Save Your Marriage While Separated - How To

[@GinNBoost]

Wow this video was released at the perfect time. I’m on month 2 of a legal separation and it’s been killing me. “Wife” has no desire to work on the marriage. Is completely done and wants out. She seems to be celebrating the separation actually. I’ve begged and pleaded for her to reconsider…especially since we have young children together. We’ve also had several nasty fights that led up to this. I’m in a lot of pain and appreciate you making this video. Thanks Coach Lee!

[@RealCoachLee]

You really, really need to book a free discovery call with Johnny on my staff about my Relationship Reignite workshop. Do that asap (now) at www.marriageradio.com/marriage-reignite/

[@gsdkid182]

Since this post was 6 hours ago I hope in your case the separation was recent. Please give them space or no contact coach says them feel the separation. They loved you once and can again. Make yourself more valuable than you were when you met. Exercise, read books, talk to people and a counselor. If you have faith go to church. Y’all have kids…you two will always have a relationship. Become better than ever before. I could go on and on

[@dccs6009]

Look up SMART contact.

[@nunyabb]

0:22 Decrease the separation amount 2:09 regular meet ups or dates 3:47 try to work toward,, shared plan to reunite 6:01 seek ways to be team mates 7:28 avoid the negative SEEK positives

[@EssyDee-t4z]

Thank you. I look forward to this. I’m working so hard to save mine from the hurt that existed in the marriage. It’s a slow and complicated process and patience is important. I have bettered myself in so many ways and I’m hoping it will finally have my husband return.

[@RealCoachLee]

Did you get my free mini-course on saving your marriage? It’s at www.marriageradio.com/mini-course-to-save-your-marriage/

[@darrellborland119]

@user-ee1mz7ht3d...thanks for your commitment toward reconciliation. Channel-participants tend to support dysfunctional "blow back" conversations. Your narrative is a ray of sunshine. Truly working on what is most important, dropping the ego-posturing...gives results. My situation has benefited immensely from such actions. I hope your hubby also exhibits the same commitment. Please give updates, if appropriate. Thanks from Darrell.

[@blukeepingittru8200]

@@RealCoachLeeI need your help me and the mother of my child haven’t been together in 3 yrs, we co parent very well, I was dating this beautiful young lady for 3 yrs but I was still sexually involved with the mother of my child for a yr and half, now my bm is dating someone and I can feel it so I call it off with the young lady I was dating hoping my bm would just take me back she told me she don’t love me anymore and I need to move on I feel like she still love me but I know I hurt her when dating the other lady

[@kingarthur5110]

Not gonna lie, this video has confused the hell out of me. It runs completely counter to everything else I've seen/read. My wife and I are separated but still living together. She discarded me out of the blue saying she 'wasn't sure she had feelings for me anymore'. For the first two months I was doing basically what he said in this video: being there, keeping things light, talking about trying to reconcile etc. She would humor me and sit there but not really approach the table with anything meaningful, meanwhile she's off living her best single girl life: buying cute outfits, getting manicures, going out with friends (many of which are guys) and so on. So, I followed the advice of pretty much every other relationship coach and have gone modifed no contact - I'm polite, talk to her about matters involving the kids, house etc. But that's it. No validation. I'm giving her the breakup she wanted while I work on myself, my hope being she feels my absence and reconsiders her decision. But now he's saying that's the WRONG thing to do?? So where do I go from here? I feel if I break no contact it's just going to look like I was being petulant this past month, which is not attractive at all, and it's going to give her the impression I'm just an easy available option whenever she decides to pluck me back up. But now watching this, I'm second guessing myself and worried I'm doing more damage by staying in no contact.

[@RealCoachLee]

I suggest you get my free mini-course to save a marriage here: www.marriageradio.com/mini-course-to-save-your-marriage/

[@kingarthur5110]

@@RealCoachLee I'll definitely give that a look. Understand I'm not questioning your experience in this field, far from it. Your videos have helped me greatly to this point. But I guess I just don't understand how the psychology of no contact would be different in this scenario than all the others. All the things you talk about in this video, the family meal times, sharing little jokes/memories, the date nights etc. I was already doing when she dumped me. I don't see how carrying on doing the same thing would bring her back, and it's just going to give her that constant reassurance that I'm pining away for her in the wings. Not a good look. But with no contact surely she would go through all the same stages as anyone else, no?

[@kandrayatv]

I'm experiencing almost the same thing and it is very confusing because they left to another state but I wanna say something so bad but don't wanna seem desperate if I break no contact. He seriously needs to clarify this...

[@Hobbyman1234]

My wife and I are stationed overseas. She is a contractor on a military installation and I am now a former service member. A month before I separated she dropped it on me that she wanted a divorce. She didn’t want to try ANYTHING. It came as a complete shock to me. I thought our marriage was fine but for her she had been feeling drained and hurt inside but didn’t convey that to me. I am now back in the states and she wants me to file the divorce here. I watched your other videos and did no contact and she has been the one messaging me on Christmas and other random things. The conversations are pleasant but I have no idea what to do and how to show to her that I can improve.

[@RealCoachLee]

Hobbyman, for sure get my free mini-course to save a marriage at www.marriageradio.com/mini-course-to-save-your-marriage/ and I suggest booking a free discovery call with Johnny on my staff to talk about my workshop for marriages in crisis called Relationship Reignite. But start with the free mini-course.

[@nunyabb]

More marriage stuff plzzzzzz

[@ArthurMorgan20000]

Hey Coach Lee love the videos, one month after my break up my ex girlfriend reposted a tik tok that said that you can love someone and miss them so much but still know they’re not your person and you’re better off not together. Is she just trying to convince herself of her decision, I don’t see the point of posting this if she really was sure of her decision. It is a long distance relationship if that makes any difference, we saw each other usually every 2-3 weeks for a few days at a time. Thanks!!

[@user-wu3dy1nq4o]

Thank you for this great video, Coach. What do you think about going to emotional focused couples therapy in addition to doing the things you mention? Is it a bad idea?

[@Farawatiwang]

I separated with my husband for 9 months now. He never reached out at all. i am the on who messages him like once every month. We went for dinner 1 time during our separation, and 5 weeks ago, I texted him i want to fix our marriage, but he refused and he said it's better we just be friends. I replied sarcastic, " Oh yeah...be friend, thanks." But i told my self i will never want to be his friend 😂. ( Sorry for the grammar, English is my second languages 😁 )

[@javierorlandopach]

I’ve been with my wife for ten years , and like every relationship we had our up and downs but in the summer the lows were really bad , we were both depressed and miserable and didn’t handle things well , she threw me out of the house two times and I pleaded and begged and convinced her to stay, I forgave her but things kept falling apart so after a particularly nasty fight I had an anxiety attack and decided that couldn’t stay there and left, that was 3 months ago I tried space and we tried therapy but she is too hurt because I left she says I abandoned her and doesn’t validate that I feel pushed out but now she wants a divorce and I don’t want to cause I love her and miss her terribly. We have been in contact but we always end up fighting and I don’t know what to do, I think I should try no contact but what if I loose her forever.

[@RealCoachLee]

Javier, you need to start with my free minicourse to save a marriage. You can get it at www.marriageradio.com/mini-course-to-save-your-marriage/

[@cpe1704tks.]

Please, please pin this at the top of your home page. I followed a lot of your non-marriage, no contact advice and I'm afraid I did more harm than good. If I only would have watched this video first, instead of dead last.

[@joshshultz620]

This all seems good to me, and it's what I want to do; try. But it seems counter to most of your other videos focusing on no contact, is that because marriage vs dating?

[@RealCoachLee]

Yes, marriage is different unless the other person will not speak to you. I suggest you get my free minicourse on saving a marriage at myexbackcoach.com/hope-for-marriages-in-crisis/

[@Ella89zxx]

What makes marriage different because of the financial impact of a divorce? If you are not married but it is a very long term relationship with financial commitments and ties and it was a marriage without the official paperwork, what do we do then?

[@baskin283]

I’m just seeing this but in your other video you have a modified no contact for married couples and now on here I’m hearing totally different advice, i’m confused.

[@madamecurious]

7:20 Don’t be critical, be peaceful

[@tammygardner2227]

It will not help me. I was LEGALLY divorced for 36 years and my ex- spouse is deceased. How do I work towards anything in this situation.

[@jochenvandevelde2146]

I found this video after me ex came to see our son yesterday due to a medical problem. She stayed over an hour smal talking...for me it was weird and fun at the same time. Also we are texting A LOT in the past weeks (shes 85% of the time the initiator) over our son but also over stupid casual things... This confuses me a lot since she told me three months ago that she wanted a divorce...I dont know what to make of this situation. This videos makes it even more confusing 😢😅

[@RealCoachLee]

Honestly, you need to get my free minicourse on saving a marriage at www.marriageradio.com/mini-course-to-save-your-marriage/

[@riptideripwide]

So 90% of all your videos tells us to stay away from them. Now this is what you come up with?

[@BillCollins0707]

😲😲😲😲😲😲😲

[@oddtaco]

This is if you’re married 🤦‍♂️

[@asialoza5695]

Hi. Thank you for this. I'm in separation now due to husband cheating. Sepaqration was on my request. Sholud I move to him again if he agree?

[@JeromeShakur]

Weve been separated for 2 and a half months now and she broke up with me 3 months ago. She told me she wants me to move on and dont chase her. Thats why i cut all the contact to her because i thought its the right thing to do. the only connection we have now is she still gets her mail here should i start helping her out with that? She leaves the mail in there for a long time i could help her by letting her know some of it has been in there for a long time. Or should i just like she said leave her alone and move on i dont know anymore my hope is almost completely gone. I think going no contact and getting separated was the wrong move but she wanted it so i had to let her go.

[@XiaolinHollis-pg5uf]

So we r in high school we broke up on New Year’s Eve it has been a week, I haven’t said word to her. She sounded happy when she left me bc now she can smoke and drink her problems away. Idk if no contact will work

[@kris10jay39]

My husband walked out on me and our kid on Christmas Eve. He secretly pack up his clothes and some of his belongings and texted and told me he wasn't coming home. I found out 1-2 days afterwards that he is back with his high school girlfriend. I really desperately want to save my 17 marriage with my spouse while he says he doesn't. What do I need to do to want him to come back home and end this affair he is having???? Please help me!

[@kabirjaiswal7418]

hey lee , my women broke up but still talking cold what to do ? Please help

[@aaronschmucki4911]

I am 19 years old and my 2.5 year relationship ended over 2 months ago. When she told me she lost feelings, I didn’t fight it or anything, I just let her go and I’ve been doing no contact. I never let her know “I disagree with this, I want to be with you.” I’m wondering if I should maintain no contact indefinitely or if I should reach out and let her know I’m thinking of her.

[@manash_pr0]

Don't reach out to her. She'll contact even if it takes 1 year. I had same condition. But the fault was mine, but still she reached out to me. How's it now?

[@danpreston8898]

Its been 6 weeks since my wife said she wantee to separate. Unfortunately at the time we was living with her parents as we were between rental properties, so effectively we moved in with them, then i was kicked out. Currently staying at my parents in their spare room in a different town. We also have 2 young daughters 😢 ive been trying modified no contact, but spent first few weeks chasing and feel i pushed her further away. Some days shes pleasant most completely cold. Ive suggested on a few occassions we do things together with the girls but she always has somethjng better to do. I just dont know what to do anymore

[@asotelo5432]

I’m going through the same situation..

[@Dad_Brad]

Thank you coach! I watched all the way through and gave a thumbs up as usual, even though I hope as a single guy that I will never need to use this information.

[@RealCoachLee]

I really appreciate that Brad!

[@Robin-to7od]

Coach Lee - I love your videos and this is all good advice. But every day I have less and less hope. Physically separated for 1 year - at the beginning we did still see each other occasionally but since July nothing. I have been patient and stayed away and I am doing no contact but none of this is working. I am really struggling.

[@Mejuz]

Hm, not sure if 'Marriage' or 'Dating Relationship' applies to my case. We were in an 18-year relationship when my partner met a woman he now has a casual affair with (they're not a couple, but they get together every two weeks, non-committal, but stable). We have never lived together and have no kinds; but travelled a lot, spent a lot of time together and shared a lot of values and hobbies. He's 58 and I am 54. So I am really wondering if I should stick to keeping contact low (as I have been doing since we split, and he has recently begun reaching out more, telling me he misses us and is unhappy, but nothing more) or go back to meeting regularly for talks (we split quite amicably, no fighting) . I kinda want him back, but not too soon and not while she is still around.

[@ianenn3406]

what to do, if I break no contact

[@pedrozuniga6510]

I've been separated for 3 months and I get frustrated because sometimes she'll act like she is getting feelings for me again and then she turns cold again and first I would show mine frustration but now I try to not show my feelings I'm confused and she always avoids talking so now I just go with the flow but I don't know if I'm doing the right thing.

[@jeanneo888]

What if you're not married but you've been together for almost a decade and have been living together. Do you mix a period of NC with your advices on separated couples? We're seperated but it's in so many ways a breakup. We're in NC so that he can find out if he wants a future together and if I'm the right person for him.

[@collectornick4270]

Hi Coach Lee! This is my 1st time reaching out. I've been in no contact for about 2 weeks now with my ex and going strong and now tonight out of no where she sent me a message on snapchat I waited about 10 minutes and she deleted whatever she sent. Do you think she's trying to get me to break no contact? I just left it at that and didn't ask her what she sent. This feels like a trap to me.

[@manash_pr0]

Absolutely. You did the right thing. How's is it now?

[@collectornick4270]

@manash_pr.0921 Just about a week ago, she came and got the rest of her stuff. I was in no contact for pretty much the whole 3 months. After that, she removed me from snapchat (our only way we stayed in contact), and that was it. During those 3 months, I was focusing on myself and school and getting ready to graduate college. I now no longer want her back and have started dating again. I'm currently single but have been on a few dates. NC definitely helped me move on and heal WAY faster than had I stayed in contact. These videos have helped me a lot.

[@msanonymous704]

My husband was manipulated into a separation by his parents he disappeared in the middle of the night We haven't had any contact since then and he doesn't come to our apartment it is hopeless

[@thatssojasmine.]

Some of these are hard to do because we now live in different states. I’m not sure what to say and when to say them 😭

[@RealCoachLee]

Did you get my free mini-course? Get it at www.marriageradio.com/mini-course-to-save-your-marriage/

[@NovaRaya]

I'm so confused, maybe i've made a mistake? I left because my husband broke up with me, was very negative and blaming me for everything. He said he's really angry and it was toxic for the kids and I. I've neen NC for almost 2 weeks. I'm staying with my Mum interstate with my 2 kids. We are planning on returning as my business is in the home but I really want my husband back.😢

[@karankumarofficialid]

How to not get affect by toxic friend and more smart people than person and be ur self acchive great , how ?

[@jordancollette3434]

My fiancée had an emotional affair with a past ex and I've been doing no contact for almost 2 weeks. But she was somehow signed into my social media accounts and saw conversations of me and some girls who were talking about having a 3some with me and she sent me 20 angry messages saying how gross I am and that she thought I loved her enough to make things right, even though she broke up with me. What should I do in this situation?

[@gsdkid182]

@jordancollette3434 you’re best bet is saying you don’t know how to cope with things. That you have separation anxiety and issues. That you will seek therapy and ask if she’s willing to go with you.

[@Jess-wk5jo]

I have question. Can people have affair or Cheat on someone without never never having no sex yes or no

[@RealCoachLee]

Yes. That would be what is called an emotional affair.

[@tommykempo8962]

So what happened to no contact??

[@RealCoachLee]

In a married situation it can be significantly different due to the marriage contract, shared assets, children, etc. No contact is for breakups of dating relationships and for only for marriage if the person left for another or in animosity and even then it’s most likely temporary. If two married people are still married and still living together, no contact is usually not the call.

[@prcsungmin]

@@RealCoachLeewhat about the marriage without signing a paper yet? We haven’t had children, so we haven’t done. But I’m living in his family’s house. He wants to separate but his family asked me to stay and fix. Now we’re living in separate rooms but still see each other. It’s pretty recent for a few days now. Should I do NC or follow along with these advices like married couple who signed?

[@yennyochoa]

@@RealCoachLeeliving together still, with kids. I tried to show my love, be intimate, we were texting and calling but he never brought up the “fixing our marriage” conversation or anything so I’m doing limited contact is that okay? I don’t know what else to do.