to take care of her baby she would make the effort to find a safer place to live, to stop being around drug addicts and getting her life together, she would try to see her as often as she could and bond with her even if she can't live in the same place at the moment. jane does not care about that baby and is just throwing accusations around to pretend she's doing anything

[@stevebanner5609]

Last story: I think OP should take her parents out to dinner and explain her miserable and non-loving life to them, detail each instance where they ignored, emotionally abused, financially abused and rejected her twice over her other sisters. She should humiliate them and tell them to NEVER treat any grandchildren that way. Lastly you go LC with your parents…

[@mandalorianhunter1]

I wouldn't do the dinner unless they are buying

[@757Bricksquad]

I think the OP of the last story is seriously embellishing this story and I’d love to get the version from the rest of her family. I think she’s blaming her family for her own shortcomings. My sister was diagnosed with stage 4 Hodgkin’s lymphoma when I was a freshman in high school living in the USA. We couldn’t afford ANYTHING extra. I struggled with school as well, but IT WAS MY FUCKING FAULT. I didn’t sit there and blame my parents because I chose to not do my fucking homework while they were at the hospital or oncologist office with my sister getting treatments. OP needs to stop blaming her parents and look in the mirror. It is NOT her parents fault that they had to commit all of their energy into their special needs child. It’s not their fault they couldn’t afford to send OP to college before her sister could go on state support. Life sucks, but OP has to hold the majority of the blame here. How many other kids out there can’t afford tutors but still manage to get into good universities? Also, OP’s sister didn’t get into an ivy leagie college because mom and dad sent them to private school. She’s going to an Ivy League because her sister put a ton of value and work in her education. OP could have easily received free tutoring from their school while growing up, but for some reason they didn’t try and claim the only reason she didn’t get a tutor is because mom and dad couldn’t afford it. This is just billshit.

[@mandalorianhunter1]

@@757Bricksquad what even is this? We have had many stories of favoritism from parents and you think this? WTF?

[@757Bricksquad]

@@mandalorianhunter1 FAVORITISM???? What are you talking about? HER SISTER WAS SEVERELY DISABLED! How can her parents not show favoritism in this situation??? I’m sorry, should OP’s parents have forgone medical treatments so OP could get a tutor or go to private school? Please explain to me the favoritism?!?! Op is looking for someone or any reason to excuse why her sister is achieving so much while OP simply has not. I don’t blame OP either. It probably sucks going to family events with her sister being a potential Ivy League student while she is working retail. Trust me, I know because I’ve been there. My sister who had cancer ended up going to law school and was working as a lawyer while I worked at a car wash. It’s an awful feeling and it just sounds like OP is looking for sympathy from strangers that only get to hear her side of the story.

[@SidereusOfTheFallen]

@@757Bricksquad And they refused her a tutor, never talked to the teachers to get her help and didn't even acknowledge her. Also, she is disabled too, just less severe. Ableist much? ETA: the school *won't assign you a tutor without your parents consent* , just so you know exactly how far up your ass your head is.

[@ChangedWinds]

Story 2: 100% NTA. My ex-wife abandoned our child and for over two years refused to engage or reconcile the domestic violence she has done to me directly, poisoning the well with most of her extended family (mine is too far away to help me) and has let her boyfriends verbally abuse and emotionally strain our child with no recognition of what that woman ever did. She is the bio mother, but my state's court recognized me as the complete and full stable and safe mother to be with. My ex has bounced between two states and two boyfriends since the day I was "allowed" to pick up my child to the day the judge told me his thoughts on parents of "adopted children" being more loving and protective than many biological parents. She never was in court. But she signed her rights as a parent. I didn't take our child from her. She pushed our baby away and tried to guilt trip me about how much she missed our beautiful teen, while ignoring the messages our child sent her. You're never going to be TA in my heart.

[@ReyK_47]

I lived with three roomates who all LOVED peanuts. I'm deathly allergic to peanuts. I didn't tell them not to have any in the apartment, we just made compromises like me having my own blender in my room instead of using the kitchen blender so they could make their protein shakes with peanut butter. They wouldn't leave peanut butter covered dishes in the sink and would tell me if they were going to be opening anything with peanut in it so i wouldn't go into their rooms for the time being. They were super considerate, like the OP seems to be. The couple in the story sound so self-centered tbh

[@philwill0123]

Tbf, Reddit audience don't believe in compromise. The general consensus is "anaphylaxis? Why should I have to deal with allergies that can kill you?"

[@tully6648]

Story 1: I knew it was going to lead to OP's roomie wanting her BF to move in. It always does. I'm glad OP didn't back down, though. I guarantee they would have made life absolutely miserable.

[@Tokyo_Rose.]

Yes I was going to comment this too. You could just see it coming couldn't you!

[@meiwa2020]

I love that OP #1 had a shiny spine. Good for her!

[@poesraven4540]

As sober person who is active in a 12 step program, I have watched parents work their butts off to be reunited with their children. I have also witnessed alcoholics and addicts who lost families because they just couldn't get out of their own way. I don't know if this young Mom is suffering with substance abuse, but she clearly cannot/will not make the hard choices. Blessings to the sister and brother-in-law for stepping in and up.

[@wmdkitty]

If you're in 12 Step, you're not truly sober.

[@poesraven4540]

@@wmdkittyThe program I chose may not work for everyone, but it worked for me because I worked it. More than 20 years now since my last drink. 🙏

[@samalvarez8776]

​@@wmdkittythe 12 step program works for some people, others not. Don't gakekeep sobriety just because you don't like the program.

[@poesraven4540]

@@samalvarez8776 Well said.

[@KE-hr4sb]

S1: “They’re saying I’m going to kill him.” How, pray tell? Are the nuts going to attack him from the cabinet and force themselves down his throat? You’ve been more than kind enough to change your recipes when he comes over. Layla and Kyle need to be responsible for his food, not you. If he’s so afraid of dying from being in the mere presence of shellfish, he can just not come over and Layla can visit him at his place. My guess? He wants to move in unofficially (and probably without paying rent) but doesn’t want temptations “in his house.”

[@devegas4910]

Story 1: Layla should’ve left it alone and not tried to move her boyfriend in. If she was living on her own, then that wouldn’t have been a problem, but she had a roommate already.

[@dixiecyrus8136]

I think that her having a roommate who paid half the upkeep was a plus she wanted to keep because the boyfriend didn't have a job or money. They wanted to move him in and not have to pay for him🤷‍♀️🤷‍♀️

[@BruinPhD2009]

Story 1: All that AND Kyle’s ass is broke? Get out of here with that nonsense! 😂

[@QueenOfTheZombieApocalypse]

It’s reasonable for them to ask OP not to cook those things while he is there (and quite kind of OP to accommodate as she doesn’t have to). It is very unreasonable for them to demand she not have those things in the home at all. I have a severe food allergy and would never dream of asking this, especially in a place I don’t live.

[@stirrednotshaken4823]

“It’s reasonable for them to ask OP not to cook those things while he is there…”, but it sounds like they were plotting to get him moved in as a free renter (🤦🏼‍♀️) and the OP would be demanded to get rid of her items. She is on the lease as a renter, so these 2 need to get a place of their own instead of trying to take advantage of OP to pay part of the rent while at the same time increasing her food budget by having to buy things she doesn’t want to eat just to get the nutrients she needs. I love how the roommate deflected and talked over OP when asked if they were going to shell out the money for that added expense. Yea, no! Good thing the roommate moved out.

[@bunnyslippers191]

@@stirrednotshaken4823 Yep, the plan was for Kyle to move in and live with them for free while not contributing a penny to the rent or food.

[@QueenOfTheZombieApocalypse]

@@stirrednotshaken4823 yeah I completely agree. I just meant that the very first part was a reasonable request…. and everything after was absolutely not.

[@stirrednotshaken4823]

@@QueenOfTheZombieApocalypse I agree that it was a simple request. She is paying half the rent and he is not, so for them to ask her to not have anything in the apartment at all is ludicrous. The roommate just needs to move out into another apartment with her deadbeat boyfriend and they can live any way they want. Roommate is crazy if she thinks anybody she lives with would be ok with her boyfriend moving in and not contributing towards the bills. Plus, a lot of women look for female roommates because they don't want to live with men they don't know.

[@joshguerrero8760]

Give it a few weeks with Kyle being mad about having to go to the dad's house before he dumps her.

[@DigitalCowboy000]

In the last story the OP is most assuredly *NOT* the arsehole. Parents don't get ignore one child in favor of another. Und then try to guilt trip the ignored child.

[@juliearmfield2634]

Story 2 nta one of the most important things in a child's life their health and safety is consistency and structure. Sarah's mother is in no way to give her that she can't even get it to herself It would be cruel to Sarah to deprive her of that when she has an aunt and uncle that are willing to give that to her and to love and protect her

[@ElleD308]

It blows my mind how stupid are mostly everyone on Reddit... Asking a man that's saving a baby to also sponsor the lifestyle of an adult that abandoned her child and has no responsibilities whatsoever, or else he's selfish since Jane can't fix her life 🤦🏻‍♀️

[@juliearmfield2634]

@@ElleD308 oh yes let's invite the rest of her friends that are all strung out as well. They have to put the safety of not only Sarah but their other child first.

[@ElleD308]

@@juliearmfield2634 absolutely, and while they're at it, they should stop being selfish and take care of every child, and jobless baby-daddy the sister and her strung-out friends might have. I mean, it would be horrible of OP to separate so many families. Honestly, I would take Sarah and move far far away from that family. That child needs love, consistency and security.

[@juliearmfield2634]

@@ElleD308 exactly it kills me how self-righteous some people get when they try to look their nose down and judge others.

[@ettinakitten5047]

BTW OP and her partner are both women, so Sara has two aunts, not an aunt and uncle.

[@AndyyWithAY]

The only thing reasonable to ask of OP is that the nuts not contaminate the space Layla pays for. Anything beyond that is too much to accomodate a mooch. People like Layla are so f**king entitled. You try to dictate the rules of the shared home. You try to unilaterally move in your BF who won't be paying? Just ridiculous. I'm so glad OP got out

[@troubleinthevalley5884]

As somebody who was not only the oldest child but very clearly not the favorite, I feel your pain. My mom had me when she was nineteen, my grandparents used it to push my parents into getting married when they weren't ready. 6 years later my little brother was planned, my parents were married, and he wasn't the reminder of my mother's transgressions and misery. Both of us struggled in school, I got ignored and ended up dropping out, he got the tutoring and got to go to military school where it set him up for life with a good career. My parents got divorced for the second time when I was 13 so my mother was a single mother working nights which meant I was basically mom to my brother and had to take care of everything at home while he got to be a kid his whole life. I wouldn't have minded this except I was expected to be the mother and the adult when she was at work but then still treated like a stupid child who couldn't make my own decisions when she was around. It was very inconsistent and very confusing. The older I got in the more I became like my mother the more she hated me. My brother has a wife and a child and a good career and I have spent my life being a single mother and struggling to make something of myself. I do have two jobs now and was finally able to buy my first home last year but it's been an extremely hard road to get to this point and while I don't resent my brother at all because it was not his fault, I do have a lot of resentment toward how differently we were raised and treated. Of course I guess being the one to not have a easy does build character too so I should be grateful for that.

[@stirrednotshaken4823]

Well, I will be someone who says I am proud of you and what you have accomplished in your life so far and to keep your head held high and don’t look back on the past! You can only go forward and the past is the past, so try to not dwell on the bad points. Only look to improve yours and your child/ren’s lives, make good memories and be happy! 🥰

[@troubleinthevalley5884]

@@stirrednotshaken4823 thank you, that's sweet. I needed that this morning 💕💕

[@kerribottriell-baxter7345]

I know you're all grown up now, but this Mum is sending a virtual Mumma hug - or virtual high five whichever is comfortable. You got you first home (woohoo!) - I always cheer when someone achieves whatever goal it is they're working on, (house, big vacation, etc).

[@GrumpyOldFart2]

Your last line has slightly perturbed me. CHALLENGE builds character, emotional and psychological abuse does not. It builds TRAUMA. You were parentified AND treated like an idiot kid at the same time. You say your brother got to be a little kid. Would you say he had a good character? Is he a decent person? If yes, it’s largely because of YOU. I’m not trying to take away anything you achieved. Nor am I saying you should go around every day thinking oh poor poor me. Just saying if there are days you are down because of what you went through, it’s normal. You achieved what you have IN SPITE of your upbringing, not BECAUSE of it. I hope you can mentally and emotionally heal from the circumstances of your upbringing. Peace be with you.

[@troubleinthevalley5884]

@@GrumpyOldFart2 awww thanks. Yeah he's a pretty good guy. Unfortunately we don't have much of a relationship anymore. He didn't grow up with the same mother I did so I can understand why he Blakely doesn't think I have a right to feel the way I do about her or maybe thinks I'm just being whiny or ungrateful. He was kind of The Golden Child and I'm six years older than him so he didn't go through a lot of what I had to go through early on. Plus my mother has always made much more of an effort to stay in his life than she has mine. She also grew up in a home where the man AKA my grandpa did everything and since he only had two daughters they really weren't taught anything as far as being very independent or taking care of themselves. Even as adults he sort of did everything for my mom and my aunt as well. Fortunately once we came along he had sort of let go of that notion and started teaching me little things about working on cars and letting me help like lay laminate flooring with him and different stuff like that but my mother never let go of that so I think I was just expected to get married and have kids and she made it pretty clear that she didn't think I would ever really accomplish anything in life so when my brother was struggling he's the one that got the tutoring and got to go to the special trade schools and the military schools and just really got the focus put on him to give him the best chance in life at a career and anything like that and for me there was never even any talk of college or anything like that. Further education just was never presented as an option for me even though I did try my hand at it once I became an adult but by then I had kids and had to work full time so I never really got to follow through with it. I would say I'm doing pretty good in my life today without that but I would have loved to have the college experience at least. By the time I was seventeen I had gotten a full-time job, but my own car, was still going to school but dropped out the next year and got my GED instead and was on my own ever since. Had my first kid at almost 21 and have had three more since then. I'm 39 now, work part-time as a caregiver for a 97 year old woman with dementia and also created my own house cleaning business which I do on my own. Bought my first home last year in my youngest daughter has Down Syndrome so that's been a journey getting her to her different therapies and special ed classes and stuff like that. She's pretty awesome though

[@paulastiles5507]

Story #3: So much NTA that I frankly do not understand why anyone is blaming OP. Look, folks, if the sibs are no longer close, the only reason the egg and sperm donors want OP there is to play Happy Families and deflect from any criticism of their astoundingly terrible parenting. They've clearly been playing the martyrs, while parentalizing one of their kids to do the actual job, and OP not showing up would raise questions about that pretty facade. As for the Golden Child, if she cares so much about OP being there, she can get off her spoiled princess duff and ask OP herself. OP, if you don't want to go and participate in this dog-and-pony show, then don't. Put your own mental health and welfare first because your family never will.

[@tonycrayford3893]

I used to live in a HMO and someone with a peanut allergy moved in, well I got home from work one day and anything in my food cupboard that had peanut in it was in the bin. I went nuts (hehe) and told her that if she touches my food again I'm going to grind peanuts into dust and put it on everything she owns. She moved out 2 days later.

[@Snowshowslow]

So you were stolen from and then threatened murder in retaliation?

[@tonycrayford3893]

@@Snowshowslow sorry but you don't just move into a place a toss out food of a person you've never met. I made her replace everything as well I didn't care that it left her with no money, fear is a wonderful motivator.

[@Snowshowslow]

@@tonycrayford3893 No I agree with that. It's disrespectful and it's theft. Good that you made her replace it. But threatening murder is also not high up on my list of attractive roommate traits 😆

[@gcarr1089]

Story 1 - would have loved to hear an update of if Layla and bf stayed together when she moved back home, as I'm guessing she got dumped the minute she couldn't support bf.

[@stirrednotshaken4823]

Nah, her dad chased him out of the house after they tried to take away the mixed nuts he eats while drinking his beer! 🤣

[@gcarr1089]

@@stirrednotshaken4823 🤣🤣🤣

[@feyfantome]

Story 1: it was obvious the roommate and bf had an endgame of cohabiting. I’m glad OP called their bluff early.

[@Swnsasy]

Story 2: NTA... Sara is the one that matters here.. Jane isn't doing what is needed to get her shit together.. She doesn't call, she doesn't come see her, she hasn't done anything to even prove or show that she even WANTS her baby... I wouldn't do adoption right now but keep ALL receipts for when the time comes.. I had a friend that I kept her baby for 7mths and guess what, SHE RODE A BIKE to come see her son every other day when she got off work!! That bike ride was 2hrs total but she did it!!

[@OmniscientlyMe]

1. And Layla's parents are going to be MORE accommodating than her roommate? Seems unlikely.

[@ToriBelle96]

on story 2- my cousin was taken away after being shaken hard enough to get brain damage, she was placed with an amish? (according to what we've been told) family who took amazing care of her. they were loving, had her gaining a healthy weight and she was doing great, but her dad, my uncle took her back as soon as possible and denied the other parents visits despite them bonding with her. I feel bad saying this, but she would have likely been better with them because my uncle failed her as a dad over the years. Sometimes bio parents aren't the best choice

[@garystewart2355]

I would say “I DO NOT ALLOW THE GENETICALLY WEAK IN THIS HOUSE”

[@huinismith]

Story 3: for some reason, glass children's stories always make me cry.

[@catsithx]

Well dont cook for them. Let them starve and cool for themselves.

[@PrimateProductions]

What are you talking about? Nobody was cooking for anyone but themselves?? Did you even listen to.the video at all?😏

[@PrimateProductions]

​@Timothy Robertson and look at how many morons "liked" that comment? Are there seriously that many clueless people here??

[@that.ll_do_pig]

You and everyone that liked this comment just read the title and didn't listen to the video. The only reasonable explanation I can come up with that you would make this comment. Lol

[@chinaking918]

@@that.ll_do_pig yup 😂😂😂

[@JennRighter]

I’ve been this way my whole life. Don’t get married, don’t have kids and don’t have roommates. I grew up in absolute poverty and I’ve really struggled but I’ve managed to bust my a$$ and make it for myself. I even lived in my car for months at a tim in my late teens and early twenties. And I’d rather live in my car than deal with this busted effing roommates and partners and children. For real. I’m 43 and I have had such a great life and continue to. Some people really need to consider their circumstances and what kind of life they want to live.

[@starbird3939]

Story 2 Jane abandoned her child, period. She has had ample time to see her child, and she has voluntarily refused every time. That and Jane lives in a dangerous environment

[@briansmaller7443]

Usually it is the flatmate's new BF or GF who is eating your food that causes flats to fall apart.

[@dawnstone4424]

Sisters baby story. OP is NTA imo. Jane isn’t even trying to see the child. She’s not buying anything for the child she’s not visiting she’s not even asking about her child. Hanging out with addicts doesn’t necessarily mean sister is using but it’s certainly a high probability. Yay on that update!!

[@PuppyKatt]

Story 2: I love happy endings. Thank you, Mark.

[@VeranaXS]

Can't wait for the update when she comes back demanding her room after she breaks up with her boyfriend

[@DrownedInExile]

S1: NTA. Layla has no right to police the contents of OP's kitchen. Her b/f's allergies are not OP's responsibility, and he doesn't even live there! UPDATE: Big surprise, Layla wanted b/f to move in rent-free. She would never have stopped making demands of OP. Glad she stood her ground, and the crappy roommate's gone.

[@jenniferfoote5442]

9 years ago i was an actively using opiate addict and had attempted suicide and been hospitalized twice and doing all the things that come with being an active addict..my son was 8 yrs old at the time..my mom and my adult son took him and said if i didnt get my shit together they would keep him..i did what i needed to do to get clean and not lose him..i know how incredibly difficult it is to do that and believe me it was but it can be done..no fucked up lifestyle whatever it may be is worth the price of losing your child(ren)

[@AndyyWithAY]

I hate the disability Olympics. Oh such and such's disability is so much worse than yours, so yours doesn't exist. Just because a disability isn't as severe doesn't make it less valid. OP is NTA if she doesn't go, but taking this stance doesn't do anything to hurt the parents If anything it will just hurt the sister. I hope when she's ready she'll try to have a heart to heart with the sister. She's older now and will hopefully understand things better than she would've as a younger child. I just hate these stories with parents that steal their children's childhood. Why is not having kids you can't/won't take care of so hard?

[@ivorynk752]

This is a different disability Olympics than I expected when I started reading this comment

[@tallyp.7643]

I think the commenter who said "they can only parent one kid at a time" had it right. I wonder at the mentality of these parents, like okay, one has some bad crap going on, but you have other kids who need your love and attention, too? How do you put two other beings on the back burner indefinitely, never even checking on them to make sure they're doing well (or haven't boiled over as OP was about to do) until you remove the main concern from the equation. A case of too little and too late, but little sis got all the benefits in the end and there's nothing left for OP. Yeah, I'd skip, too. She doesn't wanna bring negative vibes and knows she'll end up showing them.

[@SidereusOfTheFallen]

There is a user in another thread saying very vehemently it was OP's fault for struggling in school and calling OP a liar while completing ignoring her disability. If I facepalm harder I'm going to bleed.

[@AndyyWithAY]

@SidereusOfTheFallen in 2023 we're still invalidating learning disabilities 🙄 the embarrassment

[@AndyyWithAY]

@@ivorynk752 paralympics?

[@flamelily2086]

It sounds as though Jane is not making the slightest effort to get her life together. She has made effort to see her child, she is an unfit mother. I happy to hear the update

[@erichansen6474]

When I met my now wife, her daughter was 4 years old and allergic to nuts. Very early on after meeting her, they were at my apartment and my wife was in the shower and her daughter wanted candy cause my roommate had a dish of chocolates in the kitchen. Before I could get her one though, she verified it it had nuts. It did. She simply said okay thanks anyways. A Flipping 4 year old takes more responsibility than the guy in this story!

[@stephensantay578]

The kicker in that first story was her wanting to move him in to the apartment, and him not pay ANYTHING. lord.

[@targaryenxmandi]

Story 1: Seems this roommate was taking advantage of OP and how she should cook or have stuff in the apartment. Also if Layla's bf has allergies, she can go hang with him. Story 2: Jane hit a rough patch but it still doesn't excuse her for abandoning Sara. Glad to hear OP and her wife are taking in the baby girl. To me that warms my heart. Story 3: Is it bad I can sympathize for OP in this one? I have two adopted sisters and one biological brother. Me and the brother are related by blood. But I know there's times my dad gives my youngest sister(23f) more attention and even gets her expensive stuff. Not to mention she talks down to me whenever I bring up something good that happened. And when I ask my dad to pick my antidepressant medicine, the said youngest sister thinks I'm faking depression. I don't take anything. But she still gets more attention to this day since mom's passing in mid April. Overall, OP is NTA. Her parents screwed her over and gave her sisters younger than her more attention than her and even are overreacting because the OP doesn't want to go. It's not revenge plot for refusing to go. The parents should have acknowledged their eldest as well instead of playing favorites with her other siblings.

[@firecwby1999]

Story 1: as someone with extreme food allergies, it is not up to my friends to exclude all of foods I am allergic to at their houses/apartments. When I had a roommate we had things in the apartment I was allergic to. Your roommate's boyfriend doesn't need to spend time there. Why not have them spend their time at HIS place? Story 2: keep that baby away from bio-mom. giving her back to bio-mom would be an absolutely horrid idea and *you* would be responsible for whatever bad happened in the future.

[@Happydandy]

His allergies are his to manage. I'm sure he doesn't make such demands on restaurants and grocery stores. If he does, I'm sure he gets laughed at?

[@chamab.6800]

Story 1: Layla moved back in with her dad? Is she telling her dad what he can and can’t have in the house?

[@MizTameRumors]

So roommate wanted to move her BF in but needed OP to fund it. Transparent AF.

[@GLoLChibs]

Unless Kyle is being forced to lick jars of nuts and plates right after OP cooks her evil shrimp, her ingredients aren't a danger to him.

[@tnick123]

I'm allergic to shrimp, my room mates label anything with shrimp in it and that's all I ask. I even buy shrimp for the house of its on sale.

[@gobigamer5720]

Wow that first story is wild if you look further into it, when she slipped up and said their plan was to move the BF in, that made me think well in my days of house sharing/landlords experiences, depending on the type of rules they agreed upon, the bf and the gf could had been very close to breaking the contract as I remember in certain house share rules; there's a section talking about guests and if there is a extra Tennant that wasn't legally on the contract the landlord could potentially get into legal trouble and liable to any of the damages the unknown tenants makes and thus would make you sign a contract stating under no circumstances; to lodge unknown tenants. If there was a section in the rules the actual tenants agreed on, the landlord could then sue or terminate the person's tenancy thats responsible if there was damages made by the unknown party. Don't know if that was the case for this tenant but aye just some thought

[@JayeEllis]

Story 1: NTA - As Mark said, it is the onus of the allergy holder to adjust themselves, not for the world (i.e. YOUR personal space) to accommodate them. If his allergy is so severe his partner cannot share a kitchen with someone who uses allergens, then it's on them to make the adjustments, not you. Put your foot down, and tell her he's not allowed over anymore if it's such an issue. They can go to his; you live here.

[@teenalot1235]

From the moment the roommate asked that she stopped, I knew what was going on

[@paulqueripel3493]

I wonder if the dad agrees to stop eating everything Kye's allergic to.

[@Chantal_P-v4x]

Story 3 - NTA. And absoltuely do not go, if you are uncomfortable going. Family obligation is thrown around far too much, that it seems to leave so little room for much real discussion on mental health. And OP absolutely needs to protect here's. We all need that. What good would come of sitting at a graduation, with understandable resentment showing until you explode (Accidently of course) because frankly, those parents are failures, who utterly failed another human being... and one that they created no less. No one should be forced, or force themselves to choke on emotions in a room packed with people, because it;s 'what we do.' I'm with others here. ust take little sister out to dinner or something. let her pick the place, and maybe give her flowers there for grad.

[@leenleen1271]

story 2 : you loving your sister is the biggest joke i have ever heard, you just wanted hee child since you can't have your own

[@maurer3d]

Story 2 (before update): NTA, but you need to go to court and get legal custody of the child, or she can call the police and say you kidnapped her.

[@andysixxstalkerangeloftrag5833]

Story 2 is so heartbreaking... My baby has been abandoned with me by the boy who didn't want to become a daddy to them. My heart breaks all the time that that has happened to my child, he acts the same way this woman is acting towards her kid,- on absolutely no contact. I don't see how people can do that. I'd rather meet my demise than live my life without my own baby.

[@bricksloth6920]

I don't care if my roommate doesn't talk to me. I might even prefer it. Keep doing what you're doing

[@coreymartin6486]

Some people only want something of their own when other people have an interest in it.

[@Clyde-S-Wilcox]

Story 1: He doesn't live there, he can stay tf out if he doesn't feel safe.

[@Bev4Drawing]

I bet the first one was her boyfriend's idea because he wanted to get out of his parents house and live rent-free in theirs. He needs to get a job if he wants to move in with someone.

[@Tammohawk1]

1. It would be a cold day in hell before I would allow anyone who doesn't live with me dictate how I live. 2. Jane is using drugs also I would bet due to the people she chooses to hang out with. OP needs to contact the authorities over this. Jane needs to be held accountable in regard to her child. I've dealt with Jane's before and they are hopeless unless they really want it. 3. My father in law can only have a relationship with one of his kids at a time. He used to have 4. But after the death of first my brother in law, and then my husband, he only has 2 kids left. One would think he would change because of that, but nope.

[@madambutterfly1997]

If hes got that many allergies you might as well put him down. When you have an ensemble of dietary allergies like that the only thing you're not allergic to is water

[@QueenOfTheZombieApocalypse]

That’s a bit overly dramatic 😂

[@jmjedi923]

​@@QueenOfTheZombieApocalypse I believe...it's called a joke

[@lostshadows768]

The allergy one is a tough one. On the one hand, he doesn't live there. On the other hand, there's the risk of cross contamination, even if he's just hanging out at his girlfriend's place for a couple of hours. From the initial post, I'd have to say NAH. After the update, NTA, and I'm not surprised she was planning to move him in.

[@dimsufferer9951]

It wasn’t a NAH situation before the update, he and Layla were trying to police what OP was allowed to have in *her* house that he doesn’t pay for. If you have a shellfish allergy, you cannot tell someone they can’t own shellfish because you’re going to their house. If you have a soy allergy, you cannot tell someone else that they’re not allowed to eat soy

[@ScottyFang]

ALL she had to do was realize “oh yeah if my boyfriend doesn’t get INTO the nut containers he won’t die” now she has to move back in with dad bc THAT SAME BOYFRIEND won’t pay rent 😂

[@peachesrambo4037]

I've noticed that when one person have a allergy, they expect everyone to accommodate them.

[@kaitohkid7229]

Depends on the personality of the person. I am lactose intolerant (no allergies with death as a possibility thank god) but I make sure to avoid any milk heavy products when I am with people because the results smell like hell believe me. My friends accomodate me on their free will.

[@milescoburn1845]

Story # 2 - Call Jane's bluff. Set a date and time for Jane to pick up Sara permanently. When she doesn't show up, even more evidence of abandonment.

[@philwill0123]

Never set. Arrange. If court heard you arrange contact that Sara cannot attend it makes it look like you are sabotaging contact

[@unicornjennie]

S1 NTA Kyle doesn't live in the apartment. He doesn't pay rent. Tell Layla she's free to leave anytime and start looking for another roommate. She has no say in how you eat. Do not remove your food. Tell Layla to go to Kyle's apartment. Have your landlord evict her. Good update

[@ezra2701]

Today's been a rough day especially because it's my birthday but a mark narrations video is the best way to end my day❤❤❤

[@broken_queer_but_fighting8589]

Happy birthday m8 I send all the hugs 💜💜🤗🤗

[@ezra2701]

@@broken_queer_but_fighting8589 Ty dude!!! It means a lot 🫶🏻🫶🏻🫶🏻

[@broken_queer_but_fighting8589]

@@ezra2701 no problem 💜💜🤗🤗

[@stirrednotshaken4823]

Happy birthday Ezra! 🎂🥳

[@ezra2701]

@@stirrednotshaken4823 Thank you so much ❤️❤️

[@fleacythesheepgirl]

Story 1 - 😂The roommate is pretty damn transparent about trying to move her bf in for free. Called it from the start.

[@thehaveninthehand]

I had a nightmare roomie who decided that she would keep her shoes in our shared entryway/kitchenette. This wouldn't have been a problem if said shoes weren't super smelly, mostly pleather or plastic, and if there were less than around 80 pairs of them. She was using two shoe-storage units stowed partly under the table (one is usually enough for a family of 6), and they were piled so high that the shoes would sometimes spill down on there. It was disgusting, and nothing I did or said would make her want to fix the situation by storing the shoes in her room.

[@beatrixthegreat1138]

Normally I will yell “don’t fuck with food allergies” from the highest mountain but roommate is over stepping.

[@justinebidulopoutchini9774]

Im deadly allergic to nuts, and op in the first story is not the ahole. If she wanted to Accommodate the bf, that’s fine, but she does not have to.

[@MorganVsTheInternet]

1- NTA, he’s a grown butt man! The ingredients aren’t going to jump out the cabinets and go down his throat!

[@adrianunderwood961]

Yes you are right! Tell them to f…. off and go to his place!

[@KarmikCykle]

Just going by the video description: He can bring or make his own food, nobody's making him eat the stuff he's allergic to. As long as he knows food prep surfaces may have come into contact with his allergens, of course.

[@helstok178]

It's one thing to ask that if he is coming over to not use those ingredients when cooking (or if you have to, make it well-known what dishes have them) just to be safe. But, telling someone to never use them and keep them out of the house is ridiculous

[@invertedghostgames9899]

Story 2: I feel like the sister that abandoned her child was all bark and no bite. She threatened so much legal shit when OP made it clear they wanted to adopt Sara and fully give her a loving family, but when OP actually showed up with a lawyer she just rolled over and signed the papers. My guess is she knew she was never going to win in the first place and just wanted to keep her option of taking Sara back any time by any way she could, and when OP came in with the lawyer she finally had to face the truth that that's not how it works and gave up.

[@rylashadow18]

S1) So OP's roommate plan was to move Kyle in and have OP pay for it? Lmao OP stick to going to the landlord and getting yourself out. She choose him let her keep her poor decisions around while you go on to living your best life. So now she has to move back home to her parents house where she knows that stuff isn't going to fly let me laugh harder here. Lmafo. S2) This little one already has a family. The sorry excuse of those donor's don't get to treat her like an item they disgard only to come back to try and take after not caring. The baby already has a family that loves her, cares for her and has sacrificed for her. Tell anyone siding with the donors that they can either respect your boundaries or join the donors in being cut out party. Keep everything documented and best of luck. S3) OP if you want to do something nice for your sister while you two have a heart to heart that sounds fair. Having anything to do with your toxic self centered donors though is a hard no everyone needs to accept. You do what's best for you first and foremost because that's who was hurt the most by these sorry excuse of parents.

[@ceeshnia]

I am deathly allergic to bananas; I cannot eat food that has touched the same surface (which means any fruit outside of my own house is a no-go, especially at restaurants), or has been sitting within 3 feet of them for extended periods of time. But, they greatly benefit my mom's health. My sister picks them up from the store (I usually do the shopping with or for my mom, sans bananas), my mom keeps them in a bag, in a drawer away from all the other food in her room, she washes everything she used to eat it afterwards (she usually has banana sandwiches), and she doesn't eat it when I'm downstairs. Cooking with them may be an issue, but we haven't tried it. The difference is that I do live here, and I take care of her, but even I'm not going to say "you cannot eat that". It would be reasonable if you went into a lease with these already upfront; ie, "you cannot keep this in the apartment because I will die" if it is something that you cannot risk being around (and yes, bananas cause anaphylaxis for me, but it is easier to manage than perhaps nuts), not a "you can't do this anymore, because of someone who doesn't live here"; also, trying to move in the boyfriend who wouldn't even contribute despite the increase it would cause in bills is entitled and ridiculous.

[@lacewinglml]

my sister has serious allergies to certain foods and items where even if someone had it recently and touch her she'll react, but she'd never dream of policing other people's diets if she doesn't even live there!

[@tashahantz4643]

I have a severe peanut allergies. When my husband and I got married and moved in together it was a huge adjustment with both of us, yes we did have some accidents. We agreed that he'd keep his nuts up high where I can't reach and none of other foods can touched it. And he'd eat it when I'm at work or walking the dog. And even during a storm, we'd have all the windows open. My own parents were never that kind to me!

[@valeriegiunca6018]

I was raised in a narcissistic family; father, mother, sister. In a family of four. This girl’s story hit home. Just saying…I put MYSELF through college. I started at 30 and had two boys to raise at the same time. No SO. Period. It can be done! Recovery from toxic people IS possible! Not easy; just possible. I was more than halfway into a doctorate, before I ran out of funds. I carried a 4.0. To this day, No one has ever acknowledged my accomplishments or efforts(other than my therapist).

[@monferno1]

Story 1: As someone who has shellfish allergies, anything that is remotely near the shellfish is going to be contaminated until it’s cleaned, it gets on everything like chicken does, but that’s not your problem, she should let you know and deep clean everything before he comes

[@295Phoenix]

Why are so many people cooking for people they're not even married or related to? Cook for yourselves only, goddamnit! If I was OP, I'd be cooking for myself and tell them, "BF isn't even paying for anything here! If he's afraid of dying then I guess he shouldn't come over." And hell no, he ain't moving in unless I move out!

[@AngelDeed]

You don't have to cook for your spouse or family member either, especially if you are a woman and he is a man...

[@sandracox4341]

They didn't even want her to have the ingredients in the house at all. The boyfriend doesn't live there or pay rent. He can't dictate what foods OP is allowed to buy for herself. 🤦‍♀️

[@Nathan_Bookwurm]

I don't think OP was cooking for them. They didn't want any allergy items in the house, despite eating seperately.

[@damien678]

I mean...who wants to fight over the kitchen when it's time to cook?

[@that.ll_do_pig]

OP _wasn't_ cooking for anyone but herself.

[@jennywhite2462]

Story 1 No. He is not on the lease. He has no business telling people what they can keep in their home. I would be telling them if they want things that way they can pay OPs share of the rent.

[@darkhuntresssyn4592]

Gosh story 2 hit a HUGE nerve with me. My sister essentially did the same thing as Jane but to my mom.

[@DisneyChar]

S1 nta, that was the exact result her actions were demanding.

[@Hoosierdilf]

Op taking advantage of his sister like that is absolutely disgusting. U don’t steal someone’s kid when they’re in a dark place. Hope baby girls gets to know what a piece of crap her uncle and aunt are when she’s older.

[@HodajuciParadoks]

Easy solution - they do not eat her food, and OP cleans after cooking keep everything closed. That is it. I would refuse too. And you do not live with him, roommate can go to his house, and after lease is out, you go separate ways.

[@mbyerly9680]

A parent who is only thinking of herself and not the baby isn't a parent. OP is all about what's best for the baby. That's what a true parent does.