When Narcissist in Tears, You Are in Trouble (Frustration-Aggression)

[@oh2887]

When shouting, bullying, and coersion fails, they try crying.. when the crying fails, it is time for vengeance

[@ColleenMacMahon]

This is a current concern rt now as I hustle more money out f him

[@ginkgo2021]

Yep. Exactly. When his tears flowed (out of only one eye) it was followed immediately by him filing for divorce and launching a smear campaign. Actually when I witnessed the tears, I realized how far from reality he was (and our relationship as well). It seemed so phony. And manipulative. I think he was shocked that I didn’t try to comfort him or beg him to stay.

[@AngelEyes-xm7el]

I am fear, he cried and now has gone monster mode he calls himself. He said I better listen to him and poked me in the head with his finger. Then said I love you, if you leave me, don't ever come back. Now he keeps whimpering like an infant in distress. He told me he has been callung his childhood sweetheart. But chose me over her. My mind is spinning. Trying to escape but . Talked to my doctor he said i need to get away now. He throws stuff in his fits of daily anger. He told me to text him when I can escape. God protect me psalms 92:1

[@elainemcdonald4117]

​@@AngelEyes-xm7el- get out. Quickly.

[@user-ue6ft7eb4f]

literally me

[@sneak9407]

1 Professor Sam Vaknin video a day, keeps the narcissist away.

[@christyjohnson4926]

Great advice!

[@MBX887]

😂 Yeah

[@milenadivljak9387]

😂Yes

[@voyagehome5810]

😂... true enough.

[@ladyg852]

😆🙌

[@Cindyyy768]

When the narcissist cries, you better be on guard. He cries only for himself and never out of any remorse for his actions or empathy for others, unless it is a performance for either others or himself. And when he sees YOU cry, he will tell you that you don't deserve to cry. He doesn't understand why you cry, and will only interpret your crying as self pity.

[@hiddenlore-astrologija418]

Yes, behaviour of a 2 or 3 year old child having tantrum but in a grown up body. Not a pretty sight.

[@clovs]

What I have learned from Prof Vaknin that helped me stop the trauma bond. That helped me stop SEEKING the narcissist, because lets be honest a lot of us are looking for this kind of abuse without really knowing it. What really helped me was finally understanding that the narcissist never loved me. Not once. He never never love me, he doesn't love me now, and he never will love me. There is nothing at all I or anyone else can do to change that. Fully accepting that fact and understanding why they can't love helped me put the whole thing to rest. Prof Vaknin you changed my life. Thank you.

[@christyjohnson4926]

I found these just after I ended my relationship. They are really helping me to break my trauma bond and recognize when I'm slipping. I'm so glad to have found these videos!

[@Dani_13th]

Well said! Sam has pulled me through the logical MUD when it comes to this stuff. It all made sense the more I watched.

[@cecillebalignasay7358]

Yup. They can never love their partners or their children because they are so full of themselves.

[@skylarmontgomery6181]

Same here. 2 weeks now and his explanations help me wrap my head around the whole thing. She never loved me bc she can't feel or give love.

[@christyjohnson4926]

@skylarmontgomery6181 Now, go find his newest videos about why you keep watching the videos 😉 If you're borderline, it's how we keep them in our lives. The next step is to start watching how to find a better partner, NEXT TIME 🫶🩷 Wishing wonderful things for you 🩷🫶

[@fehchaudhry781]

Run when they cry! There is no reasoning with them! This is the best advice! Leave them and never look back! Stay safe! I’m lucky to be here today!

[@ginkgo2021]

When I saw his tears something clicked inside of me. I did feel I was in danger. I felt it confirmed my belief that he was finally over the edge. I did not try to comfort him. He filed for divorce the next day. I think this video is excellent. Thank you for getting this message out to others. I did leave the house for a week after seeing the crocodile tears. I kept the bedroom door locked when I returned. I changed the locks the day after he left. Thirty year marriage. I’m a slow learner😅

[@bradgelina]

I also saw his tears as a sign of danger. I did not feel vengeful nor validated nor compassionate, just steadfast that I needed to safely and quietly get out of that house as quickly as possible. After 30 yrs, I also walked away. And when he wrote to me within days afterwards, it was about money.

[@jbuntine1255]

After 20 yrs he hardly worked helped himself to the bank account. And still to this day keeps my personal belongings.. Very strange .

[@charlottependragon4610]

32 for me!

[@KD-gd5oq]

This could be my story almost to a T.

[@TB-oh8zl]

I so love Sam's mischievous laugh!😊

[@omniscopicloops]

He can't help with us Germans

[@jamespain2138]

He’s got that Tucker Carlson laugh 😂

[@MM-dz9fk]

My controlling ex of over a decade.. cried twice, in all those years. And both times was to control me. Prevent me from escaping. 😓

[@dejajones3441]

Loser

[@ThistleRealm]

This happened to me last year.... Together for years, no commitment, abortion....older and more established in life. I barely asked for much and after six years, I gave him every reason as he gave me the same as to why we shouldn't be together and he would not let go. When I gained the courage to relinquish the relationship....I'd NEVER seen so much effort, care or concern from him....didn't even cry for the lost child. However he played a long game and had the right victim....makes me sick just thinking about it. This mess is beyond an account, it's traumatic to most and can even lead to mental disorders and depressive episodes.....it's serious.

[@bettab9234]

Excellent info. I witnessed the narcissist crying (mostly dry eyed) and took pity at times only to meet the lurking psychopath underneath. When I withdrew in shock, the crying returned Beware the crying narcissist, beware the collapsed state. Therapists do not understand this dynamic and get suckered into the narcissist’s pity ploy even more than the long suffering spouse

[@helenezhang5991]

I did see his tears, at the moment, I felte that I should be nicer with him. Now when I look back, it was like a show. There is a immense hole in his heart and no matter how nice I could be, it will never be enough.

[@PulsePoint777]

the narcissist will cry as a way to compete as victim. there is only compare and compete win /lose with the narcissist. There tears are due to not wanting to share the attention

[@saturdayschild8535]

Ex told our kids that taking care of them was breaking them. Anyone outside listening would’ve thought he contributed more than money to their care. Crying because he had to take care of his children financially was crazy. He was crying the most empty tears we’ve ever seen. He was extremely upset the crocodile tears didn’t work.

[@debbiekennedy6030]

My ex is a cryer. For many years I thought her was just very empathetic, but I learned where his tears came from. After I found out about an affair he was having we tried to make it work, for four years. One day there was a show on tv, the father cheated on the mother and they were interviewing them. My ex teared up, so I asked him why is he crying over a family on tv, but hasn't shown any compassion for his own kids and wife. He replied, because he could imagine how grateful they would be if he came in and made things better for them. I was shocked!Again, it's all about him.

[@stavokg]

I can verify that these words by Sam Vaknin are true. My husband cried on the floor in a fetal position. I cried with him; he was utterly inconsolable. I could not get out of him why he was crying. The next thing that happened? He announced he was divorcing me. Now he’s trying everything in his power to leave me with nothing. I have asked numerous times, “what have I done to you?” He gives no answer or tells me that “anxiety takes years to correct.” Meaning, my anxiety. Scary.

[@Lisa-x3n5x]

I like your occasional giggle. This is the most informative channel on narcissism. I learn new words, too! 😊 I had to look up contumacious. Thankyou very much.

[@maryvera123]

And einfühlung too!

[@kevingillard5474]

Prof. Sam, Sir, you are a life saver. You taught me to recognize, understand and properly deal with who was before me and to properly mourn and disconnect and withdraw from what was hijacking me and my life.

[@itg-cdf]

During our relationship/ marriage that lasted 23 years I saw “my narcissist” crying only once. That was when his mother had a heart attack. I hugged him because I wanted to comfort him. Now guess what he wanted! Sex. His reaction confused me quite a lot back then. Now I understand that this was only one of the many manipulative strategies of a narcissist. Thanks a lot for this informative video and your work in general in this field. Greetings from Spain!

[@maligjokica]

My wife do to me the same thing! Anger,tears and...after a short time expecet sex with me. I was shoked! I knew something is not rigth.

[@nicolabenjamin2661]

I saw my narc ex cry once and only once. I realise now that it was complete manipulation. It kept me in the nightmare for another few years. I thought it was a breakthrough that suddenly his soul really was there. It was all an act. He will get what is coming to him Karma is waiting. He just doesn’t know it yet. Thanks for this great video 🙏🏾

[@BitcoinNewsTodayLive]

Losing you is his karma.

[@tmt66336]

Every single word this man says is true!! i'm living it. that part about when they expect you to revive after you die,,, magical thinking, chilling, but explains a lot they really don't believe that their temperary actions have a permanent impact. Thank you Dr 🙌your videos are helping.

[@CherylBriere-gp8bk]

My ex use to walk our dog in the neighbourhood without a leash. When I confronted him he said: “if he gets hit by a car, he’s stupid and deserves it”. When the dog died he cried for the first time ever in 27 years. I think he cried because the dog obeyed his every command, unlike me, his former wife. And then he created the weirdest shrine for the dog where we buried him. It was over the top for someone who often showed zero attachment.

[@gypsymonk8229]

She cried when our cat died. She didn't miss her , she missed supply.

[@ginkgo2021]

@@CherylBriere-gp8bk my ex same. Cried like a baby when our dog died. It was a few days after one of his rage episodes. He was hugging me while he was crying. Then he walked away and did not help me load the dog into the car to take to the vet for cremation. The dog weighed 70 lbs.

[@saturdayschild8535]

After catching the last infidelity before filing for divorce from the narcissistic ex (I think it’s significantly more than that), I held him while he did this incredibly dramatic cry. He had his back to me while I held him. It was great that he couldn’t see my face. It was so obvious that it was fake. I had to stifle laughter. It was really that bad. He cried again in a family meeting trying to justify chasing happiness and leaving because we, his family, made him so unhappy. It was rich and largely ignored. He looked so angry when he didn’t get the reaction he wanted.

[@anarobn]

I experienced exactly what you describe. By the book. When he became angry and physically violent I ran out of MY house. If I hadn't, I wouldn't be alive now. I am 100%. It was very difficult to break up and left the relationship. He cryed, stolked, he can't live without me (he tolked to all my friends). After two months he got engaged to another woman. Pure woman, she doesen't know..she is in lovebombing faze now. She is the most happy women in the world, she thinks, like I was when we started...😢

[@gingerbuckley2010]

Too bad we can't communicate our experiences to one another.

[@JustKathleen3]

I lived through all of this! Why didn’t his parade of therapists see this? One of them refused to keep treating him, but none of them diagnosed him or warned me. The last one was a narcissist too. He even conspired with my husband to take me down. He diagnosed me without ever meeting me and contacted my daughter to recommend his colleague to help her deal with me. Fortunately, my daughter saw right through it. These people really are dangerous.

[@theresafreis]

Or, completely in awe of the Oscar-worthy performance, and watch as other audience members believe it! And are given a glimpse of the level of fantasy they’ve created and in which they live, built on magical thinking.

[@gypsymonk8229]

Tears out of frustration ! Yes...run to the hills!

[@LawEire2B]

Genuine crying is self pity 💯💯💯 They never feel bad for victims, only themselves. They only regret how their actions affected THEM.

[@Cheesycat948]

I won’t go into it here, but this helps me understand someone close to me. I’m going through an awful time of not saying what he wants to hear. I’m seeing the real person.

[@leanarose_8318]

While the Narcissist is crying, does he realize he is simply manipulating?

[@samvaknin]

No.

[@leanarose_8318]

@@samvaknin However if they do cry deliberately, as opposed to an empathetic response or reflex, then how do they not realize this? Is it because they refuse to believe they are manipulating someone?

[@burningproblem]

​@@leanarose_8318 It's the same way that a toddler is not consciously manipulating. The adult bodies make it easy to confuse narcissists with people with plans and accountability for these plans. Stories. They may have stories, but the non-self aware narcissist doesn't know why they throw tantrums (beyond "mommy bad").

[@linneasimchah1621]

@@leanarose_8318 Prof. Vaknin has previously said that narcissists truly believe their own delusions. It's why narcs are so convincing. They buy into their own delusions first, and then get their victims to buy into the shared fantasy.

[@That1Chick]

My neighbor next door trapped my cat and ended his short life, of almost two years old. Trying to figure out how to cope with my emotions, the loss of my “child”, and realizing (too late), what type of person lives so close in proximity to me … it’s beyond my understanding, and the hardest thing I’ve ever had to do, holding in my thoughts and trying to ignore this person that I have to see almost daily

[@germanlanguageworkshop1542]

If he can do that to a cat, it's a question of time when he will do the same to humans. You should report what happened.

[@andrehanekom5665]

thats terrifying dude

[@LHanna-gn3qw]

👍🏻 I recently had an adult student who refused to be told what to do by a woman. Besides, he thought he could pass the external exam without learning anything. He was constantly yammering about the fact that he was single. I let him write a couple of tests to confront him with reality and made it very clear that he couldn't treat me like that. At the end, he quit the course earlier than planned and most probably failed the exam 🙈🙈

[@2hetig]

Before leaving i went through the phase of “what if im the problem, im not patient, not loving enough, what if im the narcissist”* and then, for the first time i saw him crying. never in my life have i witnessed something so fake, so inhuman. It was like a very bad theatre play, it would have been comic if i didnt at that very moment realized how fake everything was.. i just watched it in disbelief. Almost like i was waiting for him to burst out laughing. I sobered up FAST and l i just accepted it all. It was truly horrific in a way but at least im not even tempted by any hoovering attempt. *after a good amount of Sam Vaknin videos i now see how not stupid this thought is (contagion)

[@fredalert7556]

Dont know how your ego will take this, but after having seen a lot of your videoes (among with many other sources on KZbin) I gotta say: You deliver the sharpes and pshyloglically deepest analysises of everybody. I appreciate and learn a lot from them.

[@k.c.sunshine1934]

I've personally observed a suspected covert *narcissist* *crying* when I confronted her bad behavior. I found out that those tears were of the *Crocodile* *type* when she entered aggressive attack against me afterward; there was no attempt for her to self-reflect and ask questions and/or do things differently in the future. She also started triangulating with other people to try to get me to look like a villain.

[@gerardolopez2575]

I saw my covert narc ex cry when we had been broken up still talking about how we were going to split up because we have a daughter together. I decided not to try to comfort her because we weren’t in a relationship anymore and I was tired of feeling manipulated. Two weeks later I came home from work and she was gone. Took my 3 1/2 yr. Old daughter with her and made all kinds of false accusations in court. Thankfully the judge didn’t believe it since she had no evidence and now I have some custody. She then sat behind us at the Carl’s Jr we did the exchange at a silently cried. I think she was even angrier that my daughter was so happy to see me and my family members.

[@apubanerjee5496]

Be aware of the narcissist tears , same as the fake tears of tears of a crocodile . Never ever trust a crocodile and a narcissist . ✔✔✔

[@apubanerjee5496]

Sorry , Ty mistake twice tears of written . It will be single time tears of .

[@gypsymonk8229]

I didn't know that crocodiles can cry !😅

[@apubanerjee5496]

@@SherriFlemming 👍 Thank you very much . 👍 👍 .

[@RonnyAndersson-q9b]

Narcs are toddlers. Somehow they need to learn the concept of "no". To argue otherwise means you're an enabler.

[@thedirtfarmer3654]

Wow!sam, you MORE than likely just saved my life! Gratitude to you my good man.

[@arabianprincess85]

The only time my narcissistic ex ever cried was when I left. And that strategy worked a few times and then I left and never looked back.

[@alinajeziorska5959]

Thank you Prof. Vaknin

[@gerardolopez2575]

Professor vaknin is so good I might get fired haha I wanna leave work just to finish the video and binge others

[@Natalie82170]

Yes!!! Wow, yes whenever my narcissistic sister starts crying, I immediately try to comfort her only to be met with rage and more craziness. I never understood what this was about.

[@b2th3m1th]

For my covert narc ex, her pattern is, pure rage then the tears. The rage stems from me not backing down and not allowing her lies or reprehensible behavior slide and then the tears saying i keep "pushing her buttons" by just standing up for myself now, instead of taking her shit.

[@anandaurora]

I can confirm many of the typical abusive experiences with the narcissist love of my life, but on the other hand I have seen many positive, genuine, kind behaviours too.. This makes it all the much harder to overcome the empathy I feel, even though I can see that there is no hope.. Its hard to let go, and not to restart another cycle

[@clovs]

There is no genuine kind behaviors from a narcissist. It's all an act. They do it to keep you stuck like this.

[@samvaknin]

Children are endearing and infuriating at the same time.

[@camarwalker5876]

Took me 10 times to leave permanently 🥱 at some point you get tired of their sickness

[@KD-gd5oq]

I remember watching my narc collapse. It was something to behold.

[@gavinwilliams1687]

I learned too late what the tears meant,it was her tell.

[@gerardolopez2575]

Haven’t even finished the video and I already agree 1000% with everything he’s saying. She tried making me feel bad about not reacting the way she wanted me to react because I could tell it was a manipulation. Now I’m worried though because on Monday I was ordered partial custody of our daughter and she sat behind us at a Carl’s Jr crying after the custody exchange. It too seemed like a display she was making

[@AgentClaytonWebb]

Frankly, I can’t stand to see my Narcissistic mother cry, because I know its fake or to make her look like the victim to guilt me.

[@missta1820]

These facts are scary regarding the Narcissist.

[@rheaahsunshyn9187]

I have a new name for this...'narcodille tears'

[@samvaknin]

Like it.

[@rheaahsunshyn9187]

@@samvaknin I just made it up. Nice channel you got here, thanks for the update in terms of this presentation.

[@thetrentmeister]

Brilliant video. Thanks for your insights.

[@melindaszekeres1190]

Wow, this was a strong lecture. Thank you prof! You are amazing.

[@nadirmilazzo5968]

As a child I hid when my mother viper narcissist cried. I know the truth. Everything is evil and more. 🤬

[@simonhawke5370]

That breaks my heart.

[@cb2363]

Thank you, Professor. I had the chance to see a narciccist crying. What I felt was disgust. I hid it and I left as soon as possible. I wonder if it is an uncommon reaction. Best regards.

[@gypsymonk8229]

Crying BABY with the MAGICAL thinking !👍😅

[@NessaJennings-f2b]

That episode. An absolute shocker

[@kayb947]

Thank you Professor

[@TWUTubes-re2ty]

I needed to sleep and told off the narcissist. Whatever or however I told him off made him cry. After that is when he started with his revenge to me and even my cat. Know this now post life with narcissist. I was just needing sleep, food, and the ability to go to work and just live pretty boring and let him do whatever and leave me alone. No he pulled me into his insanity from day one. I lived across the hall from him renting the same house. What?! Then when I cried he stopped for the first time and didn't want me to cry? Why? Because he couldn't control it? Or it showed what his destruction did after 20 months?

[@Treyy-h4d]

No He is in Troubble , I was crying too now it is His Time !!!

[@TheLaurenKnight]

OH MY GOSH. Professor Vaknin, Thank You! I've always had a feeling of unease when thinking about a therapy session I had with my mom and our family therapist. It was a kind of an uncanny valley feeling because my mother had started to cry out of nowhere. Only because she was being pressed about her actions which were unconscionable. I had done some work on her guest bathroom while I was living with her, I had done some grout work and the setting solution needed to set for 48 hours. I worked overnight and I needed to take a shower and she was not willing to let me use her shower because the entirety of the project took almost 6 months.... From a human standpoint I understand her frustration. But She was okay with letting anybody and everybody else use that bathroom EXCEPT for when I needed to use it right before I had to go to work. When I eventually did gained permission to use her bathroom, I was frustrated and start it to blow off steam while I was taking a shower. She kept interrupting my shower telling me to not be disrespectful. And at one point she entered the bathroom and told me to get out of her shower. This is the situation we were speaking about at therapy that was unconscionable that she started to cry out of nowhere when realizing she was stuck. It was weird because her response was "Lauren I don't ever want you to feel like you're not loved" And her eyes instantly started to well up with tears..... And then I thought to myself " Oh my God she has feelings!?" Then we totally veered off into another topic of conversation that was not addressing her actions... That therapy session creeped me out..... I didn't know why but I kind of felt like she totally took control of the session.... And I had no idea where we stood or what happened at the end. She felt like she had just cleansed her soul, and I didn't feel better at all..... I felt worse, and I actually started to fear her level of narcissistic personality...... because at that point.. .I didn't know what I was dealing with.

[@SarahSkinnyJeans]

Would a narcissist ever cry out of some unknown joy that he attributes to "finding you"?

[@samvaknin]

Yes. But, again, it is about himself, not you.

[@Michael-cb3uw]

10:30 Yea if you remember the theory that emotionality/sentiment can make one less grounded in reality. Frustrating situations that demand attention or human reactions remove us from banal reality.

[@noelv4040]

So when I cut off my cousin's access to more of the estate funds by reporting my uncle's death to the banks and he drove through the night to my house and called to lure me out of the house (dumbass parked blocking my driveway so I called the police) and they discovered he had 2 guns in his seat I was really at risk. Good to know! Now if I can only get my sister to listen.

[@guyloughman9621]

Thank you, Mr Vaknin. Your knowledge and insights are very helpful and illuminating. To me, the instinctive bad feeling one gets when being around a narcissist, now seems linked with sensing the underlying potential psychopathic modes within them. These people are so toxic!

[@simonhawke5370]

Love the comparison with toddler behaviour. Many's the time I have watched my soon to be ex partner kick off and thought wow, that's our three year old daughter. The only reason we have stayed together this long is because of our three year old, who keeps me alive. Would have gone non contact two years ago otherwise.

[@chanchan5349]

It’s called acting. They are great actors. There is nothing behind it; it’s a weird release for them plus a giant hook hoping to hook you yet again! Actually I also think they feel sorry for themselves because why should they go through this “yet again”. It’s always a ploy in their favor NEVER YOURS! Mines favorite start is “oh yes, I knew we were going there”, or “here we go again”, I know now any argument makes absolutely zero sense difference. I do not exist except to serve: that is my purpose according to him. As soon as I understand that we will have no problem… yay.

[@Tiredofbeinghere]

If a narcissist is breathing you're in trouble

[@thejavandenberg4509]

I had a friendship with a narcissist for 17 years and never saw him crying

[@Confessions089]

No they don't cry unless it's an act.

[@chrisliv8973]

I refused to move in with my ex narc. He tried everything . And then one night, he turned on the tears. I was completely manipulated. I moved in with him, and he kept needing more and more money from me to help pay the rent at his crappy house. Huge huge Huge Huge mistake. These people have a special place in hell set aside for them. Never live with a narcissist, all they do is use whoever they can.

[@JustKathleen3]

That happened to me! I had to figure this all out by myself, I never heard any of this information until after I kicked him out. I could do nothing but quiver and try to piece things together. He did begin to get violent at the end when I became immune to the tears.

[@JankaLeucorrhinia]

Well, yes, I can only confirm from my own experience that the crying is simply manipulation. self-pity and moreover making his flying monkeys feel sorry for him. And then the monkeys attacks.

[@outthere1726]

I have been fearful of leaving the narcissist because of what he would be capable of if I didn’t sense fast enough the changing into his psychotic states. I said for years, that I was potentially going home to either all my children dead or him hanging or being waited for at gunpoint. Of course none of it ever happened. But I have been living in fear for the past 6 years, at least. I finally have left 1 month ago and his tears are flowing indeed. And indeed, I sense the changing of the tide. Subtle threats are coming back. Should I fear for my last 3 older children (14, 17, & 18) who are mostly staying with the narcissist? He clearly said: I want you to come back. Divorce is not an option.

[@lucyt-c8092]

yes - be afraid… listen to your own instincts..

[@cecillekinnear4585]

I didn't feel sorry when my mother cried real hard tears. Often the reason for her tears were self serving to manipulating my father. The only time I felt extremely sorry for my mother was when she endured a difficult pregnancy when for months she was unable to keep food down. I was so worried for her safety and wished I could help and felt bad for her. I'd stand holding cups of badly made tea for her and I'd not sleep well at all. The eczema that plagued me itched with great intensity. I wish my mother had far better medical attention than was common in the 60s and do in my private capacity, even though I'm not a medical person, try to encourage women not to suffer gynecological symptoms and pregnancy difficulties must overcome a deep seated shame over their bodies and seek help which in most developed countries is available but such resources are shrinking in quality in South Africa.

[@saraelizabeth2]

I did walk away, and the aggression became even worse. He's now holding me captive in a foreign country. He's cut off my access to internet (I'm watching via my cell phone). He keeps telling me that he will "annihilate" me, and he's taken my children away from me. Psychopath mode has been fully activated. How do I protect my children in this situation?

[@saraelizabeth2]

@SherriFlemming I've contacted the local.police a dozen times. He's given them forged documents that claim a US judge granted him full sole custody of the children because I'm "crazy". I don't speak the local language so I cannot properly defend myself. His forged documents have been the basis of the police restricting my access to my children.

[@lynettewebb9356]

Yes my experience was the narc cried alot..

[@FroggyFrog9000]

One VERY curious and strange thing about my covert malignant narcissistic mother: is that in my 4 decades I never once saw her cry. This to me looking back, is well, very eery, very spooky. She seemed to not worry (read enjoy) if I cried though.

[@gingerbuckley2010]

Is there hope? I have two narcissistic sons. 😢 😭

[@brunoandthebee9587]

It would be an interesting dissertation topic (that I'd do myself if able), to look at Hitler and Giel. Those two seemed to be a prey/predator duo. The Narc collapse after her death. What drew them to one another? What kept them glued together? Etc. They are a historical working model imo.

[@not_too_bright8020]

Narcissist here: no truer words have been spoken since the beginning of time!

[@harmony3279]

This mo more miracle of parting of the red sea.

[@gypsymonk8229]

I used to tell her ...." don't cry, baby..." Than I would get at least 2 hours of psychological abuse !!!!😅

[@jessealedonis3987]

The woman I've been seeing off and on for 2 years uses her independence and her family against me by leaving town for 8 - 10 days and upon returning instead of seeing me ,her intimate partner, she hangs out with her cousin for another 2- 4 days instead of me.And then my girlfriend leaves for another 8 to 10 days( work related ) but never comes right back to me but makes me wait another 4 days while again she sees her cousin . So this next time I told her if she does this thong with her cousin again I'm not talking to her the whole time she's gone .So upon leaving again she says as soon as she gets back in town she has to do her cousins hair and a couple other people and she has to recuperate her energy so then she won't be able to see again more for 4 days after she gets back into town .Anyway she's done this with her cousin from the beginning of our dating until now 2 years later .So I'm not responding to her very well and I'm not a cry baby either .So looks like it's a nasty game that I don't want to play and I'm slipping out.

[@christophemouawad6971]

Better stay away and go no contact from the start

[@shirlxx]

Professor, and what about "wet eyes/tears of joy" when narc. for example receives a gift, or on special occasion? Is this some kind of warning flag as well, or it means something else in narc. mind? Thank you.

[@samvaknin]

Narcissists react genuinely only to narcissistic supply. All other reactions are manipulative.

[@katerinap7317]

Professor Vaknin, does every narcissist have a self state of primary psychopath during decompensation or is it only a part of in malignant narcissist type? Dark triad? Thank you.

[@samvaknin]

All narcissists have a psychopathic self-state, but it could be secondary psychopathy.

[@katerinap7317]

​@@samvaknin thank you. I was experiencing attack last week, which leaded almost to my death. Now we are separated. Very dangerous to try him to explain my point of view. It always ends like that. Now I understand the dynamics more. I will never force a narcissist to listen to me again. It can end very badly.

[@bujarsalja6661]

I should saw this video 2 years ago...hehe..

[@thankfully1202]

how does this apply to covert? He seems to have the Jekel/Hyde big guy that comes out to protect him, the small child. He has cried many times and usually when depressed and overwhelmed. He definitely put me in his mother's place ( she died of cancer} and was a "bad" mother.

[@thankfully1202]

@@Zusie14 It is amazing how many times I have heard my same story also. I thought I was the only one living this crazy life. It is validating, but I wish I knew about it yrs ago. The crazy making cycles made me trauma bonded and even still trying to recover. I thought the tears and apologies were real for a while then knew that they meant nothing except maybe he was sorry for being caught in a lie or whatever. Hope you learn quicker than I did and heal.

[@thankfully1202]

@@Zusie14 I have been divorced 6yrs. but he still pops in and out of my life, not in relationship but just keeping his thumb on me. I am trying to understand why I have not been able to go on and watching videos seems to point to trauma bond for the good /bad cycles and he treats me better now than when we were married. I feel like I need to move far away so he can't find me, but until I heal, I am stuck and isolated and anorexic SLD. I can't find support or afford counselling. My ex turned most people against me trying to make himself look good after I got a protective order and finalized the divorce.

[@samvaknin]

Same dynamics, only more dangerous.

[@thankfully1202]

@@samvaknin Thank you, I had no clue what the tears were meaning, I thought there was repentance and hope. That ruined many yrs. that I could have gone on with my life.

[@SRobinson-hr6me]

20:54 Do you think they will be overly focused on a person and smearing them or will they just want to erase all memory of the person in general? Constantly bringing up the person that injured them will keep the person relevant and their memory alive. Just curious.

[@samvaknin]

Search the relevant playlists.

[@ThePopmaker]

This is literally me icl

[@Umasdiary29]

Anybody here dealing with isolation from family and friends by naarcist husband literally nobody is with you? Starting life with zero humans you knew as a child at 38 with 2 kids. I can't able to handle the situation in India therapy is not helping i cant see the world the same before. Anyone healed completely? Betrayed by own family

[@lucyt-c8092]

pray hard .. watch youtube videos about narcissism.. go for walks… get a pet … you will get stronger and gain clarity..

[@gerardolopez2575]

Is there a different version of this for the covert narcissist or the same results?

[@ginkgo2021]

@@gerardolopez2575 mine was covert

[@samvaknin]

Same dynamics, only more dangerous.

[@lesmonstewartt]

Prof what can a mentally health person do to avoid these people in your everyday life. Lesmon from Jamaica.

[@michaelduong5562]

What do i do about a narcissist/psychopath that is omnipresent? I am in the United Kingdom asylum seeking. My location is Oxford, Oxfordshire in UK. Long story short he followed me all the way here from USA.

[@samvaknin]

Search the channel for "stalk".

[@dordelly]

If according to the narcissist I made him cry isn't this a form of mortification? Will he become a psycopath against me if he cries and not leave as he is mortified? The psycopath stage can be outstaged if the narcisist is mortified?

[@samvaknin]

Search the channel for "mortif".

[@Samantha-Starseed]

4 months I was with the narcissist.. this is my third round first one was 38 years second one was a year and a half. Never seen somebody cry so much in my life. It's all an act like everything else

[@lilo4784]

Professor Is Anikan Skywalker who was separated from his mother told to feel nothing the story of the birth growth and death of the narcissist as Darth Vader having been deprecated from his mother was the trauma that made him narcissistic then seeing her tortured and killed by violent people made him the psychopath known as Darth Vader is that an accurate description of the life story of the narcissist?

[@samvaknin]

Could be. Watch the From Child to Narcissist playlist.

[@lilo4784]

Thankyou fascinating recommendation will check the film

[@outthere1726]

How do we reply to you privately?

[@kennethhubbard695]

Fake crying to manipulate and gain positive attention.

[@vst9266]

And when the narcissist is in trouble or she/he will ever been?

[@lexxyrio]

Communism & Narcissism 100% Interchangeable.