Ruining World War II with Bad Translations

I took Wikipedia’s Timeline of World War 2 and ran it through Google Translate using languages with the worst translation quality. Enjoy this adventure through WW2 darkest timeline.
MUSIC:
Axis Theme - Hearts of Iron IV
March of the Black Boots - Company of Heroes (Songs of the Front)
Rap - Wolfenstein 3D
Communist America - Hearts of Iron IV
America the Beautiful - Civilization V
Slaughter - Battlefield 1942
Bombing Them - Hearts of Iron III
Battleground - Medal of Honour Pacific Assault
The Final Frontier - Hearts of Iron IV
Main Theme - Red Orchestra 2 Heroes of Stalingrad
Main Theme - Medal of Honour Allied Assault
The Trial - Chrono Trigger
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[@starcereal]

"March 11th: British food" Truly one of the most catastrophic events of WW2

[@SkyHighSkylar]

I mean, the British still eat like the Germans are flying overhead 😂

[@Hortifox_the_gardener]

@@SkyHighSkylar - and somehow they are happy with their beans and toast. Also the hundreds of varieties of cheese they had before never returned 😥 I never understood the rationale behind only allowing cheddar and chester production. It's not like that is somehow more efficient than making blue cheese.

[@tbgng]

@@Hortifox_the_gardener i think we here in britain have better food than people think

[@vaultdweller1386]

@@tbgng Only if you include Wales and Scotland if we're just talking England then maybe not.

[@tbgng]

@@vaultdweller1386 Well actually, England has the 29th ranked best cuisine. Out of 190 something countries, I'd say that's pretty good

[@my_thy]

the fact that is HE is both a reaccuring character and has the most coherent storyline is hillarious

[@Hand-in-Shot_Productions]

Indeed! He was sent to Germany, won the Battle of Britain, went to Africa, became King of Crete, and led a French Revolution in Estonia... and that's more coherent than most of the other people here!

[@naaat]

​@@Hand-in-Shot_Productionssounds like a legit historical character from the crusades

[@vukstankovic8786]

HE!

[@VideoBee_YT]

HE shall lead us to victory!

[@MDP1702]

@@Hand-in-Shot_Productions You can really make a book series of this, with each of these things mentioned its own book 😂

[@TastyReal]

I swear the stories of HE are so insane an entire novel could be written

[@foxishere9158]

do it

[@The_whales]

Who could he be referring too? Gordon freeman? Doom guy? We will never know the real identity of HE

[@kingkongwrong7822]

A modern addition to mythology

[@ascendantgigachancetosee1in3mi]

​@@The_whalesthe buddha

[@notjeff7833]

We need an entire video game franchise where we are "him"

[@JoaoVitor-dj1wl]

Stalin: "You can't defeat me" Hitler: "I know but *HE* can!" *Proceeds to destroy the USSR*

[@austria-hungary7680]

Wiliam 2 lmfao

[@abdulal7605]

Wait

[@abdulal7605]

If me Wilhelm,the you who?

[@KungErik]

​@@abdulal7605 Are you his long lost twin?

[@austria-hungary7680]

@@KungErik Possibly!

[@acomment1798]

This is like an old war veteran with dementia trying to tell stories of the war while mixing up certain details, getting distracted by the tv, and being haunted by the war crimes he has committed.

[@Blastutobitz]

Don't you mean HE?

[@M1551NGN0]

Oh wow i would love to hear stories from joe biden

[@DustinBarlow8P]

The only war crime I see is your take on this piece of artistic history!

[@miniaturejayhawk8702]

​@@DustinBarlow8P *autistic

[@near5148]

​@@M1551NGN0sleepy joe?

[@jacobbruce2573]

The fact that who HE is is never explained or elaborated upon makes this so much funnier

[@Hand-in-Shot_Productions]

Indeed! Looking at the comments, I was wondering who "He" is. Now, I still am! Who is He that wins the Battle of Britain, establishes a kingdom in Crete, and has a British uniform? We don't know!

[@Attaxalotl]

@@Hand-in-Shot_Productions It's HIM! Mr. John Britain Smith himself!

[@Mynameisnotjoe]

@@Attaxalotl did the John guy destroy the Soviet Union with the Estonian

[@Attaxalotl]

@@Mynameisnotjoe Is this a Hunt for Red October reference?

[@CallofFreaky]

They deployed Freddy fazbear

[@thomasawl]

I can’t believe they sent *HIM* into the war. ☹️

[@ASlickNamedPimpback]

Weapons of Mass Destruction like *HIM* should be outlawed. Oh, and nukes too.

[@wizardninjapenguin]

Don't worry, *HE* was captured by Anglo-Soviet forces while attempting to climb freedom rock. They have saved us all.

[@unoriginalperson72]

@@wizardninjapenguin you don't think *HE* was gonna stay captured for long, do you?

[@quasario]

​@@ASlickNamedPimpbacklet's shoot the nukes

[@thomasawl]

@@ASlickNamedPimpback *HE* committed horrendous crimes much worse than nukes ever will.

[@just_Ren3]

As a European citizen, I’m so thankful that Shinzo Abe declared us as independent

[@Bax.ter70]

How is this the top comment with no replies lol I’m confuzed

[@thirdweich]

"The state of Israel fell to Germany"💀Yea I did that

[@ESPRESSO-COOKIE500]

@@thirdweichthird….soft? Weich in German means soft….are you the third „soft“?

[@VintageSpud]

Fr

[@82dorrin]

He did a lot during the war... He was an absolute legend.

[@tahsinnawarreti6662]

True af

[@user-never-existed]

I wonder where He went?

[@82dorrin]

@@user-never-existed He returned during the Cold War.

[@WorshipperOfKhone]

"Now we're all sons of bitches...." -during *HE* testing

[@cs0345]

HE's literally an anime protagonist on a quest to save the world

[@plumpotato5642]

He might just be the most influential person in history. I mean, he single-handedly beat the the Germans in the Battle of Britain, conquered Crete, and the with the Estonians destroyed the entirety of the USSR.

[@MajinObama]

Maybe it's the HoI 4-Player that was running this session!

[@shinagain6364]

​@@MajinObamamust be using that gigachad mode

[@dzyngvo9103]

"He" might be The Buddha.

[@Brwigames]

Bro is Master Chief

[@Zexceeda]

HE is HIM, istg.

[@TheAustroloHungarian]

The Rommel that died in a traffic accident was Comrade Rommel, While the Rommel who was captured was Vizier Rommel

[@kingjonny394]

Clearly they were identical twins who made different life choices

[@Bread-jc4jt]

and ari rommel became the president of the eu

[@Flooter_the_Floot]

rommel lore

[@commanderguest6669]

The rommelverse

[@bongcloudopening5404]

​@@Bread-jc4jtthe death of Comrade Rommel and the Capture of Vizier Rommel was probably a coordinated plan by Ari Rommel, so that no one can oppose him as the new president of the EU, so he had to take out the other 2 Rommels.

[@Angyjxx]

Teacher: *assigns an essay on ww2* Student: *turns this in*

[@Sinthoras155]

Well the teacher will laugh their ass off. But I don't know if the grade's gonna be that happy

[@oilybat3269]

“The British and the French government sent *HIM* to Germany” Oh shit it’s goin down

[@thatguylog1835]

‘’The slayer has entered the facility’’ vibes here

[@AtticusKarpenter]

Blazkowicz

[@filipedias7284]

**Bad to the Bone riff*

[@fungo6631]

Rambo?

[@blud69420]

Im here before this blows up

[@crashmartin1525]

I like the idea of a mysterious supersoldier, Gigachad character who obviously was a British elite soldier but went rogue and established his own kingdom and ran around causing chaos in Europe

[@sam-vaction5870]

Basically T. E. Lawrence

[@someguysomeone3543]

Frankly in this version of ww2 it was just England and Germany doing more than half of the action with the rest done by *HIM*. Nah *HE* wreaked havoc on the axis really. He took over crete so he could use it as a base for further operations into Greece.

[@QDetective]

he

[@DarkLord3709]

thats just mgs lore

[@SebHaarfagre]

HE reminds me of Sigurd I (Jorsalfare) lol. The first (and last) Viking (and anything else) Crusader King

[@AYVYN]

- Rommel Dies - Organizes his own funeral Classic Rommel

[@SqeakyAlmonds]

Also rommel had multi-personality disorder for a lot of this video lol

[@harkchester999]

​@@SqeakyAlmondsAri, Marshall, and rommel (classic)

[@jouniairplanevideos]

Rommel in Dutch mean crap😂

[@jacthing1]

​@@harkchester999 and vizier

[@Kailizzzzzz]

i love how while everyone is killing each other, there’s also random football matches happening on the side 💀

[@theblazingtomb1289]

People often underestimate how instrumental Shinzo Abe was in European independence. Honestly I’d argue it was impossible without his interference.

[@valentinmitterbauer4196]

"Googooba baba ga"- Shinzo Abe giving his retrospective about the struggle for european independence, at the 10th anniversary of the allied victory, 1955

[@panzerofthelake506]

@@valentinmitterbauer4196honestly he was a very talented little young man

[@SicMvndvsCreatvsEst8]

Also, don't forget about Ari Rommel, the first.

[@SocialistNerd]

@@SicMvndvsCreatvsEst8 he is known as the Prince of Europe

[@Al_L.]

​@@valentinmitterbauer4196This speech really changed the tide of colonialism specially in Europe, thanks for everything, Abe.

[@satriadicky3732]

I love how HE was a single entity that doesn't represent any canonical WW2 faction. This man singlehandedly build his own empire amidst the chaos and managed to rally the Estonians to defeat USSR. Mf is a chad warlord😂

[@tahsinnawarreti6662]

HE is a Anime MC

[@saccorhytus]

He dismantled the axis and defied the USSR all in his own. Is this fucking BJ Blaskovich?

[@MikeHunt-zy3cn]

I deadass just imagined Giga Chad making a kingdom in Crete, and then rallying Estonians to fight the Soviets.

[@kilgore1863]

Bro was living like a medieval warlord in Crusader Kings lmao

[@switzerland1394]

Don't forget he singlehandedly prevented Hitler from invading the UK and saw Japan from Guadalajara.

[@wilhelmhetrick8948]

This is literally just HOI 4 with historical AI turned off

[@DrHojo123]

The best way to play

[@calamitist]

Omg i just realized

[@johnnytrigger300]

I was about to comment this

[@doge151.]

facts fr

[@Local_Sand_Eater]

What is HOI?

[@Grilled-Cheese-Obama-Sandwich.]

"Hitler summoned the whole country" I CAST THE WHOLE COUNTRY!

[@alluseri]

thunderbolt

[@austria-hungary7680]

PikaCHUUUUUUUUUUUUU!

[@bang5284]

Uhh, that's against the rules, Hitler

[@Soup_Time346]

​@@bang5284 NEIN WE ARE PLAYING FIFTH EDITION ITS LEGAL!!!!!!!

[@user-cu9rb9cx6m]

SUMMON THE ELECTOR COUNTS

[@loomhigh]

Absolutely love how the battle of brisbane is completely normally translated and yet fits right into the rest of the fustercluck

[@RandooGaming]

I'm laughing at the fustercluck lol

[@wta1518]

I briefly looked in to it, and holy shit was that whole situation wild.

[@loomhigh]

@@wta1518 When the japanese heard of such contention they would drop down propaganda pamphlets on Australian troops showing americans stealing Australian women

[@TheMarianadealmeida]

Times stamp

[@wta1518]

@@TheMarianadealmeida 11:00

[@crystalcat1002]

HE is one of the greatest men in human history. He saved Britain, founded his own kingdom in Greece, helped waken Britain's future enemy, the USSR, and continued to fight for Britain until the very end. Talk about an absolute unit.

[@Hand-in-Shot_Productions]

Indeed! HE is a hero!

[@mizukittyakinyama]

as a british person, i can confirm HE saved us. i'm still thankful to this day.

[@skeletonjanitor]

@@mizukittyakinyamawe would have been speaking German today if it wasn’t for HIM

[@Brejdu]

I wonder to where HE is now today

[@EpicGCM2]

what the hell I was just scrolling through the comments and someone has the exact same pfp as me im so confused

[@asrhrle1141]

I love the fact that the entire reason of Winter War was just "Eat Salami and bravely declare war on Finland"😂, it had me rolling

[@joshuasampson4946]

Do you know how profitable the Finnish salami exports are? Stalin had very good reasons to try and take them

[@asrhrle1141]

@@joshuasampson4946 i guess we know the real reason why Stalin invaded Finland

[@C0II0SUS.X]

@@asrhrle1141 The real reason? Are you to tell me this isn't all based on truth of how WWII was. Damn, and here I was taking notes.

[@asrhrle1141]

@@C0II0SUS.X someone cant take a jokes 🗿

[@rheinejustinneroldan252]

This is WW2 rewritten by A.I

[@robertl6363]

I just love how Rommel is going on his own little adventures. Like founding the EU and becoming a comrade.

[@PacmanPac-m8y]

do you ever just found the EU? I know i have

[@osasunaitor]

It's a side quest

[@wyzolol]

and dying then returning to go on more misadventures

[@匿名的-1]

As a european, from Europe, I am filled with gratitude when Shinzo Abe declared us independent. We will never fogor💀 him

[@Water_156]

*Time traveler kicks pebble* The chain reaction :

[@Redwan777]

In an alternative universe, this video is real documentary

[@CsubAzUrmedve]

*HE LORE* - The British and French governments sent him to Germany. Reasons unknown, possibly espionage or even punishment. - Founded London in Belgium. We can presume he did that to spite the British government. - Prevented Hitler from invading Britain all by himself. Hitler was their common enemy. - Was in Central Africa after fighting in Great Britain and France during the Christmas War. Some historians believe that the Christmas War was the reason He was sent to Germany. - Led an army to Crete and established a kingdom there. Has a British uniform, probably to spite the British even more or he really liked the look of it. - Summoned the Estonian army to destroy the Soviet Empire. This caused peace in Germany. If there are any parallels with our current timeline, he was probably successful, because the Soviet Union fell in 1991. He took his time that's for sure, if this is true.

[@SkalzMapping]

Yes

[@bencet-p7322]

Nagyon akkurátus a *HE* Loreod Űrmedve. Mikor lesz *HE* szimulátor végigjátszás?

[@hank780]

Na rád nem számítottam

[@lukeskinwalker922]

HE also saw Japan from Guadalajara but for some reason StarvHarv didn’t mention it.

[@colostomybag9201]

He

[@x_xenvy1251]

"It's a small thing, but try not to go to court and look like Hitler." 💀💀💀

[@ChaffyExpert]

Truly advice to live by.

[@Kobaford]

I never thought about that!

[@traumatizedamericanrat]

But do you want me to dress as Hitler, or to NOT dress as him??

[@whitehawk4099]

You failed to note at 7:36 that when the Germans had moved 150 miles to Moscow, their advance was equivalent to 62 feet.

[@aRandomPolandBallfan]

All that for 62 feet.

[@RipOffProductionsLLC]

Non-uclidian military movements were a key part of the German war effort... it was the only way to bypass the infinite waves of T-34s...

[@thepruh1151]

@@aRandomPolandBallfan But they also forwarded 150 miles.

[@mrkalaspuff_3866]

Maybe the width of the advance was 62 feet and the depth into enemy territory was 150 miles?

[@greenhillburma]

@@mrkalaspuff_3866 If one is trying to get slaughtered in a single file along that unrealistically stretched-out flank all the way into enemy territory, yes.

[@sunnex474]

I like how HE/HIM is just a random jacked British guy performing all these incredible feats

[@covfee5458]

Why did you just wrote his pronouns there?

[@sunnex474]

@@covfee5458 he’s only referred to in the story by those words

[@AtticusKarpenter]

But born in Spain as we know now

[@Jordanlukemarks]

*HE* is actually Spanish

[@sunnex474]

@@Jordanlukemarks the comment was made before the second lore drop

[@OfficerExe]

I'd imagine a dozen of German ships beached in China because they were trying to get to Mongolia and the crews didn't know it is landlocked.

[@Hand-in-Shot_Productions]

Now that you mention it, that would be hilarious! They don't have a map!

[@p3chv0gel22]

There is propably some river flowing out of mongolia into the ocean

[@achmeingott8855]

I like to imagine nobody telling Doenitz about the entire German navy trying to sail into Mongolia until the last minute

[@Hand-in-Shot_Productions]

@@achmeingott8855 That would be quite funny as well! I wonder how Doenitz would react to hearing this bizarre news?

[@AmstradExin]

You can actually access Mongolia via the Amur River now. A connecting channel has been built.

[@RiddlesRidiculous]

Fun fact about 6:30 - This was an actual event, but it appears some of it was mixed around. Germany was considering a deal with Britain so they would stay out of Britain if Britain agreed to stay out of the war. This ended with one of Hitler's best friends flying to Britain alone in an attempt to make this happen. However, instead of flying to London, he instead landed in a field in order to speak with a duke in Scotland and told him to get on the phone with Churchill. However, Churchill did not believe the duke and that is how Hitler's best friend was imprisoned for the rest of his life.

[@tandris1085]

In the prison, they tried to get it out of him why did he come here multiple times. Later when he was already imprisoned, he started a diary, and when he got to the part where he landed in britain, before he wrote down why, he hung himself up in his cell. No one knows why to this day. He was called Rudolf Hess, also he was the right hand man of Hitler until he didn't get arrested

[@markin2067]

No that was Rudolf Hess himself. Hitler didn't cared if the UK remained in the war beacuse at the time the german war machine looked invincible. Rudolf just wanted to end the war with britain beacuse he knew there was no way germany could win. So he got in a Me110 (It's not bf) and crashed in Scotland. He got handed over to the police. Later he met Duke of Scotland if i remember where Hess told his goals about the peace negotiations.

[@laserdiscisawesome1263]

My grandfather was among those British soldiers on August 30th, 1940. He said his mate was comically flattened like a pancake when the factory fell from the sky

[@BruhDidYouKnowThat]

Did your grandfather meet HIM?

[@laserdiscisawesome1263]

@@BruhDidYouKnowThat Luckily enough he did meet HIM. Unfortunately, he lost his photograph of them together so it’s either in a random box or reduced to atoms :(

[@Cheesburger1009]

​@@laserdiscisawesome1263 I HE HIM ME

[@achmeingott8855]

Did he try stretching him back into shape?

[@czpiaor]

@@achmeingott8855Unfortunately, no. I heard many who survived the event were captured by the Germans and experimented. To find the cure for pancakism, the Germans stuck a garden hose in them and pumped them full of water until they floated like a soap bubble 😱

[@Unknown-bw2co]

I now understand how people can die of laughing. "My Aunt bought me a plane for 50 cents" made my chest hurt

[@lewisbaitup6352]

Made me spit out my drink laughing that did

[@ra_alf9467]

"British thieves, surrounded by rubbish, break into a shop in Warsaw" My jaw hurts because of the laughing

[@robinchesterfield42]

I legit had to break out a cough drop because I gave myself a sore throat through laughing too hard. You KNOW something's good when your (positive) reaction to it causes you to accidentally hurt yourself. :P

[@gabrielv.4358]

ME TOO OLOLOLOL

[@themeemqueen]

I literally died at “Paul removed his leg"

[@aurenkleige]

I like how Italy carried more weight in this fake WWII than they did in the real one. "Bloody, pirates!"

[@Hand-in-Shot_Productions]

Indeed! I would never have imagined Italian pirates without this video! Perhaps piracy could have helped the Italian war effort! Then again, Mussolini only sent "seven more troops than he previously promised".

[@aurenkleige]

@@Hand-in-Shot_Productions But man, those seven pulled more weight and lost fewer battles for the Italians than their real life counterparts!

[@Hand-in-Shot_Productions]

@@aurenkleige Indeed! The seven Italians in the East were very strong, as was the rest of this fake Italy's military!

[@Lapeno456]

fake?

[@weirwadefolk9088]

Don’t forget the seven Italian troops.

[@LocalBeztGnarpian]

-people in Christmas war -dies -turns into ghost war -refuses to elaborate further

[@Averagemomrespecter]

HIM was a commanding officer during the Christmas War between Great Britain and France. After he held off an entire French division to save his allies he was promoted to a general. During the early stages of ww2 HIM was sent to invade Germany but turned back like all of the other French generals in the Ghost War. After training his men for a few months, HIM was sent to the battle of Britain and using his newly acquired arial skills he prevented a German victory. HE then used the resources granted by British Parliment to found a Belgian London (this would give Belgium a plus 750% colonization stat boost) After that HIM and his division were sent to Namibia to get rid of German influence in Africa (German troops were never really in their African colonies so information about this deployment is left to us knowing that HIM was in Namibia and nothing else.) After the German occupation of Greece HE went to Crete to estabelish a rebellion and disrupt German comms in Greece however, HE felt as though he was the best genral ever and crowned himself the ruler of Crete.HE would go on to lead a crusade from Alexandria to Moratus for no appearant reason, he refused to elaborate further. HE is swayed into supporting nationalism and fascism after seeing japan at Guadalajara. After which he promptly joins the Axis and leads a nationalist revolution in Estonia which is greatly accepted because Nationalism and Facism was pretty strong at the time and Estonia was recently invaded by the USSR. HE was captured climbing Liberty Rock and was never heard of again. They say if you go to Liberty Rock you can still feel his presence, many boys went to Liberty Rock to train and become men, but in 2013 Liberty Rock was turned into a U.S training area to create super soldiers. Edit 1: basic grammar fixes Edit 2: Changed the ending because cigmaciga corrected me Edit 3: Changed the name of the Phony War to Ghost War because of Walterhartwellwhite3524's suggestion Edit 4: spelling fixes and adding the fact that HE founded London in Belgium from multiple suggestions. Edit 5: added the fact that HE saw Japan at Guadalajara because of something silver_sonic_23 pointed out.

[@TemmieContingenC]

Unstoppable force of a man

[@Cigmacica]

Actually he was caught climbing liberty rock and that was the last time we’ve ever heard of HIM

[@philippmaurer5722]

The only man that can stop Him is Rommel

[@Averagemomrespecter]

@@Cigmacica ah, thank you for reminding me about that part of the video, I see I got it messed up. My bad.

[@shinagain6364]

​@@philippmaurer5722vizier, Comrade, a man of many titles and many ideologies, he truly was one of the most brilliant commanders of ww2

[@VillaFanDan92]

We should all remember him for everything he did in the war.

[@lukeskinwalker922]

*He. Him is Cartoon Network’s version of the Devil.

[@bosnianjihadist]

*HE*

[@ImNotQualifiedToSayThisBut]

heehee

[@Mehak-dq2xw]

He prevented H*tler from invading Britain 🫡

[@82dorrin]

"Eat salami and bravely declare war on Finland. All Soviet forces were destroyed. Many of them armed." Actually a pretty accurate summary of the Winter War.

[@chezburgerE]

Eat salami?

[@ivyum6976]

​@@chezburgerEyes

[@aleksiheija8170]

​@@chezburgerEThat too

[@MuriKakari]

And now I need to go look this up.

[@warman1944]

"Many of them armed." Not in the Winter War, but pretty accurate for the Red Army later.

[@Dannymart_88445]

Germany: we have an army French and UK: we have HIM

[@averagejoe8358]

Ah yes, my grandad remembers the moment *HE* single-handedly dismantled the axis forces. What a guy.

[@Mistah_Boombastic_BiggieCheese]

HE MAN! I HAVE THE POWERRRR!

[@theuwutsar]

Rommel's journey is amazing. From vizier to Comrade to leader of the EU to Marshal

[@butcherybutcher8868]

Don't forget getting killed then being captures

[@Sotnyk_1]

Don't forget that he launched anti-terrorist operation in Athens, while having a big funeral.

[@HeroofMightandmagic1]

You could make a religion out of this

[@mujtaba215abbas]

​@@HeroofMightandmagic1no don't

[@generalrubbish9513]

He also died in a car accident, got captured while dead, and proceeded to take care of his family and arrange his own funeral while BOTH dead and captured.

[@UnexpectedSituation]

I am terribly afraid of HIM after this video

[@PhilipTrouble]

And you should be

[@unsuisseegare1291]

You don't what he's capable of

[@Communist-Doge]

HE is on our side. Our valiant defender of Europe; HE keeps Britain and France safe.

[@PhilipTrouble]

@@Communist-Doge HE was apprehended by Britain and France later in the war. Fear the wrath of HIM

[@lukeskinwalker922]

As long as the Powerpuff Girls are around then you should be fine.

[@jordanfry5138]

"The magic of the night is in full swing in Coventry as the city center is completely destroyed" is a deeply insane sentence. I can't decide if it reads more as mockery or someone trying to come up with a fairy tale explanation for bombs.

[@AndreiTupolev]

I think that probably refers, obliquely, to the fact that the raid on Coventry was known as Operation Moonlight Sonata

[@PedroHenrique-ki7oe]

I love how Brazil just straight up said: "you know what? I'm ending diplomatical relationships with the most important countries 🗿"

[@Swampy-ci3np]

fun fact this basically the politcal postion of Butan if I remember right (they refuse to have true relations with all major world powers, don't even recognize some)

[@roadent217]

Last week I went to the Hogwarts memorial in Vilnius. It was quite harrowing to see what horrors transpired back then in 1941.

[@scubaagent5834]

This man can make me laugh better than any multi-million subscriber channel. Great video.

[@xDLiLi1337]

beef

[@ViktorKozh]

I laughed so hard I just couldn't breathe at the end.

[@tranquoccuong890-its-orge]

its a fun content based on the random nature of cross-language translations and translation engines' minor flaws (like google translate) aside from we human are just easy to laugh

[@Miro.A.Mursu-]

This was WAYYYY better than Cocomelon or anything like that.....

[@catfacecat.]

​@@ViktorKozhfr tho

[@Texan8005]

Idk why but “the sun is stronger at night” just sounds so intimidating

[@Hellenic_Empire]

HE was such a gigachad that even in these troubling and very confusing times, he raised a kingdom and an army in minor nations and destriyed the majors singlehandedly huge props to HIM👏

[@tahsinnawarreti6662]

HE D HIM

[@applememes5372]

14:19 *yes, the most tragic thing to happen duiring the WW2*

[@shadowtrooper262]

"My Aunt bought me a plane for 50 cents." The most random sentence I would ever hear. 😂

[@Hand-in-Shot_Productions]

Indeed! That's a very cheap plane!

[@germanfisch]

50 cents in the past would be like $9999999 due to inflation

[@theseasonalgames810]

​@@germanfisch what..

[@dymoster]

Typical duolingo stuff. Btw beg for life in Nazi German

[@SocialistNerd]

@@germanfisch 50c was like $3

[@matthewjohnson4800]

"Japan declared war on Japan" 7:30 The fact that the Japanese Army and the Japanese Navy hated each other as much as they did makes this statement so much funnier, because it's almost true.

[@CosmicCreeper99]

They don’t make TV drama’s like this anymore. When Emperor Friedrich Ball was revealed to be Adolf Hitler the whole time I was legit shaking for days what a beautiful plot twist 😭

[@fgfh678]

Me too 😢

[@DARTHNECRION]

18:07 Then Hermann Göring declares himself to be Hitler! 😂

[@ThinBear4]

This entire thing sounds like if a whole Minecraft server with a couple hundred players attempted to do a mass role playing event where they're reenacting World War 2, except everyone has only a vague understanding of history. Only 1/3rd of players is genuinely trying, the other 1/3rd is just trolling, and the other 1/3rd doesn't care and they're just doing their own thing.

[@iainmichealogilviewarnock9026]

that perfectly describes this

[@iainmichealogilviewarnock9026]

the players repersenting germany attack poland but are so incompetent they fail, then get destracted and attack isreale. then a bunch of random countrys declare their independence for no reason and are later supported by shinzoe abe . then the swiss players just close there schools cause their bored. then the british and french players decide to attack germany but something get's lost in translation and they only send one player "him" and decide the rest of the british army would be best used to attack athens . then the players repersenting canada relize their supposed to help britan and try to go to glasgow but just end up in motreal. after this the american players impeach roosevelt and encourage countrys with low capacity to increase spending as well as increasing the number of us troops in korea thinking that this is going to be important later . then due to the fact that the canadians didnt arrive in time the luftwaffe is able to conqour scotland. then the germans achualy remeber what there soppoused to be doing and finnaly ocupy poland and then get a bit over enthusiastic and occupy the soviet union as well. however the poles don't relaise that there occupyed and start attacking ukraine. 1940:

[@iainmichealogilviewarnock9026]

the soviets finaly declare war on finland. it was delayed because their leader achualy had some decent knowledge of history and knew what would happen, however he finnaly get's the courage after eating some salami. after that the entire soviet army is destrroyed. the only thing they suceded in doing was captureing my wife. the japenese who at this point haven't done anything just start a robot empire. then the british leader get's ww2 mixed with the cold war and starts attacking the soviets. then the one guy sent to germany stops in belgium to found a new city creativly named "london". after that the german players forget that there sompoused to be fascists and declare war on it.then the brits finaly relaise that there suposed to fight italy and and start invading somali, the italians play along and run down there to fight them. the hitler gets his head back in the game and tries to invade britan but is stoped by the one player in belgium during a series of conflicts that would later become known as "the crismas war". then the player traveled to south africa. after this setback the german troops invade the "london" that HE set up in belgium.

[@qube7590]

HE has op

[@ВасилийМорозов-л7х]

And a naval battle of Kursk is possible in Minecraft with ground-sliding boats.

[@jonathanehn3525]

Why is 7:08 - 7:27 the most factual sounding piece. Also, I can't believe HE went unrecognized for so many years for all HIS deedsto the countries.

[@Hand-in-Shot_Productions]

Indeed! Replace "the port of Baca" with "Pearl Harbor", and remove "Japan declared war on Japan", and you'll have a factual description of the events of December 7 and 9! Also, HE did a lot for many nations, despite his name not being known! HE defended Britain, visited Africa, "founded London in Belgium", and established a kingdom in Crete... all this, and yet we don't know who HE is!

[@caav56]

@@Hand-in-Shot_Productions HE is the closest thing to Big Boss this timeline has.

[@jakubkriz1293]

Man I just wanted to say thank you for your work. These were 20 funniest minutes of my life without break. This video is absolutely incredible and I appreciate that you gave it your time and energy. This video should be way more popular! Looking forward to see another amazing videos of yours!! Keep it up!!!!!

[@bruceismay5440]

11:00 as a Brisbane resident I can tell you, this is a real historical event. The Americans were paid better and started picking up more women than the Australian soldiers so they had a small fight

[@Jappenessee]

i live in brisbane too

[@L_T31]

Goofy ahh

[@user-never-existed]

From the moment HE appeared, I decided HE was my favourite character. Amazing plot line, absolutely SHREDDED in the gym from the sounds of it, and has the power to do things no other human can do. The British must be so proud to have someone like HIM. HE is an absolute warlord. HE is a kingdom founder. HE is an independent entity with the power to overthrow global superpowers. Best part is, HE is just off in Greece founding his own goddamn kingdom. I love this man. Like look at this! (15:09) HE SUMMONED THE WHOLE ESTONIAN ARMH TO DESTROY THE SOVIETS!!

[@TopHat64_]

Average protagonist in pretty much every game Fallout, skyrim, any other game where you can play as a character who can carry an unreasonable amount of crap in some pocket dimension somewhere to pull out at any time or has some game mechanic power that allows them to things that the npcs who should be on the same level as them can only dream of doing I mean come on, if any other random fallout settler were to find themselves in a horde of gouls, they would be dead. But ooooh no, not the soul survivor. They have the power to take on death laws and destroy towns if they so please

[@rogofos]

"the sun is stronger at night" now this is actually really deep because at night the sun is shining on the other side of the world so the other side of the world is always brighter than yours and the neighbours grass is always greener

[@chrisalex82]

Wat à filozofer

[@silviabatista184]

Best documentary ever on world war ll. Biggest revelation ever: the course of history was often decided by the intervention of " him."

[@charliebann5605]

I've never laughed more in my life, I was literally crying from laughter

[@victorlolxd7347]

And it gets much funnier

[@quinvos57]

Me too

[@tomassiqueira5172]

Same. Why did it send him to a random Somali website 😂😂😂

[@tahsinnawarreti6662]

True af

[@pawer_themaw]

"we will never stop fighting on earth" ~Winston Churchill, never

[@gudea5207]

Ready for my master’s thesis on Shinzo Abe’s guarantee of independence for Europe during WWII and Italian fashion

[@Deathly66]

17:10 so that’s what the black loads were for…

[@tylercreative3096]

I would love to see a novel based on this and all the other parts of history google translated. It would technically "be based on true events".

[@Jan_Koopman]

OMG I'm dying!

[@someguysomeone3543]

I can just imagine one done on the crusades. I did one about the peoples crusade translating it about 30 times "The civil war led to the first civil war in the Holy Land, fought mainly in Jerusalem, the civil war began when the second Catholic pope ordered his followers to go to Jerusalem within six months. in April to October 1095, known as the Crusade. .... The Crusade was a military campaign organized by the Church before World War II. Special thanks to directors Petri Hemet and Walter Sainz. The Seljuk Turkish army under the command of Kurtz Arslan defeated New Zealand warriors in Western Anatolia." It didn't come out as good as I thought tbh.

[@Hand-in-Shot_Productions]

That would be hilarious! Not only that, but I can also see how it is "based on true events"! It's just that Google Translate made it funny!

[@Hand-in-Shot_Productions]

@@someguysomeone3543 That history of the People's Crusade sounds funny! "The Crusade was a military campaign organized by the Church before World War II" is technically correct, since it was "organized by the Church" _centuries_ before World War II! Also, the credits in the second to last sentence, as well as the battle between Kurtz Arslan and the "New Zealand warriors" is rather random. Thanks for making this!

[@fabiorepetti2492]

A story abaut HE story

[@annakobuk3618]

HE deserves an entire movie about him because he was an unspoken hero of his times.

[@Bunny_Bill]

*He* is a fearful individual. Thankfully *he* seems to be on our side.

[@jdog345]

He invaded Crete presumably before the Germans took it, HE is above sides

[@ElDisable]

i love how He is doing whatever he feels like during the full war, occasionally summoning full armies to aid the allies. i like to imagine He without a face, as his legend goes beyond his human form and makes him just sound like a Deity personified. Long live He!

[@Cake9Cakey]

nice to know Dr. Doolittle did his part in the war, god speed Doc, your a hero

[@TemmieContingenC]

It’s a shame we haven’t seen more of The Buddha and how he’s actually a quarter of all things on Earth. I’ll take *HIM* over The Buddha though, as *HE* seemed to be doing a lot for the allies than The Buddha would have ever done. Thank you for your service, the illustrious *HIM* .

[@spokenclawm.4121]

maybe HE is the buddha?!

[@TemmieContingenC]

@@spokenclawm.4121 holy shit…

[@heihogreenzx4704]

@@spokenclawm.4121 I was just about to say!

[@埊]

i think that He is the Order and The Buddha

[@PersimmonHurmo]

Imagine if aliens received this instead of our actual history...

[@ugwuanyicollins6136]

What if this was real history. But aliens covered it up

[@Calibornian]

​@@ugwuanyicollins6136Elefant and turned into a pillow

[@Now_Roxas]

​@@Calibornian Eat salami and be an idiot

[@piotrmalewski8178]

@@ugwuanyicollins6136 Well, it's not entirely THAT wrong. Poland had the biggest Jewish minoority in whole of Europe and was the only country to give settlement priviledges to Jewish immigrants every single time they were expelled from somewhere, since 1264, up to 1930s when the last of way something adround 300-400 thousand fled Nazi Germany and the Soviet Union. So, for the lack of separate Jewish state at the time, Germany kinda did invade Israel.

[@jamescara7286]

Now I know why aliens haven't visited us yet they're terrified of HIM!

[@ahmadtarek7763]

The fact that I can understand where some of these come from is so funny, like for example "after weight loss" might have been "after heavy losses"

[@YourFriendlyOfficeAssistant]

I love how the "small ship" hit by radio attack is a King George V-class battleship, one of the largest allied ships of the war.

[@aKetO-uKAhinoto]

Can't believe Google didn't make any mistakes in translating this.

[@deleetiusproductions3497]

There are no mistakes.

[@Eagle_the_18th]

I like to imagine the first person segments are written by the author writing down this timeline during his own experiences in the war, from losing his wife to the Soviets to travelling to Odessa (presumably to rescue her from the Soviets with that 50cent plane his auntie gave him) to grappling with the trauma of killing a person for the first time in the Ardennes

[@TheFunnyDictator]

That's a nice story! Please elaborate more! Please reply, buddy!

[@gamingmoth4542]

EVERYONE: "Which side are you on?" HE: "Yes."

[@Alexander59059]

2:34 This whole Soviet segment felt really passive aggressive and I love it.

[@generalrubbish9513]

"All Soviet forces were destroyed, many of them armed." This implies that a significant portion of the Soviet forces sent into Finland weren't given any weapons, which honestly feels on-brand for the Soviet Union lol.

[@pee_0656]

@@generalrubbish9513 Maybe on brand with fictional USSR but not with the real one. (I am Ukrainian, I think I know my history fairly well)

[@highqualitygrunt8195]

​@@generalrubbish9513nah, you get the cheapest rifle money could buy, a brown coat, and 12 personal tanks

[@hawks-wings]

@@pee_0656if you’re still in Ukraine, stay safe dude

[@Hand-in-Shot_Productions]

Indeed! One can hear the sarcasm with "bravely declare war", and "all Soviet forces were destroyed, many of them armed" is quite an achievement!

[@ThatBigFail]

My great-grandfather (born in 1945) was psychologically wounded as a result of the three year long Sino-Japanese War of 1894-1895 of 1939-1942. He was diagnosed with Chronological Confusion, and has been temporally challenged ever since.

[@yeettherebel5460]

We all talk about him, but I think we should focus on the author who killed several people went to Odessa and killed more

[@someguysomeone3543]

All because he couldn't go to the beach in italy

[@Ducky-vl7mp]

Don't forget that the only reason the author was able to do that is because their mom bought them a plane for 50 cents

[@adventuresintheculinarywil3296]

"Emperor Friedrich Ball, also known as Adolf Hitler" Even AI google translate's making Hitler ball jokes

[@szandorthe13th]

I absolutely lost it at the moment Japan declared war on itself. I spent most of the video up to that point snickering to myself, but that was the moment that broke me.

[@caav56]

When IJA/IJN rivalry goes too far.

[@DakotaofRaptors]

​@@caav56when the Japanese Army decides to build it's own navy

[@mahougaming]

HE, the greatest man of history

[@pandasylver]

* him

[@tahsinnawarreti6662]

HE the goat the myth the legend the chad

[@thenamestails7152]

Imagine being a history teacher and showing this to your students, April 1st.

[@AntoniOrszykowski]

Scary part is that with current approach to eduction 90 percent of them would probably take it for granted.

[@ANDORRA195]

Unfortunately my school has the video blocked :(

[@cjanderic6181]

2:57 the fact that it could be any of our pillows….

[@DarkifyDarkify]

8:45 If only I could've listened to this...

[@Urbychief]

Relatable

[@cherry_swirl]

This is genuinely hilarious and the editing is some of the best I’ve ever seen! Deserves more than 800 views, seriously

[@victorlolxd7347]

Yeah its Hella funny

[@hakarmalm7756]

Now it has 380k views 😂

[@tperm99a]

Let's all take a moment to appreciate HIM. HIM was such an amazing contribution to saving the world in WW2. Crazy how one guy can do that

[@matthewysc5840]

I feel really sorry for Paul that he removed his leg just because his leader didn't want the kissing ban

[@ZAPPERZ_]

My grandfather served in HIS army. I am proud to be the grandson of a man, who served the Cretean Emperor

[@thepioneer1525]

*HE* Was truly the most important figure of WW2, *HE* singlehandedly changed the course of history forevever. I don't think there will ever be a man like *HIM* ever again.

[@tahsinnawarreti6662]

True af

[@CassieNade]

"This year has been tough. You have to be ready." That some cold ass quote right there

[@Hand-in-Shot_Productions]

Indeed! It's rather blunt and to-the-point!

[@gianmarcodalpont7803]

In the reality Goebbels really said that

[@Hand-in-Shot_Productions]

@@gianmarcodalpont7803 Interesting! In fact, the Wikipedia page for "Timeline of World War II (1939)" (the original one, not the ruined one) cites Goebbels as having said something similar to what he said in the translated version! "It will be a hard year, and we must be ready for it." -Joseph Goebbels, in real life Thanks for the comment! For the original Wikipedia page: en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Timeline_of_World_War_II_(1939)#December For the source for Goebbels's speech: research.calvin.edu/german-propaganda-archive/goeb21.htm

[@eighto1213]

My great grandpa lost his life during the christmas war. My great grand uncle was kidnapped by italian pirates, he was a sailor.

[@ITSAMEAUTOMA]

5:05 I laughed for many moments, but as I am polish man myself, this quote definitely got me wheezing

[@TheFunnyDictator]

Why so?

[@Amelia_-qy9nz]

I love how HE sounds like an anonymous loner on his quest to save the world

[@tahsinnawarreti6662]

Bro the Anime MC

[@space__idklmao]

ALL HAIL WANG JINGWEI, EMPEROR OF ROBOTIC HUMANITY

[@Hand-in-Shot_Productions]

Now, I know that the head of the "Reorganized National Government of the Republic of China" is also the leader of a "robot empire". Hail to the robots!

[@埊]

who is Łong Dzingłej?

[@isg4]

"Ribbentrop: To hell with it" The most sane thing the translation said

[@theeman7243]

*He* is now the most famous person of the twentieth century, practically single-handedly winning WWII, for both sides.

[@unsuisseegare1291]

HE singlehandedly lost the war for Germany, what a chad

[@tahsinnawarreti6662]

He is gigachad

[@jebbroham1776]

"We will never stop fighting on earth" - Winston Churchill. Man, was that guy a visionary or what? 😂

[@Hand-in-Shot_Productions]

Indeed! Not only that, but it kind of makes sense, if you read it as meaning that we will not stop fighting until our deaths (when we are not "on earth"). It's quite inspiring, overall!

[@kinggoji953]

Can you imagine being in Canada, then all of a sudden the entirety of Canada just flies to Glasgow for no reason.

[@ilarioLee]

An Airplane, Flew To Glasgow. 400 km from Ireland in Montreal

[@KyrusR]

The fact that schools never teach about him really shows just how easily the bad people in history can greatly overshadow the greatest men to ever fight that evil. He did so much to aid and ensure our victory and yet has been almost completely forgotten from history.