Sad Girl Days Are Over

SOCIAL MEDIA ☞
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[@trash-raccoon]

to me, it is the self conception of 'sad girl' that is self obsessed, not the sadness itself. this aestheticised relationship to sadness is a coping strategy that feeds into sadness, and becoming more outward focused will help with that, but overcoming the maladaptive coping strategy ≠ overcoming its root. I also think asserting that happiness is more noble is the flip side of this self obsessed relationship with one's own emotions, since feelings don't have an inherent moral value - they only affect you. this video is mostly good advice for people who have the specific relationship to sadness that's described (I used to too), but I don't think it gets at what sadness fully is, just one aspect that makes it a vicious cycle for some people, so 'sadness is self obsession' is just way too narrow to be applied as a blanket statement - I would say more 'sadness can lead to self obsession which then makes it difficult to break away from sadness' (less pithy I guess). also sidenote but I think it is far more self centred to scold a suicidal person for potentially 'leaving you behind' than it is to be suicidal from unbearable sadness.

[@ViviFadinha]

I agree with you, and wow, that last point about a suicidal person was something that really needed to be said.

[@mtzauriq]

you actually understand everything though

[@HeavenSentHoney]

This was great to read! I appreciate your take on this! Maybe the idea of pride, identity, and self obsession should be taken advantage of: converted as a way to achieve happiness. Like you said the “nobility” of happiness rather than sadness is still part of the same self obsession, but in the way I deploy it, I’m using it for a less destructive life. Self esteem and ego and placement in the world are an enormous part of our mental health and daily life. I guess it’s better to have a high opinion of one’s self because they are happy rather than being proud of their illness. Instead the pride is for their recovery. And like you said this video does not encapsulate the whole topic of depression and it certainly wasn’t meant to! For example I don’t discuss how ego, identity, and pride have very little to do with people who have chemical imbalances, people who literally survive off of medication because they are so terrified of what their body is doing to them. I am speaking about people who have an awful perception of themselves and residually their life/others. And though this may not be something wrong with how their brain functions, it is indeed something that can cause them to take their own life. The mind is a powerful (and fascinating) evolution for this reason. This incredible power can be utilized in a positive way instead, if one chooses. And this applies to those who have sadness superficially or detrimentally. That is the message. Also the comment about leaving someone behind by taking their own life is not my own opinion, it is the opinion of Eve in the film. Although it makes sense in the film because their love has spanned hundreds of years. For Adam to take his life, is to pretend that Eve was never an important figure in it. Which is why the whole thought of suicide irritates Eve, because their love is so rare, and Adam is (insanely!) managing to overlook it in this fatal consideration.

[@addangel]

the unhealthy aesthetics of sadness made me delete my tumblr account a decade ago

[@trash-raccoon]

@ ah the happiness is noble thing makes more sense as taking pride in your recovery. I'm just wary of assigning these kinds of values to feelings because its easy to follow the argument all the way to "depression is a moral flaw" (not that youre saying that, but its a logical endpoint thats obv not helpful to anyone). it wasnt very fair of me to assume you were speaking about depression in general for everyone, i was taking your thumbnail as an overarching thesis statement which maybe it wasnt lol. I do kind of disagree that that awful self perception is what leads people to take their own lives though. i think a person without deeper issues wouldnt construct themself this way, so theyre not a separate group from people with chemical imbalances or whatever other serious issue. the harm from this way of coping is for sure a contributing factor, but the deeper issue is always the driving force here, imo. (i also think this of things like addiction and eating disorders). one can kick the coping strategy and be left with sadness thats still completely unmanageable and morphs into something different. that's where i take issue with the adam scene as used to support the point, because it only gets at relieving this symptom but presents this symptom as the root of his desire to take his own life, which i just dont really think is how it works. I shouldnt have assumed you agreed with eve's viewpoint on being left behind, but i feel that couldve been better expressed in the video. thanks for such a thoughtful response!

[@annaaraujo8611]

i saw a tweet a couple days ago that said: you really have to be committed to noticing the beauty of life or you’ll really be consumed by terror. and i think it summarizes a lot of the things you said

[@HeavenSentHoney]

At its inception Beauty is a flight from fear! I am reading Clarice Lispector's biography, and Benjamin Moser talks about how mysticism is always present in times of crisis (Clarice is sometimes fabled to fall in line with the Jewish mystics, and she was born during the pogroms/famine in Ukraine during the 1st World War). I can't help but think that beauty and mysticism, believing in something greater and elusive, are one and the same.

[@Witchmee]

You know whats weird? Alot of the time, I'll end up THINKING that im miserable. Thinking of bad memories etc... but then i ask myself how i feel. (I end up having to ask myself that because i actually tend to ignore my emotions) And when i focus on how i actually FEEL rather than my thoughts. I realize Im actually comfortable and perfectly happy. The bad "feelings" were coming from my thoughts and not my feelings.

[@HeavenSentHoney]

That is a great point my friend.

[@KRYSTAL.BALLS_88]

i love this,i have a screenshot.of this i m gonna pull up now everytime.i start pulling myself down,thank you

[@sweetnathings]

whoa, i have to engrave this in my brain i think

[@GemAnointed]

Yes very much, I learned that thoughts are like clouds... they come, they go, they are constant and change shape. But they are not our instant reality thoughts can also be chosen, as someone who is healing from cptsd and severe childhood trauma the negative thoughts are a given choosing the thoughts that are healing and take me on a healing path are a choice.

[@KrisMullein]

Fantastic realization! Thank you for sharing.

[@melonwaternom]

I feel like as we get older and have to brace more and more pain in our lives, we get enveloped in it. But as you grow further into an adult you understand that pain and life are interwoven. When you accept that, you are free to choose joy, despite everything. Pain will be there, but you get to focus on what is important for you, like living.

[@HeavenSentHoney]

well said love

[@quartzidot4202]

​@@HeavenSentHoneyYour advice is narcissistic and not helpful.

[@lia_overload]

​@quartzidot4202 what part exactly is narcissistic?

[@MightyGabba]

@@quartzidot4202how is it narcissistic when she's saying she's letting go of the narcissism that is inherently chosen to be consumed in melancholy about one's life or the pains of life?

[@stellarose1980]

I completely agree with this; I feel as I’ve aged that this has become apparent. Super glad Celine has made this video and put this experience into words for us - she’s so real for this

[@Cinnamon.grl.]

People tend to mistake your happiness as you being simple minded and unaware of the pain in the world. They're almost offended by your happiness.

[@anna.rarytska]

❤

[@lindsayt7950]

💯

[@syndeybinch]

This actually more important and relevant than I realized

[@mtzauriq]

And with all the right they are. I dont know about you but what would you call a person who doesn't care? 🧐

[@margaritap.9459]

@@mtzauriq I see that reading and comprehension is hard, so I'll help you: OP was saying that people tend to mistakenly think that being happy means you're unaware. And here you are, being those people and proving OP's point. OP never said be ignorant and blissful. You decided that that's what they meant. Here's a thing, you can be happy and you can be very well informed. You can be happy and you can be volunteering. You can be happy and you can be politically active/advocate for causes. These things aren't mutually exclusive. Sadly, too many people choose to be so "awake" to the sad and cruel realities of life that they can't shut up about it. Do they actually do anything about it, like a teeny bit? Usually, no, except maybe add a flag du jour to their name on social media. But they surely bitch about others being not tune in enough.

[@mariana6891M]

Nowadays, real happiness is a kind of rebellious act.

[@Tweedilydum93]

Absolutely! That or even just contentment

[@quartzidot4202]

You sound very childish and unrealistic. Life is supposed to be tough. Why are you guys surprised?

[@chichichu]

@@quartzidot4202 no it's not. life is how you make it. life isn't "supposed" to be anything

[@mariana6891M]

​@@quartzidot4202 😂

[@momoz1]

@@quartzidot4202 you clearly weren’t around when the romanticisation of sad girls were thing. It was years of women glorifying their self-destruction and thinking it was some sort of rebellious act. Maybe at the time it was. but now true happiness and truth is a rebellious act in a world that wants to keep you miserable with echo chambers and algorithms designed to keep you angry. using that is purposefully to keep you at a low state which makes you are easier to control.

[@addangel]

I used to do this thing where I told myself “I will do this but I reserve the right to be sad during it”. So I would be totally in my feelings during a beautiful walk, looking at a nice sunset etc. I acted like being sad was a badge of honor and an act of defiance, like I was being forced to experience good things but prided myself on not enjoying them. It took me ages to realize what an ungrateful perspective that was. Now I do the opposite, and take the time to appreciate the small things, even when I’m down. No more taking life for granted.

[@Hanie29]

it’s such a liberating experience to remove all those labels and ideas we put on ourselves and maybe- just live. and feel that all is. at the end of the day, we are not (not just) our ideas. thank you for bringing this awareness 🖤

[@DeeJuusan]

11:27 bad things happen. good things are sought

[@deinbot9536]

I think it's still important to acknowledge that depression ( and other mental illnesses ) are like a disease that rot every good aspect in your life. A person with depression will go out for dinner with their friends to have fun - but every single laughter and smile is tainted by our illness. Even when we seek out good things, we can't enjoy them because we are assaulted by our illness every second of the day. It's worth the battle of course and a positive experience can change a lot, but still, it's not that easy I appreciate the sentiment behind this video, but it's a little oversymplified and ignores the complexity of mental illness and how it affects the quality of our life and our search of happiness. Also, there is a difference between choosing to live in melancholy and being depressed as a result of trauma and life circumstances. One is not like the other, which is why melancholic people can decide to stop and say "I quit!" , meanwhile mentally ill people can't quit.

[@venicetoledo517]

self hyperfixation kills the soul

[@sahphie]

Something I've been coming to realize lately 🤌🏼

[@mtzauriq]

the Self in nowday times isnt about ego anymore, is capitalism making us behave like brands.

[@zolawilliams1]

I was honestly just talking about this at dinner with a friend last week! That at some point, sadness starts to feel almost... egotistical? I say this because I experienced it myself. At some point I was like, wow I'm just focusing on myself!! What if I did something like volunteered or fostered a pet...?

[@addangel]

yes! I often think modern man is more unhappy than its ancestors partly because we dedicate so much time to introspection and over analysis. people literally didn’t have the time to constantly ask themselves “but am I truly happy?” or “what is my purpose? am I living up to my potential” while working the fields. social media doesn’t help either, it’s literally a lens constantly pointing back at ourselves. it’s exhausting

[@issaayoo]

someone very close to me passed away recently and i’ve been suffering a lot because i can’t stop thinking about what i could’ve done differently, after wishing to be happy as a form to honor him. this video is like heaven sent.

[@HeavenSentHoney]

I am sorry to hear this. I am relieved to know that you are in a better place with this loss now. Good luck going forward and keep your chin up babe.

[@leilathomas2536]

How can you honor someone by simply being happy? Genuine question

[@HeavenSentHoney]

@ It is a celebration of life, of their life.

[@gabrielabrazil6163]

I need intelligence, good use of my time, words to speak, pleasure to feel and discipline to consume what I want instead of what is easy to absorb.

[@lexcult]

do NOT send this to anyone with active depression

[@danielemaximo1998]

this totally makes sense but the feeling she describes in the video can also be a symptom of depression or "unhealed/untreated" depressive disorder.

[@kooliada]

FINALLY someone said it 😭 this is not it for a person who has depression

[@mrfrog9869]

Can i know why?

[@inesfinesse3165]

​@@mrfrog9869because you can't control mental illness and it might make them feel much worse

[@ewno1566]

Diagnosed with depression here! we're not a monolith..

[@part-thymer9995]

“how real can a video essay get” the video essay: love the way you worded the things may of us feel and the way you delivered them: the soft background track, the light, the calmness and minimal cuts, the appropriate effortless quotes, even the accessories jingle and the track fading out, you’ve captured something cool and long-awaited 👑

[@user-kz9xv8gm3d]

i feel the same way, it's about the contrast after having experienced so much suffering that makes you appreciate the beauty so much more, once you make that choice to embrace it. thank you for articulating it so well.

[@Emelllll64]

it might sound controversial but we really do have a lot of choice over how we feel and what's more is we can be addicted to sadness and struggle. For me I came to breaking point where I was absolutely sick of beating myself up and feeling sad so I eliminated all things sad from my life including watching the news, sad music, upsetting, dark and disturbing movies, avoiding negative people etc and its made a huge difference. now I am cultivating things habits/a life that brings me joy.

[@GemAnointed]

I concur

[@lolizorz]

I'm a straight guy, but I watch your videos like they were made for me. Always very relatable.

[@romerobjuancarlos]

Same, and when you're out in the world it shows.

[@Anna36936]

Knowing that I can always come back to my natural happiness, makes it easier to embrace my moments of sadness fully

[@ghostlotte]

the timing is so perfect. needed this

[@nini-gu3vs]

if i remember correctly one of the very initial videos i watched on your channel talked about the woman starring into a distance and how she looks more mysterious and how people might want to know more, i wanted to follow but couldn't after a few ups and downs in life i have now become a very expressive person and i love that part of me, what i think ruins the bubbly vibe is when one starts overtalking about themselves, i am glad to see you had your own awakening on the topic. a person who laughs all the times projects this vibe onto others around them, they make them feel at ease, almost no question of anxiety and even makes them feel powerful and carefree. i will always love to belong in this category

[@Moccsnosocks]

The timing of your video is wild - my mind and heart has been on this transmutation of hardship and suffering into my evolution, my growth. Letting pain transform my heart, soften it, knowing the pain of loss, grief, so that I may see the world for all its gifts. The way you put it with fruit ripening around "the pit" is such a beautiful metaphor. Thank you for being a mirror to so many on this journey...I think that's why you hear often that your videos are perfectly timed. Then again, we are all operating in a wider field of consciousness. When we heal our hearts, we heal the people around us, which is why solitude and self work is so important but this is so different from isolation and being self-focused. Wishing everyone who watches this video the courage to make the leap to love themselves so we may keep loving one another and healing the world around us with beautiful hearts..from the inside out

[@HeavenSentHoney]

Yeah! I think many of us are on a similar path and coming to the same realizations, so that’s probably the divine timing thing! If we are in this community together, we ought to share experiences and courses of action! Very cool.

[@quartzidot4202]

​@@HeavenSentHoneyNo, you're a woman full of it who has no idea what real sadness or pain is. Don't force people to be happy. Including yourself.

[@l.m.n.2338]

This is so on point. I still have angst but I try to express it through creative outlets. What I'm trying to leave behind is the feeling of hopelessness and general vibe of melancholia. It is the mature approach to choose joy. It is making your mindset rise above the chaos. We can only control what we can control. But a lot IS in our control or at least how we react to the things that aren't.

[@oneirically]

I understand what you were trying to say but I don't think it can be applied to mental illnesses like depression since being depressed doesn't boil down uniquely to being sad, but multiple things like for example anhedonia, which reduces or completely turns off how much pleasure you get from things. In this case I don't think that you can say that happiness is a choice, I can choose to engage in scenarios that are more likely to affect me positively, but I can't choose whether or not it'll bring me happiness like it once did. I never understood the tortured artist trope for this reason, when I'm depressed it's when I'm the least creative cause no matter what I do nothing feels fulfilling.

[@winstonleak1203]

i definitely think a lot of people mix up the feeling of being depressed and the feeling of being sad. i make a lot of art when im sad, but when im depressed i have trouble even thinking about art. so i think it's just misusing the emotional description of depression! i think a lot of words lose their meaning when they're thrown around

[@HeavenSentHoney]

Depression has an insane scale! Extreme pessimism can belong to depression, anhedonia can maybe a symptom, chemical balances in the brain, trauma or grief can be the base for depression. I am speaking about a specific kind of sadness and a version of depression here. For some people depression is something they need a change of perception for, others need medication. The sadness and depression I am speaking of in this video is deeply associated with identity and the perception of their surroundings/the world.

[@HeavenSentHoney]

I think saying that mental illness is a disease entirely out of someone’s control as a blanket statement is harmful too because it ignores the individuation of the illness and the unique approach each person with the illness may need in order to recover. Hope that clears things up!

[@HeavenSentHoney]

And I remember artists like Rothko for example, an alcoholic, never painted when he was drunk and depressed. Only when he felt well enough. So I totally get what you mean by the level of severity and its symptoms

[@maegananderson4983]

i don't think any sort of medicine or self-reflection has gotten me the closest, as your video did, to solving the self-pity and learned helplessness i've developed from ptsd. i'm not even sure i've ever left a youtube comment in my life on a creator's video. but your grief analogy did so much for me. i didn't realize how scared i was to move on from "my backstory." i didn't want to move on because i was scared it'd mean it didn't matter that much, or that it wasn't actually real. but the growing around it like a fruit analogy is just amazing. thank you. i'm going to do some work on this tonight.

[@RadicalEd57]

this whole video just came off as shallow and pseudo-intellectual. and seeing people on Twitter going "yeah i've always thought depression and suicide were selfish and narcissistic!" in response to it just proves this shit is harmful.

[@syntheticsilkwood2206]

yes somebody's own experiences and feelings are shallow and pseudo-intellectual She's not saying that depression is a choice but trying to get better IS And it was inspiring in a comforting way You finding (actually making up) something bitter in such a positive video says more about you than her

[@HeavenSentHoney]

Honestly I loathe the word "narcissistic" being used so flippantly today. I don't use that word and don't condone that others use it in this conversation. Many people don't fully understand the things I say, and that can lead to negative and positive outcomes strangely. But one of the terms that people still misunderstand though I tried to expose its nuance in the video is "Self-obsession" or "selfishness". Those words I think have dual meanings. The self-obsession I speak about is the compulsion to reserve oneself to their inner world, which is dangerous in ways that exist outside of depression too! Unfortunately I understand how rhetoric can be inimical when those who express it do not understand its meaning. But self-obsession here is not meant to be an insult. And those that are using "selfish" or "self-obsession" in that way are not helping anything! Here I ask the "self-obsessed" person to come out of themselves, to come back to the world, where aid, beauty, possibility, and hope are. The self-obsessed life is a solipsistic one, which can often lead to meaninglessness and hopelessness. I'm asking them to exist beyond themselves, see themselves in the things around them. Though this is not the goal, but here I even encourage people to take the pride originally associate with their illness and to redirect it towards happiness. If that's some that can help keep someone from ending their life, then so be it!

[@deinbot9536]

16:12 im sorry, but equating self-harm and suicide with self-obsession & selfishness is super insensitive and ignores the reality of people that suffer with it! It's an escapism and a coping mechanism, suicide is the last resort of someone who sees no way out anymore! Please do your research or ask actually affected people!

[@HeavenSentHoney]

Don’t be sorry. And yes I have very close friends of mine who have been affected by depression. You wouldn’t know that and it’s fine. “Self-obsession” does sound harsh, but it does describe the persons compulsion to isolate themselves, to think there is no hope, or nothing outside themselves which could penetrate that inner pit of sorrow. The obsession is hearing one’s own thoughts repeated endlessly in their head. It’s inward fixation, even when the initial harm came from external forces. I stand by the statement that someone can literally think themselves to death, and when they do, they feel entirely alone in the universe. That is a “selfish” feeling. Not selfish like I think you are conceited or vapid, but selfish like you cannot be freed from your own perspective, which aims to destroy you. Hope that clarifies things a bit.

[@deinbot9536]

@HeavenSentHoney Then im sorry for making that assumption. I understand what you were trying to say better now. But still, in my opinion, hearing the words 'selfish' and 'self-obsessed' for having suicidal thoughts is a slap in the face. It just further guilt-trips depressed people and makes them feel even worse about themselves. And it makes it seem like it is their fault for not being able to free themselves. :/ That's how it came across for me at least

[@HeavenSentHoney]

⁠@@deinbot9536don’t get me wrong, I believe in putting power in the hands of the person. And I do seriously believe that so many people want to be sad, choosing to linger in that so long that the insane idea of ending their life becomes an option. While I mention that the idea of sadness and suicide is “self obsessed” and that may not sound too cute, the better part of this video is showing them they have a way out. Either through shifting the obsession towards happiness or foregoing your identity and simply existing. I don’t believe we should think people are helpless or that we should rule out the prospect that their illness is a part of their identity and ego. If anything, if you want to cling to your emotions as part of who you are, then this video explains that you can continue to do that and find identity in happiness instead. Happiness that saves you from ideas like suicide or a lifetime of depression. Or you let that go. And just “be”.

[@gtg488w]

She is not the only one who has realized this. Many actual suicidal people have also realized this. This is even standard knowledge in programs like AA, NA, where so called experts and people who have long studied and/or have been depressed themselves, have had the most input on the making of those programs. Depression is very often an unhealthy obsession with self and your fleeting feelings. It can be an obsession with only recognizing the worst in yourself, obsessing about your inferiority. Most people have a combination of inferiority and superiority complexes, and that is what cuts us off from human connection. It’s what keeps us holed up and alone. The solution for some becomes drug addiction, alcoholism, other deadly habits. And it is shown in the actions taken in programs like this that the solution is the opposite of selfishness. To get out of self, and to be of service to others is literally the solution for addiction, that has worked on so many people. Whether it’s your first week or 10 years in the program, the direction given when you have a problem and start spiraling, is to immediately call someone else and ask how they are doing, or go help someone worse off than yourself. This actually has a spiritual healing effect for many reasons, and will lift your vibration higher than selfishness, scarcity, and self hatred over time. Because for many drug abuse occurs from no longer being able to tolerate the reality of being yourself, and to stop yourself from suicide you take something to shut down the self hating part of your brain. But it is “selfish”. The word self is there like 10 times. It is a harsh reality to some but if you don’t get immediately offended you will see that it is nothing to be ashamed of: it is just what happens when you are placed on earth in a 3D meat suit. Because everything in the physical appears finite , that’s what makes it physical, the visible boundaries separating everything. And therefore scarcity is introduced and that makes us insecure

[@corivelle]

@@HeavenSentHoneyBut it’s not a choice. People don’t wake up thinking “I’m going to focus on my sadness” it’s ingrained in their very way of thinking because mental illness isn’t a choice

[@aylmao6647]

I had to stay quiet for a while after this one. For about 5 years now, I’ve been struggling with struggling itself. I used to be a nerdy artsy girl, loved to read, loved to play music, to write, to create. Then life just got me. All the childhood trauma,nonexistent self esteem, borderline narcissism thinking im so different. Yeah I will always be neurodivergent, but that shouldnt define me. I became a hard drug user, and indulged in sadness, raves, darkness, days without sleep. And I thought I was all that, and then it ruined my life. Only recently I feel like I started to wake up from that and just BE, trying to stay sober now as much as possible, and making some progress. But then the sadness would come back cause it IS like heroin, its so hypnotising, and it lures you, you keep falling back into it, there is so much basis for it. But I started seeing how, if I could only let go of myself and my own shitty struggles, I could reconnect with my inner child and just live staring at the clouds, laying on grass, smell the delicious cake i baked and just laugh at nothing sometimes. The biggest help right now is going to the gym, cause there is just something so undeniable about feeling strong and calm within yourself after a good workout. This video perfectly encapsulated what I’m going through right now, and I drank every word. I dont wanna make this dramatic more than I already did, but thank you for being on KZbin. U are bright and u bring light and encourage awareness

[@jlyn002]

you quoting Abel is everythingg !!! especially kissland.. just an absolute favorite, a true gem of an album. recently been in and out of my depressive feelings either my reactive emotions to romantic relationships or immense grief that's built up, but more and more (with the passing of time) I find moments of freedom. The weight of sadness just gone for a time. Love your videos & all the ideas you present on your channel.. especially this one.

[@chimeraephemera]

i love you so much i could cry, but only tears of joy ❤️ you are a truly enlightened woman, and even in all my own studies i have learned so much from you still. 💕 will always support you!

[@rorocio93]

It's one of those things that's easy said than done. Now I can see it more clearly, how it is to live in the light. It's crazy because you can think that you're living in light, when in reality, darkness is being bigger than light, but then, if you're lucky and if you put effort, you can have much more light than you ever imagined. When you get to live that, you see this of the simplicity. Everything was this simple and I didn't see it... It's not our fault, that's the journey. So this shows that, life is ever-changing, you can feel stuck in an interiority that feels draining, to later finding that your interiority can become simpler. Like you said, I can understand and find inspiration on the melancholy of the past, or on my past versions, but sometimes I can't even comprehend what I was meaning back then, when it happened that while I was living that, writing about it, etc., it made so much sense to me...

[@alessiapodgorica1260]

Feels like we can see we are not static beings, we go with a flow of our emotions. We can be sad and then we can find joy in our life.

[@jmang5953]

This needs to go viral. Ty so much❣️🌹

[@RockDove5212]

😂😂😂😂😂

[@aria2aria2]

Do you have any youtubers you recommend who make content similar to you? I feel like you’re a once in a lifetime creator and it’s hard to find anyone discussing the topics you do. You have such a beauty and passion about you!

[@Sydneylr28]

came to comment the same thing!!! her existence on this platform is valuable. “Looking at life with Dee” reminds me of her and these kind of videos.

[@Tokilava]

As someone with BPD, learning so many people in the comments here can conceptualize they are romanticizing sadness, but not fully understanding that they are alienating the rest of us who are in a sense neurodivergently always going to be predisposed to being depressed is really fucked up. Yeah girlie let me just stop being self obsessed with how little effort was put into me as a child! Hyper vigilant nervous system due to unsafe environments? Don’t be overthinking silly, you’re harshing the vibe, we’re moving past that in 2025! Like why didn’t I think of “I’m depressed because I’m narcissistic!” I’ll just wake up early, make my bed, and hope the brain worms don’t make me smooch a pew pew~

[@winstonleak1203]

this video is not aimed towards you! i am in the same boat as you (im autistic and i have trouble focusing on the good) but ive met girls that genuinely just like the feeling of being depressed. like described. You're not alone, but your experiences aren't the only ones that a sad person can go through.

[@LinnetPlacidPoetry]

You know, a lot may have happened to you as a child which you did not deserve, but older you deserves to feel happiness, give it to her. Sure, they couldn't show up for you, but atleast you show up for you . Choosing happiness is not easy, it's harder than actually being sad, do the HARD THING.

[@veronabarberini3942]

“” and the day came when the risk to remain tight in a bud was more painful than the risk it took to blossom “”” ANÁIS NIN 🙏🌷🌈💕

[@HeavenSentHoney]

🖤

[@sKITTLESADDICT11]

spoken so well! I am 27 but I am feeling the beauty in observing beauty without attachment whereas I felt so attached to my sadness

[@griffjm]

Wonderful video!

[@HeavenSentHoney]

Thank you love. Much appreciated.

[@jmreyn]

God I adore this content. This resonates so hard. Lana’s ride music video was it for me. Tumblr single-handedly fueled my sad girl phase. I used to wonder if I didn’t have unmonitored internet access from a young age, would it have been different? But this deep yearning to dwell and feel bad about ourselves certainly isn’t a new phenomenon, the internet was simply a new medium. Books, music, movies, journaling existed before the internet. People have and always will find a way to brood and perpetuate their melancholy. I do wonder how the introduction of platforms, like tumblr and yt, affected this phenomenon though. Did that ease of access to media and feeling of connection and community popularize it? For the good or bad, both?

[@ChloAS]

I used to not smile because I thought my smile made me look ugly (awful thing to have thought, even if it were true). My life changed last year when I stopped being embarrassed by smiling and laughing. In ballet class or yoga, smiling because I got something right and it feels good, or laughing because I messed up. Laughing alone in my car listening to a podcast. Smiling at strangers, babies, and my friends. I am so much happier now, and that energy is reflected back to me.

[@sahphie]

Good for you girly 🥰❤️ keep on smiling

[@dibbless2145]

I AM SO HAPPY FOR YOU YYAYY you made me smile ❤

[@aielianna]

I want to surrender so bad but I just keep coming back to the same thinking patterns...it's rough but I do want to be unburdened

[@keda5502]

Ugh same.

[@anijones6734]

Me too

[@garbelim1641]

to be unburdened does not mean to be free... don't surrender to the sadness

[@aielianna]

@@garbelim1641 I mean surrender in the sense of letting things go and not sitting in the pain

[@SignalLostOverAndOverAgain]

You don’t need to know who you are. You just need to know who you are not. We are flexible, fluid, and dynamic. Thus never known. And never understood

[@feralblueprints]

Exactly what i, a terminally emo Pisces in the midst of a breakup, needed today 🙏💙 your videos are a religious experience, Celine, thank you.

[@maritheplatypus]

i was just crying about not being pretty enough for a pixie cut (which i really want) and you post this. genius timing

[@Rachelllllll2024]

Kim, there's people that are dying.

[@maritheplatypus]

@Rachelllllll2024 STOP LMAO i know but their issues dont diminish mine even if they're stupid. people cry over silly things and that's human 😔

[@Rachelllllll2024]

@@maritheplatypus I'm glad you have a good sense of humor. I have definitely cried over things like this too. 🥴 I hope you feel a lil better and I'm glad I made you laugh.

[@emilydiffey6832]

just wanted to say unless your trusted hairstylist says that a pixie cut would be the worst thing to happen to you, the only person who thinks you’re not pretty enough for it is you. get the haircut i bet you’ll look stunninggggg (and on the off off off chance it doesn’t, hair grows back!)

[@maritheplatypus]

@@emilydiffey6832 that's so sweet! thank u very much

[@sandramay2222]

It's truly amazing how my favourite youtuber ever also has the same love I had for Kiss Land! Love you Celine

[@Konjo_]

Ive had similar revelations recently - your words speak to my core. Thank you Celine!

[@roo.andthemoon]

Everything in this video hit me on a random day in my eighteenth year. I'm 21 now--it's actually been almost EXACTLY 3 years since the moment I'm referring to. I still have the journal entry. I read it sometimes

[@rorocio93]

I'm in the first year since I had this knowledge ❤️ I got it last year and I'm working on it this year. Well, I got it other times but not like last year, every time is bigger. I'm glad that you got to live three years now already with this, that is life expanding 😌 I'm excited to see what life is going to be.

[@lawsimp5895]

Being sad is easier than being happy. You often don't have to do much to end up in a sad state while to be happy you need to work for it....Learning to find joy in everything is much more difficult than making yourself feel bad, but it's much more rewarding in the end

[@onj32]

i feel the same way abt plastic surgery . things are not so deep that u need to go under the knife, u just think too much abt urself! it's narcissism on the other side of the coin

[@melissam3342]

Ur mind!!! I’ve never thought about it this way

[@EnterOsaka]

This video is SO on time for me, I was just researching how to deal with pain or suffering? I immediately researched how Buddhists deal with pain in practice. Dealing with pain involves accepting its presence as a natural part of life. Observe the sensations of pain but don't get caught up in it.

[@kalliehill1838]

I know this isn’t the point of the video at all, but when I saw the title I just thought to myself “I have clinical depression 😐”

[@clingstoatree]

Love this video. This topic reminds me so much of the novel Beware of Pity by Stefan Zweig. Zweig characterizes the fragility of our emotions and self inflicted pity perfectly, without spinning it into sheer romanticism

[@anamaria-db7pq]

I loved being melancholic as a teenager until I became clinically depressed. Then it was no fun anymore and since I am doing better I take no pleasure at all in being melancholic. Lana and The Weeknd were my king and queen, too btw (still are, kinda. thanks for reminding of Kissland, gonna listen to it now, without the pain from the past I actually enjoy it even more)

[@ccandeas]

This was really so beautifully said. I’ve been playing this tug of war game with myself, which has been a completely unconscious conflict of mine. You brought it to the forefront. I fetishized suffering, I desired to be unreachable and detached. I craved the experience of nausea. I have been so drunk in myself that I didn’t know which way was out. I’ve noticed this pattern but I only beat myself up for it. Which is… counterproductive. I dealt with the problem of suffering by causing myself more suffering. I don’t want to seek happiness for the aesthetic. It is heavy to commit yourself to the burden of melancholy. I will try to exercise this everyday. Contentment. I want so badly to be content.

[@LinnetPlacidPoetry]

I made a decision yesterday, to drop my worry and sadness, to choose to believe that there's happiness in the world and I got my share in that..... I dropped the sad music , I moved on from the glorious melancholic vibe of the depressed person... It's time to be happy

[@tya6983]

As a Buddhist, watching this reminds me of when I went to a temple to listen to Dhamma sermons and I really like it! :)

[@cartismarti3238]

Please don’t piss me off.

[@romerobjuancarlos]

This was an extremely Epicurean video, and he happens to be my favorite Greek philosopher. He's a no-frills, enjoy the puddles if it rains kind of guy. And according to what the know about him, he let women and slaves participate in the gatherings he hosted all the time to discuss philosophy. Wine and smiles, that's what we've got.

[@SimplyaMemberoftheAudience]

After self- actualization( which is a hard life stage to reach in the first place because of all the work that goes in to unlearning,daily combating life's circumstances, and remolding), just being what/who you are completely enough to forget all that work of trying to reach transcendence of just simply being is my Nirvana. ❤ I often always feel in a state of "in progress" instead of the state of "being" even now in my mid-30s. I have come a long way but still I have a lot to go.😢

[@Show_Love_Serina]

I believe this is the universe gifting me the inspiration for my first long form. Thank you, Beautiful Soul.🙏🏻

[@pepijimin7084]

"This idea that suffering is a part of who I am and my identity... I don't want that to be the source of my inspiration... though it will be always the pit" damn, that's a quote if I ever heard one.

[@kaitlynbynature]

I adore how you are able to put things into words so eloquently

[@sillycygnet]

I fear this was made just for me. Thank you!

[@emmanuellaojo8359]

just shed some tears…couldn’t be better timing

[@HeavenSentHoney]

Cheers baby!

[@missy6104]

From a girl with depression who shrouds myself in my worries. Giving time and help to those who exist on this planet with us really helps as well.

[@RockDove5212]

@missy6104 video is deeply insulting and irresponsible

[@LeeSears-pm3lu]

@RockDove5212what?

[@RockDove5212]

@@LeeSears-pm3lu use your brain

[@kalynbarrett1446]

THANK YOU. so much on this topic so for now, just thank you for accumulating the knowledge and spark to unravel these concepts

[@nothingiswrong8484]

Funny enough, I happen to be just back from crying. Firstly I got to say that Lana del Rey's music damaged some of my brain chemistry when I was basically a child too. In my case, I was obsessed crying with Placebo's teenage rage music. Some time ago I decided to be grateful, because I have been so sad for a child, now that I am 20 years old, I decided to embrace my loneliness and to stop feel sorry about myself. It is so hard, my muscular memory tells my face to not smile, I want to smile more there are enough reasons, why do we think we look dumb being happy? who made you think that? Still sorrow is so inherent inside me. Anyways, thank u, since I discovered your videos I feel I have a big sister giving me some actual quality life advice! Wish everyone a cheerful journey!

[@_birdofpassage]

Of course the poem in the beginning of the video is written by you! It brought me to tears this morning, and I couldn't wait until this afternoon to finish this video in hopes that it's author would be revealed. Thank you so much. Your soul is so beautiful. This morning I also decided that this poem you have written is something I'd like to read daily. I intend to Woodburn it on a plaque to hang by my vanity.

[@HeavenSentHoney]

Oh my god 🥹🥹🥹 really????? I’m so honored to hear that it moved you so much. Thank you

[@julialouise.k]

only lovers left alive is one of my favorite movies as well, thank you for reminding me to watch it again

[@evaphillips2102]

I have been waiting for this upload like a next dose 😩 your helping me fix my world view and I appreciate it.

[@McDonaldsforBirds]

Even though much of this content is geared towards women, I come here week after week because so much of it speaks to me (I'm a straight male). A lot of these "women's issues" are universally relevant.

[@HeavenSentHoney]

Females are my largest audience. But yes I would hope so!

[@girl-fromthemoon]

They're actually just... human issues.

[@blancaaaestela]

Always with the pertinent content. I too was a tumblr sad girl (mostly in my early 20s), and now in my mid-30s I find the sadness resurfaces with certain life events. It’s always there - a core part of me - and then something will happen and the sadness becomes raw and painful again. It forces change of perspective, reflection, and hard inner work, and during that time nothing can convince me that I’m not super duper sad. And then suddenly there’s daybreak, and I’m on the other side again, just a little more changed as a result. I’ve gone through this cycle multiple times now. I love getting older.

[@zarouhi5693]

I’ve seen a lot of people criticizing this without listening to or reflecting on it. It takes a lot of life survived to get to this point. It’s one I feel I am in the stages of coming into myself. The sadness is always there; but I choose to bite into the fruit

[@plutonian_aquarius]

I kind of love this. Lifelong sad girl here and never thought of it as a very self-focused or self-pitying way to exist-ew. That is the opposite of what I want to be and I can totally see now how heavy it is to be around as opposed to being light and spewing ourselves to just enjoy and be happy about anything and everything! Thanks for this message, loved it. Also, what is the background tune you’re playing? I need to hear more sounds like this, it automatically puts me in a calm, sunny, hopeful disposition…just mages me feel like “all is well, no need to fret, just enjoy it.” 💖

[@addangel]

it sounds so icky to say out loud, but as a chubby teenager and young adult I often wished to have the more socially acceptable and even glorified ‘aesthetic sadness’ of starvation, alcohol and cigarettes instead of the “eating my feelings” sadness.

[@odothedoll2738]

"For life is quite absurd, and death's the final word. You must always face the curtain with a bow. Forget about your sin, give the audience a grin. Enjoy it- it's your last chance anyhow! you start with nothing, and you're going back to nothing! what have you lost, nothing!" wise words from Eric Idle of Monty Python

[@AntoniaVlad-q2x]

so Lana Del Rey coded

[@yagzgulay7498]

As a 24 year old man I am really fond of your content. I find your ideas quite inspirational and I kinda relate your way of seeing things and how your mind works. I discovered your channel six months ago and your videos helped me to find who I am both as an artist also as a human. So I just wonder: What do you think about men? Have you ever consider to make a video about your perception of man? Because I'm a really masculine, old fashioned guy who is also vulnerable, emotional. Some times they say to me that "Oh man shouldn't be intuitive they should be logical blah blah blah" these diversities makes not only all men but all humankind weaker and passive. So I really want to know what do you think about that?

[@deanobanino4525]

I always love your videos. Always. But this poem you lead in with me has absolutely floored me: Is it yours? Is it untitled? I want to share it with my dearest poetry confidantes. Thank you for the love and attention you give to sharing your thoughts and encounters with beauty and contemplation

[@HeavenSentHoney]

It is mine

[@deanobanino4525]

@HeavenSentHoney hugs and high-fives thanks for being a creative force♡♡ you inspire

[@lunarachel4530]

Very impressive and beautifully written. Love it.

[@sassydebbie]

A truly beautiful poem

[@mehroshabid8007]

its so beautiful i wanted to find its source, youve truly written wondefully

[@elizabethli8866]

This video was extremely enlightening. I’ve always felt like my sadness was a comforting cloak around me and I wanted to be “protected” by it and live in it forever. However, recently I’ve been getting tired of thinking this way and this video just what I needed to hear to start making some serious changes and rethink things. Thank you for your words :)

[@myraclesname]

I came to this video, opened the comments and immediately knew it wasn't meant for me. That's fine! But sometimes I do forget that people exist that aren't mentally ill or neurodivergent. That's on me. These videos should absolutely exist. I just hope anyone who IS mentally ill and or neurodivergent coming across this video realizes it isnt for them as well. I've lived my entire life with being told to get my life together and that has turned most of my time into shame and confusion. Now that I'm older I know not to blame myself. Never, ever blame yourself for things that are out of your control. 16:18 nevermind, this I HEAVILY disagree with. not sure if I'm reading too much into this, but it sounds super insensitive.

[@oiku4408]

I miss the comfort of being sad

[@cglk2603]

you kinda saved my life with this tbh

[@LSA_ART]

I think that it is so feminine and so natural for women to honor any feelings that come. Like the Wild Woman archetype which exists within any of us. If I feel sad then I let it be. If I want to cry, I cry, if I feel like I want to laugh, I laugh, even if I laugh until my stomach hurts. It’s called being ALIVE. There is nothing fixated in the feminine nature, she flows like a river and changes like the seasons, Summer, Autumn, Winter, Spring etc. Or like the moon phases, or like our own very menstrual cycle. Of course we all have our natural temperament and personality, some women are more extroverted and naturally appear more joyful while other women are more introverted and naturally appear more sad. Even if it doesn’t go hand by hand with what they truly feel. But it doesn’t matter, what is matter is how much we honor our very emotions and how much tuned we are to them ❤

[@azurerain26]

Just as I don't think I can relate more to your messages, you drop this video. I, too, am a hugeeee Abel stan and total fell into the XO verse with its intoxicating lyrics and haunting melodies/beats. But I also agree that my melancholic days are over. It is 10000% egoic and self-feeding. Thank you for always producing such relevant gems ❤

[@muscratgravy]

Another incredibly well articulated, thought-provoking video. You have definitely become my favorite content creator on KZbin because I always learn something new about the world and about myself. Thank you so much for what you do.

[@livafridrihsone6683]

I always look at you and see my own surrow and wound of abobdenment mirrored back. Thank you for talking about this. ❤

[@princess.girl.101]

The not smiling part is unfortunately me. I don't know why I detest smiling in front of others, and on the rare occasions that I do, I instantly stop each time. Its not because I'm insecure of my smile or my teeth or anything to do with my appearance when I smile, it's just something that gradually became a cemented habit that I don't know how to stop. I really don't know how to begin to break the cement and embrace the emotions outside of being sad. Being sad is so oddly comforting because I feel that since I'm already sad nothing worse could happen so I'm some how safe from harm, when in truth the sadness is a silent harm in itself...

[@fireflythinking1290]

When I was younger I used to wish I could be a sad girl with dark brown hair, but I was a silly, curly blonde with messy teeth and glasses. I guess I wanted this because there was actual sadness in me which wasn't apparent and that no one cared about. As a teenager I would kind of resent people who played as if they were the tortured type, thinking "what do THEY even have to be sad about?" I still have a hard time seeing people who seem happy and fine as "intelligent", because I've always associated intelligence with levels of suffering.

[@_birdofpassage]

Life altering content right here, and precisely what I needed to hear in this moment. Thank you forever.

[@RockDove5212]

😂😂😂😂😂

[@JulianRaphael-pr8jc]

I have been (more or less) fanatically watching your videos for eight months and not once doubted that you are an Artist. Just as Henry Miller must have never doubted Anais Nin her great talent for Creations of The Philosophical Imagination! I shall check *The Weekend* out since you recommend them. Good luck and more poetry please.

[@GazingAtTheMoon]

It's a shame so many people came over from twitter to jump into conclusions and attack you, but I respect your stances and outlook on life so I hope this new wave of exposure brings more people who find something valuable here as I do.

[@esther8262]

my favorite thing about life is the constant, change. the infinite capacity for change. it gives me hope and the will to stay here. right now i am atheistic i sort of want to end up a staunch Christian by the end of my life just for the plot. thanks for this video and the reminder its okay, good even, to change your mind 🙂

[@LollaBelle]

"we moved into the light" 🕯️ ☀️❤

[@fuschiafae]

I can't be so hard on myself anymore, it's not productive and nurturing. It's true that sadness and offshoots of it such as overthinking and hurtful memories, it's unfair we feel the need to keep ourselves in collective misery. It won't erase the feeling, but it'll save us from enduring what we deserve to grow from. A medium told me she could feel I was highly emotional and that I should set boundaries. Be happy despite it all because you deserve peace. 💗🌺

[@Aggstra]

You just cured me

[@patriciaalmeida8905]

I too am in this process of wanting to cultivate around the pit. There is indeed a direct proportional relationship between self-obsession and suffering. It's a decision and an endeavour to reduce looking inwards at the self and projecting outwards! Thank you very much for your video, it summarises my process in the light of yours.

[@Morale_Booster]

Did you write that poem? It's maybe one of my favorites I've heard in forever

[@bbi2.052]

And thank God its just a film. To call people with suicidal thoughts “selfish” will never make sense to me. Its mind boggling to me how people don’t understand how the human brain really is the strongest muscle. A person must an indescribable emptiness or depression to succumb to wanting to remove themselves, and here comes a person who as never been in their shoes telling them it’s “selfish”. Logic its more selfish to tell a person how they should about their own existence “just for the sake of it.” That isn’t how one should go about handling it. If one truly cared about a suicidal person, they at the very least attempt to understand what got them there mentally in the first place. It has also been shown that a lot of suicidal people are experts at “showing happiness”. So not sure why it’s even in this video. All this to say its very ignorant to add a serious mental health issue to a video essay so carelessly and biased. I was with this until I was not.

[@bbi2.052]

Logically speaking* sorry

[@bbi2.052]

This just comes to show that we need to take video essays like these with heavy grains of salt, ppl love coming on the internet and say things both carelessly and yet definitively. No offense.

[@HeavenSentHoney]

Babe how do you find yourself so comfortable telling me what I have/have not experienced??? If you're going to have a conversation with me, don't assume I don't have experience with the things I'm talking about. Moving forward, if anything the idea that the brain is so powerful only gives more agency to the person with their illness. I’m by no means saying it’s easy, you have to fight for your life, but it is indeed possible. I don’t even use the word selfish in the video. However "self-obsession", is more so spoken about directionally. The domination of the inner world rather than the outer world. It is being consumed within oneself, to have ventured within with no way out, to have shut the door to all possibilities which exist outside of you. Pride and identity does play a part in this for sure, but the point is to either use them as a way to motivate yourself into happiness, or to step away from compulsive identities period. Clearly the end goal is to just "be" and I am still in the period where I need identity to choose happiness. And I recognize that others are that way too.

[@BeatrizOliveira-tf1if]

And it’s same reactionary discourse diminishing mental illness repackaged in a pseudo liberal aesthetic so people don’t see that they’re spilling the same shit their conservative grandparents say We’re so doomed

[@bbi2.052]

@@HeavenSentHoney i never stated anything to has to do with your personal experience or not? Where do you see that?

[@NovemberFox-u2y]

Just because you are not 'sad girl' anymore, doesn't mean you are not self obsessed. This video seems as if you are just changing the flavor of it.

[@mmartin08]

The gold pyramid 💛