SAO Abridged Parody: Episode 06

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This video is a non-profit fan-based parody. Sword Art Online is owned by A-1 Pictures, Aniplex USA, and Reki Kawahara. Please support the official release.
Opening Song: "This is War" by 30 Seconds to Mars
Cast (By order of appearance)
Rachel Michelle: Yolko
‪@0w0MikuruBEAM‬
xbubblemunkyx: Asuna
‪@xbubblemunkyx‬
YamatoSFX: Kirito
‪@YamatoSFX‬
KaggyVA: Schmitt
‪@KaggyFilms‬
Hayabusa449: Kains
/ actormmurdock
Sonicring123Dubs: Johnny Black
‪@Sonicring123Dubs‬
LordMegatronG1: Jeffrey
‪@TeamTrainWreck‬
KaiserNeko: Grimlock
‪@KaiserNeko‬
Griselda: MOM0KI
‪@caitlinmyers‬
CREW
Editor/Artist: YamatoSFX
Writers: YamatoSFX, Hayabusa449
Music Used
SAO Soundtrack
Bravely Default
Darksiders I & II
Psychonauts
Dust: An Elysian Tail
Phoenix Wright: Dual Destinies
Persona Q
Awsomenauts
The Binding of Isaac
The Batman
A Something Witty Production

[@thatlycantomboy]

_“You will never be Batman”_ is such a weirdly insulting thing to say, no wonder Kirito punched the wall

[@steventheanteater7579]

It also cuts into the idea of Kirito's trauma with failure

[@BigJames43]

When he punches the wall there's a little pop-up saying its an immortal object

[@quandarioustoddricioushorn9292]

@@BigJames43 its a nice detail.

[@nightshade2826]

The joke is that kirito is actually hurt by it. Asuna was just kidding but it turns out he actually wanted to be Batman.

[@RaikanGinro]

To say someone will never be any super hero is insulting watch, you will never be Iron Man

[@rozieredz]

"Are you kidding me? I figured it all out hours ago." Implies that Asuna either took hours to find him, or it took hours to calm Schmidt down from his absolute panic.

[@MyNipplesArePointy]

Lmao. But nah I'm going with the former. Asuna would have no reason to try to calm down Schmitt because she doesn't need to pretend to be nice with only him around

[@dr.bright6272]

Or both

[@fork4207]

Yeah probably both.

[@acerw7366]

Considering how kirito is most likely on her friends list (hence why she could find him after the sheeptar incident) I think this most likely means that she had to spend hours calming schmidt down but that is just my opinion

[@christopher_graffam]

@@acerw7366 At 16:49 Kirito says that he doesn’t friend anyone, so I don’t think that he was on Asuna’s friend list when she went looking for him in episode 5.

[@NobleYellow]

I just realized this is Jeffery from the first episode. We can see Jesus literally talking to him. HE'S NOT CRAZY JESUS IS ACTUALLY COMMANDING HIM TO KILL EVERYONE

[@tallonhunter3663]

Darn that glitched madness debuff.

[@allisonekgasit9291]

@@tallonhunter3663 I don't know, we see a ghost this episode, Jesus ain't much further off. And honestly, considering how stupid everyone is, I can see why Jesus would command such. Where do I sign up?

[@gunzkillr2436]

Obviously. But how will that work PoH in now in WoU? Cause SWE isn't known for inconsistency. Also it's Jeffery from the second episode

[@tfordham13]

​@Shy it's very very far off almost every culture has ghost in it somewhere only 1 has Jesus

[@1st2nd2]

​@@tfordham13Islam acknowledges Jesus as a prophet of God. So thats two primary religions.

[@magnaortusars3342]

I just realized that Kirito literally pulls a "Batman" on Asuna by leaving unannounced. I notice something different everytime I rewatch this lmao

[@WorldWeave]

There’s even a bat/Batman sound effect when he does that

[@dakotamartinez8310]

I am your 100th Like.

[@lopertyl6534]

he is, in fact, Batman.

[@allisonekgasit9291]

@@lopertyl6534 You know there is someone in this game that legit made the best Batman cosplay you can in that game.

[@therealmyers7826]

Not to mention earlier in the show he literally uses Detective Mode😭

[@ensignn9359]

“I can’t wait to tell my black friend about my new slaves.” Abridged Kirito is amazing.

[@mariekay.]

Honestly, all the abridged characters are freaking amazing.

[@floatingkirby5200]

Time stamp????

[@q_energical7256]

@@floatingkirby5200 just watch the whole thing pal, you'll find it

[@PenDragon-hg1lg]

@@floatingkirby5200 7:49

[@DHGTYRGODOFWAR]

Even funnier later on when he starts hating on rper's

[@redgeoblaze3752]

Wait a minute. Married players combine inventories when one dies. Kirito used Asuna's Sword to fight Kaiyaba. Asuna Only married him to get the coat!

[@silberkatze2326]

Omg

[@ericrossi4111]

man, she played a looooooong game on that one . . . . Respect.

[@natsudragneel8872]

No this is so you can get all the 1's.

[@mysticdragonwolf89]

She never wore it though...

[@tahraki4918]

@@mysticdragonwolf89 it's not about wearing the coat, it's about sending a message

[@samreid6010]

I love this writing. Them saying “Jesus Christ” and Schmitt immediately interpreting that as wanting the orphans crucified is top tier

[@SpoonROoF]

I've watched this so many times over the years and that just clicked for me

[@Dead_Storm_420]

That's hilarious on multiple levels😂 Jesus was crucified and orphans and goats were sacrificed too

[@Shrodingers_Box]

"For you see" is just Kirito's version of "OBJECTION"

[@eldorados_lost_searcher]

In one of the captions of episode eleven a few years ago, Kirito saying, "For you see!" was copyrighted and trademarked.

[@MdSolehin]

His sister also says it.

[@allisonekgasit9291]

@@MdSolehin She's the co-owner.

[@WackoMcGoose]

He had quite the Pheonix-worthy explanation, too. "My first thought was, 'why would a ghost need a teleport crystal?'. ...My second thought was, 'oh shit, window'."

[@cameronjadewallace]

The exception being episode one?

[@jaydarichmond8878]

“Hey, that one was actually pretty good Jeff.” Wait... Jeff? Jeffery? That guy from episode two who Could see Jesus! ... that actually makes a lot of sense.

[@connordervoncyberlifegesen8529]

Jayda Richmond and the one that was next to Don Fluffles

[@cameronjadewallace]

There ya go

[@-Fenixx-]

What comes around goes around. XD

[@mrguy89]

Omg, thank you. This series is top notch even at face value, but the little jokes/references beneath the surface make it even better.

[@huuweee]

yeah, was a pretty obvious thing after his mate said that this sounded good and he responded with 'thanks! Jesus told me to say it.'

[@mick2998]

Asuna: You will never be batman Kirito: *Proceeds to mary sue the entire rest of the episode in protest, just to prove that he is, in fact, batman.*

[@christiancrusader9374]

How was it a Mary sue moment? He explained how he got the info.

[@CombatSportsNerd]

christian crusader Because of the way this entire thing was settled in such a convenient way. Like how that stupid Yoko girl randomly involved them in their “web of lies” for absolutely no reason, being retarded enough to not delete the friends list, and somehow get a group of contract killers to leave just because he helped them a bit with their business. Let’s not even get into the fact that a teenager is the one who ended up solving a 6 month long murder mystery and was the ONLY ONE who knew about that fall glitch due to conveniently being the only beta tester still alive

[@CombatSportsNerd]

christian crusader Personally I think that just makes the episode several times more hilarious. It’s a comedy series. It’s not supposed to be taken seriously in every aspect

[@christiancrusader9374]

@@CombatSportsNerd To be fair, they never set up Yolko as intelligent. So it's not like he made her dumber. Also, Kirito is the only Beta tester alive? You'd think there would be more. Out of curiosity, did Yolko have any reason to talk to them in the original?

[@tinygreencreature5167]

@@christiancrusader9374 I think she asked them and they made that big deal of him being held up to a building by a sword to try and find schmidt. Like she needed their connections or something because they're higher level and part of the group that goes after the bosses. Also in the original it wasn't a fall glitch. They used the fact that objects have the same break animation as the death animation and timed it with a teleport crystal to make it look like they died. He noticed it when his sandwich died.

[@_sqwid]

I like how they give even the villains and side characters more personality than those pieces of cardboard in the actual SAO series

[@proudamerican183]

Calling those things "pieces of cardboard" is an insult to cardboard.

[@user-td6qf6fx4q]

I'm pretty sure Jeffery is from the first floor when Jesus was like "now kill them all"

[@Abs0408]

@@user-td6qf6fx4q I KNEW IT

[@nepunepu5894]

the fact they set some side characters as NPC and it works much better is funny to me

[@p.a.w.sthetravelinggamer6750]

Honestly this is 1000x better than the original so much so that I wish they could pump out the episodes weekly AND reach all the way Sao is currently at.

[@thegooddoctor8787]

I just realized how devastating Kirito's dialogue when chewing out Grimlock is. Kirito's sister in the Abridged is heavily abusive and often takes out her own insecurities on him, mentally and physically harming her brother to the point that he feels safer in a game designed to kill him. This abuse leaves Kirito feeling worthless and insecure, so when he confronts Grimlock, he's speaking from the heart. He knows exactly how it feels to be treated like a possession by someone who is supposed to love and protect you, so the fact that Grimlock murdered his wife when he could no longer control her reached a part of Kirito he'd tried so hard to bury; his sense of humanity. He rips apart Grimlock because the man had someone who actually cared for him, and he threw it away to preserve a twisted illusion of control. Edit: Just got done watching episode 17 and... well, damn.

[@gregorydaniels7610]

Very well said.

[@suspicion1352]

Funny, I thought he was speaking from his mouth, but eh. Shows what I know about biology.

[@DinsRune]

The way Kirito talks about love also sounds very much like he never expects to find it himself Which is something a broken person says

[@ZeroQuality__]

@@suspicion1352 hahaha callback

[@thetaminus2334]

​@Sept77 it's also cool to note that this is the moment that Kirito attributes to falling in love with Asuna during his sit down with Suguha at the bus. So at that point, he did found love from rallying up some of his buried humanity in the confession.

[@hadofhfo3369]

When you realize Kirito wants to tell his black friend about the slaves he just got.

[@nutoriusrhino6450]

hadofhfo OMG That’s fucking perfect!!!!!👌👌

[@arthurchallat8530]

Typical Kirito

[@watcherofmemelords7967]

To be fair, they are white so he may get a kick out of it if he likes irony?

[@watcherofmemelords7967]

@Cian McCabe ...... I'm guessing the joke went a little high didn't it?

[@lolzimop9174]

Cian McCabe Correct me if I’m wrong but the last time i checked most Japanese people were, get this, white

[@blumouse8539]

"My first thought was, wait why would a ghost need a teleport crystal." *"My second thought was, Oh shit Window"*

[@wwcr03]

this has 69 likes

[@vgg31]

"and with that, much like that window, the cracks in your façade started to form: your reaction when I suggested Kains faked his death, your barely-hidden disdain for Schmitt, The stupid ghost thing? It all made sense! You and Kains were in this together, and for whatever reason, you had decided to fake your deaths. Of the three members who voted to keep the item, that only left Schmitt, and since he obviously wasn't in on it, that little bit of Shakespeare must have been for his benefit"

[@DatboiJonsey]

"SHIT!!"

[@pizzawithcheese1947]

Then I broke all the bones in my body

[@MAC-xl5dn]

And then I was mentally scared, and arrested

[@murphyjack90]

I love how the Laughing Coffin guys just play along with Kirito RPing as a cop for a minute there.

[@cameronjadewallace]

It literally kills me

[@damenpine]

Whenever my friends and I play DBD

[@alex2005z]

It will also serve as explanation for why he kills laughing coffin later on season 2: he doesnt like roleplayers

[@Wat3rCrush]

Its even funnier after you watch war of the underworld and realize the guy spiuting about jesus is PoH

[@LaplaceVI]

Just realised that the Jeffery from Laughing coffin in this episode who quotes the bible is the same Jeffery from the first boss fight that Jesus told to kill everyone.

[@gunzkillr2436]

Obviously. But how will that work PoH in now in WoU? Cause SWE isn't known for inconsistency

[@thefanwithoutaface8105]

@@gunzkillr2436 Eh, they'll just say he decided to change his look or somethig.

[@gunzkillr2436]

@@thefanwithoutaface8105 his avatar? They can't. Because of the Mirror Kayaba gave them in the start. So they look like themselves in SAO

[@thefanwithoutaface8105]

@@gunzkillr2436 I meant AFTER they get out of the game.

[@adamharvey8444]

@@gunzkillr2436bold of you to assume they’ll reach WoU in our lifetime

[@jotheunissen9274]

Asuna: "You're not Batman!" You can't prove that 1. It's a game Kirito could be anyone 2. Kirito and Batman have never been seen at the same time 3. Batman and Kirito dress in full black 4. Kirito's parents are also dead KIRITO IS BATMAN

[@helenahell9022]

He can be...

[@NotAbritishGuy]

Jo Theunissen his mums alive

[@jotheunissen9274]

@@NotAbritishGuy I think you mean his aunt Kirito's biological parents died when he was only a year old and his aunt and uncle (Suguha's parents) took him in

[@NotAbritishGuy]

Jo Theunissen but in the game says he lives with his cousin and mum

[@Renovartio]

@@NotAbritishGuyread the book. It's his aunt.

[@codyjackh8051]

"A land mine deals with pressure better than him." I got to start using that one

[@Draiocht012]

"And would kill fewer people!"

[@timsellers4946]

“Heeey!”

[@vgg31]

@@timsellers4946 "Finally, that left only one possibility: the two of you think Schmitt was the one who killed Griselda, and you planned this whole farce in order to finally scare him into confessing!"

[@fellow5640]

It great

[@sanderscott1317]

I’ve used some of Kirito’s solid gold lines

[@maddie4834]

I just realized that the whole “married players share inventory” was setting up using asuna’s sword in the finale

[@5ebliminal]

Shows you how great the plot and story telling was😂

[@cameronjadewallace]

Better storytelling than Kawahara could have ever thought of

[@reeselawson3686]

@@cameronjadewallace Well to be fair I think that detail was in the original

[@ConnerBunting]

@@reeselawson3686indeed it was

[@flux7061]

I’ve watched the abridged version 5+ times and the main twice and didn’t realize this

[@virginiafernandez6846]

“You will NEVER be Batman.” “That... that cut surprisingly deep.”

[@exumbra1399]

Later: "Let me be the Robin to your Batman!"

[@yoojinjeong3488]

"Holy shit that's in the Bible?" "Have you actually READ the Bible?" This is too funny and too real at the same time

[@kleinuzimacki8873]

Unfortunately the verse is incorrect.... Would've been even funnier if it had been

[@Anonymous-zb7iw]

@@kleinuzimacki8873 i dont have a bible on hand what is the correct verse

[@kleinuzimacki8873]

@@Anonymous-zb7iw I actually haven't been able to find it yet. He said Mark 13: 20 right?

[@stanleynathanael]

@@kleinuzimacki8873 Try the NKJV, BLE, KJB, NHEB, YLT, WEB, WBT, ERV, DBT, DRB,ASV, AKJV, or KJ 2000 versions.

[@kleinuzimacki8873]

@@stanleynathanael TF? What bible do you think I'm reading? The Satanist bible? I asked a simple yes or no question.

[@SlickGoku220]

"Seriously,how many people would you have killed if we asked you?" "That's not important"

[@scarletwyvern3753]

I disagree!

[@Wolf-ij8sl]

Depends what do I get out of it would be my line

[@axeyouaquestion]

I love the land mine comparison to schmit

[@TacoSniper666]

@@Wolf-ij8sl theres the kirito response

[@dr.bright6272]

At least 3

[@roxyspamcake]

I'm pretty late on this, but I like to think Asuna maxed out her cooking so she wouldn't have to take Kirito to Restaraunt ever agin.

[@allisonekgasit9291]

*Laughs* That actually makes perfect sense.

[@Bogglemanify]

She's also a psychopath who pretends to be nice to people. I imagine she learned cooking because she knows that giving people food is a easy way to get people to like you.

[@tailmask4886]

makes sense new headcannon at the very least

[@keode]

I really like this theory. The sandwich she gives him in this episode is reportedly "actually really good" so I feel like it was fairly high already. She definitely could have decided to max after this to avoid restaurant forever, though

[@logeyperogi1805]

Perfect, fucking perfect

[@Motomoto_343]

"Seriously, how many people would you have killed if we asked you to?" "Thaaats not important" "I DISAGREE" Best lines in the episode by far imo

[@Zerobloodify]

I died on the "Kirito is always right Foundation: Grand Re-Opening"

[@Zenkai2718]

We all need to support the kirito is always right foundation

[@beaniepanini]

The Trinity is Always right foundation grand re-opening

[@boombar8721]

Soren_07 OF COURSE HE IS ALWAYS RIGHT

[@xXSoulGeoXx]

Zerobloodify gotta say, I am finding mutual respect from the Abridge version of Kirito and Asuna more than the bland romance of the original XD

[@TheAngelmisa]

+Geo Izumiya well asuna and kirito's romance took time in the light novels the anime Really ruuuuushed it......

[@ifrita5254]

Kains: "Are you kidding me?! A child could figure it out!" Kirito:*stifled laughter* Asuna: "Shutty!"

[@Beanz3236]

How did she bring up her friend list if she can't use the menu

[@Santibag]

@@Beanz3236 of course, she must've learned between episodes.

[@minomax3229]

“Isn’t that right, Jesus?” “That’s right Jeffery, (voice turns demonic) now kill them all” “As you command my lord”

[@vgg31]

"Hey! You two! We just gift-wrapped your friend's killer for you! You maybe want to react here?" "Oh please! How could Grimlock be the killer? HE WAS HELPING US!!!"

[@jotheunissen9274]

@Colin Demarest Go on...

[@aspecttnd]

I love how Yoki’s subtitles say “barely hidden disdain” when she talks about Schmitt, and when Kirito cracks the case he mentions specifically those words 😂

[@gabrielblack4744]

The subtitles in this series give so much that the regular dialogue doesn't, especially when Asuna fights Kuradeel😂

[@lukeyates7283]

Love how the laughing coffin guy just goes along with Kirito's roleplay thing. Doesn't even miss a beat.

[@Hawk_of_Battle]

He's just happy to find a fellow roleplayer.

[@tfordham13]

​@@Hawk_of_Battle I mean the guy is insane

[@cameronjadewallace]

​@@tfordham13 no he's not, Jesus actually told him to kill them all. He's just really devoted to the Lord.

[@skyereave9454]

​@@cameronjadewallaceDude, if you see that in your mind...you are insane.

[@skyereave9454]

​@@cameronjadewallaceDude, thats what makes him insane.

[@moonlight.z6543]

"You killed your wife because she wouldn't get in the kitchen and make you a SANDWICH?" Okay, that sentence and what follows afterwards gets a whole new meaning when you add the fact that Kirito grieved over his sandwich to the mix.

[@kirito_kun5072]

Rip terayaki sandwich you will be miss.

[@malos9680]

Best part is, the canon reason in the actual SAO is just about the same reason

[@neutralball1099]

@@malos9680 I believe in Anisins, he states that he killed her, because she had her own freedom and independence.

[@turtato2155]

That got me good

[@AnonymousApexio]

1000th like

[@arslongavitabreves]

I don't even remember what the original story was about anymore...

[@IgnoreMeImWrong]

Not dying and beating the game. It wasn't a huge plot.

[@dragem5182]

Same

[@canaisyoung3601]

Good, then this show is doing its job.

[@tokugeeky2931]

The original has a plot!?

[@phamduy1906]

lucky for you

[@aspecttnd]

“We’re gonna make sure you get the help you need buddy… Behind this tree :) “ GOLD

[@xx-greatgamer-xx5122]

"My first thought was why would a ghost need a teleport crystal, my second thought was oh shit window" had me laughing instantly

[@FourScore460]

"Huh I own you now, can't wait to tell tiff about this" Lost it

[@thomasallen9974]

There is Asuna racism, and then there is Kirito racism. Guess which one would make Tiffany laugh

[@thedarkspirit5084]

@EE Watcher Weapon* not woman.

[@65firered]

@@thomasallen9974 Tiffany: "Hell, yeah dude! High five!"

[@anirvana]

Oh, it's a race joke. No wonder I never got that.

[@Beanz3236]

Same omg funny

[@abeliniguez9705]

Kirito: "well then, you must think Schmit was skilled enough to have killed grisselda 1 on 1 or perhaps smart enough to catch her unawares?" "oh my god Schmit's not the killer" Schmit: "OH COME ON"

[@toxicdemon1315]

Honestly, I think that's the fastest realization of someone's innocence in the entire history of human civilization.

[@norishimogawa6125]

a "schmidt owned" count. #makeithappen

[@vgg31]

"So then, why the hell were you apologizing to Griselda?" "Hey, people threaten to kill me for giving Pokemon: V&R a 7 out of 10! At this point, I learned to just assume the position."

[@grandmasterpo4067]

"I entangled him in our web of lies" "WHHHHHYYYYY!!!???" LMFAO this show never ceases to crack me up

[@rapha2028]

Think about it. Kirito did some “digging around” in the game to find the glitch. By himself. Without any outside help. He found out and replicated the conditions for it to work, he noticed patterns in the 2 fake deaths and reinforce the patterns by replicating the death in the safe zone with slightly different conditions (i.e. not in freefall during the glitch, etc.) to *confirm* that it’s exactly how its done.

[@chrisdefresne3235]

Or he searched the ingame chats for people who knew the bugs.

[@rapha2028]

@@chrisdefresne3235 i would expect the game to have only voice chat because of the horrible game design of kayaba

[@marley7868]

@@chrisdefresne3235 or asked someone who catalgues those for cash

[@vergiloftheastralclocktowe9781]

this brings up a question what would happen if you get everyone to try to force the game to log them out by actively trying to crash the game

[@derblitzspieler9577]

The Let's Game it out method

[@jacobdavis5722]

"I entangled him in our web of lies..." "WHYYYYYYY?!" Couldn't stop laughing.

[@TheBlackDemon1996]

Yeah, why did she do that?

[@jacobdavis5722]

@@TheBlackDemon1996 Honestly I don't know. Never made sense to me in the original either.

[@toxicdemon1315]

@@jacobdavis5722 I think originally it was to throw them off of the case. Unfortunately, she forgot Kirito is smarter here than he was in the original since that bs excuse of a ghost haunting the game and killing random players wouldn't have worked on a competent person playing the game. But that's just my opinion.

[@MustacheDLuffy]

I think in the original it was implied that they wanted Kirito to help them out since he’s such a nice guy or something

[@SydCar]

TheBlackDemon1996 In the original, I believe Schmitt cut off contact with the old guild and used the money from the item to get gear good enough for the frontlines. Yolko and Kains didn’t want to risk going to the frontlines and used Kirito and Asuna (two very famous frontliners who are also friendly and not arrogant douches like the majority of the frontline players) to get Schmitt to come meet them on the lower floors.

[@MadDadLad]

My first thought was "Why would a ghost need a teleport crystal?" My second thought was "Oh shit. Window". SHIT!

[@joshuasmith5288]

glad you liked it............

[@Ninjagowolf]

Joshua Smith thats my fav part XD

[@MadDadLad]

***** swiftly followed by "Oh shit RKO OUTTA NOWHERE!!!".............sorry ('-_-)/.

[@matthewthomas2580]

Koko-Sensei!!!

[@nerdinout9820]

Matthew Thomas *Koro-Sensei.

[@Spitestar]

The fact that there is no five second rule in Aincrad is complete bs. The sandwich was innocent! INNOCENT!

[@DHGTYRGODOFWAR]

Bethesda rushed the game so Magner King of the Mole People didn't get to implement it ... yet.

[@Ritvik123]

"A frigging landmine deals with pressure better than him, and would kill fewer people!" I love this line so much. Like ik there will be no chance for me to use this in any scenario in my life but I would love to use this line is a conversation atleast once.

[@AlyxVance1996]

A true life goal

[@therodrigosaurio1093]

Asuna: You will NEVER be Batman Kirito: HEY! FUCK YOU! That hurts...

[@vgg31]

DinosaurioQueJuega "that cut...surprisingly deep. Well played"

[@dylananderson310]

DinosaurioQueJuega bro... u stole my comment quote

[@diegosilva3927]

@@dylananderson310 How did a comment from 9 months ago stole a generic quote from you?

[@dylananderson310]

Diego Silva ur right, it’s almost like I was kidding

[@bichimadorable9697]

How can he be batman Im batman

[@didsain]

I freaking love what they did with laughing coffin.

[@mrdeath7426]

Tri-Hard Gaming kirito YOUR NOT BATMAN

[@didsain]

But...Harvey Dent. Can we trust him? *Vanishes*

[@mrdeath7426]

Tri-Hard Gaming WHY SO SERIOUS

[@unddozahaz]

If they get to SAOII, it's going to be AWESOME.

[@arcpopalot5884]

Christopher Rosa For now

[@Farenhyte-]

I actually think the ass' jawbone verse goes pretty hard

[@skyereave9454]

The context is a little off though. There are a bunch about sacrificial animals and terrible calamities that fit better.

[@getthegoons]

It does.

[@astralmarmaux]

It's the deliveries

[@Rusty_Shank]

What specific version is it from?

[@multifanhq8899]

I just realized, after literal years, a song from Ace Attorney plays in the background when Kirito is explaining why Grimlock killed his wife. Fucking fantastic.

[@therac197]

also while talking to Coffin

[@crayon3911]

Kirito saved 3 guys by company negotiations with laughing coffin and Kirito is always right foundation.

[@swogger5200]

Who art thou so wise in the ways of business

[@crayon3911]

@@swogger5200 me.

[@critman88]

Lp0l)aaaaaaaaaaa@aaaa@@all0lll o

[@uc4490]

Which lead him to unintentionally kill the due who was way into role-playing in episode 9

[@marcjehle2480]

@@uc4490 when kirito met him, it turned into intentionally

[@jacobwells9207]

Would everyone please share a moment of silence for Kirito's sandwich.

[@TheToadmaster24]

... (Never Forget)

[@jcgarza98isgamerman]

Liek if you crie evritiem.

[@jacobwells9207]

***** There, there

[@vashthestampede9974]

Jacob Wells it was so wonderful :'(

[@jacobwells9207]

Kirigaya Kazuto I'll leave you to grieve

[@amiablereaper]

Love the juxtaposition of asuna giving Kirito a sandwich freely vs. the murderer expecting one

[@YoBoiHrcky]

"Detective Kirito Aincrad PD, I'm on the hunt for a serial killer and these 3 are the only witnesses. I'm gonna need you gentlemen to put down your weapons." Dude I fucking love Kirito goofing around like that

[@concordegaming5037]

And then they go off and play along with it

[@Menhtrol]

soooo that is Asuna's plan, she will marry Kirito so they share there invintory, then she will have him killed so she can have the coat Edit: I must admit that i never thought i would get this many likes 2nd Edit: A lot of people seem to leave comments about how she would be unable to do that since she doesn't know how to use the menu and that is true but she does Lean to use it later on fx when she cooks for Kirito

[@tristormed]

+Menhtrol My God. It all makes sense now.

[@Renji9031]

+Menhtrol I thought she just wanted the ones.

[@63Spacebird]

+Android 16 She was willing to settle for the ones.

[@Menhtrol]

+63Spacebird after the way he was to her i just dont think she will let it go with the ones :p

[@Renji9031]

Menhtrol Well at least she can have the zeroes and the ones now. Kirito has a much much cooler coat.

[@ahuman3393]

“Christ Yolko, how big is this web? You’re catching school buses in this thing”

[@immortalsuislide5511]

Magic school bus reference ftw

[@PimguOPM]

so she IS a orphan blood person

[@vgg31]

"Hey! It's a good thing she did. If she hadn't forgotten to delete me from her friends list, we never would have known where to find you!" "You forgot to delete your friends list? We've been planning this...FOR SIX MONTHS... And you forgot to delete your FRIENDS LIST?!!!!"

[@DaDoodler25]

@@vgg31 I'M SORRY, I KEPT HAVING TROUBLE WITH THE MENU! ARE YOU KIDDING ME, A CHILD COULD FIGURE IT OUT! *Chuckles* Hey, shutty.

[@cc-corruptor4492]

Yoko: *Fucking dies* Kirito: Now I’m no doctor but I don’t like her chances.

[@strelitziamystery21]

16:59 Asuna and Kirito act exactly how any normal person would in that situation.

[@et3inuyasha]

Anyone who thinks the murderer had a dumb motive for comic relief: The original motive was even dumber: She started having opinions of her own. Edit: Holy Buckets, 3k likes!?

[@spindash64]

Gregory Stephens That sounds like it’s basically the same thing. Although at least this time he had a snippy one liner at the end of his story

[@TopTierTrashman]

So that's the actual reason. Cheers mate, I forgot

[@idonhaveanyideawhattocallm1472]

@@JazzStation95 oh so you like them crucified

[@thunderthunderstorms8828]

So he is America in the 18’s or was it the 19’s

[@viscountrainbows6452]

@@thunderthunderstorms8828 America right now if you anger the Hive

[@boltcry9349]

"Because contract killing is a beat we can all dance to." Hire Laughing Coffin today!

[@drdino2002]

Enter coffin dance meme

[@Typhoon1515]

That could be a great slogan not gonna lie

[@fukkthisnewupdate8882]

@@Typhoon1515 a Hitman who only kills other Contract Killers

[@cheshire1]

Get your faces out there!

[@KeizerSosebee]

"Have you considered....Murder."

[@OG_Kurosaki]

"people spend their entire life looking for this and you just threw it away" that's the deepest thing I have ever heard from an abridged anime parody

[@light1haven]

This is more Canon in my head than actual SAO

[@YAHWEH-SAVES777]

Ohh for sure

[@AlyxVance1996]

Can't blame you

[@MURPHYCHACHO]

"Wow! Okay, um, let me see if I got this. Ya killed your wife because she wouldn't get in the kitchen and make you a sandwich?!" Sadly, the reasons he gave in the actual show were just about as pathetic.

[@AMZT14]

that line had me crying

[@KaosFireMaker]

That said the show was aware that the reasons were pathetic, and every one did consider grimlock to be the utter grease stain of a worm he is.

[@MURPHYCHACHO]

KaosFireMaker Oh, I know, but I'm still glad the abridged series went even further on calling him out on his bullshit. :)

[@ezrawyvern6795]

+MURPHYCHACHO +KaosFireMakerAt least they killed the SOB.

[@gstyles4567]

Sadly some people actually think like that.

[@koalagirl5882]

"Oh my god, Shmitts not the killer" "OH COME ON" *DEAD*

[@starvoltnexus3139]

Yeah I’m not they’re as smarter or smarter than Schmidt as they like to think

[@rodneysnow1937]

@@starvoltnexus3139 uh what

[@_nyantah_7492]

_Not as dead as Griselda_

[@flappy7373]

@@_nyantah_7492 BADUM-TISSSS

[@norishimogawa6125]

there should totally be a "Schmidt owned" count

[@aspecttnd]

I love how these characters are actually really true to their own dialogue in the show. Kirito loved the sandwich, and loved it here. Infinitely funnier here though, this is incredible

[@Shannessa]

One thing that always confused me about SAO original Yolko: they weren’t married irl Grimlock 1 episode later: we were married irl Me: wtf

[@justsomerandomdudeontheint99]

Although I haven't watched SAO in years, I would guess that Yoko didn't know they were married in real life. Many players don't reveal too much real-world information even though they're stuck in there for years, Kirito's real name isn't even Kirito. The SAO version of marriage also can't really be as much of a commitment as real marriage, so being married in game doesn't necessarily mean they're married in real life. I imagine that it was used to guide Asuna and Kirito into discussing marriage makes the couple's inventory shared, which is important to solving the mystery later on. It's clumsily done but it makes sense when you consider these factors.

[@4lackofbetter]

Yeah KAZUTO never tells Asuna his real name even when they were married. He waited until the game was cleared. Who does that?

[@wyster14]

@@4lackofbetterI mean tbh there’s ppl I’ve known online for almost seven years and they still don’t know my name

[@Johnny-tm1vn]

Best line in the episode Kirito: Why I figured it out hours ago. Asuna: You did what? Stomps on the ground. Kirito's sandwich falls and the floor and vanishes. Kirito: My sandwich, it was innocent. Asuna: Kirito.. Kirito: Shush I must grieve

[@Johnny-tm1vn]

Sorry in two lines I messed up but still funny

[@kindgameing4745]

No I thought when he was explaining how the ghost was not real and the window was the most hilarious part

[@Johnny-tm1vn]

For me it was the sandwich

[@ryancook6452]

Jonathan Garcia Do you temember the username, johbny black?

[@Johnny-tm1vn]

No I do not

[@squeeb899]

Asuna: Kirito? Kirito: SHHH! I MUST GRIEVE. I JUST DIED...

[@ninjaguy8519]

A Cob Of Corn "it was innocent" XD

[@direhunter7045]

And that people is what I do when somebody kills my food Not just me right? Right? Come on people only me!?

[@fyrentenimar]

You were the sandwich?

[@fahadkhan5721]

In memory of Kirito's sandwich

[@merrittanimation7721]

Let us take a moment of silence for Kirito's sandwich

[@ghastlyghandi4301]

Sao abridged is a gold mine of unique roasts to prove your superiority to everyone around you

[@Skallva]

Better than the investigation episodes in the original show

[@Skallva]

Gmaniac01 This meme... Let it die. It's already outdated and it has always been stupid and disrespectful to the source matherial.

[@Skallva]

But not cheerful in a dumb way of shouting how much he's feeling whatever he's doing or saying these two words in every third of his sentence. That's basically how Smash players portray him. And that's why I hate this meme.

[@Skallva]

Yeah, I guess Anyway, going back ontopic, I can safely say this series is also better than the original. Episodes actually have some good pacing, instead of being shoehorned in and characters are done MUCH better.

[@Skallva]

And the characters have an actual development, not to mention even with their low screen time, they don't feel as unimportant as in the original.

[@Skallva]

np. It's nothing, really.

[@HighSlayerRalton]

Wait, is Jeff the guy who was told by "Jesus" to kill everyone in Episode 02? I just got that!

[@__mindflayer__]

HighSlayer Ralton yep

[@nicholaspeterman9111]

HighSlayer Ralton Wait, and isn't Grimlock the one who was interested in the final solution when they were discussing the guide book made by the beta testers?

[@LautinMaki]

Nicholas Peterman no I don't think so

[@LautinMaki]

But I have no idea maybe it is Jesus him self

[@imbadatusernames6295]

Oh my god

[@ATFprdepartment]

“Meat Toboggan. 😳” Best line ever.

[@HiddelS143]

The sounds of grimlock being killed in the background while Asuna and Kirito casually talk will always be my favorite part of this series.

[@Avatarbee]

"Because Contract killing ,is a beat we can all dance too. " How do you even come up with this brilliance?

[@jacencade4019]

drugs

[@LSSTyranus]

Also Dark Brotherhood in elderscrolls...

[@flappy7373]

you.. you monster..

[@Alpha-106]

GI I KIRITO

[@jackgebhardt2932]

I don't get it.

[@clayxros576]

The fact they both legit freaked out at the very real ghost killed me. Also, bonus points for actually making sense of the death and teleport animations actually making sense.

[@SomsoKca]

Asuna did not freak out at the ghost, Kirito was the one freak out.

[@animeisdead]

@@SomsoKca did you not hear her screaming with Kirito

[@SomsoKca]

@Nick She screaming because of Kirito thrown a sword at the ghost not because of she was freak out by the ghost.

[@fernan90000]

@@SomsoKca Nope lol, she freaked out cause of the ghost, look it back again with subtitles if you wanna so you understand it better

[@jacencade4019]

come on theres better ways to troll

[@JABRIEL251]

It's hilarious how Laughing Coffin mattered so little.

[@spiderslayer3640]

4:44 I can’t believe that Johnny Black (Death Gun) & Jeffery (Vassago/PoH in Alicization) were literally part of the anime from the very beginning!

[@DakotaSagePika]

Technically, XaXA was the real Death Gun while Johnny was one of the two people killing in the real world.

[@Reader314159]

"So I own you guys now! Can't wait to tell Tiff about this" I CHOKED ON MY DRINK

[@TheTrueWolfboy]

Zack Abrams Until I read the comment, I didn't think about the fact that he mentioned Tiff of all people...

[@envy2682]

Zack Abrams OHHHHHHHHH

[@jury5165]

Whose tiff?

[@RoloNola]

Tiffany, huh? That's a... pretty masculine name...

[@deadspooner]

Roland Cor Shouldn't be, its a woman's name.

[@somerandomdude5461]

You know what I just noticed something. The serial killer that uses Bible verses is the same guy from ep.2 of abridged series!!! Remember the guy who saw Jesus!?!? It’s sad that I just noticed this throughout the many times I’ve watched this throughout the years.

[@Jaymon1203213]

That's what makes it great. It's like listening to a great album. You discover something new every single time.

[@PauloDDD2]

NO WAY!

[@kingskelett6265]

Is it possible that Grimlock was the guy at episode two who asked about the final solution? I think they sound rather familiar.

[@Jaymon1203213]

@@kingskelett6265 Holy shit, you might be on to something here. Dear god, how good is this writing?

[@tallonhunter3663]

Now, ask yourself this: Is Jeffery actually insane (IRL) or did he find something that inflicted an insanity debuff ... and was the victim of a extremely rare cooldown bug that resulted in it being permanent. Was he seeing Jesus his mind, or was it the game... [Edit] Because "Jesus' " lines sound like they were written by the same guy as the narrator... not in a meta way.

[@marcelgardner8497]

Jeffrey as the Jesus freak leader of black coffin is great reference to the second episode......well done

[@mindsandmirrors5106]

*Laughing Coffin

[@Pufftarot]

I love how the guy who was ordered by Jesus to 'kill them all' from episode 2 starts Laughing Coffin

[@goldvvolfcashcommunity4444]

"With an asses jawbone, I have killed a thousand men" was actually pretty raw tho. That line has to be used in a game one day.

[@ceve]

Azula

[@footlong7980]

I was at this point in the video when I saw this comment.

[@themaskedgriffin6384]

i specifically scrolled the comment section just to find someone talking about this dialogue

[@joehadari7315]

I mean he got the first half of the verse wrong but it is an intimidating line.

[@Great_Olaf5]

Agreed, and "No flesh shall be spared," is just so pedestrian, he references Bible quoting serial killers, and practically all of them use that one at some point.

[@IISheireenII]

how is it possible this has a better story than the original anime?

[@dongtruong4109]

Go watch teamfourstar, you'll be suprised

[@aguy7371]

IISheireenII Because the original is crap.

[@IISheireenII]

yes! but HOW does he make crap into art!?

[@aguy7371]

IISheireenII Because good comedy.

[@Zadamanim]

Because good writing is all the original needed.

[@Seeker03]

I watched this chapter a thousand times and I can't believe I never realized they were using the Phoenix Wright soundtrack.

[@absaar9120]

"you guys were the best slaves anyone could ask for" amen brother

[@silverblade357]

"I entangled him in our web of lies." *"WHY?!!!!"*

[@alarioderpp_control000aa9]

cus they can

[@daveshoe4574]

Finally someone points out why tingling random strangers into a conspiracy is a terrible idea and Unnecessarily stupid

[@therealwilldalbey]

They would have investigated regardless. And if she wasn't cooperative, it would have been suspicious.

[@daanstrik4293]

The delivery on that line was so good

[@jacksmith7799]

I love that they actually point out the flaws and plot holes in SAO in this too. Its just perfect parody.

[@scottmacgregor3444]

"We're going to make sure you get the help you need buddy. Behind this tree." OK that one got a full throated laugh out of me. Good stuff.

[@Twisted_Code]

-yeah that was my favorite from this episode

[@nucleargandhi2709]

* Yolko, Kains, and Schmitt and Grimlock get louder *

[@edenjung9816]

They wanted to make deliverance 2: Return to netherland.

[@victoriardsethbe8974]

Love how Abridge’s Schmitt’s voice actor is the voice actor of Johnny Black in the actual sword art online

[@thecherry6849]

Man Asuna really came far I would love to have entire series based on how she learned to open her menu

[@KaimArgonarEyyyy]

"Oh shit, window" gets me fucking every time. I love this series to death.

[@jillianysortiz5889]

BallsDeep 69 you really do like it lmao 😂😂😂 considering your name and profile picture

[@PeterPressley]

lmao thats the most realistic response to Griselda’s ghost appearing.

[@toxicdemon1315]

I dunno. i think my response to seeing a ghost would be "Holy shit, there really is an afterlife."

[@reddragoner1932]

could also be a glitch though for not deleting the character data accurately

[@connordervoncyberlifegesen8529]

Garrett Engell but they did imply that SAO was broken and rushed.

[@Treviisolion]

The bigger question is why they assume it’s a ghost. Those two have never seen Griselda, nor were they shown a picture, so a person showing up that stealthily would be alarming, but I don’t know why you’d assume ghost.

[@connordervoncyberlifegesen8529]

Trevyn Case maybe it’s because of the fact that SHES STANDING ON TOP OF THE GRAVE!

[@AgentQV]

Seriously, the asses jawbone line combined with that performance is rad as hell. Why can't more people talk like that?

[@checkmoth6402]

8:15 I actualy like this explanation more than the original

[@Sabis2365]

"I'm sorry! I kept having trouble with the menu!" "Are you kidding me? A child could figure it out!" (Kirito trying to hold back laughter) "Shutty!"

[@vgg31]

"Hey, you two! We just gift wrapped your friend's killer for you! You maybe want to react here!!" "Oh please! How could Grimlock be the killer?! He was helping us!!" "Yeah! I mean, why would a killer EVER want to force someone else to confess to his crime??" *sighs* "Go on..." "For you see!" "Goddammit" "Schmitt would have had nothing to gain from Griselda's death. If he had killed her, The item would've just been destroyed along with her avatar" "Really, that's your proof?? Bandits extort people out of items ALL THE TIME!!"

[@mason3872]

How do I EAT

[@myneneedssomequalitytimein8908]

@@vgg31 so you must think Schmidt was smart or skilled

[@vgg31]

@@myneneedssomequalitytimein8908 "enough to kill Griselda one-on-one, or perhaps smart enough to catch her unawares?" "OH MY GOD, Schmitt's not the killer" *AW, COME ON!*

[@myneneedssomequalitytimein8908]

@@vgg31 I frigin' land mine handles pressure better, and would kill fewer people

[@arcu965]

"I fricken landmine deals with pressure better than him, and would kill fewer people." Dead.

[@thiendo6237]

Just like grimloc

[@vgg31]

Arcu "Finally, that left only one possibility: The two of you think Schmitt was the one who killed Griselda, and you planned this whole farce in order to finally scare him into confessing"

[@chickenmaskproductions6179]

It’s not “I” it’s “a”

[@yetiornot5726]

"WHAT? No, bullshit! I had to go to a dark place to pull out that masterpiece! It was full of emotions that scare and confuse me." I lived longer than you, but this was the one that killed me.

[@Wulf-cub]

Arcu From which one, the landmine deals, or Schmitt? (Not sure I spelled that right)

[@washmahashmi5321]

*My second thought was "oh shit, window"* I'm dying 😂

[@lazulenoc6863]

I think Grimlock was the one who wanted to hear about the 'final solution' before the Kobold guy.

[@PichuBro8]

MY SANDWICH It was innocent...

[@petra4754]

+Gabe Thompson * grieve

[@VileVeilt]

Petra didn't even notice the secret thoughts into the characters when they when they don't say anything

[@gabriellaramirez8120]

It was so hard to hold in my laughter at that part

[@lgmmrm]

CC: In Memory of Kirito's sandwich

[@EmilioReyes_97]

It died for his sins

[@magiv4205]

"Kirito, are you gonna-?" "Shh. I must grieve." Kirito's voiceacting. MY SIDES.

[@ktpartridge8084]

Ok I have been searching the comments on this rewatch and no one has mentioned the genius of making the kinda odd way they originally faked the death ( as that would take an almost ridiculous amount of timing to not just end up in your underwear with a sword through you) and making it actually fit to their new narrative in a way less complicated way and it also shortened the explanation by a lot and for me made the plan make a lot more sense by setting the conditions to free falling from needing extremely perfect timing on that teleport (which the animation still should have played in the original btw) anyways thank you for coming to my Ted ta-

[@alakazamlover4908]

so....what was their plan in the original? now im curious

[@ktpartridge8084]

@@alakazamlover4908 the plan was that they would fake their deaths by letting the sword/knife drain their armours durability and since in the sandwich scene Kirito noticed that the items breaking was the same effect as a player death he found out the plan, so they would teleport the second their armour would break to make it look like they died

[@alakazamlover4908]

@@ktpartridge8084 yea the "floor 55 has glitch that changes the teleport animation for the death one" makes a bit more sense then that....i forget a lot of the cannon-stuff about original SAO its been so long

[@TheOneWhoAsked123]

The fact they suspected the dumbest person in their group as the killer has got to be the worst argument I've ever heard

[@numbers93]

I love how many of the characters in the 2nd ep ended up having big roles. Mr Fluffles the Don, Tiffany the Appraiser, the Laughing Coffin dude, The Final Solution Mr Schmidtt, and of course Asuna the best player who couldn't even open a menu.

[@alphaquasar3089]

What part is The Final Solution Mr Schmidtt at in this ep?

[@numbers93]

The guy who killed his perfect wife

[@billtenth5805]

+Danjoseph Quijada Holy hell, I never even realized it was him until now.

[@AlanHaskayne]

Don't miss General Corvatz's strategy being yelled out by one person in the first meeting.

[@numbers93]

"And hit it till it dies!" XD

[@madeleinerose2089]

OH MY GOD ITS JEFF FROM EARLIER!! The one who Jesus told to kill them all!! YAH!

[@bladewolfvii6383]

took ya long enough, i thought you'll never notice

[@quitesalty786]

Madeleine Rose Wait what part is that?

[@bladewolfvii6383]

Taylor Ponder Episode 2

[@sirzorg5728]

lol just figured this out my 4th time watching these

[@Roost-xr3lc]

Madeleine Rose thats what I thought.

[@takashi-lee3943]

I love how this really points out how it makes no sense for the purple-haired girl to get anyone else involved

[@pepper5158]

Am I the only one who absolutely loves how Laughing Coffin just goes along with Kirito's "Detective" line?

[@stevechase2232]

"Yeah. I mean, why would a killer *ever* want to force someone else to confess to his crime*?" *Sigh* "Go on." *FOR YOU SEE* "Goddamnit"

[@kixixa5203]

FOR YOU SEE! the great blacksmith lucifer had smithed this rock himself. . .