The Truth About Vanlife and Dating - My Perspective from 2-1/2 Years on the Road

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[@rosslukeman]

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[@Exoticaworship7]

Thank you so much for this video 😊! As a BLK female VanLifey I find it very difficult to date . Because unfortunately there's not many BLK men in the lifestyle let alone those that understand lifestyle.. unfortunately most of my people call me homeless whereas as other cultures would call me nomadic . My people have a tendency try and pump fear into me , and or treat me like a charity case. it's disheartening. So much so I'm reluctant to tell a man in my ethnic group that I do van life . I tend to go on dating apps in hopes of connecting with someone that will be willing to genuinely get to know me but I keep failing because I did not realize that I was no longer living a "normal or "traditional" lifestyle " I now notice that what concerns a man such as getting up and going to a 9-to 5 is no longer MY concern . or paying rent is no longer MY concern. What I'm realizing is that it's not so much a racial thing as much as it's me coming to terms that I no longer live like THEY LIVE !! Their concerns are no longer MY concerns and mine are never . Community is SOOOOOOOOO important to have no matter what lifestyle you choose . because within a community you fund like minded folks , assistance , understanding, freedom , less explaining less judgement and way more FREEDOM! . I kept thinking oooh I can date a regular guy who lives in a regular house or Apt working a regular job and he'll get me !!!! But NOOOOO ! I have had to learn the hard and hurt way that NOW it's time to find my OWN tribe of men be it black white or whatever ! So that's my Issue . And mind you I have been doing van life for 2 + years . But just now getting an understanding that my lifestyle has drastically changed, therefore I need to be on a dating app that caters to nomads or create a meet up group for those seeking to date nomads . I'm not saying that I wish to not include "regular" men into my dating world but in this season I'm taking matters into my own hands !! and I'm choosing who I let into my world! my life gets sweeter by each day ! I will no longer allow these men to say what I am based on their limited education and experiences in life due to their OWN fears !! and as a female VanLifey It's all about SAFETY and mindset and confidence that I'll need to attract a man who will #1 RESPECT me and the lifestyle I choose to live . And unfortunately my culture / ethnicity are uneducated and unaware of the lifestyle . Most times I find that men will want to take advantage of me and or worse assume that I'm in my van soliciting . 😳 Which makes me sometimes sad but most times angry AF . 🤬. But what I have found to ease my mind , is that I am learning to travel to different environments and seek out a community rather they are black or white . I find that being around other van folks or RVers gives me the confidence that I'll need to attract the they right guy ! I find that getting out of the city and leaving urban stealth mode behind is a huge relief. I usually end up going to the beach a where there are those who boondock with other vanliferies or Rvsers .again , that usually calms down all anxieties concerning the lifestyle I live . Lastly , I pay attention to how I feel when I tell a man ( or any one for that matter ) that I do VANLIFE there have been moments where I was thinking if I should just lie or pretend that I'm living a *regular" lifestyle till.i get to know them .. however, I don't want to come into anything with lying or deceit at the forefront of a relationship. . I am not ashamed of my lifestyle and for God's sake I don't want to hide . This lifestyle has brought me freedom ..and exposure to nature's beauty a closer walk with the creator and room to follow my dreams as a spiritual practitior. I have no regrets. And yet I have been around those that want me to feel insecure about what I choose to do . I find that if a man genuinely likes me he then wants to "rescue ," and invite me to come live in his home of so called "SAFTY and provision" me or they want to use me flat out . So again .as of my bday Jan 30 I turned 46 ( yes y'all ) and took me this long to make up in my mind that I will not allow someone to try and drag me BACK DOWN into the rabbit hole of traditional living , I work when I want and I go where I want ( within the laws of the land ) I call myself the Black gypsy -hippie at times as a reminder of not only where I come from, but where I'm at RIGHT NOW ! In this moment! I would need for any man to meet me right where I am today ! And accept and embrace my lifestyle. ! Be as excited as I am About my adventurous personality and out going nature ! Don't try to stifle that or suppress my inner child because you lack understanding! 😁 btw , I do shower and most times work out at the gym . I make my own monies enough to cater to the lifestyle . And I'm saving up for an RV. if a man comes into my life now , I pray he will enter into my works with heart of compassion, that he might help me with getting an RV . That would be ideal 💯👑😁. I am loving and living my best life now ! And that's the energy and vibe I want you send off. I raised my 3 children as a single mom and now I'm a granny ( a sexy one too 💕😁 anywho , all that you have said has giving me more courage to continue my journey..my deepest desire is upgrade to an RV soon..for more security and GOD I MISS cooling and above all I can't wait to STAND UP LOL ! I'm 5ft and still have issue with having to slouch over to get dressed ..any who I have said so much .thank you for listening Ps . I never get lonely doing van life ...most times I just want a part time companion and or lover to spend time with maybe 2 times a week . someone that's full of laughter joy understanding patients...and sweetness ✨ love and light Jaw 💞 (new Subbie 💕

[@austinwilliams9941]

As a blk man, I can assure you we are here. But respectfully, it's the nails. You are a beautiful woman but the extremely long nails are a major turn off for 90% of men.

[@glendalewatkins7906]

Sista is black men are van lifers...everything you said is a mirror of my own life...i cant the mess my people try to throw at me so fuck them....keep living yo life...i really enjoyed reading your story an i hope to meet you on the road one day an just live life...be safe boo ❤

[@blessedupshea5593]

I think its mainly cus its not the norm and i wouldn't say never say never for men id date a woman that's living in a rv id think shes smart and not controlled by this worlds way of thinking so i mean yeah it woulld just take some getting use to to adjust to for me im 28 still stay with my folks recently i moved with them down to hosuston Texas and it was in Gods will for me to be out here but now ive been able to be put in position where i can really look to move out the housing situation is pretty messed up because obviously the rent is way too high for me at least right now and then at the same time i get many reviews of rats and roaches in and out of these apartments im actually happy to see that people like you would date a guy that lives in a rv i wanna live off grid so i mean a trailer is fine for me you should take it as a compliment your not like most women i admire that you brought hope to me today

[@Exoticaworship7]

@@austinwilliams9941 yet I'm in the business as long nail Goddess who's gets paid quite well , well enough to do van life even so much so last year I did my taxes and was able to buy MY own RV ....and you wanna know how I was able to do that guess ???? Because I have 2 very brave Black men and alot of YT men who dint mind paying tributes to a long nail Goddess! So no. Not ALL BLACK MEN only the ones that don't recognize ROYALTY ! 👑👑👑👑👑👑 again it's the lack of experience and education that USE TO ( not anymore) frustrated me ! enjoy your journey! JALINA Nails you can Google me 😁

[@Exoticaworship7]

@@glendalewatkins7906 thank you sweetly for the support 🥰🥰🥰🥰

[@W94urndks9urneos]

Not a popular topic. Not a popular thing to talk openly about. Great talk man! Love your perspective and candid opinions. 😊

[@rosslukeman]

Thanks Austin, I'm glad you got something out of that!

[@lag_profil]

I don't tell women about my van, pickup or boat, because of the implication.

[@W94urndks9urneos]

High five! Haha

[@MotoMiles]

My box truck is a utility stealth on the outside ..very nice interior .all white new crispy on the inside , backsplash , full shower , full bed , kitchen , Tv , plants , ambiance lanterns .

[@rosslukeman]

Nice! That sounds like it would definitely help with dating. You could even use the "you'll never guess how it looks on the inside" bit to pique their curiosity.

[@diannemckenna1606]

Thanks Ross, very helpful. I was afraid to get to know people when I first started car camping. Men seemed predatorial and women seemed threatened by me so I got to know myself by spending alot of time by myself. Like you, I began to pay attention to how I was perceived. I checked and rechecked my motives. Then I got to know alot of fine people. I gave up the dating idea altogether. This allowed me to just enjoy people's company which I needed to avoid lonliness and to grow spiritually. Thanks again for another great video.

[@rosslukeman]

Thanks Dianne, I can relate to your perception of others, becoming keenly aware of their perception of you, and learning about your own social needs out there. At the end of the day I think there is a ton of personal growth and awareness that happens when we go on these journeys. Thanks for checking out the video!

[@nena3001]

Interesting I saw this video after looking for and watching your vids on DC to DC chargers 😆. I loved the honesty and sharing the reality of life on the road. I enjoyed both the technical & the personal content 👏 .

[@rosslukeman]

Thanks for tuning in, glad you got something out of it!

[@societyofrobots]

I've been on the road for 4+ years. I've dated some, but all the women want me to quit the travel life and settle down.

[@kenjohnson9498]

very good video - thanks. my suggestion is go to van life meetings and talk to single women in vans, there is not a lot but there's some and you already have similar interests.

[@rosslukeman]

Thanks for adding this point Ken. I haven't been to those but it seems like a great place to meet people who get what you're doing.

[@jodilynnbreeze]

Great advice, spoken from your own experiences 👍

[@BlackDogShores]

I suppose this video is still about 'electricity'. ;)

[@ewannoelkailevi4772]

Enjoyed the video ...

[@rosslukeman]

Glad you enjoyed it, thanks for tuning in!

[@katedoesnature1658]

Came for the dating advice... Stayed for the electrical systems knowledge! 🤓🚐

[@deraheard1912]

Maybe look at women that are also living in a van

[@iandalton9147]

All excellent observations, Ross !

[@pettydesign]

Thanks for sharing your experiences, Ross! So humble and honest.

[@rosslukeman]

Thanks for tuning in James!

[@tdapple1]

Such Good Educational Content! Thank You 🙏 Brother. Keep Doing What You Do The Way You Do. It’s Brilliant! You’re a Brilliant Educator. Educating in a way that is also Entertaining & keeping everything Real. 🍻 👊 🇺🇸

[@rosslukeman]

Thank you! Really appreciate that. Thanks for tuning in!

[@thingstheydontdiscussinchurch]

Very interesting perspectives. I never thought or realized that simple point about the Van life dating impressions by the beauty of a van.

[@opossumgrylls3275]

Please make a video about a propane generator with automatic start when the battery gets too low.