Seven Reasons why Narcissists Discard People

[@missminti]

The only real reason you’ve been discarded is because you’re not enabling them like the new girl at work/school is. The new guy doesn’t question things, the new girl doesn’t make him feel inferior. They rid themselves of you for a clean slate.

[@kellithomas9080]

So true! Thinking back, we got along pretty good when I either didn’t question him or I didn’t know the real him. I’m ok with being discarded this time though. ☺️

[@dahjord]

yeah once they know you can see through their bs and for who they really are they give up the act on you

[@Grace4me111]

If you suspect a narcissist blocks you as a means of control, if its real or a fake block, the absolute best thing you can do is block them back. They then realize they trapped themselves and cant reach you and have no choice but to leave you alone. You will then grow so angry and disgusted with the pain they caused thru their blocking games and toxicity, you will move on snd realize they dont deserve you and your feelings can die for them. If they block you, save yourself..its a blessing. Just gone through this!

[@hohji]

I hope everything fizzled out and the narc is out of your life now

[@NoMoreHeroesAnymore1334]

I can only hope it's permanent, not just for me but for all. They've done ENOUGH damage.

[@misss.o.j.]

"Is the discard permanent?" YEAH IT IS because we figured out the Narc with the help of kind experts like you. TY for the video💛💛💛

[@forensicfaithinprofiling]

All I can say via experience w these people is... Don't ever think they'll permanently leave you alone. They can't do that permanently. If they seemingly seem to, its bc they're in jail, or prison. Even new supply doesn't keep them away. Family of origin for instance, if you grew up scapegoat and left them far behind, will always find you again w the playbook tactics. Same w an Ex intimate partner. They'll always try many Hoover's. Even after years, decades... Just be prepared to ignore them and keep strong no contact when they do. Never ever have I heard of permanent discard. Ever.

[@misss.o.j.]

@@forensicfaithinprofiling Thank you for the insight💛Word to the wise!💛

[@rockybalboa4593]

@@forensicfaithinprofilingI had a narcissistic ex I dumped back in 2009 Hoover me and try to rekindle a romance this year in 2022. 13 years later. It was unbelievable.

[@rickwhite5206]

Never forget that whether it is a discard by the Narcissist or you going no contact, the narcissist will have long before been smear campaigning against you to not only isolate you in the relationship, but to isolate you after the relationship ends.

[@tammyfitzgerald5336]

😂🎉🎉🎉

[@edwong4178]

I was discarded by the last narc because I stood firm on my boundaries and they felt entitled to an easy source of narcissistic supply. This person had no appetite for anything requiring effort.

[@vicereineagustino4443]

I was discarded by my narc ex, because I went to medschool to prioritize my goals and dreams, he was really angry because he doesn't want me to have any other world without him. The fact that he cant control me anymore for he wants me to sacrifice my medschool for him bc sacrificing medschool is his only measurement for "love". He cheated on me with his new supply. and told me everything day before our 6thyr anniversary. Thats just who they are, they love to ruin special events/occasions

[@missminti]

You hit the nail on the head. The core reason for any discard is that “ you aren’t performing your role”. That role is different for everyone, but they see you malfunctioning, so they have to replace you. It’s never any different.

[@JohnSmith-wo7ns]

Cos they're so tormented by their thoughts they need the buzz of a new relationship to distract them. They get bored so easily. Breaking up is sadly inevitable.

[@Clevelandsteamer324]

They need “supply”. And it’s needed like you need air. It’s absolutely mandatory for survival. Without supply they can and will collapse

[@donnydutchmen1284]

The most common reason why a narcissist discards you, is of course when they see that they cannot influence/control you in any way. The second is, because they believe that when they discard you, you will start thinking of them of being right after all, and then missing them. And then later be coming back to them like a child to it's mother. So often they do this just with the hope and the intention that you do come back, feel guilty, and then use this feeling of guilt against you to influence and control you after all. The biggest mistake you can make is to think that a narcissist understands that he/she needs you, instead of the other way around. This person does not realize that. And even if they do realize it, they will find all kinds of excuses to justify the opposite for their own self comfort. As long as they need until they even start believing themselves. In their world, they are the person who is important, intelligent, and above all, indispensable. They consider themselves to be of indispensable value in both social, intelligence and even moral issues. They are always right, and if they are not right, they will find an excuse or argument to get it. Even if you have long forgotten about it, they will come back to this same issue later. They record everything you do or say so that they can later use it against you. One of the most common characteristics of a Narcissist is that they are very eager to tell and control who you should and should not have contact with. Especially when they themselves are a fight with this person, they will do everything they can in their power to blacken this person and prevent you and everyone else from having contact with that person. Their world is black and white. You are either with them or against them. And they will force you to take sides.

[@reneehyslip4549]

Thank you for this information! This helped me tremendously.

[@kellithomas9080]

So true about their world is black and white. It took me so long to understand this, but it all makes sense now. One minute I was the love of his life and he wanted to marry me. A month later I was discarded like a piece of trash for holding him accountable and calling him out on his lies. They’re twisted people and they truly don’t know any better. The only thing you can do for them is leave them right where they are and go heal. I tried for 13 years and the last 2 is when I found out about narcissism and everything clicked. These people will alter their behaviors how ever many times they need to, in order to get their needs met. It is never about change and it is never consistent. It is also never about you! Hard pill to swallow, but grab a gallon of water and get it down!!!

[@dahjord]

Well if someone is friends with someone who assaulted. Or deeply insulted me in the past I wouldn't trust them either but yeah yo a certain extent

[@nicholecornes1915]

We no we arent useful to them anymore we are half dead crawling away

[@nancytwigg4631]

@kellithomas9080 "Hard pill to swallow, but grab a gallon of water and get it down!" Love that line, it's a keeper. As are the survivors of narcissistic abuse, keep yourself close, love yourself, and be your own best medicine! A strong prescription of self-love with unlimited refills. We deserve peace, dignity, respect, and honesty. Thanks for sharing your comment.

[@paolo11x11]

I'm constantly surprised at how accurate these descriptions are - narcissists are entirely predictable caricatures of a real person. Once you see it, they know, and you have immediately outlived your usefulness. It's sad to be discarded, but it's sadder to stay.

[@KA-mq4wj]

Narcs all do the same things. The story with each narc relationship is similar. It’s like they go to school for how to act like a narcissist.

[@lovinglife-tq4pv]

Exactly like they all went to the same training camp!

[@dahjord]

yeah its so crazy how spot on all these videos are its like they know this person lmao

[@nc732]

How is it they they follow the narcissist steps to a T? Its like they live their lives in a matrix or a mental prison. I go with the flow and evolve as i grow older. They are in this defined cycle and its like they're not a human being. Its no way to live life. They're living their life in this sick cycle until they die. Im very thankful that my book is unwritten and no one knows where it will lead. Their lives are defined for them. Is there any way for them to break their cycle of narcissism?​@KA-mq4wj

[@dahjord]

@@nc732 they all think the same and don't even know it it's definitely a common brain thinking pattern these people all fall into and don't even realize because they have no self awareness and all these things compound to each other adding upto being a narc funny thing is that part of being a narc is also thinking ur right always so they will never look into it

[@maryquitecontrary231]

Thank you, Darren! The narcissistic discard is extremely confusing. One minute you think the friendship is going great, then the next minute they tell you that they can't talk to you for whatever reason they can come up with. It was the most confusing part of the friendship. I now see why that was being done. Brighter days have passed since then. Don't let these entities confuse you. Get out before you start to lose yourself! Love and light ✨️ 💛

[@moniqueschmucker7712]

So true, Mary! They can be very confusing! Several years back, I completely forgot that I was interacting with a N until I said no to lending them $$, and all of my calls and text messages went unanswered for nearly a month. 🤦🏻‍♀️ Instead, I kept receiving auto replies from the N saying “Can’t talk I’ll call you back.” “I’m on another call. I’ll call you back.” “I’m busy I’ll call you back.” “I’m busy driving. I’ll call you back.” “My phone is on silent. I’ll call you back.” 😂 When I finally made a connection with the N they said they couldn’t talk because they “lost” their voice. I made that a permanent loss and never called them back again.

[@maryquitecontrary231]

@Monique Schmucker That is horrible! We can look back and laugh now, but at the time wasn't it just sad? I pity these people. Love and light to you ✨️ 💛

[@bruceanderson7762]

Yuppr.

[@cyndigooch1162]

@@moniqueschmucker7712 That's an extremely smart move on your part and the person had no further use for you, in other words, which is a blunt way of putting it, yet it's the reality in regard to highly narcissistic individuals. 🙁

[@moniqueschmucker7712]

@@maryquitecontrary231 love and light back to you Mary. Hope you had a nice Thanksgiving celebration. As for feeling sad when this happens, I have to admit it is sad. It’s especially sad when they catch us off guard and when we least expect them to pull a fast one over us. I just thank God for giving me the wisdom to realize I am not responsible for how other people choose to behave. It took years to realize that and is incredibly painful in the duration of the relationship and trying to make sense of what they’re doing. That’s why I really appreciate Darren’s videos. They offer a wealth of insight and are incredibly helpful. Also love that we are able to connect with likeminded people like yourself, and offer some of our own insight by sharing our experiences and possibly helping others. As for feeling sad about how the NP chooses to behave… I take no ownership over their choices … and I gladly give them all the credit they deserve. The greatest lesson I have learned is that sometimes the best response really is no response at all. 💕

[@KA-mq4wj]

They are essentially 6 year old kids because that’s when they were emotionally stunted as children. Mommy and Daddy either smothered them or ignored them. Remember this, they are weak, insecure little kids. That’s why they have temper tantrums or scream at you when confronted. They are big immature babies in adult bodies. At the very end of my 20 year marriage with an abusive narcissist, I found my voice. I got in his face and told him if he ever hurts my children again I will tell everyone I know that he’s a narcissist and he’ll never know who I told. They are very paranoid. For the first time ever, he was scared of me. I brought up his shame as a child and I outed him. I think he actually respected me a little that night. I divorced him and have felt the greatest peace I’ve ever had. He ruined me though.

[@pamnosworthy1581]

Good for you.Its freeing leaving blood suckers behind.

[@nancytwigg4631]

After the shock of my covert narcissist discard, educating myself about his disorder made me thankful that this most unbearably painful thing happened to my heart. Cruel inconsiderate, selfish, unfaithful, immature, lying, user. His discard was his way out. He can have his hell, I choose peace. He misjudged my capabilities, but I know all about his. Sad martyr, victim, hero. Blessed by being discarded.

[@Oceansgreen]

Yeah, me too👍

[@Esther15889]

The description in the final sentence is the most accurate... As if your and mine are the same person.

[@nancytwigg4631]

@@Oceansgreen Thanks for your comment. Live in your light!

[@nancytwigg4631]

@@Esther15889 Thanks for your comment. Live in your light@

[@Oceansgreen]

@@nancytwigg4631 👍😊

[@lorettaenglerth1361]

Another situation the Narcissists uses, is befriends a person that they automatically feel superior to, such as an older person, a disabled person, looking for what they can gleam from the person, even material benefits.

[@sudhakhristmukti1930]

Evil...pure evil intentions and deeds.

[@BSmiths100]

Truth absolutely. This also bcz they're evil exploiters. At work also. This happened to me. It roughs. Or just think about many marriages: narcissists are often not capable to handle long terms jobs, they are irresponsible. For that reason they have the tendency to marry who is economically superior. Male and female both. They are just calculating machine and quite often they choose ppl older than them.

[@NICKYVTEC]

I know someone who does this…all of their friends have something wrong with them, from morbid obesity to mental health issues…literally all of them have something wrong that enables this person to be superior.

[@galaxy98765]

To Paul Hynes: You hit the nail right on the head with what you wrote. It truly doesn't matter what we do or don't do ..... we are going to get discarded either way. That's a good way to sum things up .... damned if we do and damned if we don't. (If you meant what I thought you meant.) Thank you.

[@beaglerescue5281]

Thank God they discard people. That’s how my trauma bond was broken and how I was finally released permanently from their clutches. Life without narcissists is wonderful.

[@jg5930]

💯 spot on! Never let them back!! You’ve dodged a bullet. 😉

[@mzliberty7647]

give n take is normal in a relationship... but with the narcissist, it is take, take, take. until all ur resources are depleted. they will always be an empty vessel. thanks for the vid Darren.. x

[@izawaniek2568]

Thank you. If the discard happens, it is not permanent and that we should always remember. We need to decide that our heart is done with the narcisists and it is us to finish those relationships. Thank you.

[@TC-gx3qn]

Well said.

[@moniqueschmucker7712]

💥🙌🏼 ..”narcissists tend to use others just to meet their own needs!”💥🙌🏼 That pretty sums it up!!! If their self serving needs aren’t being met … shame on the person who had enough common sense to finally say NO!If you’re one of them who figured out the N, or found the courage to stand up, or see the bigger picture… embrace the ADIOS and celebrate like you’ve reached the top of Mount Rushmore! Fantastic video and great points! Thank you, Darren!

[@miriam100ful]

an elderly mother narcissist is harder to discard.

[@sandie683]

So so correct! My narc cheated me with money and went for a new younger supply. It seems there's so many of these demons around.

[@gregestee9099]

8 out of 10 . Not sure but seems that way these days.

[@BSmiths100]

Sorry hearing what happened to you. Evil. Never give money to someone before getting married. And many others precious things we have: time for first. Set boundaries over boundaries. That's the greatest lesson I learnt and to say "No." If someone cares about a person wil respect that. If not, it's 100% narcissim. Guaranteed ( my experience).

[@Elizabeth-yg2mg]

It might sting now but thank God you aren't stuck with them permanently!

[@Clevelandsteamer324]

You are a mirror 🪞 to them. If you don’t reflect back what they want you will be replaced with one that does. They don’t even see you as a human being. You are either supply or in the way

[@TC-gx3qn]

"Is the discard permanent?" Only if we make it permanent by not allowing them to smooth talk their way back in. Ever. Another great and helpful video, Darren. Thank you. 👏🏽

[@tammyfitzgerald5336]

🙏🏽🙌💯🙏🏽🙌💯🤛🏽🦁

[@TC-gx3qn]

@@tammyfitzgerald5336 🙌🏽 💕

[@jenb131]

The best thing the narc did for me was discard me. He came, he used, he left. Good riddance to the trash

[@flowerchild89]

Same here

[@Madmart54]

Ditto with my ex wife. Came empty handed apart from a few thou. which didn’t really last long. She felt it was an equal amount to everything I put in over 19 years. I enjoyed the first 10 year love bomb then she suddenly changed and I was demeaned devalued rejected and no doubt a smear campaign against me to wreck my life. Then after another 9 years she left suddenly without a word taking half my house which she hadn’t paid a penny for as it was mine before I met her-good old English Law. I wonder if she’d have stuck it out if a Prenuptial was possible. Smashed my life to bits for a year. When the rose tinted glasses fell off I realised after the trauma bonding that I’d got my life back. Never been so happy but scars never heal.

[@demigaines5644]

Thank You So Very Much For Sharing This 🙏I Needed To Hear This. I Was Recently Discarded Thrown Away Horribly In A Text.Message I’m Struggling To Disconnect From This Person I’m Severely Trauma Bonded And I’m Struggling To Block This Person. I Would Never Wish Narcissistic Abuse On Anyone . The Abuse Is Very Brutal 😢

[@eddygonzalez7174]

Hang in there. It’s really tough but going no contact really helps with the healing process. I wish you best.

[@demigaines5644]

@@eddygonzalez7174 Thank you So Very Much

[@futz1656]

It’s painful but it is so worth it to have your freedom to live life on your own terms. Good luck x

[@demigaines5644]

@@futz1656 Absolutely True🙏

[@cynthiafortier2540]

Brutal yes, but the awakening to their madness is amazing. One and done!!

[@zamiadams4343]

My parents are both narcissists and they have literally discarded every single person in their lives. That includes me and my brother, all their brothers and sisters and they blame everyone else. Me and my brother have nothing to do with them now and its the best decision we've ever made. It used to bother me that everyone thought my mum and dad were arseholes, now i just accept it as its true.

[@Elizabeth-yg2mg]

It's good that people see through the them. It would be worse if they appeared wonderful and you weren't believed.

[@cynthiafortier2540]

Discard was my protection from my narc family. Thankyou to my drunk narc family for leaving me alone and allowing me to heal.

[@justChrisjones]

I don't know if regular narcissists also are a bit psychopathic? All of the description you just gave are really accurate to my experience. It takes lifetime for me just looking back and witnessing my growth over the years in in trying to get out of the relationship, but what I didn't know was he would continue trying to control everybody in the family anyway even after a divorce. I didn't know all these things. I was extremely controllable from the start even a hand motion off of someone could control me. So everyone in my entire family used deepening their voice and making it strong to intimidate me. He taught everybody that but even my older sister does this. If you're staying with them it will drive you close to insanity. My daughter lives 1200 miles away and I believe she's married to the same type of person, as time passed and through therapy I was standing up for myself more so they cut me off from talking. The psychopath finally just really drank himself and disregarded his health arrogantly until he died. Also 1300 miles away. He took on my son as his Supply. He Orchestrated accidents to harm people. The confusion that he created you couldn't keep up with the abuse. My daughter is 45 so only time will tell if she can endure her type of abuse. It is so manipulative and so confusing they trick you all the way. I really appreciate listening to you on these tapes because it helps to validate my Strange experience. Thank you for the clarity.

[@mystrength5640]

Sorry you went thru this and so is your daughter!🙏🏻 I’m in the middle of being discarded..He’s manipulated our Adult Daughter. Since she was a child! She still hasn’t seen this as yet, it’s very painful.. To be in this Triangle. Plus he always brought in outsiders as his Flying Monkeys. I’m near to going Noo contact with them. I’ve kept them with No information from my side. But did tell this to My Narc. But No Details just. That I didn’t want them to know my Business! Then my Narc will be next with The No contact// Why after 36 yrs does it Hurt soo Badly?

[@justChrisjones]

@@mystrength5640 sorry that is such a betrayal

[@justChrisjones]

Try to get away from it because the exhaustion is incredible. You need rest and healing now.

[@mystrength5640]

@@justChrisjones Tnx. I do. The pain is incredible! Bless you! 🙏🏻🌸👼🏻

[@simjam1980]

Cluster B personality disorders are psychopaths, sociopaths and narcissists. The similarity between them is that they all lack empathy of any kind. They can fake it, but they can't feel it.

[@Steve-gc5nt]

My narc never discarded anybody but he sure did drive dozens of people away.

[@katiedid8192]

I had a friendship with a covert narcissist which developed from group interaction. Started with “love bombing” and she tries to keep a public image as being kind, engaging, and very religious. In private she is negative, thin skinned, controlling, gossipy, and uses passive aggressive behavior on her target etc. Evidently I am the second supply and she has recently moved to her third source. She is quite cleaver the way she manipulates and controls the group. It was only after she recently used her passive aggressive discard on me that I learned of her behavior to another in the group. Found your and Dr. Ramani ‘s podcasts. Quite interesting. Since, the rest of us, generally try to be charitable and kind we have not exposed her- all of us know that she is negative, and thin skinned- hence she has gotten a pass. She recently started the passive aggressive behavior devaluing, not looking or talking with me, unless another member of the group was present- then she was miss sweetie pie. I called her several weeks after she started the little sherade and asked her if I had offended her. Her answer was, “ No, I just started feeling this way and don’t know why” then about a week later, at our usual game day at my house she enters all happy, treating me as her best friend and bringing me a gift in front of everybody. I was hospitable and gracious but have not, nor will I engage with her- will need to yellow rock as we are in several women’s Church groups together. I feel like I am in middle school. My only concern is how much damage she will try to do to my reputation in the group and how to respond to others in a charitable manner. Thank you so much for your podcasts. I have learned soooooo much. Hopefully I will be more aware if I meet another covert narcissist- my humble diagnosis for her. Thank you

[@Marshadow69]

So, in a nutshell...damned if you do and damned if you don't.

[@nicholettej1742]

Yup .. they’re that awful

[@Oceansgreen]

They’re not human!! No human being could be so cruel to someone they’re supposed to love… but having said that, they don’t know what love is.

[@miriam100ful]

if it was a friend narcissist, probably yes, if it's a relative like a mother , this is much harder.

[@LR-yu3mx]

They treat someone as if the person is a piece of junk. A day later they 'll be nonchalant asif nothing happened between them

[@Butterfly-if1qs]

Happy Thanksgiving Darren! In a weird way, this helps decrease the pain.

[@DutchDansing]

Just what I needed today.

[@ginkgo2021]

I’m a #7! And proud of it. It took me thirty years to earn #7 status. But I made it. I went completely no contact after the divorce was final.

[@seancrawford4134]

Be thankful that your narc has discarded you. You will be better off with someone else or on your own!

[@Whitemike0413]

You said it all. Thank You.

[@DennisNowland]

Rings plenty of bells thanks for sharing and reminding me.

[@bkpsly1]

The discard is abhorrent behavior and completely repugnant that there are people like this on the planet

[@Elizabeth-yg2mg]

Especially after putting so much time into you and when you truly meant them well.

[@ginkgo2021]

@@bkpsly1 they are zombies inside. The Walking Dead.

[@vicereineagustino4443]

My 6yr relationshio with the narc ended because he already found his new supply. Mind you, he was making me prepared to migrate to Australia from December to January. he even told me that he really needs me there, so I fix all the documents needed for my visa. But after a few days, he told me his not ready and confused, and after a month he told me there is someone else already. FYI, He told me everything day before our 6th yr anniversary/valentines day. Just months after he told me he needed me, I was so busy preparing all my documents for my visa and I didn't know he was already talking with his new supply.

[@nopereradicator]

Thank goodness you didn’t move. They really find creative ways to destroy your life.

[@Wishpool]

At least half of these reasons applied to my discard. Excellent points, Darren!

[@AjimoleVarghese]

Narcissistic people never discard for permanent, pretending like that, my experience. They always keep an eye on the victims.

[@Jillian15]

Thank you kind sir for your accurate analysis.

[@paulothx138]

Man, this was amazing, keep up the awesome work.

[@lesliegraceschmidt5488]

I had a recent episode with my ex, he has a personality disorder that is undiagnosed. He became enraged when he found out I used a dating app, when we weren’t together/broken up. It was after months of being shelved and picked up. He said horrible things, stormed out and has blocked me. He told me he hated me and I was worse than the lowest person he’d ever been hurt by. He threatened to kill himself so I had to go to him to see if he’d hurt himself. He blocked me that night, unblocked me and then blocked again that next day. Two days later he mailed my daughter letter that he’s promised, along with a personal sketch of me, which he’d said months ago he’d work on. Why did he do this?, the letter and the note- if he’s enraged and discarded me? is this him reaching out? Is this not the final discard? I just want to know so I can move on

[@JohnSmith-wo7ns]

She discarded me cos id become increasingly fed up with her attitude, take take take, even stopped spending less time with me cos she was out sniffing for new supply. I caught her with one and she'd obviously been telling him she was single and I was abusive toward her!! Total lies. I wont be hearing from her until she burns her bridges with her new group of victims.

[@mauricemboula5869]

Sorry to hearing that. You still love her?

[@JohnSmith-wo7ns]

@@mauricemboula5869 I thought I loved her, but how can you love someone who treats you like dirt. She was like my drug.

[@mauricemboula5869]

@@JohnSmith-wo7ns it's really hard. I am going through the same situation. I have discarded by my wife after 10 years marriage and 5 kids. We had a simple argument and she started sleeping in the living room...I was mad and shocked of her reaction.3 months later she discarded me. The following week she told me she was talking to someone else. We still live under the same roof. I don't even know what to do. A relationship coach told me to look into NPD. What I found was horrible. I cried all day after found out that I had 10 years of illusion. I really hope things can work out for the sake of the kids and I still love her...strange right?? After 1 decade, I am now confused. Be strong my friend.

[@JohnSmith-wo7ns]

@@mauricemboula5869 I feel so sorry for you Maurice, me and my ex were older when we met so luckily no kids involved. Thats extremely cruel of your partner to be speaking to someone so soon, that really is harsh and heartless. I hope she realises you two and the kids are a family and she comes to her senses. I'm wondering why your therapist said look into NPD, were there any other signs.

[@mauricemboula5869]

@@JohnSmith-wo7ns the relationship coach told me women can cheat on you, but very very rarely they will tell you that right in your face why? Because they don't want to hurt you see but people with NPD (narcissistic personality disorder) just don't care. They are heartless and they just dont feel the pain as normal people do.

[@Phillyphysi]

Amazing video

[@user-ey4rc5tu4t]

How do I stop myself from being involved with these people? They are so charming in the beginning, how do I hold space that this person might be a narcissist right from the start?

[@tammyfitzgerald5336]

So so scary they professional crazy’s ❤

[@kamalvipul9213]

Understand that the purpose of life is Self-Realization alone, and nothing else. Nothing in this world is permanent and will bring lasting happiness.

[@nopereradicator]

I move slow with people. At the first inkling of inconsistency I’m gone. They can’t hold the mask up but for so long.

[@FulvioGa]

Very useful, thank you!

[@lorettaenglerth1361]

Your video is so true.

[@nanaofaiden9743]

Wow, so spot on! 😮

[@annabaumann9239]

spot on! thank you

[@PBerning]

After 25 years of marriage, I finally woke up to understand that my husband is a narcissist. I guess I had adored him so much, and even in my frustrations, I thought our children were pretty happy. But my narc husband seems to had some psychotic breakdown, and so he is trying to break our spirit one by one. He forced one of our kids to withdraw from college in the middle of his term because he was learning foreign languages and coding on top of his schooling. Straight A student. Then he kicked him out of the house. No drugs. No alcohol. Nothing illegal. Jealousy on my husband's part. He'd also been isolating us more and more over the years, and so this son didn't have friends to help him. I finally woke up and I'm in therapy. As one Dr. said, "He not only rocked the boat, he tipped it, and he is now destroying it." The one thing my natc husband forgot is that I float like a cork and, as our daughter said, "He always says that he sinks like a rock." Now that I see it, like other people did, I'm writing down what I see so I don't unsee it like I did in my survival mode shell. We are in the process of future preparations. 🎉

[@Shirrocco]

After he discardet me, he is back. We did. Not have a Long relationship, were platonic Friends First. He went back to his new and former ex. Did not work out. I blocked him, he did not. Now he told me he wants peace, he’s a neighbor. It starts anew, sending me crumps.

[@jennifermollett5878]

So accurate !

[@Lee_music249]

Thank you for these videos.

[@sandras2479]

Another great podcast. Thank you so much!

[@aliceschmid9697]

But what do you do if the narcissist is your father? How do you move on from THAT discarding?

[@nicholettej1742]

I hate to say it.. but if it’s truly a Narc/discard - there’s only 1 situation where it ends.

[@cynthiafortier2540]

I did, it's easy. So easy when you get nothing out of a sick relationship. No contact allows us to heal. No contact with two sisters too. Just got tired of the abuse.

[@debmccafferty1007]

Questioned catfished photos and he ran.

[@evanherzmann3686]

God bless You. Amen

[@GraceDeHaart]

How do you navigate with a narcissist, when your grandchild is being held ‘hostage ‘ to your feelings, and you have to go through the N parent to have a contact with the child. It’s heartbreaking, the last time I saw her was a year ago

[@marksmyth3400]

Hi Darren, Thank you for these great uploads this is an area I have just became aware of I'm still working my way through books and your KZbin channel to understand much more about this dark problem i have just come out of a relationship with some that possibly has narcissistic tendencies been looking on your channel for help to turn this around do you do a guide to getting better and stop being a narcissist.

[@DarrenFMagee]

I have a playlist on recovery topics if you’d find anything there helpful?

[@peetsnort]

If a person is not a narcissist then if they get rich can they become a narcissist?

[@angelabrainky7786]

Thank you.

[@cnhsugarr]

With a vulnerable neglectful narc discard seems to happen multiple times per day

[@yepthatsme1999]

Better to be discarded, now if only there was a way to discard the narcissists

[@envogue2004]

It took a long time to get rid of him...and I didn't like him enough to care..I hope he's gone forever

[@donnas.1576]

After 35 years, he discarded me because I called his behavior (cheating) out to his family and caused a narc injury. He claimed I became hostile and abusive an he had to abandon me, our family, his financial responsibilities to immediately move in with a completely different woman he seduced in online chats (her words, not mine). Pretty shocking to get through. He's never coming back, it's permanent. I can't even entertain the thought of any false hope of coming back in order to heal.

[@Doggieman1111]

It's kind of sounds is like how everyone treats everyone. If a friend is no longer giving you what you need in the friendship that you tend to move on.

[@tarafox6618]

For us it was a whole family discarding my who family. So even my littles were 'dumped'. So cruel.

[@GraceDeHaart]

Are narcissists born that way, or become so over a period of time? Im just realizing that my daughter had been a narcissist since her teens, it is only within the last year I’ve really known it….following her discard of me…… she now 41yrs

[@stacybutler4924]

So true and unfortunate

[@Username74-b8h]

One of the reasons is manipulative fake discard, especially if they found out their partner has abandonment issues.

[@flowerchild89]

Greetings from ILLINOIS 🇺🇸✌️

[@dahliafiend]

She discarded me to sleep with another man, of course she didn't say that was why she made it a big dramatic thing to confuse me. She came back for a year, Then once I couldn't handle the insanity anymore and began trying to bring reality into the conversation she dumped me. She eventually married a rich older man which I knew would be the last I'd hear from her. The money is too important to risk anyone hearing about her past. She's the least caring person I've ever met but acts ironically as one of the most sensitive and caring people ever, so when the ask drops and she basically acts like trash and talks horribly demeaning it's a shock. It took years really for me to understand that it wasn't my fault. I had to learn what coverr narcissism. Once i did it was like a jigsaw puzzle. I was relieved in that I had a reaazon finally for her but heartbroken knowing that it was all an act from day one.. An average ten-year-old is more mature and humane than a narc, They act righteous too on top of being insufferable.. It's hard to listen to a blatant cheater give a lecture on honesty They live in a fantasy world of lies and dlusion that you better agree to be apart of or you get dumped. You get dumped either way though. None of them are faithful.

[@Magirl-xq4hr]

I lent some money to a narcissist, I tried to go no contact but i couldn’t let go of my money so it’s a difficult situation to be in. I always have to remind the narcissist to send me money, not pleasant after a discard.

[@grantaugustyniak6667]

Coming back to me would come with such a high price that a narc will never be able to afford !

[@Xtian982]

I wish I found this channel a year and 1/2 ago. I feel so, so stupid.

[@gregestee9099]

I wish I knew 35years ago. It's not your fault and you're not stupid. 🙏

[@Xtian982]

@@gregestee9099 Thank you kind stranger ♥️

[@gregestee9099]

@@Xtian982 ❤️

[@SophieBird07]

@@gregestee9099 Yes! I was searching for answers for so many years. It wasn’t until internet access, KZbin, etc became more available was I finally able to realize, what was actually what, and how to move on… and that it wasn’t all in my imagination living in a narc-game world.

[@BobTheSchipperke]

Let's HOPE it's permanent.

[@shirleychandler2780]

Can you tell me why does a narcissist cheat ?

[@JohnSmith-wo7ns]

Excitement and no morals. Dont care bout our feelings.

[@cynthiafortier2540]

It's not fun for them unless they are cheating. They are so sick, no contact allows for healing.

[@shereeholland172]

Yup/ And feel gr8

[@t.v.4551]

This is like my daughter, unfortunately for me 😢😢😢

[@thecustodian1023]

How to beat a narcissist: You don't. At least not directly. Don't fight them for a win on anything. Go for endless stalemates. A stalemate defense takes the least amount of effort and resources on your part while the narcissist will see each stalemate as a loss and thus push even harder using more of their energy and resources than they did with what ever the last move is. Endless statements can work as a war of attrition that only goes one way with just them burning up resources at ever higher rates as you just play a simple counter strategy over and over because you can and they cant.

[@chariseyoung9547]

My friend let me stay over because she lives above Hospital where I had to deliver a suitcase. Theres no busses its 45 kilometers to get home. A young man offered to give me a ride home that night. So I accepted then she asked him he he was sober he said yes. He had drank from an airport little vodka bottle he said 2 hours previous. She knew he was a sex offender failed to inform me before I left there. It turned out that little vodka bottle contained a date rape drug he put in my gatorade. So I was drugged led into the building where the car was and assaulted. I managed to get a ride home by him he didnt want to listen to my pleading with him on my behalf. I paid him $50 for gas on top of it all. I told her I filed a Police report he was charged stipulations to stay away from me no contact as he tried to get me to go with him 3 days later. Then he assaulted one of his girlfriends was put in jail for that. Meanwhile this guy her sons best friend visited there 4 times even while he was on the run. She texted me his picture told me there was a group of people after him told me things he did to others. I found that disturbing as I barely knew what he looked like it was dark. I just trusted if he was at her place she wouldn't let me go with someone like that. She said she didnt know he was so messed up. We were both given supoenas for court . Three days days before court date they The Crown told me they were going to do a Plea Bargain with him I didnt need to go to Court. She was acting strange a week before saying she found some poetry no title no signature supposing it was mine. It was an awful negative horrible poem not content I would write. She insisted I wrote it then wouldn't take my calls after that. I wanted to let her know Court was off now. Then I called her a day after Court date she blew up at me blaming me because of the Plea Bargain because the Court Clerk said he pled guilty. It was perfidious as I'm not the Crown why her anger. I double checked with the Crown he pled guilty to charges on the other Assault case. It turned out that someone brought the Media there and I wanted to keep this case Private that was my wish not wanting a circus. So she kept hanging up on me lifting the receiver so I could hear them but if I called back it would ring busy. Just being cruel, spiteful, childish, finally I texted her telling her what the Crown did was commonplace in rape cases unless I was beaten which because I kept my wits kept my cool got through the ordeal mentally emotionally shaken up not physically except recovering from the drug. He has to go to a forensic centre for counselling. Her last words were so did my son when he got charged with rape but he got let out of jail and attended the nearby city for treatment. Why hasn't he called my son? So I gathered it was her friends that called the media, that she planned to get attention at my expense, to put on a show. Wow I'm shocked as I've put her on a pedestal for 15 years admiring her shes very talented well organized esthetician raising her grandchildren not realizing how low she thought of me. My minds kindve confused I feel kindve heart broken but managing learning about narcissists. Doesnt take the pain away just dulls it a little, makes it bearable.

[@tammyfitzgerald5336]

When the social network finally catches up and the smart doctors pay attention 🙏🏽🙌🙏🏽🙌💯💯🙌🙏🏽🙌❤️❤️❤️🇺🇸🇺🇸🇺🇸

[@nopereradicator]

Rare, but you’re right. When it does happen 🎉🎊🎈

[@secretgoldfish]

If you tell them that you know what they're doing they're far more likely to F off permanently .......to then move onto the next empathetic target they can try to suck dry unfortunately (for the next person who has to suffer them).

[@lisafisher4301]

I've had to discard the narrcast

[@tammyfitzgerald5336]

🎉🎉❤❤🙏🏽🙌🙏🏽🙌

[@nopereradicator]

Not easy AT ALL. Good for you! 🍾

[@DaRyteJuan]

Who knew narcissism was at such epidemic proportions?! lol

[@DustyBanditRepellant]

Please lord let him discard me

[@dkinney1000]

Any relationship built on a single narrative, point or view or purpose is bound to fail eventually, with or without a narcissist in the mix.

[@thinkingallowed1st]

10 years he chased me. Isolated me then literally shooed me out of his house as id outstayed my welcome

[@nicholecornes1915]

Omg I never felt so close to death in my entire life

[@nicholecornes1915]

Fuck yes it permanently

[@peetsnort]

If a person is not a narcissist then if they get rich can they become a narcissist.?

[@tammyfitzgerald5336]

This a taught behavior always a parent that taught this 🙏🏽🙌💯🙏🏽🙌💯

[@lovinglife-tq4pv]

I believe it's a one-two punch. They have a brain anomaly that lends itself to narcissism. The dark spot that we see on the front of the psychopath's brain. Then the environment causes them to form the narcissistic coping mechanisms.

[@АлинаКосихина]

Dry bear 23

[@marcilk7534]

Me: Baby, do you know what Sunday is? Him: No Me: Our 6 month anniversary. Him: why do women mark anniversaries? Men don’t do that. Blah blah blah word salad, tries to start a fight. Me: avoids fight because I can see he’s been trying to start fights lately. Later texts, to try to make him feel special. “You are the only relationship I’ve marked monthly anniversaries with.” Him: I was talking in general, but it appears you took it personal. Me: Explaining that it’s ok for me to bring up something slightly different than but related to the topic you started. Him: Hangs up on me because he claims I’m yelling at him. (I’m not but I did have a bad day earlier for unrelated reasons, so my voice might have sounded a little stressed, but he has no empathy so wouldn’t understand) Me Later: Can you watch the videos I sent you? Him: hangs up on me and ghosts me. He must have been feeling or thinking something he wasn’t talking about, but he isn’t a very self-reflective person. If he would have talked about it instead of just acting weird, trying to start fights or thinking the worst when I’m trying to be sweet, then we might have been able to work things out.

[@nanaofaiden9743]

Girl, get out now! Early on!

[@marcilk7534]

@@nanaofaiden9743 Yep, relationship ended after that. After ghosting me for a week, he texted calling me “friend”. My son had just been in the hospital in ICU at that time, and I was in no mood. I laid into him in a text, and that was basically it.

[@clogs4956]

Still waiting for the discard. Guess I’m still useful…

[@EmpoweredToBeMe]

No offence but why are you waiting and not walking away.

[@z32luvr]

Don’t kid yourself.

[@krugermain666]

Calm baby 25

[@НикитаПротасов-ь6м]

Easy friend 94

[@RealinDealer]

You're just describing a narcisst. Anyone who's been in this type of relationship already knows these details. So why waste time?

[@nopereradicator]

Not while you’re in it.

[@anilsaraf990]

If they loved you ever dscard would never exist

[@VMorgenthaler-yp6yz]

Oh, yeah, you're gonna get used. Even for sex. That's still a thing, even if the narc is in their 60's. Do these people ever change? Maybe? On their deathbed?