Les Carter & Ross. Parental Alienation Is Narcissistic Abuse at Its Worse. Part 1 of 2

[@RossRosenberg]

🤗 Unlock the ultimate support group today: www.patreon.com/RossRosenbergSLRI

[@joparis957]

PA is like having your kids murdered in the middle of the night and no one cares. They are the funerals you never have. Like your child goes for a walk and never come back and there’s nothing anyone can do so you just wait by the door indefinitely going back and forth in your mind about if your kids really knew and understood that you loved them and how could they be manipulated against you after all the love you’ve bestowed and tried to bestow upon them🖤 This is a wicked world.

[@bonniekesic8040]

Years ago I got in trouble. Not really a big deal but I went to work release for 2 weeks. My husband picked me up along with my daughter and we went to lunch. During lunch he told me that he was going to seek custody over my daughter and take her from me. He alienated my daughter from me because he wanted her social security money. We went to court and the court wasnt going to rule in his favor but my daughter stood up and said she wanted to live with her dad.

[@Lioness_of_Gaia]

Yes. Well put.

[@alonsoquixano]

Yes. No one cares. Your kids are gone? Nothing to see here. Move along. Funerals you never have, yes....this is one of the things in life that only those who experienced it can understand.

[@paulaw9764]

Yes 😢 💔🤗🙏❤️

[@paulaw9764]

​@@bonniekesic8040 what a shock for you ❤️🙏

[@dawn6232]

Grieving the loss of a child that is still alive is mind bending.

[@michaelrobinson2319]

Living it

[@marilynhoward4561]

Me too,, it's so unfair 😢

[@bizygirl1]

@@marilynhoward4561 Yes it is and to conceptualize it for the inexperienced is impossible.

[@kimheaton8152]

I cry all the time over this.

[@dawn6232]

@@kimheaton8152 I’m sorry for you

[@pixiemoon3020]

Finally found someone talking about one narcissistic parent destroying the other parent and their relationship with their children. The narcissistic parent doesn’t just do this when it’s time for separation/divorce. Some play the long game, poisoning the mind of the child against the other parent their whole life, then just making them a flying monkey by the time of the breakup!

[@Coach.Kallista]

Parental alienation occurs anytime someone drives a wedge between you and your child(ren). Not just narcissistic co-parents but also narcissistic grandparents, narcissistic aunts/uncles, the school system, the parents of their peers, etcetera. Anyone who undermines your relationship with your child is culpable.

[@sandyschneider6792]

DIL’s especially…

[@LR-yu3mx]

That was my face too. Narc grandparents narcz, I was abused. Married a borderline, loved him dearly. Accepted all his mooiste and rages, tread softly, not to upset him.Malignant narc grandmother adored eldest son. Always contacted him and, I realised he became her flying monkey later on. After many years'marraige, hsb became mentally disabled, and it became clear to me I have been alienated, maybe I took the scapegoat role uncontiously. Husb died of heart attack, thats when the grown children started attacking me emotionally. 3 daughters were sweet, but 3 sons narcissistic. One belived daughter passed away.2 daughters were loving. Youngest living with a narcissist, so only 1 loving daughter left. Thankful for her love.

[@rosalvabooksllc354]

Asa grandparent- I see MANY loving, normal grandparents denied the chance to ever see their grandchildren. Usually bc of divorce, but often just s***ty, selfish, narcissistic kids, who don't want to be bothered with their old parents.

[@Leokat334]

Older adult children can alienate their younger siblings against a parent they’re pissed at. My oldest I is 36 and 9 years older than my 2nd daughter. She never had anything to do with her until I laid my oldest daughter off work for calling me names and have her bf text me to tell me what a great person she is and how hard she works. She took vegeance on me and then my Exhusband had been doing it all along and I didn’t realize it. Now they all hate me and call me names. It’s driven me into major depression and anxiety. I can’t get over my kids. It’s really like a funeral you never attended. They walked out the door one day and disappeared. I’m heartbroken and angry.

[@Chris-kp7pq]

Have you noticed divorce attorneys market, sell and deliver a parent fight for their personal opinion rights vs best interest of their children?

[@UtahGal]

This was the hardest thing I ever went through, harder by far than my narcissistic husband becomingan ex... however, I am so grateful that even though my middle daughter hated my very name, I never shut off communication, and after 5 years, she started to drop by just to say hi. And now after 10 years she and I are close again. It can happen, keep the faith. And have hope.

[@lastthingsministry]

Wonderful testimony! God bless you!

[@rogerdale1883]

So you do not say why the hostility,did you betray your ex and if did you do drugs?you say nothing about the cause.this sounds like narcissistic content as well,so did you deserve the treatment as he got parental custody?

[@sararichardson737]

I’m so happy to hear that. Not having children ,this harrowing account is traumatising, unimaginable pain for the parent/victim of such a scenario. wishing you and your daughter full recovery from the assault upon yr relationship.

[@sararichardson737]

@@rogerdale1883I can’t believe you actually wrote that. WTF!

[@rogerdale1883]

@@sararichardson737 I have no idea what you are talking about,mebe you are psycotic?

[@nadiaandanderd1932]

This is happening across the globe... It's not just parents working against the other, its also people who have agenda's of greed and selfishness turning young people against parents as well.

[@drblais5193]

how come you dont blame the abusive parents

[@AlphaDeltaBravo-t8j]

The pain you go through is almost unbearable. As a Mother, having my adult Children turn against me was devastating. You mourn Children, Grandchildren, Family and Friends. All those relationships were destroyed in my situation. There is hope! Stay Strong! Work on yourself! Move forward everyday!

[@mk8446]

💔😥

[@NickFurley]

Narcissistic You?

[@jeanfurley7703]

​@@NickFurley3:39

[@MaryLouPoli]

How did you stop the torture in your mind? The shame, the guilt ? I feel like my life is over.

[@AlphaDeltaBravo-t8j]

@@MaryLouPoli you put it away. In order to heal you put it away. You take it out from time to time. I find certain holidays hard. I prepare myself. You cry and mourn, then you put it away again. It’s a process. Taken best in small doses. You must forgive yourself. We are not perfect, we all have made mistake. Acknowledge them. Make progress a little at a time.

[@Katyayanibetha]

I'm suffering from parental alienation right now with my 23-year-old daughter since 2021. Her dad has tried his hardest to alienate her from me her entire life, so there's been lots of programming up until now. He's finally succeeded. It's crazy how someone you haven't even had contact with in 8 years and haven't been in a relationship with for 21 years can still abuse and harm you in the worst way possible.

[@pennylacombe4763]

Keep a journal daily. Never mentioning ‘him’ . Try to write your biography with every possible good thing you have done or felt or seen. Pretend that your daughter will someday come across the truth you have lived. Your life that she now has no idea how you were formed . You’ll probably feel better and if she ever comes across this biography, she’ll probably grow. Just a thought. ❤❤❤❤❤ (he can’t win if there’s no contest) 🤜🤛😘

[@pamelakremer7344]

That is his main goal..

[@tiamar316]

God Bless you, I know it's a terrible thing I feel for you. It is so hard, just stay strong. I am going thru this also, my daughter is 15 and it's been 4ish years. 🌹🙏

[@dominics7565]

Be strong. Don’t stoop to the narcissists level. 🙏🏽 ❤

[@merrilynstanger7241]

I am going through it right now . I have not seen my 28 yo daughter for four years …. He had me blacked out a few times …… make me look more messed up than him …. And my sister jumped on it and helped turn her against me with lies ! How could they ? My only daughter ! My heart is with you

[@lifestylebyrachel]

I’ve been alienated from my oldest son since 2020. It’s heartbreaking like living in grief every single day. Thank you both🙏

[@TheTheletterI]

Yup sounds like what I'm going through because I was alienated from my daughter and it's terrible. I'm trying to be fair and yup sounds like what is going on they are being so unfair

[@ladydi1210]

Narcissists are not just people in a lot of pain. They have been turned into tools of the devil. They are focal points for multiple spirits to drop in without any fore knowledge, and thus inflict hell on unsuspecting people who still possess their own souls.

[@nermakblackmuzik]

Also, we REALLY like your viewpoint & hope to see your written contribution in our community!

[@jenniferharrell77]

Spot on. 🎯

[@karlabritfeld7104]

Huh???

[@Horseluvver]

I soooo feel that; I've been going thru some crazy ish for the last 7 years. It's so off the wall I came to the very same conclusion.

[@FruitoftheVine114]

I completely agree.

[@heiders8488]

Parental alienation started for me, when our boys were very young. My now estranged husband refused to work for 11 years and so i would go out and work. He would be with them the most so i could put food on the table and a roof over our heads. I began feeling invisible because our boys would consult him on everything and would cling to him. I couldnt understand why. When my husband was finally caught in deviant behavior, he unraveled completely. Now that our boys are in therapy, they are expressing that their Dad would talk so badley about me and say untrue things......never around me but when they went for a walk, etc. He even talked to them about waiting for me to die. Now that he is not in our home, me and my boys have so much peace and happiness.

[@SphereOfStreaming]

Pure evil....

[@mtc-j9i]

My mom did this to my dad. Then, for the grand finale, she turned my brothers against me (their sister). These people don’t stop. She has destroyed every member of her own family even into our adult lives.

[@thomasgrant1881]

I am going through it right now with my brother.

[@saffloweroyl3663]

Oh my, that's exactly what happened in my family. The saving grace was reconnecting with my father 30 years ago and we now have the best, clearest, honest relationship. I'm so lucky.

[@alyssa12yoga]

Exactly what my father has done to his family

[@pagehouser6856]

Miriam, the account of your experience exactly mirrors my experience then and now; the sabotage, the face-to-face lies and subsequent cover-up, the manipulation of the minds of children and spouse. I divorced her after 21 years of marriage and am still dealing with the cabal of deceit that she has wrought on 2 of the 3 kids we raised. There is no real hell that is suitable for those that perpetuate the lie and groom children to execute it.

[@DanielFreeMan365]

Yes. This sometimes already starts in early childhood. She can do this to everyone in and out of family to extended family. It goes on all life. Even if they act like they love you they are just sociopaths waiting to stab you or gaslight. They will bring everyone against you and act like they are there to help you. They will gaslight and lie and poison you against everyone else

[@marjorieprezioso4750]

Parental Alienation is the most insidious form of narcissism. The only answer I can see to the problem is to teach children how to spot a narcissist, sociopath, psychopath in school so they don't get into a relationship with one.

[@jevelwilson]

It will not help for people like me & my brother who were taken away from one parent at a very young ages (4 yo & 6 months old) and had years of mental/emotional abuse, lies & manipulation by the custodial parent.

[@ktpuss]

…and then it dawns on you one of the ‘kids’ has turned into a narc themselves.

[@ericgavidia291]

I have a simple solution. In cases of false allegations, reverse child support and custody. Family court provides incentives for Narcs. Take away the motivation and mechanism to harm, and the Narc will stop.

[@Portia620]

I agree with you. This needs to be taught in an early age. It’s time it stops.❤🙏🙏🙏🙏

[@SamSolasdonSaol]

While I wholeheartedly agree that this needs to be taught... All of these horrific people are incredibly prolific in concealing who they really are. They have charm and charisma like no other. These are the personality types that are often able to even dupe even the most aware, educated, dedicated professionals. People who spend their lives studying these monsters with the insidiously beautiful masks.

[@louisaisthankful4603]

I loathe narcissism and parental alienation. I have not seen my 27 year old son since he was 11 years old (except in a couple of worthless counseling sessions that I paid for) Not for lack of trying and paying LOTS of child support and LOTS of court fees (and MILLIONS of tears) - all for nothing. He's been completely brainwashed. Only God can get him out. (My mother alienated me from my father, but I didn't realize this until this happened to my son. My dad and I were reconciled 💞)

[@RoseQuartzGemini]

Louisa, I'm so sorry for what you've been through. I relate to this too, I have similar situation.

[@cliffordkelleher0142]

Thats tough. God bless

[@alonzomosley7]

Yep understand going through this myself

[@michelepascoe6068]

Yes, it's heartbreaking; sorrow for life. Glad you were reconciled to your father. My mother separated three husbands from their children, and tried to turn mine against me and my husband, succeeding with 2 of our 5. She kept me physically from my father as a child and teen and tried to persuade me that he was bad, and even brain-damaged! He was a very kind person and my only parent who never spoke ill of the others. He showed me unconditional love so that when I became a Christian as an adult, I could easily relate to a loving heavenly Father whom I can't see but to whom I have worth. Peace and courage to you. God still has a plan for our children; keep praying for their salvation; we could be reconciled in the life to come with everything explained and every tear wiped away.

[@marjorieprezioso4750]

What you need to understand is that PA is cycleatory. It was your narcissistic mother that predisposed you to taking a narcissistic partner. What you experienced as a child became normalized as you sought to form your own family. I suggest for you to begin healing (if you have not already done so) find, forgive and reconnect with your alienated father. Do not confront your narcissistic mother. Narcissists will retaliate with a vengeance if you remove their mask. In fact the only way you can protect yourself from narcissistic abuse is to go completely "no contact". This is hard. Perhaps the hardest thing you will ever do. You have likely not experienced the level of narcissistic abuse from your mother that I did, so you may not need to go to the lengths I did. When the time comes for forgiveness of the unforgivable, you can forgive them because they are mentally ill. Forgiveness is for you, not for them. But, forgiveness is hard.

[@LaddaSunshine]

The core of the narcissist is this anger and shame that drives him to punish his partner and take possession of these objects - his children.

[@darlenealessio7609]

@@LaddaSunshine they in some way use you to perpetuate their self hate and lack of moral code.

[@LaddaSunshine]

Narcissism is the absence of love. - Les Carter

[@pyarkaaloo]

@@LaddaSunshine 💯💯💯

[@kristina7901]

I have been alienated as a mother. Never been in trouble. Just hated by their father and there step mom. Im currently talking with my oldest son, but not my daughter. Over five years now. Its a gut wrenching silent killer. Its hard to find peace with not having closure. Yes a funeral you never ever get closure, a kidnapping no one cares about. Your mostly alone, like your stuck in a dark room with everybody in your life laughing at you, accusing you, beating you down. Some advice from me, in my life, my circumstance. Move away! Once there teenagers you cant save them you cant explain to them. You cant help them, if you try. You will be the psycho one. Move away, every once in a while extend your love. This is one of the worst cases of abuse ever. i pray for peace for all in our circumstance, as im still trying to find it trillion of tears later.

[@karishort1891]

Moving away from my abusers saved my life 🙏

[@25718]

My kids came back in their teens, after 10 years of PA and three years of basically no contact! If I would have moved away to try save myself (impossible to flee from those feelings anyway), they would have been dead now. They were a mess from emotional abuse when they came back, still after 13 years they have signs of c-ptsd.

[@recoveringsoul755]

Some kids come to their senses in their 30's I've heard. Not sure I can wait that long

[@gracec1665]

Get into a good church. Have your entire church pray for your family. This is the only things that has helped me. I have been going through for 33 years with my 2 ex's , and a narcissist mother, and a narcissistic sister. I moved away, which really helped.

[@joannelewis3390]

I was too....they come back as soon as they can. With lots of things to say about the Narcissist parent ♥️

[@totalprecisioncarpenter5922]

My sons 9th birthday tomorrow havent saw him in 6 years will never stop loving you son ❤

[@mscraig5147]

❤

[@elizabethmccaffrey4805]

I have not seen mine for 18years! I had a son from my first marriage who sadly tragicly passed away two weeks after his 15 th Birthday I brought him up by my self and his passing was devastating for me! I asked for a double grave as I was wanted to buried whith him when times come, than a few monts later I found my self pregnant I was over the moon and was looking forward to the future my partner than he did not against it. Anyway when our son was born he refused to get involve to share parenting he never ever changed his nappy never fedd him never comforted him or done anything whith. I had to carry on as a single parent he never took any interest in his education when I had a problem with my son in school he refused to acknowledge it he told our son he don't have to learn or study if he don't wanted to this lead my son refusing to obay to the teachers and turned my son against me in every opportunity's. Than when I filed for divorce he brought gifts like Army knife's Samurai sword bayonets' for than 10 years old chiled. I confosticated a lot and took it to the police station my son turned very angry and violent towards me he give him £100 a day just because I couldn't he emptied the bank account. He took the new car we bought a few monts before so I left whith all the bills schoolong paying school buss my son started to skip school than I went with him put him on the buss only for him to pick up our son from the school gate. He took our son out for a drive went up to the hills with him and let our son drive a car while he was filming from the outside driving around in the small hard lay-by he hardly could see out from the staring wheel there was no one to take over if anything goes wrong than when I reported to the police I was physically as verbally abused by my son. When the house been sold he moved in with his father he cutt off all contact with me so I haven't seen him for 18years. I was totally broken and grieving for both my son than when I went to sort out my future I went to investigate my sons grave wanted to know that it is a double grave I found out that the grave was in my ex-husbands name so I got a solicitor to contact my ex offering him to pay for the grave second time, he refused it saying he will live it to my younger son ( who he never meet) after his death. Than a few years latter I made some inquire again and fined that althought his steel a life he transferredthe grave to my younger son who now demanding the money I got out from the house!

[@Annalenalovemusic]

😢❤im crying fir you.. This must stop,and start to treat them like a criminial

[@creatura_orbis_centuria]

That's hard. Knowing how you miss him and communicate all the time and have an open mind of support.

[@User-2cents]

😢

[@patrickkennedy7165]

I've been living with a narcissist , my wife , for 17 years now , only just got an understanding of the condition in the last 6 months . I've been studying all the information available on KZbin to try to understand what's going on . Had the full monty from the love bombing , future faking , mirroring , trauma bonding , separation from my family and friends , then on to the smear campaign to her family , with whom I was very close , now the discard phase and the last thing , I expect , total destruction of all that I am . Through all of this I thought if I just stay strong she'll come back , now I know this isn't going to happen . This clip is the truth and eye opener I needed , she is turning my two girls against me , they are behaving exactly as you say . They are distant from me when my wife is present, as soon as I'm on my own with them they are completely different, free and affectionate. PA is the highest form of abuse , it is unbelievably damaging but not recognized. If it was abuse in the physical form the children would be permanently black and blue . ! .

[@meiw8358]

I have been the same , I just found narcissistic abuse for 20 months. I have been abused by my husband , now I separated from him.

[@gracec1665]

Dude, hold on tight, because it gets much much worse. If you divorce her, she will poison your relationship with your girls, and pretend she has no idea what you're complaining about. The .ore miserable you are or look, the happier your wife will be. I chose to be super happy about everything no matter how bad things got to be. In the final analysis, you will sleep better at night, and she will self-destruct. Your girls will be very confused for many years. Just be there for them. The only way through this, is with faith and prayers.

[@SoulForce_]

I saw my oldest daughter break. I literally saw cracks in her face when het father alienated her from her family there because she was with me. She was 14. Two years she tried to make up with him out of guilt he projected onto her and finally she turned against me to be loyal to him. He made the youngest one wright a letter to the court (she was 12) and since then I am treated as a criminal. Ten years of alienation now and it is used against me in several situations. Twenty years ago I had to flee from him, but I was totally in the dark about narcism, after that 50% 'co' parenting, but never co. I left them 50% of the week alone with him while I had to flee. And I know that the oldest one often came back to me very sad with the feeling that she was going mad. But I thought I was the problem. I also had to withdraw from my own family and found out that friends were also in this dynamic. In the meanwhile his influence reaches most of the people of the town I live in and the enablers are everywhere. So I live isolated and because of my clairsentience I am bearly able to social contact. Sometimes I wonder what does it take for them to snap out of this. I hope you can limit the damage it causes to your children and that they keep their sanity and develop healthy reason. Much strength and love ❤ (sorry for translation)

[@patrickkennedy7165]

@@faciemus5725 it is unbelievable, truly unbelievable what happens . In a way you were lucky to get your children, I say lucky , everything they touch turns to shite , cherish your children . . My narc is doing the parental alienation thing , has my beautiful girls in her grasp , they do acknowledge me but the loyalty to their mother is strong . Stockholm syndrome at play . I'm staying calm and firm and hopefully they will see through the facade.

[@victoriadolton4762]

​@@faciemus5725 Your children are better because their mother is gone. I have a narcissist father and I had always hoped my mother would divorce him. She was afraid to. My best to you and your daughter's. Enjoy a peaceful life now!

[@odette8905]

Two exceptional leading lights in a field so poorly understood by untrained therapists, family and social workers, closed family courts. Thank God for you both. ❤

[@Portia620]

I agree it’s some thing that needs to be addressed!!!

[@hawaiigirl8089]

Closed courts? What does that mean? I never heard of it. tho most all courts & family lawyers ARE woefully Ignorant. Judges are a Liberal lost cause & very ignorant to Family law

[@dominicanietierobert3745]

I wasted 12 years ignoring the Red flags, and not admitting these things Exist is truly not reality, you can't fix a cheater, a Psychopath, or A Narcissist, it's as simple you can get in touch with him. @protech_1448

[@lydiagibas114]

This talk brought me to tears. A release for years of carrying what wasn't mine to carry. Thank you to both of you for all you do to move us towards a healthier mindset.

[@lmd2752]

the feels, me too

[@mirjamhansen2626]

Exactly the same for me !!

[@catherinepatton8699]

What is the point of the narcissistic behavior? Why, what do they want to gain? Why do they create so much fear, hate, anguish what's in it for them and why do they pick on some and not others. I don't understand what they are trying to accomplish l just don't get it. Any ideas please? It sounds sick in mind behavior action. Grazymaking comes to mind but why?

[@mariedropkin59]

They just want to feel like the winner, that the kids love them more. They are finally the preferred one.

[@dominicanietierobert3745]

I wasted 12 years ignoring the Red flags, and not admitting these things Exist is truly not reality, you can't fix a cheater, a Psychopath, or A Narcissist, it's as simple you can get in touch with him. @protech_1448

[@jaynebeard3889]

As time goes on it doesn't get any easier.. Im a broken mess, 8 months on. My son will forever be my 6 yr old.. The pain not watching him play sport, get his first goal, seeing him smile so big at how proud he is.. Our night bed time chats about his day.. His wild imagination.. Smelling him higging him. I will never get these years back.. Im so lost i dont know who i am anymore 😢

[@Wings91]

💔

[@stargazer7341]

My mother did exactly that during her marriage to my dad & more so when she divorced him. My dad had become physically & mentally disabled after a horrific car accident 10 years before my mother left him. You would think that my dad's horrific injuries were enough to draw an ounce of compassion from my mother but instead she chose his weakest moment as the best moment to avenge him & dividing many other family relationships especially between the seven siblings into a "his" & "hers" teams with triangulation & gaslighting tactics 😢

[@username604error5]

OMG .., I don’t know HOW this actually showed up and auto played WTF !!!! As an estranged and disenfranchised FATHER … each day of the past 15 years has been a LIVING HELL

[@k44447]

get a grip already! it has been a while

[@Theantinarc]

NEVER trust a man when claiming Pa. They always claim what they themselves are doing.

[@Lilliofthevale]

My heart goes put to you 😢 May God heal your heart and give you beauty for ashes 🤗

[@sampabiswas5035]

Any solution to this problem. My husband has brainwashed my kids saying I am unstable & a liar.

[@makaylahollywood3677]

I especially love watching two professional men in healing narcissistic abuse- because the original npd was my father. I used to be afraid of men, and now i see the abuse includes females. Thank you both.

[@makaylahollywood3677]

@@encodedinrhythm8943 At least 3 of my SIL's have these traits. I am quite familiar. One sister is a covert sneaky, sociopath.😉

[@MerryWiddow1]

NO REGRETS. I have waited decades for this. Finally, my intuitive decision has been confirmed by two gifted professionals. If I divorced my covert, alcoholic, drug-dependent, narcissistic husband, I would have endangered my son and all I had worked for and depended upon. I knew he would do everything within his power to destroy my business, my finances, and, most importantly my son. Aside from the obvious psychological damage, I feared he could/would injure or kill him while intoxicated driving. Fortunately for me, his attachment style was avoidant. So for fifteen years, I told myself, "You have a wonderful; son, a thriving career, and a beautiful home, excellent health, hobbies, and a vibrant spiritual life. So what if ya didn't knock it out of the park choosing a mate. Life ain't perfect. And ya need to protect your child." And it worked. He passed away twenty years ago from his self-abusive lifestyle. And my son and I have lived happily ever after. But I never received exterior validation for my decision until I watched your video. Thank you so much.

[@Theantinarc]

I wish I was as smart as you. The torture is worst when you leave.

[@clairedebbs9972]

I admire your commitment to your son and yourself! I deeply admire what you have achieved!

[@bethharvey5170]

Same scenario- my son and I are left together due to my son seeing how destructive and emotionally distant his alcoholic, covert narc dad is. I try to remember that I had no way of understanding narcissism at the time I agreed to marry my ex. When you know better, you do better.

[@chrysalis72]

This is me, 😢 I love my son but the parental alienation was so powerful and the brainwashing,I fear I've lost him forever.

[@chrysalis72]

Just read the comments below and that's my life too. Loved my child, I had to view kidnap Infront of my eyes daily and I was so broken down I was totally unable to defend myself.

[@pamelaclark1283]

I would appreciate a conversation from you two about adult children estranged from their parents. This, too, is an epidemic and plague on our nation. 3 of my 4 children have decided to not interact with me...and I find this everywhere! With buzz words..boundaries, toxic, etc.

[@carolalvarez3925]

Same.. 😢

[@DeportedDomingo]

Is there a common denominator?

[@kristinyoung2815]

​@@DeportedDomingoSocial media

[@DeportedDomingo]

@@kristinyoung2815 thats crazy i thought they have the same mom

[@kellynywneing]

This is why you are all alienated. You never take responsibility. You never change.

[@therange4033]

I am going to pin this on my Facebook in the hope my grown kids understand what happened. They just hate me because dad said so.

[@kimhumiston2686]

For your sanity and your health you need to disconnect from the narcissist. Being around them is so toxic and exhausting!

[@Chris-kp7pq]

There is now doubt...your are 100% correct. Go back to the good advice from the good school teacher about the school bully who would pull your younger family asside, call you a bad person for no reason other then to pick a fight with you, tell you could see your younger family if you paid up, tried to recrute your family to their bully side, LET THE SCHOOL PRINCIPAL HANDLE THAT BULLY... STAY AWAY FROM THE HORRIFIC ABUSIVE BULLY, DON'T GO AROUND THAT BULLY WHO IS TARGETTING YOU, DO NOT LOOK AT THE BULLY...DO NOT COMMUNICATE WITH THAT BULLY....IGNORE, IGNORE, IGNORE THAT BULLY.....let the peace keeper do their job. If that school principal does not stop the bullying, tell the state department of education that principal needs to lose their license in failure to protect children and parents from bully abuse! Now when it comes to adult bullying...think all that in perspective of the bully parent, the judge either doing their job to protect the children and innocent parent, or the state needing notiifed of the horrific uncivil family law judge allowing narcistic parenting over love, care and share proper parenting!

[@DonnaMayStanish]

kimhumiston2686 - 💯🎯

[@MsK-xm7vw]

I used to look up Parent Alienation 20 years ago, long before I learned about Narcissism. The problem was, and still is, only talked about in relation to parent vs. parent. Always. I was a single mother with a severely covert narcissistic mother. She had both the power and money to destroy me, and her goal in life seemed impossible to describe to anyone; it was to destroy me and take my children. I sacrificed everything in order to protect us from her; but, even lawyers would say that Parent Alienation was hard to litigate and prove when it was two parents. Years have passed, and a lot of damage to both my children and myself; but as I’ve met others, I’ve learned that this is not uncommon with narcissistic parents and the boundaries in relation to their grandchildren. I think going forward, it would be wonderful to see more information on the grandparents/grandchildren alienation. I know it sounds crazy, but it does happen. More than we think. 😢

[@catherinepatton8699]

Yhat is what l am talking about why? What's in it for someone to behave that way? Accomplish what? What's the point? When all is said and done. Very confusing to me.

[@dawnbaggett3716]

I’ve had it happen by my mother too, and also other “flying monkeys”. Yet she claims I kept her grandchildren from her (projecting).

[@MsK-xm7vw]

@@dawnbaggett3716 ❤️

[@debracappiccille6485]

Yes it does. I belong to a group. It’s widespread.

[@penne999]

yes

[@BRITISHANDPROUD2023]

Yep both my parents were Narcissists and one was the abuser , one the enabler. They left me behind on big holidays, with my grandfather thankfully, he was my saving grace , he knew I was different, but aspurges syndrome wasn't a thing in the seventies. I used to hear my parents from a young age saying such horrible things about me. Constantly chastised for not being academic, athletic, team playing golden child like my sister who is neuro typical. Its taken me year's to begin to heal , animals have always been a constant source of solace for me, still are , but the best thing I ever did was to go no contact at 32 , I'm now 48 , best thing I ever did , and moved county for good measure. Thanks guys . One ❤

[@backfromthedarkalive]

Sending you love ❤️

[@catherinepatton8699]

I am happy for you, you sound smart, clear, loving l absolutely love animals also they can be so funny l am happy you have them they don't judge my little cat lives to snuggle and watch utube animat cartoons, l will say video time there she sits waiting for her time with a mouse in the house clawing at ath mouse running across the screen then a bird will chime in Dolly, my cat starts to chirp and the show is on the road, great fun. Be well, you sound like a nice friend.

[@BRITISHANDPROUD2023]

@@backfromthedarkalive right back at you ❤

[@BRITISHANDPROUD2023]

@@catherinepatton8699 Thank you, you are very kind . What a sweet cat you have , bless her ❤. Life without animals 😢 wouldn't be a life . One ❤

[@elennyfication]

Heartbreaking hearing this 💔 😢

[@agapelove1111]

I have 3 children, who are now adults that I haven't seen in 14 years... Thank you for this video!

[@analiefernandez1987]

I can't even finish watching this! It's very triggering to me! All I did was loving this guy.

[@kadancelionheart]

same here. i hope you are continuing to heal.

[@janiegomez7547]

My ex was abusive both mentally and physically to me. When I was finally able to leave him I did not try to true our children against him. Why? Because children see themselves as part of each parent. To teach them to hate their dad would be teaching them to hate a part of themselves. I had this knowledge because my mother tried to get us to hate our dad when they divorced. Really an awful idea.

[@marieldavison5121]

Team Healthy Member here ~ Luv you Dr C!🙂🐶 I raised two step kids, grown now, alcoholic mother so we had custody. I was conscientious, home and hearth parent, swimming lessons, gymnastics, pool so kid's friends were open door welcome. I put my heart and soul into the step kids ~ up late at night for fevers vomiting, dentists appointments, dr appointments, parent teacher interviews, school trips helping with homework etc. I was completely unprepared for what would happen when the kids were teenagers and could now serve as "buddies" to their mother. (since they no longer needed the care they did when the "OBJECTS" were younger. My term by the way was disconnected appendages since she just didn't seem to care about them. There is no word to describe the pain one feels when the kids turn on you for a parent that couldn't and wouldn't take care of them and chose a cocaine fueled lifestyle with her boyfriend instead. No Words! This is triggering but helpful in my understanding and healing. (The kids are in their 40's and it still hurts) Thankyou Dr C & Ross much appreciated.

[@cynthiafortier2540]

I understand your pain, but when my dad remarried after the divorce, my dad's wife was ONLY my dad's wife. At sixteen she was just my dad's wife, and at 57 she is just my dad's wife. I would have preferred to have my parents together. Even though my dad was a narc, I still loved him, though now I DONT love my abuser, and don't want anything to do with him.

[@marieldavison5121]

@@cynthiafortier2540 Your situation sounds tough & exclusionary. I met my step kids at 3 & 5 so I threw myself into it. There's been healing for us so I do see my step kids and still love them. But the sabotage by their mother (turning to them after an arrest) was awful just awful. Take good care.

[@TruthAlways-ss6px]

I am heartbroken and at the same time so angry that so many of us are living this hell. Those who are not affected can't begin to comprehend the torture of losing your child to parental alienation. I was not heard, I was not believed so I started recording phone calls. I captured text messages. I finally had proof of what the narcissist was doing. I tried to show it to the counselor but the narcissist was so manipulative; he had already gotten to her and she refused to read the text messages or listen to the audios! I am not sure what the law is when it comes to sharing this type of evidence online but I wish I could post it so that those mental health professionals who disregard the alienated parent, who fail our children and end up making things worse can be confronted with the evidence: this is what PA sounds like. It is real!

[@Suzu52]

I experienced this when my sons were young....I knew it was wrong and dysfunctional then, but I did not have the understanding then....my ex " counter parented, not co parented....boy was I gaslit( along with my sons) that I was the problem...took ME decades to find out what covert narcissism is... ...it definitely had long lasting effects on my relationships with my sons ....and they still do not know who their father truly is...

[@sunshinecompany1]

Exactly! !!

[@lalani888ARTblue]

🎯Boom! I know exactly what you're saying... Completely understand 💌

[@patriciaalbertson5183]

Sounds like my life

[@gerger5670]

It really destroys the child, sad to watch when there is nothing I can do . I have to build myself back , and be strong because it’s going to be a hard fall.

[@Phoenix_Coaching]

It's the most heartbreaking thing. I feel like my child has died! I feel so heartbroken and devastated.

[@rebeccahanson9864]

It's horrible when you are the grandmother and you see this happening. I pray for my grandchildren and I will never stop praying for them. They are alienated by their mom. Its very sad. I pray for her too.

[@rosiemckinney1061]

We 4 siblings were abused with parental alienation. Both parents spoke ugly of each other. My dad kidnapped us. Then they got back together, then they fought, then Dad took the 2 youngest away. The courts settled on split custody with exchange visitation summer and Christmas. I saw my siblings 4 afternoons a year. My dad would write how much he loved us but negated it by saying something negative about Mom.My covert mom constantly played the victim, embellishing this horrible story more and more. I wish they both and we 4 all could have had good therapy back in the 1960s. I cared for her her last years yearning for her to honor me and tell me she loves me. It was after her death that I wake up to the abuse I have suffered and learn about the effects of SLD. Thank you for helping us heal our trauma.

[@HeartOfTheSource]

Some narcissists will scream and accuse a good parent of parental alienation when a non narcissistic parent is attempting to protect their child from narcissistic abuse. Short of being granted a protection order, which requires some kind of proof that the child is indeed in danger, the responsible non abusive parent is then forced usually by the courts and the can't protect the child(ren) while they might be getting abused and neglected while with the abusive parent. That's the worst abuse to the child as far as I'm concerned. Such helplessness hoping your child isn't going to be harmed while away from you.

[@annalynn9325]

In my family, a generational problem. It’s invisible to essentially everyone. Unless you experience it first-hand. Family courts are part of the problem

[@lindabond7964]

Here in England there is a Bill which will become Law . It says that denying children contact with their parent is child abuse

[@rosalvabooksllc354]

Good (except in case of violence or real abuse).

[@dixiewade8373]

Be careful, many times the abuser will use a law like that to victimize a protective parent.

[@KarenMazola]

❤

[@ExpectingFitness]

What if a parent is abusive… a client of mine whose narc hubby divorced her… was wealthy but took all $ from her including car and bought off the CPS and judge even though they knew he was sexually abusing their 3 yr old. He still got 50/50 custody…

[@PJAndersson733]

My mother did this with my father. I never knew it had a name. My father was the one I was closest to. When they divorced she took my sister and I across country never to see him again. We moved into my mother’s family of narcissistic and I became the scapegoat. They tried to make me hate my father. My father didn’t know where we were for an entire year or two. Even after he knew we weren’t allowed to see him for many years after that. I knew they were lying about him. 15 years after that we reconnected but our relationship will never be the same. We both have lots of fears. I just pray we can both get over them before it’s too late. He has another narc in his life very close to him that’s exactly like my mother and she does NOT want him having anything! I’ve realized my dad is just like me. Or I’m like him. They tried to make him look like a sociopath & narcissist but like I’ve learned from my own abuse from my narcissistic mother, it’s them! Or rather, it’s her. I only am realizing this because my eyes have been opened through my own narc abuse from specifically my mother but also my grandmother and sister. In a way my mind is still blown. After all these years of wondering what the true story was, I’ve figured it out and it’s like watching the end of a psychological thriller with a twist at the end you never suspected!

[@rondasparks]

Most courts or judges will not let a mother move especially if your dad had visitation rights .

[@rondasparks]

He should have filed kidnapping charges on her !

[@lindajanke6194]

I grew up in a situation where there was no healthy parent and an abusive, adopted older sibling. My father was an alcoholic but it wasn't obvious. He was physically abusive to my mother, in front of me, though rarely hit me. However, he set up such a toxic atmosphere in our home that my brother felt free to sexually and physically abuse me. My mother had 4 separate personalities and I believe was narcissistic as well. She depended on me for emotional support, yet physically abused me. My point is that these situations are not usually between a mentally healthy parent and one who is not. I survived all this garbage, but at 73, I have many days when I am still in survival mode.

[@adrianlatracejr]

"Narcissism is the absence of love… Narcissism is the loss of integrity.” Very enlightening discussion here. Thanks for posting it.

[@rmp9417]

Hmm fantastic to find and learn! Hospitalized myself 4 times bewildered.. at 65 here it is!! Thank ya'll 🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉

[@demigaines5644]

I Am So Looking Forward To This I Have My Laptop 💻 Set I’m A Victim Of Narcissistic Abuse Horrific Emotional Abuse .You Both Have Helped ME Tremendously In Overcoming Narcissistic Abuse ..

[@DanielSRosehill]

Good to see men talking about narcissistic abuse for a change!

[@vkkkk222]

I m not just grateful for this video but also to read all the comments and see that I m not alone in this torment.

[@dc9291]

when all is said and done. It is best to just end it - walk away and discover what you missed raising your child. To be an adult w/o that much responsibility is a blessing. First it hearts and you feel like death warmed over, then you fly.

[@elvansavkl7972]

I love Doctor Lee Carter.He is like a good caring friend .Everything he says the stuff I have been experiencing all my life.And he is clarify the air .And I know that what I heard what I experienced are real.

[@LR-yu3mx]

So is Ross Rosenburg. They both are such genuine, caring teachers. I first learnt about narcissism and SLD from the kind est psychologist I ever knew, Ross.

[@pamelakremer7344]

My ex attempted to turn my kids against me, but they witnessed his cheating and lies, his rage and control. They seek his love cautiously. He says I turned them against him. Exactly the opposite. I taught them to love him despite the abuse. They have anger at me for allowing his behavior and gaslighting. Therapy for everyone, except the one who caused ALOT of pain.

[@elizabethy2912]

I'm in sorta the same. Mine is a covert narc. I'm trying to get free- my youngest daughter was disowned by him, and she's in recovery. She's opened my eyes to this new diagnosis. Super controlling, but very nice and seemingly empathetic. So confusing, and terrible to realize the full dysfunctionality of our home. I don't want to hurt him- he's had enough of that, but I need to be free to be Me, not what he defines me as. The manipulation and gaslighting, and second-guessing, are so destructive.

[@Randomcliff01]

What a great mother to teach them compassion and therefore love fir their flawed father. They will be better parents and grandparents because of you.

[@catherinepatton8699]

Why would you do that to little children? They are children let children be if there are problems with an x let it be these children will soon be adults they can figure things out. Confused l am.

[@charshill2978]

​@@catherinepatton8699 with a narc ex and parent, letting it be is not an option, they won't let it be an option. If you freeze them out, you're the bad one, if you let them see the kids, they screw with the kids heads. You have to watch your work be undone, watch them accuse you while they paint a false picture of themselves. The only chink in their armour is their stupidity and their complete lack of realisation that they can't operate above the law.

[@suepoet]

You both are so genuine and passionate about educating others. Thank you for this informative video.

[@astridheddema244]

The discription you both give about Narcissist also explanes why there are so many of them as political leaders and in other high positions in the world.. To reach that positions in many cases you have to be ruthless, have a lack off empathy, feel you are entitled to do what you do etc..

[@elwoodzo]

Hey! It’s Dr Carter! Hurray! You guys have both really helped me find level ground in life and heal. Thank you both so much ❤❤❤

[@cynthiafortier2540]

Oh my gosh, you two together??? Best day ever!! Thanks boys!!

[@julianterris]

From the Narcissist's point of view, it's "the perfect crime" ~because the victim/alienated parent (and yes, the children are always victims too) has no proof that they've been character assassinated -other than the fact that their child/children will not communicate with them.

[@JulietMartin2022]

My narc mother’s abuse has destroyed all five of my siblings. We all suffer from lifelong self love deficiency. Her encouragement of sibling rivalry fabricated such infighting that it destroyed our whole family. Her unquenchable need for adoration kept us all vying for acceptance which was beyond sparsely granted. Since our father’s death over ten years ago, my mother has successfully alienated all of us.

[@nygrl6102]

My narcissistic son has alienated my other two kids from me. His accusations and lies have destroyed my family. It took a long time to get over the pain of losing all my children.

[@tinawisdom1171]

I need to hear this I'm a Survivor of double NDT.

[@bobrijs8329]

Most people/parents who fall into that category find attachment a heavy emotional burden and make them feel unbearable. So they do everything they can to solve that unbearable feeling, but that means they ensure that the other no longer has the need to arouse that feeling in them, so in children, morale is lowered to such an extent that that distance does all attachment feelings desires needs so that this piece of moral self-worth is broken. The right to be yourself, to have feelings, to express feelings, to possess emotions, to express emotions, to talk about your own authentic feelings and emotions and those of another is forbidden by that (central) inner conflict of the parent. So when the relation is broken the alienating parent does everything to break the relationship between the child and other parent, because the child must adapt to those inner conflicts of the alienating parent, and that is impossible when the other parent is in the childs life. The child can't choose between a hostile climate and a supportive climate is vital when a child must adapt to the inner conflicts of the alienating parent and accept that it never changes. That is not possible when the supportive parent is in the picture and is a threat to the alienating parent, but also the child becomes a threat to the alienating parent because the alienating parent is afraid that the child tells other people of the hostile behavior of the parent. That is why the alienating parent self-created and does everything that the child keeps his/her mouth shut. And also a good reason that the other parent must be destroyed and cut off into oblivion for self-prevention! Everyone must addapt to those selfdestructive inner conflicts of the alienating parent! That is the true nature of Parental Alienation!

[@alonsoquixano]

Thank you to both, gentlemen. I have books written by each of you and they have been helpful. I have had zero contact with 4 children since Christmas, 1998. My experiences are extremely close to your descriptions in the video.

[@sheilasmith1109]

I have not listened to this yet, but I was looking for How an adult child FEELS when their family has been SO TOXIC that they had to alienate themselves from the toxic parent(s) and siblings, after DECADES of being abused as the familie's designated Scapegoat! We ALSO have feelings! Alienation in this respect, is /was the best and only HEALTHY thing to do! Id love to hear back regarding this subject, please!

[@roykight6923]

These men are heroes!

[@lastminutejen]

Both of you are absolutely legends. Literally saving & changing lives. Not all heroes wear capes 🙏🏻🤍🙏🏻

[@jimbyrne8281]

Hi and thank you for this topic. Long story short I was the scapegoat and this trauma followed me through my dad's family 2 marriages until I was broke at 55 I'm going on 59 now broke beyond belief most horrible time ever but the path healing Understanding generational trauma, family systems, narcissistic abuse and addicted to healing all this is the silver lining after realizing it was all projected by underdeveloped emotionally immature children. My goal is to stand in truth being mindful and trying to find a calm without reaction even when someone is totally disregulated. Healing and boundaries without trauma response is becoming more possible and you've covered so much and what a blessing to have two pioneers leading and educating. So grateful 🙏 Great job!

[@catherinepatton8699]

That response helps some thanks

[@MsSullivan12]

I am going through this right now, I’m not prefect and suffer from ptsd, bpd, adhd and childhood trauma and depression but I’m trying to raise a respectful decent 14 yrs old daughter

[@OilCanHarry2U]

❤ Keep loving your daughter.

[@hartytech]

Bravo on all fronts. It will be nearly impossible without external support from some professionals. I honour you on your journey, and the understanding of self, and stopping the replication is admirable.

[@lilpoohbear653]

grown kids also alienate their parents...or only call their parents when they want something...it is heartbreaking

[@laurenneloms7953]

Two of my favorite KZbinrs sharing their knowledge with us🎉 What a treat!

[@LR-yu3mx]

Mine too! ♥️

[@claudiabTV]

Agreed!❤❤❤

[@patriciafry8634]

I would put forth the idea that there is a second scenario: that golden children hit the adult world, and don’t always “win” out there, once away from the validation of their childhood environment-so their unrealized entitlement leads to all sorts of Nic abuse by them.

[@Prometheuspredator]

Oh boy how familiar I am with this. Golden child malignant narcissist youngest brother. Spoiled brat and enabled his entire life. Now, he is dangerous and deadly. He is the "Dark Triad."

[@Dina-ng9gf]

And or have their own kids give them a taste of their own medicine

[@AvocadoRoyalty]

It’s taken me 34 years to learn what was happening to me & all the manipulative games & brainwashing my ex & his wife successfully accomplished with my children & unfortunately the other part of PA that is very delicate to talk about is when your child has inherited the same personality that the ex has & is also a narcissist, this makes the whole situation so complicated that it’s beyond any possibility of repair. & then I also have learned & witnessed a form of PA happens even when parents are living in the same home for example my husband’s family where the mommy develops an enmeshed relationship with the sons & she constructed an alienated relationship with their father & they are so brainwashed & believe that anything that wasn’t perfect in their lives was because of their father & everything good in their lives is because of their mommy & it’s weird listening to them talking about this because it’s absurd that they could possibly believe this & seriously they harbor a seething bitterness against the father that’s not deserved & they worship the mommy like a god & I’m still learning about PA & all it’s facets & the unfortunate thing is the children suffer the most in these situations.

[@catherinepatton8699]

My good God, this sounds so sick so impossible to clear up years of experience of emotional pain. What do the perpetrators want? What and why do they do things you describe they could say what's on their mind from the get go so why generational games? Would they feel better if you were dead? What do they want? What are they saying in an indirect way? What outcome are they looking for? Happiness? Satisfaction,? What is the point of it all? ??????strange way to get needs met if that's the point. I am exasperated and troubled at the same time.

[@lastthingsministry]

@@catherinepatton8699 personally I think this is a spiritual war Catherine. I actually now think Narcissists are spiritually possessed by demons and this is a war against the human family to break families down. Satan does the same slander campaign against God throughout society, throughout history. If you understand that there is an unseen war waging around us that we are drawn into, it all makes sense. Satan hates family as it was instituted by God. Every human being that is saved, replaces a fallen angel. Satan has found the best way to alienate families from each other and also God is to get one member of the family and possess them. That person gets married, has children and creates a cult around themselves. When a narc is worshipped in a family (or feared) they get supply (which is a rush of dopamine to their zombie like emotional state) at the same time the demon gets worshipped instead of God. If you challenge this 'flow' of fear and worship of the narcissist in the family cult then you become scapegoated and victimised. Their goal is to either be worshipped or feared, if you stop given them either of these two things then it kills them. When denied both for a long time they collapse into decomposition. At this point they may commit suicide. I would never push a Narcissist to do this (collapse) as I believe this is just as evil. I think the best is no contact or low contact with enforced boundaries. I am kind with my Narc dad but do not have any illusions and see through love bombing, grooming and triangulation. I don't worship him or fear him. I try to treat him with the same decency and respect as anyone else but I call him out when he goes too far. If he is moaning, I try to lead him to more useful optimistic thinking but I will call him out when he is abusive. It is really hard and I have had huge rows with him even recently due to his treatment of myself and my mother. You see if they don't get a reaction, good or bad, they ramp up the abuse until you snap. They live for supply and will keep torturing you until you give it, either worship or fear (pain). You have to give them an emotion to show they are important. The cannot take apathy, that is the only thing they cannot take. The reason 'grey rock' works is because you are pretending to have catatonia or major depression when you grey rock them. The problem with this is that grey rock leads to real depression! Yes a narcissist will go after other supply when you are depressed but no-one wants to have to be broken down to be left alone. I have found my Christian faith to be the biggest weapon and protection against narcissism. I don't fear them, or worship them and I don't need to grey rock them and go into a depression. I can be myself and be fearless about it. I can even show love to my Narc father, the love he fails to give anyone or receives from anyone as worship that is given through fear is not true love.

[@James-bc2oh]

Alot of the time it's a case of theirs one good parent one bad parent,the bad parent drills alot of lies and make up stuff about the good parent,the good parents got morals and standards and bad parents getting the kids to break every rule that you've put in place, eventually your kids turn against you because you've got rule's,the bad parent gets all the attention because they've no rules ,my kids are narcissistic because of this scenario no boundaries no morals and probably because I left ,couldn't live like their mum,

[@akai.christo]

Beautiful explanation♥️🙏🔥 Thank you to both of you!! Wish you and everybody here a beautiful day and lots of healing vibes!! 💪🙂✌️

[@jmj1852]

Thank you! You as well

[@JackieSuz91763]

Great lesson gentlemen! I would add aunts and grandmas to these parental abuse issues - i beleive family members have thrown me under ye ole bus (have bus tracks on my back as evidence) to my adult children. Evil wicked world we live in. All jealousy smh

[@reneehouser2925]

Alienation of affection pops right up in my predictive text- it's a crime in several states... Yes, it is. A criminal offense... & you're not alone. It happens between spouses, parent/child & grandparent relationships. It getting worse & may God help us all 🙏🙏🙏

[@carfincap]

Gross

[@annekenney6914]

My narcissistic spouse alienated my youngest daughter from me. He claims that I have to fix it, which is crazy because he caused it. He wants me to try, but in the background I know he will still be pulling the strings with her and causing strife. Us having a loving relationship threatens him. Yes, he sees her as an object, his pawn, and he knows my children are everything to me. The narcissistic injury - 'You are leaving me, well I'll show you!' But now I'm taking a break from interacting with my daughter because of all of the disrespect and deceitfulness from the both of them. My daughter is 25 and at this stage she needs to un-brainwash herself in order for me to have a relationship with her. I've tried to have a relationship with her and have cried so many tears, but I can't continue with this futile attempt of having a normal relationship with her.

[@KiKi-te9yd]

I see this exact thing happening between my ex, his ex wife and their tween (now early teen) daughter. He drove a wedge Between mother and daughter. Daughter thinks it is great as she is the special important amd spoiled one. I see the daughter becoming a narc like her father. Its truly sad how the other parent can 'take' your own child from you

[@ms.bubblestheclown1681]

I do not know 😢what to do 😢

[@jaye3848]

EXACTLY 💯 % What we r going thru right now....watching our daughter be so sick, entrapped, brainwashed with a Narcissist NARCISSIST FAMILY....evil secrets, pillars of the community and church...😢

[@rondasparks]

You need to show her videos of Dr Ramani regarding Narcissists and she will surely understand if she is 25 years old .

[@rondasparks]

@@KiKi-te9yd again , show your daughter videos on line if Narcissist traits , google Dr Ramani or show her any on line and she will understand what's going on with her dad .

[@barbarabagatin8962]

Thank you for your this live Dr. Ross Rosenberg.

[@RossRosenberg]

You are very welcome!

[@barbarabagatin8962]

@@RossRosenberg thanks again fab live as always Dr.!

[@maryfarrell9439]

I found absolutely zero support from the law, therapists and mediators. The harm done to my children will take them their whole adult lives to undo. I was told by lawyers and mediators that no judge will care…if the father isn’t physically or sexually abusing them then there’s nothing to be done. Those people were not doing their jobs

[@elainecooper1305]

My husband, whom I believe is a covert narcissist and I have 4 children together. We are empty nesters. I just recently after 35 years of marriage discovered the secrets and the lies my husband has been keeping and am trying to leave the marriage. My question is this: 2 of our 4 children will no longer speak to anyone in the family. In fact they believe that I am the problem and they no longer want to be in my presence. One of the distant children told me " I love you Mom, but I cannot be around you". I may have been an enabler while raising 4 children....... I felt like a single parent a lot of the time, I thought I was doing all I could to show unconditional love but it was taken as something else I guess. Is it possible my husband might have undermined my personality and my intentions throughout those 35 years?

[@ReneeFit]

I am so sorry. I hope someone replies to you that can help you. I can see from your paragraph that you are not the problem. it’s possible that your children are under the spell of a manipulator. They will change when he does to them what he has done to you. It can’t be helped. They do it to everyone.

[@cynthiafortier2540]

Yes yes, and yes!!!!!!!!!!

[@cynthiafortier2540]

@@ReneeFit great reply!! Until one is awakened, nothing can be done!!

[@jeanettetumminia7807]

Not possible….it is likely!

[@gigiarmany]

absolutely..that's exactly what covert narcissists do..lie, manipulate, smear campaign & deny

[@TWILLIE639]

I tried very hard to never denigrate my ex husband or let anyone else do so in front of our children. People don’t realize how that can make a child feel bad about themselves. It’s been 40 years since we divorced and he recently passed away. I’m about to fly out west to help my adult daughter with the funeral home arrangements and gather his belongings. I never stood in their way of loving each other.

[@izawaniek2568]

Thank you for a very helpful, supportive and extremely important video you have created Gentlemen. PA is an absolutely horrific experience to go through. You loose your child and it is happening in front of your eyes, the pain and grief are undescribable. The way through this is to continue to love your child to the best of your abilities and pray that one day they will come back to you. God bless you❤

[@lastthingsministry]

God bless you too. I was a scapegoated child. I am trying to forgive and love my Narcissistic dad. It is not easy but knowing that he doesn't know what love is or what it feels like, spurs me on to show him Jesus' love. His only chance of recovery is salvation.

[@Hislittlelamb]

I was both. My ex joined a cult that labeled me as a Suppressive Person (SP) & greatly involved in ending our marriage. I was targeted by him & the group, my reputation destroyed, outright lies were told based solely on his fears, speculations or some past life memory between us he’d uncovered. I was greatly concerned about our young children and researched this group so as to best defend our children. That motherly protection was twisted by my ex into bigoted discrimination threatening to get this organization’s million $$ lawyers involved in our divorce/custody. No local Family Law attorneys wanted to touch that with a 10’ pole and I was silenced, seen as the offender. He won custody, splitting up our family. I came from a split family. My parents never divorced but there was split loyalty between our mom (negligent, manipulative, nagging, cruel) and our dad (military, away a lot, henpecked enabler). I was the only one to stand with my dad against mom. I despised the way she constantly cut him down over the minutest thing he did, “had he showered?”, “didn’t he wear that same shirt or tie last time?” or complain how much work it is for her to clean his scalp oil off their pillowcases, the smell of his feet, and other TMI a kid should never hear about their parent. I vowed never to be like her. Unfortunately I chose my dad’s role of passive, compliant, people pleasing, enabler and married a Grandiose Narcissist vs my Covert Narcissist mother. In the end he fit better with my family of origin than I ever did.

[@heatherharrison4017]

I know this too well, 20 years after divorce,, 18 years of parental alienation, thousands of dollars spent going to court to prove it and my ex got a 365 days in jail; suspended; based off his faithful compliance w me. And I got slapped with a 30,000 back child support.... I'm tired of it it has literally exhausted me in this life. I grew up w a narcissist mother that pushed me to marry my ex when I was 17. Now in my 40's I'm still battling my ex with three cases now in court... I just want peace and wanted to be a mother to my children..... And now I will never have a relationship with my children bc they was brainwashed extensively against me

[@karenparkinson8656]

I think it's important to also talk about kids that don't want to go to a parent who is abusive ( emotionally and or physically). There are parents who are abusive (some narcissistic) who claim parental alienation when it's actually estrangement. The narcissistic parent uses this claim to take the children away from the healthy parent through the courts and the PA industry.

[@rondasparks]

My attorney said to take them to a psychiatrist and use the documentation to take them back to court !

[@JesusChristLovesYouEternally]

I’m sorry you’re going through this. I’m praying for a good outcome for you and your kids in Jesus name! ❤

[@ISABEL-HM]

Thank you so much!!!

[@robertturner1308]

Glad you are both discussing this awful problem. As a targeted parent I know how painful this is. Thanks for raising awareness of parental alienation!

[@kathyingram3061]

~I havent gone 'no contact' with my family, cuz it would be even more painful~Instead im constantly hurt & upset by each incident that reminds me of how they feel about me, and why i was so traumatized as a child~

[@rondasparks]

You are getting hurt and upset anyway and no contact will free you from all of it .

[@kathyingram3061]

@@rondasparks ~Its hard to say 'if', but cutting my Mom off would have taken its toll on me in other ways~Its a lose-lose situation~

[@AntoinetteMPetty]

You, Dr Carter, you are the reason I am free from my mother's grasp of narcissistic games. I just want to thank you from my heart. You saved my life 😢👏🏿💐👍🏾

[@christineplaton3048]

So vital to see the comraderie. You each have very important angles for us to consider. It takes a village to raise a child. It takes peer influence and a caring mental health community to heal from trauma.

[@shantris4883]

So very true ❤️🙏🇨🇦🕯️⚖️.

[@lauracoussens6207]

Thank you so much for tackling this evil. You know the narcissist does not know how to really truly love when they go to these lengths to cause so much deep pain. I'm still waiting to reconnect with my young adult children, especially my daughter. There has to be ways to connect with their hearts so that they understand how much they are cherished and loved...and how important it is for families to stay connected.

[@hArtyTruffle]

This happened to my children. It’s such a destructive behaviour. We’re all still so badly affected by his narcissism. It’s heartbreaking.

[@jacquelinefroehle3583]

That was done to me...a slow and methodical process. When the kids were very young he lost his job. He was at home and angry that our toddlers were calling me Mommy. He said it was insane and they had to call me " Mother "...they were afraid and I felt sick and confused being around him and the rules he made up for me and the kids. I had no ideas what narcissism was...Now the kids are 38 and 41...they hate each other. They believe I am a 72 year old slave that must obey them. They behave like their abusive dad. They are pathological liars and their dad taught them that lying is good. I moved far away and I can't try any longer.

[@tinaspinks5402]

This happened to me 16 yrs ago and I got alienated from my kids 😢

[@cynthiafortier2540]

As an adult, yes Dr Carter, it's pain in the adult, cripes it's pain

[@Danette8206]

Self love deficit is spot on

[@nath1284]

My child and I are living this. It is like he now exists in another dimension of his father's making. Words can't describe the pain of being a mother deprived of the opportunity to parent her child at the hands of a very sick family, not just his father. My heart goes out to all others experiencing this too. We do not deserve to be brushed aside by a broken system that enables this to go on. Stay strong any way you can and take care of yourselves. Our kids need us to keep it together and be healthy for them. We can still be growing as parents and humans. Never give up on them ❤

[@dominicanietierobert3745]

I wasted 12 years ignoring the Red flags, and not admitting these things Exist is truly not reality, you can't fix a cheater, a Psychopath, or A Narcissist, it's as simple you can get in touch with him. @protech_1448

[@fieryangel1977]

Thank you… I needed to hear this. 🙏🏻 From one brokenhearted💔 Mama, to another. 🤗💜❤️‍🩹