How Narcissist/Psychopath Sees YOU (his Victim) & Why Borderlines Adore Them

[@Jezzicar]

This is so spot on , my ex sometimes was so clever and yet so stupid at the same time , it is a very bizarre situation , a little boy stuck in a mans body .

[@alexisgreen-hernandez4709]

I know how you feel. I apologize that you had to endure that experience.

[@jontoering7792]

YESSSSS!!!!!!!

[@AnhNguyen-hn9vj]

The psychopath is like an animal, the predator type. You may to be becareful with interacting too much with narcarcist or psychopath. It is like a disease, the mental type, you may get mentally infected or influence and didn't even know it. very frightening.

[@taelyar]

@@AnhNguyen-hn9vj I left a toxic job after I found myself behaving in ways that were not up to my own standards.

[@Jezzicar]

@@onemightyandstrong8293 you seem very angry , have you considered seeing a therapist ? 🤬

[@lizmurphey545]

"If he's too good to be true he's a psychopath" lol I love this.

[@marshaspell5148]

Truth

[@nafissforghani3866]

Yes, so true 😔

[@kittycam7888]

yes always remember if something seems to good to be true?!......... then theres a good chance it IS too good to be true !!! ........caution

[@TelzAll]

I'm scared to date ....

[@Guardianangel369]

He mirrored me, all my wants and needs, even desires i didn't know i had. But he couldn't keep up with those needs and wants. His mask slowly slipped bit by bit, until it was apparent that he was a fraud.

[@meganwatson5540]

When I think about dating again, I turn on Sam’s videos then I remember... nope! ♥️

[@samvaknin]

Thank you ... I guess (laughing hard)

[@toothdoc215]

Me too ...to much trouble !!

[@nichellepatterson3174]

Same here!

[@kanatapaw]

🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩😄

[@hoobsgarage]

i feel the same lol, we'll all find someone though

[@butterflygirl3359]

Ok I was a very happy, successful, well functioning adult woman going through an amicable divorce when I met a malignant narcissist at a divorce support group for children, (I had two little ones at the time). He showed up with his daughter, (the only guy in the group), looking like a lost puppy telling everyone how mean his ex-wife was to abandon him and his little girl. I felt SO bad for him and he kept telling me how amazing I was to handle divorce so well when he was just falling apart and could I please help him! I fell for it and let me tell you, within a year I was acting like a raging co-dependent borderline. These men MAKE YOU MENTALLY ILL. They absolutely find strong, caring, giving, understanding women and EMOTIONALLY DESTROY THEM.

[@Youtubehandlesaresilly]

The female equivalents do the same for many men.

[@carriecastanos]

We learn though, not to be gullible.

[@Sonta-anDellErba]

I have had a similar experience… the covert part is the hardest to recognize. I was with my partner for eight years before his “true colors” came out. And wow. I felt deeply hurt.

[@gingerconstruct2129]

I had one overt for 8 years, escaped and fell straight into the arms of a covert for 10 years. I knew how to spot the overt, not the covert. I am separated and still living in same house as covert. He started dating immediately, he desperately trying to sort a new source of supply. Sam V's videos have helped me move from anger and hurt to a kind of fascination. He literally does all the things Vaknin describes. I can even be friendly which confuses my ex, he's then unsure if there might be a chance. And there is below zero. I've just emotionally moved on. I can't wait for him to get his new supply consistently and sod off.

[@racheltoner1906]

Benifit of the doubt is a dangerous thing when dealing with liars.

[@dmk7826]

Brilliant explanation of a very complex animal 👏🏽 i now can see why people prefer to stay single and cohabitate with their dogs or cats instead of dating 🤣

[@colinogorman8279]

Dating is a nightmare even when it's not a narcissist etc 🤣

[@barbarachamberlain1763]

Animals are genuine. With them there is no mucking around with pathetic mind games.

[@jsf8145]

Grateful to be single. In hindsight, I dodged a few bullets in my twenties and very thankful to not have pursued those relationships any further than I did. Couldn't imagine having a child with a Narc and having to deal with all of their narcissistic, crazy making, family members. I'd rather have a Labrador retriever any day of the week.

[@dianevanderlinden3480]

yep. All those so-called crazy cat ladies are onto something

[@dorisbrinkerhoff8124]

yes i,v never been abused by my cat s and dogs .

[@lauraf.e2788]

Little wonder I Iost my sanity during periods of my life where I was surrounded by narcissists.

[@inpursuitofhappiness9441]

I had 3 full-blown mental breakdowns during 3.5 yrs with Narc. So good to be away from that insanity.

[@lauraf.e2788]

@@inpursuitofhappiness9441 Oh, I'm so sorry. I also had several full blown mental breakdowns. Completely lost it.

[@101iswhatsup]

😢. Relatable. I relate it to CPU processing and the bill after a meal. We are stuck holding to so many open tabs, our memory is tampered and our emotional bank is drainned as well. Hope you all are well.

[@inpursuitofhappiness9441]

@@LiveFaustDieJung Yes! Free, healed (well, almost :)) and on to a better life. Take care.

[@mostthegames3723]

Absolutely.

[@superdupercoolawesome]

As a borderline, your videos remind me to not date. Not only am I drawn to narcissists and sociopaths but I also do not have the appropriate neurotypical defenses in order to protect myself appropriately from the subsequent enmeshment.

[@Luckilylukki]

Don’t be weak and let that shit control you. I have BPD too and yea it’s tuff but with therapy it does get better. I’ve been in an amazing healthy relationship for a very long time now. Don’t let it define you.

[@mattevans8090]

I’m with this other comment- y’all borderlines are so frustrating with your “I need to be a good person” “omggg my life is always falling apart because I am a bad object” … just let go of it and be free

[@DontbeanNPC]

And you're just as toxic as they are so you're also doing others a favor by not dating so I'm sure they'd be grateful.

[@TheHallowHermit-dh4sq]

As Sam said himself everyone with BPD are entirely unique in their condition. Just because someone may have an easier time to control their BPD, does not mean everyone will have as easy of a time doing it. I do how ever agree with you that you should be going to therapy to overcome it, especially because BPD can be a big risk to their own life. I think it's a healthy choice to withdraw from dating if you are not at a good place within yourself. As someone that was together with a woman with BPD, it did affect me quite a bit. Probably not as much as it would have been for someone with a more 'normal' psyche. Not sure what i am and not really interested in finding out either, but i do know that my mind does not really work as most people around me.

[@4343diamond]

​@@TheHallowHermit-dh4sqi

[@pickles432noname6]

As soon as my husband realized I no longer believed in his delusion of himself, he found a girlfriend.

[@angelicarosewinters4253]

Me2

[@bryanhoover7715]

@@angelicarosewinters4253 QQ

[@queennumber1695]

Yes! Once I was not seeing him as my hero anymore - he found someone new who did.

[@Hawaiiansky11]

I broke up with mine, and thought (but haven't said - yet - depends on if he tries to Hoover me back) - "Just think of it this way, [ex]. Now you no longer have to lie and pretend that you are available to all those women you lust after."

[@eileenfontes1668]

That late?

[@pisces_chick2511]

Divorcing a malignant narc/sociopathic traits as we speak after being with him for 25 years. At the end, I was a complete shell of a person. I saw how he got off on my pain, tears and heartbreak. Anytime I was having a good day or in a good mood, he did what he could to burst my balloon and then it was like he was walking on air?! I NEVER understood that!! It took me 25 yrs to figure out what I was truly dealing with. He is a raging alcoholic & got diagnosed with Bipolar. I just chalked it up to that. I felt I couldn't leave him with a clear conscious because he is sick & these issues can be treated & helped. I put so much love, energy & tears into our life & family, too much invested to walk away. Know I have all the information and it was dire & bleak. He discarded me for a friend of mine. Who is also his own cousin & the wife of his best friend. It was a traumatizing, violent, cruel discard. I watch any video or read any article I can to help educate myself so I NEVER get sucked in by one ever again. Thank you for your knowledge!

[@pisces_chick2511]

@@soultosoul6645 they love to isolate us and eventually we aide in isolating ourselves as well, sadly. This is what started his discard, I made an ultimatum and threatened to leave for good if he didn't get help by a psychiatrist and therapy. He despised me for it, but set up an appointment. Then he started spending more time at his best friends house to the point of not even coming home. Found out he was grooming the best friend's wife, who is the malignant's own cousin! Also found out he had an affair with my gay nephew!! It disgusts me and angers me to the core. It proves how sick, perverse & disordered he really is. It was a very traumatic, dramatic, cruel & tortured summer. I finally found the answer of his issue, NPD!! I dont think I'll ever heal completely from the years of being married to him and the final discard was almost worse than all the years in the marriage. I hope things get better for you. Wish I knew about these kinds of people 20+ years ago, how different my life would be.

[@777hathor]

Yes they even like to see your confusion and bewilderment or shock when you are trying to understand their actions or words. It's that WTF moment ....you are stunned

[@BestLife101]

@@pisces_chick2511 Forgive yourself for not knowing. You were confused and experienced constant stress and brain fog to even know what was going on. For most of us, we were set up from childhood by narc parents so we grow up not knowing that this is actually a mental illness. These women go in depth about NPD: *Kim Saed *Lisa A Romano *Dr Carmen Bryant *Helen Sadler Destiny Helper They're all on KZbin. You will completely heal. Do not underestimate the magic within you. Everything you need, hope, determination, strength, discernment etc can all be found within you and nowhere else. You will make a full recovery. Believe in yourself. What have you got to lose? Here is a website that may help with some ideas and information. www.anniewrightpsychotherapy.com/how-to-recover-from-growing-up-with-a-narcissistic-parent/ I think this experience has taught all of us women to never ignore the red flags, listen to our intuition, and to have self respect for ourselves and our bodies. Be well beautiful.

[@Annika1107]

Happy for you and glad you're getting out ❤

[@Cekatu]

@@BestLife101 Just curious. Why would you be on someone's channel advertising/promoting other people's channels? So many times I've seen KZbinrs ask people to desist from doing that in their comments section......

[@austinbeatty4434]

I have BPD and I’ve studied it ever since I found out I had it. But this is one of the best explanations of BPD I think I’ve ever heard because I know I cycle through a bunch of different “masks” and feel like I have no control over them. I can be ruthless, I am mostly kind, but in the blink of an eye be cold and ruthless. I’ve never understood why, and it does make me feel safe. It’s also funny how you mentioned the power because at times my BPD does make me feel powerful and invincible. Now that I’m self aware though, I do my very best not to manipulate people. Thank you for this video it was eye opening for my own experience of BPD.

[@superdupercoolawesome]

Yes! I never understood that ‘switch’ that tends to happen when I split. It’s honestly why I always suspected something was ‘wrong’.

[@nealiecruz2532]

I truly believe my mother has BPD. She’s 75 and I’m 54. Should I tell her that I believe she has this?

[@johnschmid865]

@@nealiecruz2532don’t tell her. There’s no one there. My mom has BPD too. They are truly dead inside like a ghost, just a false persona. So painful when it’s your mom

[@carriecastanos]

I understand you!

[@johnthefreeguy]

I grew up in a tight religious family with a narcissistic father and probably a borderline mother. My two sisters and I have inherited a lot from our parents violent relationship. Sam Vaknin is helping me a lot about my childhood and my mental illness that produced a lot of suffering. Now I'm becoming more aware and am on the way of healing myself and my relationships. Thank you for what you do despite all criticism.

[@vincentwilliams8685]

I could have listened to another 2 hours of this...extremely interesting.

[@NkNk-vg8fc]

Didn’t want it to end

[@restccpow1504]

I don't like to admit it but he sounds extremely clever and to the point, I understand why he feels like a narcist in a way, he must have high IQ, but I am afraid saying that I just support his narcissism even more, anyway I think there are narcists who are not that special

[@litsabradford5043]

Fucking excellent. Thank you.

[@CricketMcCrickets]

Thanks...I'm about to have a showdown with one ... can't wait

[@eliswebster8847]

CricketMcCrickets : me too, is it litigious? wish us both well.

[@ladybug7967]

I have a friend who is a borderline and only married and dated narcissists. Three failed marriages. Now dating another narcissist 🤦🏻‍♀️. This video is spot on!

[@TheIsraelProphetess]

Im a borderline. I can tell you from experience part of it is that we enjoy hurting narcissists. No one Can hurt a narcissist like a borderline. I was equally abusive to all my narc exes. And they wouldn’t ever leave. Trust me, narcs deserve all the abuse they get and more.

[@tonyarvanitakis6457]

@@TheIsraelProphetesswho cares what you think ?!?!? 😂 Lighten up a little

[@leesdroidaccountharbin9665]

I was dating a narc for 3 years. I don't think I stopped being abusive, I just held back. When she told me she cehated on me, I made sure to make her life a living hell. It comes from when I was abused by my narc mother. Narcs often have borderlines for children@@TheIsraelProphetess

[@chaima36996]

​@@tonyarvanitakis6457 no one cares about you to little joke , you breathe weakness

[@patriciaearley4177]

The narcissist misjudges everything in his chaotic mind

[@happydays9613]

Yeah even being dumped.

[@josuemc93]

It’s always about themselves too

[@TheBlubunni]

100%

[@staciemarie5859]

@@josuemc93 Always! Even my fathers received death! Are you kidding me? Sorry for your loss but I've had a few bad things happening too 👏 Classic!

[@jewlej]

I’ve been trapped, stalked by a psychopath relationship since I was 17 years old. On/off nightmare. Now I’m 42 with restraining order that I know he doesn’t care about (he’s a convict now in and out of prisons). You are the only person that has helped me understand it completely. You nailed it. Thank you. My parents are/were narcissists. I thought life on earth was hell.

[@janineroux2398]

There are so many variations of this kind of behaviour in the world around us, one wonders if there is anyone who is, actually, completely normal...? There are so many victims of our broken society out there....

[@cecilycornishphdleadership9658]

Your work is intriguing and your research is like no other I have seen.

[@cecilycornishphdleadership9658]

Please direct me to your research you have written and your favorite research articles and journals on the narcissist.

[@rockydennisville7517]

@@cecilycornishphdleadership9658 try 'The Little Shaman Healing' channel. She is the BEST.

[@laceymisquadis2760]

I was just wondering this myself...

[@colinogorman8279]

Totally agree

[@Riostunning]

"Psychopaths are like Disneyland" LMAO this is the most truthful funny explanation of having one as a partner

[@johnreno4156]

If you are talking about terrifying amusement park rides, I agree. Don't get in line, don't get on the ride.

[@TheAlexRhodes]

@@johnreno4156 No, in the video he was talking about selling you a fantasy while knowing it is not real.

[@tonyarvanitakis6457]

You are a genius at this. I have found this very healing and realise I am 100% a narcissist and was recently with the exact definition of a BPD woman. I still miss her but know I cannot be with her

[@ingridhendrix3981]

Mr Sam Vaknin! One of the best teacher of all time👏🏾👏🏾 We learn and grow with knowledge.

[@harryballs4184]

I love how you said that narcissism is a post traumatic state. As I have been recovering and healing from my ex husband, who I believe was a narcissist, I have actually recognized some narcissistic behaviors that I was participating in.

[@mimib6893]

@S B Agreed. However I have learned and experienced it goes up a few levels....to narcissistic plots, thoughts and actions that we never dreamed of entertaining/deploying deeds on the sinister side...stuff we never dreamed we'd think or do if with these folks long enough. If you say " no way, not me " just give it 20-30 years and you'll floor yourself. Not proud, just keeping it real.

[@dojudodojudo5173]

@@mimib6893 keeping it real. Same here.

[@josuemc93]

@@mimib6893 Explains why their partner whom became an ex projected their anger amd frustrations onto me rather than the partner. Long story short; I was never attracted to the narcissist, the partner saw me as a threat despite one on one reassurances, despite harsh rejections to narcissist. In the end, I was STILL the bad guy. I was just a friend who went out of the way to cease communications for the sake of their relationship and the narcissist manipulated the partner.

[@twogirlsandapsychopath4879]

Me too. I'm thankful for that though, because now I can make better choices. I don't want to be anything like the narcs in my life and I was horrified to realize I had taken on a few traits. No more!

[@carfincap]

@Harry Balls We absorb the energy when we are gaslit for so long. The traits. We are reactive. Do not judge yourself. Purge it out. You’re strong AF.

[@sandraslate]

These teachings are so clear. After a 26 year marriage to a sociopathic narcissist, I spent over 10 years in recovery. Finally jumped into dating- what did I get? A narcissist. Mirroring, love bombing, the whole thing- I really did not see it until i realized how my self esteem tanked from his subtle tactics to make me feel less and him the king. There was no ability to communicate as a calm adult. That was the clue I needed to uncover the sham. Thankfully all my recovery work gave me the confidence to get out fast. No contact. But I’m still shocked how his mind games left prints in my mind that I’m still processing.

[@jayecanada977]

Thank you so much. I’m a life long victim of narc abuse. I continued to date and befriend narcs by choice. You just made me realize that a man who almost destroyed me who I thought was a narc is a psychopath. It all makes sense now. Like you said he was perfect he was me. Definitely stalked me I now live in a different continent for my safety. God bless you, you are doing gods work ! Please keep doing what you are doing

[@barbarabarnes4398]

You can run, but you can't hide. Get your heart right with God and through His only begotten Son, Jesus Christ, you will find true love and true freedom.❤

[@BrookeKatherine.]

@@barbarabarnes4398 why would you say “you can run but you can hide” to some that was in an abusive relationship that is now hiding in a different continent for her safety? That’s messed up and sounds heartless. You can push your religion on whoever you’d like (even though it’s rude) but leave out the comment about not being able to hide.

[@carlala3156]

@@barbarabarnes4398 I think you mean well, but...JEEZ.

[@janeyd5280]

@@BrookeKatherine. well said.x

[@dagallgray]

Thank you for elaborating on the intense complexity of borderlines. My mom lived with this all her life and only got effective help late in life. She was also highly intelligent (genius runs in that part of our family). She liked my narcissistic father because he was exciting. It was undescribable hell growing up in that combination. My only salvation was my grandfather often taking me and sister away for weekends and spending time with us. He knew something wasn't right and tried to compassionately offset the harshness.

[@ZieSpiralOut]

I’m so sorry. I feel like that is exactly like myself husband and our son. I can tell it’s affecting him. I snapped and left yesterday because my husband got mad at me for taking longer than 15 min to return his calls. I have not left the house like that in over 10 years. I walked 10 miles sobbing in freezing rain to my parents. I know that itself was traumatic to him. I told him I wasn’t leaving his life and we would still love him exactly the same. I just hope we can become better people because he way we are was just as traumatic for him and I hope I can be more like I was before I met my husband. Stable sweet reliable and loving. That’s the real me and I’m so sick of not being open anymore. I hope this shocks him into getting help as well he really needs it.

[@bernicegoldham1509]

@@ZieSpiralOut 🍀❤️

[@visionsmagazineonlin]

I discovered your channel many years too late. Ive had many unsettling moments watching them. Im INFJ. Got a target on my back.

[@lauraf.e2788]

Yes, in my experience many narcissists are self aware. Problem is, they're missing the narcissist word. So they proclaim that they are "misunderstood" or "something may be wrong with me" etc. Of course, the blame is squarely on the victim.

[@BradConroy_guitar]

My ex; "With my psychology" or "Maybe I can start seeing someone to find out if something really is wrong with me" or "Sometimes I think I am schizophrenic, but know I shouldn't tell anyone." She would tell on herself at these really bizarre times, like out of nowhere, but then deny it if I brought it up.

[@healingleafwave6963]

Which is the narc ironically

[@lauraf.e2788]

@Sia I was told "stop twisting my words" over and over. I get that it's a disorder but I still find it bizarre that narcissists all uses the same phrases.

[@lauraf.e2788]

@Sia yes, all narcissists I've known have been highly emotionally abusive. Physical - not so much, although my health has been very badly affected. Have you escaped the narcissist yet?

[@Alaina-w6y]

Yes, ex said a few times "Everyone is trying to make me think that I'm crazy...and make me feel like maybe I am...but Nah, now I see that ya'll are the crazy ones."

[@chereseplatt686]

Well explained, Most pshycologists cant even begin to understand this, let alone explain this.

[@colinogorman8279]

True

[@yevernotice9408]

Maybe some of them don't want to reveal their personal secrets.

[@bernadinelindhorst9283]

Wow! That was eye opening. I was raised by two narcissistic parents and I picked up traits. I've never been diagnosed with narcissistic but i do have the capacity to feel empathy. My boyfriend has BPD and we fit like a glove! You described our relationship. Thank you doctor. Appreciate it ❤

[@in2delite]

Bottom line: psychopaths, sociopaths, borderliners, narcs...are all attracted to each other. You have to have some sort of childhood trauma or unresolved PTSD issues to magnetically be pulled to one another. And that is the most painful truth to acknowledge and realize the unhealthy patterns that keep repeating like a neverending dejavu.

[@SK-no2pp]

They all attracts codependents

[@amyb7823]

I'm not sure if they always attract others like themselves romantically though. I don't see how that makes sense. Wouldn't they want someone whom they suspect is naive and unaware of this "chess game" that's about to be played. I suspect they usually want someone who's easy to manipulate, someone with increased amounts of empathy, maybe some low self esteem and childhood traumas, sure. But I think it's important to note that childhood trauma, neglect and even abuse does not always equate to someone turning into a narcissist, sociopath etc. Some people never develop the ability to stand up for themselves and to have any standards for how they wish to be treated by others and that is their results from their childhood trauma. I suspect these individuals are perfect targets who are easy to control and manipulate.

[@Youtubehandlesaresilly]

@@amyb7823that’s where BPD and co-dependents get involved. Someone healthy (in general) will be able to feel what is happening and will either run away or be able to defend themselves. There are notable exceptions for those particularly naive or those trapped in environments where they can’t escape. Like kids.

[@asianmtl]

Even asked to submitted on the dayly life to him...wow...For real

[@thinking9478]

​@@amyb7823 I believe they are unaware of other narcissists existing in their world because of their delusional fantasy ideals. Much like the hall of mirrors idea, having another set of mirrors only amplifies every reflection, every trait. It is a probable cause for codependency, which was another key aspect of the narcissistic and psychopathic relationship.

[@collykarma8743]

I never felt guilty but I wasted two more years asking him WTF is wrong with you ? He wouldn’t tell me do I ended up doorslamming him ! Then he wanted to talk - too late ! I had therapy as it nearly made me lose my mind but now after two years of being apart it’s the best move I ever made ! No one will ever understand if they have not experienced it !

[@mushroommagic1697]

Briliant, amazing explanation. I was raised by a narcissitic father and an emotionally absent mother. And it really spoke to me about how twisted my family dynamic really was and is. It felt so frustrating and madening when I wad dehumanized and treated like a rug because the manipulation and lies were so much.

[@dragonfly2117]

Thank you Sam. 2 years ago you’ve seriously helped me understand and be aware of what was going on.Get out before I was totally crucified!! Work on me on my shadow!! I have experienced narcissistic all mental illness from family’s friends especially partners. It took me 22 years to understand that some were just born like that! I am always listening and observing carefully words actions patterns!!

[@christinaferreira8594]

You explain these things so throughly and it’s incredibly helpful. My mother is probably a covert narcissist and I’m trying to figure out if I have picked up narcissistic traits or if I have become one completely. This has helped me understand her a little better and that the feeling that she doesn’t truly feel anything for me isn’t something that I imagined. I actually think my father is one as well but he was different because he was more classic grandiose narcissist and I cut him off completely much sooner. Now I’m finally at the sad place where I must cut her off too. I have been observing her for a few months now and how she interacts with people and it is heartbreaking to me that all of it is a fantasy to get something. I wish she wasn’t empty and I wonder what trauma happened to her as a child to make her this way. One time my Aunt said that my grandmother was definitely one but my mother acts like she was perfect. Your other lecture on narcissists was a turning point in how I understand my life and the people around me. Thank you for making these videos they really help people.

[@velmadenton3254]

Sam Vaknin please never stop supplying us with such extreme erudition!🎇🌅

[@arvogerald6124]

Thanks for your profound insights and advice. Most professional understanding available. And all your concrete examples are truly eye-opening. Thanks for your great efforts and 👍👍👍

[@bennysmom6544]

I can’t agree with you more. Sam truly saved my life. No therapy can ever do this. I always left thinking it was my fault and I needed to tell him my needs more thoroughly 😩

[@samfortune589]

Your knowledge on this subject is incredible, thank you for putting these videos out. It's a brilliant counterweight to the frivolous, moralistic information on narcissism and psychopathy that seems to dominate mainstream discourse.

[@moldsugar-agentleralternat1099]

I went to a Psychiatrist today. Thank you for inspiring me, sharing with me your knowledge. I have had my own trauma, yet tired of carrying it and carrying that of my parents generational trauma. I enjoy learning about this.

[@bernicegoldham1509]

Respect. ✊

[@Charlie_AF]

Before I knew what I was dealing with 26 years into the marriage, I told my husband he should have married himself. Now it makes sense.

[@fjhggkkuhkihkkhk]

I have been diagnosed with BPD and you are spot on with your assessment!😉

[@jelw3197]

Alia B lol

[@Christian_1980]

@@kmoreland3413 yip. Me too. Stay away from them the dr said. Problem is I see them in everyone.

[@pamelaj1208]

Have you heard of CPTSD? Many BPD diagnoses are actually CPTSD ...search Richard Grannon 🙂👍

[@Sci-d9c]

Thank you for explaining the differentiation of the Narcissist, Psychopath, and Borderline! They are very different in their pathology although there’s overlap in some areas of their thought processes. Your points of reference are and break down are helping me to understand how to interact with these types of! And also better understand their intentions! So Thank you again!

[@JohnDoe-id1es]

I need to watch and re-watch this a bunch of times. So much therapy packed in 48 min. My borderline girl that just monkey branched me for either a narcissist and/or psychopath that's love bombing her, mirroring her doing everything that i didn't in just 2 weeks, etc. Very painful for me... Thanks for posting this great, informative video...

[@matthewclark7955]

Honestly one of the best videos ive seen. I struggle to express how useful this has been.

[@christinam777]

My head is still spinning from what just happened to me for a whole year. I cant get the phrase out of my mind that he repeated several times towards the end "Im very good at what I do." He told me I was preyed upon and hes very aware of his deceptions. Im not if he's a narc + plus sociopath or psycopath but based upon his idealization of murder (always joking about it, pretending it, etc) I feel hes a sociopath or psycopath and I wonder if hes hurt someone before or if I was in danger. Either way it was mentla torture. At the end he wanted to convince me how bad he was because he was discarding me and I wouldn't stop believing in the nice good church guy I first met. He finally had to yell at me "that guy is not coming back! I'm a snake! I've always been a snake!"

[@roseglasses1]

I’m sorry this happened to you. I’m there now

[@healingleafwave6963]

Geez yelled at you not even on a first date. Can you imagine what he is in 1 month or 2 weeks from now...HERESSSS JOHNY. o shit run.

[@healingleafwave6963]

P.S. i was with a wife for 5 years i stayed so long for my daughter now shes turning 5 and i havent seen her for a year if my daughter is not a narcissistic in nature she will gather traits from her mother indirectly out of habit if that makes cents. My poor chicken little in mexico..

[@rosejones9317]

Christina:. So sorry to hear about your terrible experience. Hope you are away from him and are healing. This video is totally on an intellectual plane, but that only answers PART of the problem. Humans are made in the image and likeness of God, therefore, we consist of a mind, body and soul. Sam is only telling part of the story -- the mental part. These people are also very, very, spiritually sick. So much so, I would say it would be wise to consult a good spiritual director. Read Dr. F. Scott Pecks books (who wrote The Road Less Traveled). He's a psychiatrist and does address the spiritual side of life. But be very careful of who and what kind of spiritual advice you seek. It can be deceiving.

[@toothdoc215]

Projection !!! if someone tells you who they are believe them !!

[@agingchill9012]

Yes! Watching my mildly BPD partner switch from a sweet, passive personality to a smirking, cheating, abandoning identity was disconcerting, like witnessing a multiple personality. Her crisis counselor warned me about entering into a relationship with her (right in front of her too) but being a groomed 'Designated Rescuer' at the time, I dove in anyway, LoL. Great masterclass(es), Sam. Thank you!

[@coldcloakmusic6630]

I had a best friend like this. It was scary because she had no boundaries and would think she was constantly welcome at my home without asking and I would never know which side I would see. Some days it was a super submissive victim side then the smirky, laugh in your face, abusive, harassing side. So relieved this person is out of my life.

[@agingchill9012]

@@coldcloakmusic6630 > Yeah, those bad boundaries and intense mood swings are scary and can be dangerous. I'll always like how this gal could be but at some point she wanted to triangulate me with her ex then tried to convince me that she was manic. But having been raised next to a non-medicated schizophrenic relative and lived with a wonderful lady that sometimes wrestled with Bipolar 1, I saw this likely was not mania and I won't tolerate triangulation so, no-contact it is. With her previous and now current (all over again) partner, she'd feigned suicide multiple times. I mistakenly thought she was a severely abused partner and she did maintain a steady persona for several years until... ugh... back to her BPD/NPD dance. Oh well, onward minus the surplus drama. No offense to anyone.

[@kynathomas4809]

@@coldcloakmusic6630 THIS!!!! This perfectly described a lady I befriended in my neighborhood and only after a year in a half we no longer speak.

[@SadashiFox]

Yes. My Ex GF was a master of hiding who she really was away from me. She told me silly lies such as enjoying going to the bars for just the music 😒 and making me believe I was the best and only guy for her. Thank God I am single.

[@katja6332]

Now you can heal your tendency to rescue people, if it's not your job and listen to professional peoples warnings. Love doesn't cure everything. I have had a male friend who lived almost six months at my apartment after trying to rescue his BDP girlfriend. He was broken, depressed, lost his former career etc and in therapy to heal. At one point I asked him why he got stuck after her first switch and him lying on the floor in fetus pose, crying and asking her to stop screaming and insulting him and he said, I wanted to rescue her. 💔 It's so sad, because it is such a genuine pro-social trait and he's such a nice guy. But if you lie on the floor crying, you have to take yourself first.

[@Mr-Lucian0_0]

This is the exact relationship I've been addicted to. Things have escalated dramatically after the fantasy stopped and I cannot remain blind to her anymore. This all rings true and the air I waste.

[@lizmurphey545]

This is crazy. I've dated one of each lol. I'm almost too scared to even date again. I'm into this one guy and he seems so laid back and normal and sane and emotionally intelligent and smart and I just can't do it. I don't know. I can't deal with any more crazy.

[@samvaknin]

Watch the vid about trusting again.

[@lizmurphey545]

@@samvaknin I will! It's wonderful to know that you are reading these comments.

[@timhook6049]

Psychopath seems like a good match for a narcissist.

[@raninogrusso9761]

I don't know what to say... But my eyes fill with tears, my soul falls. But now I can understand everything I went through with a narcissistic mother and father. All actions and reactions, how I suffered!!! How I suffered!!! And I thought I was guilty, Jesus was my relief, he took care of me and is healing my wounds. Sam, thank you for your work, now I know that it was God who made me watch your videos and is helping me to understand myself and my parents. Im from Brasil

[@Dr.RivkaEdery]

Wow, just wow! I watched this video several times, gaining deeper insight, guidance and clarity. I am so grateful for your work, Dr. Vaknin. I have closure, and therefore, direction where I need it. Best wishes and prayers for you and your wife for continued strength and inspiration! Your work is beyond valuable.

[@Crandemon]

The borderline part is so spot on. You are amazing.

[@Dagaleeoromo]

Wow! Thank you! I thought I'd only watch 5 minutes but watched the whole thing and was hooked the whole time. I've subscribed

[@paularhiaojeda9867]

You are wonderful. I have read listen and also know your book many years a go. And you are one of the few professionals who explain it and helps widely.......thank you. You are a blessing.

[@beccyreece6704]

This is so heavy and so profound. I only find it heavy because I dated someone with psychosis and narcissism. They are telepathic almost and so coercive. He was a compulsive liar, he had an eating disorder to parade like a model, the moment he began to try and eat his whole face changed, he wasn’t even truthful about his face. He had to starve 5 days a week. He lived in a matrix where he fantasised about being a helicopter pilot. Blamed me for killing his dreams (knew him 12 months) he berated me hoping he could get access to my money (that I would pay for his flying lessons to appease him). His inner world was distorted, he would take a snapshot of what you said and say you were controlling or mean. He genuinely believed those aspects if he couldn’t have his (perceived) sexual freedom or emotional affairs. He hated people with money or success, he tried to pose as a humanitarian that we are all equal (because he had no money or material things). He tried to charm everyone but looked really crazy in places even like the grocery store. He was losing grip of trying to seek supply. Thank you for your words, so healing.

[@Angie-by6je]

14 yrs married to a man diagnosed with bipolar/BPD, 5.5 yrs with a man that was a covert narcissist and broke me, then 2 yrs with (and engaged to) a sociopath that controlled, manipulated and stole from me. I need to choose better! This video was helpful.

[@rosamarialopezhermosa4590]

Brilliantly described. Thank you!

[@abowling5759]

Cute baby

[@machumak4915]

Am glad you corrected the myth that these demons are not self-aware!

[@TheOGym]

I found lots out about myself. I stopped lying to myself. And when I started saying the truth I started to realize my actions. Im a recovering vulnerable narcissist. I had an insane amount of child abuse from age 3 to 18. Mental abuse with memories and post traumatic disorder. I am now almost 25. I found out so much about myself on January 14th 2022. I am finally free from such a dramatic childish mikey in me. I have been going through insane growth. Learning about how I feel. No longer confused with emotions or feelings. Im no longer as fearful avoidant as I was before January 14th. Im at peace. Finally able to actually build MYSELF UP. I made a whole fake identity from people I’ve met throughout my life. But now. I have myself. Im learning about myself every minute of the day. And i continue to fight wanting love. Im not a bad narcissist. Im vulnerable due to fearing my own caretakers. But also doing whatever in my own power to make THEM happy. No self love. I’ve learned my cycle and I will continue to stop it as I learn more and more about myself. Im self aware and I choose to stop it. Growing up I’d ask what is wrong with me why does the same shit happen over and over. 8 ish years later I found my answers. Every action I take as a narcissist is because of my caretakers. If you read this I want you to know theirs hope in narcissist but only if the narcissist comprehends what they have done and wants change. I am going to get certified as a life coach to help people like me who are lost and confused. Help many others but my meaning in life is a huge picture. Thank you for reading.

[@karinteeples6517]

This is fantastic! Thankyou for doing the work to do life in a functioning, non abusive way! You give me hope for my husband. 😀

[@TheOGym]

@@karinteeples6517 remember! He wasn’t born that way. It’s deep and sad but yes hope when you look through

[@radmilakovacevic8556]

Everyting the best

[@jamiecronin967]

Narcissistic men thrive in their alternate reality of social media. With filtered snap shots of women who - if they knew the narcissistic man - wouldn’t be interested. Yet the narcissistic man fancies himself too good for the wife he has. That’s why they cheat. Pathetic creatures. And so the narcissistic man loses that which he never appreciated and sadly never knew the difference. Chasing after an alternate reality fantasy.

[@nuvolebianche233]

Hi, I have borderline. My parents were narcissists. My 3 ex boyfriends were narcissist because I pick what I'm used to. I came here to stop that and to understand and to heal. Borderline is probibly what happen when someone are narcissisticly abused all life. By the way - when I figured my dad out 2 years ago and told him it's not me and everybody else who are deffect, it's him, and listed all what he had done in a letter as a reminder to him, he got diagnosed with a brain tumor shortly after and died. Probably because he couldn't stand the reality. On his death bed he still abused me verbally in front of the whole family, the other patiants and the nurses. He unfortunately didn't changed even with a brain tumor and he never had an insight of regret even when in front of God in his last moments on his death bed. Then he passed away. Once a narcissist always a narcissist. Now I will keep on listening to your speech about me as a borderline and learn how to process the narcissists who "gave" me my personality disorder. I aim to heal. Let's hear about them and myself :-)

[@ceriusStra]

You’ve described my STBX husband perfectly. Grandiosity, has to have the best, be the best. He laid low for years despite many instances of explosions, but something snapped and came out full swinging. He kept me home away from others, had no friends, and is leaving me with nothing. Now he discarded me, examined me for another woman. God have mercy on her. Definitely a stalker. Perhaps even closer to a sociopath. Extremely charming, but when he’s crossed watch out- he goes absolutely crazy in rage.

[@Funny4u2c]

Thank you Sam for pointing me in the right direction. I had been trying to figure out a problem for years (decades), and you nailed it with your description of Borderline Personality Disorder.

[@Jezebel066]

Still listening. This explains so much. Why when we were dating, you felt like I’ve never been so loved. I could be so ugly or gross & knew he wouldn’t care bc he loved me sooo deeply. Then we’re married & I’m afraid to even eat in front of him sometimes bc if I get food in my teeth he’s so disgusted by me

[@ari_mas_cas3484]

He went from idealizing to devaluing you. LEAVE HIM.

[@MICROSCOPICgiant7]

He knew he locked you into the marriage. He got tired of pretending and he let his true colors out when he felt comfortable enough to.

[@mexifaith]

This is super insightful. Knowing the difference and how they think really made me pinpoint some people in my life. Thank you

[@latikabenz6289]

My ex husband (narcissist) didn’t even care about the possibility that i might have cheated him, Discard phase is the most awful thing anybody can experience in a relationship. But the key is to realize that it was never a relationship to the narcissist. Then you can Go on with your life.

[@daniellearden7421]

One of my sisters is borderline, another is a covert narcissist. This has been so informative and has helped me to make sense of their very disturbing behaviours.

[@miharu00]

I am happy that I watched this video before I fell into the narc's fantasy again. It has been repeated too many times that I was deceived but no more! It clarified what was fantasy to reality.

[@lisajirtle100]

Professor Sam Vaknin, I adore you! Your knowledge and education...you have no idea how having concrete neuroscience and simply explained behavioral formulas has helped my healing process. It has truly been the foundation of my healing, and now mostly just fascination and intrest. I discovered that anyone can sit in front of you and be "emotionally supportive" and "validate your feelings" but that never satisfied me. And most people just don't actually understand and dont bother to educate themselves on anything. They go through a general crappy relationship and recognize some of the manipulative speech patterns that we all adopt from time to time, and think they know what it's like to experience "a narcissistic relationship" That is even worse for me and I feel even more discredited and invalidated. As much as they may want to be able relate and be supportive, they simply can't. It would be like trying to teach a toddler algebra and expect to walk away from the experience feeling like you've shared your complete knowledge on the subject. But you professor, you have explained these patterns and behaviors with such perfection. I was able to take actual substance, your unending knowledge and the beautiful way to express it, and I was able to give myself that validation. Thank you.I love your amazing analytical brain, your adorable sense of humor, and that smile...but mostly admire and respect your contribution to the world by becoming the expert you have. All of the behavior science breakthroughs and contributions you've made are truly breathtaking. Wikipedia says you're married lol but I find your complete and impressive knowledge, and your expression of it...sexy and captivating.

[@bryleeshayandcadenray]

Can you do a video of what it feels like to be a covert narcissist?

[@hey956]

Should check out these 2 KZbin channels. They are both self aware narcissists, pretty interesting. Mental Healness - his name is Lee Hammock cLuStEr B MiLkShAkE - she became aware of her narcissism through Lee Hammocks videos. They both share a lot of interesting info, how they feel and about the narcs point of view when they abuse etc. But yer, check em out.

[@monicaa78]

This is the best explanation on the differences between narcissism and psychopathy. I am very grateful for such a distinction finally.

[@michaelking4578]

I saw my ex go through a strange change when she was insulted by someone rejecting her or calling her out for some strange behavior. She would get very upset and cry and then she would become very distant and cold and eventually arrogant. Lots of black and white commentary. We had a very difficult time keeping friends. Church was always a frightening thing to attend with her because she would get offended at so many things and often would get up in the middle of service and huff and puff and stomp out and I'd have to go get her or she would be down the road walking home. Home was very far away so it was just so strange to be married to that. I believe I may be a narcissist because she is a borderline. Or maybe I was one years ago when we met. I don't know for sure but she really liked me in the beginning. I've been away from her for 15 months. Life is so relaxing and peaceful now. I'm free and I plan to stay that way.

[@dorotakrzeszewska3313]

I have recently discovered the professor through an interview with Daria Zukowska :) .. now I watch all of you and I am very grateful for each video that explains the aspects of personality disorders and the whole range of these interdependent ones. one thing is certain, no matter how long the contact with a narcissist, or a few months or a few years, they can wreak havoc and chaos from which it takes a long way to reassemble.

[@LimitlessThinker]

Thank you, once again, for a fascinating presentation. Very informative!

[@fireinthewhole]

Thanks for this video. I've tried to explain my ex with BPD to people who have never experienced it, and from now on I will just send them this video and tell them at which point to start watching.

[@rickprol-pc8ds]

Sam Vaknin is top of the line alright in his brilliant analysis. I just went through like a year long friendship with a serious borderline personality disordered woman and he describes her note for note!! So hard to understand it when you are dealing with this kind of stuff. I really have to thank Sam for all I have heard so far!! MERCI!!!!!!!!

[@jessiccabatista6044]

Dr. Vaknin, Thank you always for your professionalism and for your insight. You have also displayed a sense of humor. (:

[@serena8429]

thanks Dr Vaknin, this was very interesting! I hope you'll talk more about psychopaths in the next videos

[@samvaknin]

There are quite a few videos on psychopaths in this channel.

[@lauralusk6292]

Completely Impulsive !!! Omg how did I survive all this disfunction?!!!

[@melaniehowes7367]

My god this is fascinating!!!!!

[@infojunkie425]

Sam, I have been watching you for years. I have never commented but at 27 minutes into this video I had to hit pause to give my mind a moment to finish its expansion. I have had 2 intimate relationships with what I've always assumed were narcissist. One malignant and one covert or introverted. I always suspected the malignant to be a sociopath but through all my research I could never nail it down with the explanations I found. This video put all the pieces into place for me. Your explanation of psychopath is my malignant narcissist. I haven't finish it yet so cant wait to push play again. Of course, besides researching the things that I am not that I encounter, I'm also putting a lot of time and effort into understanding what I need to fix about me in order to never attract these kind of people in my life again. Thank you for this video. P.S. my malignant narc/psychopath actually declared "our song," to be Mirrors by Justin Timberlake lol

[@artemisia77782]

There’s a lot of mirroring anyways in codependency as one of deepest wound shared is the abandonment issue. In my relationship i was SEEING the mirroring whereas my Ex wasn’t at all, keeping on gaslighting and projecting. I tried my best to show him but that’s totally pointless because they’re terrified admitting what they don’t like about you - or what they attack in the other person - are traits they carry themselves (on some degrees) but refuse to see.

[@ndenizm2251]

Just watched this entire video and I’ve cried throughout. I fell in love with a guy who turned out to be a narcissist as we dated for 3 years then kept talking for almost another year until he discarded me. I was diagnosed with BPD when I was 17 however I have tried to outgrow many of my symptoms bc I want to be better for myself and the person I end up with. However hearing all the things about borderlines reactions really hurt bc the mental rollercoaster is so true when you’re truly rejected. I would say I’m not in it as badly. I can distinct reality from fantasy but the rage and emotions vs loss of empathy that happen when someone hurts me is very true. My narcissistic ex idealized me so much and stalked and chased me until I ended the fantasy for good with something that happened and immediately found someone else and now idealizes her over me. I am nothing to him now he despises who. I am . It turned me into the one who chased. This video has made me so aware to the narcissistic abuse I endured but tried to act like didn’t happen. And it’s also making me realize that’s why he thought I was perfect soulmate for him. Most of what you say makes so much sense. It’s quite haunting. I wonder if a narcissist can change or outgrow the disorder or someone like me with borderline. Some times I feel I have outgrown many symptoms but then other times it can be very difficult.

[@mokie2999]

It’s like you are telling my exact story! A three year relationship followed by 18 months of total chaos, confusion and....hell. I’m so sorry for you - for both of us. I’m in therapy now and am discovering how my own issues contributed to this situation. I hope you are healing and finding some peace. ❤️

[@Princess-ef2ux]

Run 🏃🏻‍♀️ my friend, run as far away from them as you can. Save yourself!

[@MorgannaRoseannaDanna]

I believe that I've heard Sam say previously that narcissists do not change (like, no chance of it), but that borderlines can and typically do as they age.

[@Thrivinlily]

You can have traits and not the full blown disorder.

[@marizamentzou3293]

I see a lot of content demonizing narcissists while in fact, they are also responding to trauma with this behavior. It's a different way of coping. It's kind of a shame that in our society it's so on trend to just blame them and preach cutting contact with them when they are also suffering. This video is really useful after so much content out there about how WE see them. It's an eye opener to hear how they view us.

[@a.k.4085]

I listened to this intensely, over and over again only to come to one conclusion: my ex "whatever he was", is it possible that he was both? I don't see how this is possible, but I also don't see how it is impossible. He fits into both categories. He was a Chamelion. If I had not stayed away from a romantic relationship for the years that I did, to avoid such disasters, this man could have messed me up mentally for life. I didn't dodge a bullet, I dodged a cannon from which there possibly could not have been a recovery possible for me. Talk about grateful I called it off. I'm amazed at how well I did it. No bragging, just astonishment. I went with the "gut instinct"... some things were not at all as he made them out to be. Like pieces that don't fit in the puzzle. I won't return so I will never know the entire facts while I'm alive. Just bewildering.

[@JoanieCollinsVillaverde]

Perfect. this is a brilliant explanation of what is a very confusing experience. Thank you.

[@bleuneptune]

Finally I understand why he called me "evil" a few times which is just very odd... No one in my life ever called me that. and it was so out of blue..

[@denisemorris5583]

Dr. Vaknin is an awesome communicator in several languages. Thanks to him for offering this accessible information. 😂❤

[@astrangeday3412]

This is wonderful, Dr. Vaknin! Could you do a similar video on a cerebral, vulnerable, covert narcissist? Thank you for all that you do!

[@paivikeskitalo1515]

Very very interesting way of explaining. Fascinating. USEFUL to know when amongst people. I HAD NO IDEA THESE PERSONALITIES COULD BE DESCRIBED WITH SUCH PRECISION. Now I feel I'm beginning to understand. 🤓

[@antigoni5232]

OMG!!! my mother has borderline personality disorder and it's the first time an analysis makes so much sense. The crisis is exactly like this and it is so abusive and horrifying. So true that she sees you as an object to eliminate!!! Plus the fantasies of grandiosity!

[@icwhy4366]

Having trouble managing my ADHD at times, I couldn't imagine how exhausting it must be for a narcissist when hes looking for a mask up there..

[@SethWestmore]

8:46 - 100% feel this way all of the time. No one understands when I explain while looking to understand myself. I always come off as "Leeyore" and piss everyone off.

[@beccyreece6704]

With the narcissist - what you say about reality vs fantasy. So, you try to tell them about reality - their eyes glaze over as it breaks the fantasy. In the experience I saw … you could see him unable to comprehend gravity/space and time (in reality). So sad. This is so sad. But it’s these types of videos that help us change the course and save lives, the lives of the victims.

[@d.w.96318]

Only when one sees his/her own covert manipulative behavior at the beginning of an abusive relationship and the transition to narcissistic/psychopathic behavior towards the end of the relationship did he/she realizes the complexity of this dynamic and there is no fault to assign to except to his/herself. Only then does the "insert whatever disordered" individual starts to heal in any meaningful but very painful way(Mortification). Key: Honesty to oneself with brutality, go where it hurts the most is the key to real meaningful and not fake narc healing.

[@bluemm2852]

Thanks for your comment. I am a narcissist trying to heal and wish there were more helpful healing tips in resources like this.

[@raahustaja7267]

I believe that healing inevitably takes time, is gradual and there are setbacks. I recommend journaling or any type of free writing as a method to explore your inner life. You may also need a good therapist, not just any life coach but someone who goes deeper into personality structures and knows about trauma/narcissistic abuse. Pain is inevitable when facing your own dark side and vulnerabilities but your life quality will increase over time. Life feel so much more real without escapism/constant liying and self deception.Or at least with less of it.

[@melissacarl2002]

Shoot. How do you get away from a psychopath.

[@d.w.96318]

@@melissacarl2002 Keep saying FUK NO, then COVID19 happened.

[@d.w.96318]

@@raahustaja7267 It takes a lot of time and mental energy, even that, sometimes, you would think the darkness would engulf you forever. Lucky for me(can't speak for anyone else),the healing is a very long back and forth struggle, but the accumulative effect of intent to heal, intent to be humble and intent to be thankful helped me to reach my end of the tunnel, after that point, healing feels really rapid yet still painful.

[@EleniBelle]

You and your whole channel is a gem

[@samvaknin]

While channel? What's that?

[@EleniBelle]

@@samvaknin Sorry I meant whole! 😊

[@Coolkid-o9l]

6:18pm Pac time. After watching this I understand so much better. I also was confused. I was diagnosed w/borderline in my early 20's, now I'm 56 and considered myself fairly healed since I haven't acted out in any way for 25yrs. Sam, you said in another video to look at my part and I did. The tendencies were still there and N saw that. You're right, he was my hero and made me feel safe. I was able to get away (5 months no contact) after a 10 month relationship and I'm working w/my therapist on why I was attracted to him. Thank you.

[@galatian5]

I've always wondered the distinct differences between the two. I love this thoroughly explanatory video.

[@izzysodupe6591]

Sam , you hold your audience captive . Really good at what you do . Educated and honest . Too many bullshit guru self made “Life coaches “ online anymore. Confusing and misguiding people.

[@lilil7351]

Oh my. Now I understand! The other videos I see regurgitate the facts but miss the real meaning behind them. Now I know why I couldn't find out if a friend(enemy, stalker) was a narcissist or borderline! Borderline is a failed narcissist!

[@alexgorlechen5059]

This was great! Every person should watch these. These people are out there!

[@strangerthings1984y]

Yes, my ex starts the argument asks a question, when you have too good of an answer, that makes him look bad, he will start over with the same question, you will say, you answered that already, and he will demand an answer, he then brings you full circle and continues this gaslighting until you are exhausted and he wins. He cannot be alone for a second. He actually has a friend that lives in his house with his family (wife and kids) and I never see him in a car alone. He has actually called me to " shoot the shit' because he cannot stand being alone in his own thoughts for literally five minutes. He is very smart. He REFUSES to use email or text because he is then liable for his words. He demands to use the phone which I cut him off from after 11 years...finally. When he argues it's such a show that over those 12 years of living with him, I always found myself saying " it's just you and I here, there is no audience". He is VERY lazy. He is a hard worker at work because that is the outside world. His friends and family adore him. At home, he won't clean, he won't do anything with kids, he does nothing. I put a basket in his closet for dirty clothes and he purposely would throw the clothes on the floor, next to the basket. When my son wa 5 mo old we showed up at his families house for a party. He ripped my son out of my arms to walk into the house because he wants to SHOW how good of a father he is but then leave the child with me the entire time with no help for hours. He HAS to attend every party every scene to be there, be known. He is very very loud, he has to be heard across all the rooms so that everyone knows he is there. He is very charming and funny (to others not me) very jovial. He undermines women because his father did too. Women are beneath him. He will talk you up to others in front of you, but belitte you in private. Everyone loves him and you look like the party crasher, well, I did. I am in introvert, so he loved making me do things I didn't want to do. I tried to talk at a party once and he literally stepped in front of me to talk and shut me up and made me feel stupid. I am going throug a custody case with him now, he is pulling every dirty thing he can, he would have me executed if he could get away with it. I know narcissm, all too well.

[@miriyoussefxx]

I am very sorry that you had to go through all this. Detach from him, spend time with yourself to learn the lessons, and embrace your the person that you will become. 💕

[@sk.n.9302]

I've been learning from your blogs & videos now since 2001. Always focused, clear and revealing.

[@Esedocthechemist]

She was abused by her grandfather when she was about 5 years old, her mother never acknowledged it. She’s the only person who has ever overwhelmed me in such a hurtful way. I’ve never been hurt so much by someone. We have a child. I wish one day she could understand my experience with her. It’s been 4 years and she does not see me as a human being. I’m an a image in her mind, not a breathing, seeing creature. Her word is law. I’ve never met someone like her. She slept with my coworker then told me it was my fault. She hovered me when we broke up. She hovered my coworker via a fake Instagram account. I feel like I have been captured. I do not feel free or human even.

[@hackedaccount5116]

I have followed your channel since day 1. I really appreciate you Sam, you have taught me so much,(-I have a tendency to attract Narcs/“bad boys”. My psychologist thinks I’ve tried to receive the love and care I never received from my own father,( and I have a troubled past/an easy target I guess), but I’ve learned a lot, among other things that I’d rather fly solo than in bad company. I owe a lot to you, 🙏-thank you!! 😊 ✨🌹✨🌹✨