Masks of Sanity: Narcissist Mutations

The psychopath wears the mask of sanity effectively - why can’t the narcissist? Because the narcissist is already wearing a mask (False Self, Wunderkind). Because the narcissist IS a mask.
Typologies and classifications of narcissists: Million, Westen, Kelly, Vaknin. Classic (Overt), Covert (Shy, Vulnerable, Fragile), Compensatory, Inverted (Narcissist Codependent), Somatic, Cerebral, and other subtypes.
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[@Sophie-uc8vp]

I absolutely agree with you that the narcissist does not appear normal to a normal healthy person. I recall introducing my friend to my ex covert narc and she visibly shrank from him in terror. I watched her and I looked at him through her eyes and he looked hard, cold, mean. Terrifying in fact. I recall various moments in time in which I would see him observing my emotional reaction and I could see him trying to work out what I was feeling. No they are not normal.

[@Cristiano2012NL]

Psychopaths and narcissism are very scary people especially when they get older, their disease comes out more because the normal mask doesn't work anymore,,, they get very mean and false if you spot through their false mask,,, they see people as objects en not more, and they select peaple and when they want something you have they become very charming and give you compliments to arouse empathy and that happens step by step and most of the time you don't realize their plans,,, when you get them and you works against will they punish you or make you angry making you want to attack kind of a nuisance campaign, the only thing that helps is to stay away from them and do everything they can to show nothing, no joy or sadness!!

[@adrianataffuri8507]

You are absolutely correct about the narcissist that you can tell right away! I knew something was off. But i made excuses. He was a Dr Charming, witty! Was a living hell! Glad I am free of him.

[@sierrarashaan]

We definitely knew that something wasn’t right from day 1. Several signs. Too many to remember. It was just ignored and we stayed in denial.

[@lucykennett6076]

The classic narcissist is the covert narcissists wet dream, which will never come true. Quote of the day for me 🤣

[@ammitlakwani4638]

Now i realise how the narc friend of mine would move on so easily from person to person....i mean very abnormal...he would try to be friendly with the other person but if the other person would be a little cold he would move on to the next....getting friendly extracting and moving on...

[@Dr.RivkaEdery]

This is so detailed, accurate and encompassing. Your lectures and publications have literally moved mountains. I listen to you and feel restored. Thank you so much, Dr. Vaknin.

[@englishwithsanjuktadas]

My experience has exactly been the same! I always feel restored.

[@SuperCraigburton]

Hey that was great, years ago i thought a narcissist was just someone who loved themselves, having had a long term off and on relationship with someone who is a narcissist, and doing some research on the subject, everything falls into place. They are the most odd human beings and i certainly will know the signs now. Hopefully i will not be the vulnerable person i once was, they really mess with your head. Thanks you Sam

[@chrisjenkins8450]

I did indeed know something wasn't right 10 minutes into our 1st encounter and ignored it.

[@kristylarochelle1858]

Same here.... I said you must be a narsissist the first 5 min we met not a day removed from the ending of my 18 yr relationship i was a mess easy target . How did i get this lucky my intuition was screaming RUN....But i couldnt trust myself at the time. 3 years living in a fantasy world fake love fake future plans that never come to be I want to scream I'm so mad at myself.... I was right from the start....

[@virginiaandrade8009]

...You mean you met him in person?

[@dianevanderlinden3480]

Yeah. My first instinct was 'user'. Then I talked myself out of it. Don't be so judgmental. You need friends lol.

[@renialeksandrahagen9628]

The main reason I am here on KZbin, is you! Please stay, in spite of all the self-styled experts and list makers. You are a lifesaver. Thank you!

[@christophemouawad6971]

Professor Sam Vaknin 😂😂😂 you made my day. I have been almost 3 months in therapy with no to negligible results. This is my 9th video from your channel and I am healing by the minute. You deserve a Nobel prize ❤😊

[@aarkaarkangel]

More like: Narc (Sammy boy) 1 Victim (you) 0 Just a simple view of His Imperial channel is a psychological win for him. Then you comment worshipful praise to his Imperial Glory. WTF are you doing? Get a qualified therapist if you feel you need help. Make sure the accreditation is real! Jesus!

[@NancyDecker-u8g]

​@@aarkaarkangeljudge not ...lest you be judged

[@kevinsmith5318]

Wow! So so true. When i first met my ex narc i remember quiet alarm bells going off in my head. Something seemed just not quite right... but i took up with her anyway for the next four hellish baffling rolling in the mud years. If only i knew then what i know now

[@morganackerly721]

Love that sanity is a mask. Madness is a tunnel.

[@Canaday291]

I was married to a psychopathic narcissist and learned the hard abusive way that his only purpose and mission was plotting and scheming to sabotage and destroy our happy peaceful loving family I worked so hard , devoted and sacrificed my life to build and uphold against all of his constant attempts to tear us down and rip us apart He is not who he wears his mask to appear to his public. He is the complete opposite . An imposter he has become our worst nightmare and worst enemy . Our constant abuser. I was in denial for so long that anyone especially my husband and the father to my 4 beautiful innocent children is capable of being that evil. Boy was I wrong ! He belongs in an insane asylum for his heinous insidious acts and irreparable damage he has done to us

[@rodsmith1090]

I admire your strength

[@lorabor8967]

I know exactly how you are feeling. You're not alone. Strength and peace be with you!

[@jrs5784]

@Nancy Elizabeth Suver - How did you overcome the denial? It’s like I have a vail over me and can’t really see and accept that my husband, the father of my kids who I’ve been with for over 30 yrs, is so evil and that he did all these horrible things to me, to us, on purpose. I think I believe that deep down, he’s really the good person he always pretended to be and I believe his lies and excuses. Many times I don’t have the appropriate disgusting reaction to his behavior and don’t see him as a monster like I should. How did you start seeing and accepting that he’s so evil and actually having the normal reactions to this evil man? (Hope that made sense. It’s too hard to explain.) Thank you ♥️

[@jaujosie7229]

I just filed for divorce in May, and realized the same, after my horrendous( and kids ) , witnessing a demon tearing down like an evil maniac, 24 years of marriage and 2 children. Unless you live it , one can’t describe the terrorist actions upon discard!!

[@Naraa001]

How did you have 4 children from this man? Are you an inverted narc?

[@Lulu-pq5wq]

Very important point: if the person with a string of degrees has not specifically studied cluster B very deeply, there is no point listening to anything they have to say about the subject. Seriously. In fact my husband loved going to counselors because they bought his schtick completely, commiserating with his victimhood.

[@donnaparks1919]

Its Hell dealing with one

[@davidlewis1468]

Mine was a mental health nurse and her co worker was a extremely overt narc. I stiil wonder how well educated about their own illness they are. They bullied and looked down on everyone. Well i studied hard and fast. I called them both out hard and with precision. I saw the worst narcs ive ever met. Im still not sure what my narc really was but its dark and twisted enough to disturb me deeply. You see into the void and there is nothing but hidden lies, past treachery and cowardly ill informed decisions that will remain hidden at any cost. Good luck good people.

[@kristylarochelle3772]

The first 5 minutes of meeting him my intuition was screaming RUN!!!!!! 3 yrs later I wanted to call an ambulance at least once a month like a rescue mission.

[@nardosarayayohannes]

Sam you filled my evening with laughter when you said coffee disorder as you picked up your cup of coffee..

[@christinasapphire5511]

My experience was I reached my pain threshold, I had a horrible night of pain, I fell asleep and when I woke I had a huge Epiphany and decided I would never allow someone to damage my thoughts to that level again. It felt like I had a near death experience. When I went outside the entire world looked different. I saw new colors, green was so green, the sky a triple blue, things were miraculous. I was 28 years of age and I still have that same vibration of gratitude.i felt my mask was removed. I didn't even know I had a mask.

[@LDSOREpreparatorycoursebyDrSud]

I am still living with a narcissist as i have special needs child and it is complicated to explain. But your videos are amazing. It is living hell for both me and my child. I have discovered that i am really a very very strong person though. Sometimes, i sympathise with him because he has been exploited by his brothers and sisters and they snatch money from him in exchange for narcissistic supply. I did not know why he gave them money until i watched your videos, now i understand! They speak sweetly and snatch money, whilst turning him against me and my child.

[@babi9784]

I hope you are well now,God bless you!

[@Patri75t]

I think this was one of the best descriptions of the'masks' and what is behind them, or rather what is not/the void/s. I always learn so much P Sam, thank you for your work, explanations that provide clarity, and also for referencing additional scholarly sources. I so appreciate your sense of humor, LOL, and rightly calling people out (the infestation of trending opinion).

[@samvaknin]

I was the first, in 1995, to connect narcissism with masks: samvak.tripod.com/narcissismemotional.html

[@angelablaney4575]

I saw the demon behind the mask fully on an occasion of intimacy, where his whole body took on a full demonic appearance in every way. And his home, had strange noises, and on sleeping his snoring took on a demonic frog noise. The most crazy moment of my life! Brian sandford from Bournemouth Poole area, his first wife died of a heart attack, his second left in terrible pain. His word salad caused me to have a heart attack and later shingles. This demon checked up on me in the bathroom, where I retreated to escape, to check whether I was ending myself!? And told me to kill him! What extraordinary madness! Luckily I'm out 5 months almost.

[@CheezhOfficial]

It's true. From the moment you meet a narcissist you notice something is special about them. Maybe autism didn't make me understand it earlier.

[@flower_goddess1279]

Thanks to Sam Vaknin, I have renewed interest in going back to literature to enhance my learning .

[@kuwapa]

Yess!! I had the same insight and a good laugh with my late Uncle Mike over a beer about just such a realization on the nature of sanity. To something I said he asked, 'Are you sure you're not just insane? And I replied, "yes! But we are all insane! It's just a matter of to what extent!"😄

[@jbjohnstone581]

I love listening to your videos. You teach to such a high standard. Thank you for your knowledge. 🙂

[@lynnekulick3262]

I've learned so much, I thought it was alcoholism.... Very sad and painful realization after 30 years and 3 children....I amin the process of leaving

[@rodsmith1090]

Mine gave me high blood pressure after I married her and ton of anxiety..there vibration is negative

[@mimib6893]

Rod Smith: Oh God, you got the nail on the head as I hyperventilate the last 2 days and take my 2nd dose of 2 different blood pressure pulls early or 3 times a day rather than 2. He's in the hospital now with pneumonia and has health issues pretty severe for 62 after years of drug abuse. But I swear I'm gonna die first if I don't get my ass outa here. Signs of rheumatoid arthritis starting too. Read the book or look up the talk "The Body keeps Score". Fascinating.

[@mimib6893]

@Griff its not a competition. Its a continuum- varying degrees like autism. Mine almost killed me. I think we get caught off guard when a woman is a narc cuz it's expected less, found less maybe. We get this mother- nurturing female idealism in our heads and are more shocked when a woman is the culprit. Both are soul-less monsters!!!

[@Canaday291]

Same here! The malignant narcissist ex gave me high blood pressure, c- ptsd, autoimmune disease and herpes from constantly cheating I was married to the devil

[@themegaislandman]

@@mimib6893 Certainly not found less. It started in the beginning of time when Eve went her own way and was beguiled by the serpent to eat forbidden fruit. Shalom Mimi.

[@Nancy-yw1rr]

@Griff You've never met my stbx. He's violent, calls names, spits, throw food and water, punches holes in walls and doors, hits, chokes, punches, kicks, makes threats, curses, screams in the car, drives crazy when he's mad, binge drinks, wastes money...I could go on, but you get the idea.

[@s4sh1976]

Off course we know who is the narcissist from the begining But they manage to convince us that they are going to be diferent with us isnt that narcissistic? And by doing that they are just showing us or train us on how they want us to treat them What a mess!

[@ayshamorris7652]

Sam you are right mate! You know there’s something wrong but the target is either gullible at the time or looking for a challenge or a crazy bit of fun... that goes wrong.

[@camermaidjewelry]

I really appreciate your channel, thank you! I am honestly wondering if there are any sane and healthy people the more I learn. This is very disconcerting.

[@emeliabailey9770]

Narcs have blown a fuse.

[@LimitlessThinker]

My ex-husband, a cerebral narcissist, used to often say “How do you like them apples.” Thank you for recommending books that provide new insight, for ongoing research. Your expertise is well appreciated. So often, I'm left amazed. No question you are the top expert of this field.

[@samvaknin]

Personality Disorders in Modern Life by Millon and Masks of Sanity by Cleckley.

[@rdkbialek]

The best video ever. Because of you I have found myself. This episode is exactly about my self

[@dannathan9110]

“Of course when you cannot resolve a dissonance, what do you have? Coffee!” 😂

[@Kristin-mt2jw]

Lol ‘in short best possible husband material.’ 🤣 I almost married the one that you described. Thank you!

[@cherylmcconnell4380]

Thank you. My husband is covert narc when he is sober and turns into classic narc when he smokes meth. You explained it so acutely, I thought you could have known my husband. I am now after 23 yrs ready to move. I am feeling stronger for myself but, I still feel sorry for him. Why?

[@jillianminton8506]

Tramua bond

[@josefinhaggstrom9705]

You sense the distraught traumatized small child beneath it all

[@cherylmcconnell4380]

Its been 2 years since I moved to another state. I feel good about my decision. In therapy and taking care of myself is hard but worth it.

[@cherylmcconnell4380]

@@josefinhaggstrom9705 yes. I've finally with the help of therapy relized that. Its been 2 yrs now since I moved out of state. Doing much better now.

[@bussagirl]

Thanks Sam for providing your very informative description of the "Unprincipled Narcissist" A perfect description of my ex-husband. Wish I had known all of this before I married would have saved myself a lifetime of misery 😊.

[@lilabakhshi7997]

Yes yes yes it’s so true loneliness can do that to damage people to put up or to be unrealistic

[@briancornish2076]

Narcissism is the norm in a consumerist work from home society . We are all washed up

[@Makewayproduction]

People like Robin Williams were able to break free of the sanity mask we are all indoctrinated with. Although that didn't end well for him.. This video makes more sense then anything I've listened too. My borderline ex lived life to the fullest.. although I feel that has something more to do with anxiety and been easily bored. Thanks Sam, this makes perfect sense.

[@pagemastrogiovanni9195]

As a Russian Studies minor, I read a lot of Dostoevsky, Tolstoy, and Nabokov. I agree literature does expose human psychology in great detail. BTW I am a graduate of Emory University...glad you mentioned Westen.

[@zandraleezee]

Again, a heart & soul filled thank you for such a tremendous overview & directive to pursue further scholarly review in this area. I can see where this subject can be a life's pursuit. At a ripe old age, you make me want to live a long time & investigate. :-)

[@charlietaylor1985]

Wow, you go really deep in explaining these different types of NARCS. You makes it so clear to understand. Thank You for passing your knowledge on to us. Bless You!

[@_Gustav027_]

I want to change, I really do. I’ve done so wrong to people. Thank you for your truth.

[@jaiid]

Yes, the red flags were always there from the beginning..

[@elmarierosenblatt1271]

Professor Thank You for sharing your vast academic speciality with us. Most of all , i am gratefull for the ALERT , regarding fake professionals in this field.

[@cmayber3188]

Hello Sam Vaknin can you do a video on why the baby boomer generation is so narcissistic and arrogant and selfish and unapologetic?

[@hopeinhumanity.]

Yes please!

[@niajuita7424]

Suchhhhh an AMAZINGGGGGGGGGGGGGG information Profesor..im very impress of your KNOWLEDGE from this topic..the BRUTAL TRUTH about SANITY reallyyyyyy..thank u so very muchhhhhhhhhhhhhh Profesor..

[@edajmolm2152]

Wow.. That is exactly him. Living with him for 8 years is exhausting I finally have enough. Working on our divorce now.

[@tunisiathompson7677]

This is so informative! I’m so glad I came across your channel!

[@dianahferreira5779]

Very insightful Sam. Good to have vocabulary for what some of us already knew spiritually. Thank you sir for your wonderful references. Will order some of those books for my own edification and that of my loved ones.

[@marciareynolds1869]

Yep,I had epiphanies a few times and I escaped some of his wrath. His partners after me received what I saw in him. A lot of aloneness in the relationship with him.

[@tangledroots9078]

Correct. 100 percent. You have to stop surviving yourself. Very hard thing to accept.

[@cindyneely50]

Thank you, Sam for sharing the link to REAL information based on true research. I am so grateful to you for sharing your knowledge.

[@summersummer9659]

Sam you are amazing!💜

[@davidlewis1468]

Can a covert whos educated in mental health choose to be a different type of narc. I swear that mine used all aspects of this disorder as and when it suited her needs. She was very fragile but her friend was Overt it was like watching mine practise being like her friend. All i saw was damage everywhere i looked and in every conversation. Mine was 47 , divorced with two teenage boys that was narcissistic them selves and always blew her out and choose to stay with the dad. Now i know why. I hurt her so bad when i called her out hard. I cant imagine the wounds she carries. I do worry about the borderline thing. She had suicidal thoughts before. She self harmed many times. I saw it 3 times. I contacted the ex husband and i validated his previous pain and he validated mine. He didnt have a name for her behaviour. Well he does now. Her job was the one stable part of her life that gave her so much supply and praise as a nice person that cares. She was a snake. Her friend the enabler and co dependant flying monkey had two little girls. That supply matrix between them was a massive feed back loop of self satisfaction and grandiose arrogance. Not health at all. Mine loved the attention and hated the fact that her children dont need her for anything. She also envied my relationship with my own child 8 yr old boy. He didnt give her that much attention and she hated it. I saw her get moody ect. I left the first time i saw her do it to him. I told her its her job to build a relationship with him and not his job to build it with her. I couldnt let that go so whatever her pain or disorders im out thanks to SAM.

[@davidlewis1468]

SAM. I kept a diary. 1 yr 4 months of detailed chaos. My little princesses father was an outragious overt child . She hated his lies and drinking and his shame talking. In my narcs teenage yrs she had very bad skin and was teased relentlessly. Girls would phone her house and tease her brutally. I felt so sorry for her. She never knew who was doing it but it went on all through school. What i saw near the end of our relationship was that she could be as nasty as the girls that bullied her and hated herself for being exactly like her father. Its a dark and disturbing read. Its nailed shut with the word covert written on it. If you want a detailed look at the complex situation i found myself in with the three narcs i was dealing with at the same time. My sons mum is a covert narc as well. Ive been dealing with her for years. I didnt see this last one coming. I was targetted , groomed, manipulated, lied to ect. She ticked all the boxes many times. Willing to share if it could be useful. I feel like ive been in the perfect storm.

[@Petequinn741]

Demoralized, embarrassed and broke.. Time to leave..these vids have been hitting home

[@angelageoghegan6405]

Thank you for your deep insight on the typology of narcissists... my ex-boyfriend is most probably a Covert Borderline... After I left him, he plunged into his next relationship within three or four weeks, who proclaims to be „half a borderline“ and thinks she has narcisstic traits as well... I was shocked when she confided this to me and not enough, she has doubts of being able to be a good mother to her son, without being in a relationship... and even committed that she’d wish she wouldn’t be so dependant... She doesn’t want to leave him, because that would mean to go back to her ex, a depressed alcoholic, who seems to be too broken, to live through his narcissism. I believe she could be a inverted narcissist. I’d love to read your thoughts of someone thinking to be a borderline with codependent narcissistic traits. So grateful I have discovered your KZbin channel - many thanks for helping me back to my sanity again! 🙏🏼

[@webiriss]

Amazing insight on psychology/science. Your efforts are very much appreciated. Thank you!

[@idreamediwaskafka7606]

Thank you for this, sir. Though I am aware that I have some of these, I am able to become more fully aware of the possibilities. And I am pretty sure that it stems from childhood -- and it makes me an advocate against childhood abuse.

[@annabristol1125]

Very pleasant, animated dissertation, much appreciated! Thank you!

[@user-ls2fh6qr8q]

Read Chekhov's short stories- he studied human nature.

[@eternalchange5496]

It would be great if you did a video on the recent slew of self-styled “enlightened” gurus on youtube (Actualized.org, Connor Murphy, etc.). They consumed psychedelics and came up with ridiculous conclusions where they literally become hyper-narcissistic. In short, make a video on the effects of psychedelics on narcissists!

[@IwillEndureToTheEnd]

If sanity is "acting" - does this mean that behind the acting there is only insanity? What lies behind this "acting"?

[@izzysodupe6591]

Damn Sam ... hard core on Covert Narc !!! I kinda laughed! But I know you know what your talking about ... I enjoy your knowledge. TY

[@agingchill9012]

The 3-brain system is an evolutionary intersection where reptile meets mammal meets humanity. Mother Nature is Dr. Frankenstein.

[@isaacsanders9203]

Covert narcissist 27:15

[@eschretz5363]

Would like to hear more about women who are somatic narcissists who derive supplies from their beauty & sex appeal.

[@ontherocks89]

lucky me, I got a mix of both - my ex is incredibly handsome, charming, artistically talented and obsessed with his body (diet, exercise and all that jazz), but also intellectual and cerebral. A deadly mix. Sadly despite his alluring appearance, he was very much a cerebral narc in the bedroom. Sex was sparse, mechanical, on his own terms and very short. Used as a weapon and withheld it. We could never talk about sex without him getting defensive. Worst lover I've ever dated.

[@GS-xg4nz]

Interesting. Do you think he was a male version of a 'trophy wife'? Did you tolerate him because he ticked a lot of boxes? I'm curious.

[@mimib6893]

@@GS-xg4nzI had a very similar situation, still am in it... it kinda happened like that ( trophy spouse) in my case....just my 2cents

[@kimlarso6622]

THIS=Wow! Thank You for your contributions! 🐛🦋

[@deemaali5389]

It's like you summarized npd in one hour

[@kara_xo]

wow!!! so sometimes narcissists aren’t really exposed to trauma or abuse in the actual home but could experience it outside of the home like amongst peers (perhaps bullies) and experience prolonged social rejection.

[@cherylmcconnell4380]

Happy to report I have a move date. I feel like I'm going to a funeral.

[@mimib6893]

Cheryl: Good for you. I know how scary it must be. But you know you gotta keep your move date. I'm not there yet, I would love to hear more if you need to vent! 😱 You can remind me why I have to set a move date and I could remind you why you HAVE keep yours! Good vibes sent your way!!! 🌈💔❤💚💜💙💗😆😷😫😎Mimixo

[@cherylmcconnell4380]

@@mimib6893 thanks so much. I am going to my daughter's home. Out of state. 23 yrs married, done and he only cares that I am taking the car.

[@mimib6893]

@@cherylmcconnell4380 my oldest is 23 and I was married 24 yrs ago, so we have the same timeline going on here. Freaken scary, sad, soul crushing stuff I know.....please please please keep up the momentum and I will too.....!!!!!

[@cherylmcconnell4380]

@@mimib6893 Moving saturday. So many emotions at once. I am blessed to have my daughter to help me right now. I have more support than I knew. I bet you do too. Hang in there😍

[@Nancy-yw1rr]

@@cherylmcconnell4380 Sounds about right. They always focus on the wrong things.

[@lacrossslounge5403]

WELL SPOKEN ....I AGREE

[@samvaknin]

thank you. I am relieved that you concur.

[@Theironbodysensei]

Dr Sam. I’ve been researching this for a year. I’ve been developing a method understanding the masks of narcissist. I’ve even found religious texts, crime data, and literature that link these behaviors to narcissist. Certain narcissist masks are linked with certain crimes like arson which I have found links. Thanks Dr. Sam your knowledge base has been wealth of wisdom.

[@olgababenko5102]

Amazingly insightful! Thank you!

[@pattiaden5946]

Thanks...just ordered that book; personally disorders in modern life

[@keva2751]

My narcissist suffered from such a lack of self, she was such a blank slate that she couldn't even create her own pin code to unlock her phone....so she stole mine! Because I gave it to her! And after spending 3 hours locked in the bathroom with full access to my phone, which these days is equal to peering inside our soul, she gave me back my phone and she looked like she saw a ghost....because SHE FOUND ZERO EVIDENCE OF WRONG DOING. It terrified her. And so ofcourse I grabbed her phone and with one attempt her phone was unlocked. It took me less than 10 min. To see more than enough to instantly pack a bag, drive away and file for divorce.

[@vickimartens8960]

Is it possible for a dominantly somatic narcissist to be also covert and psychopathic? Until today, I believed myself to be codependent (or possibly borderline due to recent behaviors in response to discard/abandonment)--but I saw mirror brightness in almost every single criterion for inverted narcissist! Never thought I could EVER be thought of as narcissistic . . .

[@samvaknin]

Watch my interview about the relationship between covert narcissism and psychopathy.

[@perepetyia]

Sam, huge thanks for turning this 'mental-fog-state' into readable scheme with Why's and WhatToDo's🙏. Why do You mention Wounded King archetype in connection with narci-mask, if i may pester ? And can narcissists cure themselves into 'educated normality', as soon as they copy others in a pretty decent way?

[@victoriacampbell5877]

Sam, if a well person can suss out a narc pretty much straight away then how com many psychologists are fooled by narcissists as clients?

[@andreamagyar7776]

Because they are at work too. Let's get over the day.... etc.

[@samvaknin]

samvak.tripod.com/abusefamily10.html

[@kennyfrench4701]

I have two quotes referring to sanity/insanity . The first is , "Crazy is a lifestyle not a choice , I'm committed , are you" ? And the second quote is , " The difference between madness and genius is only seperated by a degree" . Of course this is just word play yet still there is very little to no response from most people who hear it . Why this occurs is beyond me . Would this be because most Narcissists(I know) are predominantly somatic ? Or is it just a case of listening to respond Sans comprehension? Which is aknowledged as normyl in modern society ? Thanx.

[@desereeme5084]

Sam, I am wondering if you will please do a video concerning how to have a healthy relationship/marriage with a narcissist/psychopath. Is it possible? Can it become healthy? How can we make the best case scenario? I respect the a academia you bring to the table. You are in a relationship, how does it work? Will there always be secrets and manipulation? I'm sure you understand what I am getting at. I have two young boys with this man and I have been in a state of confusion for eight years. I love him. Although we constantly break up and make up. Our boys love him and need their dad. My goal is to be with him. The tyrant behavior vs loving acts and love making leave me baffled. Thoughts? Psychology? When we have a bad episode I feel hysterical, lock myself in the dark bathroom, lay on the floor and cry. I feel as if I am in pergatory, trapped between realities. I get suicidal ideation. I have started acting out when we break up. I take on his narcissistic traits. I will go to bars as an "entertainer" taking money from men and so forth. It is rage, revenge, equality, and FUN. We are also a biracial family so there is culture differences but similarities as well. Ok, that is all. Good day.

[@samvaknin]

There is a video about tips for living with a narcissist samvak.tripod.com/npdtips.html

[@desereeme5084]

See.. you are a narcissist/ psychopathy. Empathy... Walk with me smarty. I am well read on your work. CAn you please expand? I would respect that you analize (sp?)... the setting. What is your take? He is a kingly man. I want him to be mine. I have my own stability, an apartment, my boys. He does too. I love him sincerely, even a brother. I might very well be borderline. Extitentialist.. (sp?). Another topic.. please answer our questions.. we want your academic/experience opinion. Very well.. 🙊🙉🙈🤔🧐🧐🧐

[@GS-xg4nz]

@@desereeme5084 What is a 'Kingly Man"?

[@jenniferdelvecchio8757]

At first I thought overt malignant narrsist. Now I see EVERY SINGLE THING FROM EVERY NUIANANCE OF EVERY TIME. HOW IS THIS POSSIBLE? I HAVE BEEN RESEARCHING AND STUDYING PERSONALITY DISORDERS FOR A YEAR, EVER SINCE MY BOYFRIEND WENT TO PRISON FOR HIS ABUSE. U ARE TEACHING ME SO MUCH!! I HAVE SO MANY QUESTIONS I HAVE BEEN WITH HIM FOR 4 YEARS. AND HAVE TO HEAL FROM HIM TAKING Everything from me and the cptsd and much more !

[@jenniferdelvecchio8757]

I meant overt and covert and somatic and extreme magical thinking celebrity, and elitist and amorous and multiple personality disorder and schizophrenic seriously!! Wth??

[@samvaknin]

What did he go to prison for? He may actually be a psychopath. What crimes did he commit?

[@jenniferdelvecchio8757]

For asult with a deadly weapon domestic battery pimping and pandering robbery and terroristic threats. For breaking mu nose twice fractured my spine ribs and cheekbone and popping my eardrum. He used every tactic. Inter training interminant rewards silent treatment ghosting breadcrumbing gaslighting. Every! Thing. I'm really sick. Codependent people pleaser. Ur video of me having a huge part and shouldn't be xalled a victim. Eye-opening. And I now know how sick I really am. Cptsd I think stock Holm syndrome. I have so many questions. U are awesome thank u for responding xo

[@jenniferdelvecchio8757]

And he is a drug addict to chrystal meth

[@jenniferdelvecchio8757]

I have emotional ambivalence. And still think I love him and feel bad for him and trauma bonded badly!!

[@raphaelhenrique8295]

Hello, Mr. Vaknin. I only started watching your videos a few days ago, and I’ve been enjoying the ideas presented. I have a question/request unrelated to the video which is important for me. Do you think partner standards may lead to OCD/ROCD? In one of your videos you presented the idea that recently a partner in a marriage can’t fulfill all the roles expected by his partner (being the material and emotional provider and more). I’m 30 years old, I used to have Pure O OCD until I was 26 years old (I was treated), I think it started when I was 15 years old with a schoolmate whom gave me mixed signals of wanting to stay with me for months (and me not being assertive), we never stayed together. Recently I’ve struggling with a girl whom I hanged out just once (we had sex) and later on she gave me lots of mixed signals. Since the beginning of us talking (we met through a dating app) she was playing hard to get (and saying things like “I’m scared I will be too anxious when we meet”, etc...) I always reassured her that it would be no problem if we didn’t match in the date. I listened her too much (maybe the things she said put her on a place above, made herself a goddess and I had to be perfect to be able to be compatible with her). After the date she kept on postponing dates (and not being straightforward for her to set up a date), which led me to a high anxiety level, because I wouldn’t keep trying to set up date after date. It all may sound silly. But it has been 2 weeks since her and me don’t talk anymore and I came up with this idea of partner standards leading to OCD. Could you provide some sources please? Or could anyone else give me some advice please? I've been feeling guilty/doubtful of not having done/said the right (or perfect) things to keep getting to know her. In short, the feeling of me not being sufficient (meeting a standard) is crushing me.

[@silaswalker2266]

Do you have any videos on the difference between a regular psychopath and a psychopathic narcissist. Since the psychopath has no emotions, does the psychopathic narcissist have emotional needs/a need for supply like a regular narc

[@samvaknin]

Searc the channel.

[@sandraleighty8617]

I like them apples

[@jenniferdalling8233]

I relate to some things, not others. Could you please take a moment to explain the spectrum that is normal?

[@lisarobertshockeybabylon2178]

Can these variations be mixed or varied within the one covert.

[@gerardolopez2575]

Wish we would’ve called out some names at the end of the

[@moniquerodriguezfeogruber4932]

I was wondering, can a cerebral narcissist also be a covert narcissist?

[@samvaknin]

Yes.

[@mariekamburoff2362]

Phenomenal content once again Sam. Brilliant, in-depth handling of a most complex subject. Armchair diagnoses of personality disorders and subtypes of narcissism are unethical and impossible for non-clinicians, even after listening to videos. Would you know whether there is a deficiency in prefrontal cortex functions in these individuals based on the nature vs nurture theory?

[@samvaknin]

Only in psychopaths and borderlines.

[@mariekamburoff2362]

תודה

[@leticiahana9063]

can you tell me why the partner of the narcissist becomes dead like a robot through out the years exemple my mother is narcissistic and my father have maybe a disorder but I can't know what is it he is like a robot he believes my mother in any thing she sais he brag sometimes about ordinary things he does he acts like a child literally But he is empathic he is pesemestic But we call him a robot me and my brothers

[@ashleydavis3043]

by these...I am a covert narc while my mother is a overt. Both of us are cerebral. So interesting. Also self entitled “empath” (used to be)...oh damn...compensatory type is me...even the individual sex. I recently dated a somatic who preferred to masturbate and would ask how was it...oooo

[@lilli2273]

I have a low self esteem after being with a narc for too long. But I know where I come from and actively decide not to act like a narc, especially now that I know what’s up. I play I'm ok instead but am honestly humble. I feel more like a borderline now and very stuck.. but I imagine it’s impossible for a Narc that’s been like that since childhood to see the world like normal grown persona do, right?

[@runwiththewind3281]

Thank you for helping me understand me

[@antwanaynay]

I like them apples !

[@damouldo]

I get this..false mask substitute's sanity..

[@j.p.200]

I like them apples very much! 😜

[@melidobrinova1207]

You say, that narcissists are misogynist, most probably referring to the male narcissists. Who do hate narcissists women, who are straight? Also the opposite sex? And what about gay narcissist from both genders?

[@mercuryuniverse299]

I am coffee.