SETTING BOUNDARIES | ENFORCING YOUR STANDARDS - Stephanie Lyn Coaching

[@wandalee5010]

The ones who will be the angered the most when you enforce your boundaries are those who benefited from you not having any! ❤️

[@rebeccacisco9420]

That is the issue I am having and its a family member that keeps taking and not giving back.

[@gwendolynsnyder463]

@Deb Harris Are you referring to the phrase "Do not throw pearls in front of pigs!" ?

[@Ocean19856]

Well said

[@bridgemixx3653]

Yes!!!

[@jasminesaez4878]

Facts

[@NaomiBuskila]

Boundaries are not meant to limit you, they are meant for you to put yourself first and decide what you will not allow to enter your personal space (both physically and mentally). Thanks for this video!

[@wendykrikkevangodwendyvanw9141]

💛💛💛💛

[@hannibalingstrom6476]

I loved the way you summed it up. So smart!

[@patriciajohnson9903]

Thank you.

[@AnimalFarm341]

Explaining yourself actually backs you into a corner and puts you in a defense position.

[@gratitude5740]

Tina Schmidt I always have been exploring myself to validate my position, to be understood, to be trusted . This person is gone out of my life . I’m still doing this with my son. He says to me many times , you don’t have to explain. I get it . ...ouh...ok

[@AnimalFarm341]

Gratitude it’s how a narc keeps you reacting. I keep things very simple and monotonous such as “I disagree with your interpretation of events”. If my daughter asks a question, I’ll answer, but being in defense mode actually hurts you, especially in court.

[@humilis42]

Yes, it does and most times the person you are explaining yourself to views this as being unnecessary especially if they are a good person.

[@webuysellhousesaptscashoff9453]

Love it! True!

[@boogaria554]

I've come to the point where I don't explain myself anymore. I'm tired, enough for ready for me. I set the boundary and I'm not going to explain any more than is necessary. But I will not go into the defensive and be in the corner anymore.

[@rebeccajones8628]

Once you start setting boundaries you start protecting yourself. It is the first step to healing. It feels really good when done properly.

[@PurplePinkRed]

@@alexborn5470 If you do it often enough, it becomes a habit. It won't feel selfish or weird after a while.

[@karabomohlala7257]

Oh yes

[@armontimuzic6785]

You feel so strong 💪🏾

[@catdaddy5498]

When i finally started saying no to people,,, they left me alone.. Just like i always thought. So if i suspect that a person is a narc,,, i just say no.... And they disappear. Its works like a magic trick.

[@laleezy77]

Yuup..everytime!!

[@PurplePinkRed]

Amen! It's the "no" test. I love it!

[@goodmorningsundaymorning4533]

Yes! This happened to me when a 'new" narc neighbor tried to force himself in to my life. He kept leaving gifts on my front porch after telling him nicely that I don't want anything from him . But he continued to try to force me to take his gifts and then finally I had to get in his face and calmly but sternly said "no, I don't want or need anything else from you" to his gifts and asked him to "take a few steps back away from me" (the gift smothering was so weird and kept insisting about how gifts are "what friends do for eachother", and I just met him 3 weeks before and probly only spoke a total of 45 minutes alltogether in passing outside). Now he leaves me alone. If I see him outside we are cordial with eachother. It felt so good.

[@gwendolynsnyder463]

@@goodmorningsundaymorning4533 If he kept giving you gifts even after all, you could just start throwing his gifts in the trash can. And make sure that they're visibly in the trash can.

[@SanctifiedLady]

Absolutely magical!! I did the same thing to my last narcissist that I attracted and he tried to throw a tantrum to get his way and I went no contact and he disappeared 👻

[@HollysHappyHour]

Self love will prevent you from letting people walk all over you 💕 set those boundaries and enjoy your life! Cheers ✌️☯️😊

[@tishloftco]

Holly's Happy Hour ‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️

[@MackDnD]

You completely described my behavior for nearly my entire life. I'm 27 and I have ONLY just started to understand and set boundaries. I have lived my life thinking that I was being helpful, and pleasing people when really I was hurting myself and my well-being as a result. So many things you said blew my mind, about 7 or 8 times I think. Very well done.

[@Dupilkac]

It took me 10 years to set/truly stick to my boundaries. After that, his true colors came out. Buh- bye! 👋🏼👋🏼👋🏼

[@StephanieLynCoaching]

They always do.. setting boundaries and enforcing your standards are the best way to see who a person really is 🙌

[@cindychampion7836]

I had the same thing happen. I was with a narc for 10 years and I finally stood my ground a few months ago. He disappeared so fast. I didn’t hear from him for a couple of weeks until he needed his mail and other things from my house. And when he did contact me he tried to bait me into drama where he was going to verbally attack me but I was finally able to shut it down before it started and not feed into it.

[@nilakshiwijegunawardena4872]

Thanks a lot 🥰

[@yarazard]

Dupilkac yeah your really see someone’s true colors when you stick to your boundaries

[@valentinavuljevic7152]

Stephanie Lyn Coaching iooooooiooiyiiiiyioyyyyyyy

[@salonika101]

I dont have a problem setting boundaries, i have trouble Enforcing boundaries.

[@malindabrowning9240]

Same here

[@jlroussin]

salonika101 me too. I finally enforced a boundary today.

[@wandalee5010]

Sometimes you can’t enforce boundaries with some people, so you have to be willing to walk away for yourself.

[@kenzie9501]

@@jlroussin Congrats! Same here :) It gets easier everyday the more you practice

[@ThatssoRavenDeNai]

Same here!

[@ErikaK]

Learning how to say no when we feel the need to say no, when we want to say NO. It's about putting ourselves first, respecting ourselves.

[@KristinCoaching]

Yes!! Very well put. This takes practice, just as it would with any new skill we develop. But by saying "no", we are acting on that self-love which is extremely crucial in order for us to have healthy relationships with others.

[@ErikaK]

@@KristinCoaching yes, absolutely! Agree 100% :) Sending good vibes !

[@KristinCoaching]

@@ErikaK To you as well Erika :)

[@ivanespinoza4594]

Learning how to say no when we feel the need to say no, when we want to say NO. It's about putting ourselves first, respecting ourselves.

[@sarahgriffijn8398]

I worked reaaaally hard on boundaries and saying no when needed.. People in my life got so used to me saying yes to everything that even my own father is angry/caught off guard when I started saying no. I continued saying no but it is very hard.

[@jlroussin]

Sarah Grifje keep it up! People who get mad at your no are probably users or narcs.

[@nancysungyun]

It is hard at first, but so worth doing it.

[@jg5930]

So true! I was brought up to be giving & caring & the fixer. Bad! I’ve always given too much. Time to change! I’m saying “No” & liking it. Thanks 🙏🏻 💕

[@dreasheart5098]

I can relate I was brought up the same way.

[@mariac5294]

Me too ! I can also relate to this , being brought up to be caring & giving which is good , but folks expect you to be available and ready to help , taking your time & energy ! Not anymore 🥰💖self love and boundaries .

[@jg5930]

Maria C absolutely! 💕💪

[@PurplePinkRed]

Same here! Disappointing that my family saw me as another person to use and abuse. They never taught me boundaries because they didn't have boundaries either and it was easier to take from me! All sad, angry, broken and hurt people. I refuse to let that be me!

[@sandym3239]

This is why I'm no longer friends with someone anymore. No matter what I said or did she needled and disrespected me. I realized they were just a very controlling, manipulative taker.

[@AS-kw5hd]

Boundaries aren’t just about doing things for other people. People will more often cross emotional boundaries , through insults, emotional abuse , gossip, disrespecting your property etc.

[@themommyritualbeautyandgai2629]

I love the way you broke down the child sharing their toy. TY I feel like the Universe wants us to put ourselves first because we can’t pour from an empty cup.

[@celinamilian]

What universe there is only God

[@goodmorningsundaymorning4533]

What do you mean the universe? Lol

[@marylynn259]

I just always assumed that people are like me and have the best possible intention behind every action. I was wrong. I know for myself that I always want to help, and I always sounded pleasant, kind, helpful and understanding. I noticed that those who knew me only as an agreeable person, always open for helping others, couldn't accept when I said no, or when I just a little changed my ways of helping them. They get so angry, become annoying, rude and sometimes violent. It was very odd for me, but I've learned. Better lose a friend who doesn't want good for you, than lose yourself trying to be a good friend to everyone. They want what they want, they will get it no matter what, because they're not here for communication, but for making orders - nicely packed with words please and thank you. Strange but I guess that's life

[@AmericaIsDoomed420]

I'm becoming very strong minded and I can relate so much. Luckily my husband is all for it. We just want to be happy together. 💜💜💚

[@celinamilian]

He is a beta, he let's you drag him everywhere. What's your Instagram

[@PurplePinkRed]

@@celinamilian Bullshit. He respects his woman and treats her as an equal in the partnership. You might want to try that yourself sometime.

[@bayapues6254]

@@celinamilian lol

[@Soothsayer937]

Aw, you got a good one. 💕

[@maryhaslam9245]

I'm 60 yrs old and learned a lot from this video. Love her advice to ask "What do I need to give myself today?" I've been conditioned my entire life to always thinks of others & have to admit that sometimes it's hard to discern what I want from ignoring my needs/wishes for so long.

[@sereene_care646]

I find it so difficult to set boundaries. I grew up not knowing this. I thought that its okey for other people to push me around to do what they want because it is what i saw, lived and experienced with my mother. My mother does not accept "no" for an answer for the things she want me to do and everytime i would say "no" she would be in rage at me, judge me, criticize me, minimize me, insult me,or punish me by ignoring and not talking to me for weeks. So early on i get used to saying "yes" automatically to her though it hurts me so terribly. Now as an adult i find myself so drained and hurt many times because i don't know and have boundaries. It is such dark painful path to be in. I want to thank you wholeheartedly for sharing your knowledge and insights about this. You shed light and guidance into my life right now.♥️

[@leandra4078]

Same here. First I have to learn how to be and stay in touch with myself, my needs, my feelings, my boundaries while being in contact with somebody else (except my boyfriend). No longer dissociate, leave myself and trying to melt with the other person, anticipate what this person needs, feels and meet their expectations. Only because I fear that rage, isolation and punishment like from my mother (malignant narcissist) even though I went no contact 9 years ago. Working on overcoming combined personality disorder since decades. Even with therapists I'm afraid to speak my truth, to say what I need and what not etc. Writing helps me when I'm not able to verbalize it to the other person. When I'm alone, after a meeting, I can quickly feel what I missed to say, what I didn't feel in the moment due to emotional flashbacks. We can heal. For sure!

[@eleanorde-hayes7760]

Sabrina Marie Castro Its so difficult if you were brought up with a narc mum, I’ve been no contact with mine for two years. If you read Fall & Fall Good by Kit Avocet this deals with exactly what you’re talking about. It’s a true story about a mother daughter narcissist relationship and very enlightening.

[@leandra4078]

@@eleanorde-hayes7760 author and book name seem to be wrong. No search results. Very interested in that book too. Thank you.

[@eleanorde-hayes7760]

www.amazon.co.uk/dp/1077357990/ref=cm_sw_em_r_mt_dp_U_TecoDbSKS2TMF...(link to book.)

[@sereene_care646]

@@eleanorde-hayes7760 Bolt21 D Truth hurts. I realized now that the person who deprived me of my emotional needs is my mother. I eventually felt so drained, hungry and thirsty for love. I looked that so desperately outside of my family only to have ended up marrying a man and having three children with who is just like her in many ways. He does not truly love and accept me for who i am and abused me emotionally and physically. I was lost and my life have been a total mess because i do not know i have a self and have not love the self. I am starting to self heal myself right now which is so hard to do. I am so glad i found channels like this and beautiful people herewith who can relate to each other because i found answers to why i am the way i am today. Thank you and i will find time to look and read the book you cited.

[@NeverLetLoveGo]

Some people need to learn how to be better friends too and don’t mean to be toxic. So it’s important we teach people how to act healthy and remain consistent in this teaching.

[@fancyfree8599]

"Is this good for me ?" " Should I be doing this right now?" If the answer is "no", you need to kindly and respectfully set a boundary

[@KristinCoaching]

I 100% agree. I think a lot of people miss that self-assessment, and don't ask those important questions. At the end of the day, we can't help others at the expense of our own happiness.

[@fancyfree8599]

@@KristinCoaching Thank you Kristin for your great advice and a great channel which helps so many people.

[@KristinCoaching]

@@fancyfree8599 Thank you so much! Gonna keep on helping as much as I can.

[@Supagenki]

Boundaries has been one of my big issues. I know I should keep them, and I plan to keep them, yet I fail to stick to the plan. I think it has something to do with forgetting to work on myself and working for the other person instead of working together. I think it should be made clear at the beginnings of the relationship that this is a team game not a solo sport. That way theres no confusion for you leaving or putting in less effort to help than before. You get what you put in you know. Thanks for the video!

[@malindabrowning9240]

Amen

[@celinamilian]

Don't over think it, just do it

[@phoenixbg2096]

I feel i wasted most of my life on adar’s peoples needs, never met my own. Thank you for this video

[@shikhapodwal7730]

Same here

[@deadaimusic1889]

This actually helped me a lot. I put myself in a position of someone getting angry at a friend refusing a favour, and it was just a big eye opener- I felt like a jerk. So now I know if someone gets angry from me refusing to do something, that person is probably a jerk that doesn't respect me or others.

[@robbycan]

You're the expert but an authentic explanation shows respect in my opinion. People not struggling to fight that impulse of over-giving are completely comfortable with giving an explanation for why they are doing things because they aren't afraid of whatever the reaction is. Indeed no explanation is kind of a tactic that the narcissists I've known will do.

[@DartmoorPaul]

Watching this one again as it’s SO hard for me to do. When I was interacting with my mum and said no the rage, abuse and guilt/shame that was thrown at me it was easier to give in and stop the abuse than to stick to my boundary. But watching your videos, Stephanie I reaffirm that I say no and then step away even if my brain is being totally mushed and the frustration/rage inside of me is huge, but I take it away to deal with. SUCH a hard journey this one. Grey rock is ok now, after therapy, but saying no to my mum is still the hardest thing to do because of the rage and abuse that follows,

[@Thevortexway]

I NEEDED THIS VIDEO SOOO MUCHHH. Never stop doing videos 🙏🏼🙏🏼💕🌈 I love you stephanie, you’ve helped me sooo much

[@valeriechandler8575]

My god I am sitting in my room to rest and I did niot understand why.. I am so exhausted from trying to keep up with everyone’s needs. I literally had to go get a injection from a horrible migraine and came home and took care of my husband and my grandbaby, cause they both needed me and when it hit almost 8pm, I told my husband that I needed to go lay down for the night his response was ugly and angry and selfish cause I feel like I give so much!! I’m tired so angry and I have had enough!

[@rhondabaroli2683]

@@valeriechandler8575 ? Some ones playing games and using names to get to me ? I not sure the culprit but I sure i leaving media now. I think it the oldest sister

[@rhondabaroli2683]

Sue and Tina need to stop gossip and evil ways....coach gal need to stop manipulating ad play me for a fool..and tea gal. I can't help her if I am left in dark ..I can't read mind s and i was a good friend that she needs to stop turning me in to the bad guy . And perhaps people like sue Haas can relate to song by John Edwards .sunshine go away today ..I am done wth media .hope go. See some people in life. I am not here for your entertainment t and blame games and bully activity won't end till I am gone .I give y'all the gift of time ! And again I sorry for not being there but don't treat me like I was the total bad guy I was not .and god heal the wounded but some of you are pure evil ..Molly. Tina sue .you should be ashamed I never did nothing to you ..try looking g wth in and find your light .not here fir entertainment t any more. And tea gal I sorry your mom hurt you but I don't think she was all bad.shedid raise many kids on her own and. Worked hard .you should be proud you help her and start seeing find too ...many preach but act different behind scene ...narc abuse need to stop I could reveal more truth but wont..and sorry but you pe need

[@rhondabaroli2683]

@@valeriechandler8575 you need help sue and Tina .

[@arianaalvarez6579]

So happy to hear this. It reinforced my doubts on a recent discussion I had with a friend. Though my " friend" didn't respect my boundries and tried to call my family members to tell them about our disagreement. I did not call yours so why you calling mines. My family did defend me and told her not to be calling them to talk bad about me because we were both grown women and if she can't hang not to be playing games she can't hang with. It totally open my eyes and that was 1 step I needed to learn to set boundries. Lately I have been practicing them though not everyone is a fan off

[@HellaBella]

This video is amazing! My mom basically taught me to make up reasons or lies of why I couldn't do something for someone. Now I realize I didn't need a freaking reason! I could just say no. If someone has a problem with what you do or don't do for them, then that is just a testament to their character.

[@Sahhrahhh]

Love this. I am very much a people pleaser and fear confrontation. Great tips, I’m going to look inward next time I am faced with a situation that tests my boundaries. Thank you Stephanie 💗

[@CaliKouL]

I think it's awesome you brought up how most parents handle sharing with kids, if the toy belongs to my daughter and she's actively playing with it, it's up to her whether or not she wants to share that toy with another kid.

[@johnquillan4694]

When you constantly give more than you get and finally say no? You expose the flaw and "they"move on.

[@SunnyMidnightxX]

Someone told me exactly what you said today about asking myself questions and checking into myself. Note taken, universe. lol. thanks for this helpful video!

[@StephanieLynCoaching]

A little serendipity for you 😉

[@MelissaBozinovski]

I am so grateful for this video. It helped me realise how my BF overreacted when I said no for the first time, she made me feel guilty, blew up at me, was rather manipulative and condescending and then ended our 37 year friendship without any closure.. All I was trying to do was regulate myself before I can be there for her as I was also going through something. I apologised afterwards and seeked closure but all I got back was twisted sarcastic responses… this video and many of your other videos have been so helpful and validating. I feel like my head is spinning 😵‍💫 and you start to question your own reality… however I realised I was dealing with an immature person, toxic and potentially narcissistic… it was always about her…

[@Thevortexway]

I wish it was a SUPERLIKE button on youtube 💕🌈🌸

[@saistrology]

Seriously lol

[@saistrology]

Cancer north node in a crab shell 🦀

[@sagaciouslysage9454]

Excellent! I didn't learn this until my daughter died almost 20 years ago. I'm over 50 years old now. I've educated my living kids on this topic as I found this knowledge crucial to navigating through life successfully. Thank you for your wisdom. ~Sage

[@CandyLemon36]

This is an intricate web of ideas. A book I read was similarly complex yet rewarding. "The Art of Saying No: Mastering Boundaries for a Fulfilling Life" by Samuel Dawn

[@lovecrafting9834]

New subscriber. Found you right after I came home from a family funeral. I am saying no but I put so much pressure on myself after. And finding your channel was a blessing.🙏

[@Genesis00219]

I really needed to hear this ! Thank you so much :-)

[@AmericaIsDoomed420]

💜💚

[@AdventureWithThisGinger]

I needed this.. I’ve been saying yes to my adoptive family for her conditional acceptance my whole life to the point I said yes to overtime 1.5 years to my fiancé’s family’s business… the last 3 months I’ve felt resentment towards him and then because I was the only one that worked overtime just to be left back on the line while they can work remote… it’s hard and I’m tired of breaking my back to not get the help (pay) or support (team becuase they let go of more people while upping production). UGHHH. Learning every day to be a new person that doesn’t need to over explain the simple things.

[@SuperEmpath22]

I am preparing to say "no" and to set boundaries [I hope it's never late],because l am tired of saying "yes""yes l will". Thanks for this video👏

[@elim2141]

I just can't explain how much I like your videos. Although we have a huge culture gap, I still learn so many things from your explanations. Thank you for sharing these vital skills and knowledge.

[@LittleMissCrista]

Thank you SO MUCH for all the amazing information you give to us for free. It's priceless and I really need to hear so many of the messages you spread. Plus, you're amazing at breaking things down so that it's understandable and simple to process and apply. Grateful for your channel, Stephanie. I hope to get one on one coaching with you someday , I feel like it would be life changing.

[@BCHODOSH01]

It's information like this that is helping me learn to be better to me,and learn to do what's best for me, and not be a people pleasing person, especially for the reason to be liked or fear someone being mad at me.That's it's ok to put me first. Thank you Stephanie for presenting this information in a very " down to earth" manner,and the examples you present to make it usable in real life. Looking forward to your next video presentation. Be well, and take care.

[@teawtamarah]

My 5 year old always says you don't love me if I don't do anything. I'm so tired of it. It reminds me of characteristics of narcissistic traits and I don't know how to deal with it. I end up getting so frustrated I become bitter. I feel like just giving up and letting her dad parent her but she's only 5 and I know she's my responsibility too

[@jingerk123]

I appreciate you adding the part about being honest. Its ok to just say no. Its not ok to gaslight yourself or others. If your saying no own the reason. If it is because you don't care enough to do it or your not "done with your toys" then own that. Don't disrespect others or yourself by lying

[@kerryfaden94]

You have helped me so much- am so happy people are finding this community- really great for all of us thanks!

[@vixenxiiiv]

Gosh I love the delivery of your message. I’ve been learning to set boundaries and it’s making a huge difference

[@Philanazoie]

WOW that child sharing example I am such a people pleaser and I am working on changing it. Thank you I will definitely be reacting to my toddler differently with that.

[@carolfay1122]

My greatest wish is being able to set boundaries in a witty and wonderful way. Great video, thank you.

[@СветикСветик-е1з]

You, re like a best friend, who tell what i need, not what i want, thank you

[@samueldegirona9466]

A huge thank you so much for your help. Honestly, watching your videos gives me strength to serve myself. Thank you! 🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻

[@thatsbizarre6624]

Excellent video Stephanie on boundaries. Fear seems to be a big factor in facing this issue. I told a narcissist this: I’m not an astronomer but I am pretty sure the earth revolves around the sun and not you. And that was right after I told them I would call a priest for an exorcism!

[@Mark_B585]

I'm learning to stop talking after saying no. Damn I need to do better loving myself.

[@avanellehansen4525]

"No" is a complete sentences.

[@gwendolynsnyder463]

If you can't fight the urge to answer to a why question, then try replacing any explanations with "Because I said so!" It's a good first step towards not giving any explanations.

[@mrsp8999]

I love the bit about over explaining. I’ve been tormented by feeling the need to explain why I’ve set a boundary with a family member who has probably taken offence at what I’ve done. Now I’m feeling more grounded in my decision - and resolute about it

[@lianatheghost9357]

My biggest problem with saying « no » is my fear of appearing boring and uptight. The story I tell myself is that I’m « happy go lucky » and « relaxed ». But people have taken advantage of me, and I’m starting to tire. Starting to say « no » quicker. It feels much better.

[@Alphacentauri819]

If your fear causes you to sabotage your own boundaries and needs...the fear needs to be addressed at the root level. The core wounds and narratives need to be healed and challenged. Then you won’t fall into being bound by fear of what you appear like to anyone else..you instead get to be congruent with what you want and need. Hope it’s going well for you! I no longer care what people think when I say “no”. I know the “yes” to me is worth it & I’m supporting myself.

[@carolmcintosh5066]

Thank you for creating this video. It explains how to establish boundaries without getting angry, and details how and when to properly take care of yourself rather than reflexively help others. The specific examples of self-care are pure gold.

[@leab.9571]

the more i listen to this, the more I realized that people were very entitled to me and I said yes just to protect myself from their guilt tripping or emotional abuse. It became an habit but I say yes and no when I have time for the things that I am asked for. But truly I have been around users and they gave me that habit for tranquility and a sense of love. They gaslight me so bad into questionning my decision. Thank God, I think for myself and trust my judgements but I still have this pattern within me

[@RedRooster123]

I set boundaries with a friend who , for 4 years avoided paying multiple tickets .... she refused to acknowledge/address the issue until the state came after her bank account...she implied that she needed money, but never fully asked (even though I knew she was asking)...when I asked her, "What are you going to do?" She cut me off.. and then stated to the world, "There's a special place in hell for women who don't help other women." Yea...bc that's what I'm good for...solving her damn problems she could have addressed for 4 years - but refused....not sure what she thought was going to happen eventually. I'm so over people playing the victim. If you're old enough to have children and pay the rent.. you're old enough to deal with the pitfalls of money as well.

[@BP-vu1zz]

Truly..dont know what I'd do without you 🙏 amazing video, boundaries is something I'm working on at the moment..you couldn't have timed it better. So grateful for everything you do 🙏🌈♥️

[@anteros__]

Some of the things you mentioned in this video really enlightened me on how I've been feeling lately. I feel so drained, and tired and...this is literally why.

[@PUGSLTD]

You are a star, seriously you are helping many of us and it's done so well it's a pleasure watching your videos. Thank you

[@rsnsol2490]

this is such complete wisdom. It took me years to get to the point of understanding and really getting what your talking about . I'm thankful that I am seeing myself manifest some of these qualities and am a much happier person because of it. Thankyou Stephanie

[@RealSuccessfulYouTubeChannel]

Working on this in 2022! I have always been a positive person and I have a large smile, which I feel makes people gravitate towards me with their problems and demands. Because they perceive me as a “good” person they assume I will do things for them and I always feel that if I don’t meet their standards I’m letting them down and I’m not actually this “good” person. Letting this go this year!!

[@joanneleonard7913]

Communicating when something bothers you is sometimes necessary. Not everyone will be tuned into your feelings about what they say and do. Healthy relationships include consistant compromise. I like this tape about setting boundaries. I think one thing that people really notice is, if you say I need a moment, to check my calendar, check in with myself, it is then the person setting the boundaries' responsibility to follow through on that. It can be given, for example, an hour, or a day. Committing yourself to then, in fact, get back to the person with a decisive reply, and then actually following through on that timely, is a key component to this setting of boundaries, the way I see it, and in my experience. I also think that the many suggestions for setting boundaries are helpful versus utilizing passive aggressiveness as a way of kind of lazily setting boundaries. Thank you for this important discussion.

[@ahbonetbien]

So spot on and so vital. Why don't we learn this at school seriously.

[@relaxwithscriptures]

Wow! This is so good. Stephanie I just want to let you know you explain things so well and it’s so easy to understand. Every time I watch your videos I have an aha! moment and the light Bulb comes on. It’s like I woke up. Thank you so so much for waking me out of my sleep. I know it’s going to be a journey but I feel empowered!! ❤️❤️❤️❤️

[@carlacharrier741]

Your very gifted in doing this video it could not have been explained any better than this.you gave excellent examples

[@paisleygirl6642]

Thank you Stephanie, I recently had to face the fact I'm a people pleaser and it needs to stop. This really helps.

[@daveighkeithanne7908]

Recently I set the boundary with a narcissist family member that we can no longer be in the same room together alone without another person present. Finally I'm free from being victimized, emotionally abused, gaslit, and ostracized because I'm taking the power back that was robbed from me so long ago. When abusive people expect you to be a doormat, and finally realize you aren't game anymore they get mad. Just standing my ground now, and the dynamic is shifting. Thanks for this video!

[@NaomisSlotChannel]

Thank you 🙏 glad I found your channel & videos you have no idea how much your videos has helped me. Take care.

[@alicesullivan508]

When I say no, everyone want's to know why I'm saying no. They demand a reason. Treats me like I have no reason to say no. Since I have time during the day, I should have time to do anything, anytime for others. Then they work on making you feel guilty for saying no. I'm not in my Narcissist, sociopath, manipulating, alcoholic, relationship any more. I am healing.

[@Mary-rr1jm]

One of the best video's I have seen on boundaries & will definitely do some of these.Have started setting small boundaries during lockdown & cut some people out of my life who were not my friends & changed my phone number.Am working on myself.Getting rid of the users & I used them too eg people pleasing & projecting my issues onto them when I was lonely with problems.Looking forward to saying no to someone who demanded a favour during early lockdown.So inappropriate to ask me when everyone struggling & adapting to the pandemic.Not my problem.If it's that important he will have to do it himself. "If you surround yourself with clowns don't be surprised when your life resembles a circus"

[@NicK-kh7nd]

Thank You Thank You Thank You 🙏🏼❤️ on my journey to unlearning codependency and learning to set boundaries xx much appreciated

[@izawaniek2568]

Thank you, it is crucial to respect our feelings and needs first and be honest with ourselves and others. Telling the truth is the key.

[@lisafanucchi5939]

Perfect video! I just started setting boundaries and people aren’t liking it lol! And guess what? I don’t care! I’m finally taking care of ME, for the first time in my life and it feels AMAZING! You have pretty eyes btw!

[@isaiahdaily1741]

I have been binge watching your surviving a narcissist playlist and it is changing everything in my life. Thank you so much for your helpful videos and for sharing what you know!

[@embodiedauthenticity]

"really asking yourself do I want to do this is this good for me?" sitting with this question and really letting it sink in as your leading question will already get you really far on the path to setting healthy boundaries :)

[@brieze1233]

Excellent advice Stephanie..will follow this from today

[@adamnock2499]

IV put into place Steph's advice on giving to myself. My life has changed BIG TIME... THANKS STEPH....

[@chulabambam5648]

Thank you for sharing your wisdom, I have struggled with this my whole life. ❤️

[@lukejbonner]

Thank you so much for this video. You're really genuine, sincere and sweet.

[@maryc8502]

This is so true! I didn't know I was a people pleaser. I wouldn't say no and became very resentful when it was not reciprocated.

[@DartmoorPaul]

This is the video I’ve been looking for🙂🙂My narcissistic mother finally broke me at Christmas & since seeing a therapist for a while boundaries has always come up but now I know I was co-dependent & in trauma bond, I can understand why I’ve been bad at always saying yes to people & no came with a huge explanation. Having you give us phrases really helps! I’ve written them in my journal to practice. Thank you Steph❤️🙏

[@nothemba1982]

This was so liberating, thank you Stephanie. I feel empowered and excited to put these tips into practice.

[@scottwhitesides6206]

Excellent wisdom and knowledge , Stephanie! I NEEDED to hear this...and you are so CLEAR and authentic in how you describe this subject! Thank you! Scott

[@rayk807]

I really don't think this society is giving society, it's selfish and self centered and arrogant

[@8scatterbrain8]

I think it's very different for men and women

[@sylviastewart5339]

Yes it all sounds very selfish. For example me and my husband always helped our Son out over 46 years. Never said NO to him because we loved him. We went way & beyond what we really wanted to do, but now we’re older and he doesn’t need us anymore he says NO to us all the time and he doesn’t do it nicely either. I think he’s watching these kind of videos and taking them literally. It’s so hurtful 🥲

[@SA-wg5oo]

Boundaries helps so much

[@KristinCoaching]

I absolutely loved your video! You have such great insights and information, and you touch so many people with your wisdom. I wish self-care and self-love was taught to us in school. I think setting boundaries is specifically hard for empaths because they are so good at putting themselves in someone elses shoes that they overlook their own needs and wants and desires at times in order to make sure someone else is taken care of. But as you said, we need to take care of ourselves before we can take care of the people we love. Having no emotional boundaries depletes us over time, and it does a huge disservice to our well-being and happiness.

[@nikenxu3529]

Thankyou ,your video helped me so much . I just feel so stressfull how to say No to people who always made me feel that ” im being the victim ”in every situation that pushed me down, Self Love is protecting our self because no body can do it for us . Thankyou Stephanie 🤗

[@SanctifiedLady]

🙋🏽‍♀️ empath, HSP, co dependent, healer and nurse. Totally, exhausted, compassion fatigued, burnt out, Never feeling loved or loving myself has pushed me into a corner and I’m fighting for myself, my self love and it’s a lot of NO’s and a lot of self love going on… Not sure what I will do for work with my nursing degree in the future but right now…it’s finally all about me, my health and well-being. I’m having it very hard to help selfish, mean, demanding, over baring, no boundary having supervisors, patients and families… Most the ppl we treat caused it on themselves, they drain the life out of ppl around them at times then their folks attack the nurse because they can get away with it…a nurse is always wrong It’s a horrible day to be a loving caring person/nurse when ppl take advantage at every turn. The stress keeps the body and spirit under water. I got this! It will all work out for good, since 1997 I put myself on the line for others. And from 1970, I’ve been a no boundaries having daughter to a narcissist mother… And am well over it. 🤭

[@wizmanballin8498]

This is such a true issue for many people and it is/was for me. I'm getting much better at it, but that's what kept me in caustic relationships in years past. But also seeing someone very close to me go through hardship and promising to never letting harm come their way ever again beat me into the mold of always saying "yes". But when it drags you down, you really have to change. So yeah...everything you've mentioned is so true and it was me for many years. Oh Steph.😍

[@yasiraosiris1115]

Microphone volume please! Wonderful channel - boundaries are life saving!!!! Thank you for bring it up 🙏💖

[@poke_my_starfish780]

Thank you for this video. You are so gentle and validating. Your insight is so relatable. I feel more confident and understanding of myself after watching this. Thank you!

[@rohsisari]

I watch this video on repeat to remind me about keeping my boundaries up high.. Thank you, Stephanie

[@Nezuko_yoyo]

One thing that helps me is to think of times when people said 'no' to me figuratively or literally and then it helps me realize its ok to say no. Because if other people say no then that means I can

[@brittaneelala9478]

Stephanie I literally watched your videos all day and now I've woke up with anxiety over walking away from a toxic relationship and with your help I'm feeling strong enough to not make contact. Thank you for helping me and so many others!

[@LexiA0327]

This is beyond helpful I have 2 pages of notes I’m going to study.Thank you so much you’ve helped me more than you know. I am eternally grateful 🤗

[@natividadsrmvasconcelos9765]

Almost Everyone around us;needs to put in BOUNDARIES;since sometimes people mistake Kindness for Weakness and Oportunism takes place.Happy Holidays 2020-2021

[@rajeshwaripsl]

This is the best video I ever watched on boundaries. Thank you so much for enlightening me and my spouse