Star Trek: Section 31 - This Is Rock Bottom

[@snekks7497]

The showrunners described it as "Guardians of the Galaxy on steroids." How come you can't just make Star Trek on Star Trek?

[@rogerborg]

Who now would describe their movie or show as "Star Trek meets [literally anything]"? The Orville was the best Star Trek between Voyager and Picard S3 and Unification.

[@Inkarmy]

More like GotG with hemorrhoids

[@casketbase7750]

Guardians of the Galaxy is the Dark Souls of movie pitches.

[@Proletariat12]

It's not guardians of the galaxy on steroids, unless by that they mean sickly, with an overinflated ego.

[@tomasr.]

It's terrible how most new sci-fi movies try to copy GoG, just like fantasy tv series imitate Game of Thrones.

[@Astroman10]

When IGN gives your product a 2/10, you done fucked up!

[@Lokhir100]

The check must've bounced

[@jacknedry3925]

@@Lokhir100, Yep, sounds about right.

[@ReadDeath225]

@@Lokhir100 based

[@SabotAndHeat75]

Facts

[@geertf.5756]

Maybe IGN gets honest finally...

[@JukeboxGothic]

Star Trek 1966 made me want to be an engineer (and I did). Star Trek Section 31 made me want to have a lobotomy.

[@Relkond]

Don't go for the lobotomy. While you'll leave happy, the drool is a problem that never goes away.

[@adrienneandjean-guyduhamel1717]

lmao

[@bentonmarcum8924]

(and U did) 😄

[@ryankelly369]

So did you? Have the lobotomy, I mean? Personally, I'd rather have a bottle in front of me than a frontal lobotomy. YMMV. ;)

[@anonymous3637]

And the 60s were the golden age for those

[@malevellysian]

don't think i've ever heard the drinker sound so personally offended by a movie

[@ReadDeath225]

I thought so too 😂

[@MTB571]

Rings of Power ...

[@bradcsuka5054]

💯

[@Howardax]

I know right, his rants and imagery are top-tier here 👌 I love it

[@purplemicrodot58]

His standard "Go away now" became a death metal plea.

[@TheSektorz]

Are you tellin me that a show that has a poster of an aging woman looking boss girl with her foot on a guy on the ground is generic and predictable slop?

[@elitely6748]

I thought you were joking but its real, what are these execs and creators thinking anymore

[@Widestone001]

What?! *surprised pikachu face*

[@adv957]

@@elitely6748Thinking appears to be out of fashion.

[@Drugstore_Cowgirl1986]

I can't wait to play as a middle aged girl boss in the Witcher 4 who completely shatters the lore (and glass ceiling).

[@mirceazaharia2094]

Impossible. Perhaps the archives are incomplete...

[@izMargaret]

"You've hit rockbottom here." I'm not sure, but I get the impression that these studios and directors are always looking for new ways to dig deeper holes.

[@Dowlphin]

Yeah, we really cannot claim they are lacking creativity. 😑

[@Rucky888]

Yep. This is Hollywood. They will keep digging to somehow, take it lower.

[@carpediem6431]

Well, on the bright side, we are witnessing in real time through our OWN EYES , events that will be researched, dissected, and analyzed in required case studies in business programs 50 years from now: How Disney and Paramount destroyed two of the most valuable and entrenched franchises in entertainment history through their hubris, righteousness and total unwillingness to listen/react to ACTUAL customers in their fan base.

[@chindleymuffin]

If they dig any deeper, they may end up in f**king China!! 😒

[@DagobertX2]

That's how they carve out money for themselves. Overproduced overpriced ending up as a flop.

[@bunnywithakeyboard7628]

“It’s dead, Jim.”

[@Krieg8418]

Darnit! Beat me to it! So I will content myself with a KURTZMAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAN!

[@snekks7497]

It's worse than that!

[@jaydawg7]

Shit's* dead, Jim.

[@DieWitness]

Damn it Jim I'm a drama critic not a doctor

[@dustdevl3404]

I'm a doctor, not a miracle worker.

[@qubex]

This is Star Trek’s Acolyte.

[@KerbalSpaceCommand]

nuTrek is Star Trek's Acolyte.

[@kostamojin9591]

I'm sorry but disco was star treks acolyte.

[@TheeDude-g4r]

Worse than Star Wars Acolyte...by miles...and Acolyte was garbage.

[@tehkill3r]

So, an obituary.

[@markenetube]

So was STD, Star Woke, this is daughter of Star Woke.

[@verbena208]

When are these people gonna figure out that Star Trek isn't an action series? It was written for people who wanted to think about their stories not be distracted by endless fights. That's why the Kelvin timeline didn't really go that well. Star Trek is science fiction not a space opera. It's meant to explore interesting questions about how we would relate to new species and new cultures. Sure there's some action but it's meant to serve as a plot device not be the crux of the story.

[@richardenglish2195]

Because thinking's overrated! Obvs. Got with the program, boomer!

[@robinbreeds9217]

But that Logic of Spock could be a like Dao Monk or something trying to master you can sort of relate it, now a boomer is my mother or father who are the boomers in this movie ?

[@TheFranzkfk]

I would ad moral dilemmas.

[@snoriverrc3842]

Star Trek was always a Morality Play, with lessons on how to be better. They lost that thread when JJ Abrams took over...

[@randomDaved]

All this. They're too focused on trying to make a low budget Star Wars movie with "Trek" characters these days, and they're losing sight of the fact that story was always the main focus for Trek. Star Trek has been dead for a while and, like Pet Cemetery showed us, the revived beast is never going to be the same.

[@CanadaPlus]

Anyone remember when Star Trek was smart? I miss that...

[@beowulfsrevenge4369]

Does anyone remember when Starfleet had a military like chain of command and discipline? I miss those days.

[@tristangoodfellow9180]

Remember when Star Trek had heightened dialogue, amazing actors and well written stories.... Alas

[@SabotAndHeat75]

Why I have ST originals and TNG on Blu Ray.

[@easyalpha1]

TOS only…..

[@themachoechidnaugandarandy7583]

​@@easyalpha1 those old scientists

[@peterd3881]

“Slip into something more comfortable, like a coma”😂😂😂😂

[@mvader7188]

Or Tatiana 😊

[@All2Meme]

Can you imagine being a Star Trek/Star Wars fan falling into a coma 25 years ago, and waking up to THIS?

[@Dowlphin]

@@mvader7188 But of course he didn't say that, because his buzz was utterly killed.

[@MMAallday67]

Disney: "We make the most vomit-inducing crap in the universe!!!!" Paramount: "Hold my Romulan Ale..."

[@delluminatis]

should have stayed on andorian ale

[@kurtbarlow5408]

I grew up on TNG and DS9 … Didn’t know how good I had it!

[@baswenmakers6846]

And even those two series were filled with all the woke talking points and imagery. Adjusted for inflation. Go look at them again now that you have some "antibodies", if you do not believe me.

[@CorvoFG]

@@baswenmakers6846but the progressiveness was subtle. You were led to it, it wasn’t slammed in your face at every opportunity.

[@michaelotoole1807]

@@baswenmakers6846 "antibodies" that's some funny shit! I'm a big trek fan and i agree with you. some of the decisions that they made were bad progressive. ex: picard should have been relieved of duty for not sending that borg geordie befriended back to the borg collective carrying the virus to destroy them.

[@kurtbarlow5408]

@@baswenmakers6846 I have rewatched quite a bit of TNG and DS9 in the last couple of years and I don’t agree

[@alejandronopasanada5302]

I bet you I’ve cycled through more bad episodes of TNG and DS9 than new trek. EDIT: That was totally not what I mean, I mean, I watch more of those episodes than I do new trek.

[@JimmyDoresHairDye]

I thought Star Trek already hit rock bottom, but it always seems to find new ways to drill down further into the abyss.

[@preppen78]

Going where no man has gone before

[@RKroese]

They WANT the lake of fire. 🤷🏼‍♂️

[@lewisroach8723]

Don't be so mean! They're just trying to compete with the Kola borehole.

[@axelhopfinger533]

In a world of infinite parallel universes, there's an infinite number of rock bottoms to reach.

[@mirceazaharia2094]

Perhaps they stole that idea from the Satanist faction from the METRO series. Who knows? Multiverse-y, timey wimey.

[@TomVonders]

I like to imagine that the mountain in Paramount logo is Everest, only instead of the dead bodies, it's covered with dead IPs

[@All2Meme]

I thought the Paramount mountain would rotate 180 degrees and be revealed as a giant poop emoji.

[@maxfalconridge]

I've been in apathy mode with Star Trek since 2005. They wanted the actual fans to leave, so we all left. Good riddance to crap franchises

[@sebc8938]

Star Trek Discovery was very good, at least regarding the quality of my sleep ...

[@Billkwando]

They're trying to pull a full Disney on it, but unlike Star Wars, Trek wasn't aimed squarely at kids.

[@felixcosty]

Maybe they can bring back Babylon 5 and run that into the ground.

[@seanjames5930]

@@felixcosty No please dont

[@gratefulguy4130]

​@@sebc8938 you had us in the first half

[@knoxminis1211]

"The only way out is up." I have a feeling that rock bottom can be even further down at this point.

[@TheAgeofConversation2]

Yeah, when I heard Drinker say that, I thought, "I'd be willing to bet on that. "

[@samuelayers3429]

They've hit rock bottom and are starting to dig,

[@MegaBadgeman]

@@samuelayers3429 Yeah even they can't mess that up. or can they?

[@AdamSmith-kq6ys]

@@MegaBadgeman There are mining companies less committed to digging than this lot.

[@hivebrain]

Sideways is also an option.

[@NagaTales]

That "Go away, nowwrrrrr" was very cathartic xD It communicates exquisitely my personal disappointment in everything Trek recently. I am not a Humanist in any sense, but it was the Humanist fantasy of the Star Trek universe that made Star Trek... well... Star Trek. Without it, it's just another science fiction show, and a damn hollow one at that. Star Trek won't be Star Trek until someone can bring back the optimistic Humanism and professional tact that made it so magical and compelling in the first place.

[@kingdomrains]

Review begins "section 31 begins in a parallel universe" And I'm out.

[@omrilapidot6770]

My mind automatically refuses to process "alternate universe", "parallel timeline" and all this modern, lazy crap.

[@ZeeroDubs]

Right? It was pretty cool like 20 years ago maybe. But it's an automatic pass now.

[@superbrainz2357]

​@@omrilapidot6770 Writers are just too scared to have one main central setting where events and consequences matter. If they ever get backlash it can now just always be excused that it's a alternate universe/timeline to justify its canon breaking bs. Same reason superhero comics are in the decline for many characters. Why do they matter if the writers can just go "nah" at any point?

[@Relkond]

'Parallel universe' - for the lazy writers who don't want to actually say 'I reject your reality and substitute my own'. If you don't want to work with the cannon lore, write your own story in it's own world.

[@ph1losopher]

The parallel universe episodes of any of the series are easily my least favorite. I'm sure they were fun to make being different cast roles, but they don't matter.

[@Bill_Oddie_Face_Mask]

Considering SkyDance - which is the company that suggested JJ and Kurtzman to reboot Star Trek in the first place - now owns the Star Trek IP, I suspect we've a ways to go before we reach Rock Bottom...

[@stevenscott2718]

Nah we have hit rock bottom they just have pickaxes

[@theliberator5725]

But nobody will notice anymore.

[@Cmdr1962]

Drill, baby, drill. They'll keep going with "dark" and "action-driven" for a while yet.

[@Ebalosus]

Why are we still here?...Just to suffer?

[@Biostasis5x7]

No they have more holes to dig. No one is watching this crap.

[@nolandavis1129]

Section 31 was much cooler when we knew less about it.

[@NurWahrheiten]

I was called "The 'Star Trek guy' in school back in the 90s" I never would have believed that one day a Star Trek film would come out that I refuse to watch...

[@Maybeabandaid9]

When I'm more excited for Drinkers review than the movie itself....

[@Pr011]

In the paraphrased words of Maximus - Roddenberry had a dream that was trek. This is not it. This is NOT it.

[@lukeario8614]

After the Borderlands movie, I thought we'd had enough femme fatales played by women far too old to be convincing.

[@NeoakiraIV]

To be fair this was green lit years ago probably during trumps first term

[@John.McMillan]

​@@NeoakiraIV They uh. They still didn't look good a decade ago.

[@mr.awesome6011]

We still have a few more years left of crap like this.

[@Stone7C1]

@@NeoakiraIV do they know that aborting it was an option at any point during that process though?

[@jjakes5589]

@@NeoakiraIV Ok the trump blame, gotcha. Blame trump for woke rubbish, sounds totally legit.

[@CloneTrooper-yz2ov]

You says this rock bottom for Star Trek, Alex kurtzman will show you can digger deeper into obscurity.

[@shan4680]

Yes, there's the danger this turns into "Challenge accepted!"

[@axelhopfinger533]

Kurtzman won't rest until he has dug Star Trek into the deepest, darkest pits of streaming slop hell.

[@jordanmoss2722]

"There's always a bigger hole,"

[@shan4680]

@@axelhopfinger533 Well, on the subject of Hell, it is on record that they did use some footage from Event Horizon in a Star Trek Voyager episode once (not *that* footage, though!).

[@kennieharris327]

I'm so over Michelle Yeoh. She is a tiny, aging human female. How does she go around kicking alien butt 3 times her size and 10 times her strength? It is too much for me to suspend disbelief.

[@aarondcmedia9585]

This is pretty much the critique for all modern audience girlboss movies, even when said girlbosses are injected into what should be boy boss movies, like John Wick sequel.

[@zaratustra27]

She made a lot of action movies back on the day (She's a former Bond Girl, btw) and played her own fight choreographies. This movie is not her peak, but I could totally buy her as the Wise Mentor who displays a glimpse of badassery at the right moment, just to let the viewers know she means business.

[@kaliss7192]

Plot twist. Better agents also entered the bar but she couldn't spot them. She basically hand picked the worst of the worst.

[@Slayer398]

LOL!

[@TimoRutanen]

The other agents quietly sharing a drink on the side going 'Dodged a bullet there, guys'

[@AbsentMinded619]

That would be a great plot for a funny heist movie. The big twist at the end is that the leader recruited the entirely wrong team and pulled off the whole movie with a bunch of schlubs.

[@WindFireAllThatKindOfThing]

"Annual ninja parade slips through awaiting crowd unnoticed"

[@janet6421]

@@AbsentMinded619 Actually I think that is the plot to "Crazy Stone" directed by Ning Hao in 2006. It's in Chinese and can be hard to follow the first time you watch it but it is insane and funny.

[@nathanaeldrown450]

Remember when Star Trek fans and Star Wars fans had a friendly rivalry? Back when we could have debates over whether Kirk or Luke was a better character? Or whether the Millennium Falcon or USS Enterprise was more iconic? Now both fan bases are just depressed. I hate Disney and Paramount.

[@patriciaa65]

“both fandoms are depressed”, Yup that sums it up

[@Jackaljkljkl]

@@patriciaa65 You could say the same for GoT and LOTR on the Fantasy side, or Marvel vs. DC (i.e. The Boys, etc.) on the superhero side. And that's not even mentioning Dr. Who. Plus Warhammer vs. DnD. Everything has been butchered - possibly intentionally.

[@PandaPanda-ud4ne]

@@Jackaljkljkl It was semi-intentionally. They wanted to replace the core audiences by telling them to fuck off or submit, all in favor of the "modern audience" they never found. It destroyed the Franchises completely. Now, they cannot even go back anymore, because they burned all the bridges. It´s a mess, and very likely it can´t be fixed, ever.

[@Jackaljkljkl]

@@PandaPanda-ud4ne My opinion is that the owners of these franchises didn't want them to be destroyed, but activists incorrectly convinced them that this kind of content/audience is the future (the jury is out on whether the activists themselves believed this). By the time the bigwigs realised that they had been duped, it was too late and the activists had moved onto the next franchise to hollow-out.

[@Billkwando]

@@Jackaljkljkl I gave up on Dr Who after (really during) Matt whatshisname.

[@Daniel_King.....1]

It's gotten to the point where the shows are soo boring that I don't even have the patience to listen to a full recap from the drinker 😔 how far we've fallen from the good ol days

[@colinconnolly892]

Luther Sloan and Section 31 at DS9, when the walls fell…..

[@RabbitShirak]

Shaka!

[@user295295]

That was a story. This is just drivel. Tis a shame that they weaponise our nostalgia against us.

[@psps6623]

I agree. Darmok and Jalad are most definitely NOT at Tanagra

[@figo2989]

"Who can't even manage Starbucks let alone star trek." had me rolling on the floor!!

[@--SPQR--]

Have you tried Ritalin

[@deadtoadsoup]

why hasn't Trump appointed them to his cabinet yet?

[@WalterEKurtz-kp2jf]

​@@deadtoadsoupNo , see he's only appointing good people, not make believe alphabet dei people

[@douglasrowland9986]

@@deadtoadsoup , where have you been the past 4 years?

[@VVeremoose]

Starfleet is a military organization, and the characters should act like it. Kirk was interesting because he broke the rules, and suffered for it. Picard was interesting because he FOLLOWED the rules, and suffered for it. Sisko was interesting because he found ways for the rules to follow him, and everyone suffered for it. Janeway was interesting because she was put in a position where there were no rules, and the entire quadrant suffered for it. But none of them were zany rogues firing off quips and doing whatever they wanted. And it's never going to be good again until they recognize this.

[@someguy4252]

... and they wasted a good plotline too. if they focused on the actual section 31 it coulda been a neat series showing why the "secret" police act the way they do as well as showing off the universes more shady aspects while pointing out sometimes the "best" choice is the lesser of two evils and all you can do is minimize the damage.

[@shadowharu]

And we all suffer for it.

[@thomasaddams8689]

I say again. Star Trek ended with Enterprise.

[@tulinfirenze1990]

And it was on life support even then.

[@0101_root]

@@tulinfirenze1990 You could say that, but it was a hundred times better than the slop they call Star Trek we have now.

[@wardjunior1450]

It’s dead Jim.

[@Klaaism]

I'm giving all she's got captain!

[@karachaffee3343]

When gas bubbles burp out of the bloated corpse of Star Trek, they call it dialogue...

[@jozsefizsak]

The "creators" have stressed with great delight that this is nothing like any Star Trek you ever saw. That's not the desire most of us have for the franchise, to make it utterly unrecognizable.

[@lilacdoe7945]

It confuses me, just make new IP instead of paying billions to kill IP of the past.

[@jozsefizsak]

@@lilacdoe7945 That simple and logical idea is more than they can comprehend. They think they're innovating. Dunning Kruger big time.

[@NinjaFlibble]

"Nothing like any Star Trek you ever saw" A: just like every serving of slop since STD was shat onto our screens. B: not exactly the best marketing line if you're trying to entice back fans that have checked out. We've had years of "not like Star Trek." I'm sure I speak for all of us when I say that we're ready to go back to the way it was.

[@NinjaFlibble]

​@@lilacdoe7945 Tolkien said it best "evil cannot create, it can only corrupt and destroy what good forces have made." (Paraphrased)

[@jozsefizsak]

​@@NinjaFlibble Imagine a restaurant departing wildly from expectations with every menu item. That would surely be a huge success. Or not. I'll have some of that salmon ice cream in preference to watching Section 31.

[@nick_the_padbreaker]

In my "Star Trek" timeline, the Voyager remains adrift in the Delta Quadrant, and everything that follows simply does not exist.

[@indiajohnson]

I tend to agree. All the temporal stuff really kind of started there and, as much as I kind of tolerated Enterprise, the temporal stuff warped things there too.

[@richyrich7260]

​@indiajohnson Enterprise got really good by the time they dropped the temporal cold war crap. It may not be perfect but it is a million times better than modern trek

[@indiajohnson]

@@richyrich7260 I've always been of the thought that some of what season 4 was should've been the blueprint/template for that show instead of what we got for the first 3 seasons.

[@xipheonj]

Enterprise was weird but I'm fine with giving that a pass as well, it was at least still Star Trek, they at least tried.

[@TimHammond-o4q]

True but Archer was so boring and so drab. The other two were very dull as well. And the uniforms just made it look like it was filmed in a plumbing academy.

[@moozillamoo2109]

"This Is Rock Bottom" Yeah never say that to overpaid and under-talented people.

[@thesteveruss]

I feel you ... There’s one thing I just can’t stand anymore: ornamental decorations [often in gold] on uniforms and armor. It is an indicator of exactly that. Whether it’s Star Trek, Star Wars, or anything else, everything feels like a bland mix of skintight, oversexualized, choreographed, narcissistic designs. Add to that stuntman action where everyone is some kind of overpowered superhero, a bunch of characters with mental issues and special needs, and the rest is just boring video game aesthetics and random crap crammed into the frame.

[@alexander0125]

you're right, its a trend. lookup what all the directors have in common

[@Sick_and_Twisted1]

"Visual diarrhea". There's so much crap everywhere you end up just glazing over it all as white-noise.

[@SterileNeutrino]

"ornamental decorations [often in gold] on uniforms" Don't those indicate "fascism"?

[@Nartanek]

'You officially hit rock bottom, the only way now is up.' Is that a challenge? Because they can and will always find a new bottom.

[@blademe]

They will mine down-word; they will seek to dig to the core. They must not be tempted!

[@gabagandalfoftheweed]

The showrunners: "Drill baby, drill!"

[@moozillamoo2109]

Yeah never say that to overpaid and under-talented people.

[@blademe]

@@moozillamoo2109 its like telling a kid don’t touch something. Thats giving them a green light and permission to do just that.

[@StajoLaBell]

The bar has been lowered so far.... only James Cameron can save us and the bar

[@bones10145]

You deserve our thanks for enduring this crap for us

[@charlesfavors6843]

I felt the passion in that "go away now!!".

[@urthondurdie]

The whole things was one of the Drinker's best vocal performances.

[@felixcosty]

It sound more like a cry for help. Maybe a vacation to a place with no movie theatres or internet for awhile.

[@chthulu27]

This makes me so sad because in the books, section 31 were certified badasses, taking on hardcore missions as effectively deniable assets, knowing most of their missions were likely total suicide runs because they only got called in when the stakes were THAT high. So sad.

[@Billkwando]

There were books?

[@chthulu27]

@Billkwando , for Star Trek? Tons! For Section 31 specifically, of that I'm not so sure. They did feature in a couple different books though that were not focused on section 31.

[@Billkwando]

@ At least it's rooted in something, but yeah, I knew there were books in general, but the only one I know personally is the audiobook of Imzadi, read by Frakes (highly recommended).

[@Stormyy6310]

"Little did Drinker know, rock bottom had in fact... NOT been reached"

[@tired_and_stressed]

My favorite part was at the end when Michelle Yeoh was burying the lightsabers and the lady walking her space camel in the desert asked her for her name and she said, "Michelle ........ Skywalker" and everyone clapped.

[@CruentusV]

6:19 - "the only way now is up". given their track record to date, that's a bold and likely foolish assumption...

[@prplprince8730]

Yeah seriously. You think they’ve reached rock bottom and here they are trying to limbo in hell

[@joeclaridy]

The irony is I loved Section 31 in DS9, how did it all go wrong?

[@Otokichi786]

Section 31 in TV lore, was a shadow organization, not unlike the Tokugawa-era Ninja. They didn't stand out in a crowd and could be spies or assassins as needed. This movie turns canon upside down and makes Yet Another Dumpster Fire.

[@braxxian]

That’s because DS9 did Section 31 right. DS9 did most things right. Today’s Trek is slop.

[@superbrainz2357]

Because DS9 had good writing for a majority of it.

[@nolandavis1129]

The writer’s obsession with shoving Section 31 in every piece of Star Trek media for the past 20 years is a part of it.

[@TheWeebinar]

@@Otokichi786 Which indicates, YET AGAIN, that Kurtzman possess a fundamental lack of understanding and reverence for the source material he uses to make his "projects".

[@EzekielIsaiah2812]

5:58 - "The more damage he's doinng to your IP." And your IQ.

[@thedragon133]

Everytime you say "This is rock bottom", all you do is throw them a shovel.

[@masterofpuppets5568]

Star Trek and Dr Who were two of my favorite shows growing up. Now look at them. I no longer have the interest to even hate what it's become.

[@TheJohn8765]

When I was a kid in the 80's, I'd stay up until 3am to watch Dr.Who (Baker-era) on my local PBS affiliate. Now, I can't even be bothered to watch how the BBC has defiled that legacy. All I know is that they've made it clear people like me aren't welcome in their weird little club. OK. Bye. Good riddance to bad rubbish.

[@NicolasMogensen]

To be fair, Doc Who was always a bit shite.

[@lovecchio420]

@@TheJohn8765 It really added to the Doctor Who experience as a kid. Staying up till 2am and watching a random episode, passing out as soon as it got to the opening theme. Waking up 20 min later when some green trashbag with eyes screaming and the synth blaring. Those were the days.

[@kikiuovaeriso903]

Doctor who died after capaldi left

[@FreeTheDonbas]

Did you like Trek in the 90s? Did you like DW in the 00s? Then you're the one than changed. Both have been trash for decades.

[@brookebear18B]

The growling "Go away now" killed me. Lmaooo

[@valorz6064]

Thank you DEI people for showing the world, that despite all the gifts we gave you and handouts you have taken, you still cant make a comparably good product. Thank you for showing us what you're really capable of, DEI... 👍

[@stevencorrea8032]

Thiers was a lot of diversity in the sundown town in North Caroline

[@PoolKid75]

Let this be the final nail in Kurtzman/Jar Jar/ Bad Reboot Drek. Decanonization must swiftly follow.

[@maxmazzotti6651]

Same for anything Star Wars made after 2012

[@thecloudtherapist]

Nah, it'll be fine. Guarantee you Paramount will find a way to dig through that rock bottom, for more disasaTrek.

[@Dowlphin]

If Hollywood never stops drilling, they'll eventually resurface in China. Oh, hey ...

[@loungecan]

Drinker, thank you so much for actually watching this for us. No freaking way I'm going to give it a chance. Couldn't be a better summary, really hope Paramount starts listening to their fans.

[@Irrashaimase1]

The sheer fucking hubris.

[@garym6315]

All the points you raised here could also be applied to Star Trek Discovery. Hence why most of us quit Star Trek after the first few episodes of that show. It wasn't just bad Star Trek, it wasn't just bad scifi, it was bad "entertainment" altogether. Is it really surprising anyone that they're still pushing out this shit?

[@leandercarey]

Who knew Hollywood would have so lost its way that Uwe Boll would be a visionary artist who created masterpieces on par with DaVinci by comparison with modern cinema. Comparatively, he was an absolute genius. He actually possesses filmmaking skills that Hollywood no longer has. 30 years ago it would've been unthinkable that his movies would be a level of cinematic quality orders of magnitude above the quality of cinema produced after 2010...

[@FeeNixBeech]

...so far. Sometimes, when you hit rock bottom, someone hands you a pick. They can get lower. XD

[@Uzarran]

Something tells me that Kurtzman has a diamond-tipped jackhammer on standby for the Starfleet Academy project.

[@freshcutgrass]

"There are FOUR lights Kurtzman!" Captain Jean Luc Picard

[@tuetensuppe6399]

Oh, you sweet summer child. It can always get worse. Humanity has proven to have a seemingly endless creativity in that regard.

[@All2Meme]

Or as Cat from Red Dwarf put it, "Man, you've got habits that would make a monkey blush!"

[@eagleofceaser6140]

Remember when Voyager was considered the worst of Star Trek. I miss those days.

[@joet7136]

Seriously! Voyager oh how we wronged you! Please come back!

[@lovecchio420]

@@joet7136 Voyager might not be TNG level, but it's fucking Shakespeare compared to Disco, Picard, and SNWs. It was real star Trek.

[@Billkwando]

"Get the cheese to sickbay!"

[@joet7136]

@@lovecchio420 I agree 1000%. Seven and the Doctor were a top tier Star Trek duo. Right up there with Kirk/Spock, Garak/anybody, and Archer/Shran.

[@All2Meme]

I'll take Captain "Duchess" Archer and Chief Shithead Neelix over JarJar Abrams and Alex "Shit for brains" Kurtzman any day.

[@jasonrodgers9063]

I gave the train wreck known as "ST Discovery" a fair chance, but turned it off halfway through the premiere episode, haven't watched since. I gave your review almost 4 minutes before turning it off. You saved me from wasting maybe 30 minutes of my life! I thank you!!

[@sirrathersplendid4825]

Snap! I got about halfway thru the 1st episode before turning STD off: figured my TV was at serious risk of succumbing to violence from my foot. It was totally absurd and scientifically illiterate from the start.

[@hanham963]

You are a harder guy than I am. i turned STD of 10 minutes into the first Episode and rewatched all three seasons of TOS to reset my brain.

[@sword_of_light]

I enjoyed Discovery for what it was. Not bad. Not great. Something to watch while I waited for more Strange New Worlds or Lower Decks. And some of the characters were interesting. Until season 5. I have rarely seen a show faceplant as badly as it did. My wife and I were both shouting at the screen on several occasions, and Burnham has dropped to my least favorite captain - a human raised on Vulcan who only thinks with her emotions? What could possibly go wrong? I see why Lower Decks relegated Discovery to an alternate, non-cannon reality.

[@RW77777777]

03:44 for me

[@donavandwelch]

Bless you Drinker. You literally couldn't pay me to watch this movie, but I take morbid pleasure watching your critique. Thank God I have OG Trek on DVD.

[@owenpancoast1163]

Every modern Star Trek film claims that every threat is the greatest threat the Federation has ever faced

[@braxxian]

It’s the same with Dr Who. Classic Who used to be about defeating monster of the week. With modern Who every story has the fate of the entire universe at risk. It’s such overblown bs.

[@superbrainz2357]

The shonen power escalation problem. This villain was so strong but this new villain is so much stronger despite the fact that the scope and scale of such a threat will appear the exact same if not weaker than the last or is incomprehensible to the audience.

[@sigmacademy]

The novels had a similar issue. Almost everything had the ability to "destroy the Federation"?

[@superbrainz2357]

@@sigmacademy It makes you wonder why an enemy with that kind of power isn't already ruling most of the known universe if destroying the federation is easy to them? The Dominion required three major galactic powers and many smaller ones, their supply chain for reinforcements cut off, and their leadership dying to beat. How could you ever possibly top that in terms of scale in a way that's satisfying and not a a$*pull?

[@justlivin2499]

When people say dead brand, Star Trek is what I think of. Sure Star Wars is dying but I still hear people talk about it in casual conversation, I hear none of that from Star Trek, it’s simply just dead.

[@NinjaFlibble]

Star Wars still has one thing that is generally popular with the non-modern audience "fans". That one thing is the Jedi video game series from Respawn. Star Trek doesn't have anything like that.

[@hanham963]

Lets just say New Trek is the cousin we dont take to town but he maybe family so we keep him around. Locked up in the basement that is.

[@fibonacho]

I never once heard _anything_ about this movie until this video popped up in my feed a few minutes ago, and I used to be a massive Star Trek fan.

[@justlivin2499]

@@NinjaFlibble those games are dope af, I love my redneck Cal Kestis

[@Eva01-jy2qu7pu9r]

Ever since Beyond, all roads led to this trash. Its absolutely sickening, but its expected at this point

[@charlton64]

That was the most frustrated "go away now" I've ever heard.

[@oscarpaz27]

Who didn't see this coming?

[@jamesmetcalf5597]

The usual, the people who made this disaster.

[@lotharrenz4621]

me, because I stopped watching Star Trek long ago.

[@Martyisruling]

The way she turns around in that chair, it makes me think the movie ends with her saying something like, "I already knew all of that. I've been playing you the whole time." It makes me feel like Austin in that moment in Austin Powers 2, where he tells Basil that Vanessa, the woman he married was a fembot. "yes sadly we knew all along." The face he makes is how i feel with every movie that comes out now a days. There's a handful of plot holes you just have to accept to get through any movie made beyond 2014.

[@DJWHITE_]

I paid so little attention that I thought it was a series. Who’d’ve thunk a trash trailer was for a trash ‘movie’?!

[@LordNelsonkm]

It's a movie? I thought it was going to be a 10 second webshort or something. It doesn't even *look* like Star Trek.

[@Billkwando]

Same here. Thought it was a new show which seemed odd for Yeoh.

[@BigBoss15310]

Michelle Yeoh, an otherwise world class actress, really ought to have a talk with her agent about the recent highs and lows of career. How does one go from Everything Everywhere All At Once, to Witcher: Blood Origin, to Wicked, to Section 31? Good lord lmao

[@mq1712]

Perhaps she just wanted to check off the "Dragon Lady" box on her resume.

[@dallassukerkin6878]

Well, I think she has a work ethic established way back when in her early martial-arts-flick years where number of movies rather than quality determined your status and income.

[@NicolasMogensen]

As Michael Caine once said "No, I have not seen Jaws 4. I have on the other hand seen the house it paid for, and that's terrific."

[@BuckyKronk]

To be fair, Wicked has been well received, even by the Drinker, and fared well at the box office. I don't care for whatshername who plays Elphaba, since she's a) ugly, and b) she found time to make a "how dare you" fake racist moment out of a fan's innocent, well-intended poster Photoshop. But the film was a hit.

[@UpTheDown7]

@@BuckyKronk OP was saying that Wicked was a hit but it was sandwiched between two pieces of crap

[@m0r1arty]

It was so bad that I want to forget Firefly now. There's homage, there's parody, there's a kid's schools show fumbling at something they hope their parent's will like, there's a last minute drunken rummage through the drawers to find something for that Halloween party and then there's a friend who just doesn't get it and dresses his poodle up as someone from Trek and brings them to your Banquet of the Chestnuts party. This was clearly a fully shot season that was dialled back as best as it could be to turn it into a 90 minute episode of something which will never be. I hope to freakin' V-Ger that this is the last we ever see of anything to do with Kurtzman Trek. I was already out and took to the high seas for viewing. I wished I'd capsized!

[@tonyhiggins3527]

Thank you for suffering through this so many of us are spared the pain Drinker!

[@jesterday2222]

Honestly, we already know very little is worthwhile anymore. At least I hope people don't need Drinker to know this.

[@craigsmith2107]

I hope they keep making content. Your takedowns are the stuff of legends.

[@Mortiel]

"This is rock bottom..." You, sir, dramatically underestimate how determinedly moronic Hollywood can be. They won't stop until they recreate "The Room" but in Star Trek.

[@ReadyPlayerDog]

Remember when studio's enjoyed making money and hired good writers to write good stories? Huh, it seems so long ago. My son is 7 now. We've been watching all the old classics. ET, Harry and the Hendersons, Star War 4-6. His favourite movie is the first Sam Rami Spider-Man. Dada's so proud!

[@markmunroe-hz8rf]

You're a good dad to let your experience true escapism

[@jesterday2222]

The Neverending Story is amazing for children too! And The Goonies of course ^^

[@ReadyPlayerDog]

@jesterday2222 Yes, yes! We watched the Goonies very recently. I forgot how many swear words are in it! You get sensitive to that stuff when you've got kids! But, we'd recently gone through a whole thing about that at home, so it wasn't a problem. Besides that, fantastic film. I've got Neverending Story on the back burner. He's a bit sensitive to scary stuff, and that wolf is a bit much! But, maybe I'm being over cautious?! We did Short Circuit, Flight of the Navigator, the Chronicles of Narnia movies, Toy Story, and more. He does swimming and kickboxing, btw, it's not all movies, lol. Don't want to sound like we spend everyday indoors! There are so many great kids films from the 80's and 90's. It's important to see them early because some of the special effects are a bit rough, but your imagination fills in the blanks when you're a kid. It's wonderful to watch them again through their eyes. I have a 4 year old girl and a 7 month old boy as well. My daughter joins us for the ones that are OK for her to watch, and I get to do it all again with little Teddy when he gets older. Any more movie suggestions, then please let me know! It's difficult to remember them all, and I don't want to miss something important. Oh, his favourite Star Wars was Empire! Kids got good taste already! My daughter's was ROTJ, but that's because she liked the Ewoks. She'll learn, she's only 4.

[@emixmim]

Anyone remember when Star Trek, inspired generations of people to go into STEM? When it inspired inventors, futurists and sociologists? When it was honored by naming a space shuttle after a ship in the series? Yeah, that was Star Trek... So immense was the cultural impact, it is a unique feat in history. And now... this... Says a lot about our society.

[@Ran-o4z]

I'm surprised we didn't get a 'halleluiah' after and upon the 'A Coma!'. Very sensitive/commendable to have cut down the incitement and craving a little in these troubled times Sir. Great form. I'll have one to your health and the many fallen here. ;) keep it up.

[@Kemot300]

Fans-“It’s dead" Bad Robot-"We can still use it" Fans-“It’s dead!" Bad Robot- "The flesh is rotting but it still manageable for display and puppeteering" Fans-“It’s dead!!" Bad Robot- "The skeleton can be reused" Fans-“Stop. It’s already dead!!!"

[@epstiendidntkillhimself20231]

just like the ending of casino

[@mirceazaharia2094]

*shocked skeleton noises*

[@RyanBrown2K5]

Sounds about right. Good luck convincing Paramount, though.

[@PaulGibbons]

I planned to not even bother with it. Thanks for taking one for the team though, Drinker!

[@BirbalBonifaceMusoba]

6:25 the classic go away now is back. We missed it the past few posts

[@calummacritchie7840]

"Go Away NAOOooww"

[@nederth3364]

0:57 Critical is on fire!

[@hemaccabe4292]

A total repudiation of every principle Star Trek stands for.

[@yaldabaoth2]

We hit Rock Bottom long ago. We're drilling to the core now.

[@Profitglutton90]

I’m somewhat glad I never got into Star Trek as a child because I’d be punching air right now with what they’ve done to the franchise. I feel sorry for the day one fans.

[@Kyle-sr6jm]

It really isn't a problem. Define your own cannon, and all is well. Star Wars ceased any new content when Disney bought it and Star Trek ended after Enterprise.

[@Profitglutton90]

@ I was never a major fan of Star Trek so their new slop doesn’t mean anything to me. Just sorry for the hardcore fans

[@chriskoschik391]

Us older fans still have hundreds upon hundreds of episodes to enjoy, so we are fine without this dookie lol

[@RabbitShirak]

@@chriskoschik391exactly. I'm rewatching The Original Series and boy, does it hold up! Well, ofcourse not always, but you need to give 50+ old show some slack.

[@chriskoschik391]

@@RabbitShirak so true! When we lie in bed at night, or early before work, we just cycle through TOS, TNG, DS9, VOY, and ENT. There’s enough episodes to keep things fresh and we always notice new things each watch through. Our favorite game is to identify recurring guest actors playing different aliens or characters lol. It’s fun!

[@francisdelacruz6439]

The question is, is it worse than the Acolyte?

[@Laxhoop]

“They’ve finally hit rock bottom”, don’t worry, they’ll start digging.

[@All2Meme]

Do you think they will eventually hit Hell, or will they keep digging after that?

[@H_MC_11]

0:40 what a mental image Drinker…

[@SF-jx6it]

I take it some of those “Characters “ were recruited from the “well received” recent Jaguar advert….?!?!🤣

[@thecursingexplorer]

I wish Gene Roddenberry was here to fix his franchise.

[@ajitbengali]

Pretty sure he's spinning in his grave.

[@derekmcfadyen127]

Dig him up !..... hed prob make a better go of it 😮😅

[@justsomeguy452]

Star Trek was at its best after he died though. I like TOS as much as the next guy, but Seasons 3-6 of TNG were when the franchise peaked.

[@joytarafder7485]

There would be no section 31 under him.

[@cchavezjr7]

Roddenberry's Trek was too idealistic to really be great drama and action.

[@KlNGOFTHEPIRATES]

One day these IP’s will be ridden of *THE MESSAGE*

[@ajitbengali]

Sadly it'll take a long time.

[@pattonramming1988]

Not in my lifetime

[@maxmazzotti6651]

@@ajitbengalidon’t give up hope!

[@randoir1863]

and by that time it'll be more even more irrelevant that Star Wars !

[@realistic_delinquent]

If you’re smart you won’t want to associate with the festering, decaying, putrid slimy husk that the disease of DEI leaves after it’s extirpated. Mourn now and find new franchises to like, because those you grew up with are headed underground.

[@shauncraigparkinson8165]

The Critical Drinker is speaking for EVERY Trekkie EVER!!!! THANK YOU. Paramount you utter moronic fools.

[@davidhogg657]

I dont normally laugh out loud at your reviews, much as I like them. This was hilarious though. Bravo

[@awesomehpt8938]

This is it. I demand that they stop making anymore Star Trek content. It’s gotta stop!

[@saddleyouruniverse]

TNGs "Tapestry" was on today. As the Nausicans blade entered Picards heart and the captain reacted with frantic laughter, I finally realised the connection to Nitsches concept of eternal return... and I had to laugh as well. 10 minutes later drinker reminded me of the existence of new trek ... thank you?!😮

[@samarthshetty1327]

Probably if they made the entire series from start again. With everything kept the same it would make more money than the shit that's coming out today

[@stevenscott2718]

even if they kept the casting the same sure the Nimoy scenes would be horrific and the scenes in enginering would be weird talking to an urn but it would still be better than this trash.

[@jarerarebear1765]

Star Trek went full Acolyte, you never go full Acolyte.