Why Autistic Children Are So Difficult + What To Do About It

[@SagaJohanna]

Resources 📚 📕 (Why we can’t “make” children be who we want them to be) Blueprint: How DNA Makes Us Who We Are - Robert Plumin 📕 (Age appropriate parenting and understanding of the child) The Whole-Brain Child - Daniel J. Siegel & Tina Payne Bryson 📕 (Healing from our parents behaviour to be better parents to our children) The Conscious Parent - Shefali Tsabary Gentle parenting) 📕(Peaceful parents, happy kids - Dr. Laura Markham 🥦 The one food to treat autism symptoms nutritionfacts.org/video/best-foods-for-autism/ 💊 Alternative treatments for autism doesn’t work nutritionfacts.org/video/alternative-treatments-for-autism/ 🥛 Some reasons why breastfeeding is so important www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC10631302/#:~:text=The%20release%20of%20oxytocin%20during,effectively%20alleviate%20sadness%20and%20anxiety. 👩 Breastfeeding resources (free) www.unicef.org.uk/babyfriendly/baby-friendly-resources/breastfeeding-resources/ 👧 Learning Interpersonal Skills (to be a functioning human lol), Great for autistic people kzbin.info/www/bejne/p3LWnHqQrsd3fZY 👵🏼 Are we over-accommodating our children? vt.tiktok.com/ZSFHyeNUW/

[@larteaga261]

Great video! Your Dad is a very wise person. I am a retired teacher who specialized in Brain Based Learning with learning disabled students, as well as, a parent of three adult children. In total agreement of what was said, I would like to add some things. First, children need to sleep well, go outside and play/exercise twice daily and eat wholesome food and lots of water. There’s a book written, “How to really Love Your Child” by Ross Campbell. He states, “Sometimes they just need a hug”. Now, if they don’t want a hug, a smile does wonder. Next, the lower you keep your voice the better and some silence and put your finger on your mouth while keeping a smile. Last, keep them busy helping you, for example, have them clean the lettuce ( even if you have to clean it afterwards). When I had my classroom, my students who came from very low high risk neighborhoods, did everything. I was mostly supervising. You wanted to go to the bathroom, you asked the bathroom leader. Everyone was responsible for everything inside that classroom . And I NEVER said in front of them, “They were terrible, today”. It worked. Keep them busy at home, doing things with you. If they had a bad day, tell them it’s okay, let’s do something fun!

[@SustainableDreams]

Thank you for sharing. The helping others part definitely gets G to do things she would otherwise not do, and helps her overcome difficult feelings/moods

[@DC-jk9ts]

I showed my autistic 18 year old son this video and he told me today he can’t stop thinking about it. He needed to hear your message and it has brought him and I much comfort xxxx

[@SagaJohanna]

Oh wow, that’s one of the most incredible and humbling things I’ve ever heard. Thank you from the bottom of my heart and please say hi to your son from me! ❤️

[@breatheinsimple5369]

Once I pulled my son out of school and started homeschooling him and doing everything to meet his needs, things got so much better for both of us.

[@SagaJohanna]

That is so inspiring!

[@breatheinsimple5369]

@@SagaJohanna I also agree with your breastfeeding advice. It was all so true for us and we made it until 4 years old.

[@a.k.ferrara]

Same!! 😂🎉

[@mrs.rogersneighborhood]

The exact same thing happened with us!

[@CinematicImagePro]

Homeschooling… how you pay bills?

[@adrianr650]

So helpful Saga. Autism is not a visible illness and so often misunderstood.🌻🌻

[@SagaJohanna]

Thank you!

[@ingrid607]

I totally agree that when raising children with or without autism, it is important to be patient and respect their needs. Very informative video. Thanks.

[@SagaJohanna]

Thank you so much!

[@winamortenson9125]

Thank you, Saga. My son is 22 and he is so high-functioning that we don't even know if he is on the spectrum. However, he certainly is not neurotypical. He is super smart and gets so hyper focused on his interests he doesn't hear when you try to get his attention. He is also uncomfortable/anxious in social situations and finds it hard to read faces and body language. We have always given him lots of support, but did not have all of the tips you mentioned. I am proud that I (and my husband) advocated for him. One example: with his school in kindergarten--the principal said that the children were expected to come in independently to put their things in their cubby and go to breakfast or the classroom. I said that he wasn't ready for that yet, and continued to help him each morning to keep him on task in a way that was comfortable for him. (He would have just stood there watching everyone and been late every morning! 🙂) But, there were many times when we didn't understand his needs and were impatient. And when he became an older teen and didn't want a hug anymore, It took me a long time to realize that I needed to ask first. I knew it was important for him to get physical touch, so I "overruled" him at first. I hope your video really spreads the word. I wish I could have seen it long ago, but in my work as a children's librarian I will still use your advise and try to pass it on to others--especially about requiring an answer, or a wave. So many little ones aren't ready to answer us yet, and their parents keep trying to make them (all children). I only know of one little guy in our library who is autistic, so the tips will be useful in my interactions with him--but as you said, with all the other children, too!

[@SagaJohanna]

Oh this made my tear up! That sounds like your child got the support I might’ve needed too ❤️ that extra support is so so valuable, and I can’t imagine what it might’ve meant to him! 💕

[@SagaJohanna]

Oh this made my tear up! That sounds like your child got the support I might’ve needed too ❤️ that extra support is so so valuable, and I can’t imagine what it might’ve meant to him! 💕

[@winamortenson9125]

@@SagaJohanna Thank you, you have such a sweet heart. Our son has always been an "absent-minded professor", so I don't think he was even aware enough to appreciate what we were doing to help when he was 5 years old. However, as a young teen and young adult, he has seen how it is with other people who don't understand him--and how they think he is weird. He is really struggling to make friends in college, especially since all his peers are online or looking at their phones all the time. He has told us that he realized how good it is to come home and feel comfortable and understood. We are so lucky that he understands and communicates his feelings so well with us, but it breaks our hearts that he is lonesome. We know he's not the only one. It is a common problem today. 😥 Again I want to say that your video is so important and helpful. I can't go back in time to try again, but our son's needs were not major or severe, and he had no behavior issues. He has his quirks--but was never diagnosed with autism. I'm sure there are many ways to be neurodivergent, right? 🌈 P. S. He is home for spring break right now, and was fine with a hug this evening. I look forward to your next video about autism and caring for each other, although I ejoy all your videos.

[@mikemetague7973]

I wish 'they' heeded this when I was growing up (a long time ago). I was shown that all adults were my bosses and controlled my time (and my need to respond then and there). It probably took me thirty-five years to have any shard of self-confidence (or of being important enough to have any of my own wants and needs). It was as though others defined me (or who I was to be). There later became (in my life) my drugs, my psychoses, my withdrawals from people, and a whole load of other weighty junk. Thank you for understanding and promoting this.

[@SagaJohanna]

Ugh I’m so sorry to hear that! I too have found solace in drugs, alcohol and depression and wouldn’t wish it on anyone. I really hope we can heal so children don’t need to feel this way! I can’t imagine how many children would’ve been raised like you!

[@valorielynwhitman8531]

You have the most beautiful way of explaining an extremely difficult subject. If you remember, I too am autistic. My emotions, as a 70 year old, still do not respond as most "normal" people. I was fortunate to not have lived with any labels as society didn't know what autism was 65 years ago. I do have 3 of my 36 grandchildren that are autistic. One is my biologic granddaughter and the other granddaughter and grandson are adopted. The two granddaughters are extremely high functioning, but the grandson is extremely low functioning. Their three sets of collective parents are very attentive to their needs and find the time that is required to love and nurture these grown grandchildren. My hope for both of my granddaughters is that they are able to have opportunities to live productive lives. My grandson will probably never be able to be on his own. There are going to be some difficult choices in the near future for him and his parents. Thank you for your kind words of information. These are "difficult" situations, but not more so than any other disability. These young people need our support and love. Saga, continue sharing your words of hope and encouragement. You are truly a teacher and a motivator. Please remember you are loved. ❤ 🇺🇸🧑‍🦳

[@SagaJohanna]

Oh thank you! I love the idea of no labels - as you know. And I think some of us were lucky to grow up in a moment of time, or maybe a family, where labels weren't so important. Now they seem to be everywhere! It is absolutely incredible how many grandchildren you have. It is so wonderful to hear how supportive your family is. And I can imagine the difficulty for parents to come to terms with the idea that their child will never be able to live alone... I'm sending you my prayers and I am so happy to feel like I have a kindred spirit of sorts wiht you 💖💖💖

[@HoldOnStillProcessing]

Wow the first 9 minutes of this video really summarize my life as an autistic parent with an autistic child. The whole video is amazing but the first part put to words how I feel now and felt as a child.

[@kaitlynelainepeppers8757]

Anyone else cry when she said "if you are watching this, you are most likely a wonderful parent, doing your best"?

[@karenarden1856]

Thank you for this great, and tender-hearted, informative video. I really didn't understand too much at all about Autism, as I have not had any experience with it. I have however, dealt with my oldest child having serious mental health issues for many years, including struggling with depression, severe OCD, and related drug problems. I think when people have not ever known this kind of thing in their own lives, it can be so hard to relate, but I think we should all strive for empathy. We never know what some soul might be dealing with in his or her life, so simply showing kindness and caring can make their walks in life easier. I guess we all need to be thankful for the goodness we do have, and not dwell on the harder things that can come our way. But you always shine so bright with your gentle ways, wisdom, and sweet nature, and are always ready to help others Saga. That's what it should all be about, so thank you for bringing about more understanding for parents, family, and friends that have a loved one in their lives who deserves that TLC that can make all the difference! ❤‍🩹💗💖

[@SagaJohanna]

Oh thank you so much Karen, such lovely words ❤‍🩹💗💖 I can't imagine the struggle of a child experiencing those kinds of issues. In some ways, my father probably have some shared experiences with you - having me as his child. Luckily I never got into very big drug problems and was able to quit, but it's such a slippery slope. Wishing you all the best. 💖💖

[@karenarden1856]

Thank you for your sweet empathy Saga~I imagine that your dad loves you greatly, and as a teacher (I think you said in one of your videos that he teaches?), he probably understands children very well. My other children and I hope so very much to get my daughter into a good rehab program, so she can live her life with blessed purpose. I hope that you will have all the joys a heart can hold Saga!🥰💚💜

[@nayanahale]

I am not a parent and the topic is not close to me personally, but it is always interesting to learn more about a topic that is new to you and your video is simply amazing in its structure, advice, and presentation of the material. Always here to support, you do valuable things Saga

[@SagaJohanna]

Oh wow, that is so kind of you to say, and I appreciate your words and support so so much. Thank you!!!

[@idkifimaboyorgirl]

a lot of people struggle to understand autistic people's issues with socializing. as a child i was always told that everyone has social skills and i just needed to use them even though i was doing the most i could! i was also told i couldn't blame my issues with keeping friendships on being awkward. its so very important to try your best to support them and teach them the skills that you and other neurotypical people may have been able to grasp without it being explicitly said

[@SagaJohanna]

It sounds like you weren’t listened to and that you tried your very best ❤️ I felt this too. I’ve struggled much with socializing but the more I am true to myself the easier it’s been. Unfortunately when we’re young we might not be allowed to be ourselves. DBT therapy with Dr May here on KZbin has helped me immensely in learning social skills!

[@JohnPaul-158]

Thank you so much for sharing this from your heart! I could see it in your eyes... Have a great week my friend! kram

[@SagaJohanna]

Thank you! So thoughtful ❤️

[@JohnPaul-158]

@@SagaJohanna😍🥰😍

[@LejeblyTC]

This is so helpful and enlightening. Thank you for this.

[@LindaEinhorn]

you are explaining everything so nice ❤

[@caraadams9846]

It was so funny to hear you talk about hand washing or brushing teeth for half an hour, that is my 12-year-old son! I try to get him to use a timer so he isn't playing for too long so we can get ready if we need to go out. Any other suggestions about this? Also, we do homeschool, and he is super smart but, he struggles with doing workbook pages and only wants to do on-line lessons. he loves to read but, the writing is a struggle. He can do the on-line lessons but, there are games when he finishes a lesson, and he gets obsessed with them. Any tips on homeschooling? I'd love to see a video about that. I'm sure you could offer some insight on some great ideas. I'm sorry to hear that you didn't like school. My son tried a part time in person school that was supposed to be Montessori but, they actually spent most of the time on chrome books. I was thinking about trying another part time school or just elective classes in person like robotics. He has a nice group of friends in boy scouts, and he loves outdoor activities, and we plan on adding swimming and other activities since he is getting more interested in trying new things now. Thank you for all you do, you are amazing!

[@SagaJohanna]

Sorry for the late reply! Haha, that is funny! I think a timer is a fantastic idea! Maybe getting him to really use it and using it consistently. If he doesn't like it, maybe try using it for positive activities too. For example, a timer for brushing teeth meaning he can understand that it is only two minutes and it will end. So it's like a new understanding of time and starting/finishing - which we all find very difficult..! I love Ellen Fisher's videos on homeschooling. They're not super in-depth, but I find them very inspiring. I also really like the Montessori teachings, but I'm biased because that's where I thrived as a child :) Also, doesn't sound like a Montessori school haha, because it should be the opposite of chrome books! We have Montessori outdoor schools in Sweden which are pretty awesome! The other thing Ellen Fisher recommends is local homeschooling groups. Apparently that's a big thing and you can find them online, and see if you can find a group with suits both you and your son! This message warmed my heart, and I'm so grateful for you comment. You are wonderful! 💖

[@gixxerhoff7502]

While I agree with so much that you say, shaping the world around this tiny comfort zone is a recipe for a difficult adult life

[@samantapalomino8266]

It’s easier to navigate a difficult adult life with a supported and cared for childhood. We can all contest that a difficult childhood doesn’t make for an easy adulthood. Diversity requires diverse approaches. The analogy of taking care of plants may help as some need much more maintenance to thrive and others need less attention. Key word being need.

[@AlmaBove2010]

This is such an interesting topic. Thank you for sharing💜

[@SagaJohanna]

You are so welcome!❤️

[@michaelmacewen]

Great video. Thank you.

[@SagaJohanna]

Glad you liked it!

[@amalielaursen1280]

Just found your channel. Thank you so much for making all theese videos. You just keeps speaking about my child in a way i gave needed someone to speak to me for years. It really gives me something to think about and something helpfull to do for my child❤

[@videe7363]

My son is really lucky he is in a support unit for Autisim in a main stream school in Australia Sydney, but his routine outside of school can be really challenging, he is very routine based and if we change the routine he will struggle . I agree we have changed our lives to accommodate him and it does not bother me, and it can be frustrating but as long as he is happy I'm happy 😊

[@SACAWU45]

Fixing Socializing. I am autistic. I do not need any advocate to accompany me all the time because my oral speech is perfectly functional, I can speak for myself with every person I meet and I was never born a broken English Speaker even if English is my second language with perfect fluency.

[@jundisa02]

Thank you so much sharing this beautiful video on autism 🌼 its so refreshing hearing all these info you shared.

[@rjaydriskill]

I always appreciate your helpful videos, and especially as they relate to autism. You are an authoritative and much needed voice. :-)

[@SagaJohanna]

Thank you!

[@liamodonovan6610]

You are always interesting having autism is a big reason why i don't want kid's you have a very soothing voice love you're videos

[@SagaJohanna]

Wow thanks so much Liam!

[@Con_blue]

Love your autism videos! ❤

[@SagaJohanna]

Aw thank you! That means so much ❤️

[@ellaelle6964]

Du är så otroligt smart, jag älskar din kanal! ❤

[@SagaJohanna]

Oj tack ❤️❤️ kommentarerna känns mer verkliga på svenska!

[@TheHarryson2]

My sons school has a train track running along the side of the playground and all he wants to do is watch the trains and won’t go into class. What should the teachers do?

[@Michael_H_Nielsen]

Wow. so much awesome wisdom.

[@OoiBeng-o5z]

Tack tack Saga! Hope you try practice loving kindness to be more relax and happy 😊

[@SagaJohanna]

❤️

[@isabellekeyzer]

you sound like such a sweet person

[@SagaJohanna]

Oh that is so kind. Thank you ❤️

[@Willipik]

What about ASD teens? Conflicts with boundaries and following those routines?

[@SagaJohanna]

ASD teens are difficult. I recommend the book by Gabor Mate about teens “holding onto your children”. I also recommend therapy and introducing Communication about routines to involve the teen in figuring out how to deal with life being difficult at times. Have a meeting with them, pen and paper, and write down what they’d like etc.

[@agnesmutua3163]

😊​@@SagaJohanna

[@anastasiia_shepshelei]

thank you it was very useful!!

[@SagaJohanna]

Glad it was helpful!

[@Mrinvestors11]

You never get your life back and I'm struggling with that you have to be with them 24/7... every time I go do something this little one has gotten a habit of grabbing everything and putting it into a corner😮‍💨😮‍💨😮‍💨

[@hana_moon]

the best autism advices on youtube

[@paolinabd3567]

💕💫🥰🙏thanks Saga.

[@SagaJohanna]

You are so welcome❤️❤️❤️

[@Michalos86]

Seems like there are some traumas from your childhood. Did you try therapy for ASD? I also have some, but I still believe that therapy can help me overcome them. I currently go to a psychologist that also has ASD and ADHD and specializes in neuro divergent people. I have high hopes.

[@daleh1234]

Hi Saga, I think you may find this erudite conversation about autism research interesting. kzbin.info/www/bejne/hqnEd4KChs9_epI And following up on the dietary connections with autism discussed in this video may I be bold enough to offer you some unsolicited cautionary advice? If you are following a vegan diet please be very careful about the known tendency to substitute sugar for adequate protein. This will be very enticing for you especially since Swedish pastries are famously delicious. Sugar like alcohol just plain isn't good for us at all. It sucks, but it's true. Wishing you health, love and happiness.

[@theway3031]

If you can. Homeschool, homeschool homeschool homeschool homeschool home school!!! Stay away from any type of conditioning type of behavior modification. If you have a child with ASDyou know what I’m talking about.

[@ivyblu3211]

I could not agree more, but my country does not legally aprove 😢 so I'm looking for solutions like private schools with smaller classes with IB curriculum. So I hope it helps us.

[@CherylAmbrosePhD]

You betcha. Removed kiddo from school the day we got the official assessment. Homeschooling isn’t easy, but it’s worth the effort.

[@Michalos86]

Seems like you target those videos to a specific group of ASD children. With quite severe ASD symptoms. For my child: 1. Breastfeeding - my wife tried as long as she managed, but my son was moving a lot, kicking her, biting the nipple. It was very frustrating to both of them. Specially that my wife has a lot of sensory issues. 2. Home schooling - I don't know how it will be in school, but right now, kindergarten is (IMO) very good for our son. He has a best friend (with obvious signs of ASD) but also plays with other children and is liked by many. My son also likes going there more often then not.

[@sableempire9654]

Im sure my Boomer dad is undiagnosed ADHD and ASD. Those did not exist. Therapy didnt exist. Mental Health Was seen as weakness and stigmatised. Because of his torturous rules when I was kid. His chaos. His twitches. His stimming. His Hyperfocus on himself and his interests. His ingrained misogyny sexism and racism made me parent 😅n the opposite way he did. 😂 trauma for me but I have a great relationship with both my kids as a result. .

[@jamesdeguzman6935]

You look so beautiful

[@jamesdeguzman6935]

@@one.of.a.kind. I Just want to compliment her I think there's nothing wrong with that 🙄

[@LookUpSnowden]

🌝🌝🌝🌝🌝🌝🌝🌝🌝🌝🌝🌝🌝🌝🍑