Scapegoat Child's hope: The 'Exciting Object' parent

To see the full-length form of this video go here: • Why Scapegoat Survivor...
Freeing yourself from the idea that you are a product of narcissistic abuse is an important step on the path towards healing.
After watching this video AND if you’re ready to learn more…
Accelerate your recovery journey today by getting a FREE Copy of my eBook, learn 4 Ways Adult Scapegoat Survivors Can Heal
Click HERE -- lp.jreidtherap...
?KZbin&Video&KZbin-Shorts-Description&Scapegoat_Child's_hope:_The_'Exciting_Object'_parent"

[@jreid-heal-narcissistic-abuse]

To see the full-length form of this video go here: kzbin.info/www/bejne/r6vMiZWDbLl7q7s

[@b-six-twelve]

This helps me realize why I experienced such anxiety, sadness, despair and loneliness despite being with the parent I thought was “safe” (who was less scary than the rageful, alcoholic parent, but had problems of their own).

[@thatyoungbuck]

I'm finding that this compartment is a warren and filled with secret doors where i keep discovering that I'm unconsciously (still) waiting for my parent to 'understand' or 'wake up' and love me in the way I have loved them. Very sad but something I can now realise is there (over and over) and can close up (over and over). Stay in reality and pursue the love of oneself ❤ you'll have your back far better than your parent ever ever will.

[@fancynancymacy]

I have learned through therapy that I can give that child the loving parent I never had. I am learning how that child gets my attention and I then turn to her and validate her feelings and comfort her and let her know that she does not have to handle whatever is overwhelming her that I as the adult will handle the situation and she can relax.

[@IngaCombs]

Thank you for your valuble help

[@ddgamble2199]

Oh, boy, this hits me right in the "feelies"😢

[@poonamkhanna3383]

Thanks for this informative video. Pls make video on how to make the scapegoat adult child aware of the Narcissistic abuse, coz my husband is scapegoat child and he doesn't want to accept the truth that his mother is doing everything deliberately and ruining my relationship with my husband.

[@valeriewhitcomb10]

I am so sorry you found yourself in this painful situation.

[@frogvuwt]

Show him these videos. Give him a choice, wake up with you or without you. 😊 Pray for him.

[@jessebelanger9753]

Thanks Jay. You're one of the most counter-shaming KZbinrs on this subject.

[@michelepascoe6068]

I kept hoping for acceptance into my 50s, and trying so hard to please my mother. She died rejecting me and left 2 more rejection messages for me to receive through others later. Some mothers can't love. Let go of false hope ... and learn about healthy personal boundaries.

[@SuziQ.]

I’m 61. She recently told me that she’s not giving me the equal share of the family trust that my dad set up. I’m not surprised that she changed the trust, but I am surprised that she told me about it, like we were discussing the garden. No emotion. No reason.

[@michelepascoe6068]

@@SuziQ. it's sad. My mother kept me totally in the dark, though I was her only daughter. She told me when I was young that I would not inherit anything, but it still wasn't nice to hear that she'd discussed behind my back how to cut me out of her will. Other relatives apparently said not to, so she left all to her husband of ten years, following which whatever is left will be divided between her grandchildren and me in equal parts. Oh well, if it made her feel powerful, that's okay. I expected nothing anyway. A large inheritance could not make up for not being loved by one's mother.

[@SuziQ.]

@@michelepascoe6068 , Isn’t it odd that they can talk about us, but we aren’t allowed to have voices? You’re right that the money can’t make up for not having a real mother. I thought my dad was the worst, until after he died. She eventually remarried, and trained the next one to hate me before he met me. She’s working on my sister, BIL, niece, and nephew to keep me scapegoated. I recently was reminded of a past I never had. That was a shock, but it shouldn’t have been. I know her games. Her `owners manual’ is the book “How to Win Friends and Influence People”. I hope you have your own safe place.

[@SuziQ.]

Thank you!

[@aimzjane3548]

Sound like me, my mother was never there, people said I would do anything to gain my mother's love. I then projected it onto my step mother, thinking she was a great mother role model. As an adult I realised she was never a mother figure, she was just doing what my dad asked her to. Any time there was a chance to step up as a step parent just for us, she was never there. Like when we went camping, dad had to go back home early and she chose to go back eith him and get my grandmother to stay with us at the camp site for the remaining holiday. No real mother would do that to their child/children

[@SuziQ.]

Was the grandmother not better? Mine was. We also got shipped off to camp, which was usually fun. I still don’t know how my mom came from my grandparents. She’s a monster, and they were so kind and loving.

[@fergustheragamuffin5091]

Until they realize what was happening and snaps back and disassociates with the family out of self preservation. I am a Scapegoat Child.

[@marjoriemartinez9973]

Never felt safe ever, iam now 55 yrs old 😢

[@fancynancymacy]

where is my comment?????

[@SuziQ.]

It’s the 6th right now. I liked it. It hit me hard that I, at 61, have to become my own mother, while still being abused by the birth mother (I limit contact, but there is some, due to adult grandchildren).

[@siku2391]

The assumption that the parent is "incapable" is overly defensive of the parent's choices.

[@SuziQ.]

Do you mean because they appear to love others, like their spouse or their golden child or their grandchildren?