S2E25. part 1 | monogamy, love, and some yelling! lol

what’s good, good people! i got my guy Gee (@geesmalls) on here to debate with me this week. let me know your thoughts in the comments.
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[@k.alvarado6237]

My experience of open relationships is that it’s usually one person who wants it and the other person just goes along to not lose the person

[@WalterLeeHamptonII]

so true.......

[@willwowxdrice642]

Or super close friends with benefits who are in a "relationship/partnership" and aren’t ready to commit to one person but have each other as a "base"

[@dabigd1860]

@K. Alvarado PREACH, BROTHER!!

[@rw7712]

That is not a healthy relationship. Because the same scenario could be about something else. Every relationship will require each of you to compromise. However, if you're compromising in regard to your personal values to maintain the relationship it is in serious jeopardy and will not last.

[@grayscar05]

I have a pretty good guess out of Juan and Gee which one didn't and which one did.

[@k.simmons862]

I think Gee and his spouse are still growing and finding out what they both like sexually WHILE still being in a relationship, which is why they choose to be open. Their relationship is NOT a blueprint and shouldn’t be treated as such because what they do, works for THEM from the outside looking in. I think monogamy is realistic and CAN happen if both parties agree and fully understand who they are as individuals and as an entity. Yourself comes first.

[@Cedric-ub6fs]

I agree with you. I do not see things the way he does, but hey, if it works for them!

[@KCNwokoye]

True. Everything in life is about self control, self discipline, self enlightenment and commitment that creates value and leads to joy, peace of mind and fulfillment. Anything you do that doesn't lead to self-fulfillment then what is the point of doing it? Life is about attracting into your life the things that create value, peace of mind and self-fulfillment to you including being in a romantic relationship, the work you do and any lifestyle that you desire. This principle applies to anything that we value and that includes intimate relationships but not limited to it. This applies to food, work, sex, relationships and everything that we decide to explore, experience and enjoy in life. If you want to be in a committed romantic relationship whether monogamous or polygamous then you should have the self-discipline to see it through and maintain the commitment that you have agreed to. When you decide that self-discovery and self-control is not something that you want to exercise in life including in your romantic relationship, then that is also a decision that you should make to yourself and to the person you want to create a relationship with. If you want to be in a monogamous relationship to continue your quest to realize self-discovery and self-fulfillment then It's all about deciding the values that works best for you and that you want to exercise and maintain. Then find someone who also shares those values. This can be in a polygamous or monogamous relationship. Just be honest about what you really want and communicate those key elements to whomever you decide to share your life with.

[@dondismith9962]

This is so loud, so aggressive, and I love it! Lmaooooo Obio is usually so calm & cool, but Gee is taking it there! This was good, I literally see both perspectives

[@bleukev]

i like that there's passion on both ends and there's space for both of them to speak.

[@WalterLeeHamptonII]

I definitely know gay monogamous relationships do exist. However when you are deeply involved in the gay community it may be difficult to see monogamous relationships. Because there is so much dysfunctional behavior that many gay men accept as normal. However the further you move away from being actively involved in the black gay community. That’s when you can clearly see the crazy stuff black gay men accept as normal (daily multiple different sexual partners). Yes Black Gay men can in fact have monogamous relationships. I know plenty of them that do exist.

[@fixieroy]

"multiple different daily sexual partners" how is this crazy if you are single? exploring options isn't disfunction. just be clear. that you are exploring vs setting up any commitments. Now if the person is partnered then its more complex but there doesnt need to be chaos if both parties work hard on communication boundaries and expectations.

[@WalterLeeHamptonII]

@@fixieroy to have that many sexual partners on a daily basis is in fact a serious issue. This is the type of dysfunctional behavior gay men seem to have normalized.

[@PHlyestofNerds]

What does “deeply involved in the gay community” even mean? It sounds like (and based on your content) a pathologizing of gay people in general. Does queerness allow us to examine long-held standards for relationships? Absolutely, and that is a great thing. Do some LGBT people do the most? Sometimes. But suggesting that you know all these monogamous gay couples while also also disparaging the gay community seems contradictory and a bit forced.

[@WalterLeeHamptonII]

@@PHlyestofNerds "deeply Involved in the gay community" means just that, spending a great deal of your time (and life) surrounded daily in very dysfunctional community. Many black gay can not see how unproductive and dangerous their behaviors really are until they actually step aside and take a break from the gay "lifestyle". As far as you suggesting I am disparaging the black gay community thats a bunch of crap. I encourage all black gay men to LOOK around our :community". Sit down and really take a very CLOSE LOOK at whats going on and figure out whats best for your life. I can assure you there are many black gay men in successful monogamous relationships who have chose to distance themselves from the overall black gay community.

[@winevnova]

Is it that men have a *natural* skew towards being non-monogamous, or is it that a lot of men have been *socialized* to view non-monogamy as a goal and something that elevates them in their feeling of masculinity? One is free to pick and choose what kind of romantic relationship best fits them and the people agreeing to engage with them, as polyamory is perfectly valid when genuine and consensual, but I think the notion that 'Men WILL have difficulty being in a committed relationship past 5 years, and that is natural' is all too often a copout for people choosing to be disrespectful towards the person they're in a monogamous relationship with, or, worse, a descriptor of people who lack self-control. I also think that telling yourself that you WILL have an inter-personal problem, is going to help contribute to you experiencing that problem.

[@dantesummers4048]

This. This is the comment. I agree 100 percent.

[@ayoq9956]

Great point. I think it’s both. But I DEFINITELY believe we are SOCIALIZED to do a lot of things more than we know or wanna admit

[@SirDave]

I was just thinking that when I started to watch this video.

[@kenscales4992]

Relationships are about COMPROMISE. The YELLING is a turn off for me. Simmer down Gee. Monogamy is hard it does not matter if you are Gay or STR8. Love you Obio.

[@pastordonkoh7692]

I'm straight

[@itsRobBass]

Relationships are not abt compromise

[@willwowxdrice642]

@@pastordonkoh7692 nice

[@tonywinston9023]

@@pastordonkoh7692 yeah sure you are

[@manuteemane2465]

@@itsRobBass yes they are.

[@rspen2142]

Monogamy is hugely difficult. However, the daily question to yourself should be, "Is who I'm with worth the sacrifice of me not acting on my desire...?" If you say no, then you are not with the right person, because the right person will make you say, "If they ever cheat on me I'd be devastated..."

[@grayscar05]

It's only difficult for people who lack discipline and maturity.

[@rspen2142]

@@grayscar05 I agree. But, too many times people make do with people because they are tired of being single. This makes them more adept to have a wondering eye...

[@WalterLeeHamptonII]

When you are in a long term relationship and you begin to desire sex with other people, the relationship needs to either end or be put on pause. If the person you are with isn't satisfying your sexual desires, then why are you with them? I personally would end a relationship before I would settle for being with a partner who is getting sexual gratification from someone else. I am old enough to know those types of relationships never end well. Also there is also a huge risk of getting a std from a partner who is out having sex with other people. Its a hell no!....for me.

[@grayscar05]

It's beyond just sexual gratification, they're also getting emotional and mental gratification as well. But I agree with you 100%

[@e.mwenda6501]

One thing about passionate-Obio, he will talk fast......like Twista fast.

[@arthurjohnston7434]

I hear him, but then again If that's the situation then I'd rather be single and have best friends 🤣

[@tonysmith8035]

My partner and I have been together for 11 years. I could never imagine entertaining anyone else in a flirtatious or sexual manner. I don’t understanding being in a relationship and still engaging with other people while in your union.

[@xamanbro826]

100% satisfaction is impossible. Sure, if you have 80% and want to get 20%, go out and get your 20%….but when that 80% leaves you, you’re left with 20%…and shortly after, 0%. Relationships are about sacrifice. And sex is a BIG part of the relationship, not a small part. That’s precisely why you don’t have sex with your friends…because you’re not in a relationship with them.

[@dabigd1860]

@Xamanbro What if your in the gym, in the showers with your "friend" and you realize just how much HE PACKING, tho? 🤷🏽‍♂️

[@xamanbro826]

@@dabigd1860 Lol! Well my man is packing already so…. I’m good!

[@firelordazulon610]

lol. Gay men and entilment 🤝🏿 Wanting it all whilst refusing to put in the work needed to make long term commitments work.

[@deaonlee2038]

This was so good. All points of views are valid and more people need to think outside the box and be open minded to how compromising can make for a great relationship.

[@ayoq9956]

There was SOOO MUCH great dialogue and discussion here this felt like a 20/30 minute conversation instead of a 12 minute one

[@GavinGregory]

IMO it is sad that in our community we look for ways to excuse our lust so we can have it both ways. Sure if you find someone to agree with your style of partnership have at it, but don't proselytize that monogamy isn't natural to justify your position.

[@manuteemane2465]

Thank you. Because it’s a lie to begin with. Monogamy IS natural, just like polygamy. There are species that stay with one partner for their whole life. Honestly this lust focus lifestyle is why I distance myself from the gay community. I just can’t.

[@talentmusicent574]

Loooovee this convo! Gee’s perspective resonated. It is next level in my opinion. His ideals about love to me are unconditional. Obio’s in my view get very conditional. Though I appreciate Obio modeling how to create space for a view that didn’t intrinsically resonate with him. ❤ For context, Acceptance of someone else’s whole self and truth = Unconditional love Sacrificing of self to be accepted by someone else = Conditional love I’m not sacrificing who I am to be with anyone. I’m bringing my full whole 100% self and that’s what I’ll attract into my life. Anyone who asks me to be less of me for them won’t work for me.

[@myG2drink]

Not you hit the “to be continued” on us! Lol. Can’t wait to watch more . Thanks for this

[@Calm_B4_Storm]

People absolutely show up 100% as themselves in relationships, which is why I don’t abide by the “80/20 rule”. I firmly believe that 100% includes your capacity to care for and appreciate others as well as your ability to compromise. I’ll also say that the inability to be monogamous in a relationship with your partner isn’t the biggest problem, so much as it is the fact folks aren’t ready to accept it’s human nature to find someone other than the person you’re in a relationship with attractive/sexy/fuckable/etc. Finding someone other than your partner sexy/attractive/fuckable/etc. isn’t the problem, acting on that instinct is. There’s no 1 person in a relationship that’s the apple of their partner’s eye 24/7, that’s just it. We as humans are visual creatures and can find beauty in more than 1 thing. Operate in honesty and you won’t have any issues with that in your relationship.

[@billybatson3810]

I agree 💯.

[@chrissybradford8477]

Men don’t have self control is what he’s saying

[@dabigd1860]

@Chrissy Bradford Men, BY NATURE, are NOT MONOGAMOUS creatures.

[@chrissybradford8477]

@@dabigd1860 I can argue that it’s the same for women. Have you ever watched Maury??

[@kylewambot2664]

@@chrissybradford8477 gwerl I said that same thing in a convo to myself about it.

[@manuteemane2465]

@@dabigd1860 just because you don’t like monogamy doesn’t mean it’s the case for the rest of us. If there are other species who can be monogamous, so can we. As far as I’m concerned, monogamy is the only way for me. I’m not turned on by the idea of having multiple partners.

[@samlightshines]

Once I saw Gee I knew exactly why you wrote "and some yelling lol" he yells in almost every video lol

[@Joshua-re3xw]

So not only is he sleeping with other people but connecting with them emotionally too??? Throw the whole marriage away 🗑🗑🗑🗑

[@dereckwallace1428]

People make sacrifices everyday whether its your job, friendships, money, and so on. If one can make those sacrifices why can't you make the same sacrifice for your relationship

[@KevinETaylor]

After hearing WHY they got married, I think they have a magnificent LOVE but are still discovering LOVE and EACH OTHER. It ain't none of my business but since it is a public conversation, I think that the CONVERSATION about MONOGAMY is always so damn trivial. YOU CAN STAY ON A JOB. YOU CAN DECIDE TO STAY IN A HOME. YOU CAN DECIDE TO LOVE SOMEONE WITH YOUR WHOLE HEART IF THAT IS WHAT YOU DESIRE. I have other things I have to do and want to do in my life and being distracted by someone else is a thing that can get too much energy. I can smile and engage and be friends with someone and even find them attractive (I THINK ALL OF MY FRIENDS ARE ATTRACTIVE FOR SOME REASON, IN SOME WAY...AND I HAVEN'T SLEPT WITH THEM!). I think it takes some real work to be clear about WHAT you desire AND WHY? Since so many of us do not know because we haven't examined it, WE ARE LIKE KIDS. Attracted and Attractive are a conversation that @Obio unpacked and we should spend more time there.

[@itsRobBass]

1st. I love how loud Obio was for the first half of the video 😂 B. I agree w/Gee And also people focus way too much on the sex part of the relationship

[@rileyhanes5089]

I feel sorry for g small. Nothing good ever comes out of thinking like he has.

[@YHoll]

I truly did love this. I loved the conversation, loved the yelling because you can tell both sides have their strong opinions about this and neither one is letting up but they are still respectful of each other. I agree with both sides honestly. Just like how monogamy and polyamory can coexist. One isn’t better than the other, it’s just about communication.

[@liljay0687]

I agree with everything Obio stated.

[@youlknowmyname]

Who is Ohio?

[@liljay0687]

You know WTF I MEANT!

[@youlknowmyname]

@@liljay0687 Wow was just indicating for the correction no need to get so upset.

[@Blazenetwork1990]

@@liljay0687 😂😂😂

[@Thetruth32]

Open relationship failure rate is 92%, nah I’ll pass 😂✌🏾

[@prl08]

Different strokes for different boats… everyone has their own views on sex, relationships, and life in general. The key is finding a partner with compatible views instead of trying to force someone to be who they’re not or forcing yourself into unhappy situations

[@calblue8694]

I love this conversation and the energy and dynamic between you guys is so refreshing and warm. Like having a conversation with the homies

[@DerrickPete]

Ooo, this video touched some nerves, didn’t it? Obio, I hear ya - love is sacrifice, yes! Why call him a husband? If there’s no sacrifice on that level, call him a roommate you have sex with. If you use the societal word, then it comes with expectations. So instead of redefining the word to fit your circumstance, just admit you’re doing something different and that’s cool. You can tell me an apple is an orange, but it’s not. You can tell me 2+2=5, but when you’re bank account’s overdrawn - don’t look at me 🤓😂😜 Great conversation!

[@dabigd1860]

@Derrick Pete PREACH, BROTHER! I HEAR YOU! But unfortunately our society is moving toward a place where they are saying 1+1 no longer equals 2. That a man can be a woman and a woman can be a man. That there is no definitions to anything anymore. Other than your credit score that is.

[@Neo-op3iz]

@@dabigd1860 the transphobia is crazy.

[@itsRobBass]

I think you can sacrifice for someone w/sacrifing yourself

[@fans-ed1td]

This sounds very reminiscent of "marriage is between man and woman. We can't change the definition of marriage." Lol

[@JamalTateIsTheGreatest]

This was something… whew definitely can’t wait to see what other perspectives come out.. but I can say as a gay black man… there are a lot of men who date and enter relationships with multiple people at a time! I don’t see how they do it cause I can’t do it! So I agree monogamy isn’t the easiest thing for most men from my experience

[@sanelelembethe]

why is sexual relations with people outside his marriage "defining" who he is?

[@ras998]

Right!? First his says its who he is then he says sex is a small part of a relationship. Like then why is it so important then?

[@leodisconleyjr9475]

Me personally that's all I have been in monogamous relationship, I have been with my Ex's for 25 years. He's been the only man that I have ever had relationship with in my adult life. So now being broken up for over 3 years, It's a different dynamic of finding your new self in a gay world that is highly sexual on a regular basis. Multiple partners as never turnt me on to even participate in, I don't desire Multiple sex partners!!!

[@dabigd1860]

@Obio. It is si wonderful and refreshing to see a channel by a black g4y man that focuses on black g4y men, their stories and issues. BUT sometimes i would like to know or hear WHERE WE STAND AS BLACK MEN when you take the "g4y" out of the equation. Or how do we feel about a number of topics when we don't allow the g4y part to assume the precedence. Like, as much as i would have liked to have thought that the "g4y" part of my identity would have allowed me an "escape hatch" from the realities of that other part of my identity, IT HASN'T. And even when i go into g4y circles, i am not magically "homogenized" into the larger mix. I am still seen as a "black guy" first before anything else.

[@akamr.doughnut1804]

SOME yelling!?!? lol

[@thoughtsandwords3029]

Whether monogamous or polyamorous, there is sacrifice of self. Anytime you have to consider another person's feelings, on any level, it's a sacrifice of self. Monogamy is only difficult if you don't want to be monogamous, or you think monogamy means Control.

[@RobertClay-fe3lz]

Monogomy is very important to me. I don't share period, thus, being committed to the person in whom one loves shows respect for the overall relationship.

[@KGeeSabotage]

Gee was dropping knowledge. I LOVE HIM!!!! This is my favorite episode.... well top 2. Him and his partner engage in uncomfortable conversations to get a full understanding of who I am with and deciding to still be together. They have created a healthy relationship that works for them.

[@robertcandage5345]

Gee has got his stuff together!!! Agree with him 100%. The key to a healthy relationship is knowing yourself, how you need to be respected, and finding someone who shares and compliments you so you can share and compliment them and always respectfully. Monogamy is a value that can be shared successfully but so are open relationships and Polyamoury. All can be healthy when healthy people with shared values connect. Great discussion, TY.

[@dereckwallace1428]

The only way I could justify that kinda of terms would be friends with benefits....and maybe get there that way...MAYBE LOL

[@stevenbilly769]

I need more of this cause I have some many questions ….. Great episode this is a stir of greens on thanksgiving dinner Chile 😂😂😂

[@manuteemane2465]

Open relationships are not relationships. It’s just two friends with benefits who really like each other but don’t wanna commit.

[@chrisb2844]

Obio I do love your chats, you are the best!

[@naut_nigel]

Have you done an episode on Marriage? I really wanna hear more QBIPOC perspectives on that concept.

[@KevinETaylor]

Why do we ALWAYS make that 20% about someone and something OUTSIDE OF YOUR MARRIAGE, when that 20% could be WORK and a shift OR being your best version?! Why do people always punk out and not show all the way up IN THEIR LIFE when the 20% is about TAKING A MONTH to go to Africa on your own sojourn or you saved up and have a great 401K and now you want to buy a food truck and live out your dream as a chef? Someone ISN'T your 100% because our DAILY WORK is to strive to get OURSELVES to 100% and someone can't get you to A PLACE YOU'VE NEVER BEEN!

[@quameofori5451]

I agree with gee small. True, pure,"agape love" is accepting a person flaws and all and not giving them conditions on when and how they'll fall out of your good books.

[@Shell1425]

People always want to pull out that archaic bull to justify promiscuity. A relationship encompasses all sectors! Mental, emotional and physical. If your partner is not doing so, you need to work on it or move on if nothing improves. Not just go and sleep with random people to fulfill a carnal desire!

[@kkain123]

I love Gee and Juan! They are one of the first black gay couples I've seen examples of. I hope to meet them one day. For everyone saying Gee is yelling, that is how he expresses himself.

[@mle6501]

They are not an example to me. When you get into a relationship, you will make sacrifices period. It is not all good. That’s the beauty of love, you fall down but you lift each other up, not fuck other people because you want your 20% of freedom.

[@marcusmateo8890]

Earth is ghetto i wanna leave Somebody beam me up yeah im out on the street By the corner store you know the one on 15th Got a bright shirt on so cannot miss me

[@KCNwokoye]

Everything in life is about self control, self discipline, self enlightenment and commitment that creates value and leads to joy, peace of mind and fulfillment. Anything you do that doesn't lead to self-fulfillment then what is the point of doing it? Life is about attracting into your life the things that create value, peace of mind and self-fulfillment to you including being in a romantic relationship, the work you do and any lifestyle that you desire. This principle applies to anything that we value and that includes intimate relationships but not limited to it. This applies to food, work, sex, relationships and everything that we decide to explore, experience and enjoy in life. If you want to be in a committed romantic relationship whether monogamous or polygamous then you should have the self-discipline to see it through and maintain the commitment that you have agreed to. When you decide that self-discovery and self-control is not something that you want to exercise in life including in your romantic relationship, then that is also a decision that you should make to yourself and to the person you want to create a relationship with. If you want to be in a monogamous relationship to continue your quest to realize self-discovery and self-fulfillment then It's all about deciding the values that works best for you and that you want to exercise and maintain. Then find someone who also shares those values. This can be in a polygamous or monogamous relationship. Just be honest about what you really want and communicate those key elements to whomever you decide to share your life with.

[@PLBraxton]

Obio- I agree with you. There should be some level of communication if one partner chooses to go outside of their relationship. Mainly to give them a choice. Stealing their partner’s choice is obviously a self serving move. For example: Many people were never given a choice ended up contracted STDs or their partners ended up with children outside of their relationship. Is there anything wrong by simply discussing specific matter(s) you feel are lacking or unfulfilled in your relationship, before you go off to be fulfilled with other people?

[@leodisconleyjr9475]

I believe that some men just enjoy being with multiple sex partners, There's some men who truly desire monogamy, and they want to be in a relationship that has the potential to grow beyond the physical comfort of sex. You just need to know who you are really are connecting with because misrepresentation is real!!!

[@priincelegit1336]

Get to know a person enough to know you’re getting someone like minded. Monogamy isn’t for everyone.

[@jasperdilincoln2341]

Where and when is Part 2 coming out?

[@coriprentis]

That is true love bro!

[@kjdnyhmghfvb]

Do You... Does He... Do We...

[@chantoya17]

Obio's reactions had me weak 😂

[@John-wd5ic]

This is So much B.S. !! I BELIEVE PEOPLE THAT DO THAT TYPE OF THING ARE PLAYING WITH FIRE.

[@grayscar05]

What I see is a hurt and broken man that can't bring himself to to say what we all are saying which is open relationships are a failure and unhealthy, I don't care how many people were/are doing it. Millions of people smoke cigarettes, don't make it smart or healthy. All these mental gymnastics he doing ain't changing a thang ... you're in a failed relationship and there are better relationships to be had. The number of years ya'll been together don't even matter at this point ... ya'll just roommates/business partners that have sex on occasion ... it's not a genuine loving and healthy relationship.

[@KevinETaylor]

"WE ARE MEANT TO CONNECT WITH OTHER PEOPLE" does not have to be about sex. When we bring sex into it, it becomes problematic. FLIRTING IS NOT SEX. SEX IS SEX.

[@keiquesim]

I think a distinction needs to be made between having a desire to be intimate with people outside of your relationship and being who you are. Your desire to have sex with other people isn’t who you are. The guest speak seems to be trying to lump those two things together as fruit, but they are apples and oranges. You can 100% be who you are and still choose not to have sex with other people. In my opinion, being who you are doesn’t mean you have the right to do whatever you want, when in a relationship. I can go on and on but I digress.

[@musictalent1986]

When will part 2 come out? I enjoyed this conversation. We have to be open minded here.

[@EP-nk5wm]

Part 2 was released today 💯

[@musictalent1986]

@@EP-nk5wm I watched and I loved it. I’m team Gee on this topic….. This is conversation a lot of people are not ready to have, but people should in my opinion.

[@EP-nk5wm]

@@musictalent1986 100% agree w/ Gee. This type of dialogue should be normalized. I thought it was just me. So glad they did a part 2

[@herbsaint636]

I agree with him. I think most men aren't nurturing but some can be very nurturing.

[@dabigd1860]

@HerbSaint to be 'nurturing' is the woman's role. A man's job is to be the 'teacher' 'provider' and to impart survival skills and strategies.

[@herbsaint636]

@@dabigd1860 let's see. Websters definition of nurturing -verb, care for and encourage the growth or development of. You mean to tell me men can't do that? We have to understand that although we are wires by nature to do specific tasks does not mean you can't perform the role of the opposite sex .

[@shelbytaylor1052]

Why is this only 12 min ???????

[@yeye3295]

Love the challenging questions you ask Obio!!....Gee relationship don't make sense to me 😱, yet his relationship serves him and he's husband.🥱

[@cortezsantiago7927]

There are TOO many diseases out there to be playing around like this. Gay men especially are at risk for stds , so to play around like this is wild to me .

[@SirDave]

The big issue with this whole subject is the generalization. We need to stop saying what's natural or unnatural for all, and just be specific about what's natural to us as individuals, and other individuals like us. For some of us monogamy is natural and easy, and for others it is in.

[@MulaniJackson]

We’re about to create some space

[@kjdnyhmghfvb]

In more ways than one...or two

[@TuscanWonder]

There’s something sadistic about my enjoying rejecting open couples from there advances.

[@purposeful49418]

"He knows his place in my life....." Wow!

[@breybrey2dajizzay]

Even in Africa, men get to have more than 1 wife. I personally choose to stay single to avoid all the shit

[@boazparker721]

Parts of him I can agree with and parts I can’t I personally think if I’m going to be with you it’s just us and no one else

[@matts1392]

I'm with Gee on a lot of this, but not for exactly the same reasons. I think relationship style is a kind of orientation, like sexuality and gender identity. It's something you're hard wired for. For me personally, I think I'm hard wired to be non-monogamous and polyamorous. I don't want someone to sacrifice parts of themselves for me anymore than I want to sacrifice parts of myself. Like any other relationship, it takes communication and compromise. Where I differ from Gee is in the belief that monogamy is unnatural to all men. I don't agree. As an orientation, I think some men, and some women, are hard wired for monogamous relationships. I am just not one of them. And all of that is ok as long as everyone involved is open and honest with themselves and each other. That's a big if though.

[@javawatson1350]

Loved this episode ❤

[@PHlyestofNerds]

I think some of you mistake monogamous relationships where people cheat on each other as “open relationships.” I prefer monogamy myself (at this time) but truthfully (like gender roles), it’s cover to avoid true honesty and vulnerability. You don’t have to truly identify and articulate your precise needs.

[@Keonny77]

We talking sex... come on... that's the issue

[@kylewambot2664]

Really. I expect thats why it may be a part 2

[@Keonny77]

@@kylewambot2664 it seems they went all around the block with out focusing on the specific topic of sex...

[@vaf1824]

I feel monogamy isn’t for everyone period. Men or women. I just feel like if you want to be open both parties should want to participate. Not just one person settling. Find someone that wants the same things.

[@terrancemaloney29]

I love Gee. And I agree with everything he said.

[@miguelshabaev4315]

What works for them works for THEM

[@truerthanyouknow9456]

Guys, this is anthropology… without apology.

[@warrendyer3756]

I agree with Obio , however, Gee has valid points as well, I think they need a person in the middle to bridge the gap in the conversation.

[@gregorygaucin5964]

So much contradiction and selfishness, in this whole conversation.

[@LifeOnCoach]

✌🏾

[@kennethowen3020]

Obio, Anyone in a relationship with someone that feels confined to being monogamous, is only in a relationship, and not in love. They may be in deep like of the person they are in a relationship with , but they are not in love with that person they are in a relationship with. Like is not love. Neither is lust love. Both like and lust are fleeing. Love is what’s everlasting. Love will last even after death. Love is also the controller of lust. So, all in an open relationship willingly, and all in a relationship finding it to be a struggle not to cheat and creep, are not in love. Because, love is known to make people do some crazy things. Like passing on every opportunity to get it on with some fine ass man or woman, all because that crazy thing called love that they're in, somehow renders them uninterested in sucking, licking, sticking, and sitting on someone other than the person they are in love with.

[@grayscar05]

Wow, this is so good. Stealing this

[@rondaniels985]

Gee is definitely a SCORPIO ♏️

[@ccdiez8326]

some folks just want someone to hold them down but they also want to Fu** whatever they want on the side too..... if you're both cool with that then there's no prob...but XD.....

[@joannmcfarlane9788]

DO WE ALL WANT OUR 100%?? IKTR!

[@pridan94]

If you don't believe in monogamy. Stay away from me.

[@deepnation10009]

Interesting conversation. On the real someone like Gee is a complete no for me.

[@centaur7564]

💚

[@ras998]

Brother Obio I love your content however this guest aint it. He is very unintelligible and instead of educating folks on polyamory and how it might be for them, he just talks in circles. So many gay men live polyamory but refuse the label and its ethical components. Its very confusing and misleading.

[@VernonNickersonSCHOOLCOACH]

1.) Why is the guest yelling? 2.) WHO is the guest other than very loud and married for 13 years? 3.) All he is yelling about is apparently what he and his partner have agreed to have. 4.) Five…ten years down the road he announces with his partner nowhere in sight what his polyamory goals are for his life. 5.) Bottom line/at the end of the day, he is entitled to share his experiences, 6.) What is troubling is he advocates for his opinions, unique experiences and perspectives to become everyone’s (again the attempting to literally drown out/diminish? / dismiss? / discount/ any other experience is disabling and disempowering, in my considered opinion. 7.) Perhaps, OBIO, the audience would have been better served if Virgil had come on solely to talk about whatever business he and his partner would like people to patronize. For the record, my closeted bisexual father who apparently lived as Virgil advocates, raped me at age 3, gave me herpes as a result, and in an insane fit of animus/jealousy, arranged for me to have a medically unnecessary right radical orchiectomy at a small private NJ hospital, Barnert Memorial Hospital Center in Paterson, NJ. As the readers might imagine, I am an advocate for 100% consensual sex 100% of the time and monogamy is the only thing I would be comfortable with, because of the physical (risk of STDs) and psychological health risks ( eg, violation of trust/ trustworthiness ). I would not want to be anywhere near this guest, his partner, or their business for any reason at all. So, at the end of this post, I am glad that I was allowed to witness why CAVEAT EMPTOR ( buyer, beware) are still my words to live by.

[@amaniaman7818]

You probably shouldn't be your life on that one

[@frenchygyal]

U such a good looking brother Tall muscular masculin i got a question ❓ Would u date a trans woman ?

[@EP-nk5wm]

I 100% agree with Gee. Men are not biologically designed to be limited to one sexual partner. The construct or practice of monogamy, imo, is an extension of our ego. Rooted in all the wrong things, like “ownership” of your partner, jealousy, insecurity, low self-esteem, lack of self-worth. I believe the sexual behavior pattern we see across all monogamous relationships (cheating) is indicative of a larger issue. Plainly stated, the shit ain’t working. Me personally, I’m team poly 🙌🏾, for now lol

[@xamanbro826]

There is no longer a excessive, biological need to reproduce, so this logic is flawed in a modern sense.

[@EP-nk5wm]

@@xamanbro826 That seems a bit subjective, but two ‘ideas of thought’ can exist in the same space. Right?

[@manuteemane2465]

You are wrong.

[@stevenlee2484]

Argh this paints such an ugly picture of queer people & their inability to be monogamous. The entire idea of men being incapable of monogamy is FALSE. Every1 wants to feel safe & secure in relationships, that’s why we gravitate towards them as human beings. Breaking monogamy (willingly or via cheating) breaks that & some couples never had/wanted/needed that safety so its easier to break.

[@artprice4847]

I just don't understand open relationship from my experience they usually don't work

[@elisobais]

So people are still delusional thinking monogamy is natural. Ok! NEXT TOPIC. 🙄

[@WalterLeeHamptonII]

maybe it isn't natural for YOU!

[@elisobais]

@@WalterLeeHamptonII It’s not to 90% plus of men. And I SAID WHAT I SAID. Y’all keep lying to yourselves and people you claim to love. 😏😏😏

[@WalterLeeHamptonII]

@@elisobais maybe you are just lying to yourself? To justify your sexual; behavior. but It's cool. DO YOU BOO!!

[@johnvalentina]

Whether monogamy is natural is irrelevant. Folks do things everyday that are not natural, like work 40 hours a week or run a business to get the desired end result, money. What is relevant is decide what type of relationship works for you and find another person/people that wants the same type of relationship. I don't care if it's monogamy, polyamory or open. The first rule of Economics is there's not such thing as a free lunch. Everything you could possibly want in life has an opportunity cost. What am I giving up to get what I want/desire.

[@ayoq9956]

@@johnvalentina THIS right here SIR JORDAN! THIS is thee ONE! This is gonna preach into ETERNITY!

[@gregorygaucin5964]

So much contradiction and selfishness, in this whole conversation.