10 Red Flags You Should NEVER Ignore About Men

[@datingcoachryanpatrick]

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[@poponachtschnecke]

Omg, the red flag about calling women crazy...after five years of suffering under a narcissistic dictator, I can tell you, don't ignore this red flag, RUN!

[@victorialsaint9046]

Cheap man will always said they don't understand woman. 🙄

[@donavanantoine4576]

Finger pointing and never willing to accept faults is never a good sign.

[@phoebsc5993]

Omg I had narc hell two years ago. What an education...am now an expert and im like Teflon...

[@bethanyleonalemleykottonqu7570]

Yes i done that i ran fast in my exs

[@midnightsky1407]

I came across a guy like this. We were on our second date. We started talking about the new stranger things season. I mentioned the actress Winona Ryder who plays Joyce writing a tweet warning women to not go for a man like Jim Hopper because the way Jim acted in the last season was crazy and manipulative. The guy I was on a date with blew up over that. He defended Jim Hopper a fictional character and berated the actress a real person. He called her a slut who's crazy and all kinds of crazy nasty things and blaming her. I was surprised and in my mind was thinking "Well thank you for letting me know now that you are the one who has problems... this is our last date."

[@orchidtreasure1484]

As a woman who has survived domestic violence, I beg and plead, PLEASE DO NOT IGNORE OR DISMISS ANY RED FLAGS AT THE BEGINNING. If I could help someone to avoid what I went through, it would make me so happy. No nice girls deserve to be treated like garbage. Neither do nice guys.

[@wendyjimenez8987]

Absolutely no one deserves to be treated like garbage.

[@irishashlingr74]

The same with me . I’m just starting to get brave enough to finally flee

[@orchidtreasure1484]

@@wendyjimenez8987 exactly. Thanks for your comment.

[@orchidtreasure1484]

@@irishashlingr74 Kudos to you sweetheart! It certainly isn't easy. Being financially independent is vital, because abusers try to control their victims who are dependent on them. I wish you a totally safe departure from your abuser.

[@chaneldoll1514]

Just escaped a future relationship that could have ended bad, because i paid attention to the red flags. PLEASE girls and boys always see the red flags, the damage could be irreversible

[@Carvegirl]

Nr 11 Ryan, he only talks but there's no actions. A boy will tell you, a man will show you. Thanks Ryan. 👍🐾

[@AntoinetteSarpong]

NotOfThis World LOVE this!

[@t_m_420]

Completely agree!

[@aprilfannin3980]

At first I shared his time with another then I had all of it, he wouldn't want me to do anything but be with him. Leave the dishes, wash clothes later, just be with me. I was sceptical at first, but he was so loving and so attentive, and wanted to talk and talk.. Adventure and calmness all in one.. plus he was hot as hell, very interesting, intelligent, and passionate about his goals and dreams. He was genuine. I seriously thought to myself numerous times WOW.. I searched high and low in my lifetime to find true love and when he looked at me it took my breath away and made me giddy and for once in my life I was Speechless.. I had waited on him for a lifetime. Well after being together for a while and trying to do everything I knew to please him and make him happy.. I got a lil insecure well alot because before me was a long long marriage that he was really broken up about. He never said anything bad about her he never said they argued or cursed or anything of that nature. They had a pretty good life if you ask me. 30 yrs is a very long time to be with anyone and it's also alot to live up too. I was so independent before meeting him.. Dont get me wrong my daddy has help me alot and yea I'm overbearing and a lil crazy and most of the time I'm misunderstood. Some say I could be a bully but I'm not a bully I just am over protective and scared of loosing him. He made me feel beautiful like no other. Wrote to me left me messages proposed to me in a very short time and moved with me a few states from where we met. I'll continue in a few.

[@marswmnwhoever1365]

Absolutely. Opening statement is exactly right. Universe nothing. Universe would have had me with at least two different guys that had kids. Dealbreaker! Theres nothing you can do once that cat fact is outta the bag. Game off!

[@jasminaloulova9202]

Brilliant! Words are cheap, actions speak.

[@VegasLady81]

When your stomach feels nervous around him or you just FEEL that "I'm not into you" vibe, there you go. Why don't women ever go with their gut instincts?

[@datingcoachryanpatrick]

We're always redirected backs to those initial instincts about people. Good point, Melyssa! 🙌🏼

[@zlatkajupe]

I was watching another video on this topic and she said she thinks it's because society teaches men it's okay to walk away from relationships they aren't happy in where as women are more often than not try and make bad/unfulfilling relationships work.

[@truerosie]

@@zlatkajupe Good point. Men are taught it's ok to put themselves first, to put their happiness first. We women need to catch onto this too, we are equally deserving of happiness.

[@truerosie]

We all have to learn this. Many of us have.

[@sarahanne__]

I had a gut feeling about my boyfriend when he made Really odd comment (well he's made a few but you know didn't listen to my gut) anyways I forgot to relpy to his comments after about five minutes (I was playing a game) and he relpied to me saying" I asked how you are" for me it comes off like a teacher was shouting at you like if your talking to somebody and your not giving them attention and they say I asked you to bleh bleh bleh you know . .. Also here's the nail in the coughn (don't know how to spell it sorry) he said when he's worried he gets wound up then he said you get worried Sarah like when I'm worried I keep it to myself which makes me unhappy I don't talk down to people I hope I'm not overreacting but my gut did say that was werid

[@MarcellsWorldJjr]

1: Wishy washy behavior/communication 2:Refers to women as crazy 3:He's nice in private but rude in public 4:He only knows the short term 5He all about himself 6:he wants to lock you down fast 7:He's Obsessed with his image 8:He has horrible friends 9:He got your friends concerned 10:He's never accountable

[@sarapatch616]

I act like myself when I meet someone I don't put my " A game" on bcuz of the reason I want someone to get to know me not a fake version then 6 months later my flaws come out.

[@datingcoachryanpatrick]

Really great to have that courage and just let whatever flaws you may have hang out there from the get-go! Hopefully, it will enable him to do the same with you 😉

[@celiaartemis5485]

Great tactic, and honest 🙏🏻

[@lukeskywalker2116]

And that is why relationships that don’t last longer than six months or a major red flag

[@debracrawford2906]

Nailed 6 out of 10. How about adding a guy that falls in love with just about everyone he dates. I saw all the red flags but then kept thinking I was too cautious. I wasn't, I was right on. Always listen to your gut ladies. You are worth so much more then you think.

[@samarztk]

Sounds like a love bomber

[@debracrawford2906]

@@samarztk That is exactly what he was and have learned that term just recently. Within two months he was telling me he loved me = red flag. Found out he was engaged to the last longterm girlfriend. Broke up 10 months prior to meeting me.= Red Flag During that 10 months he begged two women, simultaneously, to leave their husband and boyfriend to live with him and start a relationship. Said he was trying to save and help them. = Red Flag Every past relationship was explained that the girl was crazy = Red Flag Six months into the relationship I figured out one reason why he was trying to get someone/anyone to commit to him. He was a binge alcoholic. Would get totally blitzed out of his mind for weeks at a time and could go into months. Usually this would happen after the ending of a relationship. I'm guessing that is what he has been doing since our breakup 5 months ago. I believe he has serious emotional issues and extreme neediness. He will do all the same things to the next women.

[@datingcoachryanpatrick]

Amen!

[@datingcoachryanpatrick]

Could be!

[@datingcoachryanpatrick]

Yup, he'll be doing all the same crap until it stops working out for him and no one will date him anymore

[@VegasLady81]

Your intuition is God's guidance for you.

[@datingcoachryanpatrick]

Yep, just a friendly tap on the shoulder, if you will 😉

[@psychicdevelopmentexercise]

Yep...you gotta listen to it though, not stuff it under the rug.

[@Candie4JC]

Amen and amen

[@curtiscole736]

So why listen to this Bs?

[@rllz8119]

Amen-

[@brandy4522]

When you realize you've been struggling in an 18 year marriage and your husband is 7 of these traits, but has tried to make you believe that it's you who's the problem and that you're crazy. Listen to him ladies. Get yourself healthy so that you can be strong enough to set appropriate relationship boundaries and enforce them if he continue to disregard and disrespect them.

[@jenj5437]

Wow I got 10 out of 10, I am glad it’s over!!! I was so unhappy, never dating a narcissist ever again! Oh and they are cheaters too..

[@annamarie3288]

Sounds like a narcissist 😐

[@laughoncomedy2923]

Yes exactly they are very useless and toxic honestly

[@bravefaery135]

Oh Honey. It's 9 years and 3 daughters later for me. I'm leaving soon.

[@saltycat662]

Oh my dear, you are with a narcissist. If you ever decide to leave him, be prepared for him to make your life Hell. If you don't leave him, it's likely he will leave you one day. A narcissist also can never be faithful.

[@Karen-ov9iy]

I hate to say this ....but these type of men, never change even in their 50s! I was played well by a narcissist. In fact as they age they only become more deceptive !

[@BubblyinUSA2010]

Karen exactly! Me too! Even tho I had suspicions but foo foed it.

[@kylielogan8771]

I agree they do get worse and more deceptive my ex got another victim as soon as I got divorced they hate being alone.

[@TheGd2812]

Karen don't be a Karen

[@Karen-ov9iy]

@Jennifer G Since I wrote my initial warning 7 mos ago....new info regarding my ex covert narc came to light. He is and was in therapy the whole relationship......but chose not to include me or us in the therapy . It also proves to me that his selfish ,deceptive ,deceitful nature has not been helped in any fashion. Actually I suggested he seek a new therapist . Be careful. This type of man is a professional predator who is only interested in his own needs.

[@rustyflowers1696]

STOP BEING SUCH A KAREN JEEZ.

[@vanessatalaboc3419]

A guy who would confess his love to you at the first meeting. No, nope!

[@livefromtheground7274]

Exactly... I aint your Bae, Boo, etc. I just met you

[@corsicanlulu]

that could be lovebombing which is a narcissistic tactic

[@jleopard2190]

God....that I love you words are so annoying..

[@ryanweston9677]

Way too weird and clingy. Run fast lol

[@NycBeauty]

I went on a date twice with a guy a year 9 months ago. I decided to have another date with him 9 months later. I told him I’m not ready for a relationship ( I ended a relationship a year ago ). He is trying to convince to love again. Also, he told me “ I already love you “. He text me “ thinking of you , missing you, darling “ IT IS TOO MUCH❗️I will never have a relationship with this man. He always think we are meant to be.

[@Jackie1111]

My ex talked about his exes and every woman was crazy..i didnt realize that this was a red flag and that it could be him for not taking responsibility for his behavior

[@Dontincludeme]

Because he made her crazy

[@shoutinoutnext6979]

Uhh yes if I’m your girl I don’t wanna hear about your ex or someone who use to date you gross makes me jealous which is negative

[@jlivb]

This is so true

[@charlesabraham-ramirez-verdugo]

So what if a woman says that men suck?

[@YucaRo]

My ex said all his exes were crazy and I honestly felt bad for him. Then years later he called me crazy all the time when I expressed my feelings, since he didn't take responsibility of his actions.

[@LadyJani]

11. Red flag : When he is very jealous and has low self esteem! He will try to forbid you meeting your friends or keep you small at your carrier or hobbies and always blame you for things

[@mr.meow.studio]

Totally true

[@mr.meow.studio]

I've faced that 😔 and now I realize that he never loved me. It was just me all alone wondering myself giving myself excuses to stay with him. I was so fool

[@curiouskitty9344]

@@mr.meow.studio im going thru the same thing. It sucks feeling like a fool, believing what he said while his friends cover for him. Years wasted living a lie, that is the hardest part, along with the confidence blow knowing now he was having this great sex life with someone else then coming back to me the next day. It hurts so bad and i feel so humiliated, i don't even want sex again. I keep comparing myself to them and though he says he didn't compare me, i still think he did/does. I'm too insecure now to stay with him even though he's the only one i want to spend time with. This pain cuts deep

[@mr.meow.studio]

@@curiouskitty9344 so what should we do now?

[@mr.meow.studio]

@@curiouskitty9344 I just hate myself because of him and I hate him too. I broke up with him but I feel I'm still hurting inside and as day passes my pain is getting deeper and deeper and I have literally no idea how to get out of this. May god bless both of us

[@quarantinelife.]

No one: Men: "Women are complicated" Also men: *confuse a lot of women to the point where we have to watch relationship videos on KZbin because they don't want to be upfront and honest* 🤣🤣🤣🥥🥥

[@Dontincludeme]

I had to consult with a friend for about thirty minutes over what this guy was saying and doing (giving signs that he was interested but it turned he knew how busy he was and didn’t actually want to prioritize meeting up). We were analyzing everything and working together to send the “appropriate” text where I cut him off and explained why. Do guys do this?? Do they text their friends for solutions about mixed signals women put out? No, I don’t think so

[@hannahh9778]

🙌🙌 right? 😂 I get peeved when people say women are complicated or crazy but men are so simple and easy to ready. Pretty much every man I've been out with has been the exact opposite. This channel is awesome though.

[@riabubong2167]

Yessss 😂🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

[@DanniNicoleLifestyle]

Girl, this! 😂

[@faizayyy]

😂😂

[@aleewoolley]

Please do a video on dating someone's "potential" vs their "reality." I seem to get hung up on what they - or the relationship - can be vs what it really is in the moment. I think a lot of people do this.

[@debracrawford2906]

There is a pop song out about exactly this. It resonates with me too.

[@1LadyM7]

I spent 7 years with someone being hung up on their potential. I just realised that it wasn't real. That it was all in my head and that for my own sake I had to accept him for who he really was and stop projecting my expectations on him, which also by the way is not fair to do to anybody. So that's what worked for me, what is in front of me is real (his actions), the 'potential' is only in my head.

[@larsswig912]

@@1LadyM7 I was with a guy before, for who he _could_ be. but in the present, in actuality, he was an immature jerk that really didn't deserve my time. I don't hold grudges against him for that because he was only 15 when we started dating and 17 when we broke up, so he was pretty much a kid acting like a kid. I hope he learnt a lesson, at least. (also, before someone says I'm gross or whatever, I'm only a year older than him lol)

[@freakdavid4085]

Translation from Woman to Men: "i was with an a-hole or with someone who looked good but was a loser or something like that and i thought i could change him becouse disney told me so"

[@aleewoolley]

@@freakdavid4085 Not just Disney, but most rom-coms too. I still love a good rom-com, but the more I “do the work,” the more I see the relationships in most of them as toxic. Also, I believe a fair number of women/people, especially those with a history of trauma (myself included), don’t even see the red flags (vs seeing them but just thinking they can change someone). Myself, I can become dysregulated and not realize when someone is unkind or emotionally unavailable, even though everyone around me sees it plainly. Like Mikaela beautifully stated: to fall for someone who doesn’t exist. And then eventually I’ll have this big epiphany “Wait a minute.. they were treating me horribly” or “they were stringing me along.” Fortunately, once that thought goes through my head I wake up and can start to move on. The more I meditate, journal, get healthy, etc, the more I am willing to see those negative behaviors early on and move on more quickly. Consequently these days I have a lot more only-first-dates. There are so many really nice, genuine guys out there. I’m no longer willing to date the ones who “might be some day.”

[@amywood5254]

Ryan, one REALLY HUGE red flag you neglected to mention and super important for people to register is alcohol/drug use. Thanks for the video; love your channel!!!LL

[@angelus_solus]

No, not alcohol use ... alcohol ABUSE. There is nothing wrong with moderate drinking. After all, it is written: "Wine makes the heart of mortal man rejoice." It's when the drink takes/has taken control of their life when you should run away. Calling alcohol use in general a red flag is very narrow-minded thinking and could cut out a potentially wonderful person from your life. You may have been raised around alcoholics, but it doesn't mean that everyone who drinks is an alcoholic.

[@ruuoxi]

for me it's not even a red flag, but straightforward do not enter zone,

[@KatieJCruz]

The biggest one for me is rushing into a relationship. Like 🤔🤔🤷🏻‍♀️🤦🏻‍♀️

[@egyptianqueen4007]

Yep. I always side eye those guys.

[@mrsHet999]

Dated a guy who tried to completely break my boundaries, seemed super committed, talking about living together after 3 months, I was cautious and did not want to rush things. 4 months in we went on a holiday together, I was falling head over heels thinking maybe living together would not be that bad, after all we were together almost every day anyway. After another two weeks or so I found out that 4 days after we had returned he slept with someone else. He claims to have fallen in love with her, all of a sudden none of the grand plans we had mattered... I mean, I am writing this thinking what a dick.... but somehow he had managed to make me feel guilty about it and it hit me hard. Dating is a hardcore game :D

[@KatieJCruz]

@@mrsHet999 it’s really dating a narcissist that’s the problem. Idc I’m running when I see these signs.

[@KatieJCruz]

@INFJ 4w5 well, that’s more real than someone who’s trying to rush into it.

[@sophiaperiii1483]

This one that i been talking to for a month already would say that he would marry me i would say hey ur being to fast and im not even ready to be in a relationship yet and he would say" thats fine because at the end of the day you will be mine" like what is he thinking is he serious or just playing me? it makes me think he must be joking like he is doing a prank

[@jess77surfs]

"his way or the highway" is standard operating procedure for guys over 35.

[@MegaSantaclaude]

Woot, generalisation!!

[@denik9614]

Thats when you stand firm on your boundaries and dont bend. You can train a man. Literally. Train a man how to treat you!

[@cherylhulting1301]

@@denik9614 But why would you want to spend the time educating him? That's not your job.

[@drayke6936]

This also goes for women. If I’m dating someone and she does something I’m not into I just usually bolt.

[@fruitloops3718]

Is that a bad thing said the 58 year old.

[@emeraldeyes8688]

The “lock you down” thing happens often, at least in my experience. Typically they are afraid that you will have the opportunity to find someone else, and hope that agreeing to just being with them will keep them from losing you. Sadly, it doesn’t keep them from seeing others behind your back lol. Typical narcissistic behavior.

[@BokushingusKendoTV]

Not only that but lock you down people have really low confidence levels and low self esteem.

[@katebet07]

Dealing with one of these now, & realising I've been making sooo many excuses for his behaviour. Still not easy to accept though - my mind keeps going to the good times at the beginning, & I worry about hurting HIM even though I'm being hurt! Wish me strength to end this!

[@datingcoachryanpatrick]

It's time to let him go, Kate 😉You got this!!! You know it's the right call for you, because you've declared it to us. Be sure to come back and let us know when it's DONE 🙌🏼

[@katebet07]

@@datingcoachryanpatrick will do! 😊

[@katebet07]

@@datingcoachryanpatrick it's done. I feel pretty lousy - he was quick on the uptake to end it so he's been thinking that way for a while I guess - just didn't tell me! I can't help but feel there's something wrong with me - even though I keep telling myself there's not 😔

[@verab2700]

Thank you for the advice. I need the courage to end my situationship. 😒🙌🏻

[@shendyelsom506]

Let go of him..you already doubting yourself darling because that's what the narc wants...leave him before you in to deep...you far more worth more in life than an insecure low life pulling you down to his level...what have you got to lose except your pride..no darling you have more pride than him...run fast 💜👌

[@JB-kx9bx]

Never ever ever date a guy that blames others for his failings.

[@vlin030]

This was one of the reasons that I broke up with my ex. I felt like I had to deal with every responsibility by myself because he couldn't assume any of these 🙄 and of course, it's very toxic and irritable to listening he blameing every day every time everyone! Just sucks really

[@riquipoo5578]

Ha!...would edit to..."never ever ever date a guy"

[@somewhatsurprisedpikachu2887]

And make sure they don't manipulate you to end up apologizing to them (gaslighting)

[@Shellxo420]

I’m done dating. I literally just went through this smh 🤦🏾‍♀️

[@mrsHet999]

Dont give up... :) it sucks a bag ...I know far too well but shutting down wont help either..

[@freakwants2play458]

Same

[@kti3549]

Same I hate it

[@EJ257IHI]

@@mrsHet999 Not for everyone. I found being single fits me better. I stopped dating in 2015 and I don’t miss it at all, it was more a chore for me. Not everyone were meant to be in relationships.

[@stellawil]

I just ended a brief "relationship ". He had 5 of the 10 red flags. He was looking for someone to take advantage of and manipulate. I found out he's financially dependent on his Mom. He's quite content to live at her house and not work. No thanks

[@datingcoachryanpatrick]

Oooo man yeah that's a big pass right there 😬

[@stellawil]

@@datingcoachryanpatrick yes. I'm enjoying your videos. Thanks

[@AlehaDarabaka]

@stellawill im super proud of you! I know how hard it can be and im glad you got to walk away early on vs him owing you so much money and drain you so hard! You're a strong smart goddess!! Good on you!!

[@hannahscott6604]

I know someone with ONE of the red flags but he is great outside of that. His mom took his ex fiancé’s side when they broke up. Some people just genuinely don’t have good relationships with their parents

[@sandraklein2651]

OMG ..Ryan.... Many years ago, I was dining out with my ex. He treated the poor waitress like crap. I was devastated and so embarrassed. I apologized to her. She asked me why I was with this yutz as I seemed so nice.

[@Caramel_Kris]

Christ 🤦🏽‍♀️ I’ve dated every trash trait on this list 😫😫😫😫

[@rustyflowers1696]

Get you a submissive mail order asian husband.

[@gingertrang8686]

If you liked them, it was true regret

[@ryanweston9677]

That’s awful! Maybe there is a deeper reason for that. 🤷🏼‍♂️

[@malaika4960]

🤦🏾‍♀️

[@Seissmo]

Might be something wrong with what you’re attracting / attracted to.

[@Areyoukiddingme64]

OMG my ex #10 never accountable!! I was accused of cheating when I never did anything!! He never could admit he was wrong about anything!!

[@theteachingromance]

Still haven't found one of the red flags in my current guy interest. YAY. Although, looking back I saw some of them in previous dates. Thanks for sharing this video.

[@datingcoachryanpatrick]

Glad he's getting high marks so far! 👍🏼

[@theteachingromance]

@@datingcoachryanpatrick Yeah, it's just a little confusing figuring things out only through his written words. How did people do this pre-internet times when they had to rely on actual letters instead.

[@lrla8657]

My boyfriend is the opposite of all of these except the sweeping me off my feet thing. But he doesn’t want to ‘lock me down’, he just wants to be with me and I with him. This video just confirmed that he’s awesome! 😍

[@davidpierce9949]

Ok its a year later. Are u still with him?

[@lrla8657]

@@davidpierce9949 LMFAOOOOO!!!! Yes and I still like him!! He’s frickin amazing! We were talking and he said he wish he would have met me before his ex. He said I’m his soulmate. It’s true! 😍

[@barbara-annperry5941]

​@lrla8657 So are you married yet ❤

[@lrla8657]

@@barbara-annperry5941 LOL Nope. I’m not the pushy type. But we are still together, he is still amazing and when he heard of the big snowstorm that is coming, he told me he didn’t want me to drive in the snow (we switch staying at each others house every weekend as we are 2 hours apart) and wanted to meet for dinner Wednesday. Will be 4 years in August. 🥰

[@hannahscott6604]

The women are crazy one is so real. My ex did this a lot.

[@datingcoachryanpatrick]

Yup LOL to some guys *every. single. girl. in. his. life.* is crazy 😄It's amazing! 🤣

[@venusempress7]

Same here he would refer "Bitches be crazy" 😒🙄

[@milenaaguilar2167]

Mi ex used to talk about his own mother as a crazy woman.

[@tromboner6061]

@@milenaaguilar2167 she might be

[@Sarablueunicorn]

@@tromboner6061 I actually agree. The problem is that because he had a crazy mother he could project it on other women because mother is the first female role mother he had in his life. There are many crazy, narcissistic psychopathic mothers. That's a fact.

[@jaydemelissah]

I’m 35 and never had a long term relationship. On and off twin flame for 7 years and quite a bit of dating but I’ve attracted the wrong type of guys for me. Childhood trauma and a lot of self worth work. 🙈 Working with a relationship coach at the moment, so eye opening. 💗

[@rosieharris3176]

Good for you, lovely! Best of luck to you! x

[@jaydemelissah]

@Rachel Wilson I literally started talking to someone not long after this.... and it’s going so well. I’ve worked on myself so much and manifested a lot so I’m glad it’s starting to happen for me.

[@greentea-dg7ht]

Your not the only one. Now i move on

[@Ljounieh]

@@jaydemelissah what do you think was the most important change you made?

[@kcmo1984]

same girl same

[@neverwhere1391]

It's so sad that there are men and women who would writeoff a whole gender, simply because they didn't catch the red flags when with troubled individuals. They have a lot of healing to do. This video is really very informative. I have a strong instinct that spots 'Signs' early on, in general not just where relationships are concerned.

[@bassoonmusic601]

There was alot to sift through when things ended, and I learned A LOT about the red flags that I chose to ignore along the way. I was one of those with my blinders on. I realized I had fallen for who I wanted him to be instead of who he actually was. I'm determined not to repeat the same mistakes in the future. ❤

[@tg9898]

Because I am insecure at the start of relationships I decided to watch this, as I've always seen red flags in my exs and the majority of them have hit at least 8 of these.. I am actually happy to report my new interest doesnt have any of these so far, phew what a relief

[@Heymarleey]

How is this so spot on. I talked to a guy for about 2 weeks before going on a date. He had asked me to be his girlfriend a week after the date. I felt so bad for saying no but bc clearly things were moving too fast. But we continued talking and I realized he would always talk about the past women he would date and there bad characteristics and why it didn’t workout. & 3rd, I had gotten a new job during the time so that meant a new schedule and a week into it, he was already super upset he would only get to see me 1 or 2 times a week. Clingy almost? Definitely red flags!

[@datingcoachryanpatrick]

Omg yes! NEXT! 👉👉😖

[@Debbielightworker]

I repeatedly gone for men who don’t show consistent interest in me. They won’t make plans or don’t reply or cancel plans or don’t bother to text for weeks. I’m done with that and this video reinforces that decision. Being single is better than dealing with that. No more hoping things will change. They don’t. Either they show me they are willing to invest in me and us or forget it. 😃

[@jamescalder5115]

Thats how it should work. If someone is not putting the same level of interest/commitment as you are then move on - You shouldn't accept anything less than what you give.

[@srubabotimukherjeemusic]

Better you remain single... It is much more peaceful and beautiful when you have no narcissist in your life at all. 🙏🙏🙏😂😂

[@marissav3083]

True

[@reiyalol]

Yas

[@pabitrapaul371]

No. Single life is empty. A good angel is necessary to complete life.

[@marissav3083]

@@pabitrapaul371 - Angel?

[@pabitrapaul371]

Yes

[@cherrylynn7173]

I should’ve known my ex was sending red flags when he wanted to lock me down early. That is the big one I missed. I thought he genuinely was interested in being with me. Boy was I wrong Smh

[@sophiaperiii1483]

What did he do afterwards? After being in a relationship woth him

[@katualfaro5811]

I just broke up with my boyfriend of two years because I found out he was still living part time with his daughters mother. He lied and said we were getting married. Red flags were that he never spoke on the phone with me. Only texts. And he said women are crazy and all his exes were crazy. Eventually he said I was crazy too when I was calling him

[@memyselfandi6749]

Sure do wish I had your tutorials decades ago. I went through hell with "the wrong men" / wasted lots of time. I'm still single / never been married. Now, armed with your incredibly helpful information, I'm ready to find the " right man". Thank you so much.

[@LifeIsGood1992]

I have all of those plus some bonuses, in the past I've kept getting out of relationships and decided not to go into a relationship again because I don't want to cause emotional harm to no one

[@yatiejabs6684]

I met a guy a year ago, after 6 month I told him if we wanna be a couple then let see how we fair as a live in together couple. Within 4 months all red flags surfaced, this man can be angry every other day for no reason, calling me names like asshole, monster, crazy - told him I don't like to be called as such and he thought I was oversensitive. Felt like walking on egg shell everyday. No weekend plans. Final straw when he spoilt my daughter's birthday and said he had the right to do that. His own daughter told him off but he kept on humiliating himself by saying hurtful things to me. Told him to leave as he clearly doesn't love me. He left. Guess what, 3 days later started texting me as if nothing happened. 2 days after that, apologizing for the spoiling the party. I never replied. Now after 2 weeks of texting and no reply, he got upset and texting nasty things again. I am moving on and not looking back !!!!

[@scratchoriginalsdh]

You’ve pretty much described a narcissist. A clinical one.

[@msenekra6702]

Consistently Inconsistent!!! Convenient minded... listen to how he speaks and watch what he does.

[@datingcoachryanpatrick]

The ol' mismatch bait-and-switch type guy! 🤦🏻‍♂️🤦🏻‍♂️ Yikes...

[@mfkz_alyssa2017]

Yeah my boyfriend always tells me he loves me but never shows me he does, he did tell me he loved me on the first date... We are barely 10 months into dating and living together. So I agree with half of what this video says.

[@agnesvr]

I hope you are doing better now

[@samantharumak1704]

Another red flag I want to share is when he said something that upsets you and will never apologize. The next morning after that happened to me his response was "are you done pouting?" It was a response I was never expecting after I said "Good Morning" to him. It just stung really hard for me.

[@yl508]

Lol the guy in my case asked Are you still stressing out? Then added: Well, you deserved it ( he called me an idiot and said later that I deserved him calling me that )

[@paigelong3654]

You should make a video about dealing with a breakup when you have mutual friends!!

[@lovercross]

Paige Long Yeah agreed. it’s so hard & worst, dealing w/a breakup & the ex is still in mutual friend group b/c they were friends 1st before you started dating & everyone in the group is still social w/each other. We’re trying to act ok, while dealing w/the pain of losing a close/friend ex that they have to hear & see more often that you’re ready for.

[@reiyalol]

I left My Friends 😭 1 year ago, still miss them

[@Juztkiki]

This video was on point!! My ex had most of these red flags and i wish i would have known a lot sooner before wasting 5.5 years of my life with him, lucky for me... im learning to value myself and know my worth and spot red flags early on so I can weed out the guys that arent worth my time fairly quickly lol

[@datingcoachryanpatrick]

Thanks so much, Keylie! 🙂Just keep sorting. It's the expert sorters that save the most time AND win the game in the end 😉

[@Juztkiki]

@@datingcoachryanpatrick definitely, I'm mastering the skill of sorting through the bad apples😊 but videos like yours definitely help!

[@powerhouse233]

You know now...you got your experience so you know what to look for.

[@zlatkajupe]

I've watched other videos but this was the first one that made me realize I really do need to break it off with my boyfriend so thank you. Now I just have to do it. Ughhh today is gonna be a long day lol

[@datingcoachryanpatrick]

You got this, Petty! And if you need a little help, make sure to check out my video "How to Break Up with Your Boyfriend The RIGHT Way" ----> kzbin.info/www/bejne/i3XYoqRnpbd0ack

[@thatukrainianjew]

Ryan Patrick: Red flags DON'T equal bad guy Also Ryan Patrick: goes on to describe narcissists

[@Wisdomforthehour]

Excellent video. Thank you. The guy I am dating actually fit every single one of those morning signs. Also, they don't like when you do things for them. They don't see it as a good thing, they see it as taking away their reason to abuse you.

[@keepoo246810]

This is making my heart hurt... I'm actually so upset.

[@shelleestanger8232]

This was exactly what I needed to know and hear! I recognized a few of these things, in a past relationship I was in, and also into someone who is starting to talk to me again.. Thank You! :)

[@datingcoachryanpatrick]

You are so welcome, Shellee 😀

[@pearlhanson3590]

1. Consistency 2. Unaccountable 3.Ghetto ignorance 4.He won't comitt 5. Uncompromising 6. Immediately too zealous 7. Obsessive [srlf] 8. Lousy friends 9. Friends are concerned about him/her. 10. Keeping you on defense

[@lizi.2503]

This is GREAT advice! I'm single looking to prepare for dating and the guys that I talk to make weird moves. This video helps me not make the same mistakes twice.

[@janeyparker8381]

I'm that person who sees all the red flags but continues to keep giving the person chances

[@Euro.Patriot]

That's a reason why your life sucks, get rid of him, you'll feel better.

[@adgreene]

OMG! I want to send this to my ex Narcissist new victim! Bless her sweet heart - she needs to hear this so bad. GREAT video and you hit the nail on the head. When I see these red flags again, I will not wait another second wasting my time.

[@datingcoachryanpatrick]

Yes, please send over if you think it would help her. I'll be tackling narcissist men in a bigger video in the coming weeks too 😉

[@mariageorghiades9420]

My ex scored 8/10 on that one. Guess he was a giant red flag. Ryan, wish I’d discovered you sooner. Hope you and your family are well. Stay safe. 😘😘😘

[@datingcoachryanpatrick]

Thanks Maria! And better late than never, right? NEXT! 👉👉😄

[@mariageorghiades9420]

Ryan Patrick haha. Yup. Glad I found you. 😘😘😘

[@psychotic_lovers9281]

I had a guy that I considered an acquaintance we have never talked about dating cause firstly I am a lesbian, secondly we have only talked with each other on the bus for the past month, thirdly I only know one thing about him, and that he wants to be a film maker. I barely even knew him at all, and than when we where on the buss one day he started touching me without my consent know I barely even know him, and we have never gone out with each other at all, not to mention he would constantly call me stupid for no reason. So since he touched me without consent, and kept putting me emotionally down I blocked him, and erased all contacts with him.

[@jentleil2183]

This guy knows his stuff

[@_Guest1573]

5:51 "My father tells me that you can tell alot about somebody by the quality of his friends" - Cera from the Land Before Time 7. Never thought a kids show would hit so hard in my life.

[@KingofSanity]

That's because they put things that contain wisdom in plain sight if you're really looking for it you'll see it.

[@MyDarling572]

Red flag # 11 : the guy who wants an "open" relationship

[@datingcoachryanpatrick]

Mmmm I beg to differ. You may not like him proposing an open relationship at all, which is totally within your right... but at least he’s being transparent about exactly where he is versus him trying to be sneaky and lie to you, ya know?

[@MyDarling572]

@@datingcoachryanpatrick I see...Yes it makes sense. The open relationship guy belongs in a separate topic. Title : "How to tell if you are dating a womanizer" 🙂

[@cherylhulting1301]

@@datingcoachryanpatrick The problem with the "open relationship" thing is that it's too often one way. The guy gets to have multiple partners but won't consider that it's an option for a woman partner to do that too. That's usually a huge red flag for a woman. A guy who wants multiple partners is entitled to pursue them, sure. But why then try to commit to a relationship? Just play the field.

[@brideofallunquietthings888]

I agree. While one can say there's nothing wrong with an open relationship, from my experience more often than not stems from emotional unavailability. There's a diference between being comfortable exploring options and avoiding commitment or closeness I think it takes a VERY healthy person to be just outright comfortable with open relationships. While honesty and upfrontness is a plus, what exactly are they being upfront about- their physical availability, not necessarily their emotional availability. Sometimes I think people hide one behind the other.

[@rtphotos4691]

@@datingcoachryanpatrick - 🤣🤣🤣🤣 she is referring to manipulative men who cry "open relationship" *after* the woman is already emotionally invested. It's an abuse tactic. If a man says "I want an open relationship" straight out the gate, then that is ok. Most men do not do that. They pull stunts like having sex with you, THEN tell you, "I'm not looking for a relationship." Stop defending creepy behaviour.

[@GUIRADEBI]

I can give seminars all day long about relationships, I been trough all kinds, at 42 I found the right woman. Even do we have our issues we both are proffesionals and have many things in common. It takes time to settle down with the right person.

[@xw6475]

Yes he is out. Thank you so much for the video Ryan.

[@datingcoachryanpatrick]

Welcome X W! 🙂

[@The4thSoprano]

#2, #3, #5, #7, and #10 strung themselves together as my most recent ex with a generous side of attempts as gaslighting. Thank you for this reminder to pay attention to my instincts!

[@lovehandr]

a lot of these issues are signs of narcissism. everybody should learn about narcissists and beware. A relationship with a narcissist could lead to a lifetime of misery.

[@corsicanlulu]

i wish we learned about that in school, way more important than algebra

[@vrithikajoseph4089]

The being rude to waiters is soo true. When I initially started dating a guy, he raised his voice at the subway sandwich guy when he said "We only do 3 sauces". I was stunned to see the whole room in silence as he yelled at him. It felt very scary but I thought it was just a momentary thing and ignored it. Fast forward to 6 months later and he checks off most of these qualities you mentioned. I was dating a huge red flag. I'm so glad I left him and have found someone a billion times better. Every single video I have watched about green flags or "being the one" have been true with this new guy. I feel so happy. I hope things work out.

[@pixiepalasmr6881]

As someone who used to work at Subway this makes me so angry for you that you had to deal with that for that long

[@katedauphinee7536]

Love those add-ins. That guy on the golf course--LOL! Thanks, Ryan!

[@datingcoachryanpatrick]

Any time!

[@xenajamey5611]

My ex would throw his clubs. He would throw tantrums about any little thing. Was way too stressful to be married to someone like that. Not worth it at all gals. Now I have peace, and will never tolerate that behavior from anyone.

[@kayleighl6835]

#7 fronting the single life. 😫 I love how straight forward these videos are though. Thank you for sharing!

[@veronikakovacova4389]

I wish I had seen this video years ago when I continuously got the package of all those traits. Thank you for pointing this out so clearly. This should be something that girls are taught in early age. It would save so much trauma. Thank you. 🙏💛

[@amandavictoriasewell7393]

Genius. Spot on. Perfect. The instant'lock down', said I was 'mad'. Bad news all round. Thank you!

[@lindamiller3309]

Thank you for a beautiful man with a beautiful soul that is bold enough to preach what needs to be told🤩🙆🏾‍♀️🙏

[@lmok6939]

I very very very rarely get to go on dates. I have been single for 7 and a half years. 😞

[@louragreenlee692]

I have had domestic violence in my life so I am hoping to break the cycle

[@sallyjrwjrw6766]

Generally speaking, it takes therapy to work through unconscious behaviors and attraction to the wrong person who feels familiar.

[@lgreg810]

Not dating the current guy I’m seeing/talking to (yet), but he does not exhibit any of these signs. And he also finds ways to make me feel good about myself. Taking things slow, being friends first and seeing where it goes. Both of us have been hurt before.

[@MariahBurley]

Thank you for sharing this. I did not know there were 10 red flags to look for. I am glad that I know this now so I can guard my heart.

[@dlwsport250]

Mariah Burley Please review this several times and you will definitely save yourself a lot of heart ache because you will know how to set proper boundaries as well as determining what you deserve and want in a relationship. I am speaking from 50 years of experience.

[@MariahBurley]

@@dlwsport250 I knew some of those red flags but not all of them. Thanks for saying that.

[@datingcoachryanpatrick]

Glad you found it useful, Mariah! 🙌🏼

[@datingcoachryanpatrick]

Ahh boundaries! Set em' early on indeed! 👍🏼

[@MariahBurley]

@@datingcoachryanpatrick I definitely agree with you when it comes to setting boundaries.

[@Zazahra8742]

Great ...I came here to see if I am missing anything ...No ,I have developed few rules over time and they are almost all you mentioned above. It helps you a lot and guards your heart.

[@datingcoachryanpatrick]

You got this! 👊🏼

[@spiritualinthephysicalwith3446]

Wow I wish I had this info back when I met my husband. Thank you for this video 😁

[@KeepItKrissy]

#2 is true. If I would have known 6 years ago, I wouldn't be called crazy in nearly every argument. Now we have a child together and I'm at a loss of what to do to get out due to so many reasons.

[@Euro.Patriot]

You're kind of fucked, even if you leave your kid's life will be fucked up.

[@kristine432]

Great video and so true! So glad I'm single.

[@patrycjakonieczna]

Very interesting. Very informative. First video on relationships which is not boring cause you guy speaks consistently and directly at a fast pace.

[@Sisterlisk]

All good points, but I'll have you know, I had to put you on 1.5 playback speed because otherwise it just takes too long

[@reneebob94]

I dated him for years and even though he kinda show his true color I never leave and it comes to the point we now have a child but he never tried to support him in any way. He was always out with his friends and doesn’t say where or when he will be back. He’s always talking bad about other women at his workplace and even his friends are always saying I’m too hard on him. Now it all makes sense that he was even talking bad about me with his friends. And it’s so hard to start a normal conversation with him unless it’s sexually related. But I found another guy and he has been honest and helpful even though we never seen each other since we met on social media. But I feel like I wanna leave him and be with this guy but it’s so difficult now since we already have a child and I don’t want my kid to grow up thinking I’m the bad guy for leaving his father. And for some point he’s the reason that now I don’t wanna be on a normal date with any other men in the future. Honestly I think he got all the red flags you’ve mentioned.

[@madxpinklady]

This is so insightful. You've thoroughly explained points of things I thought I knew, but aspects of which I've nevered considered. One example, about friends noticing that something is amiss. Thank you so much.

[@98superstar41]

Ryan,where were you with this breakdown when I needed you? It's amazing how naive I am ,you hit the nail on the head with these 10,literally,my last boyfriend was all of the above,oh my God!!! Well,you live and you learn....

[@lasilveira805]

I wish KZbin was available 21 years ago 😏 I would of seen these red flags sooner

[@lesliebalneg4938]

I just love the way you communicate with us Ryan! Thank you! 😊

[@VegasLady81]

Bring out your "inner nerd".... Sound familiar, Mr. Patrick? LOL Loved your blog. That was awesome.

[@datingcoachryanpatrick]

Thanks for checking it out, Melyssa! 😄

[@VegasLady81]

@@datingcoachryanpatrick You're welcome

[@LisaGemini]

Ryan, great tips here. I once knew a woman who called all the people she lived with "crazy." Eventually, she turned on me, too.

[@datingcoachryanpatrick]

Hey Lisa, how've you been?! Haha yes women definitely do this too. Everyone's got problems *except* for them 🙄🤦🏻‍♂️😂

[@LisaGemini]

@@datingcoachryanpatrick Well, this woman was bipolar so that explains a lot!

[@Beautytrends77]

My ex talked about how crazy his mom and his ex wife was all the time, I knew that it was a red flag and In the end he dumped me for someone else and told her how crazy I was! And he also left his status single the whole time we were together.

[@unfilteredthoughtsforyou]

Ryann, make a video on how can a woman show her value to men and make them fall. I love all your videos and you are def my favvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvv coach!!! Please dont leave us ever🙏🏻💕♥️

[@datingcoachryanpatrick]

Great suggestion!

[@katyhawkins1149]

I've been told that I'm my partner's longest relationship, but why on earth would he take 3 years to post a picture of us on Facebook, but a few weeks with his ex, who he was with for not even 2 months?

[@adelacortes958]

Love the content and YOUR DELIVERY!!!!!

[@datingcoachryanpatrick]

Thanks Adela!

[@burberryclaretred6676]

Thank you 🙏 for the comment about a man talking about his ex as crazy ...that is totally true a representation of his disrespectful mindsets toward women

[@MuyThoughts]

Hold Up, so are you saying 90 Day Fiancé is actually a Red Flag?🚩😉 🤣 Once again Sound Warnings 🐅 I hope we all pay attention 🐑

[@datingcoachryanpatrick]

Lol well I guess 90 Day Fiance is one way to get yourself out there 🤷🏻‍♂️😂 Thanks K Dub

[@carlettwalker9009]

Great advice thanks. I used to be a serial dater. Now I want to be married and it's harder. I think because I'm 49 years old. Ryan I need help.

[@datingcoachryanpatrick]

49 years *young,* Carlett! 😉You're in primo time to find your man, but you gotta believe! It's YOUR time! I wanna help get ya there 👌🏽🙏🏼

[@harshitakushwah1189]

1- He has wishy washy behaviour. 2- He refers to women as "crazy". 3- He's nice in private but rude in public . 4- He only knows the short term. 5- He's all about himself. 6- He want's to lock you down fast. 7- He's obsessed with his image. 8- He has crummy friends. 9- He's got your friends concerned. 10- He's never accountable. THANK ME LATER 👇 ❤️😊👍

[@ZosiaSur31]

Thank you, Ryan! I just wonder if greediness is also one of the red flag we should be conscientious of?

[@Zazahra8742]

Greedy in what sense ? Is he cheap when it comes to spending on you ?? Well,it all depends

[@ZosiaSur31]

Well, he seems to be stingy with others, not with me, not really generous, for example, when it comes to giving tips to waiters and things like that...

[@Zazahra8742]

There are two types of people. 1_ who think only close people deserve their best selves. They are nice to closer ones but a bit critical to strangers (I decided to be this one years ago) I am hard on people but soft on my family,friends ,lovers. 2_There are people who are nice in the beginning but then treat you with same trashy attitude after sometime. I don't know which category he belongs to.but look for sign ,if after some time, he tries to push your limits and tries to be stingy with you too .Give him an ultimatum or two then walk away if he doesn't treats you right.

[@datingcoachryanpatrick]

Greediness in what sense, Sophia? 🤔

[@datingcoachryanpatrick]

Greedy with love perhaps? 🤷🏻‍♂️

[@urvipriyadarshini3526]

I dated a guy, who was literal meaning of perfect. He texted me good morning, treated me well.... everything was going good until his friends came into picture. He started to spend more time with them and less and less with me to the point where I got anxious about him leaving me. And I went totally crazy... All I did was to cry, do anything to get his attention... ANYTHING!! I even begged him to stay but still he left. Honestly I had never felt such a connection in life before. I felt safe around him and till date I don't like to believe that he's a bad person, but I always admit that he got himself a really toxic group of friends. It's 8 months now since the breakup and I still get traumatic panic attacks. I feel like what in the world did I do to deserve this? He actually changed a lot after those friends entered his life. I still miss that sweet person he was❤

[@sarahbillson170]

4:14 Do. Not. Ignore. This No matter how good the attention is, or how nice he is. Don't do it. When I was 15 I had a guy ask me out on the first day we met and found out he drinks and his whole life is video games. He never has time to hang out because of his video games and online friends. Different guy but after three weeks of knowing him, he asked me out. Found out he also drinks a lot. Passed out while on call with me. Got his friends to help him pretend he was in the hospital to make me worry and he treats others like crap.