Scalise Nominated for House Speaker, Santos' 23 Felony Counts: Late Night's News of the Week

All the news and jokes you missed from the week of October 9.
Late Night with Seth Meyers. Stream now on Peacock: bit.ly/3erP2gX
Subscribe to Late Night: bit.ly/LateNightSeth
Watch Late Night with Seth Meyers Weeknights 12:35/11:35c on NBC.
Get more Late Night with Seth Meyers: www.nbc.com/late-night-with-se...
LATE NIGHT ON SOCIAL
Follow Late Night on Twitter: / latenightseth
Like Late Night on Facebook: / latenightseth
Follow Late Night Instagram: / latenightseth
Late Night on Tumblr: / latenightseth
Late Night with Seth Meyers on KZbin features A-list celebrity guests, memorable comedy, and topical monologue jokes.
GET MORE NBC
Like NBC: / nbc
Follow NBC: / nbc
NBC Tumblr: / nbctv
KZbin: / nbc
NBC Instagram: / nbc
Scalise Nominated for House Speaker, Santos' 23 Felony Counts: Late Night's News of the Week
• Scalise Nominated for ...
Late Night with Seth Meyers
/ latenightseth

[@HOLLAifYouFEARme]

I CANT GET ENOUGH OF HIS RUDY😂😂😂😂

[@whocares9033]

It's my favourite impression of his, and one of my favourites of all time 🤣🤣🤣

[@IcewaterOasis]

"Let's Google it" is a step above "Something's definitely wrong with you, but we're not sure what exactly."

[@TheUpGrayed]

Never forget, Tim Apple.

[@Sebuin]

The pure truth of the "all you had to do is order onion rings" hit me so hard I was laughing my butt off. I didn't realize that that a thing but I'm sure I'm not the only one.

[@sealyoness]

I'm supposed to be avoiding fast food for *my health*, but this was a strong push for me to do 'some research'. LOL

[@Sebuin]

Lmao, how'd it go? Whopper w/ cheese for me while your at it. @@sealyoness

[@sylvainlabbe4899]

So good 😊 thanks for being back!❤

[@Batters56]

As a Brit who’s Burger King meal of choice is a side of fries and a side of onion rings, this is great news for me. But in the UK my onion rings never contain any rogue fries. Judging by the size of the laugh , it must be pretty common in the US?

[@toober1066]

Almost always a half dozen or so.

[@kingayy9267]

The fries and rings be mingling in the States.

[@JaTjr32]

Together forever, no matter how long. From now until the end of time.

[@hannahjordan9833]

As an Aussie, I was thinking the same thing. You sometimes get a couple of chips in with the rings, but not much. I wonder why it's different in the US?

[@sealyoness]

@@hannahjordan9833 Well, dang, I'm going to have to visit Burger King to see if they'll mix their fries!

[@XopheAdethri]

I normally hate the "clip episode" videos channels do, but Seth's jokes are too funny for me to resist watching the week's summary of jokes I've already seen. You guys are THE best show of the late night talk shows.

[@cibriis1710]

I mean, this

[@benjaminzobel68]

If you actually find any of these late night hosts funny you most definitely have severe brain damage

[@rca-in-glasgow6781]

Can’t wait to see your coverage of Tommy Tubberville. Will have to replace the classic Biden clip.

[@stevene_]

CORRECTION: teen in Australia solves rubiks cube in record time while sky diving

[@patrickemmett6269]

Seth and his writers are brilliant

[@bernardwylie9760]

LA natives also got your traffic joke Seth, but yea, it flew over most of that NYC audiences’ head. But essentially, you haven’t struggled until you’ve tried to get to Santa Monica in the late afternoon on 10 or the 405 freeways, good luck 😂.

[@XopheAdethri]

I've never driven in _California_ at all, but even I know my _Living Hell_ of local traffic is a baby's cake walk compared to LA freeways.

[@sealyoness]

Try getting to your job that is just north of Ohare (yeah, I know, it ought to be O-Hell-No) when you live in Glendale Heights. We all have our traffic crosses to bear.

[@s.pottedjackal]

* on the 10. (I neither live in LA nor drive, but I've seen enough episodes of _The Californians_ to know how to refer to the 10.) (All it takes is one episode.)

[@shayboogie3682]

I can get behind “burning Scottish weather” - I loved my weeks in Scotland, but my coworker’s daughter didn’t know what to do with her time when there were 3 consecutive sunny days 😅😅😅😅😂😂😂😂😂

[@PreviouslyDelicious]

My favorite part was where you see, in one video, how short Scalise's run was. Unfortunately he was a little off on waiting till next week to see who's next.

[@wijjit]

Matt Gates image in this clip looks like an alien from the movie Bad Taste. Great movie, made by a guy from NZ. Please use this Seth!

[@user-yh1fh6wl7q]

True about onion rings

[@leannevandekew1996]

Matt Gaetz must have misunderstood when he was told people use Venmo to make minor purchases.

[@s.pottedjackal]

Again? This joke had been run into the ground on three different night time shows before you posted it here this past weak. You can do better.

[@leannevandekew1996]

@@s.pottedjackal If you don't like reading then don't.

[@leannevandekew1996]

@@s.pottedjackal Never been to a comedy club, have you. We don't write new jokes for each night; we retell the jokes dozens and hundreds of times.

[@leannevandekew1996]

@@s.pottedjackal KZbin shadow blocks most of my jokes. You see a highly filtered material.

[@leannevandekew1996]

@@s.pottedjackal Is your channel image from kindergarten or adult craft classes at the home.

[@SeattleSun2013]

Thank god you’re back!!! ❤️🧡❤️ Also- have Gov Cooper N Carolina on your show. He is awesome!!

[@Moekoffee2001]

Putin, Trump, Gaetz? This is more like “news of the bleak”

[@drjanines3301]

Lol 🤣🤣

[@FVWhimsy2010]

I worry if Ivan is a writer for Late Night...lolol.

[@frogdogink4415]

Seth, your still the best! ✨️

[@m.c.othello1980]

Seth, best Burger King joke!! Usually what happens with an order of onion rings. STILL LAUGHING!!!

[@NewMessage]

Seriously, though.. how much crazier can the world get? surely we've reached a zenith point...? I mean, I'm sure next week will make me regret this comment, but man...

[@mlynne-uc9py]

🇺🇸💙🇺🇸• Playing Catch-up on the Weekly News is So Much FUN 🤩•🇺🇸💙🇺🇸

[@Bobalicious]

Billionaires have concluded that the Earth is doomed and are planning their escape.

[@johnandersen6752]

I liked that vowels joke....when I first read it in "The Onion."

[@helenamirian908]

Right? Like 20+ years ago!

[@johnandersen6752]

@@helenamirian908Exactly. Another favorite was the headline " New Remote Control Can Be Operated By Remote." No more leaning forward to get remote from coffee table means greater convenience for TV viewers.

[@ObiWanCannabi]

you should send the writers off for another few weeks, they aint quite baked enough yet to be fair that onion ring joke did redeem someone at least lol, keep that 1

[@Jan-zv7ze]

wrong! They sound great to me!

[@Summonergeek]

The BK joke was on point!!! ROTFL

[@raymondamador1487]

"There hasn't been a speaker in years, cause everyone only votes for themselves" Pirates of the Caribbean 3

[@Vagajammer]

Not gonna lie: I thought the title said _Scallins_ nominated for House Speaker

[@darnellwilliams1139]

It’s about Evon I’ve changed my mind. Literally laughed out loud

[@emilieandie3889]

"its downhill from the onionring", not it was a bit of an onionringer? (I will see myself out)

[@Vitriol-Divergent]

The main difference between Santos and other congressmen is that Santos got caught.

[@matthewexebio2267]

Correction - Phil MURPHY would have to legalize the H instead of Kathy. The stadium is in NEW JERSEY!

[@shawnholley1206]

Dear Seth, can my band Mythological Horses please play Late Night? Pretty please

[@saturday1066]

bartime in Milwaukee starts at 6am. just saying ... that Mothers for Drunk Driving STILL can't make a dent in SummerFest reality.

[@michaelrmurphy2734]

Hunh. So that is twice today The Chris Rock-Will Smith Slap came up. The other was Sean Penn on Jimmy Kimmel. Must be close to Oscar time. You don't want to get slapped by Will Smith, don't say dumb and nasty things about Jada!

[@FVWhimsy2010]

It will never get old... but now we know the "real" emotional undercurrents involved.

[@michaelrmurphy2734]

In a way I don't blame Will Smith. How would you feel if your wife gets dissed? Not something I would do. Shaved head? Its a look, its a style. Not for me to make a crack about.

[@gnico410]

I feel like the windmill thing is a reference to Don Quixote, but more on-the-nose and ridiculous

[@LiyemEanapay]

Can someone explain the Rubik’s cube joke? It went waaay over my head

[@HermitLady]

You’re my sprite, Seth. 💞🤟

[@user-yn7yo1co3k]

Yeah, I guess that's better than "you're my root beer" which is what I always say.

[@HermitLady]

@@user-yn7yo1co3k Then I would’ve said, “You’re my Sprite, Seth.” But I didn’t. Notice my choice in capitalization. 😉

[@user-yn7yo1co3k]

@@HermitLady Even better. Thanks.

[@HermitLady]

@@user-yn7yo1co3k Are you trying to tell me you don’t know what a sprite is? 🤦‍♀️ And you’re criticizing me? Hmph 😤

[@user-yn7yo1co3k]

@verbal4188 Nah, Verbal. I liked what you said and tried to make a joke - that was poorly received. I stay away from the negative - no criticism intended.

[@mrcountdowncity1006]

RIP Ivan 🪦 😂

[@AnonymousZyx]

Should have said, “and they even offer free rolling paper!”

[@flackstar007]

May I humbly ask that you weigh in on the recent no vote outcome for Australia and how this result is interrupted by international observers. I fear that Australia is in the grips of a number of media platforms and has started down a dark path to deep seated social division. Though it would be interesting if my own take on the situation is different from the possible take presented in this show.

[@user-qf7ud5de9h]

I am only here for the onion ring jokes😅

[@imoldgreggboosh3467]

Y is a vowel . . .

[@NicksIdeaEngine]

As someone who can solve a Rubik's cube in under a minute... That Rubik's cube joke isn't wrong 🫤

[@lightningpastry2153]

Please tell me I wasn't the only one that noticed that Rubik's Cube had two red/yellow edge pieces

[@ASSamiYT]

Which president?

[@w4iph]

On Monday's joke, the reason that they need a AI-powered search function for doctors on Google is that they're writing is so messy. You can't even read the things that they type. They're hoping that AI will help with that

[@FVWhimsy2010]

Giuliani's Florida property is probably a double wide...with an above ground inflatable pool!

[@jeangriffin9969]

😂😂😂

[@LuCKyDuCKy881]

Why no captions?

[@galenkehler]

That onion ring joke was perfect, but a little too cerebral for the average viewer 😂

[@philbrown9764]

AGAIN…it’s NOT a wall. IT’S A FENCE. Walls are solid and fences aren’t.

[@scotthinze]

Correction - subs don’t sail.

[@scotthinze]

They can dive, rise, cruise, breach and navigate, but never sail.

[@-danR]

USS Snapper (SS-185) . Wikipedia 5 instances of "set sail" or "sail" USS Scorpion .Station HYPO Celebrating the Past, Present and Future of Navy Cryptology: "On May 20, 1968, the submarine set sail from Norfolk, Virginia, "

[@user-yn7yo1co3k]

​@-danR DanR - you rock! Thanks for that.

[@drjanines3301]

​@@-danRthanks for that❣️🐬🐾☀️

[@jaybuck5818]

And yet they have a sail.... 🤔

[@HOLLAifYouFEARme]

It is no longer P Whipped… it’s WILL SMITHED

[@mkirkmaclean-pp5ll]

Just what IS keeping you from having a job you are really good at ..🤣🐦‍⬛ and what the freak would that be?...😂😮😅

[@christineforbesforbes2324]

😂

[@johnpaulwirchnianski]

not pickleball?

[@encarnacionvillazana3270]

😎😎😎

[@marvinmartin4692]

republicans are really missing out on completing their crazy town , making santos the next speaker! He and trump would take the country completely down the drain!

[@drjanines3301]

Repugs are so far down the drain, they're in the septic tank

[@nickrich56]

I'm still waiting for the punchlines to get me laughing...😢

[@anastasiabeaverhausen8220]

Anybody else getting offensive right-wing propaganda 'anti-woke' ads on these video clips? You Tube algorithm ain't working for me. There's no reason I should be seeing that kind of ad if I can, indeed, 'control' what kind of ads I prefer to see. Since YT stopped me from using AdBlock I've been seeing things I would prefer not to.

[@janestarr4403]

I back Biden's decision to build a wall. The design would be better and with less graft. It will also give the Republicans one less thing to run on.

[@pkkriz8610]

BK, offering Fries and Onion Rings just like Harvey's did 20 years ago with Frings? This is the greatest new product since McD's introduced the McFlurry, just like DQ's Blizzard, but not exactly the same since a Flurry is a less severe snow storm than a Blizzard.

[@jeffb.6642]

bruh nobody but the handful of Canadians like us are going to know what Harveys even is

[@user-ck9dn5fo5t]

I'm here for Harvey's Fri gs

[@quixote5844]

Come on, Seth. Couldyoupleasetalkfaster?

[@drjanines3301]

On YT ~ u can speed up or slow down the tempo 🌻😮☀️

[@ac61900]

Bless Biden 💙 vote 💙

[@djo5773]

Damn, Meyers got a 5 head

[@tejanoj3017]

Make America Great Again... for who?

[@VoltaireOnAir]

How much does Seth have to comment about bad jokes until they finally get some better writers??

[@jeffmueller4871]

The Kyrgyzstan joke was really stupid.

[@Jan-zv7ze]

NO - YOU ARE! GET A LIFE.

[@kathymcel]

We don't need Obama.

[@Indogitrust]

you are slow

[@PocketMarmo04]

Wow. Did the Fox News KZbin channel just go down? Why are all of the Fox toilet-water-drinkers suddenly leaving comments HERE?!?!?!?

[@blavatsky7534]

Seth Meyers is a gift to comedy the same way hip dysplasia is a gift to big dogs

[@Jan-zv7ze]

YOU GUYS ARE working overtime to be so INSULTING! I love SETH and his crew! DON"T WATCH..go away.

[@PARANDROID]

these jokes are so incredibly poor written its astonishing.

[@Jan-zv7ze]

You are such a joke?? who are you? why are you so hateful? l Your mother must be soooo depressed..having spent time with you!

[@5talentgirl]

Jokes are not landing, Seth. Need better writers?

[@pango-y8j]

Never trust a commenter that can't sign their own name to their account troll

[@perevision]

Apparently writing is not one of the 5 talents, girl

[@Jan-zv7ze]

CONTRE - the jokes are GREAT! You all are so spoiled! What about the frog joke, come on??

[@5talentgirl]

@@pango-y8j It's because I get comments like this that I stopped! People can be so needlessly rude.

[@5talentgirl]

@@perevision Because?

[@ygordin1]

I am deeply saddened and dissaponited by your shows response to the vile and awful terror attack in Israel. This was the worst terrorist attack in history, it's been a week since it happened and you only mention it in passing to use it as a segue to laugh at Trumps responses to it?!? I realize the Middle East conflict is complex, difficult and very not funny, but as a show that does have some pretense of covering meaningful events how can you skim by such a terrible situation? Women, children, babies and elderly civilians where murdered in their homes and others kidnapped to the Gaza strip and held as hostages. doesn't that warrant more attention than Santos` felony counts?

[@booster815]

[@Alwsmith]

Seth you’ve almost become unwatchable, you gave these guys a raise?

[@pango-y8j]

Never trust a commenter that can't sign their own name to their account troll

[@FVWhimsy2010]

We care about the opinion of someone going by the account name @DumbAmerican67 why???

[@brucestaples4510]

@@pango-y8j It's Alan Smith...maybe...

[@drjanines3301]

He calls himself dumb....so ..

[@drjanines3301]

Not Seth's decision... Writers agreed on contracts ~ not the moderator alone

[@magicalmysteryschool4714]