How to flirt with women??! Lesbian versus Baby Gay with Alayna PART 2

[@recklessmermaid]

i paused to leave a comment right before the outro, saw that i wasn't subscribed, did that, hit play, and then that absurdist art form of an outro made me feel like this is the best decision i'll make today. amazing.

[@mikemike4835]

jesse lee peterson destroyed you stevie get rekt by truth sjw

[@AlaynaJoyOfficial]

Someone tell Stevie she needs to collab more often

[@jamielondon6436]

Stevie needs to collab more often.

[@irradiated_woman8016]

Stevie you need to collab more often and forreal get on ashley gavin's WHGS podcast immmmediately.

[@libsreese]

Stevie please collab more they always turn out hilarious

[@ireallyreallyhategoogle]

okay

[@ireallyreallyhategoogle]

Stevie, you should collab with Anna Akana.

[@shaychandler2326]

Question: “How do you come out” Stevie: gaslight your family 😂😂

[@AlaynaJoyOfficial]

classic

[@stevie]

🤥

[@mikemike4835]

@@stevie jesse lee peterson destroyed you stevie get rekt by truth sjw

[@sierrashields6570]

As a Masc presenting lesbian I found myself struggling with the "Do i want to be him or with him" when i was younger. I thought i was team Jacob but i really just wanted to be tall dark and handsome.

[@tiggert4002]

That is quite relatable.

[@zrae4389]

I just wanted to comment,I'm a cis bisexual woman who relates to this SO HARD. I'm more masc presenting and have always struggled with it, just kinda differently than a masc lesbian haha. Cause yeah, sometimes I did have a crush on him but mostly I just liked his clothes. 🤣

[@amandaforshee5191]

Lmao as a butch lesbian, this is SUCH a mood

[@odin4306]

Same here!

[@alyssa0728]

that’s literally how i feel most of the time

[@lizmariediaz8062]

Stevie has been in the UK so long that she’s picked up the accent at certain times. I fucking love it

[@ihatemickiegee]

I LITERALLY JUST SAID THIS ON THE PART 1 VIDEO LMFAO

[@hhawkins8391]

A "more seasoned lesbian" brb I'm imagining Stevie swimming in thyme and coriander

[@stevie]

And Cajun spice obviously

[@lovetriste777]

with snorkel gear 🤿 😂😂

[@greensteve9307]

Kinky!

[@mikemike4835]

@@stevie jesse lee peterson destroyed you stevie get rekt by truth sjw

[@echofoxtrot2.051]

@@stevie Well duh. Gotta get that cayenne spice girl.

[@alisonjane7068]

i'm 36 and have never dated a woman, even though i've known i was into them since i was a kid. if i never got to be with a woman, i'd definitely feel like something was missing from my life. your discussion of people discovering their queerness later in life was quite comforting in that respect.

[@Steertanzer]

Same! I'm 32, and I've known since I was 14 that I was into women. I've been on dating apps (only talking to women) etc, but never actually met anyone I did anything with or had a romantic relationship with a woman. I feel way more safe about it now though, and would like to actually start dating :)

[@smile-gk7ws]

Hey Alison Jane^^ I'm 20 and made nearly the same experience(; When I dated boys in the past I behaved totally different when I was with them... Later I had a few crushes on girls and thought about my behavor when I was with girls and I realised I'm more comfortable, happy... Don't get me wrong I was happy to have male friends spent time with them but I liked them as good buddys... And I'm happy that my painful journey I had to go through helped me to except me and my sexuality (lesbian) Have a nice day

[@Peppermintytea]

Alayna and Stevie have serious collab chemistry! Loved it!

[@mariebourgot4949]

I concur! ^^

[@SweetAshGamer]

I just turned 26 and am a baby gay. I feel like I'm relearning life and realizing how much I made things unnecessarily hard to avoid the truth. It's honestly just new and scary especially as a person with anxiety. But there was actually a lot of really useful advice in this! So, thanks! 💜

[@jamielondon6436]

I love how Alayna turned the "scary" part right around into "it's exciting, because you care!" :-)

[@joofar2002]

[@patafoinification]

The first (and only) woman I slept with was visibly disappointed when I told her she was my first (she said something along the lines of "why do I always end up with people new to this"). I don't think she said that to be purposefully mean, but it definitely didn't help boost my confidence as a unexperienced bi woman

[@Jenny_796]

Sorry that happened to you, more mature and respectful people to come!

[@jamielondon6436]

Just proof that women can be dicks, too, I suppose. :-/ Remember that it's not a comment on who you are as a person, just them!

[@patafoinification]

Thanks for the kind replies! Hopefully yeah, better experiences to come 😊

[@GraciesMom]

That was so rude and thoughtless of them. You deserve to be wanted on all levels. In my experience I’ve loved being with inexperienced and experienced women alike. Generally speaking the inexperienced women were sweet, kind, eager and just damn sexy. I always felt like it was an honor to be her first. I hope you find someone more deserving of you.

[@sgtmian]

sounds like a very unhappy person. new is fun, new is exciting. that just means you have amazing experiences waiting for you.

[@kazz2319]

I've been pretty confident in my sexuality for about 6 years now, but trying to jump into my first relationship in my mid-twenties seems so terrifying. I really appreciate the attitudes and perspectives you both had and it makes me more confident to go out and pursue a partner given my relative inexperience. Thank you!!

[@matthijsclaessen8152]

Good luck and have fun. Relationships are scary AF, irrespective of gender or sexuality. But if you are kinda compatible a relationship can be very fulfilling. (-:

[@polinagonch]

same!!! had some experience but very little compared to my peers. thinking about a romantic relationship is scary, although i know I've wanted it for yearsss

[@ashleymcnutt750]

I love this collab! I'm 38 and just came out as gay. I came out as bi as a teen. I lost my V card to a female but thought it "didn't count" because there was no male appendage. When I finally came out as gay, one female friend said it was about time! She knew all along and she is as straight as an arrow. I have no problems with guy friends because there are no expectations with them. I've met some pretty intimidating women though. Love you guys!! 🌈💗

[@loulou1356]

Congrats on coming out! I'm so happy for you💛 I came out as gay at 26 and everyone said they knew all along but fellow gays always assume I am straight 😅

[@fireruby1882]

Wait it DOES count? 😶oh gosh I didn’t know that

[@egrace1321]

it's so comforting to hear that it's never too late to be inexperienced. I get really stressed about it sometimes even though im only freshly 22, but I think that's just me still trying to conform to a "straight" timeline. great video and great advice !

[@anadd6195]

Sweetie, I'm 32 so 🤷‍♀️😅😂

[@cecel6643]

I can tell how much I've grown just from that pubic hair question. I remember this being a HUUUUUUGE stress for me. I didn't think that I cared that much what other people thought, but I definitely did. I would ask other women in my life what was "normal" and what wasn't and even cried one time as a teenager because I was so confused about what how I was "supposed" to style it. Now I literally don't care. I do what I want to do, and if someone EVER had to audacity to make a negative comment about my choices they would be out of my life immediately. And now I don't even think about it anymore. So seeing that comment really brought me back and made my heart hurt for that person. Do what YOU want to do. The chances of someone not wanting to do things or making a comment are extremely low, and even if they did, you have every right to not listen to them/not want to have them as a partner.

[@zrae4389]

You two are such a vibe, you have a contrast in your personality but yet both very fiery types of people so it's really quite fun to watch. :)

[@nomadine85]

I know you said it as a joke, Stevie, but what you said about cosplaying as someone completely gave me an aha moment. In my head I can picture acting like them, looking like them, having the traits I admire. And if I come across traits that I seem to feel happy and giddy about but it feels odd to internalise them into a conceptual self, then that’s clearly something I like about them instead of want for my own person. This is fascinating and I’m off to stare at a blank wall and apply this method to all the crushes I’ve had.

[@loup4119]

This is really interesting ! Thanks !

[@mschrisfrank2420]

Great point about the ‘wanting to be them’ thing having a gender component. That was a big part of me sorting out my gender identity.

[@marlenalynne]

God, this discussion of people pleasing, setting boundaries, feeling guilt vs resentment hit HARD. Thanks for this amazing pt. 2 convo!!

[@pandajmj]

Stevie with the resentment vs. guilt thing just made me have a super like. I never ever EVER thought about it like that omg. My brain has grown larger this day

[@evercuriousmichelle]

Same!

[@LobbsterSockrates]

Baby gay is definitely a feeling! At first I felt like I had to advertise my identity and I'd jump to buy anything with rainbows on it. Now I see something with rainbows and I'm like "that's cute but it's not really my style"

[@karartistry]

Here from Alayna's channel... Stevie you need to do more collabs 🥰

[@violeta8445]

I am too

[@candicejune8701]

More collabs!!! You two are literally the best. Such perfect yin and Yang responses, which is EXACTLY what a good collab looks like ❤️

[@jessiefowler7310]

Some of us been here from the beginning with both of yall. Its crazy to think about the fact that I was always attracted to both of yalls videos years ago.

[@eatsleepcode4006]

I really like the side by side format of this video instead of constantly going back and forth between video feeds. I especially liked if one of them was going to be talking by themselves for a while that the video would then focus on their feed and then move back to showing both.

[@crystalblade8110]

i love that you posted this, I've been out for a few years but now at 28 still being single i worry its too late to find someone so i sort of gave up before i tried, this is really reassuring to push that boundary I've put up and try to get out there.

[@noahkaidenn9937]

With the "do I wanna be them or be with them?" question, I feel that to a great extent. As a transmasculine, neurodivergent person, I find it very difficult to tell if I am romantically attracted to men/masculine presenting folks or if I am feeling gender euphoria through them. Being autistic and trans, my gender is a f*cking mess, but adding attraction and sexuality on top creates a whole other level of issues.

[@fireruby1882]

That sounds stressful :( I’m so sorry. But I’m glad you know yourself a little bit

[@katara9]

hearing that bit about choosing between resentment and guilt really helped me put some things into perspective ♥ loved hearing y'all talk

[@evercuriousmichelle]

YES!! I just quit my job at a group home and my boss seemed to be intentionally trying to lay on the guilt thick. So this was a good reminder that I need to choose guilt over resentment (to choose myself over getting bulldozed) and it reminded me that she's a grown up and will survive me quitting.

[@evadege90]

Thank you two for your videos! It's all been really interesting to watch! 😊💕 As a baby gay myself (almost 31yrs old) - I find it very difficult to meet new people. Especially in these times around covid and such - I don't really get to go to places where I can explore my sexuality. Yes, of course, there are dating apps. And believe me, I'm on them. But after being ghosted for the third time this year I really am losing confidence in the situation and I find myself doubting the chance of meeting a lovely woman... Sometimes I wish I had discovered the me being a lesbian thing sooner. Now I sometimes feel like I missed so much fun and dating in my 20's (I didn't even date men.. Didn't want to - should've been a sign😂)

[@Scarly373]

Lol!!! '"Best friend' is the new word for lesbian." 🤣🤣🤣

[@PatrickPoet]

I've loved Stevie so many years. She's such a role model for me. She helps me feels safe to be myself.

[@robynrichardson6014]

I came out at 50. I was a baby gay! But 7 years later I'm gay. My older gay friends - tease me and say I'm gay in there tea time. 😀. But it's been a wonderful experience living around them. Acceptance and Understanding of them and you.

[@astoldbybianx]

Love that question you picked. People usually stray away from. Thank you! Loved this collab !!! More please!!!

[@zenspens]

This is my favorite collab. I feel like we all went from identifying as bi to figuring out we are lesbian and I feel so much less alone seeing both of your journeys! ♥️ (also Stevie’s videos were the ones I watched in secret for so long haha)

[@juliakimaro959]

I love the lesbian vs baby gay series but this one hit even better. So many aha moments within those two parts! I'm basically watching it as a substitute for queer friends you can have similar conversations with and exchange similar experiences, and it's working too well. Does anyone else stop the video and answer the questions or the girls' statements themselves as if they're actually a part of the conversation because it feels so comfortable? I know I do and it feels like a real safe space around here :)

[@recklessmermaid]

here from Alayna's channel and loving your vibe :) My recommends are getting so much gayer since i found Alayna's channel and im loving it😂

[@megankidd4671]

Stevie needs to collaborate more often.

[@meu_4449]

That was such a good conversation, what a great collab!

[@ireallyreallyhategoogle]

As a straight man, i can honestly say i don't care what a woman prefers to do with her pubic hair. As long as it's clean, you do what you want. As a hairy man, i hate the societal obsession with hairlessness.

[@saraclison1973]

Alayna: Keep cooking her meals, she'll never leave Josie: That's why I'm still here LOL😂😂😂😂😂

[@ihatemickiegee]

"IT'S A LOSE-LOSE SITUATION TO MANIPULATE ANYTHING ABOUT YOURSELF TO TRY AND PLEASE A POTENTIAL PARTNER- BECAUSE IN THE LONG RUN, YOU'RE NOT BEING TRUE TO YOURSELF FROM DAY ONE... SO THEN YOU WOULD, WHAT, NEED TO MAINTAIN THIS CHANGE THAT YOU'VE MADE?" - Alayna fkn Joy everybody. just one of the many gems from both fantastic lesbians in this video. and one i wish i would have heard ten years ago - plus, for any vulva-sporting person who was with men for a while before women, keep in mind: if you ever gave up on caring what a cis man thought of your pubic situation before starting to sleep more with women, remember, women are far less likely to be concerned about it, because 1.) we actually know that a hairstyle has nothing to do with cleanliness. lol & 2.) we deal w the exact same struggle, the question of grooming. ... MOST cis-het men i know never give a fuck about how they shaved before sleeping w someone, and cis women just learn not to care either. so why can't it be exactly the same with vulva-to-vulva contact (literally. lol)

[@mrh1594]

The way Alayna said, "Whoops", sent me over 🤣

[@throughmyeyes16]

"if i don't cook for you, how do i know if you love me??" STEVIE UR TOO L O U D

[@joofar2002]

'yoire misplacing that emotion... Resenting other person ...you've betrayed yourself.' this

[@octoberrose243]

What Stevie says around 2:45 resonated with me a lot. I’ve known I’m queer for almost three years and I know all the lingo and whatnot but I’ve never even dated anyone (I’m in a qpr as of one month tomorrow but that’s about it), so I am a baby gay in that I’m inexperienced but not in that I don’t know anything about queer culture.

[@Jesswithlessstress]

Baby-bi here. Thank you for this!!

[@OctoberAzriel]

Happy to have come across you through Alayna Joy. Convinced to come subscribe after the Ginger Lesbian panic.

[@Steertanzer]

I definitely had crushes on men that were more of a "want to be them" situation. RE: it being a gender question sometimes. It was dysphoria and envy, rather than attraction to the actual person.

[@MorgenPeschke]

"Do I want them, or want to be them?" "Just do a quick cosplay to find out!" r/egg_irl sweats profusely

[@nikkipackham2234]

Great advice! I followed you from Alana. I’m trans and gay… it’s hard to approach a woman due to a lot of the stigma against us… it’s really lovely to see you all being so open with your advice. 🙏

[@conlon4332]

12:23 OH! Ok, so I've just had something of a realisation! I've always wondered why I found it so easy to come to terms with my sexuality at age 11, but I guess I had already broken out of the box with having autism and pathological demand avoidance syndrome. Like, I was so completely used to and comfortable with not being normal, that it just wasn't a big deal to me.

[@TheJenna52]

Lol still cracking me up. As an old bean (62) not to many new beans want to date me but thats ok. I still am my own best friend.....

[@alisonbarker3862]

Excellent. I remembered your first collab. That was great, too.

[@martinamartushka5197]

Thank you sooo much for talking about people pleasers 🥺❤

[@dejWA]

"thank you so much for us"💕 haha Really loved this vid, would be v happy to see more(:

[@gemmalittle6206]

You guys are fantastic! Love you both heaps 🤗💙 and love Josie popping in every now and then 😊 I used to have the feeling do I want to be their best friend or do I want to be with them when I was younger but didn’t let myself think about it too much. Recognizing I had a bunch of crushes potentially when I was younger is wild, but I’m glad to be open and understanding of my feelings now 🥰

[@lucijamileta4424]

I never expected this combination, did I love it? Yes very much

[@nat_fletxher]

I've definitely had the 'do I like them or want to be them' moment and it turned out to be both lol, I genuinely did like them but I also looooved their aesthetic, their gestures, their confidence, and they had a long-term girlfriend and I was a baby gay at the time🤣

[@just_cassshow303]

This helped a lot! I’ve been going through this weird phase where I know for a fact I am very attracted to other girls, but felt like immersing myself in the culture seemed like a red flag for some reason. I thought something was wrong with me, but I think it’s just a part of the process of self realization. I’m going on a date with a girl this Sunday, and I already feel less nervous than the first date I ever went on with a girl which wasn’t that long ago. ☺️

[@xoUrbanSun]

stevie you need to collab more often

[@bilingualnerd7009]

I loved both of these videos soooo damn much! 🥰

[@panicwentmanic2525]

Yay!! The collab I didn’t know I needed right now.

[@IAmOneSickPuppy]

I totally vibe with the "less terror" feeling when it comes to being a baby gay

[@LiminalDoll]

I'm so here for this collab!

[@Ella-fr4mb]

I just noticed that your hair partings are opposite. Idk why but I somehow find it so funny

[@McFloT]

Yup, the best crossover ever.

[@plaguedbysociety]

I can’t believe these were the exact questions I was having. Thank you so much!

[@OmegaII]

For the "Personal grooming" question: I put it this way, everyone has superficial likes, but after getting to know someone those become less of a thing.

[@anadd6195]

Yep

[@Erica-qy8rh]

Alayna sent me to tell you you need to do collabs more often ☺️

[@rubybond7888]

Love this made me realise that I am part of a queer culture online and I always feel different to my straight friends and family like I’ve never really been able to put my finger on it but it’s that I’m part of that world my family and friends aren’t .my reality is so heteronormative ❤️ I go to be online to get my gay representation and to learn queer culture hopefully one day I will have a group of queer people around me so I can enjoy taking about uhaul lesbians ,same sex dancing, lady gagas new film and just be understood ❤️ thank you xxx

[@Sparkle__Punk]

Stevie needs to collab more often

[@H.Wotton]

Stevie already has a british accent lol

[@care623]

wildly chaotic collab i love it

[@Milena-wy4zu]

i first watched alaynas and then yours video and i can only say you should collab more often

[@loupelizzo2399]

Just continued laughing throughout this video and this was a great video, and I love the honest answers and you’re both hilarious love you both a lot.

[@eunicekajoba5096]

I loved this video and that outtro was gold LOL

[@SillyTube9]

My friends, you can be a 50 year old baby gay, if you’re just coming to terms with these feelings. It 100% depends upon where you live, how much the larger culture around you has supported (or not supported) in your life. Be generous and patient with each other.

[@Steertanzer]

As someone who did not disclose I was a virgin the first time I had sex with a man, I would say it could probably feel safer to disclose that you haven't been with a woman before. But that's from my experience. I feel like it would put less pressure on me, to have the other person know. And also to vet whether they'd be accepting of that or not? Since I hear so many people talking about how they "never want to be with someone who is new to having sex with women", I would definitely want to know if that's their stance BEFORE doing anything with them.

[@thaissete5391]

Amei o vídeo, amei a leveza e o conteúdo do que foi falado ❤

[@sarahmaynard3846]

I'm probably going to get laughed at for this. I'm a year into all of this and I'm confused on a lot of the toys. 🤦‍♀️ like how the heck do you use a double ended dido? I'm completely serious. Stevie I've been trying to search your videos to learn as much as possible.

[@willow8186]

After years of having pondered the question 'do I want them or do I want to be like them' I’ve accepted that, for me, it’s usually both 😄

[@BeingTiffany]

"gays are on a different timeline"

[@dudacampos6841]

Honestly salt and pepper gay is just perfect, I'll only use that for myself from now on.

[@drskelebone]

JOSIE! I'm so sorry Josie for forgetting your name. You're such a reason check on so much of this.

[@Manu2222221]

I find it very funny that people say "I'm to late to begin this path..." But have we ever questioned why we don't concider this for straight relationships? Like, when have you find a person in their 30's saying "I haven't dated ever, they sure will hate me?

[@adri8wog]

Pretty sure I only fall for the 'I don't want anything serious' type lol

[@starbucklifeluv7148]

Omg yes If Stevie does a podcast I can listen to it all day🥺

[@Zoe-zg3wc]

I’m so happy that this video exists- thank you! I have a question that I need to ask- my sister came out recently and has expressed how she feels about bi girls ( it’s not good).. I want to be able to share my experience/ sexuality too but I’m worried she’ll take it the wrong way. Basically- the first time I came was with a girl, and i do fancy some girls but not every girl but am definitely DTF. Now- would you guys find that very annoying or what do you reckon I should expect? Very on the fence about sharing this. Love you guys :) also baby gay is adorable lol

[@Alex-ph5ir]

I'm sorry you're in that situation of having to worry whether your sexuality will be accepted by someone important to you! You mention being into some girls but not all, and I just want to let you know that that is normal and doesn't make your bisexuality not real! Straight men and lesbians are both into some women but not all. Nobody will be into every member of a gender. In my experience of figuring out my bisexuality, for a long time I thought I didn't count as bi because I was physically attracted to women but didn't have crushes/want to date them. Funnily enough, I actually did have romantic crushes on women, I just didn't have the tools to understand my feelings at the time. And some of these crushes were like as obvious a crush as you can get -- nervous around her, really wanting her to like me, daydreaming about kissing her often, etc. And yet I still thought that I just really wanted to be her friend lol. So if part of your worry is that your feelings for women are mostly in the sexual realm, just know that sometimes it can take time to fully understand your queerness and your own feelings. That being said, even if it turns out that you don't really experience romantic attraction to women, or rarely do, that's valid too! It's all about being authentic to yourself and treating others with respect. Anyone who judges you for how you experience romantic and/or sexual attraction -- well, that's their issue to work through. Not saying your sister is a bad person, but it sounds like she has picked up some biphobia from what you said. That's something that is her responsibility to work through. I hope that eventually you're able to be open about yourself in the way that you want to, and that you are met with the love and acceptance you deserve

[@erin3888]

i don't know how but men always think i'm flirting with them while women always think i'm just trying to be best friends and i'm too shy to be forwardsoifhewofh

[@vg1384]

I watched both vids back to back so idk which one said this but they mentioned experimenting if you're unsure of your sexuality but I want to add to that and say, ask yourself why you aren't experimenting even though you're unsure. The fact that I had many opportunities in safe environments but didn't experiment helped me come out as both demi and bi because the reason I wasn't doing it was because what if I like it? (or i only found the person aesthetically attractive for the demi part)

[@H.Wotton]

Hey Stevie, don’t know if you heard this but you should do more collabs

[@honesttogod_]

omg why am i triple commenting but stevie is so funny

[@broadwaybrat1986]

4:29 Stevies smile was so cute there

[@wendyrobison1973]

It's never too late. Just now at 48 I am finally being me

[@jerrihadding2534]

There was some blessed goddess who saw after me when I began to understand that I was NOT heterosexual after three years of my happy marriage to an extraordinary man. 1969 was the year that I married in March and the year of the Stonewall Riots in June. As an absolute innocent I read about the Stonewall Riots (no internet then) and felt an extraordinary kinship. But it took those three years for me to cautiously, and hilariously, come to the understanding that I was not merely heterosexual. Hilariously because I was reading the then newly released book “Lesbian Women”. I SO clearly remember that I placed my finger in the moment of the book where I finally understood that I likely was Lesbian (at that time “bisexual” was an “unknown” concept, although it was later historically documented) and I went to my husband and PROUDLY announced “I am a Lesbian!” For us, at that time, it was as if I had announced that I was Chinese. Interesting, but not particularly life changing since my husband’s mother was Jamaican and her history included Black members of her family. In other words, “Lesbian” had as much impact in my husband’s family as if I had declared that I was Chinese.

[@thewarren2493]

Great job ladies. New subscriber to you both. Old Lez. Love the content.

[@Love-kq1we]

First time commenting long time watcher I think you are absolutely amazing the both of you ❤❤

[@aminasam5086]

Love the intro already! And first! 💜

[@manicmorri7049]

The “Do I like them or do I want to be like them” question and answer helped me with my gender identity. Not me realizing that I kind of want to be nonbinary with dominantly male style with fem undertones. I would love to do some experimentation but I have ✨homophobic parents✨

[@ilkemhatem]

Okay but Stevie is my all time fav youtuber

[@turnbackawwround8172]

pleaseeee talk about fear of intimacy issues that you brought up in the first video!!