Sci-Fi Short Stories - We Only Need One & We Only Needed Two (R/HFY TFOS# 755)

[@Emps597thADR]

First mistake: you left two of us alive 2nd mistake: you let your scientists believe we were non sentient 3rd mistake: those two you left alive? They're Marines and you gave the the ability to clone more Marines

[@KevinTarka]

4th mistake: They let the marines run out of crayons.

[@Emps597thADR]

@@KevinTarka in all fairness I realize #2 is a bit of stretch for a majority of Marines

[@chrislaf89]

@@KevinTarka They destroyed the crayon factory....that's the bigger mistake

[@bkane573]

5th mistake. They left an officer with a babysitter Alive.

[@ADerpyReality]

You were made in gods image... God happens to be a pair of marines.

[@alexs5814]

"Seriously, Patricia?" "You knew it was a joke when i proposed a quick shag but did you REALLY need to clone the entirety of the human race back into existence just to spite me?" "Not even if we're the only two humans left in the galaxy, MY ASS!"

[@Gilhelmi]

This comment right here made me laugh. A glorious joke.

[@alexs5814]

@@Gilhelmi Thank you for the kind words.

[@DonPatrono]

"Sarge, I have a plan so that we can repopulate the Earth" "Uhhh, right Major" *Starts to unzip pants "...Sarge, you try and undo another of your buttons, and I'll sock you so hard in the mouth you'll have to *frappe your frigging crayons to eat them* we clear on that devil dog?" "Rah ma'am" *zips fly back

[@alexs5814]

@@DonPatrono this is also a possibility^^

[@sam2x13]

That's pretty bad when she dislikes you so much that she'll make clones and have sex with them instead of you.

[@GrimpakTheMook]

Ah yes, outnumbered, or in other words, more targets.

[@Allantitan]

And more…..fun playing with our food muhahaha

[@Talon1124]

More commonly known as a target rich environment.

[@Caldoric]

@@Talon1124 I was gonna say that myself

[@admiralglenn2323]

@@Talon1124 why must all the good replies be taken already.

[@tonyreaver2627]

The US ARMY Rangers have a saying. We are not surrounded we have them right where we want them

[@D3vious113]

"Well, we're the last two humans left." "Don't tell me; entire hostile galaxy?" "Yep." "Bunch of freaks want to put us in a zoo?" "Most likely." "...bring it on."

[@Mizurunne]

Booohooohooo yaaaaaa

[@junkercitizen229]

I'm going to turn the aliens into fleas, harmless little fleas, then ill put those fleas in a box then put that box in another box then I'll mail that box to myself and when it arrives hahaha I'LL SMASH IT WITH A HAMMER!

[@Amoth_oth_ras_shash]

@@junkercitizen229 nice... found a new web name yzma ,how's the council gig going ?

[@dravenrogers7040]

I think I know what the translation error was it was set on squirrel

[@StarForgers]

@@Mizurunne OOH RAAAAAAA!

[@monstergeek3611]

"mom, i think i joined a cult" PRAISED BE THE ALGORITHM

[@AgroSquerril]

lol....For the algorithm

[@voodoovince8001]

Aliens when outnumbered 4 to 1: we must surrender now. Humans outnumbered 50 to 1: *SWITCHES ALL WEPONS TO FULL AUTO*

[@AgroSquerril]

rip and tear

[@alexs5814]

Excellent! Now we can advance in every direction!

[@McSenkel]

Bayonets on rifles boys!

[@veryangryduckpl2122]

@@AgroSquerril Until it's covered in ketchup.

[@alexanderzhmurov9624]

_Great news everyone, we don't even need to bother to aim to hit targets now_ _That makes it a lot simpler_

[@redraptorx1066]

humans: *get dropped to 2 people* aliens: *try and put them in a zoo* [200 years later] humans: *blast the old isengard theme as they pull an uno revers card* aliens: why do i hear foreboding music?!

[@AgroSquerril]

Alien : why am i wearing brown pants?

[@Allantitan]

@@AgroSquerril aliens: and a red shirt

[@MyrdinAnnoth]

"Hunt them down! Do not stop until they are found! You do not know fear, you do not know pain. You will taste alien flesh!"

[@hrushikeshsawant6193]

We come we come with roll of drum s da rum darum da rum da rum

[@nargalda773]

humans dont need a zoo, they have doom boss music

[@Moples223]

"We're back"... Only "We know you're out there, and we're coming for you" from "The Gift of Mercy" gave me more goosebumps.

[@stepans20]

"Let he who questions our peace loving ways drown in blood, for our forgiveness shall be merciless."

[@markuhler2664]

Will look for it

[@Access.Denied]

@@stepans20 Did you write that yourself? I ask because that's such a badass line.

[@stepans20]

@@Access.Denied Its a translation from russian. I think the original quote is from the STALKER games, but i cant be too sure.

[@ladymecha8718]

In these stories, it definitely tells the fire of humanity’s vengeance, need only start with an Amber, to become a firestorm across the stars.

[@stevenswenson7041]

Amber is a red-head I take it :) 😝

[@seldonwright4345]

Cloning Marines? Improved ones? They gonna pay the piper.

[@gretor5114]

I’d like a video game series or a movie with this as the premise. It’s like mass effect, if the first contact war went horribly wrong.

[@florianricquart4114]

You could easily make this into three games at least : a survival game for the events of the last Humans, a city-building game, but larger (maybe even a planet "building" game) for the 200 year period, and a RTS game for the revenge assault.

[@tix2260]

@@florianricquart4114 that’s actually genius

[@sethfischer7368]

Stellaris

[@calvingreene90]

They are lucky that each planet didn't simply receive a relativistic rock.

[@AgroSquerril]

kersplato

[@jorgecarreras4214]

Relativistic? That slow? Why not an FTL rock?

[@calvingreene90]

@@jorgecarreras4214 Because you can't do FTL inside this universe and I want them to have a few minutes of Terror seeing it coming.

[@ravenouself4181]

@@jorgecarreras4214 Where would be the fun in giving them quick deaths?

[@vaunkillion262]

Sir we're surrounded, "Ah good, a target rich environment"

[@AgroSquerril]

lol

[@cgi2002]

I prefer the other version "Sir were surrounded. Ah good, they can't escape us now".

[@nvfury13]

“Sir, we are surrounded.” “Oh good, no chance of hitting friendlies. Fire at Will!”

[@theengagedfew]

@@nvfury13 "No need yet for exceptional aim, so 'Spray and Pray' it is!"

[@WanitaLund]

Okay - you CAN'T tell me that they didn't just skip calling it the academy and called it E.M.M.A

[@robertshank9778]

For the Algorithm... You ever think about doing a collaboration with Net Narrator? Would be cool to hear you two in a conversation heavy story... And if you have and I missed it, sorry 😝

[@AgroSquerril]

at this point i haven't done a colab with anyone. Something to think about though

[@markfergerson2145]

I sincerely hope not. That guy talks too fast (I have to slow him down to 75%, sometimes 50%) and he slurs consonants too much.

[@sewpungyow5154]

@@markfergerson2145 I put both of them on 2.5x speed idk what you're talking about

[@keilet]

Brilliant. The ultimate "fuck around and find out."

[@SMAKKEL]

Aliens: You are surrounded! Humans: All I am surrounded by is fear and death aliens!

[@badjer4328]

FOR THE HORDE! So this is the story of how the human race became a militaristic Terran order

[@chadman3881]

these stories were kick ass!!

[@AgroSquerril]

glad you liked

[@ADerpyReality]

The big cats definitely would leave the zoos if fences weren't electrified. Hell I once saw a tiger testing the edges trying to find weaknesses. Then it took a nap in its rainforest enclosure.

[@simoncox6843]

i think that would make a good film

[@normiesalvador1854]

This was a good pair of stories.

[@AgroSquerril]

glad you enjoyed

[@bkane573]

What bad luck to let two Americans of Scots-Irish decent stay alive.

[@merlinathrawes746]

Fools! You left Humans alive, armed, with a cloning unit, a ship and a GRUDGE! I wonder what happens next? Fool us once and you'll never get the chance to fool us a second time.

[@kalskirata42]

There's something to be said about coining back up after stepping on a landmine that's supposed to leave no trace

[@MyrdinAnnoth]

So they went the Warhammer 40K route, but chickened out at the very end. They should have finished the job and eliminate the vile Planac species entirely. I guess being wiped out to 2 last remaining humans in the universe wasnt enough of a intencive to tie the loose ends.

[@Elyseon]

On the contrary. The survivors will be living in constant abject terror that they might come back to finish the job.

[@theengagedfew]

Can't even disagree with you. If I'm one of the Two, my descendants will burn the Planac from the stars. We WILL NOT share a universe with them!

[@judgegiant8951]

Aliens: "you are surrounded and outnumbered, surrender or die. We await your response". Humans: "FIll YOUR HANDS YOU SON OF A BITCH!"

[@bradwolf07]

Great Story... these aliens done GOOFED UP and the galaxy is going to learn what a BAD IDEA that was

[@blackfire3744]

Poetic justice or tragic irony?

[@WritingNomad-PL]

poetic irony

[@xessq1]

revenge is a dish best served in space

[@leadingauctions8440]

It is excellent to see an update to this story.

[@kurtismiller9544]

For the Algorithm! Managed to catch the premier today Agro, usually I am sleeping. Was a GOOD one to catch!🤘👍👌👽 H F Y!!!!!

[@AgroSquerril]

Glad you enjoyed

[@mattbrown5511]

They didn't have to worry about shooting friendlies. Bad news for everyone that was not human.

[@draconus15]

Ah vengence in all its beautiful glory

[@murphycunningham2465]

Now that's gun control Be the one in control of the Gun

[@whowhat4573]

Great story line! Algorithm be pleased.

[@AgroSquerril]

For the algorithm!

[@micanikko]

For the algorithm! Im on a binge watch again lol

[@AgroSquerril]

For the algorithm and nice!

[@hydrogenone6866]

Its a nice comeback story.

[@ArnabChowdhury-n8m]

Very good story .please carry on

[@Elyseon]

Vengeance for humanity! Vigilo Confido!

[@markuhler2664]

I wonder if the inhabitants of the 15 planets evacuated, leaving the place cleaned up, and sent to Earth an apology note and a nice bundt cake. You didn't just leave 2 humans alive. You left 2 Marines. I've seen fuck-ups before, just nothing on that scale. I am curious of the culture that would develop from the Ten. Can you imagine the worship, literal or figurative, of them? Of being able to boast of being descended from a 'natural born' child of the Ten. Some serious roadblocks would have to be set up to avoid malignant crap from developing. Difficult to predict all the ways that could go wrong.

[@franknicholson6108]

excellent story and appropriate ending. Thanks

[@herveblanche226]

The U.S. Military is broken up into two count them two branches. The Army and the Navy. The Air Force is a major Corporation. The United States Marine Corps, not Corpees, Core spelled Corps is a CULT. Semper Fi my beautiful Teufel Hunfen.

[@Southern_Crusader]

*[Primo Victoria Intensifies]*

[@junkercitizen229]

I'm not sure how to feel about the fact that the song played in my head upon reading tht

[@ettibbet5493]

@@junkercitizen229 I felt good

[@yomogami4561]

good stories that would make a nice book series

[@johndexter1421]

Tell the Ruzzins we don’t need any!

[@greylensman2834]

And every year on the anniversary of the defeat of the Planac the new humans who had entered into the SpecForce went to the Planac homeworld and practiced bombardment runs as part of the graduating celebration.

[@rainbowchaser73]

Send in the clones!

[@frozenheartedgiant8330]

Ended, the cone war has

[@theonetodefyall238]

keeper going

[@AgroSquerril]

kept going

[@eleethtahgra7182]

Sounds like Commonwealth of Man in stellaris.

[@Monster_Ink]

Loved every bit of this!

[@AgroSquerril]

glad you enjoyed

[@shidon25]

You’re voice ranges are great, do you work for audible as well

[@Odd_Interaction]

“They're on our left, they're on our right, they're in front of us, they're behind us…they can't get away this time. ” - Chesty Puller

[@athos1029]

For the Algorithm! Great story.

[@AgroSquerril]

For the algorithm!

[@Navy89SEALs]

"We're back, bitches!"

[@jowaldron5342]

Used to get large ones hook upto your tractor behind you

[@FedralBI]

For the clones!

[@AgroSquerril]

dont make me repeat myself!

[@Enderborn272]

*501st theme blasting in the background.*

[@DragonBornClan4]

If only they asked humanity how they got their life holding worlds. I think humanity would have taught the xenon how to terraform

[@MrGoesBoom]

With ( justly deserved ) revenge hopefully this humanity would be able to retake the worlds their ancestors worked so hard to make livable and build up an even better future....nice they let the rest of the Empire that believed the Plaanc's lies ( still a shitty reason to go commit genocide and swallowed a bit too easily, but at least they had some excuse ) live...hopefully that bit of mercy will sink in and they'll leave humanity alone.

[@Amoth_oth_ras_shash]

you know...treat sapients as monsters...... and they might just become that ,at least... towards those that burnt everything else they once was..

[@Southern_Crusader]

Inglorious Bastards 40k

[@giselagrosjean1075]

Merci

[@ezekielmontano4420]

This is great

[@AgroSquerril]

glad you like

[@royalroses123]

The aliens got uno reversed carded so bad...

[@kirkjones9639]

Get back, its a trap! There are two of them!

[@soffren]

this is the best ending

[@AgroSquerril]

:)

[@joshuafischer684]

Killing foul xenos is the best future imaginable

[@ericdugal8818]

For the algorithm!!

[@tabithachastain6999]

The first story is imperialism in a nutshell

[@FirebaII0]

I love yer vids lass

[@AgroSquerril]

glad you enjoy the content

[@FirebaII0]

@@AgroSquerrilI’m just happy you Commented

[@dravenrogers7040]

Can anyone explain to me how the hell the alien in the first story with the cloning machine didn't get rich from his machine I mean sure it only clones things that are alive but you're telling me right now there is nothing you could have used that for

[@stevedixon921]

Well he was not very smart, he could have pulled a fast one after the capture. Really a low IQ moment, you should wait until your payday is secure before dumping your excess partners. Betrayal right from the start, deserved to be shot three times.

[@ianharrison5758]

I mean cloning tech likely isn’t super rare, so the real money would be from selling clones of an endangered species as slaves, not necessarily the act of cloning itself

[@thenthson]

For the algorithm

[@reasonablehiccups4792]

For the algorithm

[@AgroSquerril]

For the algorithm!

[@DEMONOFLOVEANDDEATH]

For the Prophet

[@AgroSquerril]

For the algorithm!

[@tarrantwolf]

And this is when humans become someone elses E.L.E. Peace would only come when every single solitary planet of theirs was burned.

[@prestonjones1653]

Sontar-HA

[@ironworksdragon6843]

Bob the dragon

[@Jason-sm4oc]

Hi Bob.

[@CharackBane]

For the algorithm!

[@AgroSquerril]

For the algorithm

[@Kirsten2933]

🇨🇦😎👍

[@mikeharris6429]

Every filthy Xeno in this universe needs to be purged.

[@sydneydaum9204]

fta

[@AgroSquerril]

fta

[@thegreenmanofnorwich]

I feel a bit for the one who had flown them offworld as a sort of prisoner. They didn't seem like an especially malevolent entity. I'm not sure that I like stories of genocide.

[@frozenheartedgiant8330]

But there was no genocide, except the one against humanity.

[@jorgecarreras4214]

Aye, they were spared until they tried to sabotage the cloning tanks, and then it was to the organic recycling vats they went.

[@smiley4995]

Feels like an extreme waste story wise to just throw away the alien character. Real boring choice on the author's part.

[@thisispigdog6685]

A comment.

[@jimsavage147]

I'm glad that someone narrates their own stories but your voice grates on my nerves. I have listened to several stories I have never been able to listen to an entire story because I can't tolerate your overdramatic tones and your Cadence is all wrong.

[@merlinwizard1000]

198th, 18 December 2023

[@klappstock943]

For the Algorithm the story and the voice

[@ChaosLierLen]

For the algorithm!

[@reasonablehiccups4792]

For the algorithm

[@anthonykafka42]

All praise

[@AgroSquerril]

For the algorithm!

[@jimmycoyote74]

For the algorithm

[@AgroSquerril]

For the algorithm!