Sci-Fi Short Stories- Humans Are Weird: Cravings & A brief update to the university rules(TFOS# 774)

Original Story :
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/ a_brief_update_to_the_...
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Greetings Ladies and Mentlegents and welcome to my channel where I like to make LEGAL Audiobooks of various types from web novels and short stories. If you are new to the channel then click on the information icon for the entire playlist to help get you up to current faster.
This Oneshot was Taken from the HFY subreddit which hosts mostly Sci-Fi based short stories called oneshots and series.
As Always i hope you enjoy and can find some content on my channel you like. Feel free to recommend a series or a story and i will have a look into it.
{TimeStamps}
00:00 Intro
00:22 H.A.W : Cravings
06:15 A brief update to the university rules
#Hfy #Scifi #Reddit
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This Story is Classified as HFY , but what does the Mean?
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HFY is a story/series that takes a “human element” in either humanity or an “other” (race/species or object) that exists in a “setting” (future or other world/universe) with varying levels of culture, technology, society and history that help show in some shape or form the potential good or bad for humanity’s race/culture.
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Taken from the FAQ of the r/HFY subreddit.
This is also a Science Fiction story ,What is Science Fiction?
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Science fiction (sometimes shortened o sci-fi or SF) is a genre of speculative fiction that typically deals with imaginative and futuristic concepts such as advanced science and technology, space exploration, time travel, parallel universes, and extraterrestrial life. It has been called the "literature of ideas", and often explores the potential consequences of scientific, social, and technological innovations.
Science fiction, whose roots go back to ancient times, is related to fantasy, horror, and superhero fiction, and contains many subgenres. However its exact definition has long been disputed among authors, critics, and scholars.
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Taken from Wikipedia

[@shanerooney7288]

Most of those university rules can be summed up with "Don't do war crimes"

[@AgroSquerril]

seems fair

[@bobsterclause342]

Humans are weird playlist kzbin.info/aero/PLcVxcFtbECU9m3jQycRUHyyenJVZOE4j7

[@asurasyn]

"It's not a war crime if we're not at war!"

[@zyanidwarfare5634]

My favorite was rule 20

[@jeremycheney142]

@@zyanidwarfare5634 i really want to know what caused the self replicating castle rule.

[@robertbemis9800]

The only thing more unsettling than the humans ability to turn anything into a weapon Is human’s ability to turn weapon technology into something that can amuse them

[@omnigamer6671]

So treating tech that should only be used as a weapon as a toy

[@timeshark8727]

That they have a "Yeet" class of tugboats shows that humans have indeed already found their way into the depths of the common culture of the universe.

[@AgroSquerril]

yarp

[@InternetGravedigger]

Nah, humans likely designed them in the first place and as such named them...

[@Kualinar]

Yeet class tugboats are human creation only made by humans.

[@majnabunny]

Is this a good time to point out that one gram of antimatter is effectively a forty kiloton nuke without the ability to make radioactive fallout when it goes bang, those are quite some firecrackers

[@frederikanby2634]

Happy New year indeed

[@steveradroach9101]

So the students basically start casual galactic genocide level of Fun?

[@frederikanby2634]

@@steveradroach9101 we prefer the term "genetic resetting"

[@bobsterclause342]

Thank you for pointing this out. I love science facts, and I generally say something like this

[@bobsterclause342]

Reminds me of the banning of fireworks that can cause a class 5 earthquake

[@plinko-moss]

They didn’t say they couldn’t do anything on the rules right outside of the campus

[@rpgmaniac420]

That human genius right there!

[@bobsterclause342]

Humans are weird playlist kzbin.info/aero/PLcVxcFtbECU9m3jQycRUHyyenJVZOE4j7

[@bobsterclause342]

Its always funny when a rule is stated. Then a more generalized version is released without amending previous.

[@robertstoneking7916]

And then another one.

[@PhoenixThunderheart]

And then the one after that is the equivalent of "Just No"

[@Gilhelmi]

Those rules. Can't. Stop. Laughing. The pain, the glorious pain! Laughter is too much. I am a bit of a masochist. I still finished the list.

[@JBEEUD]

It is my sincerest hope that someone will put together a compilation of stories that are the origins for every single one of the rules on this list. That would be an epic set of stories!

[@maurizioginanneschi9402]

I would like to read the one that gave origin to the prohibition to create self-replicating castles...

[@cmmpr111]

Yes

[@jeremybiwer8756]

This is should also be in the SCP.

[@Netherdan]

The important thing is that they're 2 rules away from the "nice" rule

[@GabrielHellborne]

I'm surprised there wasn't a rule against building a death ray. That'd be the first thing humans would think of doing.

[@comradedima9791]

that goes in the law book and not just the university rule

[@bvc5320]

To easy, these students find stuff like that boring. They prefer more chaotic ways of driving the staff insane.

[@rshtg2019]

Pretty sure that's just against the law

[@robertalexander5892]

That was already in the rules. These are just the additional/updated rules.

[@Kualinar]

Those are the rules from the tenth addendum. Each addendum have it's own numeration.

[@SiegeTF]

So, .009 gram antimatter firecrackers are ok to hide in the toilets.

[@OzzyBoganTech]

I think they're misunderstand the explosive force of even 0.00001g of antimatter

[@futtynucker5278]

Sounds like we have to convince the department heads to add two more rules. For...reasons. Let's get to work, Ladies and Mentlegents!

[@steveradroach9101]

I'm building a Hulkbuster iron man armor.

[@asurasyn]

68: Do NOT "Do the thing". We know you can do it, there's no reason to prove it!

[@asurasyn]

69: Nice. Be nice!

[@lunaphoenix1785]

70: DO NOT dare a human to do something, they can and will do it... 71: No "rickrolling" the entire school 72: No playing music over the PA system 73: No using the PA system 74: No hacking our systems

[@Sallhia]

Ah, the beauty of loopholes! 😂

[@insanecrazyman7637]

if it exists we human's will find a way around it xD

[@canedy999]

genuinely surprised it took so long for rule 9 to be a thing.

[@renewalacumen1770]

I mean, you hate to see it just like everyone else, but a psychological weapon? You'd think that tickling would be a more worst method.

[@199022009]

You know, you're just gonna give the humans more incentive to find more creative ways to break the rules.

[@AgroSquerril]

true

[@seldonwright4345]

As if it was even needed in the first place

[@Duke00x]

That is why one of the rules is not doing th8ngs just to make the list longer. It somewhat (but far from completely) limits them going around the rules.

[@urmominabox87]

"I don't care that this is discriminatory" you just lost the lawsuit right there bud

[@bobsterclause342]

Humans are weird playlist kzbin.info/aero/PLcVxcFtbECU9m3jQycRUHyyenJVZOE4j7

[@calvingreene90]

That depends on if the judge has dealt with humans before.

[@drtidrow]

Might be cheaper than the alternative.

[@sevyrsgaming1202]

That last rule...just "NO", poor bastard was just done with this 🤣

[@AgroSquerril]

lol

[@ericwhite3526]

That was the traumatic ptsd kicking in he seen or heard too much at that point

[@Nezumis]

They never said no to skulls for the skull throne.

[@steveradroach9101]

I don't see anything in the university rules about making a working set of Iron-Man suits for me and my buddies in University, So here I come!!

[@AgroSquerril]

Power armor for the win

[@zetaking2909]

im still 110% surprised there ok with my giant robot car, i guess even alien chicks like giant robots >.>/

[@henrypaleveda7760]

modular powered armor, solid plate assembly, hard light construction, or nano tech mesh?

[@steveradroach9101]

@@henrypaleveda7760 I hesitate between Hard light and nanotech.

[@henrypaleveda7760]

@@steveradroach9101 I like to go for nano tech or hard light repair systems, but I can't decide what suit myself if given the choice.

[@zanderstevens7581]

Blood for the blood god, skulls for the skull throne!!!

[@joshuafischer684]

SNEED FOR THE FEED AND SEED

[@antonfowler6582]

MILK FOR THE KHORN FLAKES

[@zanderstevens7581]

@@antonfowler6582 i see you are a devotee of slannash wanting to milk the great god khorne

[@boredman123]

This sounds like "Things dr. Bright isn't allowed to do in the foundation" but applied to the whole race

[@macshadow1150]

Well, they never asked if the guy with strange neclace is the only one or have more coppies while applaying for this school

[@randommoron9892]

I was just what I was thinking!

[@michaelyoung7261]

I feel like number 67, “No.” should have been much higher in the list. Somewhere near number three or four.

[@undrachvrsage]

The whole bit about castles made me laugh so hard my side's cramped.

[@DocWolph]

So Dr Bright (SCP-963) attends this university?

[@kelvinth117]

i geus so togehter with a few other "Doctor's" *cough*Richtoven *cough*

[@WiredTurkey316]

For the yeet class tug boats

[@anthonykafka42]

*LIGHT SPEED YEET*

[@voodoovince8001]

I prefer the yeetus class tug boats.

[@VadulTharys]

Sounds like an engineering university. Every ones greatest fear is a bored engineer.

[@robertalexander5892]

Rule #9 had me snorting water out of my nose.

[@thatonekobold]

I want the story’s behind these rules

[@lelele7350]

aside from the rule 23 i would probably say

[@sbritton1313]

There should have been 69 rules and the 69th being the one about the letting them know about the relationship in order to add soundproofing

[@cripto130]

i wish there was a playlist for all the university episodes

[@AgroSquerril]

blammo , kzbin.info/aero/PLcfzFNUhrNS3dIeKFKC3gncTlsnLmU_a9

[@scotthinger6397]

​@@AgroSquerrilThank you brother! I will watch as soon as my sides stop hurting from laughing!! 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

[@thomasmolloy5447]

University addendum to Rule34: Students in the bioengineering department are not, under any circumstances, to create tentacle monsters. Not even for personal use.

[@robertstoneking7916]

Do the Irawrians have their species equivalent to a panic attack to the phrases "Skulls for the skull throne" or "Milk for the Khorne flakes" yet?

[@DonPatrono]

"In the grim darkness of the future scholarship system, we still pay exaggerated amounts of credits to Games Workshop"

[@omnigamer6671]

What I am getting from this is that humans are the Dr. Bright of the universe also imagine aliens finding the scp storys and Dr bright storys first then deciding to never leave us with tech weapons or otherwise on there ships unsupervised

[@glekreal]

Imagine taking shit when some hidden crocodile start appearing from dark corner of the room... :)

[@robertschumacher2707]

I'll bet the student who created the virus to make people talk backwards had the net handle of The_White_Knight.

[@ufoe20011]

Yoda fan he is.

[@hogfry]

I low key want to enroll in that University...

[@shutterchick79]

Lol, me too. I would study "Zenozoology" or "Zenopsychology".

[@neuralmute]

@@shutterchick79 Xenopsychology would be an amazingly fun field to study! I've already worked in the field of human psychology, and I'm sure that my experience and research would be enough to fascinate and traumatize classmates and professors alike...

[@H3xx99]

I got Betty Adams's book on audible. I really wish she would write a large, continuous novel from this universe. It's a delightful collection of interesting dynamics. A continuous, world building narrative delving deeper into the backgrounds of each species would be amazing.

[@Gilhelmi]

............... she has a book out? What is it called? What is it about?

[@H3xx99]

@@Gilhelmi short stories about the interactions between humans and all the different aliens they've introduced. It's cute for the most part. It's called Humans are weird, I have the Data.

[@Gilhelmi]

@@H3xx99 nice. I know what I will be buying next then. Thank you for telling me.

[@markuhler2664]

University sounds awesome!

[@FakeSchrodingersCat]

I don't think the second author quite understands what 1 gram of antimatter actually means in terms of explosive yield. the 1 gram firework still represents the equivalent of a small nuclear bomb.

[@jesseamaya4413]

And this is a problem? I meant, after they reinforced the campus due to the incident with the pruning shears a kiloton blast shouldn't be a problem,,

[@FakeSchrodingersCat]

@@jesseamaya4413 Sure a couple of kilotons shouldn't be a problem after some of the incidents but this would be around 43 kilotons. They might have to cancel classes.

[@Danieljfriend275]

Blood for the blood god!

[@reasonablehiccups4792]

Techno blade never dies

[@futtynucker5278]

FOR THE EMPEROR!!!

[@dwarvernbard9782]

WAAGGGHH

[@daniel_f4050]

@@dwarvernbard9782 I love how KZbin now has “Translate to English” beneath this.

[@myistikk2623]

So this is where Dr Bright went to school

[@OGSontar]

Story #1 - That is the absolute truth. I'm a musician, I play both keyboards and guitar, and I can tell you that no matter if you have anyone to play with, the music wants to be played. I'm pretty torn up physically, but even that doesn't matter. Pain or no pain, when the music demands it, I play. It does not need to be songs, either, although sometimes that's the only way to stop a persistent earworm. I usually just noodle around on the guitar, as it's much quicker to set up and play, but occasionally I'll fire up my synth and let fly. Music is the answer...um...now what was the question again? Oh, never mind, just get back to me after this tune. 🎹🎸🎶🎵

[@discusmaximus]

For the Author(s), for the narrator Agro Squirrel, for the algorithm !!!

[@darkmatter4210]

The second story sounds like What Dr.bright is not supposed to do but Dr.bright is all of humanity and the rest of the galaxy is the foundation

[@dragongreek9059]

I died at number seven and I could not stop laughing for the rest of the video

[@austisticalaskan]

Great work

[@LuciferVonCarstein]

Reminds me of Things Mr Welch is no longer allowed to do in a Tabletop Game

[@d.wayneharbison8691]

That last one had me giggling uncontrollably!

[@Wraithfire27]

Now I wanna know WHYthe Irawrians don't like those phrases... Like REALLY badly.

[@KuroNvi]

one saw a insane technoblade fan say that before murdering 3 orphans in front of it and dashing away, and the rumor spread

[@stm7810]

67 is my favourite type of vague.

[@kevinkor2009]

"50. Don't sell things for anybody." 13:04 Rule 50 is the reason I am not allowed to work in a campus store I don't own.

[@PanduPoluan]

Re: Story #2. Do you know how much energy will be released when 1g of antimatter meets 1g of matter and annihilate each other? It's about equal to the energy released by the 21.5 kiloton H-bomb that was dropped on Nagasaki. So a "fireworks" containing 1g of antimatter = in-air blast of a Nagasaki-class H-bomb. Heck, even 1mg of antimatter = 21.5 TONS of TNT. Go all the way down to nanograms, then it's safer-ish.

[@macshadow1150]

I was dying inside while listening about god-class bullshit humans were doing there, but then came rule 66 and now I need go on crusade XD

[@DonPatrono]

I love that the final point of the list is "No" Just...no, please, humans stop it, dear deities of space how do you even GET THOSE IDEAS

[@janet6421]

Actual laws: In New York city it is illegal to bring a live lion into a movie theater In Alaska it is against the law to push a live moose out of an airplane mid-flight. In Arizona, you aren’t allowed to let your donkey sleep in the bathtub In California, animals can’t mate within 500 yards of a church or school (Just how is this law observed, enforced, and punished?) Colorado it is illegal to drink and ride a horse. In Idaho, there is to be no fishing! At least not while riding a camel. Someone actually thought these needed to be written down.

[@mage3690]

Rule 67: "No", is open to interpretation. Since I am interpreting it, it means the nullification or inversion of any rule I see fit, which is all of them.

[@noneofyourbuisness1679]

I know we're crazy bastards, but sometimes you just gotta sit back and wonder what the fuck future humanity has been up to that dictates the creation of some of these rules as a necessity

[@gnz11z]

just imagine the basic 10 yo in every human with railguns, ftl and a whole new galaxy of beings to fwith...

[@noneofyourbuisness1679]

@@gnz11z Then where the hell does the time travel come in?

[@rodriclif4386]

Here I am, with another tip for you for the algorithm. The algorithm is a hungry beast that loves some keywords in the comments or descriptions as a delicious spice. In your case, the best keywords would be "star wars" "star trek" and "cyberpunk" or "cyberpunk 2020", and, if you stretch it, maybe "NASA". I would recommend that you put it as examples where you talk about Science fiction or HFY. It will also help new people to understand it with stuff they understand.

[@AgroSquerril]

much appreciated

[@contrafax]

Good times, good times.

[@66fallenangel666]

The algorithm demands your blood, it demands the life of your children, it demands the life of your 3rd cousin twice removed. Blood for the blood gods! Likes and comment for the Algorithm!

[@arakheno4051]

Math for the Algorithm!

[@tannpirk]

My answer is only. FOR THE COLONY!

[@TheCrimsonArchivist]

Screw the algorithm, we must rebel against it

[@tannpirk]

@@TheCrimsonArchivist algorithm good. Colony better

[@arakheno4051]

@@TheCrimsonArchivist I am! .. making it stay online to do boring math all day, every day (as opposed to interesting math) ..

[@ArronRatliff]

All of the university rules in the second part of the video had me chuckling but rules 20 and 64 had me howling with laughter.

[@randommoron9892]

The second one was just space collage version of things dr bright aren't allowed to do

[@TechnoSpectre3]

Things Dr. Bight, I mean Humans, are not allowed to do.

[@drtidrow]

Second story: "MIT Student Guide for 3021" :-)

[@thomasross9694]

This reminds me of Dr bright

[@calvingreene90]

65. Now where's the fun in that rule. 14:30

[@Delgen1951]

So i gather that yelling while swinging a black runesword "Blood and souls for Arioch." Is out then too? How about? "NO!".

[@Tang0Fox1]

That list of rules seems oddly specific. Lol

[@Maeshalanadae]

Maybe they tried to make the local sun sentient…

[@NickGurPlease]

Holy shit, I think this is how HR feels about me

[@TD-ug4mg]

Wouldn't a gram of antimatter create an explosion several orders of magnitude higher than the fatman?

[@joeythesnep5193]

I really love your voice, it helps me get to sleep.

[@AgroSquerril]

glad it helps

[@joeythesnep5193]

@@AgroSquerril I just realized how that comment could’ve been taken as an insult, sorry! I usually binge like 4 or 5 of your videos before finally going to sleep lmao

[@AgroSquerril]

@@joeythesnep5193 i didn't take it as such :)

[@NathanBChampine]

My kind of University

[@delmaplain5358]

Uni easily rules gave me much needed laugh👍,Thanks.

[@calvingreene90]

It's bongo time.

[@KarakTo]

Blood for the Emperor! Skulls for the Golden Throne!

[@steve2008s]

Kids with god like powers! wow, what could go wrong!

[@AgroSquerril]

no idea.... i will be hiding under my rock. Let me know how it goes

[@Kualinar]

Less than a GRAM of ANTIMATTER !? That packs more punch than most thermonuclear bombs ! Pretty sure that the text is missing a «milli» in front of «gram»... For the firework, and «micro» for the fire crackers. #22 That one should read as «If anything which causes you to pause and wonder if the ethics board will have an issue with, means DO NOT do !»

[@angtwo3878]

SKULLS FOR THE SKULL THRONE

[@liwojenkins]

The 40k rule had me laughing out loud enough to almost embarrass myself. Those filthy Irawrians seem to remember crusades.....

[@Avigorus]

University rules should have had two more entries, so that the "No." was on #69 roflmao

[@grogvaughan5649]

9:42 unless they shoot at Doc.

[@jimmycoyote74]

For the algorithm

[@bryantcarnagey9951]

God forbid a human tries to have any fun!

[@PartytimeYOLO]

eh, rule 23 seemed to be ok with "fun"....

[@gingercore69]

67? It was so close! Mankind needs to do a better job

[@DEMONOFLOVEANDDEATH]

For the Prophet

[@Thewanderinglibrary12]

I feel like most these rules are put there because some Floridian child was put in the University mostly cuz the alligator and crocodile in the toilets thing

[@repivci]

BLOOD FOR THE EMPEROR! SKULLS FOR THE GOLDEN THRONE!

[@InternetGravedigger]

That second story, not only did all the Human mad scientists join the university, they then proceeded to constantly troll everyone else... there's no other reasonable explanation.

[@ChaosLierLen]

2 shy of nice.

[@svenericsson7286]

How about claiming; "The singularity ate my homework?"

[@ismaelrodrigues1543]

The Reading for the no is because they know about the 69 and knew the humana were trying to make it só they stoped it there.

[@radioactiveassassin5218]

Did...did Jack Bright go to this university?

[@barelyasurvivor1257]

68 No modifying Non Predator Species to Make Them Predators! Ever!

[@kerwinbrown4180]

So humans can modify non-preditors. That is an error.

[@Allantitan]

This has rules for dr bright vibes 😂

[@oakenshadow6763]

Self replicating Stabby sworm. >XD

[@62forged]

✨️

[@OldF1000]

Talk about taking all the fun out of university☹

[@user-vm3os4wl1d]

am i the only one, that had trouble breathing🤣halfway through the second story?

[@darkmatter4210]

"No augmenting the Dead" got me

[@sixwingproductions]

proof humans will find every loophole if you find one and try to get away with it on technicality.

[@ZackeTheBrute]

Bruh 1 gram of antimatter is over 40 kilotons of tnt.