SCP-3973 │ Would you like to re-roll? │ Safe │ Probability SCP

[@Old_Machine_Spirit]

The fact that the SCP has a stereotypical Space Marine's voice makes it more humorous.....

[@TekoMuto]

I smiled when I heard that too

[@jonahszaro3545]

It’s quiet

[@TheFosterKelly]

ChAoS sCuM

[@Yog-slagunar]

I could hardly believe it was a bloody SM SCP in the first place!

[@schiebay9196]

Good thing that the figure was not a blood raven figure otherwise the researchers may have found a few SCPs (artifacts) missing

[@me3moo2]

My poor good boy got left behind and all he was trying to do was help his owner win

[@NcrXnbi]

That is the life of a Space Marine in a nutshell. Left to die in the name of the Corpse Emperor. Join Chaos today, we have cookies.

[@xdas11]

@@NcrXnbi the cookies part never gets old XD

[@wasteoftime5848]

@@xdas11 The cookies of each chaos god would have their own "special" ingredient. Blood, extacy, shrooms or a... _random_ surprise.

[@declanedmison5442]

waste of time The slaanesh cookies were baked with cum instead of cookie dough.

[@EmeraldLavigne]

The cookies meme was old in 2010, guys. Get a new joke...

[@derekburge5294]

"They shall feel no fear!" Put into a box forever. "One fear!"

[@jemman2906]

Oh my god.

[@iambumbo7534]

"YOU HAVE NO HONOR" - apollo

[@DakSonGaming]

Even the Dark Gods felt that one.

[@THExRISER]

"They shall *have no fear!"

[@camdurbin5135]

The shall know* no fear

[@jacobfuhs7715]

Any closing remarks? "Thank you for listening, sergeant" My heart: *shatters*

[@theminuskai7453]

"You were good son real good, maybe even the best"

[@MetrocopNamedFinger]

The Minus Kai “that was a hell of a campaign son!”

[@Blyt03]

I know it was sad!!

[@khaimk4r4su]

i saluted ... not sure why

[@genaralshactacgoose9602]

I cry

[@tokusatsukeyblade797]

Player: *abandons space marine in a box* My inner Commissar: *loads bolt pistol* that wasn’t very loyalist of you, citizen.

[@thetuerk]

Underrated comment

[@meyatetana2973]

Commander lucky he was just a space marine and not the Death Korps of Krieg

[@karshkintrooper4613]

Herecy you are traitor to the Emperor

[@theleft4dead2tank5]

It wasn't very loyal I shall have a word with them.

[@professorsimosuchus7954]

@@theleft4dead2tank5 *sword *

[@mrschizo2837]

Would have been perfect if it was a Raven guard. "I wanna go back in the box. The box doesn't judge, it just hates."

[@darthlazurus4382]

"Insert bad gloomy poetry here"

[@scootza1]

"YOOOOOU ARE WEEEEEEEEEEAK CORVUSSSSSSSSSS"

[@TheBlairosor]

I mean, it make sense for it to be a ultrasmurf, the ability to choose the result of dices would explain all their impossible victories !

[@cinnamonman3814]

@@TheBlairosor HOW DO YOU KNOW THE NAME ULTRASMURF

[@cinnamonman3814]

@@TheBlairosor ONLY ONE CHAPTER CALLS THEM ULTRASMURFS

[@flameflamedramonva]

I honestly feel sorry for this SCP, he just wants a friend to play games with him

[@superphantom100]

If take him to my dnd games and call it my lucky figurine. I Would say a number out loud and then I would tell him to make all the rolls close to the number I say to either go one or two above or below and on occasion the number exactly. So that way it doesn’t appear like I’m cheating, and tell him if there other people I’m playing with start to suspect something, tell him if that happens to make me roll lower number for my next 5 rolls. So it doesn’t appear like I’m ringing my dies in some way.

[@cenfer9962]

@@superphantom100 eh that kind of takes all the fun out of it. would rather use it for gambling and stufff

[@ekramer2478]

@@cenfer9962 OMG yes, though bet he'd have fun at my D&D games, etc, or find some sci fi where he can be a space militant. The foundation should throw a few games for him now and then. I feel bad for him too!

[@jaymeVos]

I would instead just ask him to play the game with us and not for us.

[@tomsutton2042]

@@superphantom100 DM aid. Gives the rolls you need to keep the story going or to save a character, but still makes it seem like the players are lucky

[@Thatoneguyinurwalls]

I now firmly believe that there is an employee at the Foundation who's sole job it is to paint warhammer minis and scenery to decorate 3973's home, and that makes me happy.

[@concept5631]

What Ethics Committee does to a mf:

[@fuery.]

"This new ruined building is perfect for my home, brother"

[@TheLemonymelony]

"Brother Artisan can I have more Sororitas in my enclosure this month please"

[@Maxsmack]

I don't think that's his sole job, I also like to think multiple staff bring in stuff to accompany him

[@adamska122reviews]

I like how it refers to the person that used to own him as “commander” and dr. Harpy as “Sargent”. But this marine is able to manipulate chance. I can hear tzeetch screaming in frustration.

[@deannasmith4443]

all according to the grand design...

[@danielawesome36]

Oh shoot, manipulate chance... KITTEN, DID EMPS TURN YOU INTO A MARINE?

[@scootza1]

Well the image of an ultrasmurf fits well as the plot armor on that faction is thicker than the paint I put on my first models

[@daswordofgork9823]

The 05 Council asks Tzeentch: What are rules really though? Tzeentch: AN INTERESTING QUESTION ASSHOLES!!!!!!!!!!!

[@ZeroRequiemDX]

@@daswordofgork9823 From one asshole to another I say hahahhaa.

[@lukewind13]

"Took the box home for experimental purposes" Nah son he knows how expensive that plastic is and wanted some cheap alternatives.

[@techpriest2854]

so true

[@ReformedSooner24]

Damn plastic crack

[@The_Sharktocrab]

@@ReformedSooner24 crackstic

[@Scramblingegg]

*Slides scp-3973 into a jar*

[@spaghettimkay5795]

@@Scramblingegg NO.

[@LastHamurai]

Physically unremarkable!? That is one of the Emperors finest I'll have you know!

[@thebaron1979]

Love it!

[@cbcastlecastillo144]

By the Emperor you will have it!

[@BigPapaKaiser]

I see Tzeentch is slowly making his way into our universe.

[@DarkDisc1]

And he'll want to play Paradox-Billiards-Vostroyan-Roulette-Fourth Dimensional-Hypercube-Chess-Strip Poker

[@carlosrauseo4113]

Hey hey people

[@mediterraneanarhcitype4211]

Heretic

[@ob6733]

Just as planned

[@jwb_666]

We must exterminate the all the squids and cephalopodes! Grilled them all....

[@Terrium555]

I can see it now, -bright is not allowed to bring SCP-3973 casinos or gambling establishment of any sort.

[@dlausactor6373]

“Bright is not allowed to mention anything related to Chaos, the Warp, or heresy around SCP-3973.”

[@destrorso2505]

@@dlausactor6373 no, the chaos insurgency does not want to summon Daemons in the name of the ruinous powers.

[@theirelandidiot]

Bright after gambling souls: Dr. Bright is no longer allowed to gamble, bet, or play games that would usually have said activities in them.

[@optillian4182]

Dr. Bright is not allowed to paint himself green and declare "WAAAGH!" on SCP-3973.

[@comradedogma4957]

Dr. Bright is not allowed to 'collect and paint inordinately expensive plastic miniatures' and then add SCP-3973 to his collection, unless he is playing casually against other staff, and they are informed of SCP-3973's use in his army.

[@kaynealexander4993]

SCP-3973 locked in a Foundation containment room: "BROTHER I AM PINNED HERE!!!"

[@lobsermahn7262]

I cant wait for it to start spewing DoW voice lines, imagine it just screaming about the baneblade in the distance

[@TheDatastalker]

@@lobsermahn7262 As they bring in the containment box: "The monolith, we destroy that and this is over. CHARGE!"

[@LezbionestHere]

@@lobsermahn7262 walk softly, and carry a big gun

[@lobsermahn7262]

@@LezbionestHere and i quote “FOR THE EMPEROR HAAAAUGH!”

[@LezbionestHere]

@@lobsermahn7262 BROTHER

[@olivermorin3303]

The only file where "SCP" stands for "Spend Command Point".

[@swordracer]

XD

[@mannofdober873]

Spend Considerable Pennies

[@cinnamonman3814]

Spend considerable pennies

[@Nerdiness1985]

Spectacular Costly Plastic.

[@duuet5614]

I stopped playing when command points were added. It was too streamlined

[@MrNacho453]

I feel sorry for the little space marine. He just wanted to make happy his Commander.

[@kenya6497]

Funny you say that I just finished painting up a squad of space wolf intersessors.

[@dim-flower]

SoggyPotato Primaris, Lamenters

[@trialnerror3643]

@@kenya6497 I have a tactical squad of space marines that I don't know how to paint

[@kenya6497]

@@trialnerror3643 Thin your paints so they don't look like an eldritch horror from globbing paint on. Edit: do you have paints?

[@boom350ph]

It will be more willing to die if its a death korps

[@overlordinquisitor6565]

*This is so sad. Machine Spirit, play Despacitus.*

[@weshouldhavenukedjapanathi8369]

I approve

[@THExRISER]

The Omnissiah's decree states that Despacitus is cringe,therefore you are a Heretek of the highest degree!

[@panfrycreature]

Yes.

[@cbcastlecastillo144]

@@THExRISER DEPLOY EXTERMATUS!!

[@sebasw3359]

this is so sad[REDACTED] play [REDACTED]

[@donaldstraitiff7827]

why’d you scratch the model paint from the record, we know you overpaid for citadel pots

[@somegoodsoup7008]

The researcher didnt want to be made fun of

[@TheVolgun]

Honestly, i was thinking the same thing, hahaha

[@Raven_Yard]

The Emperor-- erm, *Empress* has great confusion, we craft our Astartes armour with the finest metals and dyes!

[@TheVagabondSam]

It was early tests of the Citadel Contrast Paints technology and FINALLY ONE 'THINK' COAT was the unintended tag line.

[@labtec514]

They're really not that overpriced.

[@Fishhunter2014]

What’s next? A Krieg miniature that drains the bank account of anyone within a 10 meter radius?

[@nalrashido]

All humans within 50ft of the object has a sudden compulsive urge to spend money on all Games Workshop (Including those of the Forgeworld division) products. This effect ends when the affected individuals completed the transaction of said product.

[@ANDREALEONE95]

That SCP already exists and it's whole Forge World product range.

[@recording_closet9100]

That's just a normal kreig mini

[@randomlygeneratedname]

Thats not anomalous

[@blademaster2390]

To be fair, the Death Korps of Krieg are pretty impressive and legendary, even for guardsmen. I’m currently working on a Space Marine army (a Dark Angels successor chapter), and an Ork army (of the Blood Axes klan), but I’m seriously tempted to create a Krieg army as well. I think the effect wouldn’t be from a Krieg miniature, but literally anything relating to the Krieg, because my temptation to create a Krieg army started after I watched a video of Sabaton’s “March of the Dead Men” with an animation of Kriegers in the background

[@Reall1v]

Being part of the Warhammer and SCP fandom and discovering this is mind blowing lol

[@MelonMafia1]

Most W40k fans seem to be a part of the SCP fandom and vice versa, idk why but these two universes are very similiar

[@theinquisitionsparrot6749]

SCP 40,000: the emperor of man

[@birb125]

@@MelonMafia1 my guess, the common love on gore/murder with a side of shit-posting

[@Emily12471]

Can you explain some of the less obvious details of warhammer referenced?

[@birb125]

@@Emily12471 heretics

[@NovusDawn1]

They need to give the Smurf Marine his squad back! An Astartes alone is a sad thing indeed, they are literally conditioned to have strong ties to their brothers-in-arms. Also, put a roboute guilliman Miniature next to this guy and watch him flip his little plastic shit.

[@MichaelBirks]

The Warp is strong with this Ultrasmurf.

[@robouteguilliman6662]

Honestly

[@legionaireb]

His Battle Brothers are probably part of the collection in that 'marked box in the break room,' along with other bitz added over the years. Makes you wonder what would happen if you put a necron or a demon in the case with him.

[@pizzamovies23]

Lmaoooo

[@adamska122reviews]

Then put a miniature of the big E there. It’ll probably start jumping up and down like a maniac

[@pajamapantsjack5874]

Object class: *HERETIC*

[@benb.8550]

Special Containment Procedures: *EXTERMINATUS*

[@dizzydoom4230]

I'm gonna need a heavy flamer for your profile pic's heresy.

[@hoopsonwheels]

All foundation personnel are to regularly pray to the emperor of mankind or risk termination from the forces of chaos

[@DarkDisc1]

@@dizzydoom4230 brother get the flamer!!! The..heavy flamer!!

[@Foxtrot972]

BROTHER THE HERETICS HAVE BROKEN CONTAINMENT WE MUST USE THE EXTERMINATUS!

[@TheRealVastile]

Rest easy, Marine, you've done the Imperium proud.

[@NathanielPayday]

This is legit one of the saddest SCPs I've heard/read in a while. Kind of funny, considering the object is a Space Marine (who aren't supposed to feel emotions, really), but there you have it.I just wanna take the little guy to a friendly game and just roll the dice away from him or something. He sounds like he needs a good game :(

[@BigRatNate]

space marines feel loads of emotions, they're presented like volatile children in the novels. Hell, the horus heresy only happened because marines and their primarchs are prtty and emotional.

[@NathanielPayday]

@@BigRatNate There's an important distinction between not having emotions and not being _supposed_ to have emotions, though. You're not wrong, tho ;P

[@BigRatNate]

@@NathanielPayday to be fair though, nowhere in the lore has it ever been said that they're even supposed to be unemotional

[@NathanielPayday]

@@BigRatNate I would say it's at least implied. I mean, hell, the Imperium is at constant war with Choas (that is an intentional reference, not a typo), so it makes sense that they'd want as little emotional contamination in their troops as possible. Plus, you know, at the very least they weren't supposed to have fear. "They shall know no fear," and all. From where I'm sitting, it makes sense to make them more or less emotionless altogether. Or at least try and fail to, in this case.

[@BigRatNate]

@@NathanielPayday I mean, it's only implied if you've never read a codex, played any of the games, or read any of the novels. They're petty little rage machines in *everything* they're presented in. The only way it could be implied is if you *only* learn about 40k from like, reddit memes.

[@OnemarioOLDCHANNEL]

"In the [REDACTED] months that SCP-3973 has been in Foundation custody, it has been kept in a box on a lock Anomalous Item containment locker. Now we are faced with the possibility of sapience." O h

[@StarryxNight5]

They couldn't even show how many months. That's at least a year. If the foundation doesn't show something like that, it probably would make you feel very bad.

[@craiga6557]

@@StarryxNight5 73 months

[@knightsgtjackanderson482]

That is nothing to one of the Emperor’s Astartes

[@The_Keeper]

Honestly, being locked alone(ish) in a dark, possibly damp, closet for months or even years on end, is probably probably one of the better experiences a Space Marine can experience. I mean, no xenos to fight, no demons trying to rape his face and/or soul, and no insane inquisitors to bother him. It would be almost... peaceful.

[@YaBoiKiryu]

@@The_Keeper Then they would likely go insane with nothing to do, bereft of purpose.

[@TheSkyrivertitan]

i would let this lil guy sit on my gaming table and just bring him everywhere with me so he could see the world! he deserves it, ultimate good boy right here

[@shannymuffin1317]

Even if he wasn't cheating for me, I'd love to have him as a friend,

[@weshouldhavenukedjapanathi8369]

@@shannymuffin1317 Yeah

[@thedoodler2179]

I would too god damn it he's a good boy and he deserves to see the world, not be abandoned in a random box

[@boom350ph]

Imagine the ork will always have high rolls with the daka daka I believe? Idk the one that u can shot again if u have a high roll

[@jpsoup7920]

Bring him to Warhammer world

[@imperialguardsman8088]

Even in the real world, the emperor protects.

[@teddycouch9306]

As does graven ashe

[@nerfornuffin9982]

The emperor protects brother

[@moistmeathateroffurries8621]

"THE EMPEROR CAN SUCK MY ALIEN ASS" - a tyranids moments before having his head sliced open for the good of the emperor

[@mastadonking3816]

Me: Sweet. A new Volgun video. *sees thumbnail * Me: *CHARGE! FOR THE EMPEROR!!!*

[@ffejpsycho]

Immediately: why has commander fused my feet to this circular base? That's not official codex astartes procedure, guilliman weeps!

[@jemman2906]

Yes!

[@thecicadas431]

That figure looks like a doom character but blue

[@L337f33t]

Glory to the Omnissiah!

[@cbcastlecastillo144]

@@thecicadas431 You dare offend the Emperors finest!?!

[@jrreedve2825]

This is a good and loyal Space Marine. He deserves accommodations for his service!

[@TimeCircleBlue]

Honor Laurels for the Lucky Boy

[@dist0rted320]

The fact that one of the patreons' names is "The Commissar" makes this so much better.

[@SlicedBolonga]

When I heard about this SCP's backstory at first I was like oh it used to be in war hammer and apparently came to life but then I found out it was just some kid who he called commander. I don't know why but this feels really wholesome

[@Pragabond]

@DogMe4t I mean I would think a little bigger than that but yeah. He could help you do just about anything and everything with the best results in your life at all times. It could be used to capture SCPs. It might even be able to be used by the people coming up with new containment procedures. Their brainstorming would have the best possible odds of coming up with a perfect solution. Nat 20s all day. Just put it in the room with the best and brightest the Foundation has right in the middle of the table and have it give everyone in the room the best luck and then have a meeting on the most difficult to contain SCPs and see the containment procedures all improve drastically over the course of a day. Give it to people who have absolutely vital missions and give them and the team the best possible odds of success as long as retrieval of the miniature is possible and there's little risk of losing it. If that thing can alter ALL luck/chance it could singlehandedly revamp the entire foundation in all the best possible ways used correctly. Put it in a room during peace negotiations between countries too while you're at it. Used correctly this SCP could fix the world slowly but surely.

[@somefan1371]

Remember! To admit defeat is to blaspheme against the Emperor.

[@mossy40k]

Toy story with 40K would have been very interesting lol

[@lioneljonson6893]

tfw Andy brings home some Nurglite miniatures

[@chillvro.]

All furry objects would get obliterated

[@TOMNICE]

@Arusiek90 I think you are talking about 'Small Soldiers'

[@VictorIV0310]

The story “Toy Hammer 40k”.

[@GabbieTheFox]

*HEAVY BOLTERS INTENSIFIES*

[@memethief5878]

This is my rifle, this is my gun, this is plasma, I rolled a 1... ;-;

[@scorchprimethewalkingwarcrime]

BOOOM

[@hydroliskythemasterof4751]

And that's why we can't have nice things.

[@Aversedruid045]

YOU SEE, this is what happens when you use too much Nuln Oil.

[@Daveonimus]

So what your saying is I must bathe my army in Nuln Oil

[@Cryuga]

I wonder if Dr. Harpy got into Warhammer because of the SCP, or if he just happened to already be into it

[@thelordz33]

From what the addendum said, he went to the tournament on his personal time when he found it so he was probably already a fan.

[@EmeraldLavigne]

@@thelordz33 nah, it wasn't Dr. Harpy - the addendum says it was some agent. I presume that's some MTFer...

[@mistertaz94]

@@EmeraldLavigne probably not an MTFer. I think it was probably just an average run-of-the-mill Agent who was attending. Reasons for attendance may include personal hobby, a family member or friend participating, creeping like an MtG Judge, and/or mistook the Warhammer convention for the DnD convention the agent was supposed to attend

[@whatamidoing725]

Imagine taking this thing to a roulette table and winning big everytime

[@chainsawsubtlety9828]

Craps.

[@michaelcianci2564]

The La Costa Nostra would like to know your location

[@MudakTheMultiplier]

And then promptly having the table closed and several large men in suits asking you to leave.

[@potentiallyaheretic9281]

Come on! 23!

[@trialnerror3643]

Yeah good ol Russian roulette

[@Burrenyuu3802]

Plot twist: It’s not an SCP at all. The scientists are just really lucky.

[@mobius1695]

Plot twist, plot twist: The scientists are actually the SCP.

[@StarryxNight5]

Plot twist: The scientists are just pulling a prank on the O5s and ethics committee

[@erika002]

Plot Twist: *_D-bois ARE the Foundation_*

[@citrusorange794]

Its funny cause its blue

[@juanordonezgalban2278]

To be honest, the chance that all the "comunications" that happened with "him" where a result of pure luck, is diferent from zero, therefore possible.

[@JOEY-xj4ds]

If down the road this thing turns out to be a keter, just tell him he’s a “guest” of the inquisition. He’ll do whatever you say

[@destrorso2505]

@@violetblood3421 if they find black legion just put a blood angel next to him, he'll shit himself

[@brotherkhrayn3525]

@@destrorso2505 FOR THE EMPEROR!

[@destrorso2505]

@@brotherkhrayn3525 FOR SANGUINIUS! DEATH! DEATH!

[@brotherkhrayn3525]

@@destrorso2505 AAAAAAAAAGH! *charges with chain sword*

[@sickonshimmer]

My poor babyyyyy why am I feeling emotions for a piece of sentient plastic

[@robertgutierrez2219]

Because hes a good guy! He deserves to get new paint jobs and friends and getting to play and watch battles

[@btchaplin7859]

“Even a man who has nothing can still offer his life.”-Imperial guardsmen

[@sevennationarmy4753]

This sounds like a gambler's wet dream

[@thesoy-sorcerer9469]

Another great comment

[@Miraculousdragoneyes]

.....ok

[@ultra-papasmurf]

Well before the casino drags you out back and rips your finger nails out

[@dawsonhenry5558]

Would drop a like but don’t want to change it from 169

[@spoiledmilk2587]

@@Miraculousdragoneyes cringe

[@beachybum-bum]

Thumbnail: Warhammer marine My hand clicking on the video: I am speed

[@masterchefoftheuscc7943]

unless your a white scar riding a rhino transport tank.going over 200mph your not speed

[@miguela6289]

Like how the scp universe has so many op scp’s but at the same time humans can contain them.

[@EnigmaEnginseer]

We’re lucky we can contain some of them.

[@beachybum-bum]

Bro what if there was an scp that MAKES SCPS

[@GEWB2105]

@@beachybum-bum Read the 001 proposal for The Spiral Path. Actually, I think Volgan already made a video for it...

[@GEWB2105]

@【a forgotten friend】 Ah, I forgot about that one. But the article left it open because it said that it producing new SCPs was an untested theory for some in the Foundation. The possibility was enough to halt further testing thought. Hmmm...

[@DemonDragonGD]

Miguel A Flex don’t underestimate a meat bag.

[@hillwench]

That "They don't like it when I think" at the end is absolutely terrifying. Almost makes it sound like Millar is an SCP himself, and thinking too hard about anything puts his containment at risk.

[@brotherkhrayn3525]

I heard that and was like “FUCKING SAME, my guy!”

[@sly161]

Hey, thanks for doing a reading of my first SCP! I noticed I was getting a bunch of new votes on the article and was wondering where they came from, haha. Great work on the reading!

[@nuclearnitra194]

WOW man, thats yours, great writing and a great mix of my two favourite universes

[@Diseptibots]

You did very good writing

[@hanzgetzaluger5852]

BROTHER!!!!!!!!! YOU SHALL NOT BE LEFT BEHIND, WE ARE COMING!!!!

[@dinodude6992]

The foundation after a group of space marines stole scp 3973: what just happened?

[@overlordinquisitor6565]

* Enacting translocation protocols *

[@knightsgtjackanderson482]

We are deploying the entirety of the first company to get our brother back

[@daswordofgork9823]

@@dinodude6992 they were Blood Ravens acquitting their technology.

[@hammsuke8290]

*The Ordo Hereticus wants to know your location.*

[@insidious7329]

*The SCP foundation has found your location.*

[@ronnocrex1290]

*the Ordo Hereticus has deployed virus bombing to your location*

[@willpatton8548]

Do you think that their is also a chaos miniature that wants to ruin your day by giving you the worst rolls possible

[@thebaron1979]

@@insidious7329 Brilliant!

[@kathyvanvuuren2439]

@@willpatton8548 y not a guardsman they are,nt exactly lucky

[@nyxnox2135]

I just saw the thumbnail and thought "Damn, if the Volgun talks about a Warhammer SCP, I'm good for the day. Edit: i crave more now

[@didokell]

**has realization** **Goes through attic storage in a panic** IM COMING BUDDY!!!

[@brotherkhrayn3525]

THE EMPEROR PROTECTS, BROTHER!

[@HappyNoob17YT]

Bring him some more brothers and a dreadnought.

[@Cesly-mo3uf]

I feel Ultra-depression for my little Ultra-buddy.

[@TheVolgun]

Hello! - i've gone for a midweek upload this time, short and sweet. Longer episodes are in the pipeline! Addendum: Chances are i'll be going live on twitch about an hour after this goes live at twitch.tv/thevolgun so, drop by and say hi!

[@heretic6314]

As a 40k fan, thank you for doing this one

[@vallisdaemonumofficial]

Thank you! 😁

[@hoopsonwheels]

The emperor is pleased with this video

[@AnarchoPurp]

The use of a D20 and D6 for communication is clever, but the foundation can do better: Step 1: create a 26-sided die labeled with each letter. Make several hundred such dice. Step 2: create a machine that automatically drops the dice at a constant rate. Dice can either fall into a flat surface, or into a collection tray, at the discretion of SCP-3973. Step 3: Text-recognition software in the machine scans the words spelled by SCP-3973, then the machine pushes all dice into the collection tray for another cycle. Step 4: The words are converted via text-to-speech software. Now SCP-3973 can speak, preferably with a Space Marine voice filter. Step 5: allow SCP-3973 to play tabletop games with other well-behaved sentient SCPs

[@Dr.Kratos.]

Or... the good Dr. can feel lucky we let him spend his valuable time playing with his toys a d figure it out for himself while we spend our resources on actually important things. Like killing that damnable lizard... or making that tree scream

[@MrAraag]

Warhammer and SCP, I think I've died and gone to heaven! Thanks Volgun

[@343happyspock]

SCP-3973: Was I a good space marine? O5-1: No. O5-1 A.K.A The Emperor of Mankind: I was told you were the best.

[@whatthewhatthe9117]

Hail to the god emperor!

[@goofytycooner5519]

Everyone: oh hey look its another SCP My brain: Dont say it dont say it dont say it dont say it dont say it d- Me: *FOR THE EMPEROR!!!*

[@cbcastlecastillo144]

Emperor protect brother!

[@thedoodler2179]

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

[@brianedmonds4901]

I'm gonna need two bolters for THIS heresey!!!

[@boom350ph]

MY FATE IS MY SHIELD

[@monkymonky3428]

AAAAAAAAAAAA

[@kutkuknight]

One of the few SCPs that made me to: aww Id take care of the brave little guy

[@garrusvakarian678]

I think the same!Poor little guy =(

[@cinnamonman3814]

HES MORE THEN BRAVE. YOU NOW HE JUST SO HAPPENS TO BE LIKE THIS BECAUSE THE EMPEROR WANTED TO SHOW HIM THE REAL WORLD. THAT OR GOD HAS TOO MUCH TIME ON HIS HANDS. OH YA WE CANT TAKE HIM BECAUSE WE HAVE OUR OWN BUT IT MOVES AND THE LITTLE BASTERD BIT MY EAR OFF AND STARTED EATING IT BEFORE I COULD GET IT OFF HIM

[@Resident-of-Pluto]

Ngl, this is kinda sad. Homeboy was just trying to help his superior but got left in a box instead.

[@Honeybreee]

Nice pfp and name btw

[@GideonGleeful95]

I kind of want SCP-999 to meet him. These two are like the two most wholesome SCPs

[@reivercaptain510]

He basically did so well his commander was accused of heresy by the Inquisition and got sent to the penal legions.

[@baronprocrastination1722]

@@reivercaptain510 to be fair, if you're doing _that_ well, it's not so far fetched to think Tzeentch may have had a hand in it.

[@weshouldhavenukedjapanathi8369]

@@Honeybreee I agree

[@lilith2449]

Saw space marine and clicked right away, love that 40k (and scp)

[@TheRedJadex]

Same.

[@williamstoner3865]

Indeed. My brother and I send 40k and SCP clips to each other, this is Perfect.

[@captianfenris8678]

I love the idea that my models have a personality. Maybe talking to them and speaking to them about their lore may... influence them in some ways. Hmm, CAPTAIN... round up all battle brothers... I have a speech to give!

[@captianfenris8678]

If I tell you I'll have to paint you in black with red Xs

[@AeternumUnus]

"we were left in a drop pod..." Me: BROTHA!

[@milanelst5754]

Never clicked so fast in my life

[@yeetmeister8996]

Same

[@aachidouin1542]

Fastest click in the wild west

[@reneerjavec3950]

Same

[@undeadginge666]

Yep same

[@dream_wild5894]

I know right

[@Mochi_Madness87]

As a DM myself, I can say that I love this little guy.

[@tinle9]

Bard: I wish to charm the dragon Dm: roll for charisma Bard:20! Dm: roll for charisma Bard: 20!? Dm: I SAID ROLL FOR CHARISMA

[@Tk-nb1jb]

A player leaving his miniatures behind is more unbelievable than it being an scp.

[@crystalalarm3]

Let all be glad it was a loyalist model, imagine if it had been chaos or necrons.

[@sd501st5]

Or a Marines Malevolent... or Black Templar. No smilie-faces anywhere.

[@andgodsaiduntoabraham]

@@sd501st5 Testing log with Black Templars variant Begin log "How are you today?" "AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA" For brevity, testing log ends here.

[@brotherkhrayn3525]

Or Tyranid…

[@coolunclesip858]

Or lamenter

[@QuarkGamingLLC]

Or an Ork Actually having a green skin model like this guy might be fun. It might actually be alive if it’s ork powers still work

[@nerfornuffin9982]

"Covered in layers of [REDACTED] brand model paint" WE ALL KNOW IT CITADEL

[@iamanotroastpotatoyoucantr9959]

They don’t like it when I think Knowing how the SCP Foundation works thats pretty funny

[@lazymansload520]

There’s a TTS joke in this, but I just can’t think of one...

[@rays5073]

*[Y E E E E E S]*

[@mahoganydoughnut6082]

Of course girlymans blueberry boys always get the rolls they want.

[@firesire3971]

The table top episode comes to mind with the repeated crit on the "gorger lord"

[@maximsavage]

@@firesire3971 ROLL! 10! ROLL!! 10!! ROLL!!! 10!!! ROLL!!!! 10!!!! ROLL!!!!! 10!!!!!

[@cmdrgarbage1895]

God damn it Rogal

[@ravendelacour1917]

"Dr. Bright may no longer use SCP-3973 for the weekly D&D game."

[@DorkMatter001]

A true Ultramarine, working hard to make his Brothers and the Emperor proud

[@Valsorayu]

Considering he is a Space Marine (Ultramarine) in thought as well, I think that he would actively help the humans... and see the SCPs as Warp Entities. Maybe a very strong countermeasure for containment breaches.

[@juliovictormanuelschaeffer8370]

The Spess Mehreen voice is awesome, and very tragic too!

[@jakub_paints6775]

Hey, look, Warhammer 40k, Yay!

[@duxater2331]

I was expecting this to be "SCP 40,000" just based on the picture- hahaha. But honestly, I saw SCP mixed with a Warhammer marine, and I just ***CLICKED***

[@imperialfist2304]

Lucky, that’s what his brothers called him, his owner won numerous battles people calling him a cheater. He won glory for the Chapter and the Emperor, until his owner got a Primaris set and Luckys tactical squad was eternally shelved. He was forgotten until he was found by the foundation, he was cast out and forgotten by his chapter. But Maybe one day..one day, his brothers will come for him and he will bring luck and glory to the chapter once again. Glory to Ultramar forgotten cousin.

[@garank4971]

Found you again glorius warrior iron within

[@bourgeoiscaesar]

That bit at the end is really interesting, and something I had never considered before. If 3973 is just controlling the physical dice, that's neat, but if it is actually affecting the odds of things happening, that's potentially huge.

[@Osna_Durtha]

*NOW THIS LOOKS A JOB FOR ME!* *I SENSE THY AIR IS HERESY*

[@Jakenatorr]

HERESY GROWS FROM IDLENESS

[@jacobknudson8764]

@@Jakenatorr BROTHER I AM PINNED HERE

[@danny_decheeto8300]

BROTHER I REQUIRE A GAS MASK TO AVOID THE HERETICAL AIR

[@yeetmeister8996]

YOU DON’T WANNA WAKE, THIS SCP

[@warbossbonesmasha3751]

*ENEMYS OF MAN WILL FALL BEFORE US*

[@boartank]

Spoice Moirene -Random Ork

[@26th_Primarch]

Battehl Brothas -Not so random bald guy with an interesting accent

[@MichaelBirks]

The Spoice must flow!

[@m4n0fsteel23]

This department of the Imperium must be the Adeptus Anomalous

[@Theoxuesu]

The Emperor of Mankind smiles on you, brother Volgun.

[@dakilleral4998]

I like how the 2 universes of scp and war hammer are both extremely brutal, but when you mix them, its just a space marine that's controls dice in a 50cm radius lol

[@WAcrobat19]

Im a simple man. If I see an Ultramarine miniature in my notifications, I click

[@cbcastlecastillo144]

Emperor protect brother

[@yeetmeister8996]

Fans: oh, I thought you were dead! The Vulgun: my death was, greatly exaggerated.

[@chrisnewman543]

I was messing with the random SCP function on the wiki a couple days ago, and this was one of the ones that came up. What are the odds? (Pun intended)

[@arizonadawn3094]

“Uhhh… Sorry Ultramarine, You’ve been reassigned.”

[@zkvickers2466]

Can he die simply from getting killed during a game? If so I can see another “here were dragons” scenario, poor lad.

[@MelonMafia1]

Don't worry, no Astartes should have the dishonour of dying of old age, to die in glorious combat whilst serving the will of the Emperor is their only goal

[@jonathonspears7736]

Where the dragons went is the single saddest SCP I've read.

[@0jutai]

As sad as it sounds, I think that’s probably exactly what the little fellow would want. He’s a Space Marine, after all. To die in combat, in service of the imperium, is the highest honour

[@destrorso2505]

Even in death he still serves

[@solarwrath1313]

@@destrorso2505 comes back as a dreadnought mini

[@Mr.FrostyApple]

"They don't like it when I think". That felt especially unsettling

[@dsagent]

*BRUH The Imperium of Man has to deal with things worse than all the SCPs combined.*

[@soliar5209]

The scp literally have multiverses power level gods what do the impe...oh the reality tumors i forgot

[@lorentzcoffin4957]

Idk 001 when day breaks is pretty bad. But considering that all of the scp’s are contained barring a small list of exceptions you do have something of a point.

[@Osna_Durtha]

@@soliar5209 *WARP SPIDER! THERS A WARP SPIDER! YARRGHH!*

[@leftistadvocate9718]

but they have the resources to actually combat them.

[@vokhanhhoang8378]

Machine spirit is mekhane confirmed

[@notaprinny]

This + The “A hero is born” SCP.

[@weshouldhavenukedjapanathi8369]

Hmm

[@irregularassassin6380]

Don't do that to the poor book! Do you really want the old man in there to have to recreate the grim darkness of the 41st millennium?

[@Krensharpaw]

Could you imagine being a DM and having both of these things? The book to help write your adventures and have them come to life before running them. And this tiny mini to let your players have a ton of fun as they think they are just ultra lucky when they need it and they've out smarted you. That would be something.

[@IgnatianMystic]

I had the same thought, but on closer introspection, it probably wouldn't work out logistically. You have to be asleep for "A Hero is Born"'s effects to work, and obviously, you can't roll dice in your sleep-- not unless you have a history of being able to sleepwalk and consciously control your actions while sleepwalking.

[@Da_Shark]

@@IgnatianMystic im hoping the skip can actually be the one in the book.... living a marine dream the emperor is revived all xenos wiped from the galaxy chaos forces a distant memory and the war is finally over

[@MrJustonemorevoice]

Good god I would take this little guy with me everywhere. He is an Astarte. He deserves such considerations. *Thank you for listening Sergeant*

[@KirillTheBeast]

Did the Foundation just describe one of the Emperor's finest as "physically unremarkable"? Do they WANT to get wrecked by a legion's worth of damn bolter wielding nuns?

[@tarbo6911]

I'm so ready to get into anything DnD, SCP, or Warhammer related so this being sent my way is a godsend

[@juliovictormanuelschaeffer8370]

Hope we could see more Warhammer SCP's in the future.

[@lonewanderer1328]

Tts emperor scp? 👀

[@26th_Primarch]

@@lonewanderer1328 yeah... I'd love to see Lord Inquisitor Cyberdong's investigations.

[@mcchicken1849]

Same.

[@FantaFruitBoi]

Ok now I think they need to make a custom object class that is warhammer themed. Exp. Object Class: Heresy

[@hansyolo8277]

I mean, the Dark Cells are essentially the SCP foundation.

[@beevis690]

Cold open stories is doing an scp system for inquisition here soon.

[@sideways5153]

“They don’t like it when I think” The people with clearance level 4 can stuff it, Dr Millar has great thoughts lol

[@clintbustwood4800]

This is definitely a reference to the guy that got banned from all tournaments for weighing dice.

[@wasteoftime5848]

Just got into 40k. This popping up now felt like an anomaly.

[@taiya001]

Run away dude. I’m serious, once you are in it won’t let you leave. My pen pal got me into it and now all horseshoes make me think UltraMarine.

[@jayglier]

Where are you getting the money for 40k?

[@akm3966]

If this doesn't label all Dungeon Masters as SCP's then I'm leaving

[@N_Moli]

Now it's a good day.

[@lordbrobert1884]

This was so wholesome. He just wanted to help his commander win. Not realizing that the player would inevitability get accused of cheating.

[@hosomi1833]

Brother lucius A well meaning but simple minded defender of humanity, he fought well against the hordes of xenos threatening the tabletop, but his gift must be studied by the mechanicus to ensure he does not fall into the hands of the forces of chaos