Masked Narcissist: Private vs. Public Personas

[@annamarietaljaard1193]

They are cruel and harsh, controlling at home.... but in public they are so charming....everybody think they are so great....

[@nancyl9099]

Exactly 💯

[@nerkfumgogi798]

this is me...i don't know why. when im outside i feel like im being hunted all the time so i guess being nice is a way of self preservation...but when im at home its like my own little piece of the world where the same troubles from the outside could arise but in a "manageable" manner...and thats where i get the URGE the lashout even over the smallest shit, its lucky i still live with my parents that are narcs themselvs and so far they are the only ones who expericance this side of me. i gotta say that its stronger than me...i don't even know where to start with working on this because it seems like i hit a brick wall and discover more stuff about me that is fucked up everytime i try, i feel like i need a relationship course because i do want to get out of my situation i just don't have anything else and i feel like showing actual empathy is a chore...it wasn't always like that, but man at 17-18 i couldn't remember the last time i cried...at 21 i can say i cry nowdays but it still feels janky and cheap whenever i do push myself to feel something,i have a serious weed addiction that seems to cause all this, its fucked up i really feel weird even writing this.

[@jbuntine1255]

My Brother , Father Over grown toddler's in a Monster costume... Glad l divorced them ..toxic to the core.

[@maryfrances1307]

“The narcissist cannot be an audience.” This explains the bored look they get when others are speaking and the irritation they show when others are the center of attention. I get the impression that they believe everyone is a narcissist, like them, and they are sharing stage time. That it is someone else’s turn to act and they’re not falling for anyone else’s act.

[@marilynrosario228]

The fake yawn 🥱

[@tahiraahmed709]

Thank u! Your videos have really helped me understand the depth of this disorder and what I have gone thru.I would like to share something I wrote after my experience in this kind of a relationship. A rotting corpse Mummified Fossilised It’s stench coated in musk and cologne What a grand facade The bright lights the ever changing costumes What a performance What an act Yet beneath the mask I have seen the core An empty hole Black There is nothing there You sold your soul to the devil In return he gave you camera lights action You take your act wherever you hear the claps No one is clapping here Take your act Take your corpse And take the sickening stench off you go Don’t come back You have no audience here

[@SelfPoisonBand]

Agree to a degree, but in another aspect i dont believe that being distrustful that people are acting around you is necessarily specifically narcissistic but rather a delusional issue as a whole, as the empath also believes everyone is like them

[@loudiaz1292]

No that's not true. Empaths know the that there are sick and evil people everywhere. I think empathic people are rare compared to how many evil , and bad hearted people there are.​@@SelfPoisonBand

[@JCDayLee]

Interesting. Because I was so upset talking to the Narc father and he said stop with the crocodile tears! 😳 I was legitimately freaking out! Scared because I had 3 weeks to move and didn’t know where I was going. He used his hand to do a puppet and mouthed “I’m not helping you with anything” looking at me with hate. I was shocked and heartbroken. And at this exact time he was laying on my brothers bed after Surgery because when he cried his crocodile tears to my brother he actually helped him. This was the breaking point for me. And 2 years later he went to my best friend’s funeral which was very inappropriate.. more validation for me that I have to stay away from him. Childish, inappropriate, and can’t be trusted. He is so mad that I figured him out which didn’t happen till I listened to Sam. Then it made sense 🙏

[@yeoman37]

“No man for any considerable period can wear one face to himself, and another to the multitude, without finally getting bewildered as to which may be the true.” - Nathaniel Hawthorne, The Scarlet Letter, 1850.

[@narcvanquisher]

But a woman can. It's her survival strategy.

[@zigorxxx]

Nice one

[@kathyspaulding5326]

When you witness the mask come off for the first time, you see how there is absolutely no one in there….just a zombie. I’ll never forget that moment.

[@deelightful6124]

Same here ! It was just after intimacy he went from hot to cold the instant we were fine he said some really hurtful things to me about me “ performance “ I felt like i failed an audition … I tried to talk to him to express how I felt… all I got was silence and disdain. He lay there with eyes closed and nose in the air. In that moment the mask was completely gone and a statue remained. . Quietly I gathered my things called an Uber and left . On the way home I blocked deleted and begin my journey to healing .

[@theresahuk-vallarino6100]

That’s the only way: walk away and not turn back because I, for one, experienced a vicious cycle. Give to Lord God and feel yourself thriving again. Slow and steady wins the race. 😢

[@Trismegistus95]

There is a person in there, they just change personas or perceived traits and interests to anything they believe will give them the attention or goal they feel they need at the time. It’s voluntarily deceitful but not a zombie. There is no need to dehumanize them. Narcissists are not born, they are created in childhood and adolescence from familial trauma.

[@rheinhartsilvento2576]

​@Trismegistus95 Dr Vaknin has said, repeatedly in many videos, that there is NO person there. This is also increasingly, my observation. It has no bearing on the matter whether narcissists are born or made. A murderer may have become murderous and destructive as a consequence of abuse and ill-treatment. That doesn't make him not a murderer. Among the various ways of dealing (or not dealing) with his abuse, he allowed himself to kill. Are you assuming that a person has to be like you to be human? Many people-and cultures- have assumed that. A narcissistic person having no person-hood in the healthy sense doesn't mean they're "not human". They are. But differently. As a healthy -or healing - person, it is very important to understand this.

[@Trismegistus95]

@@rheinhartsilvento2576 his use of stating there is no person there is hyperbole, there is physically a person there. The analogy you use doesn’t work as narcissists and murderers are not a one to one comparison. Not all narcissists commit murder. Of course I don’t presume anyone has to be like me or think like me to be human. My point is only that narcissists share a dual identity as both a victim and as victimizer.

[@alexpeppa1750]

The narcissist is a chameleon, that changes colors depending on the environment.

[@lizzierose007]

Ive had 2 in my life, back to back. I didnt think it would happen but it did. Luckily Im a strong woman, and I remove myself from the situation. I find most of the time they've been spoiled by their parents, and more likely to be the baby of the family or the favorite for whatever reason.

[@vy5922]

You deserve all success for your work and incredible honesty, which is rare; I am very thankful for all you share and all your books. Also, with every people speaking and researching about narcissism, no one has the best way to get to the point as you do and have done so far. All the best, thank you!

[@kkandbeyond]

I agree. I receive so much knowledge from Prof Vaknin's videos.

[@LorraineFitzgerald-r3z]

I couldn’t agree more! Thank you Sam!!! I’m free of my narc..figured him out within 6 months and told him it was over and to leave my flat. He left, but not before calling me a few expletives and throwing a glass photo frame across the room! I dodged a bullet and the photo frame!😅

[@maryangelikus]

Dear professor, sometimes I doubt my own capacity to grasp the extension of your lectures, as I doubt -constantly- about my own sanity and the intensions of those around me. This comment has been redacting itself for the past 4 years…you where with me on pandemic’s darkest hours and there are no words to describe how thankful, grounded (different?) I am since “we’ve meet”. What you’ve done for (to/with) my brain (health, soul, sanity, intellect, you name it) couldn’t compare it self with any of my over rated (over paid) - so called- therapist/authority figures/ teachers. Thank you. Please keep thinking and sharing. Greetings from Colombia 🇨🇴

[@fatuusdottore]

My mum 100%. She even has a little fake voice she uses that's all soft, which is nothing like what she truly sounds like.

[@LorraineFitzgerald-r3z]

Same with my ex narc bf!

[@suetrollope6245]

Mine did that at my sister's wedding!!!! It was so funny she went all soft and breathy!!!!! I even said to her why are you talking like that!?! She pulled a face,but carried on anyway,she knew i knew her real " at home" voice.

[@lesleyashton1833]

I saw the mask slip off when my ex was annoyed with someone who had, he believed, slighted him. It wasn’t pretty and manifested as cold hard fury. I saw it, physically too when he would wake up in the middle of his sleep (he used to fall asleep at 9pm every night on the dot and he would come in from the spare bedroom to me because he said I snore 🤣) and check on me to see what I was doing, for instance reading a book. His face was different but it was the eyes which were usually pale blue - they were black. I swear to God they were as black as the midnight sky. It used to freak me out. The other time and the last time was the night he discarded me and he was like a dead soul - a shell devoid of emotion and feeling. This was the real him I now believe. So, I believe they show the ‘real’ self when they are either under immense pressure, they dealing with someone who is no longer of use to them or when they’re half asleep and therefore haven’t got their wits about them to put the mask back on. I’ll never forget those eyes!

[@southernpearl]

Professor Vaiknin, you've given me the light that I so desperately needed in order to understand my marriage with all its nonsensical stuff right from the start. I can't possibly thank you enough! From the bottom of my heart ❤

[@ladycash384]

I cannot get enough of your teaching. Thank you.

[@tatianacherie]

Hello dear professor Vaknin. Can you please explain the relationship of the narcissist with death. Why if there is no one there behind the mask, they are so afraid to die? And why when they move closer and closer to inevitable death, they are so desperate and sometimes even funny to watch?

[@samvaknin]

Thank you for the topic suggestions.

[@burningproblem]

My father, as he is approaching death, says he's unafraid, but doesn't seem to grasp the concept. In fact, he has always stated to be unafraid of death. Where it used to come across as a pose, now it seems instead to be a sort of ignorance about the concept of death itself. It's very disconcerting to watch. Context: I'm pretty sure that for most of my life he was a overt narcissist. He has since collapsed into a fantasy world and will still occassionally brag about all the great, world-changing things he is going to achieve before his death. In reality, he spends his day watching TV and eating sweets, with the doctors refusing to operate on his heart because of his obesity.

[@burningproblem]

@@BlackCoffeeee Thank you for sharing your perspective. It certainly is a possibility, though, in his case, something seems off in a way that makes it difficult to believe him. I will reconsider again whether it really is not simply my miscomprehension due to my own fear of death.

[@pipoca3900]

The narcissist with whom I related lived worried about death, but was obsessed with his work, learning, researching, writing. He would say something like "that's the only thing left." So through it, I see that narcissists understand death, like oblivion... but they transcend it through the idea, only through it do they persist and they will not be forgotten. However, a narcissist can be interested in ideas and materialize them through: patents, books, papers, etc. The academic world in general is another way to prove their worth, to gain admiration and to be remembered, once they die they disappear, but the idea persists.

[@drunaisis9797]

​@@ananonym1617 What actually you mean with fear of death? Im not afraid of death, in meaning what is after human life, whatever it is, either heaven/hell, either other life, either complete nothing ... Im clean, therefore not afraid. But I am afraid, terrified of human form. Im afraid of process of dying, not death itself. Im not afraid to leave, Im afraid I couldnt go, Im afraid of state of agony between life and death. But ... actually ... I just realised we are since birth in agony between life and death, therefore, no need to worry 😎

[@syamwalker639]

Your videos are helping me to find out all my questions about my narcissist person. He makes me depress, borrow my money and I lost my job 🙈🙈🙈

[@vallis1469]

I discovered you so many years ago and it changed my life. It's fabulous to find you are in Russia now. You look fabulous and your smile is as wonderful as always. All my best to you.

[@samvaknin]

I am not in Russia.

[@vallis1469]

@@samvaknin Oh, forgive me, I thought that's what you said. It's great to see you.

[@ruffledfeatherss719]

@@samvaknin😂

[@TheWindyanne]

I would never be free if it were not for you dr , I could never explain or express the pain of abuse 🙏 thank you dearly

[@kso808]

This discussion is extremely fascinating. I met someone online just over a year ago who I suspect may be a narcissist. So much of what you say seems to be applicable.

[@jean-remynguyen5139]

Terrifying statement indeed and beautiful Climax! Thx so much Mr Vaknin

[@lorihuffstutler700]

It is terrifying. So is recognizing that I was raised by one

[@vallip4254]

Yes!!!! The self reporting. 49 psychiatrists, 4 rehabs over the course of 12-14 months, the contact on the outside a partner who played along with the narcissist ...the lies...when I tried to step in to see things more honestly so as to get my brother 'real' help I was not listened to by the staff, and was cut out of his mental health issues, and seeking good help. I was discarded. Yes!!!! My brother was All masks. He said to me himself, I have- am nothing inside..again thank you Professor...PS I would love to spend time in your library.. Goffman never heard of but now will seek out his work..

[@annemariemalan724]

😅

[@alonasamorodska9360]

I wish I would of found your videos years ago. Another great explanation. Your work is amazing, thank you so much professor Vaknin! I love learning from your videos.❤

[@Mia-gu4qh]

Thank you for this very important video. This is exactly what I told my therapist. My mother is only a thing with different masks, there is no her, no person. I can never get to know her because there is no her. It’s scary, really scary and very sad.

[@carolinekamya2339]

mine too, and my younger sister - no one home

[@JessMariaDwyer]

This is hard! To see their masks in public…they are so different at home. No one will ever believe you…especially with the super charming covert cerebrals.

[@Dr.ShaziaHanif]

Excellent 👌 message respected Sir!🎉

[@nealmessier4675]

Fascinating. And chilling. Certainly explains a lot. Thanks for what you do professor.

[@goergelucas1232]

Up until your last statement, one I didn't want to hear , as I am still hanging on to the saying (that these people are made, so why can't they unmake it, if they stepped back and had a good look at themselves) but now one is thinking that they would not have anything within them to make the plan to fix THEMSELVES,, WITH THE UNDERSTANDING OF THE PEOPLE AROUND THEM ,, JUST MADE MY DAY MATE ,,NOW WHAT?????

[@kimmonks116]

Brilliant 😂Sam..wears a mask even as he sleeps..😂Omg..I was sharing my life nearly 30 yrs..large selection of masks and smoke and mirrors..Jekyll and Hyde Covert..it was beyond belief 🥺😕but my humour remains intact 🙏😄🤩

[@jbuntine1255]

I said to my X husband before l left, l it's like being married to a person 6" under. I was talking to a brick wall for 18 yrs..

[@user-fm5fn4bw9f]

Ok Sam when i saw underneath of the mask of what i think was a secondary psychopath. He looked 5years old but in a 39 year old mans body. What did i see at the top of the stairs that day? I took what felt was a snapshot of that in my mind a second before i ran to my car. I would love your take on what i saw that day please. He was the male version of me totally in tune with my emotions...like he could read my thoughts through my eyes! No one normally can do this. Gs lighting and future faking were main tactics... i started asking alot of questions like hang on a minute why is it all about u etc id stop mid walking with him. and pouff he was gone a week later the discard, like the wicked witch of the west in a puff of green smoke and disintegrated. Thats how i saw it an way. It lasted 18 weeks...he was storming up and down during discard saying this always happens to me.

[@tathe3786]

when we were outside... for example at a concert/dance... he always had to have someone in the audience watching him, admiring him, paying attention, I was just an accessory, his arm or a leg!!! When he found his audience, he was happy!!! if he couldn't find anyone I had to be his audience... couldn't just go to the bathroom without checking out or change the dance spot without asking or letting him know! If I did this without being asked, I was the reason for his tension and dissatisfaction!!!! And he found it exhausting to be on the road with me! If he had found a stranger or several as an audience, I was also not allowed to leave without being asked, otherwise I would be jealous of the imaginary nonsense... and again he was stressed and tense and that meant that he could no longer go away with me and in the end to tantrums and discard!

[@marciareynolds1869]

Glad you wrote this. I was a ragdoll with low self esteem. He dragged me around with him.

[@michaelmcinerney8040]

Its amazing to see the lack of identity. It becomes very obvious and as you say,its everyone elses ideas,thoughts,etc that they mimic. Even their speech. They'll say something you said weeks or months ago then claim they never heard it anywhere. Constantly showing their false self and constant shame.

[@mmaidofsteel]

Fascinating topic for this video Professor Vaknin; it really makes you wonder how you can decipher your own 'self' vs a persona, and also when your are putting on a mask with others. It also explains somewhat why the narcissist can lash out for seemingly no reason when you go 'off script' or catch them unawares - which is painful because it's confusing. I really enjoyed Rose Madder too, the scene where she goes into the world inside the painting is particularly well written and you really feel the urgency & dread of the character. Good to know you're a fan of Stephen King.

[@dilfuzakhaydarova2859]

Thank you so much Dear Professor. ❤.

[@summertime80]

Existential philosophy meets psychology. I am in heaven. Lol.

[@shotdeamor]

Legend 😢

[@ТатьянаСкударнова-р3э]

Благодарю вас за то, что открыли мне глаза на многие вещи.

[@GretaC12]

My deepest thanks for your wisdom and lectures that saved me, Professor Vaknin. "There is no more terrifying statement than to interact with a mask", an entity that is capable of anything. May I conclude: normality is lack of self-consciousness versus narcissim as a constant peak performance?

[@yaseminaktas2845]

I would love to see Sam Vaknins comments about Johnny Depp and Amber Heart trial.

[@Hooligana]

Yeah me too! Bright example of narcissist and borderline

[@enoch6977]

Why do you think Johnny was a narcissist and not codependent? He passes the Uncanny Valley test with me with flying colors.

[@DKilgallen]

I presented a paper at the Sociology Symposium in college on the Presentation of Self in Everyday Life. In the early 1990’s and at the age of 24 it made a huge impact on me. Should be required reading for high schoolers

[@samvaknin]

I refer a lot to Goffman's work.

[@SarahWilson-fv5vo]

If they are an empty shell with no true self, what actually drives them in life? Do they just wear masks to cope from day to day or do they have ambition? Surely if they have goals and ambitions they must have something at their inner core?

[@samvaknin]

A virus has "goals". Does it have an inner core? Narcissists have no ambitions. They are junkies. They crave the next dose of narcissistic supply and would do anything to get it.

[@narcvanquisher]

​@@samvakninAgreed. Came across a "supportive" chameleon. A reflection of me in private, a reflection of everyone else in public. I enjoyed that hunt.

[@larryparks1520]

Wow. Nice ending, it's what I was thinking.

[@oneghost2952]

Omg! I really need to write a book!

[@Nope-ru1rd]

After weight training for a long time, I find people cannot self report on their own body movements. They can think they did one thing and then show them a video and it’s not why they thought. Now apply this to the social sciences… we are incapable of self reporting

[@tessisit2009]

Utterly delightful.

[@milo23-v4s-z7y]

Yes…😢for society, Judges are also psychopath.

[@Harideva-HungLuu]

🙏 NaMasKar, Thank You! BnK 💐🧘🌄

[@Howtostaypretty]

Ok - so I am always so grateful for each of these videos … wow is how I feel Everytime. I am confused on something - what if a narcissist is highly intelligent… your comment about how they can never be helped in therapy and such. The people, most people in their profession don’t know very much they aren’t following the evolutionary trajectories of their profession and they were trained by a very old model of education. They go off of statistics and largely the people they help don’t take control or responsibility for their own illness so follow the professionals instructions. Saying all that, what if the narcissist does know more than the professionals- how can they not take control ? And in that case, is the direction for the narcissist to keep changing professionals until they find one they don’t have to take control in the session ? If they really want help

[@samvaknin]

Search the channel for "self-awareness" and "insight".

[@heavenlymusings]

I LOVE how you say Evil Sam...Eveeeel 😊 your accent is very soothing

[@jordangraham7351]

38:00 and on has answered so many of my questions.

[@georgejohnson4183]

Thank you so much.Bad faith indeed.

[@barry_g8443]

Thank you, Sam for this absolutely pure GOLD!

[@nadiahassan1195]

32:20 this is excellent.

[@ntrlred]

Can Covert Narcissist be a real christian? He preaches in public, social media, reads, studies, regularly attends baptist church. But has no real empathy, can't stay in relationships , was a swinger in two of his 4 marriages. Runs when those "qualities" are found out. Never compliments, has panic attacks, takes Xanax regularly, but claims publicly he is going to heaven. Sheds tears when he sings hymns or speaks of Jesus. Im so confused! He dated me, treated me good, then got mean when I found out about his swinging past. He said, he wanted to "keep me around as a friend". Then if I balked at all about anything, I'd get the silent treatment. I need to get my heart back!

[@secretdiva9414]

No they can’t. It’s a mask and a plentiful supply of gullible, naive and empathic people to exploit and utilise in the church. Focus on yourself and you might have a decent chance to heal. Listen to as many of Sam’s videos as you can. Identify your own part in the shared fantasy. May the Force be with you. 🌈

[@suzystone244]

The narcissist mimics. He has to prepare a persona. In any event. Situation. Empathy is absent with these people. They are actors. Definitely get your heart back.❤

[@Foxy21919]

Short answer: no!

[@Cottagacore]

So why do they become so cruel in a relationship?

[@samvaknin]

Why don't you search the channel?

[@pirateheart21]

After 21 years of a horrific marriage I'm finally divorced do you have any advice for my 14 year old daughter that still has to go over there every other weekend and endure 4 days with only him.. Will the court system ever catch up to the fact that no minor child should be left alone with an individual such as..

[@pirateheart21]

Finally had a free moment.. sorry

[@IvanaPetrovic]

Has there been any anecdotal evidence or research if psychedelics have any positive effect on people with cluster b disorders? Like they often have transformative influence on many 'normal' people...

[@samvaknin]

Search the channel.

[@anabandana666]

Thank you for this video

[@udemgba1]

Prof Vaknin.....what is the general outlook of the narc at middle and old age....what does their life look like?

[@burningproblem]

My father in old age mellowed down a bit, with less aggressive, psychopathic behaviour. Then, after a stroke, he collapsed into covert narcissism. Sad to see, but easier to deal with in a way, though painful if you've been trained to take the bombastic facade seriously.

[@samvaknin]

Search the channel.

[@darleneingersoll6477]

I read a article yesterday they there were 5 actors who lead a very honest and ethical life, this one actor is a narcissist and he has the whole country fooled he has been trying to destroy me for 10 months.. ppl are so blind by these characters.

[@sucefraga]

hello, sir, very interesting material. will you consider making a video where you elaborate on a connexion between gender dysphoria, narcissism and addiction?

[@samvaknin]

Search the channel.

[@sucefraga]

@@samvaknin certainly!

[@nikkicheraghipour755]

Prof Sam I left my narc/paranoia husband after 18 years. My psychologist doesn’t know how to heal me in a way that you explained in your videos. Is there any way I can help myself? I doubt there are too many psychologists out there to know how to heal victims. Thanks for all your contributions ❤

[@samvaknin]

It would be difficult to help yourself all by your own.

[@tathe3786]

I sometime think be with yourselves and stay true to you and sometimes proof you gut and indentify and overwriting of false “sentences” helps in the beginning. And for me as the play got a name, the healing startet!!!

[@AK-GermShep]

Hi, you might get good results with Imaginative Trauma Therapy and/ or at least Existential Analysis and Logotherapy ( Viktor Frankl). As far as I remember Prof. Vaknin recommended this recently. I myself profited thus about 30 years ago in Germany..❤

[@collykarma8743]

After watching many videos ( Prof Sam Vaknin is the best ) and Rapid Transformation Therapy and counselling sessions I realised that I had no self worth and let people treat me as they liked to a certain degree hence putting up with emotional abuse that no normal person would accept . I was a people pleasing , co dependant who wanted people to like me ! It was a euphoric moment when I discovered this , as it liberated me and I now feel I am me and if no one likes me that is fine . I became indifferent to the narcissist as I know I contributed to the abuse by remaining there , it’s a hard life lesson and I feel now that I’m going to enjoy every minute of every day for the rest of my life . Good luck xxxx

[@khadijahnyabinghi]

You remind me of Sigmund Freud.

[@secretdiva9414]

He’s much more likeable than Sigmund though.

[@loudiaz1292]

Whet if she is a narcissist because of over parenting and pampering instead? Are they still this messed up inside?

[@samvaknin]

Yes.

[@loudiaz1292]

@@samvaknin she smiles alot and tells everybody she loves them and when had only first started dating her she said she loved me. I told her you don't know me. But she is mostly very pleasant to be around. But a few times I saw the rage for asking her when she was going to be done showering. She had been in there for 3 hours. And she was cheating on me with any man who looked at her or gave a compliment. But denied everything. She thinks she's a good person. It yook years to figure out she was a narsassist. But i told her beauty is fleeting. What are you going to do when you get old.

[@ddtafricangirl2583]

Could you talk more about the fantasy you refer to, please? I would like to understand that concept. Thank you.

[@samvaknin]

Could you watch the videos in the shared fantasy playlist?

[@ddtafricangirl2583]

@@samvaknin Yes. Thank you.

[@Nope-ru1rd]

Professor Vaknin. Are you familiar with Herman Hesse? Specifically Narcissus and Goldmund? Any thoughts? Thank you!

[@samvaknin]

Ironically, Goldmund is the narcissist in the book.

[@Nope-ru1rd]

@@samvaknin Thank you. Yes, indeed he is 😆

[@roberth2627]

With the emerging use of psychedelics in therapy ;I've read a couple of articles saying such therapies can help reduces narcissism & some of the traits such as lack of empathy etc..This might be promising for the future of helping narcissism..One of these article was by Natalia Sarmiento, Can Psychedelics Threat Narcissism ( A Emerging field Of Study)

[@samvaknin]

Grandiose ignorant nonsense. Watch my video on psychedelics.

[@Ravenafeedsravens]

There were times in the 60ies/70ies, when psychedelics were used to 'cure' homosexuality. :-/ I'm afraid, there's no cure for narcissism. The narcissist I thought I knew "well" liked psychedelics because he could immerse with the world. But that's not an individuation. It's regression back, back in times he was in mommy's belly or back in times when mommy's breast was part of him, one with everything, one with the world. Sam Vaknin, if I remember it well, called the song "We are the world" psychotic. :-( No way becoming "one with everything" as people on psychedelics often say should cure a narcissist!!! This is a disaster. It's an ultimate escape from reality. Knowing my ex boyfriend I'd even say it was harmful for him. In fact, he was abusing drugs to escape reality and live in that world of "one with everything", dragging me with him, getting upset with me because I stopped participating. It was hard to watch him destroying himself at some point. (It's over for me, but there's enough supply out there encouraging his "journeys" and joining him.) I'll read the study you've mentioned. Thanks for bringing it up. But due to my experience, I don't know, I'm sceptical. Of course my experience isn't scientific it's merely personal.

[@sallyhenderson15]

I have a question regarding articles that report that narcissism is on a spectrum. As pointed out so clearly in this lecture, (and as I have come to understand) an individual with NPD did not BECOME…..but is instead a dark hole, a void, or a ghost. How then can narcissism be on a spectrum? I believe you are either an individual with NPD or you are not. Are the discussions that are centred on “spectrum” referring to the abuse rather than the disorder? I would really appreciate some insight if anyone can help. Thank you Professor Sam Vaknin.

[@samvaknin]

Search the channel.

[@sallyhenderson15]

Thanks

[@lillianperez589]

Wow their like actors. Reminds me of Johnny Deep. Put does that means they ,they knoa?

[@karinaagliullova8270]

Professor Vaknin, you mention expressing oneself in "nothingness but in a bad way." I heard such statement from you in your other videos. I'd like to know your opinion on eastern philosophies and religions, including Buddhism, Taoism, Zen, Tantra, and lots of others, where the primary goal of the end of "The Path" or a destination, so called Nirvana, is reached when one feels as if he is nothing. Total rejection of ego and one's self. The final state that is the Nirvana that so many people are trying to reach. I have a hard time believing that all that there is behind all these philosophies and religions is to become a narcissist, which is a state of non-existance, total self rejection, and rejection of life. Did all the Buddhas and all the saints described in those philosophies nothing but a path that leads back to the womb? All the practices, compassion towards others, and meditations, make it hard to believe that the ultimate goal is the state of nothingness. What if there's a deeper meaning in nothingness? Not just the abyss or a black hole that consumes everything and everyone around but something greater. Is there a possibility that the way the western societies approach personality disorders is completely wrong and that's why it seems like there's absolutely no hope for those people and they are doomed for the rest of their lives? Is it possible that eastern societies could have or, perhaps, already found a remedy towards such disorders , or don't consider it a disorder at all but a blessing and the way social structures work there is benefiting those with disorders and people around them? That's probably too many questions, but I'd really love to hear from you what you mean when you consider "nothingness as good."

[@samvaknin]

Search the Life’s Wisdom and the Nothingness playlists.

[@Adrianne-vs7dy]

Helen Deutsche was “as if" research

[@YuliaNoer]

So sad

[@lyndatelford4370]

It all goes out but nothing gets in- definition of a performer who cannot be an audience 😮

[@jocure8232]

Bonjour! You get a french accent while speaking Russian.

[@samvaknin]

Definitely the main takeaway from this video.

[@jocure8232]

@@samvaknin I'm sorry, of course is often extremely interesting (also sometimes realy funny) what you say.

[@sabinekahane3214]

Nicht uebertreiben ☝️