Self-care for autistic people

Self-care is a sort of trendy buzzword at the moment, used by advertisers to sell "little luxuries" to consumers, but self-care has an importance to autistic people beyond bubble baths and face masks (although those are nice)
When everything in the world sometimes seem too much to us - too loud, too bright, too awful-smelling - what are the steps we can take to take care of ourselves?
- Why do we need to prioritise self-care?
- And how can we do that?
- What even counts as self-care?

[@Dancestar1981]

I find we function better in small bursts of energy and then resting rather than constantly buzzing around which is tiring

[@anitamojsak6209]

Yes, this! Gets me into so much trouble at work, cause I can’t explain to people how I can do nothing for hours and than finish 10 h worth of work in 2 h

[@Dancestar1981]

@@anitamojsak6209 it’s something I’ve just learnt about myself as a female Aspie at 39

[@VeroTheSensitiveYogi]

So true

[@jedsanford7879]

Yeh me too. work dont get that tho. they like, we need 8 hours.

[@rkgomes3875]

AGREED!

[@shoshanafox727]

For me, self care means long walks in the forest.☺ 🌲🌳🏔

[@treespeak2848]

Yes, this.

[@chloenatasha7350]

Literally! This is my number one thing to do when I need to escape 😅

[@SweetiePieTweety]

Undoubtedly

[@jennifreesjourney9817]

And hours in my greenhouse up planting seedlings

[@dawidwsmole2248]

I don't like it that much.

[@treespeak2848]

I have always *loved* rocking chairs, gliding rockers, hammocks, hammock chairs, swings, etc. Now I know why.

[@L0rdOfThePies]

I like spinning desk chairs, rocking chairs scare me like I'm gonna fall xD

[@Tahonian80]

Same

[@Tahonian80]

Same.

[@katyoduinn3452]

Me too. I really want a beautiful full size rocking horse.... I have a real pony but I can't take him into my living room lol

[@katella]

I have hanging basket chairs, have put wheels on my living room chairs, and hung my bed from the ceiling beams so that it gently moves. Also put up a hanging bed in my garden. Am hoping to find a rocking chair for my porch. I spend zero time sitting still in regular chairs.

[@delilahhart4398]

For me, self-care takes the form of avoiding things that depress me or piss me off. That's why I stayed off of Facebook for a few days recently.

[@Jimbo386000]

Delilah Hart yeah, I have gotten off most social media indefinitely. The internet is full of terrible interactions.

[@BirdTho]

I had three Facebook accounts, one at a time, and wound up deleting all of them

[@genealogygeek6973]

I am off Facebook too.

[@user-ls7xf4lk6t]

Same here, 6 years and counting. I often completely forget facebook exists now and I honestly didn't think that was possible to achieve. 😂

[@ShellMaky]

Yeah I've ditched Facebook too and life is bliss, well,almost😁

[@euanelliott3613]

I am autistic and schizophrenic. I have no friends anymore and my relatives were a nightmare. I choose not to have romantic relationships as I don't understand the mindgames, strategies and dramas that go into them. I also fear intimacy very much. I am happy in my own space and I don't need anyone. I enjoy speaking to neighbours but it rarely goes beyond Good Morning. I like your wristwatch. As I'm on Olanzapine I can't eat what I like as I'll end up the size of a house and get diabetes, so I eat sensibly. I don't drink alcohol for the same reason, and as I'm also a singer my voice has benefitted from sobriety. I can only go on what makes sense and feels right, sometimes I have to balance the two but I usually get it right. Music is vital to my well-being and I have hundreds of CD's. I like it when magpies land on my roof, or when seagulls talk to each other around my flat. I don't know what they think of me, but I think they're beautiful. Bye XX.

[@brucedanton3669]

I know what you mean there of course too. I used to be on Olanzapine and gained weight too-I am not on it now though! Take care and thank you too of course!

[@jshir17]

The best thing we can do is stay home and not deal with people. I find eating healthy and exercising help too

[@etymological5908]

I've been alcohol-free for more than a year, but I relate to "liking myself better when drunk". It dulled both the sensory sensitivities and the internal narration, and I felt "less autistic". I could be sociable, outgoing, creative, sexual, etc. in ways I just can't seem to when sober. I've since switched to a different way to chill out - what I think you're referencing in the video - and I feel like I'm almost more autistic with it? I just turn entirely inward. It's not necessarily a bad thing - I'm more content than I've been in a long time - but my already limited socializing is just gone.

[@agsilverradio2225]

I don't need alcohaul to get "drunk." I would just go off my meds. Getting drunk dosn't apeal to me, and I don't like the taste of alcohaulic drinks.

[@bridgetbirchem272]

@Etymological what way is it that helps you now?

[@shannon9977]

I used alcohol just as you described it - I totally relate. And now over 10 years sober (I’m in my 50s) - I also feel “more autistic” than ever. I’m more inward focused (I journal a lot and seek out more solitary time, which I love). I’m also more proactive to make accomodations for myself and care for myself differently so I can mask less and find more enjoyment in day to day life. It’s a quieter and more introverted way of life but I do feel happier and healthier.

[@noabinnendijk361]

At the part where you say we're chatting here with you, so we're not *that* introverted, I would like to point out that introverts have social needs and communication needs too. Introverts just recharge by taking some time alone, extraverts recharge by socializing.

[@corriemcclain7960]

Yes exactly. Plus we had I think a full week notice of this "meeting" and the topic so there was plenty of time to get ready for something social of a sort

[@Nanamka]

And what if one needs both?

[@tabitas.2719]

@@Nanamka introvert/extravert is a scale or a line, so it's a continuum. :) Therefore it actually is more normal to need both. You might be balanced. Or for example, an extraverted autistic person might be mistaken for an introvert pre-diagnosis as they need a lot of time to recharge, too. :)

[@TheGratefulTuber]

Hi! I’m an autistic female physician. I have never heard anyone who thought as much like me! I am an extrovert- gain my energy from connecting with people, but I get easily overwhelmed with trying not to say the wrong thing (which I commonly don’t realize), and confusing emotions. Your videos have been a guiding and centering light during this tough time of change and uncertainty being an essential healthcare worker during COVID-19.

[@belindakent2786]

Am struggling rekognise your Front Line. Am still staying in. For over two years

[@belindakent2786]

I used to feel out seeing the best of people Now see humans S Covidd bags. Mental Health is PTSD covid Anxiety with being not usefull to Economy.

[@Noudist]

"You don't need that." If I stopped listening to these kinds of statements I'd have developed planning strategies and social skills ten years earlier.

[@Dancestar1981]

We tend to be all or nothing type of people so becoming addicted to things seems to be very common issue.

[@fionafiona1146]

So true! My Sauer dough phase got quite strange.

[@anitamojsak6209]

I think this is an important thing to understand and was a game changer for me: I’m not introverted at all, I‘m an extroverted autistic person. I just need to get the energy somehow to live out this extroverted side and often I just don’t have the energy and avoid interaction. The problem is not people, it‘s being exhausted by all the unimportant interactions with the „wrong“ people which we have everyday at work or anywhere outside of the house. If I can do things that are more relaxing for me (meeting for a forest walk and not at a loud bar), I do enjoy the company of the „right“ people. Something I didn’t understand for 36 years of my life.

[@HeatherLandex]

Yes

[@ElsieDee001]

OMG - I’m 67 and after listening to a couple of your videos,I really think I’m autistic! It explains everything!

[@eiosti]

Mm I actually do need help with the basic things like that still. I wasnt raised very forward. The moment I grew old enough to do things myself, my parents sort of dropped responsibility. Which is partially why I so much believe the lie that if I just had a diagnosis, everything would be easier. I've always known I was disabled by SOMETHING, and it wasnt until very recently I realized it was autism. Finally I have a reason, not an excuse, but a genuine reason, to only have the spoons to shower once a week if I'm lucky, and need some kind of proxy to do almost anything. I'm only 21, but I'm four years past the "age of independence ". My family still views my autistic traits as negative quirks they have to put up with, because for some reason I haven't chosen to get rid of them yet. I guess for me, self care is recognizing when I need a proxy and asking for help before it's too late.

[@jennifreesjourney9817]

Hi can you explain further what you mean by “proxy” it sounds like what I experience in “borrowing someone else’s will” in order to do something. Does that sound like what you experience?

[@eiosti]

@@jennifreesjourney9817 yes, that is exactly what I mean! It's crazy looking at this comment 10 months later, as I've now had a diagnosis for some time and it really has made a difference

[@MissMeganBeckett]

Knitting, if you are familiar enough with it to do it without much thought is great. Makes it look like you’re doing something productive when you’re tired and needing to be just left alone. I like the polyester dishcloth yarn for scrubby dishcloths and make twenty stitch wide squares in seed stitch. One knit, one perl, one knit, repeat etc.

[@alexpert]

Being 72 and just finding out what happened to me to live the catastrophe that my life had been, I find all you say and think quite helpful to anyone needing it, but kinda 50 years too late for any useful sense for me. and crying.

[@Dancestar1981]

Alcohol is a depressant but it lowers your inhibitions and can help you relax. I always found I was so sensitive to it I would be drunk after one or too drinks

[@keithoverman8394]

It is so refreshing listening to another autistic person, I can totally relate to all of what you are saying.

[@NL2500]

After my school education, I rested for 8 months and then I was ready to get started again. My vacation is doing nothing at home. And 5 years ago I switched my work schedule to 4 days x 9 hours and then 3 days off that I usually spend at home alone, it's a good balance for me. Still, I don't see myself as an introvert, and I like to help others when asked and enjoying being with certain high energy people can be kind of infectious.

[@user-lk9wy7hi1d]

I recently discovered your channel and am undiagnosed (pretty sure I have ASD or something similar). Your videos have made me feel so much better about myself. Please continue making videos because they’ve made a huge difference for me, and I’m sure many others.

[@LoveYourGround]

"So awkward - good job I've got wine." A true kindred spirit.

[@Dancestar1981]

Some times we’re damned if we do, damned if we don’t disclose

[@-melanie-1115]

It is funny how relaxing and energizing your live videos are to listen to. Also, I learn a lot! Thanks.

[@YoSamdySam]

Thank you, that's very nice to hear!

[@josefschiltz2192]

I'm glad that you brought up the increased expression of the downside of being on the spectrum in relation to an increase in responsibility for another human being, in your case, a child. My own experience was having to care for an elderly member of the family with the personality of a block of stone. The outward expression of familiarity with what I had been sacrificing over the many years that I had to do everything for her, and be her interlocutor with the rest of the planet, was practically non-existant. If I exhibited any frustration with the home situation then it would be somewhere else in the house - where I would phase out briefly - and then return. I did blow up once and pointedly challenged her, ended with "What am I here for?" - actually meaning my point of existance! She moodily responded, "To look after me". My natural response, mentally was "That's it?" At one point after this, I did actually 'remove' a door from it's hinges, tearing it open with an angry exit. I never, ever, respond with violence unto a person, that's not in me and would horrify me! All I could do was maintain this enduring discipline. Finally, I was rescued by a cousin, who lives at a great distance and was unaware of how bad the situation had got. The truth of the situation had him drive across the breadth of England from the West Country and sit around a table with social services. That was the start of my release from hell. She was placed into a care home, much to her resentment and hostility and, finally, I have moved from the place. My cousin has remained in contact ever since and I have learnt in the intervening years that I have Asperger's Syndrome, having been suspicious of various themes in the family over many years, which have also carried on further in the younger generations on my cousin's side of the family. The problem I am now going through is C-PTSD and chronic exhaustion. The recurrent nightmares are lessening. My caree has since passed away, having caught a bad virus in the care home that carried her off. I have just finished the move, shifting 110 years of family history with some invaluable assist from a friend. I think the stress hormones are dwindling in there effect and I'm left with an overall feeling of waste of a life, at a point where people are saying "well done!" and "I couldn't have managed for that long with what you were doing!" Here am I thinking, "Yeah, but I'm sixty and WTF do I do now? I have this different environment and 'out' of the constant stress. I haven't the will to do anything more positive about it. Sit numbly and mask out the 'what could haves'. I think that I endured because, although it was deteriortive to my health, it was familiar, I knew what was expected in the routine of caring and I became trapped. I knew full well that she wouldn't survive without me being there, knew she wouldn't accept strangers and felt, because I was family, that it was my absolute duty, above all other, to be there. Just before she died, she assaulted a dementia patient who had wandered into her room by mistake. At her funeral, the hearse got stuck in the mud and all the pall bearers had to push. I turned to my rescuer, standing next to me. "Well," I said, ruefully, "That has to be her final comment on the situation!"

[@lovelife9332]

I just saw this video and it makes me feel so much better that I’m not alone in this world dealing with this disorder. Energy conservation is a good key term that makes sense. I used to be so hard on myself for not getting things done, but now that I know I have autism it helps me to know it’s because of that…not being lazy, etc.

[@kdcraft89]

Totally agree about therapy. It helped me solve a couple of specific problems, but the last therapist clearly had her own agenda of me having more socializing. My job was all I could handle of social contact. I needed the weekends to recover. So invalidating/gaslighting, Having had pressure to socialize all my life, it's a relief to realize that I'm normal, a normal autistic person, that is. I saw that you can make your own weighted blanket, exploring further. Another way of self-care for me is not reading the news, occasionally read the headlines. The media have heightened the fear factor in order to gain clicks and addict people. Cancelled my digital subscriptions to 2 major papers. Now I see people in my life going ballistic over the news (they are autistic, too) and it's vey unpleasant to them and to me to see them made even more anxious than they were. People should measure their blood pressure before and after reading the news. Real eye-opener.

[@lifelovejourney]

I love listening to you. We are so much alike!!!! I haven't been diagnosed Autistic yet. Not sure if I'm pursuing diagnosis or not. I'm 53, "high functioning," but it explains A LOT!!

[@drbarney1000]

I could never live in a group home. Unless I am isolated I can't live in an apartment. At an Autism Society of America conference was revealed an autistic woman confined to a group home where her life was so micromanaged she was ordered to go to a dance when she hated the dances and almost certainly the kind of music at such a dance. She was written up for noncompliance. We all deserve and need to choose our own culture and our own definitions of ourselves. The condescension and outright racism against autistic people no matter their absence of intellectual handicap induces normal people to decide for us what is best for us and how we should live. The last job I was forced to quit because my boss wanted me to get rid of my house. He said my choice of architecture, which he assumed typical of something an autistic person would live in, was bad for my professional image as a university professor.

[@SweetiePieTweety]

My biggest energy drain is when I expose myself to other’s opinions of what I should be doing from the micro to the majors. And this exposure is the simple act of engaging in conversation about my daily experience of life. It is the eternal frustration... due to disability in areas of being able to self sustain one is then under the microscope of those who do not understand your needs and limitations and feel compelled to direct you on what your life should be. It is the one thing that lends me to suicidal desires 😔. Yet, I feel I am supposed to be grateful for their support and I am but it comes with a great price to my psyche

[@dirigible806]

I am so horrified by this! I had assumed that my two masters degrees and PhD would protect me from such things I guess I was wrong. How is this even legal?

[@drbarney1000]

@@dirigible806 It may be illegal but nobody will bother to enforce it. This is why I put junk culture music in the same category as child pornography. Like holy roller religion when it is forced down peoples' throats that is all the proof I need that it is invalid.

[@sergeyfox2298]

You're very analytical and I appreciate that you are explicit in your communication. Love it.

[@tiiaj7589]

I consider myself an introvert, but I’m the same in that certain people/discussions do energize me.

[@Dancestar1981]

Weighted blankets work like the farming crushes that Temple Grandin designed.

[@delilahhart4398]

I recently got one. I don't know if the extra weight has helped me sleep better, but the extra warmth is nice during chilly nights.

[@Jimbo386000]

It’s really helped me. It just makes me feel... safer? Idk

[@garyfrancis5015]

James Corcoran ironical Temple Grandin inspired the idea of weighted blankets with her squishy machine. About how pressure helps on the body,

[@fionafiona1146]

Remind me to Update after Christmas, I have scary high hopes

[@szeszelos]

kzbin.info/www/bejne/ZmqogmOKnpWepK8 No comment, I'm introvert.

[@99SIGNcoUK]

My self care for this afternoon is listening to your amazing informative rambling, thanks have only just found your change and it’s the best

[@ChristinQuander]

Hey everyone and Yo Samdy Sam, what a valuable channel - thanks so much for what you're doing! One little remark about those weighted blankets as I recently looked into getting one myself - if you have cats (w/fleas or w/o;), they shouldn't be allowed underneath those blankets. It's dangerous, as well as for kids 5yrs or younger. Also, if you have asthma and a number of other health issues, everything from kidney issues to a slipped disk, then this blanket is not for you. Tbh, I was quite shocked at the sheer number of conditions you shouldn't have to use it. Long story short, I ordered (an also very expensive but 100% natural) hemp blanket, it's a combined blanket (summer + winter blanket, which you can separate) which is super warm and heavy. The list of things one shouldn't suffer from is from a german page (Gravity Decke / gravity blanket) which is filled with the same tiny glass particles: "so if the kid is 5 years or younger or weighs 20 kgs or less, parents should always supervise the use of the blanket at all times. if children use them on their own, they should always be able to remove them themselves. people with diabetes type 2 in an advanced stage shouldn't use it as the circular flow (bloodstream) is lower. people with a so called diabetic foot shouldn't use it under any circumstances. we also advise not to use this blanket if you're suffering from asthma or sleep apnea. people with kidney problems (especially dialysis patients) should consult their doctor on whether they can use the blanket. If you're suffering from arthrosis or slipped disks, a weighted blanket can worsen your symptoms, you should also consult your doctor prior to the use. One should always be able to remove the blanket oneself."

[@khalyasongofnerdsandwriter5473]

3 kids, two autistic (5 and 6) and I’m starting the assessment process myself “as we speak”. It’s not easy and as many people may say “well you can relate to your autistic kids”, on some levels, yes - in absolute total, no and it makes things even harder. I can empathize and provide support when they’re having a “moment”; but if I can’t L i f e on my own, how do I teach my kids to? It’s not easier to raise autistic kids and being autistic yourself. It has another level of challenges for some of us, that may not be present in other people’s.

[@sarinalight7422]

Self care to me is taking Care of my T1D & learning different sorts of things. I was just talking to someone about waking each day is *Like* Celebrating my Birthday. I was repeatedly told to take care of myself, So I did. Now that I am taking care of myself, I’m told I’m being selfish. (smh) I Love to hear how other Amazing individuals here are caring about their needs more. Thank you Sam. Perfect topic👍🏼

[@ms.buoyant]

Omg! Your channel has lifted my depression. I have realized that I have autism and its going to change my life for the better. I feel normal hearing you.

[@noconnell874]

This is the best comment I’ve seen all day! I’m so happy for you 🥲

[@mantha8583]

Hi, love your videos, my daughter is currently on the waiting list for the Autistic Pathway to get tested for Autism and since watching your videos I have realised that I may have Autism, I went to my Doctor today for my mental health review and she asked me about my circle of friends and when I said that I only have 2 friends because I don’t do well in large groups (while playing with a silicone sponge while taking to her) she gave me a form and asked me to fill it out at home and bring it back to my next appointment. Until watching your videos I have never thought myself could be Autistic as well as having anxiety and depression since I was a child (diagnosed as young adult) so I would like to say thanks for your videos they have really opened my eyes 👀 to Autism for my daughter and myself.

[@plynnmiller7563]

I have found that getting a hammock to sleep in every night that I can swing in has upped my sleeping quality tremendously! I really want a swing/rocking chair, just find the back and forth movement very soothing.

[@Dancestar1981]

Balance and coordination is an issue for us

[@jobrienchem1]

Are you able to summarize the main findings of these long interviews into a short follow-up video? I'm not able to follow this and pick out the best points for this amount of time. Thanks.

[@lovelife9332]

I went to school for Occupational Therapy and the weighted blankets are inhibitory for the body. The pressure/weight calms nerves. Just like a warm blanket, a lamp lit room vs a bright room. It’s another way to dull the hypersensitivity physically. I also have autism, so everything you are saying sounds so much like me!

[@yvonnefederowicz8765]

I love the weighted blanket discussion. Here's my pseudo-scientific explanation: some of our cold-climate ancestors felt, and were, safer sleeping in clumps with other group members. I know that having a warm plump cat on me has always been one of the best things in life!

[@wellsonwheels457]

Showering and getting ready is such a chore!! I hate it. I do it 😉 but I have to make myself. Leaving house is hard, usually I’m glad when I make myself it’s just getting going

[@micheller3251]

I was talking with a friend about those days when you just know you'll feel worse and worse as the day goes and he came up with "there's no point in hitting a wall with a plastic spoon" which really made me laugh

[@SweetiePieTweety]

This is my favorite video you have uploaded. It is packed with REAL. It is incredibly relaxing and affirming for me to listen to when I need to unpack the overwhelm and validate my reality. Your edited video content is awesome but the repetitive edits make me nervous. 🥰

[@hisnewlife3543]

I am trying to think of business ideas that I can do to earn a living. I can’t seem to keep a job. I think going it alone is my only way out and I am also awaiting to hear of I have been accepted to two universities from graduate school. Academia suits me. I hope to maybe combine academic work along with writing and research and also use some of my design and artistic skills. Maybe youtube will be a good way to combine these interests and not have to go in for work and stay home for work.

[@katie1068]

I'm binge watching all your videos after realising I may be autistic.. AFTER thinking I may have ADHD.. I also have PMDD. I feel you're a mirror of myself! I would LOVE you to talk more on PMDD and autism. I've been feeling ADHD and ASD are the same.. based on what i've learnt so far - and a recent 2020 Nature paper proposes this too). Anyway - I'm going to be doing a post-doc in PMDD, so I'm researching it a lot. A quick, small theory I have - what if PMDD is also just autism? As you say it's very high prevalance in autistic people. Maybe 'NT' people with PMDD are just undagnosed autistic? I would never have guessed I could be autistic - based on my (terrible) knowledge. Just a thought - I'm super new to autism! thank you for all your videos - I'm really enjoying them!

[@rhuechantal6316]

I appreciate what you are doing so much. Just being able to have these conversations is very helpful. It helps me to put together the missing pieces in my life that left me alone, hurting and withdrawn even when I yearn to reach out. I agree. Energy management is a key to understanding ourselves, others and self care. Meyers Briggs assessment is tremendously helpful to understanding our social dynamics and energetic needs. You might love it!

[@Dancestar1981]

Crocheted blankets in layers on the bed are a cheaper and just as effective alternative

[@fionafiona1146]

Cheaper how? I think I paid 90€ and would imagine it would take a lot of blankets to get to equivalents

[@MissMeganBeckett]

Crocheted blankets are usually made from acrylic yarn, aka the itchiest fabric known to mankind.

[@rkgomes3875]

RE: energy accounting - I schedule things in my Google Calendar RELIGIOUSLY, INCLUDING ‘Do Not Disturb’ time (which is my time to recharge and disconnect). During those times I use the ‘Do Not Disturb’ on my phone so I am not distracted or interrupted. So, my Google calendar IS my energy accounting method. I will also include how I feel in the ‘description’ area of the calendar so I know how that particular event made me feel.

[@BlaBlaBlaTheEnd.]

Hello Sam, I’m from Sydney Australia.. I’m up late enjoying my own company and I have just found you today and I’m over the moon with your wonderful content and fantastic, honest and genuine care ❤😊 I am going to binge watch all of your videos and stuff 🥰

[@Robertkopp84]

Hey Sam i noticed you did apologize for playing with your hair tie. If it's destracting we will minimize the window and just listen. It's allright when you need a fix.

[@euanelliott3613]

For me, self care was learning how to live alone without that all encompassing longing for someone in my life. I live alone, eat alone and sleep alone. And i am tickled by the thought that when I die, I will be undiscovered for so long, the smell of my rotting corpse will send my finder to the bathroom to lose their lunch with gutteral wretching so loud, the entire neighbourhood will be utterly compelled to join in. Ha ha haa...

[@fionafiona1146]

How did you lean that, if I may ask? I hate sleeping alone (weighted blanket for christmas might help), being without living, breathing (or at least Podcast/audio book) talking company... Sufficiently full filed by my boyfriend and his discord contacts but therefore not guaranteed (if reassuringly reliable).

[@rebeccamoore7763]

Hi..r u ok to be so isolated?

[@tabitas.2719]

About accounting energy - look up the energy bank; I've only made a list though (generally speaking). The hurdle to me seems to get into the habit of actually looking at it and figuring out how much energy was spent/gained in the evening.... and then plan the next day from that. xD Thanks for all your awesome content!! PS: two months later I can say that I find it to be worth it! Personally I do the accounting on a spreadsheet now and distinguish between physical, mental and emotional energy. There are days I'll be sloppy or forget something, but the numbers are a good guide line to go by and help me be more aware of how much to plan the following day etc :)

[@teribartusek1125]

Thank you for sharing !

[@jimreyes204]

Hello Samdy, Jim Reyes from Santa Rosa CA, a little drunk myself at the moment. in 2019 I met a girl who, for the first time in my life, had told me was autistic. Since then I have been watching your videos. I think your videos are badass, and (I have no official diagnosis) whether or not I am autistic, relate to what you are saying, and find your advice on life management useful. BTW, in one of your videos, you said you watch KZbin videos in 2x timing, but I find myself watching your videos in .75x time. Regardless, autistic ppl are some of the greatest ppl I think exist!!! Much love

[@rwithers3]

Thank you for your rambling...it's pleasant to listen to....

[@honestbeam]

How get back on task after you've fallen off because you have mentioned that you've missed days and then gotten back to it, you make it sound easy! :) Amazing live stream. Wish I could've seen it LIVE. Damn

[@zechariahtienter755]

I can hear you. Loud and clear love !

[@lindakrumenauer1099]

I live in wisconsin u.s.a. your program is very important and helpful to me. ( And im in my 70s! You are helping me!

[@anitamojsak6209]

Thank you. Your videos are more helpful than things therapists/psychologists/autism specialists have said to me. „The System“ is not really helpful, listening to autistic people describing these things from „our“ perspective is such a different experience.

[@ashleyp1203]

My hammock is one of my favorite places to be. Very calming.

[@tudibelle]

Very late to the party, but I have been doing energy accounting for the past couple of weeks, and I find it helpful. I like the spell slots variation of the spoon theory to describe how different tasks take different energy. I just write against tasks in my BuJo a number in a circle (usually 1-3 scale) for how tired I feel after each task or how much thought it took. I also record meltdowns with an ! and the trigger. I total them up each day and add the number to the monthly log. At the moment I am just logging it, with the hope to raise my awareness, longer term I want to use it to be more intentional about rest.

[@eddieclark9802]

Greetings from Dallas Texas USA, Sam. 62yo ASDer/clueless genius. 😁 Fairly new to your scene and already subscribed to you. Thank you for sharing your story and thoughts. 🤗🤗🤗

[@zechariahtienter755]

I also watch utube a lot that's how I found you on utube yayyyy!! Your a awesome Sam !!

[@honestbeam]

im enjoying watching this alot, ALWAYS AMAZING and so great to listen to. So relatable

[@BlackChrRaw]

I started drinking at a time when I really didnt know what I felt. Everything was mashed together. Drinking made clearer what I felt, which helped me a lot. Right now I don't know if I should stop drinking or not, although I'm in the process of applying for help for autism. Can you do a video about medication? I have had different medicines. The best thing I can say about it is that it pushed my feelings even further away, so I couldn't see meltdowns coming and other people couldn't see them happening.

[@BaskingInObscurity]

I grew up camping a lot, so crickets and cicadas are my choice for sleeping sounds if I need more. I have had tinnitus as long as I can remember, so I need some sort of white noise anyhow, preferably a fan.

[@barbarafinigan8786]

Christophe , was always exspected to be his best he was treated like all the other kids he is now at university and also a docent at the state capitol.. doing great

[@sarinalight7422]

I talk so much at times it annoyed me. Probably because I get nervous I can ramble. I went to a school to be a message therapist, once the person on table started asking questions,.I felt strongly I wouldn’t be able too many people relax. I’m grateful I had the experence👍🏼

[@fridamartins9834]

My thoughts evolve as I watch this video, and I have been working on several visual ways of doing energy accounting, would love to hear from more people who have ideas to the effect

[@delilahhart4398]

Can a person change from an extrovert to an introvert? When I was a kid, I was extremely outgoing, but after years of bullying and rejection, I've grown contented with my solitude.

[@towaLink]

From what I know (this is what I managed to express, might be wrong), when we are children we don't have a sense of self or an actual fully-developed personality. What we have is a temperament, or a tendency. Life experiences can change these tendencies, specially something as damaging as bullying. So it's not changing from extrovert to introvert, but more like those experiences (and the coping mechanism you utilized) change the outgoing tendency into a more reserved one, and then that tendency solidifying itself the more you grow, until it actually becomes your personality (and you can end up called an introvert per se). There's also the question of your energy intake. An extrovert can learn to grow content with their solitude, just like an introvert can learn to find joy in socializing. But the energy in-take might still remain the same.

[@delilahhart4398]

@@towaLink Thank you. That makes sense.

[@feliciaschoenfeld5177]

This sounds like you're alone because of fear, not because it's good for you, or because of personality traits.

[@zechariahtienter755]

I own both a wooden rocking chair to as well as a. Rocker huge brown recliner love them both too. !!!!!

[@fionafiona1146]

Rocking is awesome!

[@staceykennedy3289]

I love to socialize that way too. Cheers 🥂

[@jennit.i.murphy118]

I have a 15 lbs weighted blanket that I bought at the CVS pharmacy for about $60 US. And it's actually pretty nice. And I've seen some in a few stores such as Walmart, and Roses/ Maxway for cheap and they were decent quality.

[@moundchap]

Okay I know I'm super late to this party, but I reached the bit about female characters in media who are autistic, and I have to promote one of my fav characters: Parker, from Leverage (and from Leverage Redemption, but haven't watched it yet). I really enjoy how she embraces her 'oddness' which is just her being herself, and as the team gets to know her better, they accept her for who she is. It's a very different, 'quirky' autistic character just doing her thing and thriving. There's some episodes where she struggles with a NT or social aspect, and the team helps her to learn about it (like one where they coach her on how to make friends on a juror team). I personally really relate to Parker a lot! So....yeah, if you see this, I recommend watching Leverage :)

[@sandrastevens6815]

Hi Sam I’m from Shingletown California love your videos I’m learning so much I always thought I was a bit different but had no idea why , my son is 18 and he was diagnosed with high functioning autism (ppd-no’s) when he was in 1st grade but before this his symptoms, he did not talk till he was about 3-4 and even then it was only single words , he lined things up in the bathtub, loved trains and cars now it’s Xbox , when he was young he would not stop for his name , would bump into people ( now I know it was him saying let’s play) he would start playing with others then basically drift off to himself was always kind loved to line up pencils and build things oh he also loved legos and still does . Some how I could relate to him. But knew he needed some help I put my blind folders on so to speak and started to get some help when he was in kindergarten, with speech therapy, and in first grade his teachers started to wonder about autism , I watched a video on autism and it was like that’s my boy travis , we got far northern then a final diagnosis from a psychologist who knows autism. Now we have help and it’s been a learning adventure, I’m 54 and now started watching videos like yours and now I am pretty sure i have autism. I was shy when I was young , could not catch on to sarcasm , still not god at it , loved younger friends , I was quiet , I did become a nurse because I love to care for others and babies . Im so happy I found your video love ya💝

[@fridamartins9834]

I only see this video now, but the sound is very clear and the theme is very good. Hello from Iceland and yes, please, make a video about extroverted autists because I'm a total chatterbox (but very exhausted after meeting people) and often get the feedback "You can't have autism, you can talk"

[@reflectiveFrankC]

A good therapist listens and asks good questions. People find their own answers. This might help your direction. Your good questions come from your life lessons.

[@rojimenez5700]

If you do this on Friday nights? I'm down! I'm turning my bell on!

[@rkgomes3875]

That’s so crazy!!! I have rain and thunder noises play when I am sleeping. It’s very soothing.

[@tiiaj7589]

Ok. So, since it was brought up again... I am making a “health tracker” journaling thingy as I have a lot of health issues. This could either be an energy accountability by another name or be adapted to help with that, I’m sure.

[@HeatherLandex]

Irlens syndrom is the colour tinted glasses interesting tunnel to go down. I've the overlays & a book to read...irony...need the overlays to tolerate reading. No practitioners near me though. I want those glasses! It will definitely help.

[@shelbytimbrook2095]

Every time I hear about something that will help, like when you were talking about planning out your day and anticipating your needs, I find that I'm already doing that and I feel like I'm at my breaking point still. Feels bad to find lots of tips that you're already subconsciously doing and thus can't find anything to help.

[@VanessaChats]

1:21:35 In re: weighted blankets for Australians - I found mine at Spotlight (retail store). Can recommend. I sleep with it on me every single night even the hot ones (I'll have my feet sticking out from under me). Also, self-tying (rope bondage) can be incredibly soothing too as it is literally like hugging (compressing) yourself.

[@delilahhart4398]

I'm not watching it live, but hello from North Little Rock, Arkansas, USA.

[@julesbartl9431]

The airport thing admittedly got me triggered! :D I used to love flying. You did everything in the same order every time and everything is pretty organised. Then some airports redesigned their layouts so you are FORCED to go through a huge duty free bit with a (often glittery) snaking path to slow you down. Equals getting stuck in sweaty crowds while getting disorientated, irritated by the inefficiency and what feels like temporary imprisonment for greed, and assaulted with nauseating lights, sounds and most of all the hideous smells of all the perfume. By the time I make it out the other side I'm knackered and actively trying not to puke. :/ Luckily there's often a tech shop the other side where I can try out headphones and stare at cables to calm myself down, or an outdoor shop where I can feel up different fabrics. Yay. :) Lol.

[@katielynneyoung4738]

Airports are my nightmare!

[@delilahhart4398]

I think therapy can be effective if you've been diagnosed and are seeing a professional who actually knows about autism. In my case at least, I've found the mindfulness and breathing exercises that my therapist taught me helpful in managing meltdowns. Rational emotive therapy and CBT exercises have also helped much of the time.

[@YoSamdySam]

CBT and mindfulness were helpful up until a point. But I think they have some limitations for autistic people

[@winterjohnson6381]

@@YoSamdySam can you go further into this?

[@chrisbolger2265]

Love your videos thanks

[@noabinnendijk361]

The one who was local to you last time was probably me. I live in the Netherlands too, didn't catch this stream in time though

[@YoSamdySam]

Ah that's probably why I got mixed up!

[@danielmikkelsen5470]

I think the weighted blanket is about bodily awareness that triggers some things. Like with workout on a matt, for example with a medicine ball, where you co-activate many muscles, I find extraordinary rewarding

[@ZubinMadon]

Great to listen to this... 3 years later

[@abigailbarfoot3846]

I hyper focus on certain relationships and subjects. I’m a mother of two my oldest is 7 and was stillborn and my younger six year old we both have Bosch boonstra Schaff optic atrophy syndrome, I have Aspergers dyspraxia ocd Heds (higghly likely and maybe fibromyalgia as well as sensory processing disorder and being partially sighted. I am a single parent. I struggle with friendships I have a few from school and other settings. I hate have manage people in my life not knowing how is genuine other people even other neuro diverse but even more with neuro typical. I feel fatigued all the time even when I sleep relatively well even with child who often ends up in my bed. I have support how come in morning and evening as well as five hours enabling once a week to Help me to keep in top of the household tasks and writing lists booking appointments and attending meeting and potting when to rest it works harder. I have support for my daughter too to give me a break. I go under my weighted bracket use my foot spa, massage matt and home gym stuff I just brought. I also ask my enable for a pressure hug or to sit quietly with me and have a hug with certain appropriate comfort to calm down especially this year when I have been able to see family and friends

[@Crashbarrier09]

I would loooove absolutely love for there to be more studys about actually living with autism not trying to delete it. and discussing living with it and working with it not fighting it and forcing it to fit into shapes it does not fit in.. recognising that it has a contribution to society even if its not normal. normal is not always right

[@johnholmes9435]

Sorry I left early. By "local" expat group, I meant local to the the little town of Samara, Costa Rica, where we live now. Not local to you unfortunately. Yes, retiring to Costa Rica has become very popular in the past few years We have been enjoying our time here very much so far.

[@leekestner1554]

Why weighted blankets help. Temple Grandin, an American autistic agriculturist, noticed that cattle which had been rounded up and sent through squeeze chutes settled down and became calm after being squeezed. (These chutes are used hold the cattle still so you can give them shots and check their wellness.) She wrote a paper on the phenomenon and how it could be applied to humans with autism. It has also led to the development of thunder shirts for dogs which fit tightly like a hug to make them less afraid of thunderstorms.

[@zechariahtienter755]

Witch is in fact my most favorite dromeossur or. Raptor that has ever lived. It's a awesome carnivores with huge retractable cycle claws and Razer teeth and sharp hand claws.

[@muppetjedisparklefeet2982]

For energy accounting I found an an app called Au Mi by a guy in GB named Ethan is really helpful.

[@unruffledaria9643]

On the subject of weighted blankets, there are pressure vests that are used to help anxious dogs, so yes, I think there is something physiological going on.

[@lugaruna]

I noticed with sensory things i live spinning on a desk chair or funnely enough poledancing. I just love the feeling you get in your head when spinning around. The same with rollercoasters:). I try to refrain from drinking alcohol even tho i realy like the taste. I had alot of alcohol problems due to not being diagnosed for 28-29 years. Sooo for now i have apple bandit 0.0 ciders:3.