How my AUTISM hides my ADHD

Being a late diagnosed autistic ADHDer (or "AuDHDer") can be hard as both conditions can seem invisible to others. In this video I talk about the ways that my autistic traits hide my ADHD.
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[@mikelmontoya2965]

I'm a "gifted" AuDHD'er so I would really enjoy a video on the intersection between autism, ADHD & giftedness!

[@rebeccat9389]

Ditto! Me too!

[@amla2263]

Same!

[@Evaleastaristev]

Same

[@JordanPhillips90]

Me too! I'm definitely 2e, similar "gifted sensitive girl to anxious late-diagnosed autistic adult" path. I'm not sure if I think I have ADHD or not, kind of leaning no, but am looking more and more at it because of how blurry all these lines are. I think my BFF since early childhood is all three... very lucky to have found each other!

[@anniestumpy9918]

I'm joining here, that would be great! Seems like "out there" there _are_ more people like me (female in my 40s now, gifted IQ as a teen, late diagnosed Asperger's, lately seeing more and more symptoms of ADHD)... it would be great to fill in some more of the puzzle pieces of my strange life.

[@tquinnhunsaker4344]

Fun fact there was a study done on "autistic social problems" where there was three groups playing a game of telephone a group of neurotypicals, one of people with autism, and a mixed group The only group that had problems communicating was the mixed group the purely autistic group did as well as the purely neurotypical group This means that instead of communication problems it is more like we have a slightly different internal language that we have to translate everything into and out of

[@jnharton]

Your conclusion is a stretch, imho. Yes, the communication is different, but it's just as possible that it's inferior in some ways. And it could be just be a kind of 'fallback strategy. Citing the study you are referring to would be good.

[@SylviaRustyFae]

We're runnin Linux distros, and while we each run a slightly diff version of Linux, be it Ubuntu, DSL, Fedora, Arch, or one of the many other kinds, and ofc while we all have our individual settings set and programs available to us and all the rest... We are all able to easily communicate and share with each other bcuz we all share a common framework and way of understandin all the systems by which those similar to us do And the we have NTs who are all runnin one version of Windows or another, with it bein prty much generational to determine which version with rare offshoots, and they all have diff settings set and programs available... And they all communicate grt together as well, and share without issue; and are even easier able to find each other bcuz almost everyone runs Windows after all, and to a Windows user, its like... wait, theres other options? And when the two systems try to interact, one of the two must use an emulator to allow them to mask their actual system methods and imitate the ways by which the other system communicates and shares... And suddenly several of their programs wont work with it or theres just no way to communicate a certain thing

[@TarenGarond]

@@SylviaRustyFae I often don't remember the "sudo" before doing stuff, especially social interactions... XD Edit : My brain run Arch by the way

[@reallyeasy100]

THIS MAKES SENSE! It's good to get scientific confirmation, but it's something that I've definitely noticed when interacting with people. When I'm with my friends, who are 90% neurodivergent, no breaks in the flow of conversation. But when I'm with neurotypicals, so much awkwardness!

[@kaworunagisa4009]

@@SylviaRustyFae Yay Linux gang! 😁 Also, it's telling that we have Wine, at least some of us, but the Windows users don't bother to even try using our stuff. And run-of-the-mill Ubuntu brain here, if we're choosing alliances 😅

[@ByrdieFae]

The phrase "Autism cleaning up ADHD's mess" made me giggle quite a bit 😂

[@freedomdude5420]

Then ADHD said party a little you stiff board, come on I bored and have fun.

[@XSweetNSaucyX]

It's literally like that 😅

[@user-er4xx5mx5y]

Absolutely!

[@felitastic]

Yes, I impress therapists so much with my rational and stoic manner that I don't get a therapy spot because "I seem to be doing okay".

[@linden5165]

I was told I "seemed fine" when in emergency psych in the worst crisis of my life. Thankfully they could tell it was presentation not reality. Sadly it took another 10 years for professionals to realise that was autistic flat effect + masking.

[@moorlivingholistic]

I gave therapy to my therapist and she became super obsessed 😅😅

[@Danhahn4243]

(Undiagnosed AuDHDer) the part about seeking ADHD friends to trigger socialization but being a magnet for other Autistic people resonates SO MUCH for me!

[@shtahfari]

Same! Exciting. 😊

[@weesnawlawankie]

It's definitely a thing for me, too.

[@Popellum]

agree. And also undiagnosed here

[@tatesae]

This is the best way anyone could have described. It’s so weird because I find myself being myself near people that think they have adhd and autism it just feels like my paoeople where as if I’m with people that just act normally to what others do I feel to myself and lonely

[@bolinhong2598]

Get the best remedy to improve your child’s autistic condition from doctor Oyalo as his herbs have helped my child improve in speech and social skill very well.

[@WifeofFearless]

"Motivating yourself with fear and urgency" I've never felt more seen. lol

[@darrensanderson1031]

The whole 'one condition's traits masking the other' thing, I've kinda described before like this: Imagine you're walking a narrow bridge between two points, over a pit of mud. It's narrow, but easily manageable without any other challenges. Your goal is to get to the other side. Autism is like having a wind blowing at you from one side. The strength of it randomly changes with each step, and if you put plenty of effort into leaning into that direction to compensate, then you can still get over the bridge, but it's a lot harder than if there's no wind and you need to constantly adjust the effort you're using as the resistance changes, and if you don't put effort into compensating, then the wind will blow you off the bridge. ADHD is a similar wind, blowing from the opposite direction. Just because sometimes these two winds provide equal force from each side, and thus cancel each other out in terms of not falling off either side, doesn't mean that you're not getting *CRUSHED* in the middle between these two forces. Also the people who just walk across the bridge with no issues for some reason will randomly shake the bridge if they notice you leaning one way or the other, because it's 'abnormal', and they get really pissed at you if you just shrug and walk through the mud pit to the other side without using the bridge.

[@ippolita897]

Beautiful. I love how we think, it's so raw and visual. Sometimes I'd like to have a projector that shoots out from my third eye, to just show people my thoughts.

[@wimsylogic65]

Wow, You speak my language. This is exactly how I Try to explain and describe my understanding of concepts. 😊You gave a wonderful example. I can clearly picture and understand this.

[@tyrennosaur]

That’s an amazing way of explaining it, thank you!

[@saranavarro1880]

Couldn’t agree more. I identify with the experience and with the explanation. 😉 I could add another idea for AutADHD and giftedness… which I think is connected with perfectionism… It’s as if you often find a way to cross the bridge by inventing new ways to make your feet stick… or control aerodinamics… But, when you make it to the other side, you feel exhausted and, honestly, not exactly looking forward to doing it again. However, people’s perception is you did better than most… therefore reject the idea that you might actually need some help… or rest, and continue to expect more and better things from you, making it very hard for you to have more realistic goals and expectations…

[@MsBehaviour]

Sam, you are a legend. Thanks for helping me understand why 'gifted' and autistic never fully explained the way my brain operates. ❤ In te reo Māori the word for autism is Takiwātanga (in your own time and space ), and ADHD is Aroreretini (attention goes to many things). Which pretty much sums up my AuDHD.

[@julen2380]

Thank you for sharing the Maori words for both autism and ADHD. Both would be a much better fit than the ones we have. Especially attention deficit... Yikes. It would be super interesting to know if there are more languages that have their own words. I'm German and unfortunately, we are stuck with Autismus and ADHS (s for syndrome instead of disorder).

[@joemoon1943]

Dr Oyalo herbs is really helpful, and have helped my son improve with his speech and social skill complete. My son now responds to name, his aggressive behavior has stoped completely and he now sings and says what he want.

[@myconfusedmerriment]

That is so cool, thank you for sharing! Those both make autism/ADHD sound so much nicer than their usual societal perceptions, I like them a lot.

[@waneshawright-smith7162]

I ❤️ this

[@linden5165]

In Cree, the word used to describe autism is pîtoteyihtam - he/she thinks differently. I do like our Māori words and I use takiwātanga when referring to myself when speaking in te reo Māori. They're relatively new terms developed as part of Te Reo Hāpai, a Māori language glossary for use in the mental health, addiction and disability sectors.

[@OrafuDa]

7:07 Exactly. The ADHD side makes the “careless” (ie. inattentive) mistakes but the autistic side cannot stand them and revises over and over again to catch them. One of the pitfalls though is that while the autistic side tries to revise, the ADHD side comes in again and is inattentive. To the point that I never catch all of the inattentive mistakes. Expanding a little bit on this, it is also fairly common for me to revise things over and over again, because the ADHD side and the ASD side fight about the tone and target audience to whatever I am doing. And not just in one way, both sides are going through variations in tone too. Pathetically exhausting.

[@helendunn9905]

Not pathetic, very understandable. 💖

[@laraboucher7564]

Especially when writing (or designing as an interior/ landscape designer)… the nuances of language (and design), which I love, can get me trapped in an endless cycle of revision after revision of trying to get it “just right” and viewing it from different perspectives. It’s simultaneously exhilarating and exhausting. … when I was younger I’d often just stop, quit or start something new. Often leaving things at 90% done. Often criticized for never finishing things, but what the outside world didn’t realize is that it is never done, it’s just a state of evolving endlessly-like me, like life. The irony in knowing that I’ll never “get it right” or ever “get it done” actually gave me a lot of freedom to stop at any point and be satisfied by calling it “done”, simply because I chose for it to be done. That is fun, freeing and satisfying too!

[@OrafuDa]

@@laraboucher7564 Yep, I agree with that. Often it is good enough as it is. And that is freeing. Btw, just for texts, I find that the new AI-based autocomplete suggester and especially the mistake finder on iPads (iPadOS version 17) is quite helpful. It underlines words that do not fit the context, eg. when I make the typo “is is” instead of “it is”, or when the singular / plural of subject and verb do not match. It helps me catch more inattentive mistakes, but doesn’t just automatically change my text. That really helps me too. (Unfortunately, it doesn’t always trigger, for whatever reason. 🤷‍♂️) - And the suggester can help me find some good or good enough formulation quickly, but doesn’t just fill it in automatically. Which is good, because often I want to write something else. All in all, far better than the “ancient” autocorrection … which I always turned off.

[@doggingrun]

The other thing with being way too good at school to supposedly be Adhd is that if school or more specifically class is actually the thing that boosts your dopamine instead of being boring, instead of being unable to pay attention in school even Adhd itself would push in the opposite direction, ie hyperfocus, as I think it did for me. Homework on the other hand...

[@IceeaTeea]

this is really interesting!

[@meredithf.1022]

Yes, I completely agree that school itself can be someone's special interest, and can bump-up dopamine. 🌟

[@Catlily5]

I did well in school because I thought school was interesting except for math.

[@JonBrase]

I had trouble paying attention in school, but my chosen means of not paying attention was often to read ahead in the textbook (at least until I'd read it cover to cover, at which point I'd take to doodling), so teachers generally left me alone, especially given that if I was halfways paying attention, I'd interject with interesting tidbits adjacent to the lesson, but not budgeted time in the lesson plan, so I think many of my teachers may have preferred when I was distracted.

[@binesart]

And then you become this child that talks really excitedly to the teacher the whole time and everyone gets annoyed 😅😂

[@bitbirdy]

Yes, definitely make a video about the intersection of autism/adhd/giftedness!

[@jnharton]

It's entirely possible that "giftedness" is not strictly inherent and actually develops as a product of what a person focuses on early in life. In the absence of natural facility with learning social skills perhaps autistic/adhd children people simply end up focusing much more time and energy on a few things they're good at (developing skills that extend any natural aptitude).

[@bitbirdy]

​@@jnhartonthat's a definite possibility! But I always excelled at school, even kindergarten, so it must be at least partially inherent for me.

[@Unverwertbar]

(Diagnosed ADD, suspected "gifted child", severely burned out adult) Finding myself so well represented by Sam's videos, given my success in in school, uni and work but simultaneous constant struggles, I am seriously wondering whether "giftedness" is just a right combination of ASD, ADD and a relatively high IQ. Or maybe the latter even results from the former two.

[@Rhiandell]

Scarily enough, I think I have impressed many therapists with my rationalism and my ability to verbalise things. I think it's one of the reasons I wasn't diagnosed with ADHD until I was 35 and have yet to be diagnosed with autism.

[@Siures]

This! Always got compliments about how reflective I am for example about my terrible childhood.

[@wimsylogic65]

​@@Siures Same. My therapist says that he's never met anybody who's so self-aware. That I'm highly introspective. Also that I seem to remember a lot of details from my past more than average person. I strongly suspect I have autism and possibly ADHD. It would just explain everything.

[@Eleven-qj9qc]

@@wimsylogic65 here to say you just perfectly described my exact experience with my therapist, which is still ongoing to this day. she tells me nearly every single session that i am very self-aware, insightful, and introspective even though i struggle so much in daily life due to my diagnosed ADHD, suspected autism, and mental illnesses that i experience.

[@sciencensorcery]

I was diagnosed ADHD first in my mid-20s, but eventually decided it was incorrect because I didn't respond to any of the meds I tried. Then I reconsidered in my late 30s and got diagnosed again (meds were still never that helpful for me). For a long time I didn't think I could be autistic because I was always a *very* social and talkative kid, don't struggle with sarcasm, etc. but at 40 I started strongly considering it (that's when I discovered your channel) and was diagnosed as autistic as well. I don't 100% relate to either one and I think all this overlap is why. The combination manifests somewhat the same for me as for you but in other ways, very differently. Like, I love order and organization but I just cannot keep up with it so most of my house is a disaster, with a few areas being perfectly organized. My problem is that I love a good system, and as long as the system continues to work I'm great. But if I get a bunch of stuff that doesn't fit into the system, then I don't know how to handle that and I get overwhelmed by the idea of recreating the system over again so I just don't, and things snowball. I'm miserable being surrounded by chaos but I just am too overwhelmed by it all. But I'm definitely similar with the social and pattern recognition bits. I've always been (and been described as by others) very observant and conscientious (I've done a lot of editing type work for that reason 😆). So although my ADHD makes me procrastinate and I could be pretty impulsive as a kid, I'm also obsessive and meticulous in a way that means I don't do things all slapdash and full of errors. If anything, I overthink and overcheck everything I do for fear of making mistakes. I'm also not super forgetful in the ways ADHD people often describe themselves, probably because my autistic side makes me research and plan everything ahead of time and constantly be mentally trying to keep track of everything. I'm actually not sure which side it is that makes all my comments end up being multiple paragraphs long (probably both) but I'll stop there for now 😂

[@sciencensorcery]

OH and yes I also vote for a video about AuDHD + Giftedness!

[@Sncex]

thats adhd and autism coming together i think, im literally the same i cant keep up with stuff, most of the time i dont even know its there (in the sense of paying attention to keep up with it), i think im autistic and adhd, trying to get my assessment and stuff but its so long...@@sciencensorcery

[@Sncex]

oh no ur paragraphs are fine bro, i do the exact same when i have things to say, pretty sure thats autism haha, doing short ones atm haha

[@ArtemisDeer444]

Can so relate!

[@joemoon1943]

Dr Oyalo herbs is really helpful, and have helped my son improve with his speech and social skill complete. My son now responds to name, his aggressive behavior has stoped completely and he now sings and says what he want.

[@sgjoni]

I was diagnosed with ADHD at age 39, but realised quickly that it was quite an autistic expression of ADHD… and I’ll refrain from writing an essay on the subject and just say: “you nailed it sister 😂…, we could be twins… you are describing my life down to a T… including cornering someone for hours long political discussion at a party 😊 LOL”

[@bolinhong2598]

Get the best remedy to improve your child’s autistic condition from doctor Oyalo as his herbs have helped my child improve in speech and social skill very well.

[@clairedot657]

Same!

[@aura7153]

Same too 😂 despite I don't like political discussions

[@loriremington9881]

Yeah anything but politics lol​@@aura7153

[@The1stChair]

"... motivating yourself with fear and urgency".. ... 😂😂😂 -- the essence of my personal motivation for everything!

[@copperberry]

Autism+ADHD+Giftedness... yeah. What stopped me was a bunch of traumatic events, burnout, and chronic fatigue (for now it's a symptom, various medical things being investigated).

[@helendunn9905]

Can relate! Have a mental health diagnosis but not sure if it's correct. Plus chronic fatigue, which hasn't been assessed because a lot of doctors assume I'm being exhausted by depression & anxiety. But which came first?

[@Eleven-qj9qc]

literally same here. i used to do various types of sports, like soccer, swimming, a bit of softball, a bit of volleyball, track, cross country, and a bit of basketball, but my body, over time, began to fail me in being able to do most of these sports due to epilepsy and now chronic fatigue.

[@NerdyGirlLiveLove]

This

[@jassensosa4688]

Social Hypervigilance, infodumping urges and an urge for intense political conversations were all highly resonant points for me. When you described that part, it sounded like the kind of conversation I'd definitely enjoy.

[@lizzypye579]

Lightbulb moment! I did so much ballet and horse riding early on that probably gave me an outlet for the adhd hyperactivity just like you describe. Then I totally burnt out and traumatic experiences came along. All that fell away and I was atrocious at team sports/athletics and the hyperactivity all went internal. Thanks for telling me my own life story, again 😂

[@joemoon1943]

Dr Oyalo herbs is really helpful, and have helped my son improve with his speech and social skill complete. My son now responds to name, his aggressive behavior has stoped completely and he now sings and says what he want.

[@bolinhong2598]

Get the best remedy to improve your child’s autistic condition from doctor Oyalo as his herbs have helped my child improve in speech and social skill very well.

[@reallyeasy100]

What you said about 'pattern recognition' and how autistics can use that heightened awareness of patterns to discern ADHD or social missteps quickly enough to correct them... I don't think I've ever had my own thought process recognized and articulated so clearly. I'm obviously sad that I had to develop this as a, quite frankly, exhausting, coping mechanism. But still, Thank you. This pattern recognition thing also explains why I have a tendency to mirror people around me. I have to put concious effort into NOT mirroring them. I learned to mirror to more easily avoid 'mistakes', but now I tend to lose my authentic self, especially when surrounded by too many people that I don't feel at ease with.

[@Catlily5]

I mirror people's accents too much sometimes. A few times people got very angry thinking I was making fun of them.

[@FrancoisDabiel]

OMG. The part about seeking ADHD relationships and at the same time being an “Autistic Magnet”… blew my mind how that’s something I’ve been experiencing my whole life 😮

[@silas2283]

I'm currently a mover and most days all I do for 8-10 hours a day is continuous heavy lifting. The harder I work the more I notice my symptoms of ADHD & autism fade away. It feels like I'm taking all the weight that comes from my mental exhaustion and converting it into physical exhaustion. My body hurts like hell all day but my mind is on cloud nine. The one downside is that after work everyday my body is incredibly exhausted but my mind doesn't stop moving. So it's a constant battle between destroying my mind or destroying my body, often both get destroyed at the same time during the process. But when my body and mind are working in harmony all day I truly feel free from all my burdens. Moving reminds me of my days as a gymnast which were the best times of my life, it allows me to feel the same harmony that I felt back then. I believe exercise is one of the best treatments for ADHD but you need medication in order to be motivated enough to exercise and your mind might push your body past what it's capable of

[@EvilAsh_AuDHDer]

Love that you're back! The voice of us AuDHDers!

[@BlueberryPie-zq6so]

The physical energy thing really resonated with me. I did cross country (running 2-3km) in middle school but I became chronically fatigued as I got older and more mentally hyperactive.

[@Alf258]

I remember in my 20s I lived in London and I was walking for 20 kilometers every day and I was exercising for 3 hours daily... that was the calmest period of my life mentally

[@meaganwilliams349]

A few weeks ago, I cut my long hair pretty short because it was so overstimulating, and I just wanted it to go away. I feel 100x better, but I realized I didn't have a very "good reason" that I felt I needed when people asked about the change. I happen to have a 10 m/o baby who likes to grab and pull on my hair and face, so I quickly rationalized as you said, and made that my reason 😅 Thank you for being so relatable and validating us self-diagnosed AuDHDer's so well ❤

[@bolinhong2598]

Get the best remedy to improve your child’s autistic condition from doctor Oyalo as his herbs have helped my child improve in speech and social skill very well.

[@TessaCoker]

I was teased when younger for attracting “waifs and strays”. I didn’t know at the time that I am one too😂

[@estherj.walker8658]

This may be most relatable 😅

[@crowkraehenfrau2604]

Easiest way to self diagnose...find videos where you think: same, same, same...

[@kikitauer]

I would welcome the third video for the trifecta 😉 My IQ was very high when I was young and I believe it really contributed to my Audhd flying under the radar. It is probably much lower due to the Flynn effect but I can still compensate very well for some Audhd drawbacks. Anyway, my ADHD is way more dominant in me than my ASD. ASD only gotten more visible in me when I was going through the epic burnout. And it was also the time when I got diagnosed. Ironically with ADHD first, with ASD coming about a year later.

[@joemoon1943]

Dr Oyalo herbs is really helpful, and have helped my son improve with his speech and social skill complete. My son now responds to name, his aggressive behavior has stoped completely and he now sings and says what he want.

[@RebeccaKing1017]

"You may be one of us." One of us! One of us! One of us!

[@rayhimmel7167]

"thanks, it's a coping mechanism!" I NEED IN ON A T-SHIRT RIGHT NOW

[@jenniferhjorthaug451]

"...Life is too short to kind of continue to be cruel to parts of yourself that you just don't really like very much." THIS resonated with me. I'd also love to see a video about the intersection of Autism, ADHD, and giftedness, good topic!

[@bolinhong2598]

Get the best remedy to improve your child’s autistic condition from doctor Oyalo as his herbs have helped my child improve in speech and social skill very well.

[@jrbiff18]

Wow, the part about procrastination and finishing school work the day they were due spoke to me so much. Multiple times, I wrote research papers of 10-20 pages the day they were due, and got A's on them. I just thought I was really good at procrastination, but the fear and executive function problems make way more sense.

[@andrearae264]

Me 1000

[@samamsterdam4301]

In my little world my ADHD somewhat hides my Autism. When I take stimulant medication it seems to shut my ADHD off and my Autism really shows. It scared my mom until we figured out what was going on. She thought I was high. Nope! My personality is a combination of ADHD and Autism.

[@alessazoe]

YES YES YES to all of this! I was at the same time being so SURE about having ADHD and also feeling impostor syndrome because it just doesn’t present very typical. Came up with very similar reasons like you in this video, this explains so much!

[@alessazoe]

also a deep dive into the triangle would be very useful, that’s probably also the case with me, like how can I be AuDHD when I finished best in my year? but at the same time, I’m struggling so much, can’t even manage to have an income, lol

[@joemoon1943]

Dr Oyalo herbs is really helpful, and have helped my son improve with his speech and social skill complete. My son now responds to name, his aggressive behavior has stoped completely and he now sings and says what he want.

[@knitandcatboodle]

11:01 I was told this just a couple years ago when I went in for my ADHD diagnosis. It was so satisfying to hear him have to swallow his words when giving me my diagnosis. Just because I got good grades, doesn't mean I was a "good student" University kicked my butt because I didn't have any study skills and the projects really were ones that I couldn't do in a day.

[@robertabarnhart6240]

What I hated the most were the projects that had to be done as a group, cos no matter how much I tried, I could never stay in step with the rest of the group. It was a lot easier to do a solo project.

[@deedreamerify]

So much of this resonates with me, including the part about being drawn to adhd/AuDHD people and having autistic folk seeming to be drawn to me Almost everyone that has openly expressed romantic interest in me has been diagnosed autistic 🤔

[@sarat5675]

Very relatable. My parents were told I was likely gifted as a toddler (mostly due to what I now attribute to ADHD symptoms) and was recently diagnosed autistic, while still awaiting assessment for ADHD. Did well at school academically, but everything else was a struggle and my life fell apart after leaving school. Not yet completed a degree despite 2 attempts, as I seem to apply myself so far then implode (perfectionism can also be debilitating for me - I got told I was on track for a first and then experienced the worst burnout of my life). I agree with the exercise - I’ve had a viral illness for over 2 months that has prevented me exercising, even basic movement has been a struggle, and my mental health has plummeted. I have no outlet for my energy and I’ve become aware that it’s turning inwards - my insomnia is so much worse, brain will not shut off, and I’ve noticed how much I usually move about due to my inability to do it right now. Interesting about the pattern recognition vs mistakes thing - is this why I find myself re-reading anything I’ve written a dozen times before posting/sending? 🤔

[@Catlily5]

I did well in school until university. Perfectionism caused me to fail.

[@SimoneEppler]

Well, I resonated with literally everything , dear Sam! 😅 You know I only have an official ADHD diagnosis and, at this point in time, I hesitate to self-identify, but this is another piece in the research I’ll definitely save. To answer your question: A lot of people I meet, and met in the past, and that are interested in me as a friend (and I vibe with), are autistic (Or AuDHD), so that’s an interesting thing. (And how ADHD was this last sentence, lol😂)

[@ArtemisDeer444]

Attuned and Dialled in to Higher Dimensions" aka ADHD

[@joemoon1943]

Dr Oyalo herbs is really helpful, and have helped my son improve with his speech and social skill complete. My son now responds to name, his aggressive behavior has stoped completely and he now sings and says what he want.

[@SimoneEppler]

@@ArtemisDeer444 yes

[@michellegore8878]

This hit hard for me. I'm going in for my ADHD evaluation later this week. I said to my husband this morning that I'm 99% sure I have ADHD and I wouldn't be surprised if I'm also Autistic. I'm seeking an ADHD evaluation to potentially get on meds but if I'm also Autistic then whatever I'm Autistic...no meds or other "correction" needed. Apparently my internalized abelism thinks that ADHD is an issue that needs correcting while it's cool for high masking/low support needs Autism to just be another way of existing in the world.

[@rebeccat9389]

As someone who is great at arithmetic, but always does it over and over about 3-4 times in my head before I share the answer, I really resonate with what you're saying about mistakes and pattern recognition.

[@joemoon1943]

Dr Oyalo herbs is really helpful, and have helped my son improve with his speech and social skill complete. My son now responds to name, his aggressive behavior has stoped completely and he now sings and says what he want.

[@bolinhong2598]

Get the best remedy to improve your child’s autistic condition from doctor Oyalo as his herbs have helped my child improve in speech and social skill very well.

[@ambrosiasky1168]

Just the whole section on socializing is something I absolutely 1000% relate to, and it is SO validating to hear someone talk about it. I am CONSTANTLY worried and checking on how my behavior is affecting others, and in my case, someone I am desperately in love with but they don't respond much in such a way that I can tell whether my behavior is good or bad. I flounder so much in scenarios like that, and it's like being lost out at sea when you don't have that response to check in with.

[@joemoon1943]

Dr Oyalo herbs is really helpful, and have helped my son improve with his speech and social skill complete. My son now responds to name, his aggressive behavior has stoped completely and he now sings and says what he want.

[@elirods2786]

Such an interesting video, I think I have more of this aspects than I expected. Probably the reason that I didn't had any "trouble" during school was my autism keeping in check the ADHD, which with time has become harder to do. Specially when the expectations of adulthood drains my mind in both sides 😅. I don't think I have shame for either traits, but I do feel much more strain energy-wise when I follow more my ADHD needs, so I'm working in not go so hard with the dopamine chase. With the rationalization of emotion I always feel like my autism is kind of "spoiling" my ADHD, like sure you wanted this crazy thing out of nowhere, but actually there is a reason haha

[@joemoon1943]

Dr Oyalo herbs is really helpful, and have helped my son improve with his speech and social skill complete. My son now responds to name, his aggressive behavior has stoped completely and he now sings and says what he want.

[@Siures]

Yes, „adulting“, a job, household and kids completely overwhelmed my urge to structure and rest. I feel like my mind is scattered around and if I try to hold everything together a few pieces always escape. School was more relaxing because the structure let me rest and doing things my way (sleeping or resting after school, homework early in the morning). Now „adult life“ is structuring my day and it sucks.

[@myconfusedmerriment]

I really appreciated this pair of videos, Sam, thank you for making them. A few years ago I figured out that I most likely had ADHD, but I always related to autism as well. For a long time, I assumed this was because they do have a lot of similarities, but the more research I do on autism, the more I'm starting to think I might actually have both. It would certainly explain how my ADHD was missed for so long. When you were talking about your education journey, it sounded almost exactly like my own. By the master's degree, I had (sort of) figured out how to trick myself/work around my poor focus and executive dysfunction, but throughout my entire bachelor's degree, I did everything last-minute, in a panic, and somehow pulled it together into something...good somehow?? I remember one of my final papers in undergrad got an A+ and my professor left me a whole bunch of really nice comments, and I remember thinking "I cannot believe I have conned this man into thinking I'm smart," because I had more or less written it in one night, staying up til 6am the day it was due. A lot of imposter syndrome, a lot of feeling like something was really wrong with me but nobody could see it, because I internalized the struggles so much. Would love to see the video on AuDHD and giftedness as well, it would be really interesting to hear.

[@wackjobius1588]

I had this issue with procrastination leading to panic work in undergrad too and have been in burnout for the better part of a year because of it. I got excellent grades on papers and projects and such despite always working non-stop within the last three to six hours before the due date because id been thinking about those papers and projects for weeks on the back burner and once the executive dysfunction was overpowered by shear raw fear and panic was I able to actually do anything at all. That being said, the only reason I was able to process these on the back burner was because I was studying my special interests and could literally think of nothing else.

[@Timmie1995]

I'm currently on a 73-week waiting list for ADHD diagnosis, but an issue I have is that many of the typical ADHD things just don't apply to me as much. Yet so much does, that I'm very conflicted about what the hell is going on. I spoke to a friend (with ADHD) yesterday who told me she thinks I have both ADHD and autism, and that got me back to your videos. I watched your 5 signs it's both video a while back, and it was scary how much I recognised, but I discarded autism because there's even more there that I don't have. So today I went back and watched this and your previous video, and I have to say, once again it's scary. I recognise almost everything you mention, although sometimes the "other side" wins for me. Thanks for sharing, I'm really starting to suspect that it's both for me.

[@prokopartworks]

This video, and its counterpart, probably sums up about 80% of what I've struggled to communicate in therapy.

[@ashhitchner9184]

I grew up with my younger brother having autism/ADHD(moderate to severeASD), and me being the "gifted" but socially awkward kid. My mom always did her best to help us both but my brother being lower functioning and younger meant that he needed more of her time and energy. She always suspected both for me too but to a lesser degree(me as a kid denying it all the way because i couldn't fathom having the same struggles my brother did), but the doctor we went to literally told her that "she can't possibly have ADHD because she does well in school". Now as an adult I'm finally seeing the writing on the wall, and having videos like this available to help me see and understand, and hopefully coexist with, all of these parts of myself has been really amazing. I wish my mom had all of these resources when my brother was much younger.

[@flowerlover77]

I am absolutely a magnet for other AuDHDers... I just got diagnosed with both last week, but I've been attracting our people for years!

[@looyapapuja5179]

So nice, thanks for the depth of the video. It's very relatable. I would be quite interested in a video about the triangle autism, adhd and giftedness

[@TheEmanep]

Ditto - that sounds interesting

[@sugaCat363]

When I was first learning about autism, your content is what I related to the most. Everything you've said about adhd and how it relates to your autism is very similar to my own experience especially re school work and excelling in school while doing everything last minute. I'm pretty sure I am an audhder too.

[@bolinhong2598]

Get the best remedy to improve your child’s autistic condition from doctor Oyalo as his herbs have helped my child improve in speech and social skill very well.

[@charlotteice5704]

I relate so much to the part about your need for organization hiding your ADHD. This especially rang true for me today at work where I had to put up banners in many different locations throughout my town. I got a plan of the locations beforehand and I simply needed to create a specific order for those locations. The coworker I was filling in for told me that I made it really complicated for myself and that she would have just gotten started and planned as she went along. But I just can't do that kind of thing. My autism causes the need for a specific plan and my ADHD means that without such a plan, it's pure chaos inside my head. It would have probably saved some time to just not make such a specific plan but I wanted it and the coworker I was paired with for that task is in need of some authority so to speak and I wanted to radiate that authority by having a precise plan and not wondering where to go and that's my rationalisation.

[@mom2ktntj]

I would love a video on the intersection of giftedness with AuDHD. Your material is SO well-presented, by the way. Thank you so much for all of this.

[@madametaylor625]

Ok i have never heard about the rationalizing impulsive decisions thing before, but impulsivity is one criteria of ADHD that I never thought I had? But maybe my brain just instinctively rationalizes those decisions. Also the starting assignments at the last minute but still doing pretty good on them. None of my neurodivergence really popped out until I was out of school and didn't have that structure where you do x, y, and z and then get a good grade. These quotes in particular ring so true: "If you're producing work of a high quality, you may seem a little disorganized, but overall your grades are good so they don't care. And they often miss the fact that you're actually just motivating yourself with fear and urgency." "The struggle was not an intellectual one, the struggle was an executive functioning one."

[@tomarta]

Oh yes please make a video on 2e auDHD!!!!! You are my absolute favourite neurodivergence speaker and advocate. I've recently been diagnosed and during my diagnosis journey I listened to so many audio books on ADHD and autism and listened to loads of podcasts. And while I did relate to things to a certain degree, it did feel like there was something balancing these traits out and I felt like I was an imposter. Then I got my diagnosis and was like, "ok well now it's official, I have proof". I listened to some more audiobooks and still felt a bit like an imposter. Then I found your channel and after watching the first video in this series I was like, "There it is!!!" Your auDHD presentation is very similar to mine and I absolutely love your fun and upbeat videos Love your work Yo Samdy Sam!!! Keep doing what you're doing. Ok appreciation rant over hahah

[@Siures]

I relate to everything: I think minimalism solved the problem of chaos and order for me. And for autistic people: my guess is that they feel drawn to me because I can follow their lines of thoughts. With my ADHD and autism I have several special interests and a broad - and deep - knowledge about a lot of things so I can at least get a grasp of their special interests. And I love deep diving into new topics, so it’s mostly a win-win - when we also like each other. And yes - I really struggle with exercising now because of my kids and this leads to a lot of problems including anxiety and paralysis.

[@aster_11]

I love these two videos bc I often still feel like I'm just faking it all (even though I'm professionally diagnosed) bc they hide each other sm. Tysm

[@MandiSmash]

Absolutely spot on for me too. I've got 5 degrees and then I went on to use exactly none of them with my career, so I relate to everything you said about giftedness and would love a video about that as well. It has also shown up in my work where I design complex frameworks for systems but I often go through days of just ruminating and procrastinating and then I jam it all together in a flurry, and it often works just fine but... I am always terrified about why it did and what the F possessed me to make it actually work out in the end. I've found that I am the worst at conversation because I am too truthful and too blunt and too trusting of others at the same time -- a combination that doesn't always work well in a competitive industry as I often give others ammunition to use against me by voicing my own fears seeking solidarity when that's apparently not how others work. It has driven me into deep isolation where my autism side takes the reigns socially and then my ADHD side becomes more aggressively hyperactive in all other ways.

[@TheEmanep]

Sorry to hear this - I’m in the same boat. Too unwittingly honest and I sometimes don’t understand the hierarchy and put colleagues’ noses out of joint. On the other hand, my ideas (usually quite original) get used without credit (other than to the person who nicked the idea). This corporate dog-eat-dog world isn’t great for us - I naively think that people will do the right thing but I never learn. I too set up complex frameworks at a consultancy and even though it’s extremely satisfying solving complex problems, it’s soul-destroying having others take the credit even when I meticulously kept paper trails as I don’t know how to raise this without seeming petty.

[@ch1pnd413]

Incredibly deep drawn out conversations with strangers? I’m so glad I’m a teacher… that describes the breakout sessions of professional development

[@Subzearo]

I don't usually say much when I'm with people, but when I do finally say something, it will either be something witty and with substance, or something really stupid.

[@mirandaosmelak480]

Omg, the thing with doing the work last moment and then producing great results so no one thought there were any problems... the story of my life. For me the first year of a uni was a massive shock to the system and a really dark time, because with the degree I was doing my usual mode of operation was definitely not going to cut it. I don't have official diagnosis (yet?), but I'm pretty sure I'm AuDHD, and I was very certainly a gifted child. I'd love a video on intersections.

[@kimberlychilds5744]

"Thanks it's a coping mechanism" to the organized comment at the beginning 😂😂 Literally me yesterday. Without external systems to guide me, I will basically just vibrate in place all day

[@kittyrussell5549]

"You're so organized!" "Thanks - it's a coping mechanism". Love it. I'm definitely gonna use that reply in future.

[@Lord_Lux]

What helped calm me and actually forced me to be way more active was to get rid of my car and completely rely on my e-bike. Now I am forced to exercise whether I want to or not if I want to reach any place in a reasonable time. As a bonus, that also takes care of my daily cardio, since I never ride below a heart rate of 130, because that would be boring and dull, and we can't have that now, can we. =D

[@NinaKatharinaWeber]

Great idea. 😊

[@BobofMIB]

Defentiley noticed a tendency for ADHD and Autistic people to pair up. I'm undiagnosed but probably autistic my wife is diagnosed with ADHD and there are some autistic traits there too. We got together long before we realised we were neurodivergernt (both labeled gifted). I've also noticed other people who have ADHD and autistic traits pairing up and of course forming friendship groups. I think we understand and balance each other out a bit.

[@T-Woman]

This nails down all of the things I grapple with, particularly self-compassion. I listened to this channel to determine if I was AuDHD, got the diagnostic book and completed it, then got diagnosed. Twice...because I wanted to be sure. Gifted AuDHD (combined ADHD) with sensory processing disorder. And here I am back on the channel to figure out how to live with and, dare I say, thrive with it. To add, my daughter was also diagnosed with the same, so I am endeavoring to help her as well. I'm so grateful for this channel, and I credit it for providing the clarity that comes with diagnosis and now helping work through understanding of it. As an aside...I have been a distance runner for 40 years...turns out I was self-treating some of my symptoms.

[@sk8rblond]

I found a special skill in physical organization, as well as digital organization of things like photos, files, emails, calendars, etc.. When people are impressed by my "organization", I always laugh and say "thanks, I'm not type A by choice, it's sheer willpower", and they don't get that if I don't find a way to make organization happen, everything would be absolute chaos instead.

[@steph654]

One of us…one of us 😂. I feel like these are exactly all of the ways my autism is being like, move along, nothing to see here. Everything is completely normal here. Very relatable video again. I feel like a massive amount of sports in my childhood was also a way to manage energy levels. And being way to exhausted in my teens with a lot of physical issues to maintain that level as well. And then just an internal overload of massive chaos in my brain resulting in a lot of sleep issues as well. Very quickly rationalising impulsive decisions with a mountain of reasons why and how it is in fact a good decision, check! I have had some autistic friends for a long time, might even also be a few audhd ones in there without them knowing it. I do feel like I’m more drawn to adhd people in a lot of social settings, especially the bigger ones. During and after a social setting with high energy I might actually start bouncing all over the place, seeming to have an infinite amount of energy. to be completely exhausted and out of balance later.

[@wiegraf9009]

I definitely relate to the ADHD/Autism conflict and the autism trying to find systems to control the ADHD. I just absolutely lost it this morning after missing an appointment because my systems failed me. I was so overwhelmed with the sense that 1) my systems will always fail when I need them most and 2) they will ultimately always fail because my inattentiveness (problematic term, it's more like wrongattentiveness or inappropriatentativeness) will undermine everything I work to create. I've always related to the movie Momento because the protagonist of that movie desperately trying to use Polaroids to make up for his lack of long term memory is how it feels being both Autistic and ADHD. People telling me it's fine that I missed a meeting is kind of helpful but really my head is telling me "Yeah, but you don't understand that my brain can't distinguish between the times when it's fine and the times when it's critical that I be there. I can never feel safe because my brain will always betray me." [Tangent] I gave my best man the wrong date for my own wedding and he ended up missing it. I can laugh about it but it really does haunt me that I cannot trust myself to organize things, no matter how important they are, and especially if I'm in exhaustion, burnout, meltdown, or any combination of the above. I once almost got kicked out of my country of residence because I barely made it to a meeting to sign papers that would keep me employed and housed (Result of PDA, Autistic burnout, and ADHD). My supervisor had so much contempt and confusion about my behaviour at that time and it haunts me that I could have hurt myself so much and displayed so much ingratitude to the people trying their best to help me. My personality type in the Enneagram is "sexual" 5 and that comes with an overwhelming desire for trust. It hurts so much that I can't trust myself. Extra point: I also really struggled to get my ADHD diagnosis (got that before Autism) because my doctor told me I was too successful academically to have ADHD, and my psychiatrist told me that it was impossible that teachers and counsellors in the school system wouldn't have noticed my ADHD and that I wasn't displaying outward traits of ADHD. Little did they know it was my autism compensating/masking for that!

[@AoifeNic_an_t-Saoir]

The executive function vs intellectual struggle sums up my entire educational career. I was such a good student that my teachers often took my word that I’d read a book and gave me full credit for it, simply because I couldn’t get myself together enough to write the book report to prove it. I knew full well how to write them, and when I did, they were brilliant, but it was an almighty struggle to sit down and organise myself enough to do it!

[@JadeCC92]

I got diagnosed with ADHD earlier this year aged 30 and I’m awaiting an assessment for autism but very certain I have it. A lot of my adhd symptoms got masked as a child because my autism found school very scary, until I was in high school when I realised how fun it was to be loud and be a naughty kid. My autism hated that I was breaking the rules but my adhd loved the attention that I got from my friends. Unfortunately I was very susceptible to being taken advantage of by many boys and all that trauma caused me to become a very quiet scared person again.

[@gamewrit0058]

10:30 "They miss that you're just motivating yourself with fear and urgency." 💯😢

[@jesterr7133]

I definitely recognize patterns, or particularly if anything changes within my environment. I can walk into a room and instantly notice if something has been changed.

[@JerrTheHooman]

I relate strongly to this. I like my autism. I find it to be a strength but I consider my ADHD a disorder. It's where my shame lies. When I find myself talking too much, moving too fast and making silly mistakes, I feel stupid. My autism is cool, controlled, quiet and organized. It proceeds with caution and AIDS my daily life. It polices the adhd. Everytime I leak adhd traits, I feel like I've failed to "stay in control"

[@T-Woman]

You nailed it. Precisely how I feel.

[@StacyForest738]

Love that you said physical activity is good to keep the adhd from going to your head. My daughter is a long distance runner, this is exactly it. She has said it lets her brain rest.

[@aylamyers5851]

I remember people always complimenting me on how organized I was growing up. I would explain "I have to be organized out here because my head is so scattered." I understood this at a young age. I first started questioning whether I had ADHD in 7th grade. I was becoming more certain in high school but when I looked it up one it talked about ADHDers not having organization skills, so it couldn't be me. I was late diagnosed at age 24. The older I got the harder it was to stay organized and the need for order, routine, and sameness gets more obsessive.

[@HalfGodHalfBeast]

I was told by someone years ago that whenever I spoke to them on the phone: they could tell that I had rehersed the conversation multiple times before calling them, and they wished I would just be myself. They were spot on: I do do that! I go over every possible ways the conversation could go so I had the "right" thing to say at every turn. Also I relate to the non stop talking and info dumping. I do it all the time, except when I don't and when I don't I am not saying anything at all. It's either black or white, all or nothing, I talk too much or I just don't talk. Either don't feel natuaral, as the talking all the time feels like a safety valve releasing pressure that has been building up from not talking.

[@Siures]

Same, but also have scenarios for almost everything. My best friend dies? I certainly already thought about how I would react to it. My husband suddenly wants a divorce? Very unlikely - and if course I don’t want it, but I know that I would give the kids to him because of his stable family. It took a lot of my time playing through these scenarios in my head when I was younger but now I just have to „update“ most things from time to time. Sometimes I even forget if a phone call was just imagined real because I played through several times how I would react to a friend telling me she broke up or something like this.

[@Iceburgh6901]

One of the reasons I'd clued into my own autism was the fact that so many of my friends over the years are autistic, and we get on pretty well. I have a harder time with neurotypical folks. And I've been diagnosed with ADHD since I was 9, but got my autism diagnosis at 40.

[@Skoopyghost]

It's funny how the people around get you to realize who you are. I found out that I had the starting substance abuse/alcoholism symptoms, and had undiagnosed ADHD that was my friend group, or maybe it's just common in musicians.

[@ZosiaDabrowski]

I resonate with a lot of this, and I'll really have lots to reflect on in moving forward! ADHD was first identified for me 7 1/2 years ago but not officially diagnosed by a psychiatrist until 9 months ago. In the last few years I've come to recognise all my rigidity/sensory/detail-oriented traits of autism, but I have great social skills so I thought I was only "half autistic". It was only through a conversation with a newly-diagnosed colleague two months ago that made me realise that even if my social autistic traits were visible in growing up but not now, they still count toward the full autism profile. So I'm still discovering lots about the full scale of my autistic traits. I completely resonated with your description of how pattern-recognition and detail orientation hides ADHD traits. Through all these years I've never related to the "makes careless errors" criteria because lifelong I have been so fastidious and perfectionistic. In identifying my ADHD I came to recognise that I check, double-check and even triple-check my writing and physical tasks because I never trust that my inattentiveness has done it correctly the first time, and of course this makes my processes very slow but output is thorough perfection. I explained this through an ADHD/schemas lens as a learned coping mechanism for inattentiveness aligned with my values for perfectionism. However seeing it also through a detail-oriented pattern-recognition autism lens just solidifies the sense of the whole picture for me. What you said about social hypervigilance is 10000% me to a T. Repeated attachment trauma combined with my mum's lifelong modelling and explicit coaching of me to be other-attuned have done wonders for my social skills, where I am SO attuned to the interpersonal dynamics between me and the other person or the small group I'm in. That monitoring is always running low-key but it is a conscious effort, so when I am stressed with my attention overloaded, that compensatory technique slips and that is when I may say something rude and blunt. This happened on two notable times in my last job where GREAT emotional offence was taken by my manager, and I felt absolutely shit for it.

[@DFarbklecks]

My Autism is super vigilant about forgetting things. When I was in 5th/6ths grade I would always forget homework. Like genuinely forget. I got in trouble for it a few times until I started to religiously write them down the moment the teacher said them in a notebook dedicated to just that. I'm still like that to this day. I get super worried about forgetting appointments or things I need to do and have created a lot of systems to make sure the things happen. So people are often confused when I say "let me write that down or I'll forget." Because I don't often forget things. Because my autism makes sure that my ADHD doesn't throw it out. I also definitely do the rationalizing. Always. To the point that people think it's weird.

[@nicolayoung9789]

I relate to this so much we could be twins!! I’m diagnosed ADHD but I’m recently waking up to the autism side of me. Everything you described explains why I sometimes felt fraudulent about my ADHD diagnosis, where it didn’t always fit. Even the stuff about hyperactivity, I’m diagnosed as inattentive type but don’t agree with it, I’m not dreamy my brain is relentless, I also used to be a very active kid whereas now I am mostly found on the sofa unable to move and people scoff at the idea that I’m hyperactive. Yet actually I still can be but rarely have the energy, also have PCOS and PMDD. When I do sport though, it’s high adrenalin type sport!! I also really relate to the comment about having lots of ADHD friends but finding autistics are drawn to you!!! I often wondered why this was happening and sometimes wondered if it meant I was autistic but at the time I really couldn’t see it, due to all the ways ADHD his my autism as described in the first vid!!! Anyway I’ve found both vids so very very helpful, please make the one about giftedness as I relate to this as well!

[@BarryBazzawillWilliams]

Physical hyperactivity totally had that under control (various different ways) before having kids (twin 6yo ND boys 😴)

[@AstridSouthSea]

I want that as a tshirt. "I motivate myself with fear and urgency"

[@user-er4xx5mx5y]

Thank you for this video Sam. Absolutely get the motivation out of fear. Being able to pull off a 1st class degree with the mantra 'diamonds are made under pressure', but now later realising the burn out! The competing sides are real and its like your stuck in an awkward (do I) 'handshake or hug' dance. So awkward. Craving social, but also being terrible at it. Thanks for your serious effort to keep making content Sam!

[@zacharycadman8226]

You are one of the main reasons I am looking into a autism assessment. I have been diagnosed with ADHD as a child, but some things have never added up. It is insane how much I can relate to your experience!

[@lauradeneault3525]

I always felt that it is more painful in a way to not respect my autism side, but I also know that the more I ignore my ADHD side the more I get depressed. It's an impossible balance for me, because both are always fighting each other to be let out.

[@thelifester]

7:56 “life is too short to be cruel to parts of yourself that you don’t like too much” 😢 so true and I have to tattoo this on my arm 😮

[@Susieshoosie]

At some point last year I realized that I didn't attract "weird" friends, so much as I attracted neuro-divergent ppl. Some diagnosed, some not, but they're so similar to my diagnosed friends that well.... (I'm undiagnosed, can't afford to bc I live in the US)

[@user-js4mt1nr2y]

I described all these things and they all got reasoninged as autistic traits. Talking too much is not noticing that people are uninterested. I do notice.. I just can't stop myself. Poor planning is just executive problems like not understanding how much time things will take.. Where I knew it was just not being able to to feel the urgency. I have also been told with activities and dancing I am hyper.. But also I am way too silent, quiet and good at focussing at school even tho I felt just really interested and motivated to understand, learn and achieve. I did sport at school almost every day at high school. Sports makes me feel amazing. But I've been burned out and depressed on and off for more than 10 years after graduating my bachelors in which I was emotionally overwhelmed all the time and bullied at times aswell. I relate to adhd'ers and they are my friends and I have fun with them but I also seem to mask a bit to keep up with the constant talking and having fun and all that. I also am more a fearfull avoidant that learned to become more secure where the adhd'ers tent to be anxious and then just drop of the earth because they get distracted or forget about you where my mind always try to keep remind myself to spread my social effords to all my friends even tho I can also forget that I have that friend so to speak. I did get the diagnosis add but it was more to help me get out of my burnout and chronic fatigue by trying ritalin and well.. It's a miracle drug for me as I am able to get out of bed and have a bit of a life. But we always approached it from an chronic fatigue pov where I did expressed how novalty and fysical activities (dopamine) can work miracles for my energy levels. I don't relate often to othet people with autism, every psychologist said I just have it light.. But also am 10 years in a burnout because of it.. Is that light? I am aswell hypervigilant to so social cues and highly empathic but I also have learned this is part of my fearfull avoidant traits. Just as that my ridget or all or nothing thinking is a form of controll to feel safer. So.. What is what exactly? Why don't i connect well with people with ass and very well with adhd'ers? And I do seem to struggle very much with under and over stimulation. Balance is what I hear my whole life.. You can't seem to balance it's full force energy all or it's burned out fatigue nothing. I do forget and loose things all the time. But I also have this extreme strict parent in my head that tries to avoid these inattentive mistakes. Instead of saying my head is always bussy they say I am an overthinker but I don't necessarily spiral. They say I try to predict things to feel safer and things won't overwhelm my autism but at the same time I crave new and spontaneous things. I have difficulties with structure and routines but if I can force myself I tent to feel more peaceful. I only know people at my bachelors that did last minute work so I think most people just procrastinate. I tent to be very focussed in conversations and know how to go back to the point.. Which I want it to have. But I don't like it when I hear a linear monologue and kinda need to interrupt and ask questions to stay interested. I appearently can zone out when a conversation feels repetative or just doesn't interest me.. But I tent to always try to make the other feel heard so I think it doesn't happen often. I think I always have worked on my social skills and learn what workes and not and this is the case for more autistic and more adhd type of things. I do think my mother has add and my dad is autistic but I seem to be the one with the best executive and social skills but with the most problems. I really struggle with the idea at times that I got boxed in autism as it so often doesn't fit me or explain me. And that the add diagnosis wasn't "real". I tried to just be more acceptive of my needs.. But I think it's hard if there is a blind spot. If I hear this video I would defenatly categorise myself as audhd but I feel like that is denied to me and I make things up. How do people think about the argument that ritalin is not making me calm down but actually make my executive disfunction go away. That it gives me energy and I am just doing things without it being a hard chore? I see people say that that is the way it workes for neurotypical people to be able to focuss and energise. I also get energy from coffee. And that would be something that would adhd'ers bring calmness?

[@Nelia2705]

Hey! Sorry, I don't have the spoons to read your entire comment (though I'm a fan of extensive comments/explanations myself ). But what I wanted to say: I feel the " I notice people aren't interested anymore/starting to get uncomfortable (in my case) but I just can't stop" so, so much! 💜 I hate it how I can pereceive myself doing "the wrong thing" but not being able to correct it in that moment. I try to tell people afterwards if I said something problematic or correct some stuff.

[@dawnrobertson3067]

I totally understand not fully relating to autistics just as I don't fully relate to ADHDers. I'm also AuDHD so it does feel like a constant tug of war between them. And yes, it is exhausting. My daughter is also an AuDHDer. I was diagnosed with inattentive ADHD (although I'm convinced I'm combined subtype) at 41. Then autism at 45. My daughter was diagnosed autistic first at 4 then ADHD at 11. I think I do cone across more ADHD n my daughter comes across more autistic. That's probably why we were diagnosed the way we were. I also think my ADHD masks my autism more. I talk way too much. Canny help myself 😂. And let my words out too often before engaging my brain. But my autism kicks in and likes to reply these mishaps over n over again just for the sheer hell of it 😅. I also think I've been more ashamed of my autistic traits growing up although it's been my ADHD that's for me into more trouble and embarrassed me many a time. In Glasgow were I'm from it seems to be more acceptable to be loud n talkative than quiet n weird. Maybe that's why I've did this. Anyway, I'm going to shut up now or I won't stop rambling. Absolutely love your stuff btw ❤ Xxxx

[@truhartwood3170]

Interesting to hear other's experiences. It wasn't until I started learning about AuDHD that everything clicked. Having both makes it much harder to nail down when you don't know you have both.

[@anemiab3746]

I watched this last night and started listening to how my ADHD and Autism interact. Thanks. 😘

[@katiejarvis138]

Another aspect of exercise that can help with ADHD beyond being able to externalize internalized hyperactivity is the bilateral stimulation aspect of it. For regulation, ADHD usually thrives on sensory seeking and from what I understand, bilateral stimulation is really helpful for this

[@jkevinparker]

I don’t drink, but when I’m out with friends who do drink, it’s usually when we’re all exhausted, so my mask comes down anyway. Except for the part where I mirror people so I start to sound drunk-I had a friend call me out on that before I realized I do that. 😅 I appreciate your channel and others like it so much-before these channels, I had NO idea I could also be autistic on top of my college-diagnosed ADHD. I’m 47. 😅

[@jesterr7133]

My best friend of 37 years is likely on the spectrum. We are so similar, and that is what built our friendship. He never makes eye contact with anyone, even me, but he has never been through any diagnostic process. I tend to have a lot of friends that are diagnosed with ADHD. It is convenient because I don't have to talk much, lol.

[@OperationDarkside]

For me it was probably the difference in orderlyness at work and at home. Work: Spotless. Everything tidied up at the end of the day. Home: Berlin after WW2

[@cocoslibrary4166]

Great video! The part that especially resonated with me was when you mentioned thinking "Thanks, It's a coping mechanism" when people complemented you on being organized. That is absolutely the case for me!

[@chrisj4288]

You are the first ADHD / autism creator that I am finding I really resonate with not only in terms of experience but in terms of just your general demeanor, the kinds of jokes you make, the fact that you occasionally point out a thought in your head and laugh at it and then continue on... Its all so incredibly relatable to a greater extent even than the people on both sides. Thank you ❤️

[@gamewrit0058]

Yes to seeking out ADHD friends and simultaneously finding Autistic folks drawn to me like a magnet. All my life, before I even had the words to understand. And I'm finding in my forties that I'm most comfortable hanging out with AuDHDers who are chronically ill, disabled, and/or queer, and love writing, rich storytelling, and cats and dogs. Oh, and the being super organized and repeatedly checking for and catching mistakes: YES!

[@Nelia2705]

haha you just described a lot of my personal bubble 😅 just add non-monogamous and you're there 😆

[@bettinas6575]

I have never felt more seen! Mental health professionals have also told me several times that my "intelligence" is my "problem" lol. Sounds so stupid and conceited repeating that, but my giftedness was definitely the biggest reason I remained undiagnosed until my mid-twenties.

[@samanthasinger7235]

the 'I know a lot about this topic and I've learned a great deal of information but I can't convey it how academia wants me to so I'm dying'

[@zumaone3692]

This was very helpful thank you. It also helped put some pieces together both now and from my childhood. I also appreciate how you end the videos with your bloopers, they make me smile and laugh, which is a good thing. :)

[@Goralyna123]

My ADHD wasn’t diagnosed until I was 63, so I battled major depression, anxiety, migraines and “chronic fatigue syndrome”, from the onset of puberty at 11. I was the youngest of 8 children, so my mother had no time to properly manage a child with ADHD, particularly when most of my siblings also had it. So I was forced to be quiet and still, so my mind was on hyperdrive! I started yoga at 19 (which my body hated), but I used what I was learning to try to get to sleep. I had 6 songs, 11 conversations and a couple of movies, running through my head all at once. After trying to breathe and meditate, I got it down to 2 songs, 4 conversations and some random flashes from movies, and that was quiet enough to let me sleep. After watching your videos and talking to my son, who was diagnosed with ADHD at 36, and has been informally diagnosed with ASD, I’m going to get tested for autism. The ADHD medication has helped so much, and if I can consciously recognise the AuDHD interactions in my reasoning and subsequent actions, it will be a great relief. So, thank you Sam for sharing your experience. I too, would like to see a video that addresses giftedness. I did fairly well at school, always in the top 10, and qualified to do a Science Degree, but I couldn’t apply myself, in the face of so many distractions! I’m a gifted musician, and was fortunate enough to make my living at it for 8 years, but being having a neurodivergent husband, and 2 neurodivergent children, drove me to a physical and emotional collapse. TMI? Oh well…. ADHD me, needed to get it off her chest. Thanks, again. I look forward to more information.