What is Positive Discipline? No Punishment Techniques For Better Behaviour | SJ STRUM

Hi I'm SJ * Subscribe For New Videos Every Week *
I'm a big fan of gentle parenting; it really suits me and the kids. This video is about Positive Discipline Techniques that work for us. Gentle Parenting is all about No Punishment and No Rewards so you get natural cooperation from your children and ultimately better behaviour. Wouldn't that be amazing - ha ha! I'm not an expert at it I just really like the theory and have adapted some discipline ideas that work for the behaviour issues I have with my three kids. I hope you find this interesting and I'd love to hear from you in the messages; SJ xx
WHAT IS GENTLE PARENTING VLOG: • What Is Gentle Parenti...
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[@bethany30]

Love this idea, I’m not a parent yet but I am a psychology student and it’s such a basic principle that positive reinforcement is so much more effective for changing or encouraging a behaviour than punishment. Also loved the idea of letting them choose their own consequence if they do need one

[@SJ_Strum]

Bethany Oram ah wow what an amazing study: really good to hear from you about this as we’re all people even the little ones! X

[@lindsay_may]

Yess!! We also learned about this for teaching (I studied education at university and we had educational psychology components)! Encouraging the development of intrinsic motivation is much more effective than using external rewards and punishments! :)

[@shelbyw22]

Lindsay A I’m currently student teaching and I find this technique so effective!! When a child does something bad, I always see the lead teacher redirect it in a positive manner. For example, a child is making a mess of the paint all over their hands. She would say something like “I see you are interested in painting with your hands! Today we are only using paintbrushes but maybe tomorrow we can do finger painting.” This shows that the adult recognizes the motives behind the child’s actions and offers a solution instead of forcing the child to think of a solution himself (which often never works out if they’re extremely young).

[@clockworkprince]

I'm only 16 (so way off having any children of my own!) but I use some of the tips and tricks you discuss on your channel with my little brother, who is 7, and my little cousins, who are 4, 5, and 8. I tend to watch my cousins 6/7 days a week, and mind my brother the entire time I'm not in college, so it's really useful hearing the tips, even though I'm not a dad yet, and they've helped me get a hold of their behaviour and help me with 'parenting' them! Thanks SJ!! xx

[@SJ_Strum]

Charlie Foster wow you are the world’s best sibling!! Thanks so much for watching and I’m so happy it’s interesting xxx

[@eitak6452]

You have a lot on your plate Charlie, i hope someone looks out for you too

[@miajade6212]

This is exactly how we ‘discipline’ the children in the special needs school I work in. Since working there I’ve been bringing some of the ideas home for my 4 year old brother and 2 year old sister, and they’re working so much better than shouting and ordering about!

[@SJ_Strum]

Ah wow how interesting! So true though; I notice I'm gentler with the younger ones than Freddie sometimes and it's probably even more important the less 'vulnerable' you are that people show you extra kindness and positivity. xxxx

[@HomemakingMaven]

“House points”!! What a fantastic idea! I love that it encourages family togetherness and helping each other. ❤️

[@thatonemom1415]

So needed this, my daughter has been really testing boundaries and I’ve been unraveling. My parents were very big on corporal punishment so I’m trying to avoid passing that on. 😪

[@vickipiper885]

I’m not a parent but I have saved this video for future use!! This style of parenting sounds to me like it will create a more positive relationship between parent and child. Which I’m sure is all any parent wants. Xx

[@SJ_Strum]

Vicki Piper I think it really does; it’s very hard to do all the time as we’re all just people living under the same roof and have our bad days!!! But it definitely makes my days so much calmer with the kids x

[@vickipiper885]

Well good for you 🙂 and I’m really glad that you shared this with us xx

[@sarahwaimea]

Wow I have watched so many videos about gentle parenting and read so many books and articles and after a while you just know all the techniques which repeats themselves, your point and family point technique is so heart warming! You’re whole video was of amazing support ❤️🙏🏼 thank you

[@samanthaknapp631]

love this! Your videos have been such lovely insight for me. Looove this idea of them choosing their consequences, which leads to learning to naturally make amends! How many adults have I come across in relationship where they don't have any ideas about how to offer an apology, or an action that displays the act of "I'm sorry". Such a valuable tool for all. I also love that you always include *it doesn't always go this way!* We're human. and I know so many mummas have so much guilt. So thanks for being lovely and honest!

[@carlyeliza5222]

Can I just say I really admire you as a mom ❤️ I just watched your other gentle parenting video last night and I’m learning so much from you. Thank you for putting these out there!

[@SJ_Strum]

Ah thanks so so much Carly; I'm not the expert but I do love reading up on it all and putting it into practise at home. xxx

[@ejmmama]

You just want them to bloody put their shoes on 🤣 Love ALL these tips, think I will try them all. Need to get my notebook out and write them down! Thank you so much! Have to say that therapy really helped me with not losing my temper - so much of it had to do with my own baggage and desire for control. Best thing I feel I can do for my kids is stay centred, know my own worth so that I can give them unconditional love, take care of myself etc etc. Think it makes gentle parenting a lot more acheivable...

[@amylouise6387]

You seem like such a lovely mum, SJ, thank you for this video :) I'm currently reading How to Talk so Little Kids Will Listen, and it really is amazing with practical ideas!

[@SJ_Strum]

ISn't it good! Oooh I don't think I've got the little kids one; going to get that. I loved the first one. I loved in the first one they said read a chapter then practise that for a while then read the next one; so you don't get overwhelmed or try so many things at once! x

[@lisamaplewood8489]

love these videos on gentle parenting, so please make more :)♥️

[@SJ_Strum]

Lisa Parks I’m so happy you like them; I love making them xx

[@kayleywalkden2518]

Brilliant tips! I am a teacher who uses similar strategies with the children in my class and it really works. I wish more parents had knowledge of this approach to support their children.

[@rachaelwilson9935]

Great video SJ, I discovered attachment/gentle parenting when my oldest was a baby ( six years ago eek!) and haven't looked back. Wonderful to see someone use their influence to spread peace and happiness to other families. Rachael 💖

[@SJ_Strum]

Ah thanks Rachael; it's such a lovely thing to have in your back pocket. I feel like this really wasn't the 'trend' back then but now I hear about it a lot more and think it's so good parenting is going this way xx

[@rissaraable]

Whoa Sarah!!!!! Mind.....blown.....honestly I can't wait to try these out. Why are these techniques not the norm? You're the best 😘

[@SJ_Strum]

Ah thank you! I love reading up on this type of positive discipline xxx

[@emmashane4202]

This is such a great video. One of the goals I set myself at the beginning of this year was to become a more gentle, calm parent. In the past I have allowed myself to blow things out of proportion and create so many consequences of insignificant things. One thing I’ve been doing to keep calm when my girls play up is asking myself why they are behaving in that way. And the answer is usually because they’re tired (well I get ratty when I’m tired so I shouldn’t be cross with them for that!). Really enjoyed this video xx

[@SJ_Strum]

So true; it's just being mindful of it that helps right away. xx

[@LaraJoannaJarvis]

I can confirm you are a wonderfully calm and positive mummy IRL too!!! You always inspire me to be a more patient mum!! I'm going to do the points thing for listening from today, it's the thing we struggle with the most but I honestly do think they're just in their own world most of the time! And the shoes, shoes, shoes from now on...again in their own world at that point!! Really enjoyed this my love xxxx

[@SJ_Strum]

Freddie is totally in his own world!! He does hear me though and is motivated when I say 'who wants a listening point?' - ha ha! This morning he was randomly drawing pyramids when he was supposed to be getting his coat on and then looking around for something he wanted to take to school!!! It's frustrating but I felt calmer just saying 'coat' 'coat'It's the best tip I've read! xxx

[@LaraJoannaJarvis]

So Henry gained his first 2 points tonight and tidied his toys beautifully before bed...then he asked what the points go towards!! Had to think on my feet!! He loved the idea of being rewarded. COAT, SHOES!! That will be me in the morning! xx

[@SJ_Strum]

Wow good for Henry!! It's so good if they're motivated by the points isn't it! xxxx@@LaraJoannaJarvis

[@tashalayzell]

This is so helpful. I strive to be a calmer, more gentle parent and with a 10 and 4 year old (who are both very different characters!) I find it tricky to be consistent in parenting them both. I'm hopeful that some of these tips might just work. Thanks SJ.

[@SJ_Strum]

Oh yes it's so hard to be consistent and sometimes I feel like my eldest gets less 'praise' as he's pretty compliant and I expect more of him. That's tough for him as my youngest gets loads of praise just for eating dinner and things as I'm trying to teach her!! We can't get it perfect but the tips and points work really well for bringing them together x

[@madelineromanov2745]

Love this!

[@hollyleilabyles7516]

SJ this was an absolutely fantastic video. On all honesty I saw the title and thought ‘well that’s impossible and kids need to learn boundaries so it sounds too wishy-washy for me!’ But I really love your content so watched it anyway 🥰 and I have just sent it on to my husband. I have a 3 and a bit year old and a just turned 2 year old and every single point here would help us and I can imagine using now or as they grow a little more. Brilliant - thank-you ☺️ xxx

[@SJ_Strum]

Ah I'm so glad - thanks Holly!!! Yes I love gentle parenting but some of it is very 'gentle' ha ha - and I do agree it needs to be practical. Honestly since I've done these techniques I literally never need to punish them - it does really work so well. It's just practise and keeping consistent and finding something that works for you. xxxx

[@arcticangel4981]

Love these videos! It’s so nice to get some new ideas, I’m definitely going to try number 4. Thank you! Xx

[@SJ_Strum]

Ah that's amazing thanks so much xx

[@chloggs1173]

Ahh love the shoes thing! Makes so much more sense I bet it’s far more effective. I’m due my first next month so a way to go... but I’ll be remembering this one x

[@SJ_Strum]

Chaz Goss ah how exciting! Yes it’s so good to have a plan; I used to read all the older kids tricks as it’s so good to know the kind of things you want to do xxx

[@hannah_michalak]

I love this sj, such a lovely message. I find your videos so relaxing too! Love the photos too! X

[@SJ_Strum]

Hannah Maggs ah thanks Hannah! I got a request for an asmr channel so I need to get started!! Ha ha! Xxx

[@MrsHible]

Really enjoyed this video. Some great ideas I will definitely be trying the house points xx

[@melissaw5657]

Love love love 💕 thanks for sharing and off to buy that listening book now!!!

[@SJ_Strum]

Melissa W ah I’m so glad Melissa; the book is great x

[@Kate-hg6mg]

Oh my word I needed this so much I actually feel quite emotional lol. I'm literally at my wits end at the moment... I don't think the points thing will work for them but someone suggested getting a jar and filling it with buttons or beads everything they do something you're happy about (listening etc) and I think that will help them with a visual at this age. And it's their collective jar not individual because they're a team. The fighting and screaming is massively getting to me

[@SJ_Strum]

Yes I've heard that too and it really works for some children; it must be so tough with the twins. Keep your head up; you're the best mum and this will pass. I'll do some toddler tips next week too xxxxxxxxx

[@HealthwithHayley]

I love this video!! I would also love a series of gentle parenting video, I have a 2 year old ( she turned 2 on Monday ) she is a very sassy and Independent toddle. I’m new to your channel and loving it 🥰 xxxx

[@SJ_Strum]

Hayley-louise Scanlon ah hi Hayley-Louise! I did a gentle parenting video linked here and will do a toddler cooperation one: Evelina just turned two and she’s definitely a chilled person but I hope she picks up on the vibe of the house too and it helps x

[@laurengranell6263]

Will defo be trying some of these SJ. Thanks for sharing xx

[@SJ_Strum]

Ah thanks Lauren xx

[@gabrielleconnelly3324]

I’m beyond excited to try the shoes trick

[@alilawrence4689]

Hi SJ, love your videos about this subject and I’ve just brought the gentle parenting book based on your videos, my little one (Freddie) is 2!on Saturday and we are definitely experiencing toddler tantrums and some more challenging behaviour which I have no ideal how to deal with, I hate being a shouty mum so I’m really loving these alternatives. Would love you do do a video based on how to to implement this with the younger children that’s don’t understand points and consequences etc..... it’s such a mind field knowing how to handle the toddler tantrums! X

[@SJ_Strum]

Yes it's so hard isn't it! I'll do a video on Evelina and gentle parenting a toddler; it's a lot more about gentle parenting ourselves during that period! ha ha! Just trying not to take things personally and give ourselves time out as their behaviour can be exhausting - but I have noticed for me that being really firm at this age meant they boys really don't need much discipline now they're older as they know their boundaries - if that makes sense? xx

[@hazelkjrsen9568]

Absolutely love these! Positivity definitely works best with my kiddos, though I definitely lose my cool a few times a week haha! xx

[@SJ_Strum]

OMG we all do - ha ha ha! It's just good to be aiming and doing it as much as possible I always think!! xxxx

[@hannahbarry2920]

Really love this video SJ and will definitely try all these 💞

[@SJ_Strum]

Hannah Barry thanks so much Hannah x

[@ascensioncano3606]

Thanks for sharing your knowledge and tips with us. You are helping teachers like me and families.💖🙏Thanks from Italy

[@kristenstrate3174]

Thanks for these tips! Super helpful!

[@hertsmumma7150]

Love these techniques SJ, thank you, I aspire to parent more like you 😊 xxx

[@SJ_Strum]

Ah thank you Dorothy that's lovely xxx

[@riogdlsff]

Loved this SJ! You seem like such a lovely family and you really seem to value making a happy home. I'd love to see a video on your favourite parenting books and where you find your inspiration - do you follow tips from your own upbringing? I'm studying Childhood and Youth Studies and your videos really inspire me x

[@SJ_Strum]

Rosie Christie ah what a great thing to study! I loved the baby whisperer; I always learnt from that that people are different and to treat babies as people which I loved x

[@katiem2417]

Great video! I work in childcare and found this video to be really insightful and helpful, as recently I’ve been trying to develop a more gentle approach to managing children’s behaviour 💗

[@SJ_Strum]

Katie M ah thank you katie! I’m so happy it was interesting; I feel like discipline is so personal and not talked about much but we all have to go through it everyday - these really work for me at the moment but I’ve learnt that things constantly change too - ha Ha!! X

[@ttiffanytt]

Fantastic video! So inspiring to be a better parent! Thank you so much

[@SJ_Strum]

Ah thank you x

[@rhiaking]

Absolutely loved this, it all makes so much sense. Really want to try the point system. I listened to the second book called "how to talk so little kids will listen" I think it is written by the daughter of the original book and it made so much sense to me. They say, turn it around and talk to yourself the way you talk to your children and you wouldn't want to cooperate either! Great book and made so much sense xxx

[@SJ_Strum]

Wow I need to listen to that! I got so many tips from the first one; it made me laugh so much too as I recognised so much of my own behaviour! xxx

[@emmachurms8034]

Love your videos so much hope you have had a wonderful day x

[@SJ_Strum]

Emma Churms ah thank you Emma! Xxx

[@beckywyatt4137]

Hi SJ, thank you for your ideas and advice. I really do think calm and gentle parenting is such a positive thing. It may take a lot of patience but a gentle kind way helps defuse the situation. Also how they are treated now as children stands them in good stead as they turn into adults and raise children of their own x. X x x

[@SJ_Strum]

Becky Wyatt that’s so true; I want the boys to always come to us as their little happy place even when they have their own kids - I kind of get excited for those days!!! X

[@houseofhutton3294]

Really smart parenting. Great tips SJ! Thanks x

[@SJ_Strum]

Ah thanks lovely xxxx

[@zaynaba62]

Loved hearing about these techniques. Thanks so much SJ! 😊 💕 Would love to see the Toddlers version 👍

[@SJ_Strum]

Yes I'll do a toddler version! xxxx

[@dominiquerose8112]

As I did my hair and watch/ listen, I was like..."oh my gosh why do I do that!?"... Really enjoyed this video & will definitely use some of your ideas. (I just see it as 'Good Parenting')

[@KateStutter]

Thanks for sharing these tips, I love this video! I’m really struggling with getting my kids to listen and I am turning into such a shouty mum so this is going to help me loads! Xxx

[@SJ_Strum]

Oh it's so hard!! These really have worked for us; it's not all perfect here by any means!!! But I do love having little techniques and find I'm much calmer if I'm doing something positive vs just reacting xxxx

[@JoyfulParentswithMyla]

kzbin.info/www/bejne/r6PTpaGjnsx0iJY Can I share this with you? There is also one on getting kids to listen!

[@rachels4172]

Such a brilliant and useful video. Not listening and squabbling drive me insane and I hate being a shouty mum, it just ruins the day for all of us. Thank you so much I am definitely going to be putting these techniques into practice. Xx

[@SJ_Strum]

Oh me too!! The not listening is crazy sometimes; I don't expect them to listen like an adult but literally ignoring that I'm talking drives me mad!!!!! The listening points really helped me xx

[@TheLazyhomesteader]

I love all of these! I really aspire to be as patient as you with my daughter! ❤️

[@SJ_Strum]

Rebekah Larsen ah thanks so much Rebekah; I think I’m naturally someone who avoids confrontation and everyone has always called me calm!!! Even when in my head I’m not - ha ha! It’s good for me sometimes to go the other way and be more firm. Our children are often like us personality wise so respond how we would I imagine xxxxx

[@TheLazyhomesteader]

Absolutely! @@SJ_Strum Thank you for making this video, I will definitely will be implementing these tips in my home!

[@noegarza4746]

Thank you for sharing these wonderful tips. One suggestion would be, prepping our children before the task . Like,"10 minutes and we will need to put our shoes on so that we won't be late for school ". This helps especially when they are at play or heavily engaging in a activity of some sort. It will make them aware of the shift that is about to take place and slow down momentum in which they involved in! Great concepts 💡 👏

[@veonniferdegoede6367]

Love these videos!! ❤

[@SJ_Strum]

Veonnifer de Goede ah I’m so glad you like them; I love making this type of video x

[@badubadu10]

More of these please

[@joanneniethammer1930]

A great video, thank you. I will have to watch it again and make notes. House points will be good too. Also would love a toddler video. Thank you. 💗💗

[@SJ_Strum]

I'll do the toddler one next; it's hard as they all have their own little personalities and I think Evelina is really chilled compared to her brothers - maybe as she has so much stimulation from them!!! But there are some things i've read and do that I think really help. x

[@joanneniethammer1930]

@@SJ_Strum yes they are very different. My third child is much more relaxed which is a good job lol. Thank you x

[@aoifehickey6295]

This really made me stop and think... am loving this series x

[@SJ_Strum]

Ah amazing thanks Aoife x

[@sarahlaing4337]

I must admit that I was a bit sceptical as I do feel most parents aren’t disciplining there children enough BUT this was such an awesome video and absolutely brilliant ideas and tips . They really made Sence and I think they would totally work. Thank you so so much for your help!! 😘😃💚 your hair is looking beautiful by the way 💁🏼‍♀️ xx

[@SJ_Strum]

Ah thanks Sarah! Yes it's hard isn't it as Gentle Parenting to me is also a bit 'far out' sometimes. Like letting them make all their own choices; I'm a firm bedtime parent!! I need that time without them for my sanity!!!! ha ha ha! But I love these positive discipline parts the most; it's so lovely to just bring all the positivity into the house and mine respond so much more xx

[@Aya4o4]

Raising Human Beings:... is a great book. I also loove Smart Love by Pieper 💕

[@evax9271]

I love this!!!! ❤️❤️~ Eva xoxo

[@SJ_Strum]

eva 2838 ah thank you Eva! Xx

[@jennyquezada9644]

Thanks

[@PetitRC39]

Great video ! Loved it ! 👍❤ xxx

[@SJ_Strum]

Chloé PETIT-RICHARD ah thank you Chloe x

[@dianabrown2258]

I love the house points!! Love harry potter lol

[@lizharbourne2414]

I adore your video's thank you for your wonderful tips. I have a toddler & following your gentle parenting tips & about to start potty training using your advice too. Do you have any tips for a toddler picky eater using gentle parenting methods? x

[@nessicooper5205]

I try to be as gentle as possible but it gets to a point where I feel like nothing is working. I will definitely try this points system.

[@SJ_Strum]

It does at times! And all children are different; some are more spirited and need more firmness and some behaviour is just really testing your limits deliberately! These are just good ones to have in your arsenal! x

[@anita8455]

Please do a toddler version! My little girl has just turned one and she has tantrums for no reason and has gone from super chilled to v strong willed suddenly 😖

[@SJ_Strum]

Daryl Sczar oh it’s so hard isn’t it!!! Doing a toddler version and reading up as I need the tips too! X

[@alexwholey3391]

Great video. I need to try and implement these, especially #4. Currently parenting our two and half year old and eight month old is hard. I’m struggling to get our eldest to eat. She never seems hungry or enjoy eating anything other than fruit. I try and cook food for us all so don’t want to make two separate meals.

[@SJ_Strum]

It's really common - I think at 2 they really graze and honestly they do grow out of it. Fruit is a good option at least. I'll do some research and tips for this next video x

[@Nursetheresa_]

Great video! Totally agree with you though all the terminology is constantly changing to make it 'more PC' or just more modern it can be hard to keep up with it all! x

[@SJ_Strum]

The Welsh Mamma it’s so different from when Freddie was born; everyone was into strict routines and I was so chilled & thought I was doing it all wrong! Ha ha! X

[@serenvlogs5713]

Haha I love your videos you remind me so much of my English teacher lol

[@SJ_Strum]

How funny! ha ha! x

[@FashionbyBrittany]

I love this! I know this was 2 years ago, Do you still do House points!!? I’m looking for ways that work for my kids too!

[@SJ_Strum]

Yes we do! Works so much better than stars for us xxx

[@alexwholey3391]

Yes please do a cooperation with toddlers, I could do with the tips!

[@SJ_Strum]

I'll do this next week ! xxxxx

[@eitak6452]

Yes please do!!!

[@briantorinoka4636]

how do/did you introduce the points system to them?

[@SeifAltayar]

Hiya just started watching your videos. Was wondering about the ‘pick their own consequence’ - do you get them to do ‘choose a consequence’ directly after the ‘bad’ behaviour? For example, Freddie pushes Finn and Finn is sad. Do you ask him immediately “you have just made Finn sad, what can you do to make it up to him?” Because I am just thinking sometimes in the moment, if ‘Freddie’ was just cross and in a bad mood, would he really be able to select a consequence there and then? Thanks :)

[@SJ_Strum]

Yes it totally depends like you say: I tend to say that if you’ve made someone angry or upset - even by accident - it’s important to sort it out before moving on or ignoring it. They normally then just resolve things or deal with it when they come back to play: like Finn likes some space and takes a while to cool down so definitely he needs some time! Xxxxx

[@Cibulskyte]

I wish To become this type of parent, though I find it soo complicated. I really don’t know what we are doing wrong. My daughter just turned two and with that, she became a little monster! A child which was always listening and following instructions, going to bed as asked suddenly screams at your face for no reason and has tantrums every 10 minutes. I try to reason with her but at the end we finish by punishing her with noughty chair and other similar stuff, which as well gives no result. I would love to hear how you deal with this.. how you would apply gentle parenting to a 2 year crisis.. cause I am loosing my mind. What to do when they start to have those panic kind of attacks.. p.s. I am also pregnant with my second, but its still not very obvious on my body, could that be the reason too? Thanks SJ!

[@SJ_Strum]

It so could be - Freddie was awful to me when I was pregnant with Evelina. I felt we'd totally lost our bond and it was so sad; but it just seemed like it was weirdly the anxiety of a new baby and once she was here he was lovely. I did do a one to one day with him; but he was much older - like 6! There's a few really good gentle parenting tips for toddlers; how to hold back sometimes as well was a good one for me so they don't rely on you to solve all their frustrations - and give them choices which I find harder! Like choose when to change their nappy!!!! Though I did this yesterday and Evelina did let me change it 5 mins later without a fuss. My favourite book is on amazon "Top Tips from the Baby Whisperer for Toddlers: Secrets to Raising Happy and Cooperative Toddlers" as she has a techniques but also changes them based on personality = so you could have a 'spirited' toddler or a 'touchy' toddler etc. which I think is brilliant as Freddie was spirited but Evelina is super chilled but emotional! x

[@Cibulskyte]

SJ Strum thank you soooo soo much for the advice! Will look for that book immediately!

[@atoddlerandteeth9211]

What a fantastic video, I will definitely keep these in mind! Would love to see how to do gentle parenting with a toddler. I have a 16 month old little girl and I just hate saying ‘no’ to all bad behaviour. we use distraction A LOT but would love to hear suggestions!

[@SJ_Strum]

Yes I'll do a video next; I also hate it when I feel like an endless No Mum. I love the book 'attachment play' by altha solter it's on amazon. It's a bit older maybe but she has lots of 'game' ideas to deal with behaviour. I'll put it all into a video. If you don't mind it would be great to hear what behaviour you find hardest so I can look up ideas for that as well xxx

[@miastaples9740]

What about when your kids are in school they will be punished being told of

[@amiewilson3012]

This has a time limit. Once children get to a certain age points will mean nothing then what will be your backup plan? I also don’t like the picking a consequence as in the real world mistakes aren’t always forgiven and you can choose consequences as an adult!

[@SJ_Strum]

I agree Amie, like any discipline or parenting it definitely does always need adapting as children grow up and get more understanding. I think you can choose your consequences as an adult; it's about learning that how you choose to respond to aggravation - caused by you or others - can make a difference in the outcome. x

[@thejunebuggirl8338]

My mom used to let my put my clothes on in the car. It worked and I loved it but occasionally I’d forget them and be barefoot at school. Or wear her 4 sizes too big shoes..

[@liavxo4949]

What are some good gentle parenting books ?

[@SJ_Strum]

There’s a video from a few weeks ago on my favourites x

[@joanmoriarty3372]

Have your children ever had a tantrum in public? I always wonder how mums handle this?

[@SJ_Strum]

Yes! Lots of times - ha ha! Finn is the worst for this; I just get down to their level and encourage them to get home/outside. If it's Evelina i just rush her away then deal with it somewhere quieter. It's so stressful; I always then give myself a 'time out' to calm down!!!!! I think most other people only care about disruption - like on a plane. As long as they see the parents dealing with it I think they don't care. But it feels so stressful! I also avoid any situation that might get them into a tantrum - we never go to the supermarket! ha ha!