moles don't think about space or small talk: a poem

[@doddleoddle]

As you read it, I imagined it as going through a panic attack from start to finish Damn my heart rate is a little faster I will be coming back to this one a lot

[@technicallyshyworld2663]

I literally see you eVERYWHERE DODIE

[@august6629]

me too, Dodie...

[@fcayhr]

*one year later and i'm still coming back to this*

[@kaileyelizabeth9122]

Dodie, I just saw this but i can tell you that you are 50000000% true

[@jae3004]

"So at least then you know where the suffocation is coming from." That hit me hard.

[@mothman4672]

"someone please help me, I think I'm becoming insignificant again" is absolutely my favorite line

[@sanadjahrichardson9724]

grayson ಠ_ಠ same

[@Dan0rioN]

Yeah I just wish she gave more time between those last 3 words 😮

[@tamaralloyd4063]

"i had an excellent imagination who ever would have guessed i’d use it in the creation of my own personal hell" hit me really, really hard... kudos Sav for being amazeballs as usual :)

[@KeyBoard-io8nl]

100%

[@ama-nwo]

thank you so much for keeping these videos unlisted instead of privating them, these poems have gotten me through so much this past decade

[@Meg.01]

I really loved the thought of burying yourself alive, so at least you know where the suffocation is coming from. It's reassuring to know that it's not just me who feels this way, and not just me who gets frustrated when the anxiety digs it's claws in and builds to crushing terror, when there's nothing tangible to be frightened of.

[@SandmanLibrary]

"someone please help me, i think i’m becoming/ insignificant again/ that’s the third time today/ a mole wouldn’t cry when/ asked of its day" and now i'm crying. I really, really, really feel this one. maybe one day i'll write something like this, for now- i've got some work to day. This poem really, really hit home for me, especially recently. I didn't have anxiety growing up, but due to a few situations and a medication I was on for six years of my life [which I pulled myself off of. Don't cut meds, especially meds for mentally abnormalities, cold turkey. talk to your doctor about it and get it sorted out, please] it's developed increasingly in the first few years of "adulthood" for me. I entirely get this too- I'm not suicidal by any stretch, but sometimes i just want to disappear for a while. or forever.

[@fiona-zn3ln]

"but oh i bring the burn" me in any argument ever

[@LucyTregidon]

Your poetry is incredible. Every time you share something I want to hear more.

[@staceyhucknall8539]

for a poem with moles in the title, this was fucking deep wow sav

[@laurentemple550]

I relate so much to these lines: 'when i was little i was told i had an excellent imagination who ever would have guessed i’d use it in the creation of my own personal hell' because when I was younger I could have never have imagined that the thing that made me like myself, my imagination, could turn against me in such an awful way

[@KeyBoard-io8nl]

Agree, it's so powerful.

[@grace8412]

this is honestly my favourite poem, i've never heard anyone put this situation into words so perfectly

[@inessladia5747]

Agreed.

[@megan-yf8jj]

"i think im becoming insignificant again, thats the third time today" if u listen closely you can heat my heart shattering into a million pieces

[@melanieocampo781]

I would watch Sav's yt videos religiously when I was a teenager. I thought of her randomly today as I'm almost 21 now, and I quietly started reciting this poem to myself, as I used to do when I was younger and a lot more scared. Naturally I came back to this video to hear her perform it herself, like this little time capsule that cemented the world in both our our eyes

[@technicallyshyworld2663]

I've listened to this poem so much that I can recite it from memory

[@technicallyshyworld2663]

I still can, and I often do to calm myself down in a panic attack

[@jemima4995]

@@technicallyshyworld2663 thats great to hear that it helps you!

[@technicallyshyworld2663]

this and everything else you have ever written lives in my head every single waking day. it really means more to me than I could ever put into human words. thank you. I will never stop coming back to this.

[@Viniter]

Amazing poem... very powerful. "I'm the biggest small of them all" brilliant

[@ScreamzOfSin]

"So at least then you know where the suffocation is coming from" - Beautiful!

[@SophisticatedBanjo]

It's amazing how poetry is so powerful at communicating personal experiences and feelings- really helps you to feel connected with others, especially when dealing with things like anxiety and self-doubt. Your poetry is as great as ever, Savannah. I'd love if you shared even more of it on your channel.

[@sososaby2133]

And five years later, here i am again

[@imthemay]

this is my fav one of your poems, i love the way you just make words happen and its so bloody beautiful

[@FM-to3gy]

you've got your own videos apparently

[@imthemay]

mievtah frank indeed i do

[@Captainhohohi]

It's been over 5 years since I've listened to this poem and I still go back to listen to it from time to time.

[@allisonwarnke8332]

I have never related to someone on a deeper level. Your words are so honest and they capture the feeling perfectly. Thank you for existing xx

[@TheJazz3698]

Thank you so much for this. I was actually just coming down from an anxiety attack watching this and trying to calm down and even before you elaborated, the minute you said those first few lines I knew exactly what the poem was about and I could completely relate to every feeling mentioned in this. This was utterly amazing. Love your poetry and I especially loved this one. ❤️

[@Lara-vu6sg]

Same. Even if I weren't, though, and even if I hadn't ever struggled with anxiety, I would understand it so much better because of this. You always somehow manage to speak volumes and say so many important things but make it sound beautiful.

[@CoalesceDesires]

“I’m the biggest small of them all.” That one opened my eyes wide.

[@emilyannecan1564]

It's nice to hear someone talk about anxiety without being dramatic about it. I relate to this poem. I really like it.

[@myrtolefk]

"I'm the biggest small of them all" you have no idea how much I relate to this and to the whole poem and how much I love your poetry! I was even considering not commenting because I cannot properly express how these words like feel so right to me and I have listened to this more than 30 times on repeat. I appreciate you so much!

[@jazminayala906]

Your poetry will always be my favorite thing in the world. I can relate with this poem very much because I also suffer from severe anxiety and your poetry just makes me feel less alone and I just love it so very much

[@LOTRLEGOLASFAN88]

This one made me actually cry. It was the part about becoming small. I have this fear of always inconveniencing someone- being in their way, being too pushy, too much, draining too many resources from people I love. And yeah. Just, thank you for putting this into words.

[@VioodieASMR]

the way she talks is so unique

[@VJ21.]

"So at least then I'll know where suffocation coming from Because when I feel my stomach Being pulled out through my lips and forced back down again whenever I decide so " I really felt that !!

[@PrincessaAnastasiya]

I just paused cleaning my room (not difficult to do) and Lana del Rey on spotify (supremely difficult to do) to watch you yayayay

[@PrincessaAnastasiya]

Okay done and no words besides one: exquisite.

[@Sylinic]

I can appreciate the struggles with anxiety, it can really be crippling.

[@drewkulele]

i feel this one so hard, thank you for writing it. i deal with anxiety as well (along with ocd) and this encapsulates the feeling of anxiousness so well. the bit about "my stomach being pulled out through my lips" really resonates with me, because (in my experience) my stomach and that feeling of falling is where my anxiety physically manifests itself the most. i love this so much, i know i'm going to be listening to it a lot.

[@wwoowwz]

That was an amazing poem. It illustrated well how anxiety feels. You're going to go on to do some really amazing things beyond what you've already done💕

[@joseamaro9363]

The empathy made me cry

[@neon-nocte]

your writing is incredible. the way you string together words and thoughts and sounds always blows me away

[@karenanderson2038]

Absolutely beautiful. I read the words in the description as you said it and the simple little pauses and looks you give really make the poem, you truly are an amazing speaker.

[@ceecil]

at one point i thought i was writing this myself. i love this so much. it's such an accurate representation of anxiety, but it has the sort of Thing that makes your poems individual and so amazing to listen to.

[@limoncita]

8 years later, i’m still coming back to this. thank you sav for describing my soul

[@valerie2647]

This put into words what I'm feeling most of the time. Thank you for existing .

[@abigailriggs8864]

I have had anxiety for 6 years now and I've just become stable, I think, this poem almost brought me back because I felt the pain that was felt to bring upon its own creation. I literally started to hyperventilate and tear up. Savannah Brown if you read this. I love your poetry. It is a miracle to the world. I memorized Real Estate in a day. Thank you it is rare that a poet conveys what they mean so clearly. Thank you!!!

[@Tahmorrow]

Your voice and delivery on your poems is so strong and gorgeous, so good.

[@libbyleonard-shaw5388]

Coming back to this 6 years after I listened for the first time (from 15 to 21) and struck again by your beautiful words and my always changing way of relating to them. Wishing you well always.

[@kellyharrison8253]

I’m so glad this poem is still on your channel it has meant so much to me over the years and is something I still connect deeply with. Thanks sav

[@madisonschlueb7866]

You can hear the emotion u love this so much I literally cried its raw I guess im still looking for a better word

[@videosbyrachelmakneer]

This made me cry. You and your poems are beautiful and i really needed this today, so thank you

[@dem4xed]

Wow, thank you, I felt that. Over the last 2 years I became pretty sealed off. Thought that I better feel nothing than walking head down questioning every step that I take. So again, thank you. I hope I can feel the desire again to go out and experience first hand, rather than through my monitor.

[@martha-4637]

this poem is how i feel, and how a version of me that is as creative as you would express my feelings, and I would love to express my emotions so clearly and beautifully, because this whole idea is how my anxiety and depression feels; it's like you've seen into my brain and constructed what was there into a poem, so thank you so so so very much because this was beautiful and has really touched me, and i hope your anxiety hasn't been too shitty today xxxxxx

[@iwillregretthis5127]

i feel like ive commented on this before, but i really love this poem. somehow you put your feelings into words and they completely explained my feelings as well? idk, but i think this was a really beautiful piece, definitely one of my favorite poems. the lines " when i was little i was told i had an excellent imagination, who ever would have guessed i’d use it in the creation of my own personal hell, where everything’s my fault and no matter how small i get i always take up too much space" get me every time tbh

[@sabrinasmnelli]

My dealing with anxiety has gotten pretty bad recently. This poem manifests exactly how I'm feeling about it, and I wish I could turn this awful situation into something as exquisite as this poem. Good on you, Sav!

[@brianamarcado4672]

you're the most relatable person ive come across..and you have such a heart that mine melts when I hear your poems. and as I've been watching your videos, your hair has changed. but id like to say you're so pretty!

[@sophelisabeth8819]

This spoke volumes to me. I have pretty bad anxiety and this poem just puts into words what I never can. Suffocation. Amazing poem, inspired

[@jasiram.9223]

I want to give you a big warm bouncy hug right now... you painted a picture of how I feel when I get anxiety. Nice to know that there's someone out there that not only feels anxiety, but feels it in the same way :)

[@luciclarke2229]

This is so incredible and I don't even know how to word how I feel about this because I am honestly in aw. In a way this sums up everything I could fathom about anxiety but as you said it also barely scratches the surface and I love that so much

[@davidmendoza1964]

I loved your move poem. I relate to some parts.i had not thought to write to that deep prospective. When I was so deep under that I wanted to walk out in traffic. I felt the rope around my waist and when reaching boundaries the rope pulled me to safety as I cried and screamed at top of my lungs,"why am I going through this horrid issue in my life just take me I am done." I felt down in my heart," this will pass when you least expect. If I let you go on your feelings,you will have a eternal death that you know you do not want." Anxieties are like skeletons in your closet that know your weakness to the bone

[@MindFightersFilms]

it was a lovely and touching piece, it did give away that feeling of there's-too-much-life-omg and you built that feeling slowly at parts and in others too suddenly and i guess that's how anxiety is for me. the interpretation i had before you gave us your purpose, was around the whole feeling of never really understanding depression and the way we feel after so many years and this line 'so at least you know where the suffocation is coming from' is basically what we all feel at some point. again, thank you for such a beautiful piece.

[@greeengoo]

this will always always be my favourite poem of yours it got me through the worst period of my life when i was in and out of psych wards and i will always be in debt to you for that

[@cocoexisting1589]

Listened intently to every word and felt my heart getting heavier after every line; which means you've done a fantastic job. I also have high levels of anxiety, yet I couldn't describe to anyone the feeling of being on the edge and having to overthink the smallest conversations. Now I can show them your beautiful poem and maybe have the people in my life understand these pangs a little bit. More love to your words xx

[@sydneyhall8244]

savannah this is my alltime favorite poem. it brings tears to my eyes every single time i watch/read it. hits all the notes of how i feel at my low points and is just so beautifully crafted. internal rhymes have always done something for me. thank you so so so much

[@JustJAINE]

Your poem made me feel raw. It was amazing how I the poem spoke to my own personal struggles and probably others as well. It felt personal and universal. Thank you.

[@EricElsewhere]

I really do love your poetry, the words, the inner rhyme, everything. even though I have a hard time understanding anxiety, because I'm mostly the opposite of that and always try to spread happiness by just being around, I do get what you are saying

[@TheKAROLCOU]

I am so thankful to see you as opened to everyone. I am glad to appreciate a new mindset through your poems. thanks a bunch!

[@kittycatkitt02]

you are a beautiful human being. I want to thank you for just existing putting yourself out there. I know this seems odd but I really relate to you and knowing there is someone out there somewhere going through some of the things I am really means a lot to me, like im not as alone as I thought. so I wanted to thank you because truly im not sure what I would've done if I had never come across your videos and poetry

[@aimlessdisquiet7665]

The rawness hits hard.

[@zoefiedler986]

I'm just about to buy your to posters. Both to remind me to be strong and to feel empowered. To me this really makes me think back to the time I was having bad anxiety issues. I never had panic attacks but I was having issues breathing 24 hours a day and just staying home, not going out at all and just sleeping and trying to forget the world outside and all of my problems. The mole living in the hill keeping everything cold and warm out reminds me of me keeping out all my friends, not leaving my room. My anxiety kept me inside to keep out the cold ( bad experiences ) but it also kept out the warm ( good experiences ). I like the metaphor of being buried alive - I couldn't breathe, I was so full of pain and desperation, struggling to live or simply to exist but I really felt like I was drowing under the pressure to function. I did make everything and my disorder even worse by giving in not getting myself help and refusing to go out anymore and I did create my one living hell. The line where you talk about that masochistic thrill reminds me of my eating disorder. Whenever I feel bad I stuff myself with food, like a really bad guilty pleasure that in the end is really masochistic because it ends up making me feel even more worthless and desperate.

[@666nadia1995n]

Thank you for verbalizing these suffocating feelings, wich are felt by many nowadays. Your words went so deep it made me shiver. It is so beautiful!

[@315isaiah]

I freakin love everything that you write and each poem is so truthful and touching. It seems like writing just comes naturally for you, I just wish I could write one poem.

[@madamelicorne581]

I think your poetry is amazing. The first video I saw of you was your supercool slampoem. I'm so happy that people like you can make beautiful things like this poem. It feels like I understand myself better when I listen to your poem.

[@hiimnotreal]

I also suffer from anxiety, and this is a pretty accurate representation. I could tell that's what the poem was about from the beginning.

[@cain3963]

I love this so much, relatable in a way. your poetry is one of my inspirations for when I need to write my own poems for school. you have an amazing way with words. 💖

[@AhmedAbidelli]

I love how poetically you put down kierkegaard idea of "the lily of the field and the bird of the air", I'm not sure that you meant to do so however I'am sure that this description reached me more intensily than reading kierkegaard himself. I love this !

[@sydneyw2479]

when i'm feeling lost, and above all, hopeless, i come here to watch your videos. you seem more, real. if that makes sense. i need that. along with a majority of the world. so, thanks.

[@hannahnadine3674]

One question, how is somebody able to dislike this? It's a beautiful peice of art

[@wileygee]

You are such a bright eyed beauty and your words are so full of wit and pleasurable charm. I can't help but praise your creativity.

[@jaderichardson9046]

i am only up to 1.21 and im already in love with this poem. you're amazing.

[@algellish340]

"im the biggest small of them all" hurts me, genuinely. i feel that way a lot. i feel grotesque and huge but so completely useless and if i died no one would care. im so far from myself and it hurts because that doesn't make any sense. im afraid. this is too personal but i don't know who else to talk to but no one in particular.

[@meifiower]

this is by far one of my favorite poems of yours

[@jesstaketwo2141]

hi i just came back to this because i felt it a lot today. wanted to let u know that ur poetry and words rlly stick always thank u for being so cool and powerful ily

[@vilmalopez338]

I love your poetry man it speaks to me I've awkwardly remember most of them cause they speak when I can't

[@shea5542]

The fact that people think you’re going to Jill yourself from that poem means they don’t feel so deeply on such a daily basis

[@michellecallegari2172]

you are so talented

[@caitlinhickson1021]

i wanna be a mole, i want this written all over my walls i love this so much

[@joystone5833]

Thank you for this poem. Ever since you posted it, I've been returning to listen to it before bed a couple of times a week as it just does so much to help bring my thoughts into perspective. So, yeah, sincerely: thank you.

[@aletheiaverite]

these savannah videos were so cosy aaaah !!

[@isabel12341m]

I always take time to listen to your poetry because it is so deep.

[@bb-fk9wd]

Thank you because I began writing a comment and then ended up writing a poem. I cannot tell you how many times I wish I could be somewhere alone without my thoughts or the world. I also have severe anxiety and you summed it up perfectly. Sorry if this is a jumbled mess

[@elle13celley]

This is an incredible poem. I have anxiety (generalized/social anxiety disorder) and can definitely relate.

[@winonaholmes9787]

for some reason this poem makes me feel very very scared and strange but it seems important

[@theface0fkirsteh]

I love this poem so much thank you for writing it

[@athomas657]

I thought it meant like atoms and molecules kinda moles

[@sabebrationtimes4282]

You need to share more of your poems to us on your channel! You're so incredible..You inspired me to write and I just want to say you're amazing!

[@igglepiggle9]

This poem is so beautiful. Wow.

[@deceptivepanther]

Fantastic.

[@yoursforeverjoniekim]

did anyone else start bawling

[@katielarisa]

Your poems always inspire me with new ideas and concepts for my own. You're such a raw, true talent. I wanted to put something here that expressed my connection to this poem and how much it has moved me and how much all of your poems give me goosebumps. I hope one day to write something half as good as this. Thank you for sharing

[@bunnyfabuloso6948]

THIS POEM PUT INTO WORDS WHAT I DIDNT KNOW HOW TO!!!! GO SAV!!!!!!!!

[@cherrymidniqht]

this gives me the chills

[@LucianWheelerLPW]

I always have loved hearing poetry read out. It gives it a new meaning. And well delivered! I love the poem :)

[@kryskross9027]

I really thought this was about bulimia ahaha. "The third time today," and the stuff about the cold and the heat (comparing literal extremes of coldness when you're not eating all day and sweating when you've overstuffed yourself from a binge, but also comparing the polar opposite type nature of bulimia where you're either fasting or binging.) Hmm, I was really surprised when you said anxiety, although I guess anxiety is part of the core of an ED. Either way, this poem is great.

[@aussieaddicted]

This is absolutely my new favourite poem. I connect with it so much. Thank you