I THOUGHT I WAS READY! Ren - Suicide REACTION

[@MtHermit]

This is the best reaction to this song. I respect fact that you broke down, gathered yourself, then continued to break the lyrics down. All while continuing to try to lift everyone up and helps them understand how important their life is on this earth. I was once on the precipice of ending it all. I had the note, the plan, and the motivation. I was ready. Then one intrusive thought worked its way through all of the darkness. The idea of saying goodbye to my brother was something that i couldnt handle. So i called him and told him exactly what was happening. We cried together. That next morning the sky was bluer. The trees were greener and the world smelled fresh. I had a different outlook on how the day might play out. I still struggle. But I know I'll make it. You will too

[@sandrag8656]

💝

[@LiannaBabeli]

Thank you for sharing with us, my brother. I am also a survivor of suicide, both as a victim and as a participant. I have survived 30 years after and while I may not have those dark thoughts anymore, that confusion and hurt, I never forget the pain, the pain and darkness that led me to that choice, that seemingly impossible choice. It was compassion that saved my life and so I pay it forward by being compassionate with everyone. Much love and peace to you, brother.

[@MtHermit]

@@LiannaBabeli And that compassion you show to others, has been shown to many more because of you. Compassion and kindness are the greatest tools against the darkness.

[@rosalieelliottofficial]

What a powerful and beautiful comment!!! Thank you for sharing this!!! Several things here that I cherished. One being your courage to speak up. The power in relationship and a caring hand. The way you described the colors being brighter. Beautifully described and so very true. And ending with an honest, realistic yet hopeful conclusion. Thank you for sharing this. I hope many read it

[@MtHermit]

@@rosalieelliottofficial Thank you! This song has made me contemplate that period in my life. And I appreciate Ren and yourself for making me revisit it. I talked to my brother this morning and explained the video, Ren, and the thoughts and feelings it brought up. I apologized for the pain he had to go through watching me in that moment and I thanked him for sticking with me. It's beautiful what 1 song or moment can do for someone.

[@Peacetrain66]

Ren did a 2.5 hour Twitch today because he was worried about the effect this video was having on everyone and because he heard we were all worried about him. He seems very happy and doing well. What an extraordinary human being❤

[@sharronferreira6420]

I’ve tried looking up Ren’s Twitch account but can’t find it - do you have the name of it for me please?

[@Peacetrain66]

@@sharronferreira6420 renmakestwitch

[@hansmolders1066]

Thanks for the update he's to prescious to lose!

[@Silkytoaster]

I managed to log on to twitch - OMG - it was 2 hours but went so quickly . His two freinds who were visiting from the UK Sam and Josh who make his vids were on the stream . It started out discussing the video but eventually they had us in stitches - joking and answering the streaming questions. My stomach hurt from laughing and we really get a Sense of who Ren is especially as a friend.

[@Beckaj5446]

It really was a nice mood shift compared to the new song. The fact that he was thoughtful enough to be concerned about how it might effect any of his fans was very uplifting. Their sense of humor was great, I always love that sarcastic smart-ass type of personality.

[@im2yz4u17]

Rosalie, my partner of 15 years died a year ago of lung cancer. In the hospice I took a picture of him for his family; his last moments in this world. His picture is earily like the one of Ren at the start of the video. Emaciated and frail, each breath rattling slightly. I freaked out over his breathing and the 'death rattle' effect and called out to a nurse in tears. She had to calm me down and explain that it was a sign he was near death and a natural phenomena--a part of the process. I never want to hear that again in my life. I had forgotten about it till I saw the cover pic for the video. Like Ren misses his best friend Joe, I miss my best friend Damen.

[@darkmoondrops]

Sorry for your loss.

[@mysteriousfigure3808]

I've lost the love of my life to cancer in August, 2018. We've met in 2003. and along with falling in love realized we've also became best friends. Being only 18/19 years old, we've had some learning to do about relationships, hardships and life. We've managed to come together through it all. It wasn't easy, but it made us grow and learn about ourselves, about life. After some time we've started to feel like a family. This is the hardest part for me. We couldn't have kids so we were that much more important to each other. He died of colon cancer, but for some reason despite that I still feel guilty for being alive, I also feel like I miss myself, as Ren put it, because for those 15 years of our lives we grew together into people that now don't exist anymore. I feel like I don't even know who me is now. I'm still here because I love my parents and sisters, and making myself NOT be alive anymore would show them that my pain was bigger than my love for them, which it can never be. Through the battle with my husband's cancer I've learned that loving someone makes you the strongest person in the world, and you can do anything to help them and protect them. Now that he is gone, I feelt all my strength has gone. But then one day I heard Ren's song "Fire", and some glimmer of hope that I could be happy again in life emerged. I still feel it. It is faint, but it's there. And I'm working on it bit by bit every day. I hope you can also find love in your life from friends and family and let it help you stay here and put one foot in front of the other, one day at a time.

[@rosalieelliottofficial]

I am very sorry for your loss :( thank you for being vulnerable and sharing this. I am glad you're here and hope you can heal and find peace.

[@one_bored_dude1798]

I am sorry for your loss, no one should have to experience this... Fucking lung cancer. I lost my dad to it in november last year. He never was a smoker or worked with chemicals or stuff one would usually expect when hearing about lung cancer, just bad luck. Far too young for this illness, only 53. Just paid off our home. What you say about that breathing, it hurt so much to hear that frail, exhausted breathing of the best person I have ever known in his last days. Always thinking about if there were any signs that we had missed, any clue that would have helped identifying it earlier. When we learned about the illness in 2020 it was already stage four. Despite some back pain he never had any issues and doctors always said it should be because of his office job. No one ever tested for lung cancer because he was not in the target age or demographic for this desease. He even went to all of the regular cancer screenings one can take for free with the insurance. It just sucks so much.

[@yorumustasi]

@@rosalieelliottofficial Hallo bezaubernder Mensch :) Wir hatten Mal einen kleinen schriftlichen Austausch, du erinnerst dich bestimmt nicht mehr^^ Wollte dir was unglaubliches empfehlen, eine Audition bei America‘s Got Talent, Ihr Name ist Putri Ariani, du wirst sehr positiv überrascht sein, es ist einfach der Wahnsinn. Verfolge die Show seit Ewigkeiten, wollte mit dir diese wundervolle Performance teilen. Bitte schau dir das ganze Video an, nicht nur des Gesangsparts. Ich danke dir herzlich :) vertrau mir, du wirst sehr glücklich auf die Empfehlung sein. Freue mich so auf deine Reaction.

[@SR-71BlackbirdA2]

Fun fact: Ren wrote the last part of the song after the interview with Knox Hill. Knox definitely made an impact on him.

[@Spot-t]

Oh really? thats a very interesting bit of information, did he mention that in a stream or something?

[@SR-71BlackbirdA2]

@@Spot-t yeah, I can't remember in what other interview he said that, but he did.

[@Spot-t]

@@SR-71BlackbirdA2 Really cool- That verse definitely hit different. Was totally floored by it tbh

[@LeeannG]

I think it’s because the subject of Joe came up, and this was supposed to be the next release. If you read rens comments under the video he said he was dreading the release because he felt the song was unfinished. After the interview he was thinking about joe a lot and decided to add a verse at the end (I can’t say this exactly because I forget where I saw it heard him say that part. It was either IG, twitch or discord haha) he outlines the process pretty specifically. I love how he always puts the context in comments under the video. He always takes the time for that and to put lyrics.

[@BrandonWestfall]

What's so fun about that?

[@jamesweeg6545]

I heard suicide described once as taking your pain away, but giving it to someone who loves you. This hurt.

[@epicchannel4724]

That's exactly what it does. And you deal with your loss like any kind of loss but you feel anger because you can't grasp how the person didn't understand the pain they would leave behind.

[@LeeannG]

That’s profound and heartbreaking.

[@MrLiesegang]

This right, without a doubt, but this is something you can’t tell someone with depression, this sentence is such a burden and adds pressure on a person, who is already sick.

[@sydneexxceasy9063]

​​@@epicchannel4724 Joyner Lucas has an amazing song from the person who deletes themselves and the close brother who finds them and struggles to deal with it. Its called im sorry

[@Thystonius]

Wow, that hits home, aaaahhhh

[@UmaJaba1]

I feel so sorry for Rosa, I know what’s coming both musically and her reaction, I could be wrong but I’ve watched enough of her content to know how much she empathises. I’ve been waiting for your reaction since the release, sending love to everyone and remember struggling is not a weakness, it’s an accumulation of being strong (most of the time)

[@jeffstumpf9129]

Why feel sorry for an empath? No matter what, they are going to feel deeply. I know I am one. It's a gift from God that often seems like a curse. It's the very bad people that are the worse to be around. Others you may be able to help.

[@rexrogers1859]

​@@jeffstumpf9129Feeling empathy for another human's feelings is connection. Peace, and I wish you a good day.

[@joshsmith3066]

@Jeff Stumpf clearly because she's had suicidal feelings in that past, and this song will bring that bubbling to the surface no matter how much you've dealt with it.

[@AlexaBluRae]

They have a right to feel however they feel. Let them.

[@krisprepolec5616]

I love the post that Ren put up when he released the video. When he was at his sickest, lowest point he was thinking about ending things. Someone told him something that really resonated: suicide does eliminate the possibility that things will get worse, but it also eliminates all possibility that things could ever get better. Please be open to that possibility ❤️

[@thehangingparsiple5692]

I watched this premiere last night. About 3am I woke up because I'd been dreaming about it. And I realised that FIVE people in my life have taken this step. I want to say their names now. JANE, SEAN, PETRA, JAMIE, LEE. I posted this exact same message on the comments for the song. Let's hold hands and turn now to the light. Time to dance ❤

[@Skittenmeow]

Mike, Jay, Finbarr, Michelle, Travis, Matty... i miss you all, we miss you all

[@LiannaBabeli]

Tatiana, Chris, Emily, Jacob, Pierce.... I love you and miss you my sisters and brothers.

[@suevick637]

Tears can be good for the soul. I had a friend that took her own life at age 16. Now I am a 65 yr old widow. My daughter passed away suddenly 8 yrs ago. My husband lost to cancer during Covid. I trick myself each morning by saying "not today"....I will revisit that thought tomorrow. Sometimes I feel like I have outlived my usefulness. I have cronic pain from 5 spine surgeries that I had back in the 1990's that were all supposed to fix the pain, but only made things worse. Sometimes just knowing that suic*de IS an option, can get me through the long days...longer nights. God bless Ren for hanging in there. Thank you for sharing this and all of Ren's music. He is a wordsmith like none other. ❤

[@juliestaunton3080]

This song hits home. My partner took his own life last july.This song helps me so much.Great reaction Rosa

[@epicchannel4724]

It's so difficult. If the person you loved got hit by a car them you can rationalise but this is different. I know what you're dealing with and pray you get strength.

[@Kipperbob]

I think Keanu Reeves said it best when asked what happens when we die, he replied something like "I know that those who love us will miss us". I think that's the message of this song, that those who love us will miss us and hurt from the loss.

[@MiladySK]

...and some don't while you're alive, then have the audacity to be upset with the one who passed from feeling isolated or not seen.

[@Tcrunk365]

I have been dealing with depression since I was a child. I’m 49 now married 5 kids. They are only thing that keeps me going some days. I don’t feel worthy of them . The world says I’m a weak man if I cry or hurt. But my God it hurts sometimes. I’m proud to be here but it’s hard. I needed to hear your words Rosa. Ty God bless.

[@rosalieelliottofficial]

you're not weak for crying. you're very strong for how you keep going! don't give up. they need you and you have a purpose. keep choosing life.

[@deanBORO]

Keep strong for you’re kids they’d be lost without you!! You’re worthy…. We are all so lucky to be alive at this time, take it and embrace you’re life. Peace x

[@robquince3076]

Crying is far from weak its strength take it from me living with depression for 50 years you are strong they are weak👍always talk then talk some more it saved me and my grandchildren would never have met me and they are everything 👍

[@stormingjales]

I've been dealing with depression too, and borderline, and I know the feeling. I'm 30 yo now, and I have no kids, so I can't feel exactly how you feel but I'd like to say something: For you to hold on, to have strength to live one day at a time, to wake up and just keep fighting, YOU ARE WORTHY! Not only for your kids, but for yourself and for everything the world presents to you. Your life is so difficult I'm sure, I feel an excruciating pain, but I'M PROUD OF YOU for hanging in there everyday, for every breath, and I'm sure you're kids are gonna grow up and see how fucking strong and brave you are. Keep living, for all the love you have in your heart.

[@Tcrunk365]

@@stormingjales ty very much. They are my life. I hope things get better for you. We gotta keep our heads up. Bless you

[@stuartverus980]

I was 17 and I had a work colleague, a pretty 18 year old girl, that I had developed a friendship with. One Friday she asked me if I’d would go out for a drink. I have always, even then, had a thing about dating people I worked with - I won’t do it. So I said no. Turns out she’d caught her boyfriend in bed with her mother and she wanted someone to talk to. That night she took an overdose of paracetamol. She survived the initial overdose but had destroyed her liver etc and died after two weeks having regretted doing it. It’s 40 years later and I still tormented by how easy it would have been to have just gone for a drink and maybe made a difference.

[@wearenotamused6455]

I lost my best friend 20 years ago this month and this song dropping yesterday brought back all the emotions I felt. I felt guilty for not being there when he decided to get drunk 3 days before his probation ended...guilty that I wasn't there when he stole the car while drunk and picked up two idiots... guilty that I wasn't there when he told my other friend that he was scared to be outside of jail because he knew he would end up killing himself by stupidity... guilty that I took our time together for granted and didn't tell him how much I needed him... guilty that I wasn't there to drive instead, and knowing he most likely wanted to crash and die at 120 mph because he was suicidal. I miss you Frank...

[@LiannaBabeli]

Thank you for sharing with us, my brother. I understand that guilt and shame and heartache and terror. I am a survivor of suicide, both as a victim and as a participant. I have lost 7 friends, family, to this choice. I have survived 30 years after and while I may not have those dark thoughts anymore, that confusion and hurt, I never forget the pain, the pain and darkness that led me to that choice, that seemingly impossible choice. It was compassion that saved my life and so I pay it forward by being compassionate with everyone. Much love and peace to you, brother.

[@darkmoondrops]

Finally, I get to see your live reaction. Ren got an interview with Rolling Stone, and they posted his entire Hi Ren video. Effing brilliant! Love you Rosalie. ❤

[@verified.my2cents]

Thanks Rosalie, I couldn't wait to see your reaction. I shared the following with Ren and thought I would post it here in the hope that it may help others "Dance in the Light"... When I was 18 I lost my girlfriend to suicide shortly after we broke up. In her case it was a building not a bridge. At her funeral I hugged and cried with dozens of her high school friends and family, everyone saying how shocked they were. I wasn't. I carry that pain with me every step I take in this world. At first I barely could exist. I learned when the pain would hit the truth of taking things day by day, hour by hour, minute by minute and even moment by moment. Over the years I have learned how to channel the pain for good, to try and be a better friend, a better husband, a better father and a better person. Every single being on this planet has value. Everyone. You may not know it in the moment. You may doubt your value. You may hurt in unimaginable ways. But you do have value. Every life touches others in ways we each may never know. If you are hurting, please be empathetic with yourself. It is only in finding the empathy towards ones own self that one can truly find empathy in others. And the world needs you. The world needs every bit of empathy you can give. Thanks Ren. I have no doubt your journey is helping countless lives. Salute and Peace.

[@rosalieelliottofficial]

thank you for sharing your story and encouraging us to choose life.

[@LiannaBabeli]

Thank you for sharing with us, my brother. I am so glad you have found a way to take that pain and make it work for you positively. I agree with everything you have said. I am a survivor of suicide, both as a victim and as a participant. I have survived 30 years after and while I may not have those dark thoughts anymore, that confusion and hurt, I never forget the pain, the pain and darkness that led me to that choice, that seemingly impossible choice. It was compassion that saved my life and so I pay it forward by being compassionate with everyone. Much love and peace to you, brother.

[@ricci8497]

For those not aware of the events behind this song @RenMakesMusic And here's (part of) the writeup that Ren shared before the premiere and sent to his email list: I first met Joe when I was 8 years old, my friend Josh said I had to meet this guy, so we both walked over to his, it took about 10 minutes from my house. I was greeted by this kid covered head to toe in freckles, he grinned at us, climbed onto the back of his sofa and screamed “Swanton Bomb!” then front flipped off the top and landed right onto his back on a stone floor. He lay still for a moment, twitched a few times, then got up, grinned at us, brushed himself off, and did it again. This was Joe. He’d do anything to make people laugh. He ended up becoming one of my best friends. He was there when we stole our first cigarettes out of his mums pack, way too young. He was there when I had my first kiss, with a girl twice my size on the back of the 42 bus. He was there when I first got so drunk I threw up in the woods after drinking as much white lightning Cider as we could. I was there when he did his first backflip on skates, and saw him do a 720 off of the pier cave, that moment became legendary. Joe was the funny one in our friend group, he’d make us laugh till it hurt. No one had a bad word to say about him. It was impossible not to like him. Usually we put celebrities, athletes and actors on pedestals, turn them into role models and admire them from a far. The person I admired was Joe. Him and Sagar knew every word to the songs id write, we’d get drunk at parties and they’d be singing along as loud as they could. It gave me a lot of confidence back then. On Christmas Eve 2010 I was sitting in a pub with Joe, he’d been feeling low after a couple of consecutive break ups. He tried to check himself into a mental health outpatient facility a few weeks earlier but they turned him away because he didn’t have an appointment. He turned to me and said that sometimes he wished he could just walk into the sea and keep walking. He said it in a kind of half joking throw away comment type of way, then took a sip of his drink, walked over to the juke box and put Dig by Incubus on. If I knew that was the last time I’d see Joe id have hugged him, told him how much I loved him, how much I looked up to him, how much we all loved him, and I wouldn’t have left that pub. I didn’t know that, so I finished my drink, said happy Christmas and left. Two nights after Christmas I got woken up by a phone call at 3am, it was my friend Ella. She told me Joe was on the Menai Bridge, a large suspension bridge connecting the main land to the isle of Anglesey where we lived. He’d been on the phone to her in tears saying goodbye. He told her to tell everyone he loved them. I pulled on my clothes as fast as I could and started running toward the bridge. It was up a hill. I lived about a ten minute walk away, I could run it in five. As I ran I started dialling then redialing his number. The line was busy, which was a good sign, it meant he was still on the phone to someone. As I got about halfway, the busy tone changed. It told me the line was out of service. I got a sinking feeling and picked up my speed. I arrived to the bridge minutes after I left my house. It was deafeningly quiet. I was the first person to arrive. I got there probably about 2 minutes too late. Joe’s body was never found. Initially we refused to believe he was gone. The coastguard came out that night, with boats, and helicopters. Me and my friends spent the next 10 days putting up missing posters everywhere we could, walking up and down beaches with flashlights, getting about 3 hours sleep a night. When you’re walking up and down a beach with a torch when its dark everything looks like a body. We still haven’t found Joe. As his birthday came around, I wrote a song, freckled angels, a song I dedicated to Joe which I sang in front of his friends and family. A charity football match was put on for him, raising money for the RNLI where I won two bottles of wine in a raffle, I drank them both as quickly as I could, naturally, turned to my friend and probably slurred something along the lines of “This is the last time I ever drink” That was 12 years ago, I haven’t touched a drop of alcohol since.

[@redzwestisbest]

thanks - he mentioned these events in a couple interviews i think. some more detail for sure here.

[@hourglass4208]

Thank you for sharing this. I have been trying to find it.

[@kiwigirljacks]

I can’t imagine running to try and save a friend and not being able to get there in time 😢 that’s so bloody heartbreaking.

[@jamessceeles4397]

No one is perfect; hence even the perfect commit suicide.🙏🏻🇺🇸🇬🇧✝️ Survivor's Guilt is perhaps the heaviest.

[@peterveste6976]

thank you for reacting to this you are strong and have a beautiful soul sending big love from the UK, Ren is starting a movement of love ❤❤❤❤❤

[@Jillightful1]

I feel like if someone is suicidal the very first thing we should do is start looking for physical causes. Maybe we treat it like stage 4 and bring in an endocrinologist and a neurologist. My father took his own life and I sill think it was parathyroid related. Mostly because his cousin had the same issue and was cured by an endocrinologist (which we found out about later). My father told us for months that ending his life was all he could think about. He was in and out of psych wards trying to find an answer. Desperately searching for help. His medical doctor told him he was lacking in gratitude for the wonderful life he had. His psych docs had him attending group therapy and they put him on one pill after another. The whole experience was so frustrating. I don't blame him for leaving. I don't like to think of it as suicide. But rather a failure in the design of our system that is over specialized with all these different cars and no one in charge of driving the train. Something has got to change. When they give you psych meds for Lyme disease something has got to change. We told my father to focus on the light, his family, the things he loved. He said when he was there in the darkness there was no light. "The light goes out on the other side."

[@DerLandschaftsbauer]

This is art in it’s purest form - I want to thank artists like Ren and NF, from the bottom of my heart, for being so brave and vulnerable, shining a light on the spot of pain, that we just can‘t seem to see, when we‘re deeply in it and overwhelmed by it - it connects ❤️ it leaps over every difference that exists in this world. Culture, religion, gender, age, colour. It let‘s us feel understood and not alone, even though it made us isolate ourselves at the same time. And after all, this is the deepest and purest way to connect with people, I have ever known, beside love. Love you guys ❤️ stay safe 🙏🏽 #ren #renmakesmusic #suicideprevention #suicideawarness #depressionhelp #pain #mentalhealthawareness #mentalhealthmatters #love #nf

[@austinenwistle7945]

I love Ren such a great soul so truthful his art comes from a dark place but brings light to the people who need it

[@Pidge143]

Rosalie you are a light too. I hope you know that. Your empathy is beautiful. What a soul!! Honestly so happy I found your channel. I hear you, thank you for the rest of my fight, I thank you.

[@Tiger5672]

I remember i was taking an abnormal psychology class in college back in 2009 and the the subject of suicide came up. My professor openly talked about his wife committing suicide. It was so sad and chilling hearing him talk about it so openly.

[@Shinny.darkness]

Many friends I have lost throughout the years of my life, Drugs, accidents, suicide also yes.... took 4 minutes to remember each and everyone and just cry like a kid. Ren man..... your soul is a hope that there is still hope. Infinite Thanks to whatever highier power gave you this talent, choose you to exist and spread your message.

[@Nightwolves1981]

a very insightful reaction rosalie to a powerfully emotional song thank you much love ❤

[@michaelw.bagley6631]

Intense and hits home.Thank you for this honest and true reaction. I am just now discovering Ren and I cannot stop listening.

[@LucaAnamaria]

Your empathy is palpable, Rosalie. ❤

[@reynamoyer2379]

I love how beautiful your soul is and how deeply you feel the world. You should be given all the gifts of love and community because you have so much to offer

[@JuliaWhite-hw7ow]

Years before I got the pleasure of stumbling onto Ren's music, I was taught to live on purpose by my oldest son. He's got duchenne muscular dystrophy, and eventually the muscles that control his heart and/or lungs will atrophy, and his life will end. He was given 25 years when he was diagnosed at age 5, and this year he will be 29. It's our hope that we gave him more years because we didn't let him become obese. But knowing he was going to have such a short life really brought my own life into focus, and how fleeting it was going to be. His legacy is teaching me to live on purpose, not to just go through the motions, but to put life into my life, so I'm not just surviving.

[@ollierinko9387]

My previous truly serious relationship ended in suicide. Almost three years, talks of getting a place of our own, a good day of hanging out, ended with a "See you tomorrow". That "tomorrow" that never came is now 25 years in past, but the pain still lingers. That tomorrow was a call from her roommate in the morning, who found her dead in a tub. The thoughts of "I should've seen something. I should've been able to do something." *still* occasionally bubble up. I doesn't help that I didn't get to say goodbye properly, as her parents took the easy way out and blamed me. I don't blame them for doing that anymore, it was hard for us all, but.. Knowing where she's buried would've helped me back then. Hell, I still bring flowers every year to a memorial to those buried elsewhere, or whatever it's called in English. It took me a good 10 years to figure out it's not *MY* fault, with the help of therapy, that I couldn't have done anything. I was close to going too, at times. But just like Ren, it never felt like the right time. I didn't commit. Therapy saved me from following my ex. Now, I'm happily married with 2 kids, 4 and 1-years-old. And a lovely wife that understands *why* I need to go to the memorial every year. Please, please, PLEASE, ask for help and don't become a statistic.

[@ollierinko9387]

The pain never truly goes away. The dance gets easier, feeling comes and goes, but it's always present. In the silent moments, in the small things in life.

[@lunchbox9864]

Thank you. Great reaction. I’ve lost two loved ones to suicide. A family member and a close friend. This hits close to home. I know what it feels like to be JUST too late. Those of us left living need to put in work to help save those that need saving. But at the same time, it’s not our fault. We can only do what we can do. All we can do is love one another.

[@MsMegF]

I find it astounding that anyone would say Ren is advocating self harm! He was so affected by Joe’s loss that he advocates against it! Suppressing people like Ren makes people in need feel alone.

[@juliethorne8050]

Oh Rosa, bless your heart. I knew you'd do this piece justice. I honestly wasn't ready for it and I should've been knowing Ren's work as I do! But man, this one... Phew. Everything, from the lyrics to the animation to Ren's tears. It was simply sublime and hit me on an almost cellular level. And yes, we have to talk about it; death, however it comes, is part of life, and understanding how we might react to death means taking notice of what's going on around us in life. Not only us but our beloved friends and family, our neighbours... If we have a shop we put a bowl of water outside for Dogs in the summer, we ask that elderly person if they need help with their groceries - we need to remember who we are, and not shy away from the goodness that I believe is inherent in most people. Always tell those you love that you love them when you say goodbye or hang up the phone... Be nosy, ask about someone's day and listen to them tell you about it in all its glory, triumphant or troubled. It matters, it's important. You matter, you're important. Ren matters, he's important. Much love and thank you for the reaction, beautiful and erudite as always.

[@dfusit]

Thank you Rosalie ❤ Life is worth living, it might not feel that way when you’re hurting but it really is. Ren is such a gift to us all. My big sister decided to end her pain after years and years of mental suffering. I miss her so much. Suicide is never the solution - ever. To all those who have been left behind, be there for someone else.

[@Whimsicalbrainpan]

Great reaction! Ren is such a powerhouse of a musician. As someone who has dealt with severe depression and craved death like air, I can honestly say it does get better. It took such a long time and there are still bad days but mostly life is good. So glad these issues are being addressed. So glad we have Ren and you. Thank you!

[@AndrewinAus]

Rosalie, I think that all of your subscribers have been waiting for you to listen to and see Ren's latest work since it dropped. It hits hard as I saw with you as well. Once again Ren has created something masterful. So many of Ren's songs have lyrics that will stay with me for a long time. Some of them will stay forever. In the case "one movement to expose our fragility". Having been where Ren's mate Joe was at times over many years, the one thing that has influenced me significantly is the knowledge of the hole my absence would leave in the lives of those that care. Keep up the wonderful, great and genuine content my friend.

[@mej6519]

i havent lost anyone to suicide, but i lost someone close to me to drink, she drank her self into an early grave, we put her through rehab 3 times but she treated it like a summer vacation. i came to realise that no matter that what we tried to do for her it wouldnt have helped and that it was her way out. sometimes all the help in the world isnt enough and its a very difficult pill to swallow.

[@Jason_xofilos]

A couple of postscript thoughts Much some of other works is the beautiful music and catchy ear worm of the best blended with horror of the lyrics out poet has created. Then the haunting beautiful piano blended with the raw emotion of his poetry, and of course his performance at end a punctuation at the end of this video. Sorry for your loss or condolences are the correct societal manners we all fall back on but his/our pain is blended with the wonderful memories of the one we lost. Left me speechless while communicating a common connection to our collective humanity. Also the eternal dance between darkness and light are shown in the main video cas shown on Ren’s face as he walks the cityscape.

[@TheAJlounge]

as most people here, this song hit me hard, my dad lost his life in 2011, and I hold the same regrets he does as the last conversation I had the night he died, was an argument of a stupid teenager rebelling against his dad. It haunts me every day. Its hard to understand if I was the extra step of a bad night or a misplaced argument in his weak moment. But I don't hide from my pain but share it with others because I have a family 2 kids and I will keep going and do what I can to show my kids that life is worth everything. I deal with anxiety and depression daily and I am my biggest enemy, but I know I am not alone and hearing songs like this reminds me of that. We have to keep moving forward, we have to show the world we can grow and become stronger.

[@mjfseven]

Thanks! Have been listening to for months now. Thank you for being so honest and articulated. Explaining, who we are, is not easy. Two years ago my brothers son jumped off a bridge. I was worried about my brother because he didn't handle it well. As a testament to the Power of art. He wrote a song called "If I could talk to you again" then he turned a corner and helped all of us deal with the loss. (a fan for life) THANK YOU.

[@rosalieelliottofficial]

WOW! Thank you very much for your generous support. Thank you also for sharing your story with me. Thank you for your vulnerability. I am very sorry for your and your brothers loss :( I am amazed at how he still chose to create something so special in the face of such suffering.

[@mjfseven]

Its seems to be what brought him back to a better place. He even posted it on you tube. @@rosalieelliottofficial

[@tiburfrank3627]

I have listened to the song itself many times, and also many reactions. There is no question that this man is an ARTIST in the strictest sense of the word. I have never heard such a wonderful eulogy before!!! But I think it's also part of the healing process for him, because now he's coming to terms with the fact that his friend is really gone, even though his body was never found. This man is a miracle! I think this song (like all of them) will bring a lot of healing. I hope he can heal with his art for a long time and I wish him nothing but the best. It's sure to leave a mark, no matter how it turns out!

[@aimeekeel]

I love your reactions. This one is so tough, but also so important to put out there. I love that Ren is sharing his experiences, and opening up dialogue. That is so important to so many people.

[@debbieblack8406]

Thank you Rosalie, for your compassionate insightful post.

[@emilianoserranosouza1991]

This one is really deep and hard, thank you for a beautiful reaction!!

[@11Scorpions]

I lost two different close bros to suicide, and I'm so glad Ren not only focused on the feelings of the suicidal, but also those of the ones caught in the wake of what they've done. The thing that was hardest for me, was that for a very long time I couldn't even mourn them because I was too PISSED OFF at them for doing this to all of us whom they left behind. Please, to anyone who thinks they are getting to this horrible place mentally and emotionally, know that there are people out here who want to fight along side you to help keep you here among us. I miss you, Rick and John 😞

[@sarasweightlossjourney1432]

My best friend since I was 9 years old committed suicide February 13th of last year and I've been really struggling to do with it. I can't make sense of it. She was always such a happy-go-lucky person but deep down you could tell she was masking a lot of pain. We had lost touch for the last few years but still every time we would talk, it was like no time went by. This is such a hard subject and topic but it needs to be spoken about. Ren is amazing how he shares his vulnerabilities and struggles to connect others but he brings a positive spin because he's fighting for life and not giving up

[@kerimccabe2931]

No one can understand what someone is feeling when they end their life. Not even suicide survivors because something pulls them away

[@jocey42]

This makes me think about Scott Hutchinson, he also wrote amazing upbeat tracks about his own mental health issues 😢💔

[@alffy1977]

I'm a massive fan of Frightened Rabbit and Scott also wrote some fantastic lyrics about depression and emotions. I can't listen to Floating in the Forth anymore as it foreshadows his own suicide. Tragic 😢

[@GabeHornne]

You were the very first reactor i watched and that was immediately after i heard ren for the first time (hi ren) you are so well spoken and i truly enjoy and value your opinions. Especially with these powerful ones. Thank you an to i cant wait to see more

[@NixyRose72]

I've lost so many. As I get older, it becomes more common to get those phone calls. Although these days it's more natural causes etc. It still hurts. I lost my first friend to his own hand when I was 16 in the 11th grade. He was a senior. He trusted me. One day he wanted to talk. He seemed serious and I was having a rare good day. I didn't want to talk right then. I had stuff to do. What did I have to do? It was so unimportant, I don't even remember what it was. I told him I'd absolutely talk to him before we left school that day. He left early and I never got a chance to make up for my selfishness. He went home and put a bullet in his head. I think about it sometimes. I used to think about it all the time. In my mind, I pretend I sat down and talked with him that day. I listened and he gave it another shot. In this daydream I talked him into getting help and I never lost my friend. But reality is so harsh and you always have to face it. I was selfish and I will always wonder if I could have saved him. I lost so many friends to suicide over the years. (Depressed people apparently gravitate together) and I tried to take my own life at 18. I almost succeeded. So close. I didn't get to loosen the noose on the rope. I didn't get the chance. It broke. And before it snapped I had so much regret. Not that I would end, but that I would put that pain on my parents. The people that I loved most in the whole world, and I almost did to them what had been done to me. The pain of the ones who took their own lives never gets less. With natural causes, which still hurts an awful lot, it eventually gets easier. When they leave us by their own hands.... it's so much more to the pain. There's anger and guilt and regret and the knowledge that IT'S TOO EFFING SOON AND IT'S NOT EFFING FAIR!!!! I'm older and have lost many friends. It never gets easier. I've been in that hole, where there isn't any visible way out. I have a severe chronic pain connective tissue disorder. I hurt every day. There's no escaping it. I used to wake up and cry because I was still here. Sometimes I still do. I can't remember where I was going with this, maybe just to say to anyone out there: you are not alone! Reach out. Even if your pain is different... pain is still pain and sometimes a different perspective can shine a light where you couldn't see it before. Please, just know that you are enough and you are loved. ❤ (Oh and Rosalie, when I heard him say double Dutch my heart double-timed. When I was 18 i tried to hang myself with a cheap-ass nylon/plastic type double Dutch jump rope. It snapped... after I'd had seconds or forever to realize how much I'd effed up. But it chilled me to hear that. I'm also sobbing. Ren has that effect. My very soul is aching. The world needs to know and see and feel this amazing man's soul. And to know that they/we are not alone and our feelings are valid and it's OK to hurt. And to grieve. ) Sending so much love ❤️💙💜 Sorry for the novel. ♡

[@andrewprice9820]

So there is a strong determination that I always pick out of ren's beats, it's a solid feeling of determination and intent that I get which to me is uplifting.

[@cathryntruebloood3913]

Thank you so much for reacting to this, for sharing your thoughts, feelings, and opinions on such a difficult and intensely important subject.

[@Vmcf1968]

your light is so bright. ty for being such a beautiful human being

[@SteveWhipp]

This one absolutely kicks me in the heart with every watch.

[@pault6639]

Rosalie, I have been hooked on Ren for years now, I have never commented on a reaction video (even though I have seen thousands [ok, hundreds]) This was so close to the bone that I just had to applaud your insight - go girl!

[@nancyj795]

Great reaction! Enjoyed your interview with Ren.

[@Krise343]

I think one reason you’re still here is to be helping Ren deliver his message. This is a really important channel, I think, too. ✨🙏🏻💕

[@christianking8962]

I just found your channel... Through Ren (I'm a super Ren fan) and this is the second video I've watched....I just want to say that you are great! You have an amazing way breaking these videos down and saying important things that need to be said, not to even mention your ability to break down the musicality and lyrics and the psychology behind it all! And your message of hope. Thank you!!! 🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻

[@julianginniver5785]

sending you a big hug 🫂 being open about the challenges in your life is hard, brave and so important help people understand they aren't on their own going through this. ❤

[@tinadunbar4577]

We all cried last night. This song shows that suicide is devastating even years and years later. I'm sure Joe wishes he was still here. RIP Joe ❤ Forgive yourself Ren man, I know its hard to not blame yourself. xx RIP my brother Mike.

[@Minextube]

Been thinking about it since i was 12 and now I’m 32 and this song opened my eyes in a perspective I’ve never thought off

[@mdanam]

I haven't even watched this reaction yet while posting this comment. But I have seen the video and I know this is going to hit you very hard. I also know it is one of the most important videos that Ren has made so far. Just know we all ❤ you Rosalie.

[@slcncr]

This song hit me on a very personal and emotional level. It is equally sad and also beautiful to watch. I suffer from severe depression and immense loneliness for decades. And yes, suicidal thoughts as well, for many years, every day. When existing itself is already exhausting. Feeling empty and dead inside, useless, hopeless, no ability to experience any joy, nothing "recharges my batteries". I haven´t felt "alive" in *many* years. What hit me the most: Ren shows us how deep this friendship, how real this love for his friend was. What a beautiful tribute. And it makes me realize that i have never in my 55 years of existing felt that loved and therefor missed that much.

[@kriscooper7687]

"never really felt like the right time" ... but then, they find the time - whoever they are. For me it was my best inpatient friend. We made a deal, a pact. She carried through one day early, called me to apologize. Too late. This really cut deep. Ren is speaking for so many of us. A light goes out on the other side - that place where you may as well be d*ad. The other side of "this".... being in that place of wanting to leave but not having the guts, not finding that time.... and then someone else "beats" you to it... drops over the edge, falling away and you wish you were with them. But you're not. And you miss them but you miss yourself and it's too late because you're... nowhere. 30 years later and I'm with you, Ren. More than you will ever know.

[@cybrgrl9203]

Excellent reaction. The most on target analysis of the lyrics I've seen, thus far.

[@slamduncproductions3198]

Not related to the song at all, but today I learned that I’m from the same town as Ren because you put the Welsh flag in the thumbnail. Seriously just blew my mind. In a darker note I now have also just realized that I know which bridge he's talking about and I think I know who his friend is that died. That just made this song a whole lot more real.

[@moonshelter3448]

He is genius and I agree with every single word you've said. I actually understand it all very well because my clinical depression often pushes me to the edge but at the same time what makes me so strange to others is that death is my aesthetics, it always was this way, and more than that I fight with that fatal feeling because of my wish to reach some level of immortality. Literally. Also please don't cry. You're such a beautiful soul, girl. We all suffer in different ways...

[@jamestorrance4664]

Just love your interpretation and understanding of this hugely talented person ❤️ 👌

[@joshuawiedenbeck6944]

There are so many double meanings written into this song. "Treading down tracks in the nighttime" means walking on train tracks at night when the train can't see you. If you choose to not move out of the way, it's over. It also means listening to and writing music late at night to deal with the pain. Then the line about looking down into tranquility. It means both tranquility for his friend, knowing his struggle is over. But it also means that seeing the water and how peaceful it looked was alluring to Ren and tempted him to follow. The whole song is a masterpiece.

[@davidricks7128]

First time i watched Hi Ren i had a panic attack I have PTSD and many other mental and physical health issues but thought i needed to watch it again so i watched someone reacting to it that was the best thing i could do i have watched many times since. One thing i think about the Hi Ren and SUICIDE songs is it needs to be seen by every one even in schools, because how many children kill themselves because of the negativity towards them from nasty comments and bullying to them believing what is said. I went through hell, bullied all through school to the point i attempted suicide twice, if there was something in place for children at that time and even now how many Suicides could have been prevented. Both these songs open up conversations helping others to talk about what they are feeling. As for Ads on video's these songs are perfect for Ads on mental health awareness and help lines for those who need them

[@Weeem]

One of the most difficult things I found about losing the person closest to me was that, the only person I wanted to talk to about it and to hold, was her. People were lovely and tried to be supportive, but she was the one that my heart reached for. It's been 2 1/2yrs and I still think of her every day. Some days are worse as her illness was exceptionally cruel for such a long time. It was so unfair. I don't think that'll ever stop thinking of her until I close my eyes for the last time in this world and open them in the next. Maybe I'll see here again. I hope so

[@KEATSO433]

I suffer from combat ptsd and this really hits home also losing buddies to there demons makes it hard day to day sometimes big thanks to ren for highlighting mental health

[@rosalieelliottofficial]

Thank you for your service. I’m sorry to hear you’re hurting. I agree. Highlighting these things is necessary. You are not alone.

[@spomenkachekerevatz4848]

I am sooo glad you are still here Rosalie, you're a bright light in the night sky 🌟

[@censingmoth]

You are such a beautiful person in every way. You make so much sense and speak from the heart. Love what you do and enjoy your reaction videos more than any. Thanks for doing what you do. 44:40

[@Peter_Cetera]

Excellent reaction - Ren is a GENIUS. At the end my heart stood still for a moment... Can´t imagine how it feels to loose a good friend or a family member by suicide.

[@paukahdus]

Thank you Ren and Rosalie! ❤️ The darkness was too much once. But we're here. There's a reason. ❤️‍🩹

[@KrisPoole-mx7tf]

I’ve recently struggled with suicidal feeling and after attempting to end my own life and luckily being saved this song really hits you hits you different and makes you think about it from the side of the family and extended family you leave behind

[@loutsont2985]

Hi Rosalie, thank you for your heart to heart reaction. It is true that ostriching, flooding and faking do not make it go away. Only suicide, or the courage to start again with nothing but the love you dared ask for. In Afrika somewhere they have a greeting: "I see you walking".

[@robertpetre9378]

This is a truly powerful and heartbreaking song 🎵 rest in peace to Ren’s friend😢

[@noonoobunbun]

Wow so powerful, I feel like I've been kicked square in the chest! You are such an important voice of truth, reality and compassion. Pure beautiful human

[@siraquilamensah]

Ren's music, each one of them, to me, is a beautiful mirroring gallery. Every time you listen and or watch his music, you see a different portrait that you relate to. Suicide is something that isn't talked about often. Where I come from, speaking out, as a man especially, is seen as a sign of weakness. Not just suicide; death, suffering a loss. I find Ren's suicide very personal cos it pretty much feels like me having a conversation with myself. I don't know anyone who has committed suicide, and I never had the guts to try one myself, but I thought about it a lot of the time, I still do sometimes. To me, I did it each time I thought about it. Ren gives hope to those who relate by talking about all those things almost everyone never wants to talk about. Your breakdown is in depth and insightful. Thank you for the work you do, Rosalie.

[@Thomas.Saunders]

He wrote the song "Freckled Angels" for Joe and sang it at his funeral. You can find a video here on KZbin with Ren singing it live only 8 months after it happened.

[@ThomDirect]

I wrote this as i lost a loved one to suicide 6 years different This time I've learnt just how much darkness I can dive in and survive. Slowly suffocating under sedation, "Take this one, it'll help with the thoughts" Thoughts turn more sinister as I slowly get closer to the light I flick the switch. I will not go quietly and I will not go gently when you come to take me to you. I see where I lost you. Calming water soothe the broken bits of me. I hear your laugh, See your smile, Your beauty blinded me too what was hidden within you. So darling sit with me. Let us enjoy this time we have again. I searched for ways to be whole again and learnt rhis year it will never be. So I let you rest on me again. Pour the drinks, Light the cigars. Inhale the familiar scents, Hold onto the memories. Let my self hit the rocks at full force, They say griefs a waterfall well if that's true let's feel the spray of icey water on our faces. You search for the wings from when I was your angel, All you feel is scars from where they burnt off I will heal. I must endure more. So hold my hands, Feel the fear within me.

[@MrNiccholas]

Powerful. I envy people who can express their emotions and thoughts with beautiful words. I've always struggled to find words to describe what I'm feeling. Recently that has been much more difficult. I was in a car accident and suffered a Traumatic Brain Injury. Sometimes I can't put a full sentence together. I get frustrated and to paraphrase, The more Ridgid I become the harder it gets. But man, sometimes I just don't know how to relax.

[@ThomDirect]

@MrNiccholas sometimes all we need is something to shift the focus, and hope you get all the support you need. Thank you and it took me a lot of therapy and meds to finally be able to express feelings

[@iczero1224]

Damn you set me off at the end, and I was trying so hard not to go this time, love the reaction ❤

[@tattoodude8946]

I like the "upbeat" nature of the song against the backdrop of such a dark subject. It is catchy and I find myself bobbing to the beat and singing along to the "suicide, suicide, suicide" chorus. But that is the way it should be - we should be open and able to say these painful words without fear or repercussion (you hear that KZbin). It is important - burying it only makes it run deeper. It is ok to be human again - flaws and all. Thank you, Ren, for helping to show that it is ok to be human again. Keep pushing man!

[@MariaSookias]

Thank you for this reaction. Handled with such sensitivity, humanity, and wisdom. I hope you are taking care of yourself too. Self-love soooo important.

[@streekee]

Love this reaction and that you took the time to actually breakdown and talk about it instead of just saying that it’s something we should all be free and able to talking about. Thank you ❤

[@5siggi]

Thank you for your break down of the song, your connection to people, your connection to Ren and sharing it with us with such wisdom, empathy and love! Ren wrote in one of his community posts that a family friend told him "Suicide does eliminate the possibility that things will get worse, but it also eliminates all possibility that things could ever get better." He said that has really stuck with him. I know from my experience, living in chronic pain since 2009 it's crossed my mind many times. It's not that I want to die but I don't want to live in pain. I've come to terms that my life is a gift and I'm grateful for it. I'm sorry that Ren's friend Joe didn't see his gift. RIP Joe

[@stormingjales]

I needed this right now. Thank you.

[@nightsky992]

I think it's really interesting that the music is so upbeat and the topic and lyrics so grave. Ren described the friend this song is about as "the funny guy" of the friendgroup. I feel that this plays into that or represents the happiness that he had portrayed while fighting these unknown battles on the inside...

[@SurelyLocksHolme]

Thank you for sharing this Rosalie 🥺🥹💙. Was a beautiful journey to go down with you 🌅🏞️🌄. I was looking forward to seeing you react to this and it was definitely impactful and appreciated ☺️. Ayo❣️💟☮️

[@technologysheep9229]

hey i am watching from germany. im so glad i found you (and Ren)... you gave me a bit more time

[@markymark5564]

Suicide is the biggest killer of people under the age of 35 and the biggest killer of men under the age of 50. It is the leading cause of death in the UK for 10-19 year olds. If you have friends or family you may think need help, please reach out to them and let them know you love them and try to help them away from the darkness. As Ren says you make your own karma.

[@alloralou4722]

When he says I tried to cut away my bitterness-hatchet job it hit me hard. I’ve tried to ‘cut’ away my bipolar issues so that line really resonated with me. I’ve lost 4 friends to suicide. It breaks my heart.

[@highlightshadow]

It's good because Ren has this ability to cut through all the bullshit and just speak to the deep seated truth that resides in us broken people. It draws you in then rips you in two with the unflinching truth and reality of it.

[@TheBorderRyker]

I lost one of my closest friends 30 odd years ago when I was in the Army. I still feel the pain when I think of him and it can still bring tears. We were still just kids. So I can honestly say that everything Ren says in this is true. My friend’s name was Jamie and I still really f*ckin miss him. Years later I stared into the void on the brink of ending myself. Thankfully I was disturbed before I put the noose around my neck and I was able to get help. I was lucky. So I’ve kinda seen this from both sides. Neither one is good. Thank you for sharing your reaction to this one. You’re absolutely right. We need to be able to talk honestly about this issue. Because, right now, somewhere, someone is standing on the precipice and it’s possible that all they need is to talk or to be held or to be told that they are loved. If it’s you feeling like that please, PLEASE reach out to a friend, family member, anyone. You are not alone. 🙏🏻

[@Quizzy0000]

funny to hear you say upbeat its true but im still in tears from last reaction i heard to this and yea the ending is heartbreaking. ren is a master of lyrics and emotion. he went trough so much, im happy he can teach and share the kind of pain trough music.

[@RiceyBhoy89]

Sick boi healing us all 💪🏻💚 Pain can become power,depression can be a blessing in disguise. Lyrics from another artist I love Fred again- “Sometimes I wanna feel the pain”. All these emotions from highest of highs to deepest of despair..they are part of life and all lessons,some we learn some we fail to learn. I hate blabbing on but yup we learn every single day and that pain can only make us stronger if we allow ourselves to grow and learn from it. Ren got big love in his art and his close Friend is poured this beautiful track through him…it comes from a place of pain but it’s beautiful all the same ❤️‍🩹 Music is about connecting on many levels and Ren just unlocking all corners. Sick boi? He’s out sick brother 💚💪🏻

[@pudermcgavin4462]

I can't believe this man! He is amazing and tech and so brining it to the front!

[@EandJ937]

Holy moley🥺 I have been avoiding this song like the plague, but strangely I wanted to hear it the first time with you… my wife and I just celebrated our honeymoon and her youngest daughter’s dad was a childhood friend of mine who gave in to that feeling and now there’s alot of pieces to gather but your reaction is the only way I can introduce her to this song… thank you so very much pretty lady please keep doing what you’re doing… and I’m happy af for you to have gotten that interview 🤙🏽❤️

[@nkkdowling1]

My sister committed suicide and Ren's music has brought some emotions that I have suppressed. His music has been a journey for me and it has been therapeutic in a way that I can't express. My only words are thank you Ren!